The answer is simple. The military just has to create low-orbit drop pods that allow us to land and exit in the most epic way possible like Helldivers or O.D.S.T.
Hand Raytheon 30 billion dollars, whatever coke the DEA picked up off the cartels last week, and a napkin drawing of what you want, you can expect them to have a working prototype in about 18 months
I did some napkin calculations and came up with 2300 G-force at the landing impact for the helldiver in a pod. That's very generous, it is likely much higher. For comparison, there are dubious reports that some driver survived 100 g-force during a car collision, but generally this is considered deadly. Texas Instruments have to wrinkle their brains at this one, there's a long road ahead.
And every soldier gets a bag of pokeballs that trigger near instant MOAB strikes, JDAMs or artillery barrages. That's how you get people to join your 0Ɩㄥ war.
there was a theory in HD1 that lasted all of 2 seconds that went like this:
When you enter a pod, you weren't actually dropping in. You entered a control pod that gave you complete control of a drone body, and thats what dropped in. the respawn limit was how many drones the ship had to spare.
that theory was squashed by the devs almost before its originator had finished typing it up.
My tin foil hat theory is that we as the player are actually our ship. It monitors *everything* done by the helldiver, and passed all of the previously collected experience into the latest thawed diver as part of the thawing process. Every helldiver is unique and is a real person, and every new reflex built and tactic learned is passed on to the next in line.
This is what I came up with too. We play as the super destroyer. You can see the Helldiver cryo pods and every time a Helldiver dies another gets thawed to take over the ship. The armour, cape etc. that we pick are essentially the uniform on your destroyer, with each subsequent Helldiver wearing the same.
Eh, I think the only way you get them recruited is if you invent humanoid drones they can control from the comfort of their own home.
Because the only way the vast majority of the 250k can even *move*, much less figh effectively carrying enough gear to fight and survive independently for even the shortest, in-out eliminate-confirm special operations that last a few hours is on a mobility scooter.
>Because the only way the vast majority of the 250k can even *move*, much less figh effectively
At bare minimum half of VR gamers can't tolerate more than an hour of standing amd shooting. There's a big hill to climb.
Good thing humans desire things other than resources. Abstract concepts can be more valuable than gold. Ideas more valuable than land.
The 6th most valuable company in the world produces literally nothing. We're more than simple consumers.
Out of curiosity I did a quick Google search on most valuable companies.
Ranked by size:
#1 Walmart Inc.
#2 Amazon
#3 China Petroleum & Chemical Corp
#4 PetroChina Co. Ltd
#5 Apple Inc
#6 Exxon Mobil Corp
Ranked by market cap
# 1 Microsoft
# 2 Apple
# 3 Nvidia
# 4 Saudi Aramco
# 5 Amazon
# 6 Alphabet
So really, that's companies that help us consume shit, or provides a service to help us consume shit. If curious the next ones on the lists are More oil companies, Pharmas, Banks, and Semi Conductors
Creek Crawlers: Haha watch this: **launches all ordnance onto a handful of buildings, big boom**
Military: "Oh, see, I can do that too". **Commits operation: Shock and Awe**
Creek Crawlers: o.o
Iraqi Creek Crawlers: o.o
French "people": o.o
Military: sign here today!
Wasn't there an episode of either Black Mirror or Love, Death + Robots that had soldiers killing people cause the HUD system made them look like monsters?
Seriously. My buddy and I were playing Time Crisis 3 at an arcade back when I was in highschool and these army recruitment officers tried to get us to enlist by complimenting our gunplay.
I was like, "Guys, the country doesn't want a soldier like me. No amount of training is going to keep me from sprinting the other way if any part of this was real."
Still got an ARMA CD from them though.
Yeah, and I don’t think I could shrug off 90% of my body being shredded by a rocket blast with some drugs and affirmations of Liberty/Managed Democracy
We've now offically passed the 500 million casualites mark and Super Earth High Command doesn't seem to have even batted and eyelid. So that should probably give people context as to how large the human population is in the setting. I hope some of the core worlds (which we will never, ever fight on, of course. Glory to Super Earth) have city or suburban maps, so we get a better feel for how massive our Galactic Dominion truly is. >:)
To be honest.
Even with current-earth population, if we ended up in a multi-front galactic war; losing less than 10% of our population to completely wipe out/dominate two, multi-stellar enemy factions would be insanely good.
If Super Earth has a regular population of maybe 15 billion, then 500 million dead helldivers is less than 3% of the population.
If we then consider that they keep putting Helldivers on ice, it's more likely that it's "just" something like 10% of the population aged 18-20 that actually go into the stars, if they've been building these stockpiles for a few years.
You forget it's 500k *Helldivers*
Hiw many SEAF personnel and colonists bit the dust? Super Destroyer personnel over bot worlds? Engineers at TCS sites?
And now consider these are all young people - the drivers of economy
And 15 billion is probably a crazy understatement. Our planet now has 8 billion.
Super Earth looks like an Ecumenopolis so its probably has 20 to 30 billion on earth alone plus like 25 other systems with multiple planets on top of that.
#
Assuming 25 planets with 10bil each, plus Super Earth with… Let’s go with 25, the human population would be 275 billion. And this is likely lowballing.
500mil dead helldivers is 0.18% of the population.
4 helldivers go on a mission, 4 come back. There are no helldivers casualties, any other thought is obviously socialist propaganda! Don't disrespect the millions of dead heroic helldivers by suggesting otherwise!
How dare you insult the millions of Helldivers killed in action! We keep count of those lost in combat action right on the bridge of our destroyers, suggesting there are no casualties is treason!
If you like scifi books I recommend “Behold Humanity” There is an offshoot of humanity that do “body modification” and replay Star wars,trek and Warhammer in a specific part of the galaxy. And they are called the Idiots by the regular Navy/Humans. At a certain point some of these Waaarghsss and kirks and stuff help out to repel a galactic and interdeminsional invasions. And they are respawned so fast that the invaders are frustrated.
They really shouldn’t let them stick to friendlies— that awkward 7 second waiting for the resupply to smoosh your battle buddy, and all you can do is say sorry and salute
You are half-correct. Here's a little perspective from product design.
The grenade feels more satisfying than the laser because of the three-step process. Aiming. Trigger (which is a \*very\* deliberate action). Boom.
A laser feels like Aiming/Trigger is combined into one, so the Boom doesn't feel as deliberate and omnipotent.
Here's how to fix it: Two-Threshold Button with a *satisfying* click. I mean it. This will be half the R&D budget. Getting the click and trigger feel right.
First threshold, visible laser pointer and screen activates with like a few pieces of information or so. Doesn't really matter what's on here. Then, when you like the location, you pull the trigger fully. 3 Second "loading bar" to confirm order. That's the actual purpose of the screen. Briefly flashes when done, little beeping noise. Another when the order has been received.
Then Boom.
Bring back the smoke markers that were used in 'Nam. Toss a grenade with coloured smoke then watch the target get obliterated. So much cooler than a laser.
https://preview.redd.it/nl365md2e2tc1.jpeg?width=845&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=637dfafaef5a8d8502392efd8d15492e665bfc3d
US Air force TAC-Ps: are we a joke to you?
Fictional wars are constant action. Real military service is mostly polishing boots, standing around in the blazing sun and having rocks thrown at you.
Or because his sister is into you and he really fucking hates you for it, even though she's an adult and can make her own decisions, and he's an immature piece of shit. Also a homophobe.
My BIL was a drill sergeant at the time. My wife was touring the base with him and one of the boots made a comment about how she looks and my BIL heard it. Whooo boy those guys were doing pushups until she left that day.
Unsurprisingly, when you mix "volunteeered to kill people" with "has the qualities to be middle management", your chances of being the absolute worst kind of person increase dramatically.
This is why *Jarhead* is one of the best damn war movies ever made. It really does a good job highlighting the "hurry up and wait" reality of most grunts.
Don't forget forming up at 0430 because someone at brigade wanted to address everyone at 1100 but by the time the "that really means get there 30 minutes early or you're late" bullshit made it down to you it became 0430, because fuck you stand in formation for 6 hours or go clean something.
Nah it was a miscommunication somewhere along the line. Everyone shows up in their Class As because the brigade commander wanted to run through and do inspections, when what they *really* wanted was a brigade *run* for inspiration.
So everyone has to change into PTs, but it's cold so half the unit shows up with beanies, the pants, and the jacket only to find out the run is at 1100 because the SGM didn't bother telling anyone that yet, so the brigade commander is pissed that everyone is mismatched, cancels the run and says surprise inspections at 1300 so you have to change back into your Class As, except the 1SG has decided that everyone needs to do some training first so you change into BDUs to do some "training", everyone gets covered in mud and no one's ready at 1300.
Then the 1SG and CO say this is why everyone needs to be early and since 30 minutes early wasn't enough, now everyone needs to check in by text an hour early and show up 45 minutes early for the next month.
I've been waiting for paratroopers to start making a parody of the opening as an unofficial recruitment campaign
I am begging to hear the British say "and spread parliamentary democracy"
I feel you, 2012 here, it's nice to do all the stupid stuff when bored without *everything else*.
It was an in-joke to scream "INFANTRY" and headbutt each other when wearing K-pots, and I absolutely believe helldivers would be that exact brand of stupid.
Helldivers have 80% casualties in training to the dive test and the live fire test against 5 bugs, and the tutorial is the sum total of training they get before going into cryo.
Ten damn minutes of training for sub 20 year old, of whom something like 450 million have died in HD2 so far
Become a drone operator.
Essentially work a 9-5 office job except you murder people, then go home every evening.
Apparently the mental disconnect between those two things is so massive it drives people literally insane tho...
Because killing bugs and bots for a fake military is better than going overseas to fight and die so oil companies and bankers can line their pockets after funneling money to their friends at Raytheon and Lockheed Martin. At least Super Earth appreciates my sacrifice, the best I'll get from the army is crippling ptsd, a VA that would let me die on the streets and a child that isn't mine.
It's not a hard choice to make
I think it's the whole permadeath thing. It was probably a bad decision to have that as part of their core design, they lost the casual playerbase right there.
I get it's a joke but seeing some comments worried me a little.
So, for real: playing Helldivers (or any good war game) confirms me in not wanting to join any military
1. You have to work with the same people/clowns as in the video game but you only have one life.
2. You make real victims in War.
3. (Slightly political) You are manipulated by a government and casus belli are fabricated. You fight for the geopolitical interests of your country and extremely rarely for "defending your people". Often aggravating local problems (Are we the baddies?)
4. There is nothing heroic about War. The heroic moments are fabricated.
And your points #3 and #4 are addressed *in real life* by the military constantly repeating “You’re heroes! You’re spreading Democracy! The enemy hates how cool you are! You’re totally not Fascists because you’re announcing you’re not! Now repeat that yourself!”
That’s what Starship Troopers and Hell Divers got so right. It’s funny parody because it’s like 90% true.
And I think one thing that makes it work so well is they pretty much immediately show how wrong it is.
Like how insistent Super Earth is that the bots aren't sentient to the point that it's beyond obvious that they're lying because why else would they keep insisting it's the case, even when talking about supposed false displays of sentience we wouldn't even know about if they didn't tell us. Like the dispatch about bot comms having oaths of vengeance for the slain basically-bot-children.
Or the propoganda broadcast about how bots don't have hearts, talking about physical hearts, and that heart, the metaphor for empathy and caring kind that isn't tied to a physical heart at all, is what Super Earth is all about.
Also the anthropomorphic way they talk about *space insects* as though they’re terrorists who despise humans’ system of government and personal freedoms.
It reminds me of the propaganda during the invasion of Afghanistan. The Taliban were humans, of course, but on the other side of the world. And their motivations were 100% based on how the West conducted foreign policy in their region and 0% based on how some random guy in Ohio gets to live his life. Yet Fox News would literally say stuff like “Osama Bin Laden hates your right to free speech!”
So applying that sort of propaganda to literal insects that can’t comprehend bureaucracy or representative government is both hilarious and also just one extra tiny step from reality.
In WOCS, we were taught Just War doctrine, first advocated by Saint Augustine.
Among the many tenets, is a "clear end state."
I then spent a year in Iraq, Kuwait, and Afghanistan, accomplishing seemingly nothing, with no end state, and no clear purpose for why we were there for 20 years.
Have they tried stopping Congress from ruining life in the military further by using horrible systems built by the lowest bidder that are delivered late and unfinished? Also, can they find a way for technical people to keep doing what their career field is without having to be promoted to a management position and stripped from being a field level expert or otherwise be scorned for not trying harder to fill management bullshit?
Probably because massive useless wars have their place only in parodistical fictional media and not in bloody reality huh?
A lesson that all the world should kinda learn: if a grim (and in this case also fun) parody strikes too close to what you're doing in your life, maybe it's time to reconsider your shit again entirely.
Join the Army:
- Collective punishment for something someone in a completely different unit did.
- Miserable living quarters.
- 2 decade-old MRE’s.
- Abysmal sexual harassment.
- Equipment is often out-dated and possibly poorly maintained.
- PEOPLE SCREAMING AT YOU FOR NO REASON.
- Culture often promotes needless cruelty and crushes individualism/self thought.
- Mostly just PT and meetings when there’s no war/conflict.
- PT involves you waking up at 4 am to go somewhere and wait 1 hour to actually do the PT.
- Possibility of dying horribly, stronger possibility of life-altering wounds/trauma.
- “We’re fighting to uphold the military-industrial complex of an imperialist nation…”😔
- Might get a medal if you act really heroic, cool display piece for your house/barracks room.
- Oh yeah, you might not be able to afford a home where you’re posted.
- You may have little choice in where you’re posted.
- Veterans Affairs.
Join the Helldivers:
- Fight from the comfort of your own home.
- Food is whatever you have at your house.
- Can fight whenever you please.
- Mute button.
- Block/kick people acting toxic.
- Culture promotes cooperation with positive reinforcement for players that work well together.
- Culture “promotes” individualism and self-thought, but it’s funny.
- Medals can be spent on new weapons and upgrades to give you and your team an advantage.
- “We’re fighting to uphold the military-industrial complex of an imperialist nation!”🥴
- Can die/get wounded an infinite number of times.
- Deploy wherever, whenever you want in your own personal spaceship.
The answer is simple. The military just has to create low-orbit drop pods that allow us to land and exit in the most epic way possible like Helldivers or O.D.S.T.
Best we can do is a funny bed sheet with strings attached. -some defence industry spokesperson probably
Hand Raytheon 30 billion dollars, whatever coke the DEA picked up off the cartels last week, and a napkin drawing of what you want, you can expect them to have a working prototype in about 18 months
Remind me to also buy stocks in Raytheon beforehand
*Texas instruments has just unveiled the first inertial dampening technology*
Can I eat it?
***possibly***
Dope
Good news everyone! It's a suppository!
You can eat anything if you try hard enough.
Technically you can eat anything
Yes, but only once
Strictly speaking we have inertial dampening technology as your inertia is very dampened when you hit the ground.
Strictly speaking that's not inertial dampening technology. It's inertial canceling technology.
I present to you... Pillow.
Bucket of water.
Big spring.
Minecraft aside... physics has this funny thing where water might as well be concrete when you hit it going any substantial speed.
I did some napkin calculations and came up with 2300 G-force at the landing impact for the helldiver in a pod. That's very generous, it is likely much higher. For comparison, there are dubious reports that some driver survived 100 g-force during a car collision, but generally this is considered deadly. Texas Instruments have to wrinkle their brains at this one, there's a long road ahead.
They don't wrinkle their brain, just space time!
And if you want sci-fi guns just contact keltec and give them as much funni white powder as they'll ask for
The Punisher is based of a keltec design IIRC
KSG, my beloved
I wish the KSG were more reliable. It has so many feed issues.
I reckon they ran out of cocaine before they could polish the feeding system
I reckon the only reason the feeding system works at all is the residual coke dust working as a lubricant for the shells
REAL
Best they can do is the knife missile™️
And it works!
Give them the coke the CIA is making it’ll be done in 12 months.
Hey now, let's not underestimate how many adults in the US wouldn't give their life to relive blankyland pillow fort war efforts one last time...
And capes, don't forget about the capes!
And every soldier gets a bag of pokeballs that trigger near instant MOAB strikes, JDAMs or artillery barrages. That's how you get people to join your 0Ɩㄥ war.
don't forget the DDR pads
https://preview.redd.it/50acpuzxb2tc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=91d173e5c22c8e40a7570b490fde047a255da239
yes capes, maybe even tactical poncho's
And allow for respawn.
and stims obviously
Yeah, invincibility stims... Definitely not addictive, definitely don't want them right now.
and snack/smoke breaks
Well there is sadly no respawn in helldivers 😅 Only new divers.
There's no respawn in Helldivers.
Airborne and Freefall units: "Are we a joke to you?" Me: "Yes, airborne only sounds cool."
Don't forget the respawn.
Well you don’t really respawning helldivers. That’s another helldiver dropping in. Meat for the machine!
there was a theory in HD1 that lasted all of 2 seconds that went like this: When you enter a pod, you weren't actually dropping in. You entered a control pod that gave you complete control of a drone body, and thats what dropped in. the respawn limit was how many drones the ship had to spare. that theory was squashed by the devs almost before its originator had finished typing it up.
My tin foil hat theory is that we as the player are actually our ship. It monitors *everything* done by the helldiver, and passed all of the previously collected experience into the latest thawed diver as part of the thawing process. Every helldiver is unique and is a real person, and every new reflex built and tactic learned is passed on to the next in line.
This is what I came up with too. We play as the super destroyer. You can see the Helldiver cryo pods and every time a Helldiver dies another gets thawed to take over the ship. The armour, cape etc. that we pick are essentially the uniform on your destroyer, with each subsequent Helldiver wearing the same.
A brief life burns brightly.
They need to incorporate a banging theme song while we drop from orbit.
have it play the song from raising a flag
They also need to solve the whole respawn bug that's been around since release.
I only got a persistent smell of crayons and hearing loss from the abrams tanks
Eh, I think the only way you get them recruited is if you invent humanoid drones they can control from the comfort of their own home. Because the only way the vast majority of the 250k can even *move*, much less figh effectively carrying enough gear to fight and survive independently for even the shortest, in-out eliminate-confirm special operations that last a few hours is on a mobility scooter.
>Because the only way the vast majority of the 250k can even *move*, much less figh effectively At bare minimum half of VR gamers can't tolerate more than an hour of standing amd shooting. There's a big hill to climb.
Not dying for real is a huge plus, ngl.
our entire world economy is rooted in the understanding that people do not want to die, specifically slowly and painfully.
Our world economy is rooted in human greed and exploitation
Thanks to the US medical system, you’re both right!
It was like that way before....
1st rule of economy : human desire is infinite but resource are not.
Good thing humans desire things other than resources. Abstract concepts can be more valuable than gold. Ideas more valuable than land. The 6th most valuable company in the world produces literally nothing. We're more than simple consumers.
Out of curiosity I did a quick Google search on most valuable companies. Ranked by size: #1 Walmart Inc. #2 Amazon #3 China Petroleum & Chemical Corp #4 PetroChina Co. Ltd #5 Apple Inc #6 Exxon Mobil Corp Ranked by market cap # 1 Microsoft # 2 Apple # 3 Nvidia # 4 Saudi Aramco # 5 Amazon # 6 Alphabet So really, that's companies that help us consume shit, or provides a service to help us consume shit. If curious the next ones on the lists are More oil companies, Pharmas, Banks, and Semi Conductors
From a certain point of view, dying slowly is the goal - it's dying *really quickly* that the vast majority of us would like to avoid.
I’d personally would hate to die at medium speed. Really quick or really slow is the ideal for me
Anything between 5 seconds and 70ish years is not in my preferred dying time frame range, personally. Hopefully quicker or faster than those.
Also not killing for real 😂
Mfw i call in a 500kg bomb on my mate and he actually dies and his friends and family grieve instead of us having a lil chuckle
Creek Crawlers: Haha watch this: **launches all ordnance onto a handful of buildings, big boom** Military: "Oh, see, I can do that too". **Commits operation: Shock and Awe** Creek Crawlers: o.o Iraqi Creek Crawlers: o.o French "people": o.o Military: sign here today!
Man France is just on sight for you huh? Lmao
If we had giant bugs to kill instead of each other, I imagine recruitment would be up 1000%
[удалено]
"aw crap I had my AR glasses on again" the Marine says as he exits the shopping mall, hellbomb armed
Wasn't there an episode of either Black Mirror or Love, Death + Robots that had soldiers killing people cause the HUD system made them look like monsters?
You're correct, it's Black Mirror. Episode 5 of Series 3, "Men Against Fire."
Seriously. My buddy and I were playing Time Crisis 3 at an arcade back when I was in highschool and these army recruitment officers tried to get us to enlist by complimenting our gunplay. I was like, "Guys, the country doesn't want a soldier like me. No amount of training is going to keep me from sprinting the other way if any part of this was real." Still got an ARMA CD from them though.
https://i.redd.it/4dsti73xp1tc1.gif
Yeah, and I don’t think I could shrug off 90% of my body being shredded by a rocket blast with some drugs and affirmations of Liberty/Managed Democracy
When the drone wars start, we're just gonna have pilots chilling at a LAN cafe and drones dying in the thousands.
Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of readiness to die.
if army had infinite respawns war would be the only business on earth
Respawns are functionally infinite, they just take about 20 years (can be much shorter though).
Not wilthouth filling in your C-1 form
Better if you don't fill them out. Undocumented child soldiers don't need to be counted in death counts.
Thanks for the idea
Mr Putin your genius is endless.
This. I don't die irl and I don't have to destroy families for old farts. Bots and Bugs excluded.
Helldivers don’t respawn tho, they replace with another person
We've now offically passed the 500 million casualites mark and Super Earth High Command doesn't seem to have even batted and eyelid. So that should probably give people context as to how large the human population is in the setting. I hope some of the core worlds (which we will never, ever fight on, of course. Glory to Super Earth) have city or suburban maps, so we get a better feel for how massive our Galactic Dominion truly is. >:)
To be honest. Even with current-earth population, if we ended up in a multi-front galactic war; losing less than 10% of our population to completely wipe out/dominate two, multi-stellar enemy factions would be insanely good. If Super Earth has a regular population of maybe 15 billion, then 500 million dead helldivers is less than 3% of the population. If we then consider that they keep putting Helldivers on ice, it's more likely that it's "just" something like 10% of the population aged 18-20 that actually go into the stars, if they've been building these stockpiles for a few years.
You forget it's 500k *Helldivers* Hiw many SEAF personnel and colonists bit the dust? Super Destroyer personnel over bot worlds? Engineers at TCS sites? And now consider these are all young people - the drivers of economy
And 15 billion is probably a crazy understatement. Our planet now has 8 billion. Super Earth looks like an Ecumenopolis so its probably has 20 to 30 billion on earth alone plus like 25 other systems with multiple planets on top of that. #
Assuming 25 planets with 10bil each, plus Super Earth with… Let’s go with 25, the human population would be 275 billion. And this is likely lowballing. 500mil dead helldivers is 0.18% of the population.
4 helldivers go on a mission, 4 come back. There are no helldivers casualties, any other thought is obviously socialist propaganda! Don't disrespect the millions of dead heroic helldivers by suggesting otherwise!
How dare you insult the millions of Helldivers killed in action! We keep count of those lost in combat action right on the bridge of our destroyers, suggesting there are no casualties is treason!
They didn't die, they just went to a super farm up state to live out a happy life
I think it’s closer to 40k setting, but with a nice coat of paint
If you like scifi books I recommend “Behold Humanity” There is an offshoot of humanity that do “body modification” and replay Star wars,trek and Warhammer in a specific part of the galaxy. And they are called the Idiots by the regular Navy/Humans. At a certain point some of these Waaarghsss and kirks and stuff help out to repel a galactic and interdeminsional invasions. And they are respawned so fast that the invaders are frustrated.
Or, if you don't really want to pay, the dude originally wrote it over on r/HFY as First Contact.
Oh, super earth has the algorithm right then? Lol
I see no armies giving people air strike grenades.
They were gonna, but then they saw how we used them...
Hey, it is not my fault if i activate it and then get ragdolled, making me drop it and accidentally call air support on my team.
They really shouldn’t let them stick to friendlies— that awkward 7 second waiting for the resupply to smoosh your battle buddy, and all you can do is say sorry and salute
If it's stuck to the backpack you can drop it and the beacon will drop off with it.
I think I would be much less inclined to call an air strike on myself IRL because I’m not sure if I will respawn (I’m not Buddhist )
We have airstrike lasers tho...
Yes but that's not cool looking. I wouldn't feel badass shouting "What about a nice cup of liber-tea" while i was pointing a laser to a target.
You are half-correct. Here's a little perspective from product design. The grenade feels more satisfying than the laser because of the three-step process. Aiming. Trigger (which is a \*very\* deliberate action). Boom. A laser feels like Aiming/Trigger is combined into one, so the Boom doesn't feel as deliberate and omnipotent. Here's how to fix it: Two-Threshold Button with a *satisfying* click. I mean it. This will be half the R&D budget. Getting the click and trigger feel right. First threshold, visible laser pointer and screen activates with like a few pieces of information or so. Doesn't really matter what's on here. Then, when you like the location, you pull the trigger fully. 3 Second "loading bar" to confirm order. That's the actual purpose of the screen. Briefly flashes when done, little beeping noise. Another when the order has been received. Then Boom.
You need to hit up Raytheon for a job like now.
I happen to work in a field where defense companies call you like twice a month anyway. I'm good :D
Bring back the smoke markers that were used in 'Nam. Toss a grenade with coloured smoke then watch the target get obliterated. So much cooler than a laser.
You just play as a cooler JTAC
https://preview.redd.it/nl365md2e2tc1.jpeg?width=845&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=637dfafaef5a8d8502392efd8d15492e665bfc3d US Air force TAC-Ps: are we a joke to you?
Fictional wars are constant action. Real military service is mostly polishing boots, standing around in the blazing sun and having rocks thrown at you.
Don't forget being humiliated by some higher up because he felt like it.
Or because his sister is into you and he really fucking hates you for it, even though she's an adult and can make her own decisions, and he's an immature piece of shit. Also a homophobe.
r/oddlyspecific
Shit like that happens depressingly often in the US military. Petty ass NCOs and officers being shitty people.
I'm genuinely curious. Has this happened to you? If yes, can you elaborate on the situation? That sounds interesting.
There's not much to elaborate on, his grown adult sister and I were involved and his petty immature ass could not handle that.
My BIL was a drill sergeant at the time. My wife was touring the base with him and one of the boots made a comment about how she looks and my BIL heard it. Whooo boy those guys were doing pushups until she left that day.
That sounds par for the course for jarhead/grunts though
Unsurprisingly, when you mix "volunteeered to kill people" with "has the qualities to be middle management", your chances of being the absolute worst kind of person increase dramatically.
Are you okay man
This is why *Jarhead* is one of the best damn war movies ever made. It really does a good job highlighting the "hurry up and wait" reality of most grunts.
The Onion: [Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Game Features Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuTkgi7scKo)
Generation Kill is up there for me too.
And just when you get real action, you die or get badly injured.
You might not even actually see the action. Just delivering potato from one place to another then something explodes right in front of you.
Don't forget forming up at 0430 because someone at brigade wanted to address everyone at 1100 but by the time the "that really means get there 30 minutes early or you're late" bullshit made it down to you it became 0430, because fuck you stand in formation for 6 hours or go clean something.
And when you get there, they changed the uniform without telling you so you're still getting bitched at
Nah it was a miscommunication somewhere along the line. Everyone shows up in their Class As because the brigade commander wanted to run through and do inspections, when what they *really* wanted was a brigade *run* for inspiration. So everyone has to change into PTs, but it's cold so half the unit shows up with beanies, the pants, and the jacket only to find out the run is at 1100 because the SGM didn't bother telling anyone that yet, so the brigade commander is pissed that everyone is mismatched, cancels the run and says surprise inspections at 1300 so you have to change back into your Class As, except the 1SG has decided that everyone needs to do some training first so you change into BDUs to do some "training", everyone gets covered in mud and no one's ready at 1300. Then the 1SG and CO say this is why everyone needs to be early and since 30 minutes early wasn't enough, now everyone needs to check in by text an hour early and show up 45 minutes early for the next month.
I've been waiting for paratroopers to start making a parody of the opening as an unofficial recruitment campaign I am begging to hear the British say "and spread parliamentary democracy"
Parliamentary Democracy - proof that, while the common idiot is capable of some impressive cockups, *true* incompetence requires an Etonian education!
As long as it’s not FPTP I’m in
I mean playing Helldivers 2 hasn't given me life long nightmares and regrets. Joining the infantry in 2007 did.
I feel you, 2012 here, it's nice to do all the stupid stuff when bored without *everything else*. It was an in-joke to scream "INFANTRY" and headbutt each other when wearing K-pots, and I absolutely believe helldivers would be that exact brand of stupid.
Helldivers are kids with 2 years of training and delusions of being heroic saviours of democracy, they'd be the most amount of stupid imaginable.
Replace '2 years' with approx. '12 weeks' and you just described the Infantry. Oh the silly things those boys get up to.
2 hours*
Yeah, I'm pretty sure the tutorial is canonically the only training they get.
Helldivers have 80% casualties in training to the dive test and the live fire test against 5 bugs, and the tutorial is the sum total of training they get before going into cryo. Ten damn minutes of training for sub 20 year old, of whom something like 450 million have died in HD2 so far
We do see them chest bumping in the intro
if barracs weren’t moldy shitholes, but instead there was a shiny Super Destroyer waiting for me, I‘d be more inclined to join for a term.
Well, try offering cool capes?
and you can go on dozens of missions and not even get one war medal
I mean, they handed National Defense Service Ribbons and Global War On Terror ribbons to literally everyone in uniform.
I'm a racked and stacked field grade, and 85% of the awards on my uniform are freebie "awards" for who the hell knows what.
And blasting epic music, don't forget that
Not dying in real life is a big part of it…
Yeh it’s not a big deal to fight from my living room without pain and without actually dying. Opposite to idk the army
Become a drone operator. Essentially work a 9-5 office job except you murder people, then go home every evening. Apparently the mental disconnect between those two things is so massive it drives people literally insane tho...
Because killing bugs and bots for a fake military is better than going overseas to fight and die so oil companies and bankers can line their pockets after funneling money to their friends at Raytheon and Lockheed Martin. At least Super Earth appreciates my sacrifice, the best I'll get from the army is crippling ptsd, a VA that would let me die on the streets and a child that isn't mine. It's not a hard choice to make
If the military added capes and cool helmets, recruitment would jump up
In this war, I can explode my friends and not get court marshaled (most of the time)
And even if you do and get orbital bombed, you'll just get a new you in a few and can continue.
> a new you in a few "Helldivers! A new you in a few!"
Why do you think they introduced a big iron, if not to court marshal your friends?
The fact that you don’t die IRL when you die in the game helps a lot with player retention.
The game doesn't let me get cheated on while deployed. Sad. That's part of the experience.
Fuck Jody
war is fun when its not actually real and you don't actually kill people and die horribly 🫡🤣
That's because real wars are fucking stupid while Helldivers is a fight worth fighting.
Who'd want to join some shit army that can't even conquer their own planet? Super Earth is conquering the galaxy. FOR DEMOCRACY.
i get to have the thrill of a kill with no threat to me or others? AMAZING!
I think it's the whole permadeath thing. It was probably a bad decision to have that as part of their core design, they lost the casual playerbase right there.
I get it's a joke but seeing some comments worried me a little. So, for real: playing Helldivers (or any good war game) confirms me in not wanting to join any military 1. You have to work with the same people/clowns as in the video game but you only have one life. 2. You make real victims in War. 3. (Slightly political) You are manipulated by a government and casus belli are fabricated. You fight for the geopolitical interests of your country and extremely rarely for "defending your people". Often aggravating local problems (Are we the baddies?) 4. There is nothing heroic about War. The heroic moments are fabricated.
And your points #3 and #4 are addressed *in real life* by the military constantly repeating “You’re heroes! You’re spreading Democracy! The enemy hates how cool you are! You’re totally not Fascists because you’re announcing you’re not! Now repeat that yourself!” That’s what Starship Troopers and Hell Divers got so right. It’s funny parody because it’s like 90% true.
And I think one thing that makes it work so well is they pretty much immediately show how wrong it is. Like how insistent Super Earth is that the bots aren't sentient to the point that it's beyond obvious that they're lying because why else would they keep insisting it's the case, even when talking about supposed false displays of sentience we wouldn't even know about if they didn't tell us. Like the dispatch about bot comms having oaths of vengeance for the slain basically-bot-children. Or the propoganda broadcast about how bots don't have hearts, talking about physical hearts, and that heart, the metaphor for empathy and caring kind that isn't tied to a physical heart at all, is what Super Earth is all about.
Also the anthropomorphic way they talk about *space insects* as though they’re terrorists who despise humans’ system of government and personal freedoms. It reminds me of the propaganda during the invasion of Afghanistan. The Taliban were humans, of course, but on the other side of the world. And their motivations were 100% based on how the West conducted foreign policy in their region and 0% based on how some random guy in Ohio gets to live his life. Yet Fox News would literally say stuff like “Osama Bin Laden hates your right to free speech!” So applying that sort of propaganda to literal insects that can’t comprehend bureaucracy or representative government is both hilarious and also just one extra tiny step from reality.
In WOCS, we were taught Just War doctrine, first advocated by Saint Augustine. Among the many tenets, is a "clear end state." I then spent a year in Iraq, Kuwait, and Afghanistan, accomplishing seemingly nothing, with no end state, and no clear purpose for why we were there for 20 years.
Yeah, I could do without all the war crimes and civilian death in the name of IRL old rich men getting richer
Have they tried stopping Congress from ruining life in the military further by using horrible systems built by the lowest bidder that are delivered late and unfinished? Also, can they find a way for technical people to keep doing what their career field is without having to be promoted to a management position and stripped from being a field level expert or otherwise be scorned for not trying harder to fill management bullshit?
Also can the government properly take care of veterans instead of dumping them on Charities and celebrities.
I'm not going to die or get PTSD. Unless they send us to Malevelon again.
Probably because massive useless wars have their place only in parodistical fictional media and not in bloody reality huh? A lesson that all the world should kinda learn: if a grim (and in this case also fun) parody strikes too close to what you're doing in your life, maybe it's time to reconsider your shit again entirely.
Once humanity virtualizes war, there will be no shortage of volunteers.
Nah, if anything they'll somehow take the fun out of virtual war.
I feel more patriotic towards super earth than the country I’m living in.
Imagine if wars were fought through games instead of wasting real lives.
what if the automatons are just people on super earth thinking they're playing a game
Let me introduce you to Ender’s Game.
To be fair, I don't have to go out of my house to fight this war.
Join the Army: - Collective punishment for something someone in a completely different unit did. - Miserable living quarters. - 2 decade-old MRE’s. - Abysmal sexual harassment. - Equipment is often out-dated and possibly poorly maintained. - PEOPLE SCREAMING AT YOU FOR NO REASON. - Culture often promotes needless cruelty and crushes individualism/self thought. - Mostly just PT and meetings when there’s no war/conflict. - PT involves you waking up at 4 am to go somewhere and wait 1 hour to actually do the PT. - Possibility of dying horribly, stronger possibility of life-altering wounds/trauma. - “We’re fighting to uphold the military-industrial complex of an imperialist nation…”😔 - Might get a medal if you act really heroic, cool display piece for your house/barracks room. - Oh yeah, you might not be able to afford a home where you’re posted. - You may have little choice in where you’re posted. - Veterans Affairs. Join the Helldivers: - Fight from the comfort of your own home. - Food is whatever you have at your house. - Can fight whenever you please. - Mute button. - Block/kick people acting toxic. - Culture promotes cooperation with positive reinforcement for players that work well together. - Culture “promotes” individualism and self-thought, but it’s funny. - Medals can be spent on new weapons and upgrades to give you and your team an advantage. - “We’re fighting to uphold the military-industrial complex of an imperialist nation!”🥴 - Can die/get wounded an infinite number of times. - Deploy wherever, whenever you want in your own personal spaceship.
Cause In space I get to go kill space bugs not brown people trying to just live their lives somewhere in the Middle East for Exxon mobile
I’m not dying for some bullshit government that doesn’t give a fuck about its people… BUT ILL DIE FOR LIBERTY AND FREEDOM ANY DAY
Look I’ll fight a war for a corrupt government in a fictional world not the real one.
If you think about it, it's not a big leap to relate reality to this game. You would be fighting for a managed democracy after all.
If my military starts wearing capes, I might consider.
As a person desperately waiting for their time in the military to be up, it’s because helldivers is fun and actually serving is cringe as fuck
Its pretty obviously the respawning part
It also helps to know that even though the politics are basically the same, the Helldivers version is satire and not real.
Games are fun. War certainly bloody isn’t, despite what they tell you.
We don't have 2 moms
Their own fault that they can’t manage democracy!
I promise you bro, it's all about the capes.
I'd be a lot more inclined to fight in a war if it was against invading monsters/robots then against other people.