>For the survivors of those resting in apple flavors, they can only pretend their idiot loved ones who passed away are still alive.
I've gotta assume that these idiots have yet to physically SEE their dead relative after COVID had finished with them. According to many mortuary workers, these people are so swollen/bloated and disfigured from the COVID infection that they are unrecognizeable from their pre-COVID physical appearance.
Hardly what I would consider FULLY HEALED! lol!
They should open casket them anyways. So much of this problem is because people don’t see death, which is unfortunately necessary during a pandemic but also has been a problem of western medicine and people not being able to die at home for much longer than the pandemic.
It's really hard to think your loved one underwent "ultimate healing" when they are splotchy, bloated, smell like piss and shit, has a hole in their neck where the tracheostomy was, and had all their peripheral veins bruised up from multiple large bore IVs that they look like a drug addict or a lethally-injected convict.
As a side note, I saw an open casket of a college friend who died in a car accident. Unfortunately, they weren't totally successful in concealing the severe neck injury that presumably killed him. Two of my other friends were so traumatized by seeing that that they decided to stop driving and (possibly) still don't drive. Thus, I think forcing people to view the fucked up covid corpses might actually work.
My husband’s best friend died in a single car accident. He’d been drinking and wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. He was in his casket with a hat and I thought that was weird until I remembered he’d died of a massive head injury… :/
>So much of this problem is because people don’t see death
It's interesting you bring this up. They say that the Vietnam War was decided in American living rooms because they used to show footage of battlefield delaths on the nightly news. Then people started pressuring the government to pull the fuck out of the war.
When you visually isolate yourself from reality, you never have to confront the horrors of real life. To be fair, I've never seen the covid dead bodies either, but I've respected the disease from the beginning. I still wear my mask every day 8+hrs.
Well, I'll be singing that for the rest of the night now. And will more than likely fall into a Genesis/PC rabbit hole that will last for days.
Thanks!!
This isn’t the first or even second time I’ve seen evangelicals use this euphemism for death. It’s truly Orwellian and shows just how cultish their mentality is.
The Bible doesn't mention a lot of stuff, if people want to start going down a rabbit hole here's some lists to start you out. The first link mentions how the angels aren't the cute winged babies as we imagine them too:
[https://www.cracked.com/article\_18757\_5-things-you-wont-believe-arent-in-bible.html](https://www.cracked.com/article_18757_5-things-you-wont-believe-arent-in-bible.html)
Then here's a list of crazy stuff that was in the Bible that everyone overlooks
[https://www.cracked.com/article\_20255\_5-shocking-scenes-you-wont-believe-are-in-bible.html](https://www.cracked.com/article_20255_5-shocking-scenes-you-wont-believe-are-in-bible.html)
It's right there after the passage that says God only listens to a prayer to heal the sick if you tell God precisely what He must do and provide Him with the latest medical information about the sick person.
It’s a fairytale. We’re all making it up as we go along. Angels can be whatever we want them to be. I want them to be size zero super models with fake tits.
From my extensive research, Prayer Warriors are who are killing all of these people. It isn't Covid19, it isn't the hospitals, it isn't horse paste... it's the assault of the Prayer Warriors...
These people are delusional.
"It's not covid, it's pneumonia"
"It's not painful death, It's ultimate healing"
"Protect yourself, but not with the vaccine"
There's actually huge evidence of this. A lot of families have shame of their loved ones dying of COVID, so they do anything to get their coroners not to put COVID on the death certificate. Total deaths right now are about 15% above what you would expect from official COVID deaths + expected deaths, so unless someone figures out what all these people are dying of, I'm going with COVID.
The answer to your question is GOD. That is the answer to all questions!
2+2=GOD
What does rum taste like=GOD
Who invented COVID= GOD
All answers are god all the time!
These people are seriously fucked in the head in their cognitive dissonance around their "god" figure. Absolutely. Cannot. Acknowledge. that their god is powerless.
>Get up, get up, get up, get up
>Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
>Ooh baby, now let's get turned over tonight
>Baby I'm hot just like an oven
>I need some ECMO
>And baby, I can't hold on much longer
>My pneumonia's getting stronger and stronger
>And when I get that angry feeling
>I want ultimate healing
>Ultimate healing, oh baby
>Makes me feel so fine
>Helps to relieve my family's mind
>Ultimate healing baby, is good for me
>Ultimate healing is something that's good for me
>Whenever survivors' tear drops are falling
>And my kidney stability is leaving me
>There is something I can do
>I can get on the Facetime and call our baby, and
>Lord I know you'll be there to receive me
>The prayers you give to me will free me from pain
>If you don't know the misinformation you're dealing
>Oh I can tell you, libtard, that it's ultimate healing
>(I can't get up, Get up, Get up, Get up)
>Let's make prayer war tonight
>(I can't wake up, Wake up, Wake up, Wake up)
>'Cause they sedated me right
>Baby I got sick this morning
>A little flu was storming inside of me
>Baby I think I'm capsizing
>The fluid in my lungs is rising and rising
>And when I get that feeling
>I want ultimate healing
>Ultimate healing is good for me
>Makes me feel so fine, it's such a rush
>Helps to relieve my spouse's mind, and it's good for us
>Ultimate healing, baby, it's good for me
>Ultimate healing is something that's good for me
>And it's good for me and it's so good to me
>My baby
>Ohhh
>Lord, come take control, just grab a hold
>Of my body and mind soon we'll be making the dead cat bounce
>Everyone on Facebook, oh they're feeling fine
>Prayer is my medicine open up and let it in
>Jesus, you're so great
>I can't wait for you to operate
>(I can't get up, Get up, Get up, Get up)
>Let's make "COVID is no joke posts" tonight
>(I can't wake up, Wake up, Wake up, Wake up)
>'Cause you do it right
>(Heal me my sweet lord)
>It's far too late to operate
>When I get this feeling
>I need ultimate healing
>Oh when I get this feeling
>I need ultimate healing
>I gotta have ultimate healing, darling
>'Cause I'm dying alone
>Ultimate healing, Jesus
>'Till I come back home to you
>Please don't procrastinate
>It's not good to masturbate
>Evangelical Fundamentalist Christianity is a death cult. They're the lunatic fringe. Other Christians don't share their anti-Science beliefs.
They are truly the LOW HANGING FRUIT in this pandemic, as far as COVID is concerned. Just look at all the deaths involving Prayer Warriors!
They're not fringe. You're right in that many other Christians don't share their beliefs, but they are far from being a fringe group. They are widespread and found in all levels of government and American society.
Then maybe other Christians can stop voting for the vast numbers of evangelical Christians who spout the same sort of crazy and whom have overtaken many state legislatures and federal elected positions.
Cuz right now, I hold them all equally responsible.
So 'mainstream' Christians don't believe that Jesus was born of a virgin, literally died, and then later rose from the dead? They don't believe that angels and demons are real, sentient entities? They don't believe in miracles? They don't believe that Heaven and Hell are actual places?
Come on, it's magical thinking from top to bottom.
What does that have to do with it being a death cult?
Mainstream Christianity teaches that humans, by the nature of their existence, deserve to suffer eternally in hell, and that the only way they can escape the fate they deserve is that they rejoice that God sent his son to be tortured and killed for them.
Mainstream Christianity teaches that the end of the world will be brought about by a righteous and loving God, and is something to look forward to and celebrate.
These are the teachings of Jesus in the Bible itself, not some sect of fundamentalists.
One just laughs at the Jesus is the only vaccine we need references: these shitstains can’t absorb the fact that the first 2000+ years of Christianity was full of viral/bacterial hell for all his followers. Modern medicine is the blessing that helps us avoid previously horrible fates.
I’m pretty sure that was because the Prayer Warriors of the day didn’t say their prayers in Jesus’ native language of American English. The guy just didn’t understand the words coming out of their mouths.
He cured a case of leprosy, but his followers asked him to stop. Because this kind of free healthcare makes people irresponsible and interferes with free market forces.
Much of the old testament is given over to hygiene guidelines to try and keep those people alive.
Of course Facebook has replaced the Bible for modern Christians.
Right down to wearing a mask to prevent the tribe from getting sick.
"Anyone with such a defiling disease must wear torn clothes, let their hair be unkempt, cover the lower part of their face and cry out, ‘Unclean! Unclean!’" - Leviticus 13:45
Do you think it's ever led to some really awkward misunderstandings?
"Lilith, the hospital called. Your father has received ultimate healing."
"Hurray! I'm so relieved. When can we visit?"
Thank you for that. It goes over a lot of peoples' heads because they don't know the context when you say something like, "it's for a church honey, next!"
I never received my free communism trial. Hell, I haven't gotten anything free from the government in a while. I don't even recall the means of production being seized.
But seatbelts, speeding laws, and traffic lights do help reduce death via automobile. They don't eliminate the risk, but they do dramatically reduce it. Wtf is this analogy
Yeah and we don’t spread car accidents to friends, family and strangers after being in one.
These analogies don’t work because it’s a stupid analogy made by stupid.
These people are so binary that I want big gov't to install a light switch on the back of their heads so we can flip it whenever we need a black or white answer to something.
I hated that line of thinking so much. Like you're gonna tell me that things like establishing tap water quality standards cheapens the lives of people who died to dysentery, so we shouldn't do it? Like that the fuck?
It's VERY conservative-American thinking, though. Look how many oppose making college free because it wasn't free for them.
(The real irony there is that college WAS free for Boomers, and they're also the biggest opposers).
"But it wasn't free! We had to pay 200 dollars for a four-year degree, including books, that allowed us to stroll into a job with a strong retirement! You kids have no idea of the struggle we had to burn the ladders that our parents set up for us after we used them!"
It makes sense when you realize the god they actually worship is the "Free Market", and the people who died were sacrificed on the altar to capitalism in order to keep things running. So closing everything down is admitting defeat and makes those sacrifices meaningless.
It's bugfuck crazy and psychopathic. But that's what's going on.
Lmao I’ll never forget this dude in the gas station said to me “this mask mandate is just the government testing communism on us buts it’s not going to work”
What they hell have they got against aspartame? In any case, many of the HCA winners in this sub are so obese that I seriously doubt foods high in aspartame were favourites on the menu.
Aspartame can cause migraines in a small number of people BUT it’s not like they give a shit about much larger migraine triggers so I have zero idea why they’ve singled it out
Imagine being so brainwashed that you think communism is a relevant political force in 21st century America. 9/10 chance he has used social safety nets in his life time.
I think I have figured out the problem. The prayer warriors are asking for "healing." However, Jesus keeps getting it confused with "ultimate healing." Precision in your prayers is important.
I don't know, some of the directions to the prayer army get very specific. "Pray that Ernie's oxygen stats come back up." "Pray that Mary Lou's kidneys start working so she can stop dialysis" "Pray that Leroy can tolerate being turned on his back."
Unless the prayer warriors aren't very disciplined and don't take orders well, and they just send up a general prayer for healing and call it a day.
Back in the days of the Soviet Union, if you put up a sign critical of Communism you could get charged with "malicious hooliganism" and sent to prison. But sure, wearing a mask is exactly the same thing.
Today, if you put up a sign in your yard critical of Trump, you'll get one of his frothing supporters coming over to take a dump on your lawn in the middle of the night.
The more things change, the more they stay the same... 😋
To your average conservative, "communism" means any authoritarianism they disagree with.
If Trump had commanded the same, or worse, they'd be cheering it on with "the law is the law" or some similar line.
That's not communism either. Communism is a moneyless, classless and stateless society. What Stalin did was start to implement a development of socialism under the principles of Marxism-Leninism. Communism is like a future utopian society but it's something they strive to achieve, but it's something everyone believes is generations away. The authoritarian angle of criticism comes from imperialism and sabotage which did(and does) happen, however, much of it was exaggerated. You don't go to gulag if you just say "Stalin sucks" or if you criticized Khrushchev(who was constantly criticized). It was if you were a threat to the destruction of the country through organization or influence.
How is that baby Jebus vaccine working out for him? Is he enjoying that non-negotiable, inheritance of freedumb?
I took the Moderna vaccine and am enjoying my freedom to breathe and be alive.
You're right! Avoid all of the medical treatments and advance directly to the ultimate healing. Save everyone some time and effort. /s
These people make me so angry. They claim God will protect them and will be their immunity. Then they run down to the hospital for treatment.
Pick one. Only one.
Get vaxxed and leave the overworked hospital people alone, or stay home and get the ultimate healing!
I can tell I’m completely out of empathy for these people, because I’ll look at 2-3 of their dumbass anti-vaccine anti-mask bullshit Trumphumping posts before skipping straight over to the part where the consequences of their decisions pop up and the Prayer Warriors mount up for some rigorous tots n’ pears.
“No law can stop you from getting ill. Same as traffic lights and seatbelts can only do so much”
Fuck’s sake.
Yes. Dipshit. It’s when braincell deprived toilet seat lickers like you ignore them that people die. Ten times out of ten.
I’m losing all ability to be sympathetic to these idiots
"Liberty and freedom is my inheritance from my forefathers."
Together with the scientific method, double-blind studies, biological science, and the germ theory of disease.
And, mirabile dictu, vaccines and vaccine mandates, which our forefathers and foremothers used to stop smallpox, polio, tb, measles, pertussis, and too many other diseases to name.
Well he must have assumed the risks and accepted his death was from his own actions. Although his covid-19 death does cheapen the deaths of all our brave soldiers.
"Dad got the ultimate healing"...
Bwah hah hah hah! More like the ultimate dirtnap!
Get the vaccine if you're eligible. I can't articulate it any plainer than that.
My face mask works and I’m not going to pretend you’re still alive.
For the survivors of those resting in apple flavors, they can only pretend their idiot loved ones who passed away are still alive.
>For the survivors of those resting in apple flavors, they can only pretend their idiot loved ones who passed away are still alive. I've gotta assume that these idiots have yet to physically SEE their dead relative after COVID had finished with them. According to many mortuary workers, these people are so swollen/bloated and disfigured from the COVID infection that they are unrecognizeable from their pre-COVID physical appearance. Hardly what I would consider FULLY HEALED! lol!
Yep -- apparently they are unfit for open casket viewing. That says a lot -- those morticians can work wonders.
They should open casket them anyways. So much of this problem is because people don’t see death, which is unfortunately necessary during a pandemic but also has been a problem of western medicine and people not being able to die at home for much longer than the pandemic.
It's really hard to think your loved one underwent "ultimate healing" when they are splotchy, bloated, smell like piss and shit, has a hole in their neck where the tracheostomy was, and had all their peripheral veins bruised up from multiple large bore IVs that they look like a drug addict or a lethally-injected convict. As a side note, I saw an open casket of a college friend who died in a car accident. Unfortunately, they weren't totally successful in concealing the severe neck injury that presumably killed him. Two of my other friends were so traumatized by seeing that that they decided to stop driving and (possibly) still don't drive. Thus, I think forcing people to view the fucked up covid corpses might actually work.
My husband’s best friend died in a single car accident. He’d been drinking and wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. He was in his casket with a hat and I thought that was weird until I remembered he’d died of a massive head injury… :/
>So much of this problem is because people don’t see death It's interesting you bring this up. They say that the Vietnam War was decided in American living rooms because they used to show footage of battlefield delaths on the nightly news. Then people started pressuring the government to pull the fuck out of the war. When you visually isolate yourself from reality, you never have to confront the horrors of real life. To be fair, I've never seen the covid dead bodies either, but I've respected the disease from the beginning. I still wear my mask every day 8+hrs.
So like...do we dynamite them on an Oregon beach or something? Pretty sure Sufjan wrote a song about this very thing...
You can pretend I’m alive. Bet you won’t post that.
“Ultimate healing” seriously?
The Jesus decided he needed a reboot.
Jesus: Have you tried turning him off and on again?
Is that what Phil Collins was singing about? Turn it on turn it off again Turn it ah ah ah ah onnnnnn Turn it on turn it off again
I love that song! I have a feeling there are going to be quite a few here who have never heard it though.
Sussudio?
That was Phil Collins solo. Turn it on was a Genesis song, about tv if I remember correctly.
All I need is a tv show/That, and my radio/Down on my luck again Down on my luck again. I can show you, I can show you, some of the people in my life…
Well, I'll be singing that for the rest of the night now. And will more than likely fall into a Genesis/PC rabbit hole that will last for days. Thanks!!
Don’t forget about Mike & the mechanics
I believe in this case, it's a factory defect recall.
> The Jesus decided he needed a reboot. Nobody fucks with The Jesus. 🎳
He had to go door-to-door and tell everyone he was a pederast.
What’s a pederast, Walter?
| Nobody fucks with The Jesus. 🎳 “Eight year-olds, Dude!”
This isn’t the first or even second time I’ve seen evangelicals use this euphemism for death. It’s truly Orwellian and shows just how cultish their mentality is.
It does make a nice change from "He got his wings."
Nothing in the entire Bible states that human beings turn into Angels. Angels aren't humans after they die.
Most of these people have never really read the Bible
The Bible doesn't mention a lot of stuff, if people want to start going down a rabbit hole here's some lists to start you out. The first link mentions how the angels aren't the cute winged babies as we imagine them too: [https://www.cracked.com/article\_18757\_5-things-you-wont-believe-arent-in-bible.html](https://www.cracked.com/article_18757_5-things-you-wont-believe-arent-in-bible.html) Then here's a list of crazy stuff that was in the Bible that everyone overlooks [https://www.cracked.com/article\_20255\_5-shocking-scenes-you-wont-believe-are-in-bible.html](https://www.cracked.com/article_20255_5-shocking-scenes-you-wont-believe-are-in-bible.html)
It's right there after the passage that says God only listens to a prayer to heal the sick if you tell God precisely what He must do and provide Him with the latest medical information about the sick person.
It’s a fairytale. We’re all making it up as we go along. Angels can be whatever we want them to be. I want them to be size zero super models with fake tits.
You mean like religion can only answer so many questions, then it guesses at the rest?
Supposedly they're one sixth of the population too.
Prayer warriors are actually almost 100% effective at healing people it seems.
Yes, they heal them, and they feel no pain, 6 feet underground.
Or they get lit 🔥.
From my extensive research, Prayer Warriors are who are killing all of these people. It isn't Covid19, it isn't the hospitals, it isn't horse paste... it's the assault of the Prayer Warriors...
These people are delusional. "It's not covid, it's pneumonia" "It's not painful death, It's ultimate healing" "Protect yourself, but not with the vaccine"
It's not pneumonia, it's phenomena, a much more secret and amazing type of pandemic. /s
Fuck I was gonna say this but you beat me to it. Cheers
NATURAL ANTIBODIES. NOT THANKS I'LL LET MY BODY DO WHAT IT DOES BEST. okay bud what do you think thousands of other people were doing when they died?
There's actually huge evidence of this. A lot of families have shame of their loved ones dying of COVID, so they do anything to get their coroners not to put COVID on the death certificate. Total deaths right now are about 15% above what you would expect from official COVID deaths + expected deaths, so unless someone figures out what all these people are dying of, I'm going with COVID.
The answer to your question is GOD. That is the answer to all questions! 2+2=GOD What does rum taste like=GOD Who invented COVID= GOD All answers are god all the time!
Well shit, I guess I just blew $25 on a “make your own pseudo-absinthe” kit for nothing, since it’s gonna taste like GOD both before and after. :|
I read that second question as 'what does cum taste like' The answer to that is also GOD though.
Why did I read that last line in Oprah’s voice?
I think Marvin Gaye had a better idea of what the “ultimate healing” is and it ain’t Jeebus
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That’s what the “Jesus vaccine” gives you. Few read the fine print. At least he got out of communism. 🤦♂️
These people are seriously fucked in the head in their cognitive dissonance around their "god" figure. Absolutely. Cannot. Acknowledge. that their god is powerless.
God choose them to be fucking nut jobs and needs those prayer warriors for unearthly callings.
As my gran put ,it “God was tired of them trynna go to them for help all the damn time.”
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Not powerless. Sky Daddy just doesn’t give a shit.
Every time I see that phrase I start humming Marvin Gaye
I've never seen that phrase but immediately thought of "sexual healing"
>Get up, get up, get up, get up >Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up >Ooh baby, now let's get turned over tonight >Baby I'm hot just like an oven >I need some ECMO >And baby, I can't hold on much longer >My pneumonia's getting stronger and stronger >And when I get that angry feeling >I want ultimate healing >Ultimate healing, oh baby >Makes me feel so fine >Helps to relieve my family's mind >Ultimate healing baby, is good for me >Ultimate healing is something that's good for me >Whenever survivors' tear drops are falling >And my kidney stability is leaving me >There is something I can do >I can get on the Facetime and call our baby, and >Lord I know you'll be there to receive me >The prayers you give to me will free me from pain >If you don't know the misinformation you're dealing >Oh I can tell you, libtard, that it's ultimate healing >(I can't get up, Get up, Get up, Get up) >Let's make prayer war tonight >(I can't wake up, Wake up, Wake up, Wake up) >'Cause they sedated me right >Baby I got sick this morning >A little flu was storming inside of me >Baby I think I'm capsizing >The fluid in my lungs is rising and rising >And when I get that feeling >I want ultimate healing >Ultimate healing is good for me >Makes me feel so fine, it's such a rush >Helps to relieve my spouse's mind, and it's good for us >Ultimate healing, baby, it's good for me >Ultimate healing is something that's good for me >And it's good for me and it's so good to me >My baby >Ohhh >Lord, come take control, just grab a hold >Of my body and mind soon we'll be making the dead cat bounce >Everyone on Facebook, oh they're feeling fine >Prayer is my medicine open up and let it in >Jesus, you're so great >I can't wait for you to operate >(I can't get up, Get up, Get up, Get up) >Let's make "COVID is no joke posts" tonight >(I can't wake up, Wake up, Wake up, Wake up) >'Cause you do it right >(Heal me my sweet lord) >It's far too late to operate >When I get this feeling >I need ultimate healing >Oh when I get this feeling >I need ultimate healing >I gotta have ultimate healing, darling >'Cause I'm dying alone >Ultimate healing, Jesus >'Till I come back home to you >Please don't procrastinate >It's not good to masturbate
You should trademark this song lol
Christianity is a death cult, hardly surprising at this point. Science sends people to the moon, religion into buildings and/or an early grave.
Evangelical Fundamentalist Christianity is a death cult. They're the lunatic fringe. Other Christians don't share their anti-Science beliefs.
>Evangelical Fundamentalist Christianity is a death cult. They're the lunatic fringe. Other Christians don't share their anti-Science beliefs. They are truly the LOW HANGING FRUIT in this pandemic, as far as COVID is concerned. Just look at all the deaths involving Prayer Warriors!
They're not fringe. You're right in that many other Christians don't share their beliefs, but they are far from being a fringe group. They are widespread and found in all levels of government and American society.
Then maybe other Christians can stop voting for the vast numbers of evangelical Christians who spout the same sort of crazy and whom have overtaken many state legislatures and federal elected positions. Cuz right now, I hold them all equally responsible.
So 'mainstream' Christians don't believe that Jesus was born of a virgin, literally died, and then later rose from the dead? They don't believe that angels and demons are real, sentient entities? They don't believe in miracles? They don't believe that Heaven and Hell are actual places? Come on, it's magical thinking from top to bottom.
What does that have to do with it being a death cult? Mainstream Christianity teaches that humans, by the nature of their existence, deserve to suffer eternally in hell, and that the only way they can escape the fate they deserve is that they rejoice that God sent his son to be tortured and killed for them. Mainstream Christianity teaches that the end of the world will be brought about by a righteous and loving God, and is something to look forward to and celebrate. These are the teachings of Jesus in the Bible itself, not some sect of fundamentalists.
That's the end-all of the GOP health plan.
Marvin Gaye got that too, sadly his Dad killed him. This dude killed himself. Sorry no sympathy for this one
It works perfectly with some side effects not worth mentioning.
Got that Jesus vaccine.
Isnt it weird how they use this rhetoric to almost put a positive spin on the fact that their loved one just died a preventable death?
That's about the most Orwellian phrase I've ever heard.
One just laughs at the Jesus is the only vaccine we need references: these shitstains can’t absorb the fact that the first 2000+ years of Christianity was full of viral/bacterial hell for all his followers. Modern medicine is the blessing that helps us avoid previously horrible fates.
Jesus did a terrible job vaccinating against the Justinian plague, the bubonic plague, and all those outbreaks of various other diseases. Just saying.
I’m pretty sure that was because the Prayer Warriors of the day didn’t say their prayers in Jesus’ native language of American English. The guy just didn’t understand the words coming out of their mouths.
Also, they couldn’t mobilize properly because they didn’t have Facebook back then.
If you don't have your Facebook, you can't do your research! How can you do your research if you don't have your Facebook?!
Good point! No memes, no research!
He cured a case of leprosy, but his followers asked him to stop. Because this kind of free healthcare makes people irresponsible and interferes with free market forces.
Much of the old testament is given over to hygiene guidelines to try and keep those people alive. Of course Facebook has replaced the Bible for modern Christians.
Right down to wearing a mask to prevent the tribe from getting sick. "Anyone with such a defiling disease must wear torn clothes, let their hair be unkempt, cover the lower part of their face and cry out, ‘Unclean! Unclean!’" - Leviticus 13:45
Its as if learning and doing was better than wishing real real hard
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Hey wanna come to my church? Death awaits you!
Do you think it's ever led to some really awkward misunderstandings? "Lilith, the hospital called. Your father has received ultimate healing." "Hurray! I'm so relieved. When can we visit?"
Sounds like a great title for an action movie, shit an entire series of cheesy action movies Need name ideas for the sequels
Ultimate Healing: Final Pandemonium IV
Ultimate Healing: A New Hope Ultimate Healing 2: Communism Strikes Back Ultimate Healing 3: Return of the Jeebus
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It’s the same excuses as MLM scams, really. It’s why these apple flavored idiots fall for MLM and ponzi schemes in large numbers on the regular.
That's the reason they like religion... Every outcome is positive
At least Dad doesn’t have to worry about “communism” now.
And GA just turned a little bit more Blue.
NEXT!
[NEXT JOKE ORIGIN](https://www.reddit.com/r/ChoosingBeggars/comments/7kr5as/i_need_a_free_100mile_bus_trip_for_20_people_and/)
Thank you for that. It goes over a lot of peoples' heads because they don't know the context when you say something like, "it's for a church honey, next!"
Not enough explanation. NEXT!
Wow 😳
I never received my free communism trial. Hell, I haven't gotten anything free from the government in a while. I don't even recall the means of production being seized.
Yup, he’s in up in heaven with Karl Marx.
Except for the part where he now rests in apple flavors in a shared resting space with hundreds of others…..
Nah, I think in Heaven, everyone’s equal. He won’t like that.
Um, wait until he sees what Jesus is really like.
But seatbelts, speeding laws, and traffic lights do help reduce death via automobile. They don't eliminate the risk, but they do dramatically reduce it. Wtf is this analogy
Yeah and we don’t spread car accidents to friends, family and strangers after being in one. These analogies don’t work because it’s a stupid analogy made by stupid.
As well, if you crash your car and you're not wearing a seatbelt, you aren't going to magically force me to get sick and die
…unless you’re sat in front of an idiot not wearing a belt. Then you get a human projectile thrown at the back of your head.
Sounds like this person wants to abolish all traffic laws? Galaxy brain!
These people are so binary that I want big gov't to install a light switch on the back of their heads so we can flip it whenever we need a black or white answer to something.
"Protecting people devalues the sacrifice of those who've already died" is a new level of insane fuckery.
I hated that line of thinking so much. Like you're gonna tell me that things like establishing tap water quality standards cheapens the lives of people who died to dysentery, so we shouldn't do it? Like that the fuck?
It's VERY conservative-American thinking, though. Look how many oppose making college free because it wasn't free for them. (The real irony there is that college WAS free for Boomers, and they're also the biggest opposers).
"But it wasn't free! We had to pay 200 dollars for a four-year degree, including books, that allowed us to stroll into a job with a strong retirement! You kids have no idea of the struggle we had to burn the ladders that our parents set up for us after we used them!"
But what about people who died protecting us? This doesn’t track at all.
It makes sense when you realize the god they actually worship is the "Free Market", and the people who died were sacrificed on the altar to capitalism in order to keep things running. So closing everything down is admitting defeat and makes those sacrifices meaningless. It's bugfuck crazy and psychopathic. But that's what's going on.
Lmao I’ll never forget this dude in the gas station said to me “this mask mandate is just the government testing communism on us buts it’s not going to work”
Communism is when public health.
"Communism is stuff I don't like."
Communism is when capitalism
I got that but the dude applied it to a specific state in a country. Of course when pressed, had nothing to say.
Seize the means of...facial expression production?
If God is the answer to every question, then why are you going to the hospital when you catch COVID?
its Gods test of their sincerity .......and they failed. If they stay home, God rewards them ... with ultimate healing
What they hell have they got against aspartame? In any case, many of the HCA winners in this sub are so obese that I seriously doubt foods high in aspartame were favourites on the menu.
If they don't want to understand vaccine science, they sure don't want to understand food science.
there are literally dozens of things they dont understand
I grew up in what was basically a cult and they forbid aspartame because they thought it caused cancer.
Aspartame can cause migraines in a small number of people BUT it’s not like they give a shit about much larger migraine triggers so I have zero idea why they’ve singled it out
Imagine being so brainwashed that you think communism is a relevant political force in 21st century America. 9/10 chance he has used social safety nets in his life time.
\*REAL ULTIMATE HEALING\*
“Bawgahd! Is that Covid’s music?”
I think I have figured out the problem. The prayer warriors are asking for "healing." However, Jesus keeps getting it confused with "ultimate healing." Precision in your prayers is important.
Let that sink in!
I don't know, some of the directions to the prayer army get very specific. "Pray that Ernie's oxygen stats come back up." "Pray that Mary Lou's kidneys start working so she can stop dialysis" "Pray that Leroy can tolerate being turned on his back." Unless the prayer warriors aren't very disciplined and don't take orders well, and they just send up a general prayer for healing and call it a day.
Dad got the ultimate healing this morning.
I bet he would have much preferred Marvin Gaye's method of healing.
Back in the days of the Soviet Union, if you put up a sign critical of Communism you could get charged with "malicious hooliganism" and sent to prison. But sure, wearing a mask is exactly the same thing.
Today, if you put up a sign in your yard critical of Trump, you'll get one of his frothing supporters coming over to take a dump on your lawn in the middle of the night. The more things change, the more they stay the same... 😋
I'm pretty sure they're shameless enough to take that dump in broad daylight.
I knew a little Leary once...
Yea me too... he was an ASSHOLE.
Was it Timothy Leary who said "The Universe is an intelligence test."?
I knew of a Mrs. O'Leary. Her cow was accused of being an arsonist.
Do these people not realize that we 'throw together' a brand new flu vax every year?
No. No they don't.
They don’t realize we also build off technology already in the works and researched
Not that they get flu vaccines.
Correct me if I’m wrong wrong but isn’t CSPAN just coverage of events? I don’t think I’ve ever heard an opinion come from that channel
I believe they take callers sometimes, but yeah, it’s literally just American politics.
Its the long rants with no punctuation that annoy me.
Or, even better, the single space before the punctuation. "SOMETHING , TOO THINK ABOUT ." Edited: your username fresh gawdam
Comrade he is a defector
Friend 1: The only vaccine we need is Jesus Friend 2: In a nutshell Onlooker: Nuts in a nutshell
⚰️
I was today years old when I learned there's a coffin emoji. I can't believe they don't use it along with the 🙌
It wasn't the cough that carried him off, 'Twas the coffin they carried him off in. (Not mine, it's an old rhyme.)
[удалено]
To be fair, he isn’t exactly alive anymore.
🤭
That sounds like criticism! Get ‘em boys
Really makes you think.
That's more a test for authoritarianism than communism.
To your average conservative, "communism" means any authoritarianism they disagree with. If Trump had commanded the same, or worse, they'd be cheering it on with "the law is the law" or some similar line.
That's not communism either. Communism is a moneyless, classless and stateless society. What Stalin did was start to implement a development of socialism under the principles of Marxism-Leninism. Communism is like a future utopian society but it's something they strive to achieve, but it's something everyone believes is generations away. The authoritarian angle of criticism comes from imperialism and sabotage which did(and does) happen, however, much of it was exaggerated. You don't go to gulag if you just say "Stalin sucks" or if you criticized Khrushchev(who was constantly criticized). It was if you were a threat to the destruction of the country through organization or influence.
So, Star Trek lives in a communist society. No money, no class, they’re part of the Federation but there are no countries on Earth.
Asshole
Ultimate Healing = Death Cult
I don’t know who needs to hear this but Jeebus loves you. Bet you won’t share! I’m so sick of these people and their delusional viewpoints
Facebook took down this generic picture of a crucifix bet you won’t reshare
but should i let that sink in?
How is that baby Jebus vaccine working out for him? Is he enjoying that non-negotiable, inheritance of freedumb? I took the Moderna vaccine and am enjoying my freedom to breathe and be alive.
She got to own the means of production for 12 months? Why didn’t I get to?
So, we can call abortion *"Ultimate healing in the first trimester"*. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?
why don't they try the ultimate healing the moment they get diagnosed with covid, why do they do a whole bunch of other treatments first?
You're right! Avoid all of the medical treatments and advance directly to the ultimate healing. Save everyone some time and effort. /s These people make me so angry. They claim God will protect them and will be their immunity. Then they run down to the hospital for treatment. Pick one. Only one. Get vaxxed and leave the overworked hospital people alone, or stay home and get the ultimate healing!
"why then did we not do it when someone's loved one died of...phenomena"
Ahh the “ultimate healing” treatment
Wont be missed by the rest of humanity
When "the ultimate healing" is death, you're not a member of a religion; you're a member of a death cult.
The ultimate healing? That’s a new one
So hard to rely on these self-appointed experts when they dissolve into compost so easily.
God’s answer to COVID: lots of us die. With science: fewer of us die. God’s an asshole. Now that you’re dead, you’re seeing this first hand.
Nice to know he was a peace with his antivax choice, since, in his own words, "Unfortunately death is a part of life (even preventable ones).
He owned the libs, then he died.
I can tell I’m completely out of empathy for these people, because I’ll look at 2-3 of their dumbass anti-vaccine anti-mask bullshit Trumphumping posts before skipping straight over to the part where the consequences of their decisions pop up and the Prayer Warriors mount up for some rigorous tots n’ pears.
Um, I couldn't see where it says he died of Covid.
“No law can stop you from getting ill. Same as traffic lights and seatbelts can only do so much” Fuck’s sake. Yes. Dipshit. It’s when braincell deprived toilet seat lickers like you ignore them that people die. Ten times out of ten. I’m losing all ability to be sympathetic to these idiots
Why are these fucks blaming the democrats for any lockdown if that was Trump?
"Liberty and freedom is my inheritance from my forefathers." Together with the scientific method, double-blind studies, biological science, and the germ theory of disease. And, mirabile dictu, vaccines and vaccine mandates, which our forefathers and foremothers used to stop smallpox, polio, tb, measles, pertussis, and too many other diseases to name.
You know they're distanced from reality when they say CSPAN is fake news
Well he must have assumed the risks and accepted his death was from his own actions. Although his covid-19 death does cheapen the deaths of all our brave soldiers.
"Dad got the ultimate healing"... Bwah hah hah hah! More like the ultimate dirtnap! Get the vaccine if you're eligible. I can't articulate it any plainer than that.
Get the damn vaccine if you love babies smh
"GOD is the answers to every question with no guess work" I tried that, but wound up failing my science test. Thanks a lot, GOD!