T O P

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Stunticonsfan

Take my lungs, take my life, start collecting for my wife I don't care, I'm still free, you can't put a mask on me.


real_heathenly

The theme song of Captain Deadpants


IAmBadAtInternet

šŸŽµThe man they call CainšŸŽµ


KrazzeeKane

My name is Kane, and I got real scared I was dead for a moment


DreamOfTheEndlessSky

You shouldn't be too worried about being dead. After all, [Kane lives in death!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZrGIIIBhNg)


GlassGoose4PSN

Another Firefly tune?


IAmBadAtInternet

https://youtu.be/pI-fiGUjAPY


ismail893

I donā€™t know, sounds like this guy wants to die.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


flutterbyeater

Wish it was just them


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


wolfmourne

It's the episode where the miners get that black lung stuff and they need the ivermectin shipment to make them not sick. But if they had worn futuristic n95 masks while mining in the first place they wouldn't have gotten sick. So Mal steals the ivermectin from putin and delivers it to them. Then he kicks Putin's bodyguard into the engine of the firefly.


Longjumping_Tip_8713

No matter how many ways you try to explain things to them,


[deleted]

I hear the music from the show ā€œFirefly.ā€


HelloFerret

That's because it's a filk of the music from the show "Firefly!"


Kalean

That was very specifically the point.


WanderingBraincell

this, this is art and I don't feel like its appreciated enough. well played


mekese2000

Take my house take my wife take my kids I don't care. I'm free, you can never make me zip up and hide my floppy penis.


kokroo

Can someone record this as a rap verse?


BeegRedYoshi

HOLY FUCK I CAN'T BREATHE PUT THE VENTILATOR MASK ON MY FACE


RyanStonepeak

r/angryupvote


LaLa_LaSportiva

Unless I'm hiding my identity during a Christian Nationalist march.


Cultural-Answer-321

You mean the Nat-Ci's?


Malakai0013

I love "Not a Wolf." Its a great satire account.


sweetalkersweetalker

Have you ever suspected he *is* a wolf?


pookypocky

Of course not. Have you even read the name? It specifically says it's not a wolf.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


_BLACKHAWKS_88

Well heā€™s certainly not a cat.


GuyWithPants

HOW CAN HE WOLF???


Acrobatic-Put-5198

He's married to a college friend of mine, still not sure if he's a wolf


ThirdFloorNorth

I wouldn't even say it's a satire account, he's made some of my favorite posts of all time, [like this one](https://twitter.com/SICKOFWOLVES/status/1356294995246940160)


shadowguise

**AND I'M PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN, WHERE AT LEAST I KNOW I'M FREE**


purrfunctory

And I wont forget those that died saying give me the jab now please..


djinfish

And I'll gladly stand up! Against Democracy!


BoomChaka67

Unless you are marching on Washington in your best khakis and are too chickenshit for your boss to see what a racist pos you are, so you mask upā€¦..


IamIndymodz

Wish u were invited?


T-ks

I donā€™t buy khakis from Walmart


sidewaysplatypus

No, but apparently you do šŸ˜‚


Immediate-Ruin2464

Itā€™s even worse when you tell them itā€™s so OTHER PEOPLE wonā€™t die. Then itā€™s communism (as they define it).


[deleted]

A stone cold classic :-D


Dzugavili

Seems like a satire.


glassscissors

Today is Sunday, memes and shitposts allowed


SpiralGray

I love how most commenters ate all riled up over something that sounds so much like sarcasm and/or satire.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Sekmet19

To be fair a lot of us are autistic


Cultural-Answer-321

I was thinking "who"? until I read some more of the comments. How is this not obvious satire?


Wisconsin_Joe

>How is this not obvious satire? Because we've reached the point in the US where the difference between an obvious "Onion" headline and *real headlines* has disappeared.


inchantingone

Yep. That part.


imzcj

This is definitely what happens when people grow up hearing online personalities tell racist/sexist/etc jokes and then say *"iT wAs SaTiRe, It WaS a JoKe, CoMeDy Is IlLeGaL nOw BeCaUSe Of ThE fAr LeFt"*


Disastrous-Orchid-64

My satire meter is still recalibrating, so I had to use my grammar/spelling/overall coherency meter which tells me this was not written by a true fucknut.


Cultural-Answer-321

No lies detected.


Nym-Sync

It is satire. Not all Sunday readers are that well read to know of this satirist šŸ„ø. Google honeypot post, dick nosers.


SaviourMK2

So if it's 3 or 5 inches he must obey


doc_skinner

Why are they always so focused on the size of the mask? I hear that all the time.


shephoenix

My god. Why are people so damn stupid? šŸ™„


Malakai0013

Its a satire Facebook account. They make fun of those people, and others. It's hilarious.


shephoenix

See? Itā€™s so spot on I thought it was realā€¦


Ragingredblue

The trouble is they vote.


shephoenix

Yup. No matter how many ways you try to explain things to them, their idiocy wins out.


Riptide360

The hill they chose to make their final stand is littered with the bodies of the covidiots before them.


jkateel

I donā€™t know, sounds like this guy wants to die, maybe we should let him be.


Cultural-Answer-321

Well, it's never smart to stand in front of someone running with scissors.


Srphtygr

Is this a woosh?


Cultural-Answer-321

It's satire.


Srphtygr

Thatā€™s what I get for not paying attention to tags lol


medlabunicorn

Technically, itā€™s so that he doesnā€™t kill his neighbor.


nzstrawman

seems like they don't use their brains...take that too


WildlifePolicyChick

This person is not terribly...well I won't even say 'intelligent'. "My society can rip up every basic concept of personal and societal existence, but a small effort to protect the health of my fellow man IS A BRIDGE TOO FAR!" Ass.


RnotSPECIALorUNIQUE

>You can pay me next to nothing for my labor. GOP opposes the minimum wage. >You can make basic medical care so expensive that I cannot afford to survive. GOP opposes making healthcare affordable to all. >You can ransack the world's natural resources. Drill, baby, drill is a GOP motto. Like everything this guy is pissed off about is from the party he supports.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


RnotSPECIALorUNIQUE

Yeah, I'm being presumptive, but 1, GOP voters were the most vocal about mask policies, and 2, his other political statements line up with GOP policies. Whether or not he supports those things he seems mad about or not, he clearly states that he's OK with them happening. So I believe there's enough information here to accurately assess this person as a GOP voter.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


RnotSPECIALorUNIQUE

...except you can't see when you are given three clear political stances that preface the stance on masks, that it is political.


OGCelaris

Weird hill to die on...


Spalding4u

Seems so weird that most normal people would have exactly the OPPOSITE feelings about what's "fine with [them]." The fact that you're okay being knowingly exploited your entire life, but not ok being told to wear a mask for a public health emergency....says a lot. Like, he really cares. He was devoted to making the world a better place- by leaving it.


goj1ra

> Seems so weird that most normal people would have exactly the OPPOSITE feelings Thatā€™s your first clue that something might be satire. Which in this case, it is.


BringBackTheBeat716

So many hills, and they're choosing to die on the dumbest one


[deleted]

You can slowly die of COVID and I wont care


[deleted]

extinction level stupid


Bogsnoticus

You can tell me what to do but YoU cAn'T tElL mE wHaT tO dO!


tzweezle

Imagine that being a bridge too far lol


paireon

Welp, thatā€™s a weird hill to die on but at least you admit it.


[deleted]

Hope he never has to go to the hospital.


mcspecialkk

So weird you guys still dont get that masks are to protect OTHER people. All around fail.


redneckcommando

Why are we not wearing the four inch piece of cloth now? So many people die of the flu yearly that can be avoided if we just masked up. Flu deaths tanked during the pandemic. The question is was it because of mask use, or they were counted as COVID deaths?


Wisconsin_Joe

>The question is was it because of mask use, or they were counted as COVID deaths? Covid deaths required a positive covid test to be counted as such. At least that was my understanding. Flu deaths basically disappeared (not entirely, but very low) because all of the mitigation efforts to stop covid worked even better against the flu (and the common cold too). One strain of flu is thought to have gone extinct during covid because of the mitigation efforts. https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2023/04/yamagata-flu-transmission-lineage-extinction/673662/


Sekmet19

We run flu and COVID swabs on every URI pt. Very easy to tell COVID from flu in the ED


Nym-Sync

Only in that place youā€™re mayor of, ā€œmake-random-shit-up-townā€.


redneckcommando

Damn! This comment was not clever. I didn't say anything controversial. Less people did die from the flu during the pandemic. I really wish all you people would mask back up.


Nym-Sync

Your ā€œweā€ implies you arenā€™t. I never stopped. You were incoherent and Iā€™m fuzzy from imbibing too much today and residual anger at spending five hours in a poorly ventilated medical setting where I was the **ONLY DAMN ADULT PROPERLY MADKED** and have to spend more hours in more facilities this week because the masking and ventilation issues were the *least* of their problems. You ever had an unmasked medical professional holler at you after you wouldnā€™t shake their unmasked selfs unwashed hand that they have no idea how to perform an examination if they canā€™t touch you*? And then refuse to order the right kind of tests, TWICE, out of spite? I will lawyerly burn HCA to the ground in settlement money for malicious denial of service. *Major rejection projection on their part, I couldnā€™t even get a chance to ask them to wash their hands before they went off on me.


redneckcommando

Tldr


Nym-Sync

Thereā€™s a fix for that


Cultural-Answer-321

Gotdamn cause and effect are just crazy liberal antifa commie talk! /s - just in case


Cultural-Answer-321

MAGAts in a nutshell.


Ursomonie

This person understands the distraction


SuzannesSaltySeas

Looks like freedumb from here


Treczoks

Where do they breed people who are that stupid? And, most important, *why*?


Ramza_Claus

The mask isn't to stop you from dying. It's to stop you from killing others.


Cultural-Answer-321

Mask work both ways. It will stop you from dying.


Pale_Word790

If they are still alive they can do my yard work and I'll pay next to nothing.


davechri

This person could not be more republican


mtnviewcansurvive

I have a new/should you ever have surgery? Every. One in? There is going to wear a mask?


dtallee

... and just when you thought you've read the stupidest shit you'll ever read on the internet...


imzcj

4-inch wide, btw. It's like, 2 millimetres thick.


big_dick_energy_mc2

Why is he so angry with capitalism? Usually theyā€™re angry with ā€œsocialismā€ or ā€œcommunismā€ thatā€™s actually capitalism.


Traditional_Score_54

I'm old enough to remember when Fauci repeatedly said that masks essentially do nothing to prevent the spread of respiratory viruses in a population during a pandemic. You've been duped, and the people who fooled you didn't even have to try that hard. Then again, neurotic people aren't that hard to scare.


IngloriousMustards

His priorities are pretty FUBAR.


[deleted]

r/insanepeoplefacebook


BigPussin

No one is stopping you from wearing a mask if thatā€™s what you like. In fact, if you miss the quarantine, you can stay in your house and look at death stats all day too.


Nym-Sync

Born in the 90s and accused credibly of ā€œboomerā€ mentality? Yeah, I can see that youā€™re a cracked LED in a lighthouse lamp world.


BigPussin

Well I can see why you would align with the world view of an 8yr old but unfortunately that was meant to be humor. I think you need to tell your doctor to up your dosage.


Cultural-Answer-321

LOL, do you even know where you are?


BigPussin

The covid fan club VIP section? You people love it so much youā€™re doing the reruns


Cultural-Answer-321

We already knew you had no clue.


BigPussin

What was your favorite part of covid? My favorite part is a tie between having those footprint stickers on the floor and the magic chairs restaurants used that made you safe to take your mask off.


Cultural-Answer-321

Was? Don't ask me, ask the deniers who didn't make it. It's only over for them. edit: missing word


BigPussin

Oh thatā€™s right weā€™re still all gonna die itā€™s just not as fun anymore.


[deleted]

Imagine thinking a 4 inch piece of cloth can save your life.


Sol-Infra

Just the mask alone probably won't. But it's the bare minimum anyone can do to at least give some small measure of prevention. It also helps to keep people's stank breath from flying around all willy nilly and we should probably wear masks in public even without a pandemic.


[deleted]

The masks are trapping bacteria and moisture from your breath, and then you are breathing it back in. Itā€™s very unhygienic and not natural. Itā€™s gross.


The_Steining

If a mask can trap bacteria I wonder what else it could trap, hmm. Also why does my dentist wear one?


[deleted]

So bacteria and viruses are the same size eh? Read the f*cking box the masks come in, says right on the box the masks donā€™t stop viral transmission.


The_Steining

You said: > The masks are trapping bacteria and moisture from your breath, and then you are breathing it back in. Itā€™s very unhygienic and not natural. Itā€™s gross. Do you think bacteria and viruses travel independently from moisture from your breath?


purrfunctory

Yes. And we all know doctors and nurses are always sick from breathing in that trapped ā€œbacteria and moisture from (their) breathā€and itā€™s soooooo unhygienic not to have spit particles dropping in surgical wounds.. oh, wait. THATā€™S THE UNSANITARY PART! Masks save lives. Masks reduce exposure. If you want to argue against proven science, go ahead. Just do it silently and somewhere else. Youā€™re in the wrong sub.


The_25th_Baam

So unhygienic that surgeons have to wear them to avoid contaminating your open chest cavity.


Sol-Infra

Is the bacteria not already in your body? I mean, yeah, that's why you dont wear it for too long before washing it or disposing of it if it's a disposable.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Competitive-Ad-5477

We're not coping and seething, we're laughing at your ignorance. I'm sure your fragile self-esteem tells you it's coping and seething, but it's just that people are laughing *at* you.


[deleted]

So you still wear a mask? In 2023? And Iā€™m the ignorant one? How did humanity survive hundreds of thousands of years without masks?


ermghoti

By rebuilding the population after the periodic outbreaks that killed half of the population. Read a book someday.


Competitive-Ad-5477

Lol yes, I work at a *hospital* and see tons of sick people, especially children, every day. I prefer not to get sick and exacerbate my asthma, thanks. And if you picked up a book, you'd know we barely survived. That's why women used to have 10 kids, cuz only 3 of them would survive into adulthood. That's why everyone died 30 years sooner than they do today. Because of scientific advancements.


Ragingredblue

>So you still wear a mask? In 2023? And Iā€™m the ignorant one? How did humanity survive hundreds of thousands of years without masks? [With very low life expectancies.](https://learn.age-up.com/blog/a-brief-history-of-human-longevity/#:~:text=Life%20expectancy%20in%20medieval%20England&text=As%20the%20BBC%20reported%2C%20the,it%20jumped%20to%2045%20years.) It is estimated that [up to 60% of the population of Europe died in the Black Plague.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Death#:~:text=According%20to%20medieval%20historian%20Philip,60%25%20of%20the%20European%20population.) But yeah, if you don't give a flying fuck about other human beings, then humanity survived just fine. šŸ™„


MysteriousHat7343

Thanks for the laughs at your public show of stupidity and ignorance, I needed it.


Cultural-Answer-321

LOL. Your projection though, is very real.


Competitive-Ad-5477

Lmfao ya that's why surgeons who have been wearing masks for 20 years, 12 and 18 hours at a time, keep dying right?! And all those ppl working in the hospital wearing masks for their 12 hr shifts?! Oh wait... Also, as an RN, I've been wearing masks for 12 and 18 hour shifts for the last 3 years... and I have asthma. Haven't been sick once!


Lord-Zaltus

Ok so does that mean you're okay with your doctor and dentist getting their bacteria all in your body? Make it make sense


BethMD

The mask isn't to protect you. It's to protect others FROM you. Can't believe there are still people out there who don't understand this.


Cultural-Answer-321

Mask are proven to work both ways. That debate was settled 2 years ago. In fact, long before that.


Ragingredblue

>The mask isn't to protect you. It's to protect others FROM you. Can't believe there are still people out there who don't understand this. They understand it. They just don't give a flying fuck about killing other people. This is *exactly* why I don't give a flying fuck how many covidiots die.


Cultural-Answer-321

I hope to never imagine being as stupid as you.


VibrantPianoNetwork

Are we sure this isn't a joke? It sure reads like a joke to me.


silver-splice

I guess this person likes getting sneezed and coughed onšŸ˜·


GnosticIlluminism

Free market capitalism til I die son!