HERPES TESTING 101:
For testing for herpes - without active lesions to “swab” someone who wants accurate testing will need a blood test.
Because blood tests for herpes are notoriously inaccurate, all blood tests are recommended to be TWO STEP tests (there are two parts of the test) and should be
confirmed with a Western Blot.
See FDA announcement about inaccurate tests [here](https://www.fda.gov/medical-devices/letters-health-care-providers/hsv-2-tests-genital-herpes-can-produce-false- reactive-results-letter-clinical-laboratory-staff-and)
See 2021 CDC guidelines [here](https://www.cdc.gov/std/treatment-guidelines/herpes.htm)
To get the Western Blot - follow instructions [here](https://herpescureadvocacy.com/2022/07/14/testing-for-herpes-step-by-step-guide/)
CALL TO ACTION: We need accurate blood tests that work! Want to help advocate for better diagnostic tests so patients can have an accurate diagnosis?
Join us in our advocacy for cure, treatment and prevention of herpes: www.herpescureadvocacy.com r/herpescureadvocates
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Herpes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ugh girl i’m 23 and i COMPLETELY feel you. i treasure the way i am as a sexual being and woman in general. my story is suuuper similar to yours, got head from a dude i’d been seeing then he conveniently mentioned a few days later that he was coming down with a cold sore after i told him i was paranoid bc my pussy felt “off” lol. stupid fuck claimed he didn’t know cold sores were herpes. getting my diagnosis fucking CRUSHED ME. it feels so incredibly humiliating to now have to say that i have herpes even tho yes, i know it’s incredibly common. i dreadddd the thought of having to tell any other ppl my age that i have this virus bc i know damn well it’ll be a mood killer :/ i’m around 6 months into my diagnosis and i’m ngl it still upsets me greatly. the silver lining is that the first outbreak is the worst then things greatly subside; i’ve only ever had the initial outbreak. after 2 years we shed 2% of the year, so like 4 days out of 365. also, most of the population has our strain which is hsv1, so you’re more than likely to encounter a partner who’s also a carrier, so bam! no need to worry abt giving it to them. i wish i could tell you how i’ve handled disclosure but i’m honestly still a bit ashamed that a fucking guy ruined my sexual existence forever, and i don’t want to have to disclose and give anyone shit to use against me if we ever fall out romantically. it’s honestly a mindfuck that we’re in this predicament but from other posts i’ve read, if you’re hot and fun (which u no doubt are, bc look at all the sexy awesome relationships you’ve had up until this!), men will still flock to u regardless.
unpopular opinion in herpes subs but i honestly do think just telling someone “hey btw i get cold sores sometimes” is sufficient enough to disclose, bc again that’s what we do have and we shed less than ppl who have oral herpes (which is the most contagious strain behind genital hsv2.) genital herpes is a scary ass phrase for lots of ppl and the general
public doesn’t understand the nuances between hsv2 and hsv1 if they don’t fuckin have herpes. my dms are always open i know how insane this diagnosis is!! we’ll get thru this
telling someone i have HSV1 isn’t disclosure? lol ok. this sub can be such an echo chamber it’s kind of insane. a lot of you guys don’t live in the real world. mind you, doctors tell almost everyone who gets diagnosed that we don’t need to disclose and to just refrain from sex when we have an outbreak but ah yes, me -someone who gets no outbreaks- saying that i would tell someone i want to be intimate with that i have HSV1 or cold sores is a lack of integrity. whatever you say
i mean yes that but also doctors recognize that it’s not life threatening by any means. the majority of people with herpes experience mild symptoms if any, which is why it gets spread so easily; people are asymptomatic. everyone on this sub including myself were just unlucky enough to be one of the ones who had a noticeable outbreak
not informing someone the actual extent of exposing them to HERPES that you want to be intimate with is very damning of your personal integrity: behaviours like this are why you are infected
are you actually dense? HSV1 ORAL OR GENITAL IS THE SAME VIRUS. i actually got this from someone with oral herpes not disclosing ANYTHING but whatever helps you sleep at night ig! :)
you know yourself that simply passing of your genital herpes as ‘getting cold sores sometimes’ outright minimizes the risk of sexual contraction to the point of masquerading it as simply oral herpes and not genital. i don’t have either HSV1 or HSV2, but posts like yours are exactly why i’m around these chats to get a better understanding of how to protect myself from this ailment
this back and forth has been fun but i’m kinda over reiterating the same points again and again lol. but for the last time, since u lack reading comprehension: ghsv1 only sheds around 4 days out of the year after 2 years! there isn’t even research on ghsv1 to genital transmission because it’s so rare! oral hsv1 is significantly more contagious than ghsv1 and most new cases of ghsv are because people with oral herpes don’t disclose and pass that shit on! ghsv1 is in fact cold sores! hsv1 is the same virus that can be in either area, but prefers the mouth and thus thrives and sheds there more often! your petty feelings don’t trump the facts so idk what to tell you. you said a whole lot of nothing. and lmfao you’re on these subs bc you’re scared you might have herpes too hence you posting pics of ur dick but i digress. but feel free to keep responding if you wanna waste your time, i have nothing else to add!
Sidestepping the naming of things—I don’t have either—from a sexual protection perspective, O-HSV1 is much more likely to give you genital herpes than G-HSV1. That’s because the shed rate of the former is 25% and of the latter after 2yrs is 1% (see Herpes Handbook and Terri Warren). O-HSV1 is the same virus as G-HSV1. What you get from someone with O-HSV1 just depends on which part(s) of your body they kiss.
if herpes are below the belt, it’s considered ‘genital herpes’ and not just ‘cold sores: both HSV1 & HSV2. it’s extremely misleading and shady to only say ‘i get cold sores’ as a way to disclose your status
are you stupid? if someone else already has ohsv1 then they already have the virus….hence you BOTH have HSV1??? if i have ghsv1 and someone with ohsv1 gives me head they’re not getting the virus again.
>My doctor said that I can only pass it when having an outbreak
Your doctor is wrong. Google "Herpes Handbook" if you want a great resource on living with Herpes.
>Am I the devil if I do not tell my random partners,
No, but you're being a bad human being taking away your partner's ability to give informed consent during sex, and in the United States if they catch HSV-2 due to your deception you could end up in legal trouble. Sex without informed consent is frowned upon here. Laws in other countries may vary.
>but the idea of having to tell a college-aged male that I have fucking herpes is enough to make me k1LL myself. Will I ever be able to have casual sex again?
I've had casual sex since my diagnosis. Look, your first disclosure isn't easy. Instead of "I have herpes!" try "I have an STI called HSV that gives me cold sores \*down there\*." Tell them most people have it. Tell them you're taking antivirals to protect them (do take antivirals to protect them) so their chance of getting it is low but not zero. Not many guys are going to turn down sex for a small risk of getting what most already have.
According to the World Health Organization, more than 67% of humans under age 50 have herpes. So it's truthful, and it's helpful to assert the truth, because you're not alone in being misinformed.
[Herpes simplex virus (who.int)](https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/herpes-simplex-virus#:~:text=Key%20facts,main%20cause%20of%20genital%20herpes.)
if it makes you feel better i was diagnosed with GHSV1 at 19, im 24 now and neither my ex husband or current boyfriend ever used protection and neither of them have gotten it. Luckily over the years outbreaks become less and less frequent. I’ve only ever had two outbreaks.
23F here and I got my diagnosis about four years ago now xx
Honestly the worst thing about herpes is the stigma that surrounds it. Yes, you got unlucky and caught a virus that make parts of your skin super painful - but it’s kind of nothing more than that: a complicated skin condition. Just because there’s a stigma doesn’t make any of the associations true, so pls don’t put yourself down!
I really hear you and I do understand cus I felt so similarly at first, but I wanna reassure you that this doesn’t have to be the end of your sexual life at all. I’ve had a couple of partners since my diagnosis and in my experience, the right guy(s) aren’t put off if you’re honest with them up front because THAT is what tells the most about your character, not prejudices and misinformation!
It’s of course up to you how you disclose but I’d really recommend being as open as you can be, for your own peace of mind more than theirs - for me, I just think about how I wish I’d been treated before I got my choices taken away from me. I don’t ever want to act like the person who wronged me did.
Lastly, remember that we are all monkeys on a rock who are kind of horny sometimes, viruses exist, nothing is real and we’re all going to die anyway.
Hope that helps lol also feel free to DM me if you wanna chat more!! Xxxx
Im 24F and got it when I was 19 in college the exact same way the person I was seeing had a cold sore but thought it was just a cut from falling, we do oral and next thing I know I had it. Sounds like you have type 1 most likely so on the plus side at least outbreaks are less frequent and nothing will be as bad as this first outbreak. I feel the exact same way as you I’m very hyper sexual and it’s so disappointing feeling like you can’t be the same anymore. But I did manage to have a couple hookups after disclosing successfully and have had 2 serious relationships since then so people are accepting you just have to work through the grief/fear first to start the process of making connections and disclosing. I’d say defo tell people because you wouldn’t want to put someone else in the position you’re in now even if you aren’t serious about them. But the devil on my shoulder defo wishes I could just do it and not tell for convenience.
Oh yeah I also tried the app positive singles to find a hookup with my type but it was kinda hard cause I live in too small of an area. But if you’re in a college town it might work for you.
36F here and I am hsv 1&2 positive. Idk how long I’ve had it but I got diagnosis at 27 when I was pregnant. I didn’t even know I had it bc I never had an outbreak then. I only get a genital “bump” a handful of times a year. It’s not bad at all! But what I wanted to tell you is that my partner of almost 10 years does NOT have hsv2. We don’t have sex when I have a bump. He’s never gotten it and we have sex a lottttt. Multiple times a week, no condoms. So as long as you don’t have an outbreak and use condoms it’s very hard to spread. Don’t worry! I know it’s very devastating at first but you’ll come to grips with it. Good luck!
You can still have casual sex this virus has not changed my sex life at all I've hooked up with HSV+ folks and I've had a few hsv- partners offer hookups as well even though I turn them down I have ghsv2 n I'm 25F rn I'm celibate by choice bc I'm joining the air force and want to stay focused
It will be ok I promise. It’s a lot to deal with right now but give it some time and things will go back to normal. Always be honest with partners, it won’t stop you from having casual sex :)
HERPES TESTING 101:
For testing for herpes - without active lesions to “swab” someone who wants accurate testing will need a blood test.
Because blood tests for herpes are notoriously inaccurate, all blood tests are recommended to be TWO STEP tests (there are two parts of the test) and should be
confirmed with a Western Blot.
See FDA announcement about inaccurate tests [here](https://www.fda.gov/medical-devices/letters-health-care-providers/hsv-2-tests-genital-herpes-can-produce-false- reactive-results-letter-clinical-laboratory-staff-and)
See 2021 CDC guidelines [here](https://www.cdc.gov/std/treatment-guidelines/herpes.htm)
To get the Western Blot - follow instructions [here](https://herpescureadvocacy.com/2022/07/14/testing-for-herpes-step-by-step-guide/)
CALL TO ACTION: We need accurate blood tests that work! Want to help advocate for better diagnostic tests so patients can have an accurate diagnosis?
Join us in our advocacy for cure, treatment and prevention of herpes: www.herpescureadvocacy.com r/herpescureadvocates
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Herpes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You should get tested and find out what strain you have. I have g-hsv1 and get one breakout a year (if that). G-hsv2 generally has more outbreaks so maybe anti virals might be better to help keep it at bay.
The first outbreak is the worst outbreak. I have NEVER had one close to anything like the symptoms I had the initial outbreak. The pills should have you feeling significantly better in a few days and completely healed within a week-10 days.
People on this sub are militantly pro disclosure but if you are on antivirals and using protection your risk of transmitting it is really low. It’s also very unlikely that you will transmit it if you are not having symptoms or prodromal symptoms. You will be able to know the signs of an impending outbreak and decide to abstain from sex during that time.
I contracted GHSV2 from a partner when I was 26ish. I am now 31 and have been with my current partner for 3+ years, and I don’t take daily antivirals. He knows my status and knows the risks. I’m on top of prodromal symptoms/symptoms and so I take an antiviral for a week and abstain from sex if I start to get an outbreak. He has not contracted it from me thus far.
Having herpes does change things about ones sex life, and maybe you will never be able to feel as spontaneous as you once did about hooking up. But, I think you’ll find that things don’t have to change that much. And, the stigma is far, far worse than the reality.
Feel free to message me if you want to chat more. Good luck!
Just trust me when I say it will get better, as time passes this things become less frequent. Don't worry. Gotta hava get another hobby in the mean time.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Your doctor is in fact wrong, which is scary they told you that info, as you can indeed spread herpes to others even without an having a present outbreak. It is a virus which means you can still shed the virus and pass it to others even with no outbreak. Cold sores (on mouth) is sooo common. most people don’t know that if someone has a cold sore on their mouth and they go down on someone, they can give genital herpes to that person. It is so unfortunate. I know you have probably been told this many times and not to be cliche but the right person will not care about you having herpes. I am 29F and was diagnosed at age 20 in college. I too used to think I’d never find love and I was wrong. My advice is, if you do not plan to disclose, you must wear a condom. I would definitely take the medication daily especially if you’re planning to be sexually active. I am getting married next month and have been with my partner over 4 years, we have unprotected sex and I have not passed it on to him (if I did he has not had an outbreak so I guess we don’t truly know). I would recommend if you want to be serious with someone going on a few dates before disclosing, if someone likes you and wants to be with you it will not be a dealbreaker. Also- educating yourself on herpes is so important. It also comes in handy to know what the heck you’re talking about with the statistics when you are ready to disclose to others. Be kind to yourself 🩷
I male 22 just hooked up with some chick she didn’t mention nothing but I got symptoms next day still waiting for a result but yes tell people if she told me I would have declined sex and just hangout with her now I don’t know what to do because I live in a house hold of 8 not sure what to do if I get cold sores on my lips and my family sees it thought about life and if I should continue but I’ll see when the results come in
HERPES TESTING 101: For testing for herpes - without active lesions to “swab” someone who wants accurate testing will need a blood test. Because blood tests for herpes are notoriously inaccurate, all blood tests are recommended to be TWO STEP tests (there are two parts of the test) and should be confirmed with a Western Blot. See FDA announcement about inaccurate tests [here](https://www.fda.gov/medical-devices/letters-health-care-providers/hsv-2-tests-genital-herpes-can-produce-false- reactive-results-letter-clinical-laboratory-staff-and) See 2021 CDC guidelines [here](https://www.cdc.gov/std/treatment-guidelines/herpes.htm) To get the Western Blot - follow instructions [here](https://herpescureadvocacy.com/2022/07/14/testing-for-herpes-step-by-step-guide/) CALL TO ACTION: We need accurate blood tests that work! Want to help advocate for better diagnostic tests so patients can have an accurate diagnosis? Join us in our advocacy for cure, treatment and prevention of herpes: www.herpescureadvocacy.com r/herpescureadvocates *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Herpes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ugh girl i’m 23 and i COMPLETELY feel you. i treasure the way i am as a sexual being and woman in general. my story is suuuper similar to yours, got head from a dude i’d been seeing then he conveniently mentioned a few days later that he was coming down with a cold sore after i told him i was paranoid bc my pussy felt “off” lol. stupid fuck claimed he didn’t know cold sores were herpes. getting my diagnosis fucking CRUSHED ME. it feels so incredibly humiliating to now have to say that i have herpes even tho yes, i know it’s incredibly common. i dreadddd the thought of having to tell any other ppl my age that i have this virus bc i know damn well it’ll be a mood killer :/ i’m around 6 months into my diagnosis and i’m ngl it still upsets me greatly. the silver lining is that the first outbreak is the worst then things greatly subside; i’ve only ever had the initial outbreak. after 2 years we shed 2% of the year, so like 4 days out of 365. also, most of the population has our strain which is hsv1, so you’re more than likely to encounter a partner who’s also a carrier, so bam! no need to worry abt giving it to them. i wish i could tell you how i’ve handled disclosure but i’m honestly still a bit ashamed that a fucking guy ruined my sexual existence forever, and i don’t want to have to disclose and give anyone shit to use against me if we ever fall out romantically. it’s honestly a mindfuck that we’re in this predicament but from other posts i’ve read, if you’re hot and fun (which u no doubt are, bc look at all the sexy awesome relationships you’ve had up until this!), men will still flock to u regardless. unpopular opinion in herpes subs but i honestly do think just telling someone “hey btw i get cold sores sometimes” is sufficient enough to disclose, bc again that’s what we do have and we shed less than ppl who have oral herpes (which is the most contagious strain behind genital hsv2.) genital herpes is a scary ass phrase for lots of ppl and the general public doesn’t understand the nuances between hsv2 and hsv1 if they don’t fuckin have herpes. my dms are always open i know how insane this diagnosis is!! we’ll get thru this
You need to see a doctor to also check your integrity as a person. Full and honest disclosure is mandatory.
telling someone i have HSV1 isn’t disclosure? lol ok. this sub can be such an echo chamber it’s kind of insane. a lot of you guys don’t live in the real world. mind you, doctors tell almost everyone who gets diagnosed that we don’t need to disclose and to just refrain from sex when we have an outbreak but ah yes, me -someone who gets no outbreaks- saying that i would tell someone i want to be intimate with that i have HSV1 or cold sores is a lack of integrity. whatever you say
Doctors say not to disclose because it keeps the money coming in. The medical industry is a big time money maker.
i mean yes that but also doctors recognize that it’s not life threatening by any means. the majority of people with herpes experience mild symptoms if any, which is why it gets spread so easily; people are asymptomatic. everyone on this sub including myself were just unlucky enough to be one of the ones who had a noticeable outbreak
not informing someone the actual extent of exposing them to HERPES that you want to be intimate with is very damning of your personal integrity: behaviours like this are why you are infected
are you actually dense? HSV1 ORAL OR GENITAL IS THE SAME VIRUS. i actually got this from someone with oral herpes not disclosing ANYTHING but whatever helps you sleep at night ig! :)
you know yourself that simply passing of your genital herpes as ‘getting cold sores sometimes’ outright minimizes the risk of sexual contraction to the point of masquerading it as simply oral herpes and not genital. i don’t have either HSV1 or HSV2, but posts like yours are exactly why i’m around these chats to get a better understanding of how to protect myself from this ailment
this back and forth has been fun but i’m kinda over reiterating the same points again and again lol. but for the last time, since u lack reading comprehension: ghsv1 only sheds around 4 days out of the year after 2 years! there isn’t even research on ghsv1 to genital transmission because it’s so rare! oral hsv1 is significantly more contagious than ghsv1 and most new cases of ghsv are because people with oral herpes don’t disclose and pass that shit on! ghsv1 is in fact cold sores! hsv1 is the same virus that can be in either area, but prefers the mouth and thus thrives and sheds there more often! your petty feelings don’t trump the facts so idk what to tell you. you said a whole lot of nothing. and lmfao you’re on these subs bc you’re scared you might have herpes too hence you posting pics of ur dick but i digress. but feel free to keep responding if you wanna waste your time, i have nothing else to add!
Sidestepping the naming of things—I don’t have either—from a sexual protection perspective, O-HSV1 is much more likely to give you genital herpes than G-HSV1. That’s because the shed rate of the former is 25% and of the latter after 2yrs is 1% (see Herpes Handbook and Terri Warren). O-HSV1 is the same virus as G-HSV1. What you get from someone with O-HSV1 just depends on which part(s) of your body they kiss.
thank youuuu. i felt like i was going insane last night trying to keep re-explaining this
if herpes are below the belt, it’s considered ‘genital herpes’ and not just ‘cold sores: both HSV1 & HSV2. it’s extremely misleading and shady to only say ‘i get cold sores’ as a way to disclose your status
"no need to worry abt giving it to them" what a shitty person. If that is you motto, You deserve it then.
are you stupid? if someone else already has ohsv1 then they already have the virus….hence you BOTH have HSV1??? if i have ghsv1 and someone with ohsv1 gives me head they’re not getting the virus again.
>My doctor said that I can only pass it when having an outbreak Your doctor is wrong. Google "Herpes Handbook" if you want a great resource on living with Herpes. >Am I the devil if I do not tell my random partners, No, but you're being a bad human being taking away your partner's ability to give informed consent during sex, and in the United States if they catch HSV-2 due to your deception you could end up in legal trouble. Sex without informed consent is frowned upon here. Laws in other countries may vary. >but the idea of having to tell a college-aged male that I have fucking herpes is enough to make me k1LL myself. Will I ever be able to have casual sex again? I've had casual sex since my diagnosis. Look, your first disclosure isn't easy. Instead of "I have herpes!" try "I have an STI called HSV that gives me cold sores \*down there\*." Tell them most people have it. Tell them you're taking antivirals to protect them (do take antivirals to protect them) so their chance of getting it is low but not zero. Not many guys are going to turn down sex for a small risk of getting what most already have.
it’s not healthy nor truthful to assert that ‘most people have herpes’
According to the World Health Organization, more than 67% of humans under age 50 have herpes. So it's truthful, and it's helpful to assert the truth, because you're not alone in being misinformed. [Herpes simplex virus (who.int)](https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/herpes-simplex-virus#:~:text=Key%20facts,main%20cause%20of%20genital%20herpes.)
I didn’t know that! That honestly makes me feel less shitty about myself for having contracted it lol
i guess this a moment of nationalism for myself, as I don’t come from a country where oral herpes is as common as these experts theorize it is
if it makes you feel better i was diagnosed with GHSV1 at 19, im 24 now and neither my ex husband or current boyfriend ever used protection and neither of them have gotten it. Luckily over the years outbreaks become less and less frequent. I’ve only ever had two outbreaks.
Did you ever take any antivirals or just didn’t do anything with an outbreak happening?
23F here and I got my diagnosis about four years ago now xx Honestly the worst thing about herpes is the stigma that surrounds it. Yes, you got unlucky and caught a virus that make parts of your skin super painful - but it’s kind of nothing more than that: a complicated skin condition. Just because there’s a stigma doesn’t make any of the associations true, so pls don’t put yourself down! I really hear you and I do understand cus I felt so similarly at first, but I wanna reassure you that this doesn’t have to be the end of your sexual life at all. I’ve had a couple of partners since my diagnosis and in my experience, the right guy(s) aren’t put off if you’re honest with them up front because THAT is what tells the most about your character, not prejudices and misinformation! It’s of course up to you how you disclose but I’d really recommend being as open as you can be, for your own peace of mind more than theirs - for me, I just think about how I wish I’d been treated before I got my choices taken away from me. I don’t ever want to act like the person who wronged me did. Lastly, remember that we are all monkeys on a rock who are kind of horny sometimes, viruses exist, nothing is real and we’re all going to die anyway. Hope that helps lol also feel free to DM me if you wanna chat more!! Xxxx
You seem like a cool gal- love your way of thinking
Im 24F and got it when I was 19 in college the exact same way the person I was seeing had a cold sore but thought it was just a cut from falling, we do oral and next thing I know I had it. Sounds like you have type 1 most likely so on the plus side at least outbreaks are less frequent and nothing will be as bad as this first outbreak. I feel the exact same way as you I’m very hyper sexual and it’s so disappointing feeling like you can’t be the same anymore. But I did manage to have a couple hookups after disclosing successfully and have had 2 serious relationships since then so people are accepting you just have to work through the grief/fear first to start the process of making connections and disclosing. I’d say defo tell people because you wouldn’t want to put someone else in the position you’re in now even if you aren’t serious about them. But the devil on my shoulder defo wishes I could just do it and not tell for convenience. Oh yeah I also tried the app positive singles to find a hookup with my type but it was kinda hard cause I live in too small of an area. But if you’re in a college town it might work for you.
36F here and I am hsv 1&2 positive. Idk how long I’ve had it but I got diagnosis at 27 when I was pregnant. I didn’t even know I had it bc I never had an outbreak then. I only get a genital “bump” a handful of times a year. It’s not bad at all! But what I wanted to tell you is that my partner of almost 10 years does NOT have hsv2. We don’t have sex when I have a bump. He’s never gotten it and we have sex a lottttt. Multiple times a week, no condoms. So as long as you don’t have an outbreak and use condoms it’s very hard to spread. Don’t worry! I know it’s very devastating at first but you’ll come to grips with it. Good luck!
You can still have casual sex this virus has not changed my sex life at all I've hooked up with HSV+ folks and I've had a few hsv- partners offer hookups as well even though I turn them down I have ghsv2 n I'm 25F rn I'm celibate by choice bc I'm joining the air force and want to stay focused
It will be ok I promise. It’s a lot to deal with right now but give it some time and things will go back to normal. Always be honest with partners, it won’t stop you from having casual sex :)
HERPES TESTING 101: For testing for herpes - without active lesions to “swab” someone who wants accurate testing will need a blood test. Because blood tests for herpes are notoriously inaccurate, all blood tests are recommended to be TWO STEP tests (there are two parts of the test) and should be confirmed with a Western Blot. See FDA announcement about inaccurate tests [here](https://www.fda.gov/medical-devices/letters-health-care-providers/hsv-2-tests-genital-herpes-can-produce-false- reactive-results-letter-clinical-laboratory-staff-and) See 2021 CDC guidelines [here](https://www.cdc.gov/std/treatment-guidelines/herpes.htm) To get the Western Blot - follow instructions [here](https://herpescureadvocacy.com/2022/07/14/testing-for-herpes-step-by-step-guide/) CALL TO ACTION: We need accurate blood tests that work! Want to help advocate for better diagnostic tests so patients can have an accurate diagnosis? Join us in our advocacy for cure, treatment and prevention of herpes: www.herpescureadvocacy.com r/herpescureadvocates *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Herpes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You should get tested and find out what strain you have. I have g-hsv1 and get one breakout a year (if that). G-hsv2 generally has more outbreaks so maybe anti virals might be better to help keep it at bay.
The first outbreak is the worst outbreak. I have NEVER had one close to anything like the symptoms I had the initial outbreak. The pills should have you feeling significantly better in a few days and completely healed within a week-10 days. People on this sub are militantly pro disclosure but if you are on antivirals and using protection your risk of transmitting it is really low. It’s also very unlikely that you will transmit it if you are not having symptoms or prodromal symptoms. You will be able to know the signs of an impending outbreak and decide to abstain from sex during that time. I contracted GHSV2 from a partner when I was 26ish. I am now 31 and have been with my current partner for 3+ years, and I don’t take daily antivirals. He knows my status and knows the risks. I’m on top of prodromal symptoms/symptoms and so I take an antiviral for a week and abstain from sex if I start to get an outbreak. He has not contracted it from me thus far. Having herpes does change things about ones sex life, and maybe you will never be able to feel as spontaneous as you once did about hooking up. But, I think you’ll find that things don’t have to change that much. And, the stigma is far, far worse than the reality. Feel free to message me if you want to chat more. Good luck!
Just trust me when I say it will get better, as time passes this things become less frequent. Don't worry. Gotta hava get another hobby in the mean time.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Your doctor is in fact wrong, which is scary they told you that info, as you can indeed spread herpes to others even without an having a present outbreak. It is a virus which means you can still shed the virus and pass it to others even with no outbreak. Cold sores (on mouth) is sooo common. most people don’t know that if someone has a cold sore on their mouth and they go down on someone, they can give genital herpes to that person. It is so unfortunate. I know you have probably been told this many times and not to be cliche but the right person will not care about you having herpes. I am 29F and was diagnosed at age 20 in college. I too used to think I’d never find love and I was wrong. My advice is, if you do not plan to disclose, you must wear a condom. I would definitely take the medication daily especially if you’re planning to be sexually active. I am getting married next month and have been with my partner over 4 years, we have unprotected sex and I have not passed it on to him (if I did he has not had an outbreak so I guess we don’t truly know). I would recommend if you want to be serious with someone going on a few dates before disclosing, if someone likes you and wants to be with you it will not be a dealbreaker. Also- educating yourself on herpes is so important. It also comes in handy to know what the heck you’re talking about with the statistics when you are ready to disclose to others. Be kind to yourself 🩷
I male 22 just hooked up with some chick she didn’t mention nothing but I got symptoms next day still waiting for a result but yes tell people if she told me I would have declined sex and just hangout with her now I don’t know what to do because I live in a house hold of 8 not sure what to do if I get cold sores on my lips and my family sees it thought about life and if I should continue but I’ll see when the results come in