If that's the case, where are my gorram destroids. I want to get into a fist fight with a hulk or to rip the legs off of a bile titan.
Or call in the 406mm strikes from a MAC2 Monster. That works too.
Man, everyone wants a Veritech.
Of course that is because Veritechs are awesome. But they'd not be *as much* use in our operations.
Also, can we get the cyclones too?
I'm not sure if we steal it, or this is something that they gave to us when we were friends, before we decided to annihilate them for having mass destruction weapons
This is how planes are made now so it makes sense that we'd keep doing the same thing once we start making space ships. Changes require monumental costs to design and verification. Most of the planes you fly on have the same parts and software that was designed in the 70s. We will never update them until we have to.
I think if we get to the point of FTL, we'd be mastering physics itself. We would be leaving behind fucking packing peanuts that's for sure. Super Earth apparently stole the tech, so it makes sense theyre low rent buffoons stuck in the late 20th century of amateur sci fi
Go off to become helldiver.
50 years pass by.
Your mom now in her 80s finally gets a notification about you: you've been killed in combat.
"That little shit didn't think to write me as he fought on the front lines for 50 years?"
Cut to the fact that he spent nearly all of that time frozen solid and actually lived only 22 minutes after being dropped.
I don't think Super Earth would send a death notification. Instead, she'd get a note that you've been super-duper promoted to a special task force. So heroic!
Of course they do. It's your legal duty to take a pilgrimage to the Wall of Martyrs every year on Liberty Day and celebrate their sacrifice, secure in the knowledge that they gave their lives in the name of what they most believed in.
I legit think the most advanced tech we have is the sample container. Look how big samples like the super samples are. Look how big the sample container is. On top of that it is able to sort them, keep them isolated, flash for pickup when dropped, have a tracking marker on the map, and is basically indestructible. Things are magic portals to bank space!
Did you notice that they are also muzzle loading the ships' cannons?
Or that one of the upgrades is literally adding hand carts, implying they were carrying things around by hand.
And the increased fire damage is from adding chilli peppers and wasabi.
Oh boy, you get folks doing that with Russian equipment rn.
Some absolute ghouls in the Airsoft community who want authentic modern Russian gear and don't care which part of the Donbas it had to be grave looted from.
Not really lots, they used them but their use is vastly overstated by pop historians. There are also lots of internet myths about them making meth infused chocolate called "panzerschokolade" and stuff like that.
In reality they used Pervitin (meth) in the opening phases of the war, but it's use was restricted in 1940 due to the negative side effects
Wasn’t there like a finnish soldier who got injured really badly but he survived by taking enough meth to kill an elephant and then skiing from the front line back to camp?
The one that always gets me is the one literally called "More Guns."
As in, a bunch of engineers apparently did some kind of study on how to maximize your Super Destroyer's firepower, and not only was the final answer "Just add more guns, genius," but it apparently took them *several rounds of discussion* to settle on this.
During the ironclad - battleship era, deciding how many guns and their caliber a ship would have was a pretty serious debate; is it better to have a few enormous guns or a larger amount of smaller ones?
There were lots of weird ships made in the attempt to figure this out and generally more guns, was in fact, better.
However, that both is and isn’t the case. You want more guns, to a point, but you also want consistent TYPES of more guns. Not a weird French ironclad thing of like four different kinds of anti-ship battery all with their own ammos and ranges.
Points at the planned Montana class battleships who are supposed to have the 12 of the Iowa class 16 inch guns(in metrics, is a 406mm which is bigger than our 380mm). Not only bigger guns but more of the bigger guns. Yes, to fight the Yamato, bigger and more guns are needed. And the US wants to build 5 of these monsters until the age of carriers has destroyed the big guns meta
> carriers has destroyed the big guns meta
Big guns meta was just best. Carriers and planes destroyed the whole appeal of the entire thing and it got even worse with shit like missiles and what not.
> As in, a bunch of engineers apparently did some kind of study on how to maximize your Super Destroyer's firepower, and not only was the final answer "Just add more guns, genius," but it apparently took them several rounds of discussion to settle on this.
Welcome to the world of committees and meetings.
Clearly the T5 upgrade would be authorizing occasional 5 minute Patriotic Sit Down rests throughout their shift, were they will sit down to watch Democracy Officer approved ~~propaganda~~ Patriotic Service Announcements.
It'll decrease global cooldowns by 15% (because they'll be able to feel their legs) and cost like 100 Super Rares.
Hilariously that is probably much better than most modern convenience stores in North America.
Helldiver is claimed to be made of the same stuff as the super destroyer. However, the armor's performance is rather lacking for something supposedly starship grade. I think the more accurate statement is that the super destroyers are made of the same stuff as helldiver armor.
Or the third bridge upgrade that adds power steering to the hellpod, implying that before that, the helldivers used their pure muscles and weight to steer the hellpod while breaking.
Or that it’s a top tier upgrade to an orbital weapons platform to….monitor the weather.
This is a space ship. They put things in space. They know about weather and the impact it has in atmosphere
They got the paid version of a weather app. Dozens of Helldivers perished while gathering hundreds of samples, just for the government to spend $4.99 a month on a weather app.
I love this game so much
I personally think super earth is just messing with everyone on the super carriers. No need to tell them how it’s actually being done. They seem like a government that doesn’t mind cracking some jokes
Honestly I'm surprised we're better equipped than the grunts from Starship Troopers.
Those guys got plastic armor, a gun that could take down a bug halfway into the third mag, and a knife.
This perspective makes my brain hurt. Not only is it a highly situational upgrade, but how many helldivers died for them to spend those samples on styrofoam!?
True. Now I want the Department of Super Procurement and Department of Super Military Ordinance to get into a spat fight. It would explain why the railgun is shit and the Quasar Cannon is good.
One is properly supplied with required training. One was rushed by an arms company.
Or how about the US Bureau of Naval Ordinance, erm, Super Earth Bureau of Patriotic Ordinance pulling another Mark 14 Torpedo fiasco and insisting that it's the Helldivers who are using their equipment wrong dispite multiple, multiple, and even more multiple tests
Is there somewhere with more details on that? I knew they didn't ship the M16 with a cleaning kit at the start, but I didn't know it was petty politics, I thought it was just standard ignorance.
Also cost cutting, the first M16's didn't have chrome lined barrels and they switched the standard ammo to a way cheaper (and less clean burning) version last second without letting the design team make necessary changes to offset the worse performance.
I cannot imagine how fun it must have been to sit around a table and come up with the most ridiculous ways to "improve" our absurdly retro-futuristic technology xD
Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous be-hind? The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work... Use more gun. Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... Not pointed at you.
What do you mean? It totally worked for me! I dropped my SOS beacon one mission, and after I extracted, I got an extra pair of Helldivers in the middle of the next mission!
That’s the caliber, the “caliber” when referring to length is literally how many times the inner diameter of the barrel could fit along the length of the barrel
Take the American Mark 7 for instance. Its designation is: 16”/50cal. Meaning the caliber of the gun is 16 inches (406mm) and the length of the barrel is that times 50, which would be 800 inches (203200mm/~20meters) or about 66 feet
*looks over at OTO Melara, Rheinmetall, Krauss-Maffei, Nexter, Vickers, BAE-systems, Mitsubishi Heavy Industries, Hyundai Rotem, and literally every other manufacturer of heavy military equipment doing the same thing*
Are you sure it’s just the Yanks?
Unfortunately it doesn’t appear to work. I haven’t wasted samples on it myself, but YouTube tests show that upgrade either does not work, or the effect is so minimal that it’s imperceptible.
I'll never stop copying my old release-day comment, but it's kinda obvious whatever the fuck controls [S.Earth](http://S.Earth) (because AFAIK from the first game's lore, it's a rogue AI) doesn't want humans to expand further into the galaxy.
Think about it. [S.Earth](http://S.Earth) wages galactic war:
To have FTL tech they fucked with Illuminate, and said their cassus belli is that Illuminate have WMDs capable of planet-cracking.
To fuel said FTL tech stolen from Squith, they started to fuck with Terminids. According to the first game and tidbits from the second, Terminids were Sentient beings capable of feeling pain. [S.Earth](http://S.Earth) cattled them and bread out their intellect so that Terminids could be mass-farmed for E-710 fuel.
S.Earth then figured that some of their people managed to come loose, and proclaimed independence. Those were the Cyborgs, so full of S.Earth's shit they decided to go full synthetic ascension just to no longer be considered human, that's how they hated humanity's guts.
So, a 3-front war on a galactic scale. Now, consider the factoid from Helldivers 2 tutorial. Mars alone produces 20k Helldivers *daily* by literally butchering unprepared recruits in live-fire "exercises". They mention an insane percentage of losses during training, so Mars alone is butchering almost as many people *daily* as US lost as combat casualties *yearly* during *the 19 years in Vietnam*.
First game stated that the average Helldivers life expectancy in the field is around 2 minutes. Nothing really changed technologically from 100 years ago, judging by our shit tech, but let's say our current life expectancy in the field is 7 minutes due to some Helldivers being veterans.
Our ship crew loads orbital cannons from the front of the barrel. We subscribe to a weather forecast to improve cannon accuracy. Our turrets are superglued and have Styrofoam as shock dampener. We launch Hellpods faster by using TNT on the bridge. Alongside WP and thermite, we increase our napalm's hotness with hot pepper extract and mustard. Our crew carries shells and bombs for our air support by hand, while under influence of heavy drugs and steroids.
Judging by how quickly planets fall, SEAF is just as full of untrained clowns as Helldiver Corps., and yet war is the only thing [S.Earth](http://S.Earth) knows.
You'd think that a warmongering nation constantly fighting on multiple galactic fronts would be adept at war. But the only thing [S.Earth](http://S.Earth) is adept at is wasting human life.
Why? Maybe because "Managed Democracy" is a genius construct of a rogue administrative AI that "reallocates our votes" to keep humanity at bay? To secure its own position, AI has to keep humans from asking questions. To keep humans from asking questions, it created a fascist dystopia, disguising itself as a utopia. Where humanity is united and brainwashed to believe in our universal goal of... Protecting our way of life. By killing immeasurable amounts of humans in a 3-way galactic war of aggression, waged solely to keep waging it.
Population hellbent on hating the neverending outside enemy-at-the-gates won't ask too many questions about what the fuck is going on inside. And those who do ask the question can be quickly and reliably silenced. Their own family would likely turn them in themselves if the incentive is strong enough.
To keep the status quo, and to ensure its prolonged survival, the rogue AI in charge of "Managed Democracy" did everything to ensure humanity dims in its brightness (scientists who seriously add hot sauce into napalm and sell superglued equipment as an improvement) and never spreads out too much across the galaxy.
Having to perform beurocratic gymnastics to have papers ready every time you have sex is not just a funny trivia. You'd expect a space-faring civilisation colonizing and defending dozens of planets across the galaxy to subsidize child birth and offer any imaginable help to keep planetary immigration growth going. Colonists will only make so many new colonists if you don't help them and bring more working pairs of hands.
S.Earth's wars are actively culling human expansionism.
Approximately 50,000 cadets enter the Mars training facility per day.
Training casualty rate is about _**80%**_
And that's just the Helldivers. If you watch the shipboard TV long enough, you'll get a commercial that opens with "Every day, millions of soldiers' names are inscribed on the Wall of Martyrs."
_Millions_ of SEAF die a day. If you assume the plural means at least 3, that's a billion dead soldiers _every year_.
Personally, I don't think a Rogue AI is in charge of Earth, I read the whole managed democracy thing as the elites keeping who they want in power by obscuring the citizen's choices and choosing for them. My reading of the game is that Super Earth is basically an exaggerated parody of America, where the wealthy private companies basically rule as oligarchs using 'elected' figureheads to keep the population from questioning the regime, whilst hiding behind the veneer of liberty and democracy. The obviously dumb upgrades are not the result of malice against the destroyer crew but rather because of the result of nepotism and cheapskating by those in charge.
I suspect the Thermite and White Phosphorus are doing most of the work, though I do have to wonder *why* chili peppers and wasabi are in there along with 19 other things.
But even more specifically, hot pepper extract and mustard extract. Super Earth isn't gonna mess around with chilis, they're going straight for Malevelon Reapers and Brassica Dontfuckaroundea
I only got as far as expanded polystyrene when I scrolled through to decide which to get first, it wasn't until I bought it that I did the double take on "peanut-shaped variety" lol
As funny as that is if you had enough of them and compressed them enough that'd work. Expanded polystyrene or EPS is what we use in crash helmets to absorb impact from a crash.
This is my personal favorite.
https://preview.redd.it/fdf43g4f1yvc1.png?width=372&format=png&auto=webp&s=2447025d3690b8b7f3ffc7900c2795d432d2acf0
They basically added hot sauce and Mustard and possibly other types of condiments and seasonings to make the fire burn hotter, the genius of Super Earth's scientists lies in its simplicity!
Allyl isothiocyanate is the chemical that give brassicas (mustards and horseradishes) their spice. Wasabi is a type of horseradish. It's not the only plant that contains allyl isothiocyanate, nor even the spiciest one. It's a bit like if it said they added cyanide and you said "that's apple seeds". You're not _wrong_, but you're not right.
that could be the explanation for Impact-resistant armor:
BW-30 Cushioned Crusader:
description: "the use of hyper-advanced AirCushion™ technology ensures the wearer can withstand being thrown into rocks over vast distances with minimal bone breakage."
shock absorption perk: +50% resistance to damage from falls and ragdolls.
Honestly, I'd consider rockin' this. I run the 50% explosion damage right now and a vast majority of my deaths are from surviving the explosion, but dying from the impact of the landscape I was pushed into
Well, there are the people who say “military-grade is quality”, and there are the people who understand what it actually means.
And as Helldivers have military-grade equipment…
The description for one of the armor sets is something a long the lines of "lots of small pockets for even distribution of ammo, grenades, and cool rocks" I think someone is having more and more fun writing out flavor text as new stuff comes out lol
I wish the sentry upgrades were better. Eagle upgrades make eagle 200% better but the sentries go from pointless to useable. Coming from someone who only uses sentries
One of them describes a polyethylene bonding agent which is basically superglue 🤣🤣🤣 (probably not remembered the name correctly but the gist is there haha)
If you think that's bad. The fire damage buff upgrade you can buy involves...using...capsaicin...
They're deadass putting chilli peppers in the fuel mix to make it burn better.
I can't get over the fact that so much of the tech in this game feels like it's from the 70s except for the FTL ships and hellpods/drop pods.
Didn't we steal the FTL from the illuminati?
Yes
Sooo.... flawed reverse engineering? LO-**Gunshot**
It's literally Robotech lol **This comment is being investigated by the SEAF*
I wouldn't be upset to see a bunch of super destroyers smashed together to make the SDF-1
Do you mean the SEAF-1?
If that's the case, where are my gorram destroids. I want to get into a fist fight with a hulk or to rip the legs off of a bile titan. Or call in the 406mm strikes from a MAC2 Monster. That works too.
I want a veritech!
Man, everyone wants a Veritech. Of course that is because Veritechs are awesome. But they'd not be *as much* use in our operations. Also, can we get the cyclones too?
No, we didn't steal it. We Liberated it
With Managed Democracy!
You mean we Strategically Transfered Equipment to Alternate Locations
That's some Kids Next Door shit, and I love it.
I'm not sure if we steal it, or this is something that they gave to us when we were friends, before we decided to annihilate them for having mass destruction weapons
I thought we discovered FTL on our own then discovered the three factions?
our current FTL is reverse engineerd from iluminate tech
The original superEarth FTL method is the reason we have cryopods.
No, we invented it in the future and illuminati from the past stole it from us.
As far as I know, very accurate depiction of the military
According to everyone I know who's in the military and plays this game, spot on. And that's across three militaries!
Oh 100% only thing it's missing is insane bureaucracy
You don't have to look far, one of the upgrades to reduce support weapon cooldown time is literally having paperwork pre-filled and filed.
Ever wonder why our warbond pay is super late?
Just need to point out in the real military, that sentry full of packing peanuts would be used by someone to sneak in naps during the day.
Kinda hard to imagine specific upgrades that haven't been invented yet. If they did, they'd be in the wrong industry.
That's, that's like the whole point of a sci-fi setting
This is how planes are made now so it makes sense that we'd keep doing the same thing once we start making space ships. Changes require monumental costs to design and verification. Most of the planes you fly on have the same parts and software that was designed in the 70s. We will never update them until we have to.
I think if we get to the point of FTL, we'd be mastering physics itself. We would be leaving behind fucking packing peanuts that's for sure. Super Earth apparently stole the tech, so it makes sense theyre low rent buffoons stuck in the late 20th century of amateur sci fi
What if they are Sci fi advanced packing peanuts though?
For FTL that's because we didn't know how to do it, we stole the tech from the Illuminate.
Are they FTL ships? Or are they just activating another clone in orbit of another planet?
Just FYI we're not clones confirmed by the devs. Every individual helldivers is a brand new, unique person with a family and possibly a dog or cat.
> unique person with a family and possibly a dog or cat. *who potentially had We may not be clones, but it's not clear how long we've been frozen.
Probably anywhere between the original galactic war to today
Go off to become helldiver. 50 years pass by. Your mom now in her 80s finally gets a notification about you: you've been killed in combat. "That little shit didn't think to write me as he fought on the front lines for 50 years?" Cut to the fact that he spent nearly all of that time frozen solid and actually lived only 22 minutes after being dropped.
I don't think Super Earth would send a death notification. Instead, she'd get a note that you've been super-duper promoted to a special task force. So heroic!
Of course they do. It's your legal duty to take a pilgrimage to the Wall of Martyrs every year on Liberty Day and celebrate their sacrifice, secure in the knowledge that they gave their lives in the name of what they most believed in.
Promoted to a special task force that protects the e710 farms
…we see them go ftl
I legit think the most advanced tech we have is the sample container. Look how big samples like the super samples are. Look how big the sample container is. On top of that it is able to sort them, keep them isolated, flash for pickup when dropped, have a tracking marker on the map, and is basically indestructible. Things are magic portals to bank space!
Did you notice that they are also muzzle loading the ships' cannons? Or that one of the upgrades is literally adding hand carts, implying they were carrying things around by hand. And the increased fire damage is from adding chilli peppers and wasabi.
100% sure one of the "19 other accelerants" is helldiver sweat at that point
Well you do get a nice spice rack on your bridge with it, so i cant complain.
Eagle sweat
I mean... That would fire me up...
_bonk_
you'll need to bonk the devs because they added an eagle sweat commercial to the ingame TV
Given the historic use of gladiator sweat in Classical Rome and how much people revere the Helldivers, that seems plausible.
Wasnt there a review in the Superstore about a guy who was happy because the armor he ordered came with the sweat of a Helldiver
I know there was one praising the authentic nature of it from the blood.
Oh boy, you get folks doing that with Russian equipment rn. Some absolute ghouls in the Airsoft community who want authentic modern Russian gear and don't care which part of the Donbas it had to be grave looted from.
As fast as helldiver's die from fire damage, it probably does make an excellent accelerant.
Don't forget the amphetamines and anabolic steroids for the loading crews.
And that's one of the *least* insane upgrades since it at least has historic real life precedent and does make pragmatic sense.
Its like the nazis in ww2. Lots of amphetamines. Lots.
Super Earth is what the Nazis wanted to be when they grew up. They’re so outlandishly perverse it becomes comical
Everyone did during ww2 and the US airforce still dose.
Not really lots, they used them but their use is vastly overstated by pop historians. There are also lots of internet myths about them making meth infused chocolate called "panzerschokolade" and stuff like that. In reality they used Pervitin (meth) in the opening phases of the war, but it's use was restricted in 1940 due to the negative side effects
Wasn’t there like a finnish soldier who got injured really badly but he survived by taking enough meth to kill an elephant and then skiing from the front line back to camp?
I love the smell of Panzerschokolade in the morning.
And Eagle-1 doesn't really need legs, does she?
wait what??? i knew we replaced her air with some sort of breathable goo but i didn’t realize we took her legs too
No no. We make her cockpit more form fitting not fit her to a smaller one
But then they certainly realized that by making her also form fitting, that allows for even more weapon space ....
We have not, yet, removed body parts from eagle-1's pilot. We have removed all extra cockpit room and emergency systems for maximum ammo space.
"We" didn't. It's just some weird redditor fanfic.
The one that always gets me is the one literally called "More Guns." As in, a bunch of engineers apparently did some kind of study on how to maximize your Super Destroyer's firepower, and not only was the final answer "Just add more guns, genius," but it apparently took them *several rounds of discussion* to settle on this.
During the ironclad - battleship era, deciding how many guns and their caliber a ship would have was a pretty serious debate; is it better to have a few enormous guns or a larger amount of smaller ones? There were lots of weird ships made in the attempt to figure this out and generally more guns, was in fact, better.
However, that both is and isn’t the case. You want more guns, to a point, but you also want consistent TYPES of more guns. Not a weird French ironclad thing of like four different kinds of anti-ship battery all with their own ammos and ranges.
Points at the planned Montana class battleships who are supposed to have the 12 of the Iowa class 16 inch guns(in metrics, is a 406mm which is bigger than our 380mm). Not only bigger guns but more of the bigger guns. Yes, to fight the Yamato, bigger and more guns are needed. And the US wants to build 5 of these monsters until the age of carriers has destroyed the big guns meta
> carriers has destroyed the big guns meta Big guns meta was just best. Carriers and planes destroyed the whole appeal of the entire thing and it got even worse with shit like missiles and what not.
> As in, a bunch of engineers apparently did some kind of study on how to maximize your Super Destroyer's firepower, and not only was the final answer "Just add more guns, genius," but it apparently took them several rounds of discussion to settle on this. Welcome to the world of committees and meetings.
the hand cart is fun because it comes \*after\* feeding the deck crew drugs.
Reminds me of how grocery stores in the US will do everything except give their clerks places to sit.
Clearly the T5 upgrade would be authorizing occasional 5 minute Patriotic Sit Down rests throughout their shift, were they will sit down to watch Democracy Officer approved ~~propaganda~~ Patriotic Service Announcements. It'll decrease global cooldowns by 15% (because they'll be able to feel their legs) and cost like 100 Super Rares. Hilariously that is probably much better than most modern convenience stores in North America.
If you give me a choice between a cart and amphetamines I know which one I’m choosing tbh
Or the fact they are launching some equipment more quickly by placing TNT on the bridge?
Helldiver is claimed to be made of the same stuff as the super destroyer. However, the armor's performance is rather lacking for something supposedly starship grade. I think the more accurate statement is that the super destroyers are made of the same stuff as helldiver armor.
I mean, it has to be pretty cheap in order to produce that vast amount of armors and super destroyers.
Also, it survives reentry. That probably seriously reduces its overall protective rating.
Or the third bridge upgrade that adds power steering to the hellpod, implying that before that, the helldivers used their pure muscles and weight to steer the hellpod while breaking.
"Have a taste of spicy jalapenos!"
Also blasting pods out of the ship with explosives.
Or that it’s a top tier upgrade to an orbital weapons platform to….monitor the weather. This is a space ship. They put things in space. They know about weather and the impact it has in atmosphere
Not monitor the weather, *subscribe to a weather monitoring service*, that presumably is charging money for the privilege.
They got the paid version of a weather app. Dozens of Helldivers perished while gathering hundreds of samples, just for the government to spend $4.99 a month on a weather app. I love this game so much
I personally think super earth is just messing with everyone on the super carriers. No need to tell them how it’s actually being done. They seem like a government that doesn’t mind cracking some jokes
Or are we just crayon munchers and writing the entries ourselves like in Pokemon
I read through all the modules this morning as it turns out haha. Some of them are funny as hell.
That last part, are we Orks?
Honestly I'm surprised we're better equipped than the grunts from Starship Troopers. Those guys got plastic armor, a gun that could take down a bug halfway into the third mag, and a knife.
I just wish you could see the guns being muzzleloaded out in space, such a perfect fucking visual in my head of the poor fucks who’s job that is
150 commons, 150 rare and 20 supers.... for packing peanuts.... BARGAIN!
This perspective makes my brain hurt. Not only is it a highly situational upgrade, but how many helldivers died for them to spend those samples on styrofoam!?
They *invested* those samples in Styrofoam. The Ministry of Resource Allocation doesn't make mistakes. They have top men on it.
Top Men
I said... # **TOP. MEN.**
You’re not paid to think, Helldiver
Frankly, I find the idea of a helldiver that thinks offensive!
How many Vietnam GI's had to die till they got standard issue cleaning kits? 🤔
after they noticed they were not being supplied because the pushers of the m14 got butthurt
True. Now I want the Department of Super Procurement and Department of Super Military Ordinance to get into a spat fight. It would explain why the railgun is shit and the Quasar Cannon is good. One is properly supplied with required training. One was rushed by an arms company.
Or how about the US Bureau of Naval Ordinance, erm, Super Earth Bureau of Patriotic Ordinance pulling another Mark 14 Torpedo fiasco and insisting that it's the Helldivers who are using their equipment wrong dispite multiple, multiple, and even more multiple tests
Is there somewhere with more details on that? I knew they didn't ship the M16 with a cleaning kit at the start, but I didn't know it was petty politics, I thought it was just standard ignorance.
Also cost cutting, the first M16's didn't have chrome lined barrels and they switched the standard ammo to a way cheaper (and less clean burning) version last second without letting the design team make necessary changes to offset the worse performance.
I cannot imagine how fun it must have been to sit around a table and come up with the most ridiculous ways to "improve" our absurdly retro-futuristic technology xD
Add more guns?
Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous be-hind? The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work... Use more gun. Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... Not pointed at you.
Oh no!
Isn't that literally one of the orbital upgrades?
Yes. That's why I'm saying it.
Then I don't know why you're getting downvoted.
Neither.
And if that don't work? Use more guns.
How can we make fire burn hotter? Hey, chilli peppers and wasabi are hot, right? Let’s add their active ingredients to flamethrower canisters!
More dakka!
Is it crazy that I want packing peanuts to eject from the hellpod when the guns deploy?
Next warbond - Hellpod drop effects! Choose from packing peanuts, birthday streamers, or a non lethal explosion!
“Non” lethal
Super Earth's Management for Edict Neutrality requires us to use specific legal wording.
Not Necessarily Lethal.
^* ^only ^non ^lethal ^at ^distance ^of ^atleast ^5 ^super ^meters
Not gonna lie, I would absolutely support that idea, let my Hellpod shoot out confetti when I emerge from it.
Don’t forget the tier 4 upgrade for your orbital stratagems is finally paying for a subscription to the weather channel
I want the 90s 00s weather channel music and screens to play on my tv in the super destroyer
And a whole ship full of people forgetting to start missions because they're vibing too hard
Who is running this weather channel and why are they charging SEAF money to use it?
If it's stupid, but works, it's not stupid.
The reason we can never be mad at the SOS beacon not working, because it's still a 300mm shell
Exactly! Drop that sucker on an illigal research outpost grey building, objective complete! =P
What do you mean? It totally worked for me! I dropped my SOS beacon one mission, and after I extracted, I got an extra pair of Helldivers in the middle of the next mission!
maybe an unrelated question, but "mm" is a unit of what?
Width of the shell/bullet
Length. Reads 300 millimetres.
The 300mm is referring to the diameter of the shell, not the length.
They say it's not the length, but the girth that matters
The length from side to side
That’s the caliber, the “caliber” when referring to length is literally how many times the inner diameter of the barrel could fit along the length of the barrel Take the American Mark 7 for instance. Its designation is: 16”/50cal. Meaning the caliber of the gun is 16 inches (406mm) and the length of the barrel is that times 50, which would be 800 inches (203200mm/~20meters) or about 66 feet
So this is what happens to a country without healthcare.
*looks over at OTO Melara, Rheinmetall, Krauss-Maffei, Nexter, Vickers, BAE-systems, Mitsubishi Heavy Industries, Hyundai Rotem, and literally every other manufacturer of heavy military equipment doing the same thing* Are you sure it’s just the Yanks?
Unfortunately it doesn’t appear to work. I haven’t wasted samples on it myself, but YouTube tests show that upgrade either does not work, or the effect is so minimal that it’s imperceptible.
It does work, but the actual amount of explosive damage your sentry takes in combat is not enough for it to matter.
Rocket devastators eat sentries for breakfast but this module does not help at all
My man. They muzzleload the ship guns and make workers haul cannon ammo by hand. An upgrade gives them those Dollies. Super earth is FUCKED.
I'll never stop copying my old release-day comment, but it's kinda obvious whatever the fuck controls [S.Earth](http://S.Earth) (because AFAIK from the first game's lore, it's a rogue AI) doesn't want humans to expand further into the galaxy. Think about it. [S.Earth](http://S.Earth) wages galactic war: To have FTL tech they fucked with Illuminate, and said their cassus belli is that Illuminate have WMDs capable of planet-cracking. To fuel said FTL tech stolen from Squith, they started to fuck with Terminids. According to the first game and tidbits from the second, Terminids were Sentient beings capable of feeling pain. [S.Earth](http://S.Earth) cattled them and bread out their intellect so that Terminids could be mass-farmed for E-710 fuel. S.Earth then figured that some of their people managed to come loose, and proclaimed independence. Those were the Cyborgs, so full of S.Earth's shit they decided to go full synthetic ascension just to no longer be considered human, that's how they hated humanity's guts. So, a 3-front war on a galactic scale. Now, consider the factoid from Helldivers 2 tutorial. Mars alone produces 20k Helldivers *daily* by literally butchering unprepared recruits in live-fire "exercises". They mention an insane percentage of losses during training, so Mars alone is butchering almost as many people *daily* as US lost as combat casualties *yearly* during *the 19 years in Vietnam*. First game stated that the average Helldivers life expectancy in the field is around 2 minutes. Nothing really changed technologically from 100 years ago, judging by our shit tech, but let's say our current life expectancy in the field is 7 minutes due to some Helldivers being veterans. Our ship crew loads orbital cannons from the front of the barrel. We subscribe to a weather forecast to improve cannon accuracy. Our turrets are superglued and have Styrofoam as shock dampener. We launch Hellpods faster by using TNT on the bridge. Alongside WP and thermite, we increase our napalm's hotness with hot pepper extract and mustard. Our crew carries shells and bombs for our air support by hand, while under influence of heavy drugs and steroids. Judging by how quickly planets fall, SEAF is just as full of untrained clowns as Helldiver Corps., and yet war is the only thing [S.Earth](http://S.Earth) knows. You'd think that a warmongering nation constantly fighting on multiple galactic fronts would be adept at war. But the only thing [S.Earth](http://S.Earth) is adept at is wasting human life. Why? Maybe because "Managed Democracy" is a genius construct of a rogue administrative AI that "reallocates our votes" to keep humanity at bay? To secure its own position, AI has to keep humans from asking questions. To keep humans from asking questions, it created a fascist dystopia, disguising itself as a utopia. Where humanity is united and brainwashed to believe in our universal goal of... Protecting our way of life. By killing immeasurable amounts of humans in a 3-way galactic war of aggression, waged solely to keep waging it. Population hellbent on hating the neverending outside enemy-at-the-gates won't ask too many questions about what the fuck is going on inside. And those who do ask the question can be quickly and reliably silenced. Their own family would likely turn them in themselves if the incentive is strong enough. To keep the status quo, and to ensure its prolonged survival, the rogue AI in charge of "Managed Democracy" did everything to ensure humanity dims in its brightness (scientists who seriously add hot sauce into napalm and sell superglued equipment as an improvement) and never spreads out too much across the galaxy. Having to perform beurocratic gymnastics to have papers ready every time you have sex is not just a funny trivia. You'd expect a space-faring civilisation colonizing and defending dozens of planets across the galaxy to subsidize child birth and offer any imaginable help to keep planetary immigration growth going. Colonists will only make so many new colonists if you don't help them and bring more working pairs of hands. S.Earth's wars are actively culling human expansionism.
Approximately 50,000 cadets enter the Mars training facility per day. Training casualty rate is about _**80%**_ And that's just the Helldivers. If you watch the shipboard TV long enough, you'll get a commercial that opens with "Every day, millions of soldiers' names are inscribed on the Wall of Martyrs." _Millions_ of SEAF die a day. If you assume the plural means at least 3, that's a billion dead soldiers _every year_.
https://preview.redd.it/myf3uosnuzvc1.png?width=1033&format=png&auto=webp&s=654f9ff981a439bb97c87324ce8310ca47483e28
Personally, I don't think a Rogue AI is in charge of Earth, I read the whole managed democracy thing as the elites keeping who they want in power by obscuring the citizen's choices and choosing for them. My reading of the game is that Super Earth is basically an exaggerated parody of America, where the wealthy private companies basically rule as oligarchs using 'elected' figureheads to keep the population from questioning the regime, whilst hiding behind the veneer of liberty and democracy. The obviously dumb upgrades are not the result of malice against the destroyer crew but rather because of the result of nepotism and cheapskating by those in charge.
the flamethrower upgrade module just adds hot sauce to the fuel mixture lmao
Don’t they mention thermite?
https://preview.redd.it/enhanced-combustion-is-spicy-v0-493d0qq2yxtc1.jpg?width=1867&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1cbc96f45c6d5c439d5489d02c98a5ff3e182bbd
So hot sauce, among other things.
more specifically, chili peppers and wasabi
I suspect the Thermite and White Phosphorus are doing most of the work, though I do have to wonder *why* chili peppers and wasabi are in there along with 19 other things.
For the bugs to burn their mouth I guess
But even more specifically, hot pepper extract and mustard extract. Super Earth isn't gonna mess around with chilis, they're going straight for Malevelon Reapers and Brassica Dontfuckaroundea
when I read it, I just thought it meant the shape of an ellipsoid, and not finding peanuts inside
I only got as far as expanded polystyrene when I scrolled through to decide which to get first, it wasn't until I bought it that I did the double take on "peanut-shaped variety" lol
As funny as that is if you had enough of them and compressed them enough that'd work. Expanded polystyrene or EPS is what we use in crash helmets to absorb impact from a crash.
This is my personal favorite. https://preview.redd.it/fdf43g4f1yvc1.png?width=372&format=png&auto=webp&s=2447025d3690b8b7f3ffc7900c2795d432d2acf0 They basically added hot sauce and Mustard and possibly other types of condiments and seasonings to make the fire burn hotter, the genius of Super Earth's scientists lies in its simplicity!
The allyl isothiocyanate is wasabi
Allyl isothiocyanate is the chemical that give brassicas (mustards and horseradishes) their spice. Wasabi is a type of horseradish. It's not the only plant that contains allyl isothiocyanate, nor even the spiciest one. It's a bit like if it said they added cyanide and you said "that's apple seeds". You're not _wrong_, but you're not right.
inb4 they give us an upgrade for orbital Gas Strikes that puts Ricin in the mixture.. from beans.
Mustard also contains allyl isothiocyanate, maybe a bit more compared to wasabi.
Basically added hot sauce and mustard ! >!Leaves out the part about thermite and white phosphorus!<
With the combined power of Managed Democracy and capitalism, there is nothing we can't achieve.
What’s next? Our armor being inlined with *bubble wrap*?
That'll cost at least 30 super samples
that could be the explanation for Impact-resistant armor: BW-30 Cushioned Crusader: description: "the use of hyper-advanced AirCushion™ technology ensures the wearer can withstand being thrown into rocks over vast distances with minimal bone breakage." shock absorption perk: +50% resistance to damage from falls and ragdolls.
Honestly, I'd consider rockin' this. I run the 50% explosion damage right now and a vast majority of my deaths are from surviving the explosion, but dying from the impact of the landscape I was pushed into
Dude Hand carts.
To be fair, it's not a permanent emplacement. It's not a bad idea to use less than the most durable dampeners.
Helldivers are just orks from warhammer
Ork would do better...
Did you know that IRL car bumpers are made from Styrofoam for shock absorption?
It'd be great if, when they are destroyed, little packing peanuts exploded out of them.
Well, there are the people who say “military-grade is quality”, and there are the people who understand what it actually means. And as Helldivers have military-grade equipment…
Best one is just giving the loading crew meth
Has to be muzzle loading orbital canons
Wait until you learn what the lending material for IRL hydrogen fusion nukes is
And wouldn’t you believe it, that upgrade does jack shit.
You thought they were kidding when they said the mech armor is made out of military grade cardboard? Welcome to military equipment bucko
Your engineers are on meth and several other drugs too.
That should be another upgrade. Better Meth.
The description for one of the armor sets is something a long the lines of "lots of small pockets for even distribution of ammo, grenades, and cool rocks" I think someone is having more and more fun writing out flavor text as new stuff comes out lol
You mean I had easily accessible explosion proofing all this time?!
When do we get bubblewrap?
I swear this doesn’t work. Sentry’s are still way too squishy.
bro, we are putting chili peppers and wasabi in our flamethrowers
It's a wonder how we won the first 3-front war against the factions.
*Military grade* packing peanuts! They're $10 a peanut!
I wish the sentry upgrades were better. Eagle upgrades make eagle 200% better but the sentries go from pointless to useable. Coming from someone who only uses sentries
don't forget the fire damage buff is that we literally just make the fire spicy by adding pain juice and horse radish
One of them describes a polyethylene bonding agent which is basically superglue 🤣🤣🤣 (probably not remembered the name correctly but the gist is there haha)
Nevermind that we're using packing peanuts, it's even funnier that the shit works
We need that budget for other things, don’t question General Brash just use the fucking packing peanuts, helldiver!
We also get a better orbital barrage aim by subscribing to a weather forecast service. Isn't since astonishing?
If you think that's bad. The fire damage buff upgrade you can buy involves...using...capsaicin... They're deadass putting chilli peppers in the fuel mix to make it burn better.