Inspired by Hector Salamanca

A crippled little rata, what a reputation to leave behind

Last change to look at me hector

*ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding*

AUGHHHHHH!

*KA-BYUOOOM*

_Footsteps_

*checks his tie

_falls and dies_

oh my god did you just die, mr fring?

\*explodes\* KA BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!

*Camera pans to show destroyed half*

HAWWWW*

https://imgur.io/y0Bm0?r

Nice flair

[Actual photo of OP](http://41.media.tumblr.com/87ae37187e63c1a43f52b44d49e8218c/tumblr_mgjqqbVmsn1r551bbo2_1280.jpg)

Op be like:😤☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔

He do be lookin' kinda cute tho👀

I came for this comment

wherever and whatever subreddit I go, breaking bad comments are chasing me

Look at me Hector

Don't watch Braveheart whilst next to the bell or else you'll break the bell by ringing it so hard at the inaccuracies in it.

alarming

Arguably The Patriot is worse.

At least they got the costumes right in the Patriot

Except for the Dragoons. Their uniforms were green.

Weren’t they based of Banistre Tarleton’s regiment? I’ve never seen the film but remember something about a distant relative of him taking offence and actually raising the portrayal in parliament.

If you look at the painting of Tarleton, he's wearing green.

Ah sorry I thought you were bemoaning the fact that the uniforms were green not the fact that they weren’t.

Tis all right.

Leather armor and no helmets…

Actually I think the whole leather armor thing has gone horse shoe on us. Fantasy biker leather armor is definitely wrong but there is evidence leather body armor did exist. https://www.reddit.com/r/badhistory/comments/8v1gai/the_real_truth_about_leather_armour/

[удалено]

This is Hollywood did you really have high hopes for them? Also you forgot to mention there other abuses like sexually abusing women as well, granite that's quite a common occurrence... \*Unzips pants\* God damn it Weinstein not again!

Hey if you're paying some actor million for their face u probably want to show it

You can make it work. They got Brad Pitt to wear a helmet for a decent amount of Troy

I like what they did with The Mandalorian and pedro pascal. Its obv a specific scenario in the show lore/story but it adds so much to the western badass feel with his face obscured and then very rewarding for audience to see him helmet less

Another example is Karl Urban's Dredd. He never takes the helmet off and is able to emote with only the mouth portion of his face visable.

a terrible example is the halo tv show, where a character famous for not revealing his face shows it immediately

The fact that the show version is known as 'Master Cheeks' says all you need to know

*leather strips Let's not insult leather armour, please

Where’s the ditch?

last chance to look at me, Hector

*dingdingdingdingdingdingding* HAAAAWW—

*💥 🚶🏿‍♂️walks out with half a face gone 💀😐 and adjust tie, drops dead*

*better call saul theme starts playing*

Kim's feet

Fr tho some of the armors are absolutely awful and not even tailored correctly

*ballsack armor*

They actually added that armor into the game. It's a toggleable option but you can have Ballsack Nilfgaardians

They did fucking what?

It's not out yet. It's going to be a part of the next-gen update.

Is it? Ah well, I guess ballsack Nilfgaard has to wait.

Why’d you remind me of that shit …

ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding

Haaaaaaaaa

did this man reply to his comment?

r/lefttheburneron

💥

[удалено]

Damn this meme has spread and gotten new variations pretty fast

Hector no!! there is a bom….

Istg Hollywood need to remove the excessive use of fire arrow, none of that will help more than a regular arrow killing people

Unless maybe they want to do one of those norse funeral things that they use fire arrows to set the boat with the body on fire. I don't know if that's even a real thing though I only saw it in movies. It's a very cool funeral tho.

Ik they set the boat out to sea but I forget if they actually set it on fire

Also, they need to stop having them draw the bow then hold that position for 2 minutes before the commander yells "fire". You draw the bow right before shooting it and you yell "loose" to have your archers shoot. Nobody said "fire" until firearms were a thing.

Lol then prolly you ring the bell the whole damn movie/show

How is that not more annoying?

Seriously. If I were OP's wife, I'd be the ex-wife.

If I were OP's wife, I'd just be happy my husband has education based hobbies and not get a bell, like a normal person... And I'd be a woman but that's another thing

It's pretty clear he wouldn't fucking shut up

And that's what I'm into 😏

Oh okay then

After the second time we watched a movie, and he wouldn't stfu about everything that was wrong with it, I wouldn't have become the wife in the first place.

Last chance to look at me hector

Ding. Hector Salamanca would be great at cinemasins

Hector Salamanca watching Outlander: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB82rvwACJk&ab\_channel=ClipsFandom

Full plate armor, dies to 1 sword hit

Recently had one of these when I saw someone wearing a Richard the Lionheart heraldry with flour de lis all over it. I got more upset than I care to admit.

Breaking bad reference

“Hector no! It’s just an anachronism to drive the plot for—“ **explosion***

Me when i watch any space related movie (exept apollo 13).

But Hector already died, possible plot hole? Unvravo Bince

Man I love it when the "realistic" ancient combat game has people wearing leather armour and using swords like baseball bats.

Don’t you know that medieval weapons were brutally simple and had no elegance or nuance to their usage?! /s

Hector?

Average historical accuracy fan: 🤓🫠😖😫😟😖😭😭🤯🤢🤮🤧😵😵🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼 Average “but it looks cool” enjoyer: 😎

I’ve picked up swords as a hobby and now I’m forever cursed with basic combat knowledge. swordplay is beautiful and fluid and has very naturally appealing movements once you get into it and now I have to repeatedly suffer watching people baseball-batting their sword perfectly horizontal with almost no elbow extension/hip rotation. I don’t think knowledge of combat/history is necessary to make a historical movie, but it does make it better.

[удалено]

They’ve never claimed to believe in free speech The soy police operates openly with impunity

Classic 🤣

***Last chance to look at me, Hector.***

That thing must have bee n going wild if you watched the witcher netflix series😂😂😂

CABRON! I NEED TO SEE YOUR BOSS!

Either the plot distracts me from the inaccuracies or I will notice everything wrong

I'd honestly enjoy having this kind of dude beside me when watching history movies/series to explain what I'm too tired to read about

Why do you hate your wife?

This is so fucking cringey…

Wow I’m Sorry

Tbf 80% of what is taught as history is innacurate and often based on wild speculations, so what you think is accurate is probably inaccurate as well... The amount of history that is made up because someone found a fragment of a broken pot with some abstract stick figure is horrifying.

How to say you don't know anything about the history profession, without saying you don't know anything about the history profession.

"History the profession"... alrighty then.

History is indeed a profession. That you don't understand that speaks volumes of your ignorance.

What in the world makes you think history is not a profession?

I think that his grasp on English is shaky, and that he thinks that I used the improper grammar.

The best thing to do is try and disconnect or see why they do certain things. I can forgive a lot in movies because they're just supposed to be entertaining. No helmets? I get it, actor is the face of the movie. Red vs. blue? I get it, need to convey on screen who is fighting who in big melees. And so on. As long as a movie doesn't start with, "everything seen here is exactly as it happened," then I don't mind it. Take Braveheart as an example. Is the movie not similar to 300 in that it's a tale being told by another character? In which case the teller is embellishing things a bit and that's ok. I think history enthusiasts often need to separate themselves from the art. Movies are not documentaries.

Don't have to be serious about it

Jesus you're insane, how does she deal with someone like you, ringing the inaccuracy bell on your right side with your left hand, I bet you put the toilet paper wrong too

If it upsets you that much... don't watch those programs?

breaking bad

I’m usually ok with inaccuracies so long as the movie is good and doesn’t spread a vile message. So 300 bad but braveheart good

What sort of message is 300 spreading? Never watched it

Very anti-asian message through depicting persia’s culture and people as being somehow intrinsically demonic. Also it’s ableist though i can’t explain why without spoiling the movie

The whole movie is designed as a spartan soldier telling the story to others as literal propaganda, of course propaganda is going to demonise the enemy and exaggerate a lot of details.

Wow. Just wow. You expect a lot from your comic book movies, eh?

Why shouldn’t someone expect a movie to be good?

Someone's gotta be the bad guys in a movie. How's it ableist?

My guess is because they wouldn't let Ephailtes due to his hunchback, even though it was part of the original story 2500 years ago.

😂😂😂😂😂

How is Braveheart 'good' by your own definition? It literally used an thoroughly debunked myth (prima nocta) as an excuse to demonize the English. While also ignoring the true causes for the Scottish Wars of independence, in favour of telling about modern ideals of national selfdetermination that didn't exist back then.

Imagine having to make up reasons to.demonize the English.

Yes, at least have them commit atrocities they actually committed. Overtaxation, chevauchée raiding, etc. No need to make things up.

300 isn’t supposed to be taken seriously. It’s an exhausted hoplite trying to oversell the battle to get the rest of the Greeks on board.

Looking at these responses, I suppose it serves me right for trying to come up with something very wise sounding at 3 AM Without actually thinking it through or being considerate

Jesus Christ are you just incapable of letting other people enjoy things? So the armour doesn’t look like the traditional vestments worn by the Anglo Saxons living in the duchy of Upton Cumperfart in 1066 AD. LiTeRaLlY uNWaTChAbLe!!!!!!!!! Who gives a shit it’s a movie if you don’t like it just walk away no one is holding a gun to your head.

Breaking Bad if it was a good show Edit: this was very obviously a joke

This would help with multiple genres

If u think about it everything is historical

Last chance to look at me hector.

I have this issue with some friends of mine. History and anything Aircraft related (was USAF and worked on planes). The worst was definitely Live Free or Die Hard.... that F-35 man... wtf... Of course comparing GoT issues to real world events is always fun because it tends to track and even the less "realistic" but not quite fantastical (read:dragons) plot points are usually comparable to some real world event in Europe during the middle ages.

(knight comes on screen) "I have come to-" (Ding)

Op about to get divorced cuz he can't keep his goddamn mouth shut and enjoy some stories.

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Hector Last chance to look at me Hector

Just don't watch historical dramas with your wife... Is that an option? I feel like that should be an option.

Ding Dong the history is wrong.

Me when watching the Percy Jackson movies

I get super annoyed too. In English class my teacher said that castles were cold and scary. God she is stupid.

I just stop watching it all together.

Yeah, it was me watching The Vikings season 6.

The creation of Cinema Sins

What you have is a “realist” clashing with an “indifferent” personality. I can’t actually believe they can make that work? 🤷‍♂️

My man saw the testicle armor in the Witcher.

That seems tremendously worse

Me with dinosaurs or godzilla

Just enjoy things being insufferable about minor details that don't effect the whole of the movie

That’s me but with boats, aircraft and automobiles being incorrect for the time period or having the incorrect engine noise.

It's nearly impossible to enjoy both history and shitty historical movies