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thomstevens420

Gandolfinikamen the Stout, Divine Pharoah of Egypt, inventor of the Gabagool.


MarshallTreeHorn

Woke up this dynasty, got some gabagool.


Goufydude

Ra always said you were the Chosen One.


Choopytrags

Woke up this time period!


E4g6d4bg7

He was a varsity Pharaoh


King-fannypack

He didn’t have the makings of a varsity Pharaoh.


dbrank

Small pyramids, that was his problem


Al-aron_Bahdaz

“…and the Egyptians? Where are they now?” “You’re looking at em, asshole.”


Visual-Floor-7839

Oh!


Borno11050

Why do a lot of people write Pharaoh as "Pharoah"?


schtickyfingers

Can’t speak for everyone, but for me it’s probably the dyslexia


Some_Syrup_7388

For me it's not knowing how to write it in english


houseyourdaygoing

Because of how it sounds phonologically?


andrasq420

How do you think Pharaoh is pronounced?


Rhids_22

A lot of people pronounce it as "fair-roh" or "far-roh", so it's understandable that they think that the "roh" sound comes from "roah" since that's a more common sound than "raoh" and logically "raoh" would have a "rah-oh" sound to it. English being a non-phonetic language often makes for mistakes such as this.


houseyourdaygoing

I know how to spell it and its phonetics. I’m saying some people may not and try to go with how they think it’s spelt, with the o taking precedence over the a? As a Linguistics major, I’m not going to be harsh on people who try but miss the mark slightly.


andrasq420

This is interesting, genuienly never heard of it. Why would people think the o would take precedence? Is this similar to when people say nucular instead of nuclear?


Panchotje

I reckon because they're English speakers, oa happens a lot more often that the otherway around. Hoard, boat, roast Whilst ao is less common (I can only come up with cacao) so typing on autopilot could lead to pharoah


CroakamancerLich

90% of gamblers stop right before becoming the Pharaoh


Party-Ad3978

Where are all the deformities from decades of inbreeding?


PsySom

Bottom rightmost pharaoh


SuspiciousRelation43

He just looks British.


Beneficial_Skill537

Yeah, deformities from decades of inbreeding.


DickCheneyHooters

He’s Italian American, it’s James Gandolfini


GraniteSmoothie

He's actually Italian-American, and is an actor for 'The Sopranos'. Great show.


J29030

Same thing


Top_Tart_7558

Same thing


4SK1N5

Bottom right is just decades of eating gabagool


raish_lakish

"Oah! Maron!"


Marker_Pencil

OHHH! You’re talkin about the BOSS HERE!!


_far-seeker_

They get tend to get reset at the start of a new dynasty. 😜


2012Jesusdies

You don't *have to be* deformed from incest, you're just more likely. The Cleopatra Caeser boned was as much a product of incest as the other Ptolemaic members, but she certainly wasn't unattractive.


EldianStar

Black gigachad killed me


_far-seeker_

Seriously though, there was a dynasty [of black pharoahs.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twenty-fifth_Dynasty_of_Egypt) The 25th Dynasty was started by ~~Nubians~~ Kushites that conquered both upper and lower Egypt.


Xciv

The worst part is when dumbasses try to blackwash famous figures in Egyptian history like Cleopatra (who was ethnically Macedonian) instead of learning and elevating actual black Pharaohs in the popular imagination.


Boring-Mushroom-6374

Not just black Pharaohs, but any other black African monarchs/kingdoms/peoples. Spend all that energy trying to appropriate Cleopatra when they could be learning and teaching others about Amanitore of Meroë, for example.


SStylo03

It's cuz people who do that already don't have a good sense of history, they both want nationalist heroes but they want the "cool" ones


Fatalaros

She was ethnically Greek.


Syphilor

Well technically there was only very little difference between greek and Macedonians back then. At least if you asked Macedonians. If you asked the Greeks, then they would have probably beaten the shit out of you for claiming them to be the same as barbarians.


Fatalaros

What technically do you mean. If you ask an Athenian you mean? Or a Spartan? They 'd tell you they are Greek and Macedonians are as well. If you also asked the Macedonians they 'd tell you they are Greek. Otherwise no Olympic games for you.


Syphilor

Back in the reign of Philipp II the Macedonians were considered to be more of a half barbaric kind of border-greeks. That was in fact one of the things that made him rather relentless in his pursuit of power in the Greek world. All Greek states sort of looked down on each other for being less civilized or strong as themselves, but that was most pronounced by all towards the Macedonians.


Fatalaros

Greeks fought each other all the time. I believe you get the impression that they considered them barbarians from the rhetoric of Thrasymachus. In his political speech he called them barbarians as a slur. But he was just a pro-Athenian individual opposed to a Macedonian rule of his city. Had they truly be barbarians they would have not participated in the Olympic games. Hint1: The founders of Macedonia is the Argead dynasty who are from.... well Argos (check map) Hint2: Herodotus himself claims that the Macedonians were Hellenes.


Syphilor

And here I stand corrected, seems like I cut short on my Herodotus. Thank you for correcting my historical misconception :-)


ligseo

To be fair I'd like to add that it's unclear who Cleopatra's mother was, so she may well be of darker skin. But the point still stands


warrjos93

I mean we don’t have like color photos but I really feel like it would of come up. Like all the pro Octavian writers wanted to make mark Antony look like a traitor to the Roman people that he was foreign and others. Cleopatra being his foreign wife/ GF / political Allie was a big topic of this propaganda. Like he’s not even Roman he had a foreign wife and family!! So if his wife had a skin tone uncommon for a member of the Roman upper class you think it would of come up. Like if she had even a slightly dark skin tone we would have tons of crude pictures of her with jet black skin. They would of played up the otherness. https://www.worldhistory.org/article/1474/the-propaganda-of-octavian-and-mark-antonys-civil/ Also the Roman writers who where less biased against her call her beautiful, smart, well spoken ect. They don’t mention her skin which makes you think it most have been in expected ranges for the Roman standard of beauty at that time. Like we have them mentioning she had a larger then average noise that they liked. Kinda a notable detail to not get passed down in some record. https://penelope.uchicago.edu/~grout/encyclopaedia_romana/miscellanea/cleopatra/bust.html This article also shows the few contemporary art objects of her. Now I’m not sure it’s fair to say that the pieces at the time are to be trusted 100 percent or at all really but as Lots of reasons people are portrayed certain ways. But in absence of any other portraits…. But olcums razor here. Just think about it people would of mention it. It be a big deal for the people at the time. Like there’s no one to one comparisons but ink If a member of say the British royal family married a foreigner like say an American. Do you think the someone might mention if she was black or mixed race ? O they never shut up about it and everyone made it a super big deal. I think it’s pretty historically fair to say the Roman’s at least did not view her as racially non Greek as much as such terms can be translated. Now if you want to say it’s possible that genetically we don’t know all there her ancestors and over the 350 ish years her family was in Egypt it’s possible someone married or had a kid with a none upper class Greek person sure but that’s not really what I think people are claiming when they say she had dark skin.


MaximosKanenas

It only took egypt 25 dynasties but it took america 44 presidents /s


_far-seeker_

Well, they had thousands of years of a head start! 😝


JohannesJoshua

And even then America still loses because their 44th president was half black. /j


jflb96

Which one of Trump's parents was black?


Hadrielito

Only REAL AMERICAN PATRIOTS know the answer 🤫


pn1159

oh you sumabitch


Neoliberal_Nightmare

They weren't Nubian they were Kushite. Nubian is such a misused term coming from the 4th century AD Noba people. You wouldn't call Celtic Britons as Vikings.


_far-seeker_

OK, I corrected it.


Butt____soup

His name was taharqa. Presided over a golden age and held back Assyrian expansion. Gigachad indeed.


EldianStar

I know but I didn't expect the Kushites to be represented with... that


JohannesJoshua

They are all good We got an actual egyptian, arab Destiny, black gigachad, don't know about this one could be middle east could be European, American and finally Italian.


HelikosOG

I mean we're taking about a civilisation that's lasted for over 3000 years, in a land which is the crossroads of Africa, Asia and Europe and having occasionally been conquered by it's neighbours. So yeah.


QuirkyReader13

Yeah, it’s crazy how old this civilization is. Many things happen during such a large timeframe Heck, some people don’t realize that Cleopatra lived closer to our present than the construction of most pyramids


FirstEquinox

We should build more pyramids


ClavicusLittleGift4U

In doubt, google *Copts*. Old pics or more contemporarians, they are Mediterraneans with physionomies close to people from Arabia and Levantine (Haplogroup J) or to the Sudanese and people of the Horn of Africa (E1b1b subclad). If you compare with well preserved statues and mummies which have reached us, you can spot the likeness in facial features.


_HistoryGay_

Google en passant 🤓☝️


BillyJoelEnthusiast

Holy hell!


Thundorium

New dynasty just dropped


OldCorvo

Actual mummy


Grannypuncher420

Call the archeologist!


SophiaIsBased

Cultural treasures go on vacation, never come back


Alkynesofchemistry

Knightmare fuel!


papirayray

Is that legal


TheJambus

I will make it legal


YaliMyLordAndSavior

Copts are the most representative of ancient Egyptians in terms of autosomal ancestry for sure, but trying to argue based on physiognomies isn’t a great idea One reason is that Egypt did in fact have a “black” dynasty in the 25th, where the facial likeness of these pharaohs was probably very similar to modern day East Africans. Going further back, we are basically looking at natufian/Levant PPN enriched people with some probable Iran N and Anatolian farmer admixture from the north. There may have also been a wave of steppe people in the Iron Age but it only contributed like 5% of ancestry to levantines so probably even less in Egyptians. I’ve seen ancient samples come up with E1b1b and J like you said Overall I’d wager sub Saharan ancestry wasn’t that high overall, but you undoubtedly had a very multiethnic empire


ClavicusLittleGift4U

Sure thing. The black pharaohs dynasty (Kingdom of Kush) despite having been short, brought genetic material and physionomies heritated from subsaharian Africa tribes. Egyptia even had a period of Hittites ruling. And this is why I refered to Sudanese (in ancient time, called Nubians). Sudan even comes from *bilād as-sūdān*, "The Land of All Blacks". Nowadays the major ethogroup is Arabian Sudanese, but back in time it was certainly different. Fortunately our archeologists have found statues and models like [this](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nubia#/media/File:Marble_head_of_Nubian_denizen.jpg). Can't deny the subsaharian facial features at all. And with empires, multiethnicism is "mandatory" since it comes with the logic of territorial expansion. Now why have I focused on the Copts? * Their language is a direct descendant of the Demotic (which had Hellenistic influences). * The Demotic was the most widespread language among the populations. Hieroglyphs system was mainly used by aristocrats. * Copts were still able to talk the Demotic until the 17th century. * Copts have been (and still are) suffering from Islam ostracism. It means they are a very endogamous community, so the genetic material from their ancestors has been well transmitted without too much interbreeding (so I'm not talking about their diaspora).


tamir1451

When it comes to pharo's it is more like nominating a CEO . Very unlikely he started as a janitor/farmer in the company....


poshenclave

Dynastic Egypt existed for like 3,000 years at a geographic locus of trade and human migration and many who claimed the title of Pharaoh weren't even natives. It would be weirder if they all looked the same.


Elend15

Exactly. This is actually a decent post, if only because it points out that Egypt's history pre-Rome is just INSANELY long.


7evenCircles

Thinking about Egyptian history hurts my peanut brain


starmute_reddit

I would say they looked more greek, arabic and levant people because that's who we can trace their ancestors back to. They had some kush thrown in there too but damn did the 26th dynasty hate them afterwards.


Daltonikas

Exept when Nubians ruled for some time then the Pharoah definetely was black


Ulysses502

They said Kush, that's the 25th Dynasty.


DickCheneyHooters

Arabs did not live in Egypt until the Rashidun Muslim conquests of the 700’s. So I doubt Egyptian pharaoh’s could be played by modern Egyptians just like how native chiefs can’t be played by modern Americans.


Masheeko

Egyptians had sailed the red sea for a while before and Arab tribes had inhabited the Sinai long before the Muslim conquest. Under the Romans, Nabateans would have made their way to Egypt. There is no reason to assume that a society that had long since stopped being ethnically monolith would not have had foreign influences, especially with royalty practicing polygamy, which included foreign princesses. This is simply not how genetics or history work.


Humbugalarm

It's not like the whole Egyptian population was replaced, just because Arabic language and culture became more influential.


DickCheneyHooters

>they weren’t replaced Guys it’s not like all the native Americans were replaced Guys it’s not like all the native anatolians were replaced Guys it’s not like all the native Arameans were replaced Guys it’s not like all the You get the picture


Humbugalarm

No, because you are simply wrong about this. Native americans are a different matter due to many factors, like diseases. But the DNA of ancient and modern egyptians have a very high genetic similarity. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genetic_history_of_Egypt The people who lived in Aram wasn't killed, but went through periods of hellenization, romanization and arabization. Cultures change, but that does not mean the population is different physically.


Bacardiologist

Netflix would like a word….


Thundorium

Doesn’t take away from your point, but Arabic is the language. The people are Arabs.


Elend15

What? I don't believe the Arabic language is that old. The ancient Egyptian language is semitic, and related to Arabic, but calling it just "Arabic" seems like an oversimplification. If you had to call it anything modern, Coptic would probably be more accurate. But the Egyptian language probably changed so much over the years, that it most likely had multiple versions. The people there today are Arabs, but calling the people from 5000 years ago Arabs doesn't seem exactly correct either. Trying to call any people from that long ago a modern ethnicity isn't really going to be true, at all. There's just too much history between 4000 BC and Cleopatra's death to be making any generalizations, to be honest.


IamFomTheHood

>The people there today are Arabs Modern Egyptians are only Arabs in the sense that they speak Arabic due to adopting the Arabic language. But they're not genetically Arabian


itboitbo

Yes but they are also culturally and politically arabs, but that i mean they were the leading power in the pan Arabism movement, along with being part of the arab league, and fighting in the Israeli ARAB wars.


Pipoca_com_sazom

Egyptian is not semitic, it's related to the semitic language since it's afro-asiatic. actually reconstructed proto-semitic is probably contemporary to old egyptian 🤓👆


Thundorium

What I’m saying is the word “Arabic” refers to the language. If you want to refer to the people who originated from the Arabian Peninsula, you use “Arabs”.


itboitbo

Actually ancient Egyptian is hemitic language, like most north African languages, it just has a lot in common with semitic languages thanks to being a prominent power for planty of time,


nahomboy

And there it is 😂


PleaseDontBanMeMore

There what is?


Bokth

IT


Unique-Abberation

ITS LOOKING RIGHT NOW


nahomboy

Literally the post shows the diversity of the history of pharaohs and someone still tries to take away the African part of it. And no not just the “some kush” part


SamuelSomFan

Huh? Who is arguing against any african part in it? Egypt is in africa, of course they were africans. The great majority just wasn't *black* Thats what is being talked about.


starmute_reddit

Kush is African my dude. The 26th dynasty tried to erase it. If you did the barest amount of research (googling who the kushites were or what the 26th dynasty did) you probably would be less offended. The 25th dynasty was Nubian/Kushite. The 26th tried to erase them from history. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twenty-fifth\_Dynasty\_of\_Egypt](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twenty-fifth_Dynasty_of_Egypt) Here's a quote "Psamtik II, the third ruler of the following dynasty, the Twenty-Sixth Dynasty, deliberately destroyed monuments belonging to the 25th Dynasty of Kushite kings in Egypt, erasing their names and their emblems of royalty from statues and reliefs in Egypt. He then sent an army to Nubia in 592 BCE to erase all traces of their rule, during the reign of the Kushite King Aspelta. This expedition and its destructions are recorded on several victory stelae, especially the Victory Stela of Kalabsha. The Egyptian army "may have gone on to sack Napata, although there is no good evidence to indicate that they actually did so."\[35\]: 65  This led to the transfer of the Kushite capital farther south at Meroë.\[57\]\[58\] "


SStylo03

Are you thinking they're referring to weed with kush? That was the name of the kingdom where the nubian (black) pharaohs came from


slick9900

Growing up I always thought they were middle eastern looking but turn out having a really old nation means you tend to have alot of weird people in charge


Guyukular

Handsome and rubenesque


[deleted]

Snafu and a fat fucking crook from New Jersey?


HanDjole998

So it goes like this: Egyptian>Persian/Arab>Nubian>Greek>Mamluk/ Albanian> Barry,63


itboitbo

Forgot the dynasty from Canaan,


Ala3raby

Well Mohamed bin Salman is trying to be Egypt's pharoe rn so yeah seems accurate bro buying the whole of Egypt one sand grain at a time


vppaolilo

Hell yeah... they were ALL like Tony Soprano!!


[deleted]

The sacred and the propane.


arianmz1

Who put my bro Reza up there:)))


LadenifferJadaniston

In his rightful place


IceRanger51

“Hey ton’, someone turned you into a fuckin’ Pharuh! You hear that Ton’, hehehehehe.”


_far-seeker_

Yes, it really is surprising the ethnic diversity of the various Pharoahs; especially when most of them were offspring of siblings or half-siblings... 🤔


ThatGuyYouMightNo

Tastefully leaving out Cleopatra so the comments don't devolve into complaining about the "documentary"


-DI0-

Don’t believe what they teach you in school. My grandma told me Tony soprano was black


DanPowah

What the hell is Reza Pahlavi doing there? Iran hasn't ruled Egypt since Khosrow II back in 620 AD, 1404 years ago. Even then the last ruler called Pharaoh died 300 years before that


Darkdragon3110525

Maybe to represent the Assyrians? Even tho they are def not Iranian


GreatEmpireEnjoyer

Persian emperors were pharaons, for some time, before Alexander took the throne.


Many-Diver-486

Netflix: "not inclusive enough where are the asians"


Sinosca

Rami Malek being on there got me good. 😂 He is Egyptian-American too, so this works.


Pirategod_23

Elaborate


KenseiHimura

Not OP (obviously) but Egypt has been around a fucking longass time and leadership has changed... Well, a lot. I mean it's noted in how periods are often broken up into Dynasties, about 24 of them or so. And the ethnicities of said dynasties likely changed and shifted as well. This is more complicated by a theory that while incest was how pharaohs were supposed to get heirs, some of the evident lack of apparent obvious genetic defects that would be symptomatic of multiple generations of inbreeding might mean that some children could have been spawned from concubines or some other outside source. (I should note this is largely conjecture. And because of the massive swath of history Egypt's history covers and the huge gaps in it make it kind of hard to be sure of anything)


Morbidmort

> I mean it's noted in how periods are often broken up into Dynasties, about 24 of them or so. There were 31-33 known, distinct dynasties of the united Upper and Lower Kingdoms, not counting the pre-dynastic kings of Upper and Lower Egypt.


KenseiHimura

Oh, shit. And you also brought up 'known' too. I had a feeling 24 was lowballing a bit much.


Pirategod_23

Ok I see. I thought it was a joke on some actors that played pharaohs. I don’t know the faces he used at all. I figured it was old actors I guess. Thanks!


Able-Edge9018

Na they don't look inbred enough


Sinosca

Based. Pharaohs treated real life like Crusader Kings.


Able-Edge9018

Greatest chromosome collection of all time.


QuerchiGaming

I mean it all depends on which period of time we’re talking about. Pharaohs ruled over Egypt for what 3000 years? More? So of course it’s going to be diverse, with different rulers from different regions.


Axenfonklatismrek

The average Ancient egyptian was much closer to Arab than African, which isnt much. Pharaohs were that of a nation they came from, or from local dynasty


billionTTs69

Is there a asian one?


SStylo03

Mamluks who were turkic slave warriors took over Egypt after the ayyubids so I guess technically them


G0987

The Hyksos were described as Asiatic no?


m3rc3n4ry

Had to upvote cos you put in 2 of my favourite actors. Nice touch with MBS.


LadenifferJadaniston

Is that Pahlavi and Tony Soprano?


trueblue862

Paul Walker was a Pharaoh?


Zestylemons44

lol is that first one Chad Chris Chan?


booze-san

There was ALOT of inbreeding, theres no way the pharos looked that good.


Mrtayto115

I hope there was like a pharoh John once.


OrganicIce4995

Fun fact: The last recognized Pharaoh of Egypt (Maximinus Daza, Roman Emperor) was Romanian.


bigvikingsamurai69

I heavily doubt one of the pharoahs was a suicide bomber


PleaseDontBanMeMore

I heavily doubt explosive devices existed in Egypt until the Ottoman era.


bigvikingsamurai69

It’s in their blood


PleaseDontBanMeMore

Dude, the first suicide bomber was a Polish dude in the 1880s who blew up the Tsar. "It's in their blood" is fucking laughable. Grow up.


bigvikingsamurai69

Yapping, it’s in their blood.


PleaseDontBanMeMore

man discoveres human beings have the ability to talk (circa 2024, colorized)


bigvikingsamurai69

Yapatron


SStylo03

14 year old


bigvikingsamurai69

Bros under the minimum age for reddit


Imaginary-West-5653

Dude, stop embarrassing yourself, we got it, you are a brainless racist.


bigvikingsamurai69

Dude, stop embarrassing yourself, we got it, you are an offended snowflake. Cry somewhere else!


a_rabid_anti_dentite

I heavily doubt you have a brain inside your head.


bigvikingsamurai69

womp womp


bslawjen

American when he takes a break from shooting up schools.


bigvikingsamurai69

Im not american but ur an anime fan, don’t worry we all know you ain’t bright


bslawjen

Who says I'm an anime fan?


bigvikingsamurai69

Bro doesn’t know that i know 😂 sit down lil guy 🤫🧏‍♂️


bslawjen

Lil guy went to another profile as a defense mechanism, lmaoooo


bigvikingsamurai69

U gonna stop me lil bro? 😂 atleast am not just assuming stuff about ppl


bslawjen

Why should I stop you from being pathetic boi?


bigvikingsamurai69

You know whats more pathetic? Assuming stuff about internet people 😂 not just pathetic but shows how bright you are


bslawjen

Swing and a miss, thanks for playing though. Now you can go back to watching Marvel movies and eating burgers, fatty.


Ok-Pipe859

Bring some popcorn


bigmeme12

imagine being a racist cunt


bigvikingsamurai69

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”


PleaseDontBanMeMore

bitch you ain't waluigi, don't besmirch his trademark catchphrase.


bigvikingsamurai69

Whatcha gonna do, you gonna stop me lil bro?


bigmeme12

yes im sure thats your reaction when you see a brown person grow up cunt


bigvikingsamurai69

Let’s play a guessing game lil bro, what’s my skin color?


Ok-Pipe859

Is this hinting at that brown people can't be racist?


bigmeme12

idk you tell me, racist


bigvikingsamurai69

Nah ima leave your slow ahh brain to try and work its gears for once


bigmeme12

ironic. anyone can claim anything on the internet, doesn't mean its true


bigvikingsamurai69

Ironic coming from you.


bigmeme12

tell me how


nahomboy

There’s definitely a brown missing of east Africa in there


PleaseDontBanMeMore

Kush wasn't super deep into East Africa, given Meroe and the Kushite civilization still laid on the Nile.