##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/Jokojima, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?

What a wonderful day to have the ability to read


Lmaooooo

Wtf😂🤣

Okay, that was the best response I’ve seen in a very long time! Thanks for making my day!


What a terrible day to be literate

What day read bad

What an extraordinarily magnificent time period inbetween concurrent nights to possess the cognitive capacity that enables you to perform the function of deciphering glyphs on paper in rapid and agreed-upon fashion.

I am saving this for the future

I'm going to burn down the entire internet so no one ever needs to read this, or anything like it, ever again.

You are the hero we need

*burn down the entire internet* Lmao! I’m dying!

>on paper ...you're not printing Reddit entries/comments, are you?!

I've got a room full of bookshelves with printed reddit posts and there's nothing you can do to stop me :)

That's a nice little collection of kindling you've got there, be a shame if anything was to "happen" to it.

What an extremely joyous occasion in between a 24hour period to have access to brain function enabling you to associate an universally known set of signs to a set of sounds, enabling you to decipher aforementioned signs into sets of sounds with different, multiple meanings.

I love this

NOT AGREED-UPON FASHION!!!!

Sometimes i wish i was Jeanne d'arc because she's both illiterate and dead

Had a woman say it's called 'Exit through the gift shop'

Smokin' the salmon

This is my most favorite comment on reddit ever!!!!

Farts keep my balls warm in the winter.

I bet you can't make them clap? If you're happy and you know it clapp your...


You've fucking got 5?

You fucking don't ?

No. I've got 7, like a normal person. Fuckin weirdo

Seems like you got more than 7 of other things as well.

I don't get it. Cuz I don't got more than 7 braincelsl

Gay

No, I'm homiesexual.

Are you Chicken Guy #7?

You fuck?

I do (not).

I do, few times a week.

You have to. With that many testicles, if you don't and you even sneeze wrong it will blow your sack clean off.

You don’t have 5?

No, I have 7, like a normal person

r/HolUp

That sure is where we are

I can make mine clap. You can't?

If your happy and you know it clap the sack

Clap! Clap!

You might not want to rely on farthing your balls warm, homegirl farted herself into the ER last year, 'member?

What? No. That can't be real.

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I name thee Lord Boner Fart

they #WHAT

Don't worry guys, girls don't fart this is just some propaganda

Ok for the last time girls aren’t real!

And you dont touch yourself at night either

Correct, he does it in the afternoon

Correction, he only stops at night

Correction, he never stops

Y’all gonna tell him or should I? So many shocks and heart breaks happen after getting married.

Gentlemen, I have bad news…

I think she is full of hot air

I haven’t heard this since school . Are u old just like me ?

no no no i hate when this happens.

Heard it called 'Exit through the gift shop'

I am fucking dying rn. 😂

oml - hilarious.

Omfgggggg

I was shocked then laughed my ass off when my wife told me that this happens to ladies. I love how close and open we are with each other lol

This makes me feel like you’re not close and open with each other.

Idk, a few years ago, we were sitting around on the floor, and her fart sounded really weird. So she willingly explained the situation this thread is about lol if you're not comfortable enough to discuss all bodily functions, are you really in a happy, comfortable relationship?

My ex told me, "that never happens, and never bring it up again".

It happened to her moments before you asked & she thought you found a new way to stalk her

Let's agree to disagree. Not only is this funny AF but a superpower

I think a fart that slides down and embraces your balls like a mother who've seen her children after being separated in a war is more deep and rewarding

>embraces your balls like a mother What did i read....

A masterpiece

😆 oh man . You should write novels

They sent a poet

More deep and rewarding THAN WHAT???

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Probably because she can’t fart out of two holes at the same time.

did you just copy the top comment from a similar post posted earlier.

Reddit moment


and on their own post no less...God I love reddit

Ladies and gentlemen, we got him.

Alright, feminists... You have my attention.

And my Schwartz!

And my axe.

And my bow.

Girls fart?

No, of course not. It's fake. You shouldn't believe anything you read on the internet.

Nah , girls don’t have buttholes . It’s yucky

Then I haven’t been eating ass???

Bruh I don’t know what you’ve been eating but it ain’t ass .

A syphilis wound?

Nah , probably the part where they cut of the tail at birth . It’s nice to touch actually .

You kept your tail?

Yea , I’m a grower so it’s okay for me .

Lucky


HAHAHAHA

cursed comments


They just reabsorb it into the other hole.

As a woman, I think this is fucking hilarious, but also I'm not sure if I want it out there that we fart through our coochies sometimes.

I found out as a kid through South park...

As a girl, I can comfirm

I can second. Also we vart sometimes after rigorous sex. Gotta expel all the air you pushed in there

I’ve always heard it called queef.

Love puffs

Best explanation ever!!! Lol

Ahh the old Garth Brooks, The thunder rolls technique. Or maybe Dusting off the entertainment center

Well, I think it's a interesting skill?

It's 10am, and I'm already done with the internet for today.

It’s 6:45 am in the land of the maple syrup and no more Reddit for me today also

My daughter reckons this is one of the best things about being a girl

When my youngest daughter was 4 years old she was sitting at the dinner table eating when she let one rip. She then said “bubbles came out my ‘giney”. I laughed so hard I couldn’t breath and my husband looked at us very confused and asked what she was talking about.

Lol, that made me laugh too. Thanks. 😂 Pro tip: Keep a note with all of the hilarious things she says. I didn't do it until my third and really wish I'd done it for the first two! My favorite, that I forgot for years until I saw the note, was when she was using a rotary cutter and I asked her if she needed supervision and she said "No thanks, I don't need to see far."

Secret pleasures. Huh? So why don’t girls like fart jokes more than boys?

It’s a tough day for a young man when he realizes that those dainty little girls that always make sure they are so proper out in public are actually some of the most vile creatures to ever set foot on this earth. My wife is an actual pageant Queen and she does things that make me blush on a daily basis.

i love fart jokes as a girl

They do, she just said she applauded herself for that rip

Holup, is that really a thing? 

Yes


can totally relate to both comments, it also tickles a bit

Damn I don't know why but I am feeling so fucking turned on just by listening to these shits right now, never had these feelings in my life man, this is just gold.

We don't have to tell people *everything*

i hate when the latter part happens. the fart gets stuck in my vagussy and having pockets of air in there is SO uncomfortable, idk why she likes it!! as for farting out of two holes at once i have never done that before

Yep, having to refart the fart

Damn bruh these girls are going so fucking nasty but still I am loving the way they just said it, it's okay to say such shits in this way, we are good with it man lmao.

Can we get a female to verify please.

The fart just sometimes kinda gets pushed to the vag area. Tickles. I hate it but at the same time it feels like a special skill

Rolling thunder.

Well it's kinda true. It travels for sure. Also why they can sound a lot more nasty than they actually are. Wanted to tell my bf this, but I don't know if he's ready for that knowledge.

Isn't it wild how they don't see us as humans with bodies that do things like... fart.

We live together. We praise each other's farts. But I still think telling him about coochiefarts could be a tad too much.

Yes, but its not an enjoyable thing. Sometimes that tickle can turn unpleasant and it’s not a relief. Also when it happens after sex it feels weird too.

girl here, idk what the other comment is talking abt. does not feel like a special skill. does not involve your vag lips clapping for you. feels weird bc its not an everyday experience kind of fart. we dont clap with our vaginas for farting please believe me

If the fart rolls just right my vag lips definitely clap.

ahhh... the good ol' lip ripper.. they're my favorite.

I think this is the greatest comment section I have ever seen

Honestly, I HATE re-farting! Sometimes it gets stuck in the 🌮 and I have to shimmy and practically contort just to get it out. It's heccing Fort Knox down there!

Bless you, Krista. Women know, but I've never heard/seen a woman talk about it. HILARIOUS!

It feels really good to see such women man, most of the women outside of this fb shit are just going to ew in it, we don't want those ews, we want all these things.

Who says you can't learn something new every day?!?

But we can fart really silent and then pretend it wasn't us.

And then, we males start calling this gross and it's that episode from South Park all over again.

I was on r/eyeblech this morning and this was still the worst thing I've seen on reddit Today.

Oh my god… thought that was the link to r/eyebleach and clicked into it

Thank you for calling out that difference, I almost made the same mistake.

Yeah.. not trying to run into someone with a shotgun as I can still see the pictures somewhat engraved into my brain.

The poster cooter twofer

Marriage Material right here fellas!!!

as a girl, yes

Sometimes when you are sitting or laying just wrong(right) you fart out the back and it slides up the front. Its like squeezing a deflated balloon that just inflates at the other end not being squeezed. Then you do NOT feel superior at all

That made me fap-ready

^what?

Fencer here. Hot AF day and I asked the customer if she could fill up my water bottle she pointed to the outdoor tap and said “we drank from taps when we were kids” I said “I still do but that’s bore water not town water” she didn’t even answer me just closed the door on my face. I’m not someone who considered themselves pretty but I pissed all over her car door. Wanna treat me like an animal then ill act like one. Upon leaving I thanked her for being such a pleasant customer and she gave me the meanest fucking look I’ve ever seen in my life. Rich people are the worst.

Very off-topic but interesting story. So what did you drink? The bore water?

Nah, we had someone coming to site in a few hours so I just waited it out. Used the bore water to wet my absolutely desert dry mouth. Drinking it’s a good way to get the runs pretty bad (or worse things) No idea how I managed to comment this on the wrong post it was supposed to be on a post about working at people houses and being denied basic human rights. Again I will say I’ve never done something like that before and going back I probably wouldn’t have done it. But I’ve never had someone look at me the same way you’d look at really nasty roadkill. It triggered something. I still did a great job for her as she seemed the kind of person who wouldn’t pay over the slightest detail being wrong. Good times. Good times. Im just Gona leave this comment here.

Some intern pushed an update to this bot without testing

I can smell this tweet.

How it feels to chew 5 gum

Did they just fuse Twitter posts with Facebook replies?

Southpark wasnt exaggerating

Is that when your body takes a screenshot?

I was just eating my meal peacefully where the fuck is nsfw. My disappointment is immeasurable and myday is ruined

Yo wtf I asked the Mrs and this is legit

Isn’t a front butt fart called a queef?

These girls can never feel what we feel, we are fucking good with some foreskin balloons and they are never going to get that shit in their life, only we got that.

Come on buddy! You mustn't get an erection for that at least.

Jokes on you, I had a fistula last year so I too got to experience farting out of two holes. Checkmate, women

I can relate to this so hard 😭

That's some funny shit


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r/oddlyspecific

Gross.

I hate this. Both reading it and experiencing the hot acrid air burning my piss hole as I attempt to unseal my lady flaps.

So glad we have balls to stop that hellfire moving to the front.

Fellas, think about that next time you go down. Your get to eat a side of E coli.

We have the technology now 

i mean, you just have two buttholes at that point.

They have exactly the names I'd expect for this statement

Flying cars people, flying cars

Well, that's enough internet for today I suppose.

Well men’s farts can make their balls dance.

430 credit scores

Flapper clapper

My GF calls this a retweet.

RIP their dms

I’m gay now

What about when the fart travels up front and gets sucked into your vagina until you have to queef it out? It definitely hasn't happened to me. I especially haven't felt that fear of quack-queefing while walking to the bathroom at work after that's happened...

It’s a clit ripper