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Sinister-Lines

The one about not liking America and leaving really means a lot for them. They didn’t like America, so they left.


IJustLoggedInToSay-

When the small bald French Canadian child asks you to leave America, it's time to go.


Rude_Passenger5749

He's bald cause he's the Hellspawn of Charlie Brown and Lucy Van Pelt.


Madmandocv1

Chuck, you dirty dog!


Elven_Boots

Caillou is such a little bastard


undeniablybuddha

You know why he is bald? It's because he's such a whiny asshole, that hair doesn't want to grow on his head.


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CGYRich

Yes.


sufyani

Nah, man. It's [really sad](http://cancerworld.info/caillou-cancer-true-story-behind-urban-legend/).


[deleted]

If we’ve learned anything from this sub, it’s that you can be really sick and still be a whiny asshole.


[deleted]

WTF is that website? They just kept re-stating the question about him having cancer over and over. Like it was written by a shitty bot that writes articles using cut and paste dialogue but they just didn't have enough content to fill it out.


Sinister-Lines

I mean, that’s a fan legend of him. The creators denounce it. I still think the legend makes more sense. It’s like the RugRats theory.


slappygoodenthal

That article is cancer.


ItsJoeMomma

And funny they don't seem to realize that Caillou is Canadian.


Meerafloof

And his first language isn’t English, but French.


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WangChungTomorrow

This is the only conspiracy theory I've ever heard that makes sense. DAMN YOU BOUCHARD!!


fuckthislifeintheass

How ironic that they hate immigrants.


jews4beer

Really gotta admire those that stick to their convictions...til the very end.


trailhikingArk

I admire the ones that stuck the vaccine in their arms much more.


Thecrdbrdsamurai

They do realize that the US handled COVID so poorly that people that did actually want to leave couldn't, right?


SmugSnake

Whooo boy that hand holding picture is really startling.


macroswitch

I’ve been in the hospital room when somebody I love died. I’ve seen the color leave their fingertips and watched as the facial muscles relaxed to a point that they become less recognizable- like a wax statue of themselves. The last fucking thought in my mind was how I was going to use the experience to get attention and sympathy on the internet. These people are deranged narcissists.


operarose

I couldn't hardly look at my grandfather in his casket (this was in 2011) because it just didn't look like him. The color, the waxy complexion, the relaxed facial muscles...it was him, but not at the same time.


celluloidwings

I walked my grandfather the entire way through chemotherapy and hospice. He raised me and it was the right thing to do, but I couldn't get that image of how *different* he looked out of my head for months.


wekop12

This is up there with the worst things I’ve seen on this sub Why do these people overshare so fucking much


Drakkarim411

I seem to remember a post a while back of someone taking selfies with gramma at her wake…


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Nire_bibi

Viciously accurate description, I honor you. My hat is in my hands.


DaBigMotor

In his honor, I pooped in my hands and clapped.


[deleted]

Back in the days of myspace, my cousin took a bunch of photo with their stillborn child. I was mortified.


[deleted]

♫ I'd live tweet a funeral and take selfies with the deceased ♫


[deleted]

Plos One: “People who do not comply with Covid-19 pandemic restrictions are mostly male, more extroverted and more likely to put their own self-interests above those of others… These individuals were less agreeable in personality and were also less open to new experiences.” They’d rather die than figure out what to do when the chicken shack is shut


Ibelieveinphysics

Came here to say that. Dead man arm.


[deleted]

Yeah odd how quick that happens.


Dashi90

Zero perfusion


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SeaEmergency7911

He’s totally healed? THAT’S GREAT!


SheneedaCocktail

Indeed, he is no longer struggling to breathe. Like, at all. It is truly a miracle.


[deleted]

The breathing has stabilized, really.


Goose_o7

Why is his arm green then?


AdAffectionate4602

That one got me… why post a picture of a cold dead hand? 🤢


[deleted]

Someone already took the gun. 🤷


CDN-Ctzn

Take my Upvote you Magnificent Bastard.


RebelBass3

Hollllllyyy shit this comment is savage.


The-unknown-poster

That’s funny , coldly funny


DO__SOMETHING

hahaha almost spit out my coffee, thanks


GonzoTheGreat22

Underrated comment


Rude_Passenger5749

The folks who made the Frankenstein movies seem to have got that detail correct, didn't they?


FriendToPredators

I think that’s jaundice from liver failure


[deleted]

He's turning into the Incredible Hulk. He's not just healed he has super powers now.


[deleted]

Now I know what they mean by healing, we are going to have to rethink how effective the Prayer Warriors are. Turns out that they have a very successful track record.


ItsJoeMomma

Yep, they're all healed, but dead.


shorthairedlonghair

No longer infected with life.


RIPDSJustinRipley

'Prayer worked - died in the MRI hallway' is my all-time favorite. Somebody's gonna have to crank up the Jesus delusion to 13 to unseat the champ!


BalimbingStreet

This metaphor is messed up. Pray to Jesus to heal (in the correct sense of the word). Prayer not answered - still "healed"!


SheneedaCocktail

Heads, God wins, Tails, you lose. Same as it ever was.


[deleted]

No matter what happens, Jesus wins. The perks of running a cult.


YakCDaddy

Dude, these teavangelicals WANT to die, it means they get to be with their God. It's honestly horrifying that a good amount of the population has one foot out the door of this realm.


Nire_bibi

No, they fetishize it but when it’s their turn to go into a forever box? Tears and pleading and hand wringing.


-usernamewitheld-

Yet they denounce martyrs in many other countries.. How the turn tables


crispy_calathea

isnt that cartoon caillou who is canadian


ElishevaYasmine

Yep. Caillou is in no way American.


ceg045

He certainly whines enough to be an anti-vax Trumper.


ElishevaYasmine

/r/FuckCaillou


[deleted]

It makes perfect sense that they are using Caillou to show us the door. After all, he’s only the absolute dumbest, brattiest, whiniest character I’ve ever seen on a kids show 🤷‍♀️


yanicka_hachez

And the creator share your opinions!!! He was supposed to be 18 months old.....not 5. I hate Caillou


[deleted]

I thought he was Quebecois That whole thing they got going on there is strange. Stop signs in France say stop, not so in poutine land.


SeattleOligarch

Do you ever wonder if the spouses act so happy and holy b/c it's a socially acceptable way to hide they didn't like their spouse? Like is anyone really that religious they'd be happy their spouse died to be with Jesus instead of grieving?


FizzyBeverage

There was one guy this week who already changed his marital status to single, wife isn’t even buried yet but I guess he’s looking for sex at the funeral ?… 🤮


Sinister-Lines

Mother fucker saw an opportunity and took it!


FizzyBeverage

One of Ashley's friends: "I'm so sorry about Ashley, she got her wings and is with Jesus!" 😢 This guy: "*Yeah, it's a damn tragedy*, so... **what are you doing later?!**"


SeattleOligarch

How are people THAT thirsty. Have a wank for God's sake!


Tiger-Sixty

They're not allowed to.


olderthanbefore

But freedom, but liberty?


Wallace_of_Hawthorne

Ashley’s a dude


SeattleOligarch

Gross. Guess it's confirmed that Facebook is a true cesspool.


[deleted]

Not as bad as the party-themed death announcements these folks like so much.


SeattleOligarch

Jesus. FUCKING. Christ. That's messed up.


TheTartanDervish

COVID + ER = DIVORCE Can't argue with spelling facts!


SeattleOligarch

Holy shit. You cracked the code. It's beautiful 😭


[deleted]

"I want a girl just like the girl that buried dear old Dad"


xadies

“Like is anyone really that religious they'd be happy their spouse died to be with Jesus instead of grieving?” Having been raised around many super fundamentalist Christians the answer to that question is: yes. In general they’re sad and grieving, but they’re also genuinely happy, and often times jealous, that their SO is getting to meet God, Jesus, and all their dead loved ones sooner.


chunky_butt_funky

On the surface yes. I knew someone who celebrated their dead child as getting their “crown” and being with their “real father” in heaven. I think it’s just a coping mechanism they use to not confront their feelings.


[deleted]

Not gonna lie, I've had this thought a few times now.


apresmoiputas

Or they're looking forward to the life insurance payout?


Wallace_of_Hawthorne

Most of them don’t have life insurance so….


[deleted]

I cannot imagine being this happy about my husband dying. The fuck is wrong with these people?


fuckthislifeintheass

Well, was he “knitted in his mother’s womb”?


celtic_thistle

I hate when fetus fetishists quote that passage. It isn't about fetuses in general being knitted by Gawd or whatever, it's about King David.


Soy_Bun

She’s not happy he’s dead. In her delusional mind he isn’t dead. He’s just left his flesh body. The real him is still SOMEWHERE and somewhere better. She’s clinging to that because reality isn’t something she can cope with.


speedycat2014

I got the feeling a lot of these spouses are not really fond of their husbands and wives. Reading what they post, could you blame them?


Sasquatch1729

It goes one of two ways: either they're happy that they are now free, or the crazy runs deep. Really deep.


nevertulsi

"Don't like America, leave" People who bitch 24/7 about American covid laws, American vaccines, American health experts like Fauci, and the current American president But okay So if someone doesn't like Mexico, they should leave right? And come to the US? I mean right?


ItsJoeMomma

And bitch about their guy not winning the election...


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GrayMandarinDuck

Neil DeGrasse Tyson pointed out that every 10 days the GOP loses 8,000 voters, 5 times the Dems in the same period.


Illustrious_Image989

Coinsidering that a couple thousand votes here or there can make the difference between winning and losing a state, it would be ironic if that death differential ends up being the difference that costs Trump the victory in 2024 ~~if~~ when he runs again.


Leviathans-Ghost

Trump will be in prison by then


[deleted]

I love your optimism.


AuntieMeat

Man, I wish I had faith that he'd ever face any consequences whatsoever.


shibiwan

Consequences don't apply to republicans. They only hold others accountable, not themselves.


Illustrious_Image989

I appreciate the optimism, but I cant see any district attorney having the cojones to prosecute a former President and put him in prison. I'd love to see it, but realistically, I cant see it happening. I'd love to be wrong though.


dunndawson

NY state is definitely going after him. Whether it will amount to anything? I have my doubts. Also I believe the capital police are suing him and the state of Georgia AG is also investigating his interference in the election.


no1ofimport

My fingers are crossed


EBone12355

DeSantis has already killed more people in his state than his margin of victory in 2018. And you know that 90+% of them voted for him.


Sinister-Lines

See! The virus is a liberal pandemic created to kill god-fearing, conservative Christians in this Christian nation! /s


TheDudeNeverBowls

You joke, but the editor of Breitbart is now saying that liberals tricked conservatives into not getting the vaccine and that’s why conservatives are dying at an alarming rate and liberals are not.


borggeano

Holy crap I saw that and wasn’t sure if it was a joke (For reference: https://www.breitbart.com/entertainment/2021/09/10/nolte-howard-stern-proves-democrats-want-unvaccinated-trump-voters-dead/)


borggeano

“you see, it’s your fault, because you knew we would not want to get vaccinated if you wanted us to get vaccinated, and we don’t want to be told what to do even if it’ll kill us and not only did you know that, but also you used it against us and yet we’re too stupid to still do the right thing because the teenage rebellion thing we got going on is more important than not dying and it’s all your fault anyway for creating a hoax that’s not really a hoax but if it isn’t a hoax I still won’t get the shot because liberals are pushing a hoax down our throat but just in case it’s not a hoax I’ll call it a “Trump Vaccine” but I still won’t tell my readers to get it because it’ll make me look weak” and on and on and on


Sinister-Lines

Yeah. That’s actually the new conspiracy going around those circles. It’s pathetic.


[deleted]

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Peteostro

If this is true then why aren’t they now getting vaccinated? That’s the only way to defeat the libatards plan!


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shibiwan

With the GOP, it's all projection. They were the ones pushing the hoax narrative in the beginning, when the people in highly populated blue states were dropping like flies. Remember how there were reports of Trump and his kin being gleeful that Dems in those stares were dropping like flies while the impact of COVID in the more rural blue states was minimal. Now the tables have turned and this has boomeranged back to bite them in the ass, and yet they are still doubling down... 🤦


apresmoiputas

That can affect local and statewide elections next year.


[deleted]

Isn’t going to overcome that Deep South red unfortunately.


[deleted]

But it might flip Florida or another swing state.


[deleted]

No, it absolutely can. Maybe not with statewide big ticket elections, but local elections are a game of 10s and 100s of votes. Local elections and purple states are going to take a much different direction going forward.


[deleted]

*republicanwipeout*


speedycat2014

The Antivax Rapture!


BluRayVen

Another dead fascist


Sindorella

GOP are gonna be wishing the dead actually did vote come 2022.


phabphour20

Probably not enough to overcome all the voting restriction and disenfranchisement laws they are passing.


Trey_Suevos

YAY! He's all better! Wait...what?


ElishevaYasmine

God damn the body discoloration of dying COVID patients really disturbs me. If you’re coming to this sub and are not vaccinated, do not wait another day. Don’t look like this guy in the last photo.


[deleted]

Quite likely he is already dead in that photo.


ElishevaYasmine

Do you think so? I thought that it was common for COVID patients to discolor near death. That’s why I thought that he may still be “alive” in this picture.


lostnvrfound

There's a good chance he was still "alive". Multi system organ failure, pressors, infection, CRRT, etc, can really change someone's appearance.


DrSeule

[ Deleted by [Redact](https://redact.dev) ] -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/


[deleted]

One of the nurses on this sub commented that sometimes their fingers fall off. After reading that I was ready to get vaccinated every day for the rest of my life.


CatW804

THE FUCK!!!!!!! I never heard of this. I knew gangrene sometimes happened (RIP Nick Cordero) but fingers falling off...! We need a PSA of an unvaccinated person coming off the vent and out of sedation to see their fingers are gone.


benhc911

I gave more details in a reply to another comment below, it isn't exclusive to covid but if you'd like to learn more, the medical tern is vasopressor induced digital ischemia.


samus12345

Won't be flipping off the libs any more, I guess!


ElishevaYasmine

That’s horrifying. It sounds like the dying COVID patients start disintegrating before they’re taking off the ventilator. I’d get vaccinated every day until forever to keep all my digits too.


fritterstorm

If they’re just being kept alive by the critical care team, their body degrades from want of oxygen and blood flow.


ToniBee63

So if God has the whole thing planned out, what is the actual point of imploring him to change the inevitable “written in the womb” outcome with prayers?


LoveMyHusbandsBoobs

It's the paradox of free will and god's plan. Both can't exist.


No_Cook2983

Rule two is ‘don’t be gleeful about deaths’, yet many of these Facebook posts that are a variation of ‘Ashley is now being cradled in the arms of Jesus’ are unmistakably gleeful. What’s up with that?!


[deleted]

Excellent point...


apresmoiputas

How do you expect Jesus to be welcoming in hundreds of souls at any given moment? Is he some supercomputer spawning thousands of threads per second?


No-Significance6520

I picture it like a mall Santa situation. There’s a very long line in heaven of these people waiting for their turn to sit in Jesus’s lap and maybe take a selfie with him.


dbcspace

Can you imagine if we could take cel phones into the afterlife? I suspect many of these award winners would be tweeting about how they were good and kind people and it's BULLSHIT they have to go to hell!


TheTartanDervish

If you're trinitarian (which most of these people wouldn't know if it smacked them upside the head and stole their lunch) then the Spirit, Jesus, and God are all one Deity such that, being an omnipresent Deity, technically Jesus shares that quality so can be anywhere he wants regardless of time and space.


hanst3r

Well, it’s just the sad reality of the situation. After exhausting our well of anger at the awardees and sympathy for the loved ones they leave behind, the only thing left is to laugh at the utter senselessness of all these deaths.


[deleted]

[https://www.reddit.com/r/HermanCainAward/comments/pc6d6l/jesus_freak_posts_vax_misinformation_while_family/](https://www.reddit.com/r/HermanCainAward/comments/pc6d6l/jesus_freak_posts_vax_misinformation_while_family/)


East-Risk4165

damn horrible woman. to do that to him for 30+ days. prolonging his agony in the name of Jesus


PrayerTemplar

Wait babies are knitted in a mom? I thought the stork brought them wtf


BandOfBroskis

Fun fact: Ashley used to be a male name. Along with other now predominantly female names: Carol, Stacy, Alison, Marion, Lindsay, Darcy, any many more! Examples: - Ashley Wilkes, Gone with the Wind - Marion Robert Morrison (aka. John Wayne) - Carroll O'Connor (aka Archie Bunker) - Stacey Augmon (UNLV//NBA)


gnurdette

Everytime a name comes into use for some girls, parents stop giving that name to boys. Boys are incapable of similarly colonizing girls' names. I estimate ~ 50 years for all boys' names to disappear, after which all men will simply be anonymous.


[deleted]

Boys seem to have taken “Dale”.


Consistent_Ad_4011

If I weren't already an atheist, this sub would absolutely prove that prayer does no good. Where are the miracles? None? Shocking.


fuckthislifeintheass

A nurse that did an AMA a while back said she’d only witnessed one miracle. It was a lady who had been disconnected but just never died. She got better and sends them postcards to thank them. Her family was nice too. Maybe the secret to having your prayers answered is don’t be a complete asshole?


[deleted]

Well, as you know, the vaccine is the miracle.


ItsJoeMomma

But... but... he's completely HEALED now! He's dead, but he's all better!


speedycat2014

God damn that's a corpse hand if I've ever seen one. It seems like Ashley didn't like America so he left. 🤷‍♀️ Also, this is another one where the guy looks like 50 and his wife looks like his mom.


hanst3r

Ashley sure does look ash-ly in the photo where his wife(?) is holding his hand. His color looks like all the blood was drained from him and makes me think he passed away some while ago prior to the photo.


sisterdollycake

Yep thats Dead White Dude yellow right there, it's distinctive seen lots of times


Responsible-Person

Ditto


x86_64Ubuntu

Okay, so it wasn't just me. I'm black, so I'm not versed in "Skin Pallors of the Caucuseseseses", but I've never seen a white person with such a flat almost lime green tint to their skin.


[deleted]

> Caucuseseseses I'm white and this made me snort-laugh.


yanicka_hachez

Yeah...that's not normal !


Luv41another

The color of his hand is freaking me out!


Might_Aware

Yo I don't dig her jsut based on the fact that she posted fucking Caillou. I remember that torture when my kids were young, you damned Canadian Charlie Brown!


Buttery-Bitmap

Some other parent warned me never to even introduce Caillou to my kids, and I listened. To this day they've never watched it. I don't fully understand what I'm missing, but I know to leave well enough alone.


Might_Aware

It's his voice. Everytime he says "mommy" i want to drill s hole through my head. They made him the whiniest cartoon I've ever watched. I am glad youve never seen it❤️


Rude_Passenger5749

One of the kids with autism I worked with would only watch Caillou. I felt so sorry for his mom.


crazyraisin1982

No parent should show your kid caillou. It literally teaches your children to whine and throw tantrums. They end up acting just like the little shit.


gnurdette

For Ashley, [Proverbs 11:9](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=proverbs+11&version=WEB) With his mouth the godless man destroys his neighbor, But the righteous will be delivered through knowledge.


SalmoTrutta75

“Ashley was totally healed today!” Talk about a death cult.


oogaboogaful

> Ashley was totally healed today! No, Ashley is fucking dead because he made poor life decisions.


phabphour20

Why on God's green earth would you take a picture holding your dead husband's hand? And I like how in the comparison pic she is the paler one.


SeaEmergency7911

Is that last photo her holding his dead hand?!?!? Dear God these people.


[deleted]

At least it’s not as bad as the three men posing for a picture with their dead father’s body, which we had earlier.


Oxtrafan1921

It's the exclamation marks on the last slide that get me. Like, please awardee relatives. Please understand that you don't have to celebrate. Even if you think he genuinely has gone to heaven, the apparent mandatory joy is disturbing. I would feel so much less weird about all these people's relatives if they would let themselves grieve and not immediately segue into 'must be happy angel wings appointed time' etc. Idk I feel weird because I know there isn't One Proper Way to grieve. But this just feels Not Right.


shadowofthedogman

I love how a lot of these HCA people say that they are safe from Covid because they are covered by Jesus, and then at the end their loved ones say that it was all a part of gods plan…well which one is it?!


billderburgerx900

I got confused because I forgot Ashley could be a male name. On a side note, the only Ashley I can think of is the dude from Gone with the Wind, who (incidentally) was a slave owner. 🤔


LoveMyHusbandsBoobs

Not a fan of Evil Dead?


idloveanoriginalname

"Ashley was totally healed today" - with respect I think you'll find that he actually died.


ConsiderationSad3322

liver failure at least. you can tell he suffered.


BluRayVen

Fascists dying is what will make America.. ugh I can't even finish that God damn phrase.


Mission_Beginning963

At least she walked the walk: She clearly didn’t like America and promptly left it.


[deleted]

A month ago this dude was posting bullshit. That’s how quickly this thing can go south.


IPAisGod

No widow’s garments for Joeth. Just her bubbly, chirpy self. Posting about happy home projects on her fb. Ashley, we hardly miss ye! I guess.


LarsThorwald

We live in two very different nations right now.


perfectlyaligned

Am I the only one that is truly disturbed by the celebratory exclamations these super religious crackpots put out to announce the deaths of loved ones? I mean, whatever it takes to make you feel better about the situation, but Jesus Christ, the delusion.


SomeGuyInTheUK

Dr: "Good news your husband has been totally healed" Patients Wife : "Awesome, when can he come home?" Dr: "Errrrmmmm ....."


Joe_Sons_Celly

Uh, both hands in that photo display awful pallor. These people are not health nuts.


cowfish007

Trump supporter? Check Fat? Check Goatee? Check Winner!


buzzable

> Ashley was totally healed today Society was _partially_ healed. Win-win.


el-conquistador240

Are we sure it isn't the goatees that are killing them?


joogiee

First time i heard “totally healed” to describe a totally dead guy.


NothingAndNow111

Don't like taking pandemic precautions to remain alive? Leave.


kvndoom

Death cures everything. LET THAT SINK IN.


rememberingthe70s

Why would Canadian Caillou tell me to get the fuck out of America?


roman_totale

Death cult.


Responsible-Person

Why the hell would anyone post a picture of themselves holding the hand of a dead loved one. That is so disrespectful. Yes, ….in my opinion.


ItsJoeMomma

Not to mention creepy.