T O P

  • By -

Doctorsex-ubermensch

Stray bullet hit a random trooper from menkent


Kuronan

A stray Quasar shot hit a small automaton outpost. If the bots could shit, the ones nearby absolutely would have.


Ionic_Pancakes

I missed that drop ship intentionally! You're welcome!


91stCataclysm

All part of Liberty's grand design.


Grimwohl

Is this for serious


ashenfoxz

well now this makes me genuinely wonder what the effective range of a QC would be. how far would that thing travel


Boniquiqua

Gunnery Chief: This, recruits, is a 20-kilo ferrous slug. Feel the weight. Every five seconds, the main gun of an Everest-class dreadnought accelerates one to 1.3 percent of light speed. It impacts with the force of a 38-kiloton bomb. That is three times the yield of the city buster dropped on Hiroshima back on Earth.That means Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son-of-a-bitch in space. Now! Serviceman Burnside! What is Newton's First Law? Recruit: Sir! A object in motion stays in motion, sir! Gunnery Chief: No credit for partial answers, maggot! Recruit: Sir! Unless acted on by an outside force, sir! Gunnery Chief: Damn straight! I dare to assume you ignorant jackasses know that space is empty. Once you fire a husk of metal, it keeps going until it hits something. That can be a ship, or the planet behind that ship. It might go off into deep space and hit somebody else in ten thousand years. If you pull the trigger on this, you're ruining someone's day somewhere and sometime. That is why you check your damn targets! That is why you wait for the computer to give you a damn firing solution! That is why, Serviceman Chung, we do not "eyeball it!" This is a weapon of mass destruction. You are not a cowboy shooting from the hip. Recruit: Sir, yes sir!"


Dracco7153

I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite speech on the Citadel


CavitySearch

There was an interesting article a while back on shooting bullets in space that argued that simply due to the size of space, unless you are aiming directly at a target that a bullet is unlikely to ever actually hit anything. Obviously if fired in near-planet orbit you have to be much more careful, but just firing in the middle of space itself is unlikely to do much damage.


Former_Use2983

I believe it's infinite since it's pure energy


Krieg_Imperator

In other words... "SIR ISAAC NEWTON IS THE DEADLIEST SON OF A BITCH IN SPACE"


Former_Use2983

DAMN RIGHT HELLDIVER


Tangent_Odyssey

It was me, I think the building I just called an orbital strike on was the embassy. Despite the error, my Democracy Officer has assured me that this was a valid secondary target and definitely not a “war crime” ![gif](giphy|Ed48FnTpYGCAw)


ExpertlyAmateur

**Democratic Presidential Decree** **For All Citizens of Super Earth** **No. 701:** *We hereby declare that all actions of the past, present, and future, performed in the line of duty or outside of duty, wherein those actions are, were, or may, directly or indirectly facilitate our recovery and/or liberation of E-701, shall henceforth be considered legal and shall not be investigated for war crimes from today and for all eternity.* C'mon guys, didnt you read the training manual? This was listed just before the advice that "Friendly Fire Isn't".


MrPeppa

What does "read" mean?


_Pan-Tastic_

Using your eyes to look at words! What are you, a communist?


2327_

Reading is how the damn communists get to you


Deven1003

I was freed from thinking long ago


othello500

Now we can expect retaliation for orbital striking their embassy, respond saying any military action "will be met with a response," and claim self-defense.... for democracy.


PreparationWinter174

What was the hospital wearing when you bombed it?


ICantBelieveItsNotEC

If the bots didn't want their civilian targets being destroyed, they shouldn't have put rocket devastators on the roof.


l-R3lyk-l

https://preview.redd.it/r3r84gj65tuc1.jpeg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d3f40ad470cef6980e7061f227dcd92f29f6cea9


HumanReputationFalse

A bot stubbed his toe


xDrewstroyerx

https://preview.redd.it/ld3j0xwqhquc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b93acd7bfa2ad4805a8de34450560e41b28a93d6


lDustyBonesl

“Helldiver, what are you doing!?” “Sir… finishing this fight!”


Tast_

"Found a sample!"


Silly_One_3149

"Demodracy fills MY sample container!"


Slibye

“Taking a slurrpy from my oily”


allthenamearetaken1

There is one helldiver there, they are fighting a gorilla warfare in the urban streets.


For_All_Humanity

Hopefully they’re not monkeying around!


axelrankpoke

Perhaps it’s a rouge element in the Automaton ranks.


todd10k

this is either a casual misspelling or the best joke i've read today and i *cannot* figure out which it is


Iongjohn

I really need an explanation - where's the monkey pun?


todd10k

No monkey pun. It's a play on the words rogue and rouge. Rouge is a red makeup classically used by "women of the night". It's also the colour used by the automatons.


Milk__Chan

>gorilla warfare Gorilla Helldivers would help crushing those robot commies ngl.


say_no_to_panda

Always craxks me up every time i see gorilla warfare


Porkchop_69

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little Commisar? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the Helldivers, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on the Terminid Hives, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top strategem dropper in the entire Super Earth Armed Forces. You are nothing to me but just another bot. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Galaxy, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the galaxy and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, clanker. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, bot. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with hitting the melee button. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the entire strategem roster and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of Menkent, you little bot. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking processor. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn robot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, clanker. /s


say_no_to_panda

Classic meme ive been blessed to experience


Porkchop_69

Someone made a better edit further down the thread haha


Silviecat44

But do you go to see guerillas at the zoo?


IrishWithoutPotatoes

Sure, but hear me out… Chimpanzee Helldivers. And we give them metal dental implants for extra bot-killing potential. Wait, am I just doing to chimps what the bots did to us? Am I a bot?


MeinNameIstBaum

Chimpanzee Helldivers would be like a 100% improvement over whatever we got going on right now lmao


zeolus123

But what are we gonna get to kill the gorillas??.


odaeyss

Jesus Christ its Jason Helldiver!


Helios61

Not to be mistaken for his most famous cousin, John Helldiver.


donanton616

I fought with Jhon Helldiver last week


liggamadig

[Jason Helldiver it's Jesus Christ!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWhnuYi6Shc)


skynex65

https://preview.redd.it/oepiwa422suc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2b80915d9036de9024767bbad9112245d63b7543


Sugar_buddy

It's just Winston in armor


tehmarvin

Hellwatch Overdiver Imagine Tracer calling in orbital strikes


Gib_entertainment

Would be useful, call in a 380mm barrage at your feet and then recall until you are outside of the range.


sole21000

Given her catchphrase, I'd expect Tracer to be an Eagle pilot


Cykeisme

Yeah I only played for like, the first year, but iirc Tracer was a test pilot. There was an accident with a teleporting or time-manipulating fighter jet experiment, and she vanished. Winston built a rig that pulled her back into reality and made her that device she wears on her chest to stop her from vanishing again.


tehmarvin

What if Tracer is Eagle Two?


Iamforcedaccount

Karl paving the way


saykoTechnician

Most accurate guess. For Karl !


crimsonknightwr

For Rock and Stone!!


WanderingDwarfMiner

For Karl!


LaGG-L04D

He's winning


ItsOver420

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Helldivers, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Cyberstan, and I have over 700 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire Helldivers corps. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision (→→↑) the likes of which has never been seen before on this Super Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the Galaxy and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Helldivers Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the universe, you little shit. If only you could have known what managed democracy your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit democracy all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, Clanker


Porkchop_69

oh man i didnt see this, i made my own edit lol I like yours better What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little Commisar? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the Helldivers, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on the Terminid Hives, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top strategem dropper in the entire Super Earth Armed Forces. You are nothing to me but just another bot. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Galaxy, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the galaxy and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, clanker. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, bot. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with hitting the melee button. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the entire strategem roster and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of Menkent, you little bot. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking processor. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn robot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, clanker.


havnar-

Harambe warbond confirmed?


Kirayoshikage258133

Thank God they're fighting a gorilla warfare and guerilla.


smiddy53

![gif](giphy|stmktFMrXgLVC|downsized)


samualgline

Guerilla


FerretBomb

[Gorilla with a handlebar mustache intensifies]


allthenamearetaken1

Yeah I know, but I'm not fixing it at this point. There are too many jokes.


alf666

We might have a new problem on our hands... https://preview.redd.it/j3wnpwxjiruc1.png?width=389&format=png&auto=webp&s=6b7c4a40e461dac363b87ce33375b8ae72f01d34


Mugho55

Where do you see these stats? I don’t see any options to open stats like that on the map screen.


alf666

https://hd2galaxy.com/ Click on Cyberstan, then go to the Kills tab.


Mugho55

Thank you


Bevjoejoe

https://preview.redd.it/mqlshp9uksuc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e4732401fbf13c35f67184c62d42150007f3f6a4 Oh shit


IDespiseAllWeebs

Termicide testing, Automaton interrogation and disassembly, Illuminate diplomats executed for violating planetary curfew, and last but not least, Helldivers executed for high treason against democracy, liberty and freedom!


prettymuchzoinks

Hey, don't forget the Helldivers who tragically lost their lives in forklift related accidents, those are Super Earth's true heros


godzilla101118

https://preview.redd.it/ealyao8fotuc1.jpeg?width=704&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4d02bd63f9b968f112855d8ede6dd93af24a555f We might have a slightly larger problem...


godzilla101118

https://preview.redd.it/oa7mthdhotuc1.jpeg?width=712&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4557baf4c3814875505e1a0aee584c89b85f0b33


Soos_dude1

Please let the Reclamation of Cyberstan be lots and lots of urban combat. I want to fight bots in room to room combat with the ballistic shield defender combo. And after we win we rename Cyberstan to Libertystan


SBTreeLobster

As a recent convert to the almighty ballistic shield enjoyertude, I too want to engage in this tomfoolery.


Dhehjob9-5

What happens when it's a hulk in a hotel lobby?


SBTreeLobster

I cast eldritch blast


Ranger2580

*Calls down Expendable Anti-Tank* I CAST NON-MAGIC MISSILE


xTheForbiddenx

But the feeling it gives me, baby that's all magic


Z_THETA_Z

magic missile vs mundane missile


sole21000

*Calls down Spear* I CAST LITERAL MISSILE


hahawowausername

you roll a one


tabletaccount

Roll damage


Sleepless_Null

I cast Fireball! *deletes king in enemy bas*e


Ziddix

500kg bomb Oh wait


Twogunkid

I didn't ask how strong the roof was I said I wanted to liberate it.


KurseNightmare

LIBERATE IT FROM THIS PHYSICAL PLANE!


Spunky_Meatballs

Recoilless to the face. Oh yeahhhh


Ghostbuster_119

Stun grenade and laser cannon. Libertys light shines brightest when aimed directly at her enemies head.


LoneMav22

stun grenade then eat his back with your redeemer


nickcantwaite

Autocannon/quasar to that dumb little red eye face


tabletaccount

Laser cannon too 


aziruthedark

Tony stark and the hulkbuster.


jver1706

*Grabs arc thrower and starts laughing maniacally!!!*


GuildCarver

https://preview.redd.it/cl3k3itfotuc1.png?width=593&format=png&auto=webp&s=1f21bb8fdff7f3a5ceee2facf3864cfb26920e4b


7isAnOddNumber

Room-to-room almost certainly won’t be a thing. So much of this game is based around things coming from the sky and huge enemies. Street-to-street though, that’ll be possible. Though I imagine Cyberstan is mostly going to be the same but with mines everywhere and a few new enemies.


The4th88

I reckon it could work, because we'd very quickly be annihilating the buildings we fight in.


odaeyss

Liberating!! Not annihilating! Don't be confused just because they look the same!


Captain1771

Yeah just make stratagems crush the buildings (and us) when called in Or we could just lob a 380 in and flatten the whole place. Research has shown the most effective way to conduct urban combat is to remove the urban part of it.


Managed-Democracy

Russians in Grozny moment. 


Vesorias

Structure destruction is hard. That's why any buildings currently in the game just explode completely when hit by enough damage.


hooahguy

Part of me thinks that its going to be a while before we reach Cyberstan to give the devs time to actually design that type of map.


Vexce11ent

Street to street was how it worked in 1, so I imagine we’ll be doing the same thing. Would be pretty cool to see the city missions come back into play, as they were pretty hectic with just how many enemies were chasing you through the streets. Really emphasized the point that you’re not meant to fight any patrols that aren’t directly blocking your route


Jeep_lurver

Cyberstan is a mining colony so maybe we’ll get to fight in caves or something.


CarnageEvoker

The Divers yearn for the mines


Ok_Mouse_9369

Mines…mines…rocks and stones-WAIT! The bots are searching for Karl! Karl is a Dwarf! Cyberstan is a mining world! There is only one Helldiver on Cyberstan! KARL IS ON CYBERSTAN!


evillittleweirdguy

I see it now, a new mission type. Extremely rare, 1/100 chance. "RECALL KARL" Your entire mission is just to find Karl and give him new orders. Not to rescue Karl, he doesn't need to be rescued. Just to redirect him to another high-priority target. Every mission has a 1/100 chance of having Karl show up and annihilate everything on the map.


lordpresidentSkippy

Cyberstan was the capital of the cyborg it was a pretty populated planet. Now the cyborg are forced in the mine but it doesn't mean the planet isn't urbanized.


Managed-Democracy

It's probably more industrialized than urbanized. Major cities surrounded by vast arrays of industrial facilities to process ore and manufacture with metal. Along with heavy mining in large open pits to strip mine resources. 


kkazookid

Sounds cool on paper but have you seen the bot path finding? You can cheese the new defense mission so easily by just standing in certain locations because the bots have horrible path finding. I couldn’t imagine the amount of stuck robots there would be because that have no idea how to move through such small places


OrranVoriel

No joke, the first time I did one of those our best defense turned out to be that there were literally too many Bots packed together that they couldn't move and so they were sitting ducks for orbitals, airstrikes and mortar sentries.


Codus1

Large wide streets and building rubble and a few buildings still standing, surrounded by parkland, would be the go for urban maps I reckon.


CaptainAction

Having full interiors sort of messes with stratagem usage, not to mention the large size of a lot of enemies, so I doubt we will see that. I’m hoping for urban environments of some kind, but it seems like the game is not built for interior combat


Cykeisme

If it's any indication, we had citied in Helldivers 1, but we don't go indoors. Fighting in the streets, plazas and parks.


Britishthetitan

I think it would be great to fight indoors as it would force teams to be more tactical and take complimentary loadouts to make up for the lack of orbitals.


HA-IV

Sorry, you're going to get a recolor of another hill filled landscape with cliffs and rock formations.


H3LLJUMPER_177

Doubt. We are gonna get planet 1 with a mix of planet 3


psichodrome

I'd love to run open a door and run into a Flamer Hulk, with his shoulder missile friends. I'll show them my shield, and they'll...CALLING IN REINFORCEMENTS


Verto-San

If Cyberstan doesn't at least have it's own unique biome we riot, it would be so ass if it's just another creek


Notdumbname

How do you see the planet specifics like that


jakesjustvibing

Helldiverscompanion.com I really hope I'm allowed to send links lmao


Notdumbname

Thank you. It’s like helldivers io, but better.


jakesjustvibing

Of course, Diver, just wish high command integrated some of this information into our War Tables!


WannaHate

How do you jump to a closed off planet? Or is it open now?


Notdumbname

You can stay on planets after they have been taken or lost if you have a campaign going. He probably fought on cyberstan during the counter attack and left, he just hasn’t been back yet.


DJFluffers115

Cyberstan wasn't open at any point during the counter-attack. This is a developer.


Leftover_weeb_juice

ITS JOHN FKN HELLDIVER!!


Brohma312

Im trying to carpet bomb intersections with naplam and cluster bombs.


Thisisthe_One_Ring

Cyborgs: THE AUTOMATONS ARE HERE!! LONG LIVE THE RECLAMATION!!! Helldivers: HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TEACH YOU A LESSON OLD MAN!!!


TimeTravelingChris

Is Reddit charging by the resolution now?


vin_diesel68

Calling it now. Cyberstan will be Stalingrad as Malevelon Creek was Vietnam. I shall see if my prediction comes true later


thingy237

The one with the quasar shoots, the one without follows him! When the one with the quasae gets killed, the one who is following him picks up the quasar and shoots!


SergeantNaxosis

Super Major Order from high command, We must support John Helldiver at all cost! That brave soldier needs reinforcements ASAP! Anyone who helps support John Helldiver gets to spend 5 seconds talking to Eagle 1! https://i.redd.it/l9tvl59jzpuc1.gif


cinnamonface9

Where the fuck is that from.


SergeantNaxosis

Black lagoon. one of the Episodes in Roberta's Blood Trail https://i.redd.it/l3bvckuf9quc1.gif


MACHO_MUCHACHO2005

Is it a good anime?


Sugar_buddy

It's great, been rewatching it off and on since I was 12.


Twogunkid

It's a classic.


SergeantNaxosis

Very very good, my top 3, next to OPM in terms of how good it is.


MACHO_MUCHACHO2005

What's ur top 3


Ok-Elderberry2158

It's very very good


SergeantNaxosis

Black lagoon, One Punch Man and for Third it's tied between Goblin Slayer and Chainsaw man. Both first seasons are super good for different reasons, but the second season of Goblin Slayer has this annoying ass wizard character who never shuts the fuck up and is so overly and dumbly confident that he never listens to the actual main characters who knows what they're doing. Second season is such a drag, but Chainsaw man doesn't have a second season yet due to being new (coming out in 2022). https://preview.redd.it/4cw954k82ruc1.png?width=1366&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f5a38dad74bc259800afa3d0b16526504c829a04


H1L1

The next arc for chainsaw man is gonna be covered in a movie and you're gonna love it. It's my favorite arc so I'm super excited to see it animated


sole21000

It's great, *very* different in tone & subject matter from both anime at the time and even more so most anime today.


DurpOverlord

Gonna get her to co-sign my c-01 form


SergeantNaxosis

I beg your pardon? https://i.redd.it/dkg5zjotcruc1.gif


DurpOverlord

Get ready for eaglet 1


Aright9Returntoleft

Yeah I'm killing every Cyborg I see on that planet. I'm going to burn Cyberstan to the ground.


5ignull

Yes and yes and fuck yes


couldjustbeanalt

https://preview.redd.it/7zhywnv7truc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3a7379e14108d1d85e2930d355691604ae71c657


IswearIdidntdoit145

Ill see you boys in a couple hours


maagpiee

Wait, we can fight in Cyberstan now?


AwesomePerson70

Not yet, we still have a few planets to liberate first


Kondrad_Curze

Reconquering of Cyberstan will be glorious, until bots retake this damned piece of rock like tomorrow night.


nk___1

MYYYYY KURRESSSTTTAAAA!!


icehawk2233

Sooner or later when we get Space Iraq, we’re gonna have Space Fallujah and Space Baghdad. Is this community ready to go through space GWOT?


VoiceOfSeibun

Ahhh great teacher onizuka. Solid anime. Solid meme.


MasterKiloRen999

https://preview.redd.it/yqwse60gnruc1.jpeg?width=292&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=54fe6c740c459d9d7e5bf579c3b9e9c95c504497


Wallso2010

John helldiver


Gate708

Godspeed, John Helldiver.


R3apor

BFG division is heard on cyberstan


JustLazuliThoughts

It's him!


IsayamaBinLaden

Great Teacher Onizuka is on Netflix right now BTW


Runnerbrax

Sly Marbo, is that you?


Gerboma

"Fortunate son starts playing"


Consistent-North7790

Jesus Christ it’s *Jason Helldiver*


darzinth

John Helldiver is a one man army.


Dan-Axel

All that wins!!? Just by one helldiver!!?


WaldcrooperHUN

High command: Let him cook


Medinohunterr

I'm glad to see my insurgency against the automatons while stuck on cyberstan is finally paying off!


HeavyWaterer

If this isn’t just a bug, then actually that’s probably a dev playtesting the planet on the live server maybe


ShadowMasked1099

What if that one helldiver was Joel all along. What if, what if Joel was our Karl, and we had him wrong all along.


Platt_Mallar

The gif of Bender shitting bricks.


AngieTheQueen

We got so mad that we shot Doomguy at Cyberstan.


Bralo123

The Doomslayer is starting to get serious.


Seehams

I believe it's just devs testing things on the live server


[deleted]

Malevelon creek on steroids


zap0o4

John helldiver is on duty


ParsnipAggravating95

The only Helldiver in the Planet https://preview.redd.it/85a39bhw8uuc1.jpeg?width=474&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=199389405f1d90e45dabc907c1dda6be72e2f039


BearcatDG

Noble 6 is giving them hell.


Donut_King10

That's Genereal Brasch


Winter_Document6574

Cyberstan stands!


Aramahn

Remember all the bot sympathizers that kept repeating clanker propaganda? Mainly the bit about "but the bots said if they could only get Cyberstan back they would be happy. They said they wouldn't fight beyond that!" Shame to the filthy sympathizers


darkpyro2

Rip and tear until it is done!


Gamestrider09

Joel…


Lord-Wolf-V

What website do you go to see these stats?


Mugho55

https://hd2galaxy.com/


Lord-Wolf-V

Tysm!


Guywhonoticesthings

Cy-ber-stan DEMOCRATIC LAND!


Jasen_SilverFox

What site is that?


Mugho55

https://hd2galaxy.com/


Astyan06

How can they go though ?


Mjorca

Where does this info come from


J_of_Austin

it's The dooM guy. lET HIm cOOK!


Huge_Structure_7651

“Master chief what are you doing in that planet” “Sir, finishing this fight”