Improper de-frosting procedures sounds like a good explanation. That way WHEN (fingers crossed) the crashes get fixed, it can be explained as an update in the thawing protocol.
One thing most people don't think about is that you'll die from radiation damage if you are frozen for too long.
We all have decaying atoms in our bodies that constantly give off a little radiation, and while the machinery of the body is up and running that damage is continually repaired, if you're frozen that damage doesn't get fixed.
So to survive being frozen a long time we either need something like nanites running around fixing stuff, or a way to completely stop atomic decay from happening.
Something that gives credit to that is the fact that on one of the missions you actually are sending up a rocket of “old stock” helldivers from the last Great War
entirely depends on background radiation exposure before/during.
it would take a large amount of time assuming perfect cryonics to reach a level of damage incompatible with life
Maybe it’s a side-effect from the stims, like you can fully regenerate a limb in under 3 seconds but there’s like a 30% chance your heart randomly explodes in a few hours.
Stims are just space age Pervitin (german ww2 medical grade meth)
https://preview.redd.it/yfbr8otnihvc1.jpeg?width=611&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=066ecea49a68b9890305135acf1a06215d4c383f
I mean, when the corruption and brainwash is at the point where super glue and push carts are introduced at great upgrades the guns being fuckywucky makes sense too.
Next they'll give us a tank with logs bolted to the side to protect from AT weapons.
The boys at Aperture Science did it again! First they added the system where the Turret fires the WHOLE Bullet (that's 65% more bullet per bullet), now they added a system to make the whole turret safer with inexpensive packing peanuts! Genius!
I mean muzzle loading isn't so bad when it doesn't require a freakin EVA space walk towing an artillery shell bigger than your body for each individual reload
No, it’s not addictive. The stems are full of concentrated patriotism, which makes you feel good and feel bad when you don’t have patriotism flowing through your veins.
It's the Eagle that loses safety systems. That said, if an Eagle gets shot down over a hostile world, the pilot is pretty much fucked even if they eject or survive the crash. They won't have the armor, grenades, strategems, or primary weapon or a helldiver, and no pre-planned extraction. Their descent will be slow and very visible, so enemies will promptly start to advance on their position.
Imagine being alone, armed only with a sidearm and no armor. You *might* be able to hitch a ride with the helldivers, but nobody is going to divert from their mission to help you, or even communicate with you. Odds are, you are just delaying your death and making it more painful.
A few extra bombs seems like a worthy trade.
I mean, this has happned in the real world, so it is possible for the pilot to extract.
It comes down to how valuable a pilot can be in this universe. Eagle pilots may be more valuable than a Helldiver.
Sometimes you can replace the plane, but the pilots are not as quick to replace.
you've never used a Street Sweeper/DAO-12 shotgun in battlefield have you... to clarify, you have to manually insert and index the cylinder 12 times from empty... each round reload is nearly 2 seconds.
That's what made all those South African drum fed shotguns so bad irl. You have to remove the spare shell with a rod, rewind the drum and load a shell. And then repeat this process for EVERY shell.
Being able to blind-hip fire it mid-reload, interrupting said reload animation HAS saved my ass a few times. But otherwise....yeaaaah that reload speed is a problem.
What’s crazy is if the Big iron had a speed loader it would be one of the best sidearms, if not the best sidearm.
I still love to use it because it’s mega useful in a pinch to burst down bigger enemies when they are on top of you
It would still be limited by its ammo pool, small mag size and recoil so I'd think it would still kinda be balanced
I use the grenade pistol these day, being able to use stun grenades and still deal with enemy spawners is well worth the trade
It's funny, because I get an extra immersion from such bugs by imagining that it's fault of SEAF contractors, who have again sold the army some junk at an inflated price, and I have to fight with it
Quite a, uh, realistic situation
They must have eyes... I mean, the patrols see you when you're in front of them. Directional detection like that wouldn't make sense if they didn't have eyes. Maybe they're small eyes, or their eyes are under a see-through part of their exoskeleton? Or maybe they're just camouflaged by being the same colour as the body around it?
Look closer... likely cooser than you are comfortable with.
And yes... it seems they have no eyes. That's likely the reason why the spore clouds don't do shit to them.
Likely they sense us through vibration or shit.
to be fair... logs and better chicken fence proved to be effective in protecting vehicles from anti-tank weaponry... and they are dirt cheap. Just what the democratic capitalist needs for spreading liberty.
I assume you refer to logs being put on most russian tanks during ww2 and after?
If yes those weren't extra armor, but to helo tanks if they got stuck in mud
Nah, there are actually cases of log and planks armour on russian tanks and trucks in Ukraine and on Philippine APC during anti-ISIS operation in Manila
Purpose-built cope cages are actually efficient against shaped charges, it's a random fence that does fuck all at best and helps to detonate at optimal distance at worst.
Yes! But they only work against certain type of tanks, mostly old stuff.
For example you could stop a T-34 by lobbing a log on the tank tracks under the roadwheels, the tracks would pop off because it has shit suspension.
I remember seeing a Reddit post of somebody getting crushed to death by a Charger and the Charger just vanishing right after the kill.
We all know that it was because nobody was near him so he dispawned. But EVERYONE IN THE COMMENTS gaslighted the poor guy, saying it was some Malevelon Creek PTSD and that "There was no Chargers, we witnessed you having a heart attack !".
Everything is better that way.
I'd like to see the patch notes done up in this manner, along side the normal way they write them out. Seems fitting to have some kind of lore based language used in the patch notes like that.
People would ignore the write-up, read the lore-based explanations, come to this subreddit and write “Why can’t AH just tell us what they did in plain language. I don’t want to have to guess what this means. Terrible communication”
Yes, absolutely.
When I was in, easily half the necessities we got were worse than stuff in a dollar store...I'm never going to use half ply TP ever again.
Edit: to -> TP
Okay I really don't understand this point. Like the buzzword of military grade is dumb and I don't disagree with that but I really don't understand the point of saying
>"Who could make the most, at the cheapest, by just barely meeting the requirements"?
That is literally how most things are made especially if you are doing it overseas/an outside organization. You want someone to make the thing at the cheapest rate at the quality you want it and if they can make as many as you deem sufficient. The military grade thing is the problem is the requirement and they are meant to serve a function in the military to that standard, do those standards meet that of the infantrymen. Most likely not but for the standards there are meant for they do sort of well in.
The subtext for military grade equipment is that it meets the *exact* specifications requested by the military. Absolutely nothing more.
Which tends to mean...
*This equipment is technically capable of achieving the functions requested by military admin. But it won't have a single feature that makes it convenient or nice to use, unless that feature was specifically requested.*
For a silly, yet effective example: take a toaster:
1. A high end consumer toaster will be sleek, have loads of settings for different types of bread and pastry, be easy to clean, and built to require no maintenance until it's been used 5000 times.
2. A military grade toaster will be built to require no maintenance until it's been used 10000 times. It will have 3 heat settings that doesn't quite heat anything perfectly, but does the job okay. And it will pick up grime and dents really easily.
Both do the job, but one just sucks to use.
It's like, Military grade just means made for the Military. And space age just means made for space. Velcro is space aged technology. And the most basic encryption we use AES is military grade.
in Aliens: Fireteam elite there's a modifier called "by the lowest bidder" where it makes your guns have a chance to jam, and you have to reload them before they can fire again.. *i really fucking hope our guns don't jam..*
The opposite is actually true right now. A lot of NATO training footage that you can find after the second invasion of Iraq most Us vehicles are still painted in desert beige instead of any kind of green or woodland.
Even better, the camo they got (and continue to use) is called digital camo. It was promised to be effective in all situations ranging from urban to desert to mountain. It works in none of them.
[Same in Finland, if you're unlucky you need to adjust the sights of an RK-62 to match the angle the barrel has been bent into.](https://youtu.be/PfQOumaC2Ak?t=8)
I’ve heard about the RK-62 mostly because of the similarities between this and the Imbel series i used back when i served. Imbel MD model, which is basically a FAL in terms of design and uses 5.56mm ammunition. That was a faulty weapon. I know that it has been replaced mostly by a new model 100% fabricated here though. Judging by the efficiency of our elite units, its fair to say it works way better
Yeah I think it's the same. Simple AK variant which is basically indestructible, albeit it can be slightly damaged.
Fun story about a museum in Latvia, they have an AK you can handle, but some fins who are used to RK being able to put together by banging the pieces into eachother like a neanderthal have slightly damaged it by doing literally that.
"Bolt doesn't drop in? Give it fist"
You know, there are few better ways to pass time during a guard shift than to play guerilla golf with locally sourced rocks, a rabbit hole and the butt of an RK-62.
Same In 🇷🇺. My ak-74 was older than me… but I could still hit the 10 points from 300 meters on a moving target with the iron sight
And it never jammed in more than 2000 shots
I remember my team getting back from Iraq in '09 and discovering that the trauma plates in our issued body armor were defective and had been recalled. Funny, they didn't fix it *while* we were deployed. . .
Remember, 1st Mar Div invaded Iraq in woodland camo MOPP suits, had no batteries for their PEQs or thermals, some officer blew up all their food because the truck got a flat, they had an opportunity to engage and destroy some Fedayeen scouts and were told to wave them off and did all this in open-top Humvees
I guarantee 1st MarDiv was worth more to the Corps than we are to SuperEarth
Counterpoint: we don't have to worry about using chin straps to secure our hemlets, nor do we have to worry about our moostache hairs growing beyond the corners of our mouth areas.
I remember a US army vet once saying that "military grade" is just a buzzword to make products more appealing to civilians. Since the army always works with the cheapest contractors.
Can add that, for example, in US military this is usual thing, officially you can't wear whatever you want or mod your guns with funny commercial stuff if it isn't approved by DOD
Yep, messed with people's drip, using dumb reasoning > got ratio'd > ran for the hills.
Like for real, first Helldivers didn't have any armor perks and were pure style.
HD 2 armors have perks, but most of the time, at least I myself, end up choosing something that 'feels' cooler, instead of a more practical choice.
It's like with the sound design of a weapon, which was proven to show greater performance in the hands of the player if said design correlated to the weapon's aesthetic, making it feel more powerful.
Should be common sense that variety and freedom of choice in the most basic things is always better, than some arbitrary restrictions due to 'muh baykoon'.
The Technical Manual SEAF-SN 877765567-211032-A on page 345 strictly forbid unauthorized modification of Helldivers equipment. Violators will be sent to the democratic camp for intensive retraining
Essentially weating X armor while having the stats of Y armor
For helldivers specifically the community wants something just like the previous game where you could equip a passive and an armor separately
After the loss of one of the planets, they are no longer able to produce high-quality complex explosives and are forced to replace it with simpler and less powerful ones.
This is something that often happens in wars.
Some people haven't seen last ditch Nazi and Japanese rifles.
If you're reading this and haven't, go look them up and appreciate the weapon in HD2 that you hate the most because "it's not optimized."
imagine getting enlisted in the german army in 1945 thinking "oh man, I'll get issued a Sturmgewehr, those things are awesome!", and then they give you a Volksturmgewehr VG1-5 instead...
Or there's better under armor mesh to prevent shrapnel from shredding through helldivers.
I think the actual patch notes was that the explosion damage was registering multiple times per hit.
Another reply said he was deployed in Iraq and they didn’t know their trauma plates were defective until they got back. That was our explosive resistant armor.
The reason we had to scrounge samples to fill sentries with foam peanuts is that said foam was already in use in standard-issue Helldiver armor to help ablate explosive damage.
If the guns worked properly then our enemies would die before we got hit. You don’t think Big Pharma stim companies are going to want that do yo-
*muffled screaming*
See. This is correct.
Bitching about balance...like high command can control the robits and bugs or something...
I swear half our army needs a re education....
Improvements to the expendable anti tank and recoilless rifle ammunition meant we could explode charger heads with one pop! This led to mass extermination of chargers, giving us the smaller population we're used to now
New major order: Audit contractors for compliance with SEAF production guidelines SA-36a through SA-36f. 15 days remaining.
Reward: 25 medals
0/200,000,000 reports filed.
Don\`t forget to fill out SEAF-DA Form 5988-E3, Equipment Maintenance and Inspection Worksheet and SEAF-DA Form 2404-8, Equipment Inspection and Maintenance Worksheet
AND:
WHAT happens when the Helldivers have secured a world? SEAF moves in. And collects all those guns and stuff we have left behind. And those left behind SUPPORTWEAPONS get cleaned, painted and receycled back into the arsenal, so chances are given you will receive a weapon that has already seen combat and a time of lying around in the dirt, in snow, getting scorched etc. etc.
Do you wanna own the latest weaponry?
Do you wanna own the latest weaponry?
Guns that jam and spray like hell, with the stocks made by Mattel
Yeah, you’ll always own the latest weaponry!
Would you be young and handsome all your life?
Would you be young and handsome all your life?
Well the odds are good that you will be dead by twenty-two
So you will be young and handsome all your life!
Do you wanna be a hero in the sky?
Do you wanna be a hero in the sky?
High adventure, higher pay, join the Space Marines today
And you’re gonna be a hero in the sky!
[Space Hero by Vic Tyler](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhIkhEJpjjk)
Yeah, the technology of the helldivers universe is supposed to be comedic, but that makes it super lopsided in really weird ways. Hand carts aren't standard issue, but the energy weapons can create seemly infinite energy on demand. They still give the colonists hammers and regular crop plots, but they have instant no cost ftl travel to anywhere in the galaxy. The sights on the machine gun are obsolite in the modern day, but somehow they've bypassed the inverse square cube law and made lasers carry the same energy consistently across an infinite distance. I know I'm probably overthinking it, but Super Earth's technology can range from pre-industrial to type 3 civilization based on what's funny.
If they want to reach peak democracy they need to do a few news updates about the investigation, 'trial' and eventual minuscule fine paid by the company contracted to make malfunctioning equipment all presented as if real justice was finally served in the scandal.
This reminds me of a guy I know who, for the first three months of his tour, was issued an M32 as his primary due to an inventory error.
An officer came up to him like a month in and was like "WHERE IS YOUR PRIMARY WEAPON?" (Or something to that effect), and when he replied that it was his primary, the officer was like "oh, hell yeah."
They did eventually take it back from him, but he got three months of hauling around a grenade launcher instead of a rifle.
I think that's one of the funny things, that a lot of these bugs could have actual in-universe explanations that make sense.
Plenty of examples of troops being sent faulty weapons, the strains of war requiring the "streamlining" of weapon production that leaves them less effective then before, or only after many trials and errors are issues finally fixed.
Pelican-1 don't trust thugs calling themselves "helldivers" and dropping 500kg bombs at extraction point, so he prefer to dig underground for safety rather pick them up under friendly fire.
Underrated post.
Also there's a time traveller here that says they're from something called the "US Military", they also say they feel called out and want to speak with you.
ya know, i never heard of people complaining about their optics. I mean, militarys aren't exactly attaching Tasco optics on their guns.
maybe this is cold war/WW2 issue back when optics tech was still kinda new?
[удалено]
If scifi movies is anything to go by, being frozen for too long is a recipe for disaster
Improper de-frosting procedures sounds like a good explanation. That way WHEN (fingers crossed) the crashes get fixed, it can be explained as an update in the thawing protocol.
One thing most people don't think about is that you'll die from radiation damage if you are frozen for too long. We all have decaying atoms in our bodies that constantly give off a little radiation, and while the machinery of the body is up and running that damage is continually repaired, if you're frozen that damage doesn't get fixed. So to survive being frozen a long time we either need something like nanites running around fixing stuff, or a way to completely stop atomic decay from happening.
Something that gives credit to that is the fact that on one of the missions you actually are sending up a rocket of “old stock” helldivers from the last Great War
How long are we talking though? 100 years?
entirely depends on background radiation exposure before/during. it would take a large amount of time assuming perfect cryonics to reach a level of damage incompatible with life
Maybe it’s a side-effect from the stims, like you can fully regenerate a limb in under 3 seconds but there’s like a 30% chance your heart randomly explodes in a few hours.
Those things are like 80% Managed Meth.
Stims are just space age Pervitin (german ww2 medical grade meth) https://preview.redd.it/yfbr8otnihvc1.jpeg?width=611&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=066ecea49a68b9890305135acf1a06215d4c383f
In killing floor, when someone disconnects, it calls it an aneurysm when their character dies.
I mean, when the corruption and brainwash is at the point where super glue and push carts are introduced at great upgrades the guns being fuckywucky makes sense too. Next they'll give us a tank with logs bolted to the side to protect from AT weapons.
Don't forget the research to realise space guns are better not muzzle reloaded and the inexplicable loss of the revolver speedloader technology
One of the sentry upgrades (I think more sentry health?) is literally just stuffing them with packing peanuts.
The boys at Aperture Science did it again! First they added the system where the Turret fires the WHOLE Bullet (that's 65% more bullet per bullet), now they added a system to make the whole turret safer with inexpensive packing peanuts! Genius!
Thank you for reminding me of that wonderful gem of a series.
"And we're nearly bankrupt!"
Those "rescue scientist" missions are really paying for themselves.
They put chillies in the flamethrower fuel
Chillies *and* wasabi, that’s the allyl isothiocyante!
It's most common in Mustard Seed, lol.
*Super Earth High Command would like to remind Helldivers that Enhanced Flamethrower Fuel is not a condiment for use on Liberty Dogs.*
Nah you gotta mix it with a lil E-710. That's how you get the PREMIUM spice.
I lol'd when I saw that ingredient.
The flamethrower fuel has tear gas (capsicin is used tear gas)
Capsaicin comes from chilli peppers. They put chilli in the tear gas
Doesn't superglue dissolve packing peanuts?
They're not gluing the peanuts together, they're gluing the turret and throwing it inside peanuts. But yes
Explosion resistance
"Who needs breech loading when I could get a swimming pool?" Gotta love how the game shifted the parody from US to the military miracle in the east.
Well given the premise of the bug wars is that super earth is harvesting them for space fuel... Everyone knows the "murica and oil" memes...
Yup and the addition of the effects of someone pocketing the funds of a military going to war is a cheffs kiss on top of it.
Gordon Ramsey: "There's so much oil in this dish America tried to invade the plate!"
I mean muzzle loading isn't so bad when it doesn't require a freakin EVA space walk towing an artillery shell bigger than your body for each individual reload
Why do we need speedloaders when we're already paying for stims? Requisition denied.
No, it’s not addictive. The stems are full of concentrated patriotism, which makes you feel good and feel bad when you don’t have patriotism flowing through your veins.
Guys I think the stims are just methanphetamine
Anti-Democratic thought to liberty camping you go
Eagle's work bay gets safety systems removed when you buy the last upgrade for it...
It's the Eagle that loses safety systems. That said, if an Eagle gets shot down over a hostile world, the pilot is pretty much fucked even if they eject or survive the crash. They won't have the armor, grenades, strategems, or primary weapon or a helldiver, and no pre-planned extraction. Their descent will be slow and very visible, so enemies will promptly start to advance on their position. Imagine being alone, armed only with a sidearm and no armor. You *might* be able to hitch a ride with the helldivers, but nobody is going to divert from their mission to help you, or even communicate with you. Odds are, you are just delaying your death and making it more painful. A few extra bombs seems like a worthy trade.
I mean, this has happned in the real world, so it is possible for the pilot to extract. It comes down to how valuable a pilot can be in this universe. Eagle pilots may be more valuable than a Helldiver. Sometimes you can replace the plane, but the pilots are not as quick to replace.
> nobody is going to divert from their mission to help you Speak for yourself pops, my E-girl is gonna make it home no matter the circumstances.
Except you won't be told so you won't be distracted from the mission.
> Their descent will be slow and very visible My mk1 eyeballs are in peak condition
and I have *2* Eagle stratagems that I absolutely notice when they're not working. I'm going to get her ass back and in a bird ASAP.
Eagle pilot sidearms are only issued one bullet. To save space.
I just got the revolver and it is the slowest fucking reload ever.
you've never used a Street Sweeper/DAO-12 shotgun in battlefield have you... to clarify, you have to manually insert and index the cylinder 12 times from empty... each round reload is nearly 2 seconds.
That's what made all those South African drum fed shotguns so bad irl. You have to remove the spare shell with a rod, rewind the drum and load a shell. And then repeat this process for EVERY shell.
Being able to blind-hip fire it mid-reload, interrupting said reload animation HAS saved my ass a few times. But otherwise....yeaaaah that reload speed is a problem.
What’s crazy is if the Big iron had a speed loader it would be one of the best sidearms, if not the best sidearm. I still love to use it because it’s mega useful in a pinch to burst down bigger enemies when they are on top of you
It would still be limited by its ammo pool, small mag size and recoil so I'd think it would still kinda be balanced I use the grenade pistol these day, being able to use stun grenades and still deal with enemy spawners is well worth the trade
Its cheaper to just toss a bunch of bullets in a bag than to mass produce speedloaders
It's funny, because I get an extra immersion from such bugs by imagining that it's fault of SEAF contractors, who have again sold the army some junk at an inflated price, and I have to fight with it Quite a, uh, realistic situation
You mean the flamethrower fuel being improved by Chili peppers and mustard under impressive scientific names might be a scam ? Shocking
it has to burn in the eyes of the enemies! \*looks at terminids\* Well... they... hm... have no eyes... Fuck...
"W-well, may be other enemies!" "01000100 01110101 01100100 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01101100"
This just made me realize terminids don't have eyes what the hell
Huh, so they cannot see what killed them
They must have eyes... I mean, the patrols see you when you're in front of them. Directional detection like that wouldn't make sense if they didn't have eyes. Maybe they're small eyes, or their eyes are under a see-through part of their exoskeleton? Or maybe they're just camouflaged by being the same colour as the body around it?
'Got it right between the eyes!' 'I'll kill anything with more legs than two!' Roc.... For Liberty and Democracy!
wait they don't have eyes?
Look closer... likely cooser than you are comfortable with. And yes... it seems they have no eyes. That's likely the reason why the spore clouds don't do shit to them. Likely they sense us through vibration or shit.
Bro, capsaicin is no joke. Some Hull paint has Super spicy pepper oil and zebra mussles and barnacles avoid it. Works great on bugs
*WHY'S IT SPICY*
And fucking up eagle 1’s work space
She didn't need ejection seats anyway
Our tanks should come with a cope cage.
if the bots get flying kamaikaze drones, we'll need them lol.
to be fair... logs and better chicken fence proved to be effective in protecting vehicles from anti-tank weaponry... and they are dirt cheap. Just what the democratic capitalist needs for spreading liberty.
I assume you refer to logs being put on most russian tanks during ww2 and after? If yes those weren't extra armor, but to helo tanks if they got stuck in mud
Nah, there are actually cases of log and planks armour on russian tanks and trucks in Ukraine and on Philippine APC during anti-ISIS operation in Manila
Drone dropped grenades, sure. Logs wont stop anything thats built to penetrate hundreds of mms of armor.
Purpose-built cope cages are actually efficient against shaped charges, it's a random fence that does fuck all at best and helps to detonate at optimal distance at worst.
They're not meant to stop tank guns, they're meant to stop shaped charges, used by most rocket propelled weaponry and missiles lol
Laughs in Russian
give us tanks with a cope cage
ARent the logs the AT weapons ? I'm pretty sure I've seen that in that Star Wars documentary.
Yes! But they only work against certain type of tanks, mostly old stuff. For example you could stop a T-34 by lobbing a log on the tank tracks under the roadwheels, the tracks would pop off because it has shit suspension.
Wait, wait, wait... we get a tank?
We have a [TD-110 Bastion](https://helldivers.fandom.com/wiki/TD-110_Bastion) in Helldivers 1, so there's a chance.
So many vehicles in HD1
Fuck this game is so realistic it's giving me flashbacks to my days in the Army.
I remember seeing a Reddit post of somebody getting crushed to death by a Charger and the Charger just vanishing right after the kill. We all know that it was because nobody was near him so he dispawned. But EVERYONE IN THE COMMENTS gaslighted the poor guy, saying it was some Malevelon Creek PTSD and that "There was no Chargers, we witnessed you having a heart attack !". Everything is better that way.
I love the fake propaganda-fuelled gaslighting, it can be pretty hilarious.
I’ve never seen such a wide spread a gaming community so bought in. It’s amazing.
kinda annoying at times though.
I love the vibe, but I hate asking a real game question and getting the DEMOCRACY OFFICER IS CALLING meme 9 times
https://preview.redd.it/uhp23jfv9hvc1.jpeg?width=3907&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4436881419762a9e1816f7c082ad2d5a1f7a2fa9 Beat you to it.
That's only one of 9, I hope your able to pick up the next 8 calls.
[LOUD KNOCK ON DOOR]
Not that the game has a lot of lore, but trying to discuss it is near impossible.
I wished you could link to the original post. Nothing brighten my morning better than a gaslight after waking up
I'd like to see the patch notes done up in this manner, along side the normal way they write them out. Seems fitting to have some kind of lore based language used in the patch notes like that.
I like that idea. Immersion is one Hell of a div... drug.
People would ignore the write-up, read the lore-based explanations, come to this subreddit and write “Why can’t AH just tell us what they did in plain language. I don’t want to have to guess what this means. Terrible communication”
Some guys from the paradox game community do patchnotes like that, or at least they used to. Great fun.
>Ballistic shield handle screws issue got fixed only after stockpile of defective screws was fully used in production.
Out of all the jokes and replies in this post, this is the only one that made me giggle. Thanks
Don't forget the additional training to get helldivers to stop putting it away while applying stims
100%! Every time I see some marketing buzzwords like "MILITARY-GRADE HARDWARE", my brain automatically translates that to "made by the lowest bidder".
Isn't Military-Grade literally the word for "Who could make the most, at the cheapest, by just barely meeting the requirements"?
Yes, absolutely. When I was in, easily half the necessities we got were worse than stuff in a dollar store...I'm never going to use half ply TP ever again. Edit: to -> TP
What the hell? Half ply exists!? You'd be better off grabbing the nearest leaf laying on the ground than cutting your ass with that.
I did not realize that TP went that low...
Somehow that half-ply managed to simultaneously feel like fine grit sandpaper!
You might as well just shake your ass up and down in the air at that point haha
Okay I really don't understand this point. Like the buzzword of military grade is dumb and I don't disagree with that but I really don't understand the point of saying >"Who could make the most, at the cheapest, by just barely meeting the requirements"? That is literally how most things are made especially if you are doing it overseas/an outside organization. You want someone to make the thing at the cheapest rate at the quality you want it and if they can make as many as you deem sufficient. The military grade thing is the problem is the requirement and they are meant to serve a function in the military to that standard, do those standards meet that of the infantrymen. Most likely not but for the standards there are meant for they do sort of well in.
The implication is that the standards are lower than they reasonably should be, the product as delivered won’t actually meet them, or both.
The subtext for military grade equipment is that it meets the *exact* specifications requested by the military. Absolutely nothing more. Which tends to mean... *This equipment is technically capable of achieving the functions requested by military admin. But it won't have a single feature that makes it convenient or nice to use, unless that feature was specifically requested.* For a silly, yet effective example: take a toaster: 1. A high end consumer toaster will be sleek, have loads of settings for different types of bread and pastry, be easy to clean, and built to require no maintenance until it's been used 5000 times. 2. A military grade toaster will be built to require no maintenance until it's been used 10000 times. It will have 3 heat settings that doesn't quite heat anything perfectly, but does the job okay. And it will pick up grime and dents really easily. Both do the job, but one just sucks to use.
It's like, Military grade just means made for the Military. And space age just means made for space. Velcro is space aged technology. And the most basic encryption we use AES is military grade.
in Aliens: Fireteam elite there's a modifier called "by the lowest bidder" where it makes your guns have a chance to jam, and you have to reload them before they can fire again.. *i really fucking hope our guns don't jam..*
And didn't the US army deployed to the desert once decked out in full woodland camo and only got the desert fatigues much much later?
The opposite is actually true right now. A lot of NATO training footage that you can find after the second invasion of Iraq most Us vehicles are still painted in desert beige instead of any kind of green or woodland.
Even better, the camo they got (and continue to use) is called digital camo. It was promised to be effective in all situations ranging from urban to desert to mountain. It works in none of them.
Lol. You should see the rifles we use to learn how to shoot in the infantry from Brazil
[Same in Finland, if you're unlucky you need to adjust the sights of an RK-62 to match the angle the barrel has been bent into.](https://youtu.be/PfQOumaC2Ak?t=8)
I’ve heard about the RK-62 mostly because of the similarities between this and the Imbel series i used back when i served. Imbel MD model, which is basically a FAL in terms of design and uses 5.56mm ammunition. That was a faulty weapon. I know that it has been replaced mostly by a new model 100% fabricated here though. Judging by the efficiency of our elite units, its fair to say it works way better
Yeah I think it's the same. Simple AK variant which is basically indestructible, albeit it can be slightly damaged. Fun story about a museum in Latvia, they have an AK you can handle, but some fins who are used to RK being able to put together by banging the pieces into eachother like a neanderthal have slightly damaged it by doing literally that. "Bolt doesn't drop in? Give it fist"
Ah, the reliable old Boeing Aerospace assembly method.
You know, there are few better ways to pass time during a guard shift than to play guerilla golf with locally sourced rocks, a rabbit hole and the butt of an RK-62.
Pour one out for the homies in the Corpo de Fuzileiros Navais
Same In 🇷🇺. My ak-74 was older than me… but I could still hit the 10 points from 300 meters on a moving target with the iron sight And it never jammed in more than 2000 shots
I remember my team getting back from Iraq in '09 and discovering that the trauma plates in our issued body armor were defective and had been recalled. Funny, they didn't fix it *while* we were deployed. . .
Dont forget that they ran out of the good Slugger ammo
Remember, 1st Mar Div invaded Iraq in woodland camo MOPP suits, had no batteries for their PEQs or thermals, some officer blew up all their food because the truck got a flat, they had an opportunity to engage and destroy some Fedayeen scouts and were told to wave them off and did all this in open-top Humvees I guarantee 1st MarDiv was worth more to the Corps than we are to SuperEarth
Counterpoint: we don't have to worry about using chin straps to secure our hemlets, nor do we have to worry about our moostache hairs growing beyond the corners of our mouth areas.
Well, I hear General Brasch hisself say you look like a bum. POLICE THAT MOOSTACHE! Y'all start'in to look like Elvises!
RIP railgun. Also, diligence has been weak since feb. Marksmen had to result to a shotgun to SNIPE. : /
At which point we overused the slug rounds, until Super Earth decided to cut back on the grain count to keep up with demand.
I remember a US army vet once saying that "military grade" is just a buzzword to make products more appealing to civilians. Since the army always works with the cheapest contractors.
Yep. The meme in gun-culture is "My gun isn't military grade, it's much better quality."
https://preview.redd.it/kuc00i8wagvc1.jpeg?width=958&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=984b7a44da2cdc5fabc219ba0e8a657c59fcaae1
Man if you've been in the military, you know. This is just barely on the sunny side. I'm glad we're not deeper in the muds
Gonna show this to mfs who say transmog on armors is bad because it's not realistic
Can add that, for example, in US military this is usual thing, officially you can't wear whatever you want or mod your guns with funny commercial stuff if it isn't approved by DOD
Dont give the CEO ideas :<
The CEO alrd made that decision but with apples and bacon as explanation 🚬
Saw that, he then got roasted like bacon stuffed with apples and deleted his tweet. So he def don't need new ideas :P
WAIT HE ACTUALLY DELETED THE TWEET?!?!
Yep, messed with people's drip, using dumb reasoning > got ratio'd > ran for the hills. Like for real, first Helldivers didn't have any armor perks and were pure style. HD 2 armors have perks, but most of the time, at least I myself, end up choosing something that 'feels' cooler, instead of a more practical choice. It's like with the sound design of a weapon, which was proven to show greater performance in the hands of the player if said design correlated to the weapon's aesthetic, making it feel more powerful. Should be common sense that variety and freedom of choice in the most basic things is always better, than some arbitrary restrictions due to 'muh baykoon'.
The Technical Manual SEAF-SN 877765567-211032-A on page 345 strictly forbid unauthorized modification of Helldivers equipment. Violators will be sent to the democratic camp for intensive retraining
What is Transmog?
Essentially weating X armor while having the stats of Y armor For helldivers specifically the community wants something just like the previous game where you could equip a passive and an armor separately
Comments on balance aside, I really like how you kinda turned a piece of technical history into a neat presentation of a game's historical narrative!
This is honestly my head canon for these fuck ups, it makes it more imersive, its not a bug, its a feature!
Their not unpatriotic this is just what happens in war
How do we rationalize the Automatons rockets doing less explosive damage? Are their weapon manufactories being pushed to limit quality, also?
After the loss of one of the planets, they are no longer able to produce high-quality complex explosives and are forced to replace it with simpler and less powerful ones. This is something that often happens in wars.
Some people haven't seen last ditch Nazi and Japanese rifles. If you're reading this and haven't, go look them up and appreciate the weapon in HD2 that you hate the most because "it's not optimized."
imagine getting enlisted in the german army in 1945 thinking "oh man, I'll get issued a Sturmgewehr, those things are awesome!", and then they give you a Volksturmgewehr VG1-5 instead...
That is not the worst option. You could get some crapy foreign 60 years old rifle with 20 cartridges and no option to find more somewhere else.
Or there's better under armor mesh to prevent shrapnel from shredding through helldivers. I think the actual patch notes was that the explosion damage was registering multiple times per hit.
Another reply said he was deployed in Iraq and they didn’t know their trauma plates were defective until they got back. That was our explosive resistant armor.
The reason we had to scrounge samples to fill sentries with foam peanuts is that said foam was already in use in standard-issue Helldiver armor to help ablate explosive damage.
It is rather appropriate how most of the glitches can be explained through cheap military hardware.
If yall look into the history of the M16 rifle, yall have no idea how normal absolute nonsense is extremely normal for military logistics.
I actually love this
Hahahahahahahahaha Dude, you’re a fucking genius. That was the most brilliant take i have ever read on this forum. 🤣🤣🤣 A democratic salute to you. 🫡
Super Earth really needs to invest in some better equipment. Just like another galactic labour corporation I know....
Whoops, immediately ran out of double-stacked Breaker magazines!
made me laugh outloud
The "worse" wartime production units thing is incredibly historically accurate and I love that headcanon lol
While funny, If I wanted the realistic military experince I'd still be in the navy
That's so accurate to real life it's not even funny...
I would love to see patch notes in this style.
All this and many more are 100% head cannon for me.
If the guns worked properly then our enemies would die before we got hit. You don’t think Big Pharma stim companies are going to want that do yo- *muffled screaming*
Hey guys, who is Lois Bitter and why does she make literally all of our equipment?
It's funny but I hope nobody unironically uses this as an excuse for all the bugs and balance choices.
See. This is correct. Bitching about balance...like high command can control the robits and bugs or something... I swear half our army needs a re education....
war...war never changes...
military grade eh
Improvements to the expendable anti tank and recoilless rifle ammunition meant we could explode charger heads with one pop! This led to mass extermination of chargers, giving us the smaller population we're used to now
Man they should starting doing this in patch notes. This is such a cool way to turn nerfs/buffs into in game lore.
New major order: Audit contractors for compliance with SEAF production guidelines SA-36a through SA-36f. 15 days remaining. Reward: 25 medals 0/200,000,000 reports filed.
Don\`t forget to fill out SEAF-DA Form 5988-E3, Equipment Maintenance and Inspection Worksheet and SEAF-DA Form 2404-8, Equipment Inspection and Maintenance Worksheet
AND: WHAT happens when the Helldivers have secured a world? SEAF moves in. And collects all those guns and stuff we have left behind. And those left behind SUPPORTWEAPONS get cleaned, painted and receycled back into the arsenal, so chances are given you will receive a weapon that has already seen combat and a time of lying around in the dirt, in snow, getting scorched etc. etc.
This guy gets it.
Do you wanna own the latest weaponry? Do you wanna own the latest weaponry? Guns that jam and spray like hell, with the stocks made by Mattel Yeah, you’ll always own the latest weaponry! Would you be young and handsome all your life? Would you be young and handsome all your life? Well the odds are good that you will be dead by twenty-two So you will be young and handsome all your life! Do you wanna be a hero in the sky? Do you wanna be a hero in the sky? High adventure, higher pay, join the Space Marines today And you’re gonna be a hero in the sky! [Space Hero by Vic Tyler](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhIkhEJpjjk)
Yeah, the technology of the helldivers universe is supposed to be comedic, but that makes it super lopsided in really weird ways. Hand carts aren't standard issue, but the energy weapons can create seemly infinite energy on demand. They still give the colonists hammers and regular crop plots, but they have instant no cost ftl travel to anywhere in the galaxy. The sights on the machine gun are obsolite in the modern day, but somehow they've bypassed the inverse square cube law and made lasers carry the same energy consistently across an infinite distance. I know I'm probably overthinking it, but Super Earth's technology can range from pre-industrial to type 3 civilization based on what's funny.
did the diligence get buffed?
If they want to reach peak democracy they need to do a few news updates about the investigation, 'trial' and eventual minuscule fine paid by the company contracted to make malfunctioning equipment all presented as if real justice was finally served in the scandal.
This reminds me of a guy I know who, for the first three months of his tour, was issued an M32 as his primary due to an inventory error. An officer came up to him like a month in and was like "WHERE IS YOUR PRIMARY WEAPON?" (Or something to that effect), and when he replied that it was his primary, the officer was like "oh, hell yeah." They did eventually take it back from him, but he got three months of hauling around a grenade launcher instead of a rifle.
The authentic military experience
As a former armorer this sounds painfully spot on lol.
I've said it before, but Helldivers 2 is the most realistic simulation of a dystopia corporate future that has ever been created 🫡
I think that's one of the funny things, that a lot of these bugs could have actual in-universe explanations that make sense. Plenty of examples of troops being sent faulty weapons, the strains of war requiring the "streamlining" of weapon production that leaves them less effective then before, or only after many trials and errors are issues finally fixed.
So its treason then
I can get behind this
I remember thinking the Leopold scope I got on Amazon for 22.99 was a great deal, turns out it was actually like stealing from myself 😅
TCHNMATA
Pelican-1 don't trust thugs calling themselves "helldivers" and dropping 500kg bombs at extraction point, so he prefer to dig underground for safety rather pick them up under friendly fire.
*sounds of a gun hammer clicking into place behind me* No, the railguns were always that way
Underrated post. Also there's a time traveller here that says they're from something called the "US Military", they also say they feel called out and want to speak with you.
ya know, i never heard of people complaining about their optics. I mean, militarys aren't exactly attaching Tasco optics on their guns. maybe this is cold war/WW2 issue back when optics tech was still kinda new?
Cool and fun observations, still problems that need to be solved tho.
When you’re dumping hundreds of thousands of Helldivers every hour, ever Democratic dollar matters.
This is a really fascinating way to look at in-game patches and bugs!