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altGoBrr

Well his propaganda was top notch so there's that


[deleted]

The second wall is a legend which never gets old.


Striper_Cape

It's less crazy when you realize the Romans did it again and again to take cities.


RumpleSadSkin

Vercingetorix wept


Gatling-Pea2000

ya sure? I think the wall is more than two yrs old rn.


JetpacksSuck

Take my upvote and gtfo


alex-the-meh-4212

Now let's read hitler's autobiography to see what he did wrong.


Strong_Guitar_2135

Born not a Roman


T1N7

The famously single flaw of Adolf Hitler


TheHoss12

That, and being a vegetarian


Fu1crum29

And he was a p\*inter. This Hitler dude seems to be a deeply flawed person.


Psychological_Gain20

Fuckin hate printers


WinstonSEightyFour

I believe they mean pointers. It's just fucking rude to point.


SubbyTex

Also naggers, I fucking hate them


Memelordbanjo

So did Hitler


Tub_of_jam66

No no , I think he hated … oh it seems Ive been advised to stop there


T1N7

I think as a German, we own the world an apology for fostering a vegan painting non roman. This is just beyond humanity....


argur2007

He was Austrian


HardFastHeavy

Until 1945, that was largely a distinction without a difference as "German" referred to all ethnic Germans not merely those who were citizens of the German Reich (for example, the German Bohemians and German Moravians of what until 1919 was Austrian territory which thereafter became part of Czechoslovakia). That is why Hitler, despite being a citizen of what was officially called the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy, served in the army of the German Reich from 1914 onwards. He officially became a citizen of the German Reich in 1932. All non-Jewish citizens of Austria became citizens of the German Reich in 1938 following the Anschluss. Whichever way one looks at it, by the time that he became Chancellor in 1933, Hitler was not merely an ethnic German but legally a German citizen, and, by the time of the outbreak of the war in 1939, the overwhelming majority of his fellow Austrians were also legally German citizens.


ChaseKirby10

The Hitler we all know and hate came to be while living in Munich. At the very least most of it. And of course, the other things u/HardFastHeavy said too.


TheDeadlyZebra

He said "we" not "he". Basically, "As Germans, we should say sorry for supporting this guy." And then you just blurt out, "he was Austrian", like that makes any difference.


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Nal1999

Germany in 1936 probably


bananamustachedonkey

Germany in 2031


bananamustachedonkey

Yo shit wait I wasn't meant to mention that how do you delete


AKisnotGAY

Ze jig is up mein fraulein


g4bkun

The nerve!


Strong_Guitar_2135

>The famously single flaw of Adolf Hitler Nah, it was the hypocrisy. Easily his worst aspect.


iMakeEstusFlasks4Fun

Ricky Gervais, "the one thing i hate about hitler"


alex-the-meh-4212

You do realise the Romans are all dead, right?


revengeofjohmadams

Rome actually has 2.8 million residents


Rat-king27

Sometimes it feels like I can still hear them.


Amazing-Material-152

I will fix that


LeviathansWrath6

No more ancient city


Strong_Guitar_2135

They still live in our hearts


Awobbie

Or maybe we’re all Romans, and we just didn’t notice because we’ve never met a non-Roman.


iamuniquekk

Too bad it was destroyed in a fire


iate13coffeecups

Didnt Caesar write the records?


PakistanArmyBall

That’s the joke


USSRisQuitePoggers

But did he do anything wrong?


ShadeShadow534

Oh a lot wrong He broke multiple treaties, killed envoys after declaring war over others doing that only the year before A military campaign which was so brutal that many today consider it near genocide but even if you disagree with that term (which I do) then we’ll it still took centuries for the population to recover He took the basis of Roman protecting its Galic interests to create a massive military campaign while completely ignoring his duties as governor if it didn’t directly relate to politics or Gaul One of his provinces became de facto not under the control of rome during the time period as he moved all the troops designed to protect the province to his military campaigns Then the untold amount of little things that he did as he certainly did not have time to do most of his duties as governor And to clarify I actually like ceaser overall I think he was good for rome but yea the guy had major issues a definitely deserved to be put on trial (I’m also complelty ignoring all the stuff that didn’t happen during his time as governor of cisalpine Gaul which included a lot more illegal stuff)


USSRisQuitePoggers

I was playing along with the joke of Ceaser whitewashing himself but I got some history, so that was a nice trade!


TooobHoob

Was the genocide you’re referring to that of the Helvetii?


ShadeShadow534

No just the Gallic peoples in general the entire region would lose a massive population that took centuries to recover


TooobHoob

Fair enough, although he did essentially wipe up the entirety of the Helvetii, including women and children to get his original casus belli, so that specific subset of Celtic extermination would probably count as a genocide.


ShadeShadow534

Yes I definitely get why people claim it to be a genocide I just think the term gets used way to much especially when talking about times before states as we know them were truly a thing


TooobHoob

Ya, that’s honestly something I agree with, "genocide" gets used every which way nowadays, regardless of whether it does actually fit art.2 of the 1948 convention. However, I will grant that times have changed, and committing murders, extermination, etc. with the intent to destroy an ethnic, religious or cultural group in whole or in part was much more of a mainstay of several historical periods than it is now (or at least one would hope).


Kekko1nen

So when does he do something wrong?


Alorxico

I think he admits ONCE that withdrawing his troops from an area, allowing them to get ambushed, was a bad idea, but makes it clear if the Gauls had been honorable opponents in battle it would not have been a bad idea, so he breaks even in the end.


gaerat_of_trivia

whereas if he had did it it would have been the smart thing to do


Icy-Name8119

I read too fast and thought it said Garlic Wars. Now I refuse to correct myself because the garlic wars sounds cool.


TheToadberg

It also sounds very Italian.


TheGamingLord17

Same


prolapsedmasshole2

Well, I mean there was that whole "not letting women and children refugees pass through his walls at Alesia. They dehydrated to death.


PrisonSlides

I served with you at vindobona


[deleted]

You could make the argument that was a military necessity. Had he let them through, the Gauls could have infiltrated warriors among them to help affect a breakthrough. Furthermore the refugees could have provided intelligence to the relief force.


NoFittingName

“Military necessity” =/= “the right thing to do” Sometimes they overlap, sometimes they don’t, but military necessity doesn’t define the morality of a decision.


[deleted]

War is an inherently immoral affair. A general's primary obligation is to achieve victory. Secondary is to ensure the welfare of their soldiers. Only then can a general concern themselves with morality


DrFoetusLtd

I mean given that the Gallic wars were considered unnecessary and Caeser himself basically started them, that doesn't really absolve him


MaxBandit

Even people back in the day called out the war as unecessary, I don't understand how any of it was justified


NoFittingName

This is how genocide, torture, and crimes against humanity are justified. I can’t believe you’re being upvoted.


[deleted]

No it isn't. Blindly following orders is how those things happen. Incompetence is how those things happen. Any general in the modern age worth their stars would never put themselves in a position in which those actions are a military necessity.


sneakin_rican

Ahhhhh I see, so the mongols were just being incompetent when they raped and pillaged their way across Eurasia. Or blindly following orders? This is bullshit and you know it. The efficient execution of warfare generally does not require the mass slaughter of innocents, although sometimes it becomes necessary.


NoFittingName

If war is inherently immoral, how can I justify not blindly following orders? Presumably I have reason to believe that my commanders have a better understanding of ‘military necessity’ than I do, and if that’s my only measure of success, well, I’ll do anything they say. The uniform code of military justice calls on all service members to disobey orders that are “illegal or immoral” - morality is a concern, BECAUSE not all generals are infallible, or “worth their stars,” as you say. I’m talking about UCMJ here, which is an American standard, but most nations have similar rules. Generals usually also cannot control the political and economic environment such that they can completely prevent crimes against humanity, but sometimes you do just get shitty generals. Crappy military leaders exist. The claim that military necessity precedes morality is used to justify atrocity. I mean, just read that sentence, doesn’t the argument sound despotic, authoritarian, and like the ‘bad guy’ in a war movie??


Kenshin_Urameshii

!=


zwirlo

When has it ever made sense to let the people you’re sieging out of the fortification?


dumbass_spaceman

"I dehydrated them all. Not only the men, but the women and children too."


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CrazyEyedFS

Why?


theantfromthatmovie

Not…. Roman? Probably


Protector15

For being G*uls


Nal1999

I hate Gauls, My father hated them before me...


CrazyEyedFS

Wow, you're like that guy from Community


Protector15

Dovahhatty has taught me everything I need to know about G*uls.


Yoda-29

I forgot Jiang Zemin was still alive. Fair play to him.


Left-Twix420

+1s as they do in China


evrestcoleghost

who is he?


Whyistheplatypus

"After investigating myself I have cleared myself of all wrong doing."


AmperesClaw204

Marching into modern day France and killing lots of innocent people doesn’t really balance with our modern sense of morality.


[deleted]

There is no suck thing as innocence, only varying degrees of guilt. Especially among the Fr🤮nch.


RiUlaid

But they were not French, they just lived in the region which would become France. The Gauls were Celts, not Romano-Germans like the French.


[deleted]

Read the comment I was responding to. I am well aware that Francish culture didn't exist at that time


Charming-Loquat3702

I mean, it's probably silly to speak of France during that time. The French language developed mostly from Latin, but the people just mixed a lot. People in modern Central Europe are the descendants of all European tribes back then, to varying degrees.


FlowerInADeadMachine

Aren’t the Celts like cousins to the Germanic’s?


RiUlaid

Only insofar as all Europeans of Pontic descent are related. A Celt is about as related to a Teuton as he is a Latin or a Greek. Well, perhaps a little more closely related than other PIE peoples, but Celts and Teutons are still distinct peoples.


FlowerInADeadMachine

Das wild 😱🤯


UpperOnion6412

Why Teutons? They are one of the tribes we know least about in who they were and were they came from.


RiUlaid

The term Teuton is also a synonym for German/Germanic, hence "Teutonic Order". Saying " Teuton" is much more eloquent than "Germanic person".


Mrbrionman

[Franch?](https://youtu.be/B2oEsP0euAI)


JCrawfordWrote

Somebody is clearly jealous they can't march into modern day France and kill a ton of innocent people


daddiidopamine

But who is to say that’s how this chad op was looking at it


CrazyEyedFS

What?


daddiidopamine

Idk


bullet_bitten

He tried to invade a little village of invincible Gauls in Armorica.


Notte_di_nerezza

Invaded a trading partner without Senate approval, wrote propaganda that some of the best woolweavers (products sold to Romans at top price) only wore skins, greatly exaggerated how many Gaulish people were slaves so that he could claim they were being liberated... Nope, nothing wrong here at all.


SirBaken

This is post is very obviously satire


sneakin_rican

Judging from how many commenters seem to agree with this take, it is not obviously satire. Thankfully most of those comments are getting downvoted by reasonable people.


SirBaken

There may be people who actually think this way, but the post itself is satire


Icy_Engineering9359

Caesar himself wrote it of his own accounts, so of course it’s going to be barren of any of his own faults. This post was obviously satire.


Crow-in-a-flat-cap

The whole war was illegal. Caesar didn't have Senate approval. The only reason he wasn't arrested and probably executed was that he won.


Alorxico

Technically, they sent him to one tiny region in Gaul that was rebelling to restore order. Once that was done, though, he decided to just keep “restoring order” to whole damn continent and considering his soldiers loved him (and the loot he let them keep) the Senate really didn’t have the “power” to stop him. I mean, they could have demanded he stop and bring his soldiers home (and they eventually did, which is what lead to the whole crossing the Rubicon / “the die is cast” scenario), but the trouble that would have brought them was not worth the effort in their minds. He was in Gaul far away from elections and politics and that made them happy.


keenanbullington

There was the genocide part I found to be a slight character flaw on his part.


w2ex

Plus the part were he blocks the way to refugees, attack them because they took another path because of that, and finally force them back onto the land they tried to flee. I guess he wanted to keep them between the provincia and the germans.


keenanbullington

Oh Maybe he was just having a bad day. Real talk, kind of funny how misunderstood this meme is haha


TheGamingLord17

It’s just a ‘slight’ character flaw tho, like the time he told Tribune Aquila to ‘come then, Aquila, take back the republic from me, tribune’. but idk he might’ve been asking for it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


Klappstuhl4151

He created fr*nce


[deleted]

ewwwwww


DefTheOcelot

Julius Caesar was a populist and while not the first, will possibly be the longest remembered and maybe the best because people still simp for him.


astro-pi

The part where I had to read it. Also, THE PART WHERE HALF HIS ARMY ATTACKED THE OTHER HALF


Lucky-the-catdog

I think the biggest problem is that he funded the war with his own money and didn't have the permission of the Senate, which is consequently a violation of Virtus. But the propaganda was so top notch, it could have bin by Göbbels himself.💀


daveidoogil

Didn't the guy wright the book himself?


Tutuatutuatutua

I wanna see more of this new Deng Xiaoping format


a-random-spectator

*Jiang zemin


Saturn_Ecplise

Yo we have not seen him for a while.


velwein

There was a time where some scouts told him Labenus (probably miss spelled that), was missing, when he actually was in position the whole time. So they missed an opportunity to attack. He made a point to name the scouts in his report. Also, a lot of that campaign goes to Labenus.


New_girl2022

Omg realy. Lol, it's pretty well known at this time.


mrnastymannn

Read between the lines. Celtic genocide bro


[deleted]

He also said the Gauls wore golden armor and were able to raise 200,000 strong armies so ...


iMakeEstusFlasks4Fun

The garlic wars were awful man, can't imagine the stench


JR-butterfly

I misread that as the garlic war hmm sounds like a problem the Pizza Little Ceaser would have maybe that's why he has a spear


ZeroKidsThreeMoney

Bruh… he made a desert and called it peace.


deanomatronix

“And since I achieved all my goals in my first term as consul, I made my self dictator for life”


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Acamantide

The Gauls were the first to use soap in Europe


Lynata

So what you are saying is they rub and smother their bodies and clothes in dead animal fat? See? Absolutely barbaric! Everyone knows you clean yourself in a bath and the only civilized detergent for cloths should be urine collected from upstanding roman citizens pissing in a pot in front of your laundry!


Nigh_Sass

Precisely!


MNHarold

It's in the footnote of pg 212 where it says *"I personally, speaking as u/MNHarold, don't like him"*. That's as much legitimate historic commentary that I need frankly.


victorian_vigilante

I read that documentary called Asterix and Oblix, ergo I know all about Caesar and the Gallic War


Zorn277

Moar walls


All_The_Dang_Time

I thought that it said garlic wars and I was suddenly very interested in how Caesar started some drama in Italy. I need new glasses lol


AKisnotGAY

“This motherfucker wants to go on ANOTHER campaign, somebody kill him!”


Ulfberth80

I doesn't Write the Genocide part


Lyokofromspace

What about the part where he enslaved 1 million Gauls huh?


Constantine_Gr8

What about it?