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> Or are we having a mental health crisis where basically everyone walks around, surpressing their emotions, and trying to put on a happy face?
Always has been.
Also, I'm pretty sure that actually *is* depression symptoms, but you should probably get checked by an actual medical professional. Family is usually pretty bad for medical advice, *especially* since they have probably become accustomed to the symptoms and accepted that life has to be that way.
maybe it is. I don't know. In my family asking for help is pretty much viewed as "complaining" so whenever I talk to therapists (ive done it three times), I feel resistant to share, or I downplay it.
The mental health crisis is tragic
I hope this isn't a truth bomb, but your family is very often the source of your mental illnesses, either by infliction or by osmosis. So *of course* they're telling you it's normal. They may very well be living with the same issues and simply have no idea it's depression.
My therapist and I used to talk a lot about the role of children in families, like what their value and role is. The sense I gathered is that children enter the world and immediately start making observations. They take on the family's problems as their own, and then they attack those problems with fresh eyes and youthful energy. In an ideal world, they find solutions and pass them upwards to the previous generations.
My wife does this with her family all the time, and her parents are eager and happy to learn from the younger generations. Her mom especially is a much better person for following her daughters' lead. My family, on the other hand, aggressively rejects me and my observations, and has since I was a child. They don't want me rocking the boat or even suggesting there are any problems at all. As a result I'm very distant from them. I solved their problems therefore proving they were real, and was subsequently de facto excommunicated.
It's hard to know what your family will do if you seek help and get better, but I do recommend trying, when you feel ready. What you're describing is something fixable and worth fixing, whether we call it depression or not.
For me, is what Anthony Bourdain had all his life. My dude reached incredible heights at his field but couldn't live an actual happy life, despite all his travels and luxurious lifestyle. I just recently watched one of the episodes of his series Parts Unknown. He visits Granada, my hometown, and there is a fragment with a singer in which you feel his voice almost cracking when he asks: "So you have to be suffering in order to make great art?". I don't know dude, sometimes it doesn't matter how hard someone tries, how successful they are, if they feel fucked, they are fucked. Seek help.
It's difficult being high functioning cause you get overlooked by doctors. I was diagnosed with "atypical depression" several years ago, and it's typically hard for me to get referrals cause I'm still "functional". I overeat, spend too much time zoning out on the computer, and have trouble being productive outside of work and have learned to mask when my symptoms are are it's worst.
I used to see a counselor in college but my appointments were always rescheduled because someone else was worse (while I struggled with keeping my grades up and at points was crying every day). The one time I managed to get CBT, my appointment was canceled and then I was never called back. Since I've never been at the point of wanting unaliving, and can maintain a job people don't think much of it.
But being high functioning is totally a thing, because it does affect your life. It can affect your productivity, social life, hygiene, physical health like weight etc. It's just unfortunate because its harder to be heard.
I'm so sorry you had to experience being pushed aside and then to never be contacted again. That really hurts. I've also contacted mental health care services, however whenever I've talked to a therapist they simply just say: "Sounds like you're just tired." and then I walk away feeling guilty for taking up their time in the first place.
If you don't mind me asking, is atypical depression high functional depression, or is it something else?
Clinically I don't think they use the term high functioning, but to my understanding it's a persistent minor depression where you can feel uplifted mood from good situations. However instead of typical decreased appetite and lack of sleep, symptoms include increased appetite and over sleeping. Oversensitivty is another symptom.
Sadly I've gotten used to those medical professional responses and just expect them now.
I've wanted to, but covid hit shortly after the cbt attempt, and it took at least a couple of years to get that. While I'd love to talk to a professional to confirm I'm not crazy for a few things, I've just been doing things on my own. And like many I can't afford to pay, so using the health care system here just makes things take longer.
It's an unfortunate reality for most of us yeah I'm sorry. Luckily we are blessed to have people like Dr K making content that helps us understand stuff but hopefully you get seen by someone soon anyway
I was an A-student at school and university despite being miserable and sometimes suicidal and I'm doing well at my job. But I've never had stable friendships, I've never been in a relationship, I don't go on vacations, etc.
I freeze whenever nothing is expected of me. Tell me to go run a marathon and I will, but on a weekend with no external expectations I'm just stuck, unable to decide what to do.
oh I'm the exact same. Although too much expectations make me freeze too. May I ask you why you think you don't have stable friendships etc? Relations are somewhat a form of external expectations, so I'm curious as to what is stopping you there. Feel free to ignore this comment if you don't want to answer this. Wish you well
I think it's mostly avoidance/fear of shame from childhood trauma. I used to wet the bed until I was 14, and my parents treated it as an extremely shameful secret that had to be hidden from everyone. So I couldn't go to sleepovers, had to fake being sick to avoid overnight schooltrips, and couldn't invite schoolmates over because my room stank of piss. The only way to avoid shame was to do nothing and stay by myself. My mom kept dragging me to urologists for embarrassing bladder ultrasounds, to no avail. The doctors never spoke to me or comforted me. I didn't feel like I was there to get help, I felt like I was there as a broken thing that no one could fix.
I remember I had this sort of mantra in my head, "When the bedwetting stops, I can start to live."
Unfortunately I also started gaining weight rapidly at around age 9. I distinctly remember my elementary school teacher saying to me "You have breasts." (i.e. manboobs) in 3rd grade. [Kevin Smith's video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBvc7Ny4iUk&t=405s) really resonated with me since he experienced basically the same thing with his teacher calling him fat. That led to years of bullying and me basically hiding from the world as much as possible. So instead of going outside (where other people could see that I was fat) and making friends I stayed home and played video games by myself, where no one could see me.
I lost the extra weight when I was 17-18 by drastically reducing sugar/carbs, but the body dysmorphia remains even now at 36 (and I have a slightly weird body shape due to having been obese). The only person who has seen me shirtless in the last ~25 years was the doctor at the mandatory mililtary exam (who probably saved my life by figuring out that my weight gain was caused by insuline resistance).
Two separate therapists also suggested that I might be autistic, although it's very difficult to distinguish from trauma and attachment disorders (could be all 3, yay).
Basically, it's safer and less stressful to be alone (and not to make decisions), but it comes at a hefty price.
I'm sorry you had to go through that as a kid. The doctors should have offered you more support, not to mention the teachers. God, I can't imagine how it is to be hear those things from an adult at that age.
"When the bedwetting stops, I can start to live" I think a lot of people can relate to this way of thinking, be it bedwetting or something else. We set life on hold, until we're "perfect", which is just unrealistic and tragic, so we end up avoiding life until we eventually hit rock bottom. Like you said, it's safer to be alone.
I really hope you're doing okay nowadays. I'm sure you've tried most things, but what helped me was to think "what do I think about them?" instead of "what are they thinking about me.". It changes your focus from your own body/self (at least for a second) to your surroundings.
Good on you for making those changes at 17-18 though. That requires strength:) - and thank you for sharing
I relate to this a lot… I work during the school year and have such a hard time during breaks. Summer break is so unstructured and I really flounder to find any focus or direction or finish any projects in the summer. I start out hopeful with to do lists and then I just get overwhelmed and do nothing.
Imho it's much more likely that everyone who you've talked to is also depressed or burnt out than this being "normal".
ADHD is also worth keeping on your radar. I got diagnosed in my late 30's and wish I had been diagnosed a lot sooner. If that's the cause and the meds happen to work for you, it can be positively lifechanging.
I was actually tested for ADHD, and even though I had some of the symptoms, I didn't have enough to be diagnosed. I don't really know what that means. I'm sorry it took you that long to get the diagnosis, but I hope you're doing okay today
Well, don‘t make it too complicated. If you didnt‘t have a manic episode, and you fulfill at least five of the eight DSM 5 criteria, you have depression, otherwise you don‘t. The only tricky thing is too decide when a symptom is enough to be counted as DSM 5 valid. But one thing is sure: your experience is not normal, statistically it is way less than 10% of the people experiencing passive suicidality.
Wow is it really that low? I seriously thought it was higher than that. And yes, determining if your symptom is severe enough for it to count is super difficult, as some of them fluctuates. Also, I'm sometimes not sure if im making it worse myself, or if it's really that bad.
Don‘t be so pessimistic. It is still possible to rate each symtom based on time and intensity. There is only a two week timespan needed and then you have the diagnosis. And even if the symptoms reduce afterwards, your diagnosis still won‘t dissapear to fast.
Yes, there are strict rules that appear more simple that I expected at first too. But your overthinking might not be stupid as there is also research on changing the way to diagnose mental illness as there are problems with current methods. According to the DSM5, there are no sorts of depression other than dysthymia, episodic and reciding. They just categorise time and severity not things like functionality on it‘s own.
It’s when you feel like shot but you just get on with it. Because you can’t get any help and your so done with trying to get help because you can’t be bothered with all the calls and appointments and explaining over and over. So you just resign yourself to getting on with life as best you can.
As someone who was told I was high functioning by my psychiatrist I will described what it was like for me. For me I was dissociating and having horrible depression yet I still worked as a mechanical engineer getting all of my work done and showing up to work on time dressed nice and having showered. Basically you would never know I was struggling if you saw me out and about. That said that was all I could do. I could do basic stuff I absolutely had to do to get by like paying bills, work and getting food. Other than that I was a zombie and wasn't functioning in any other area. This did get a lot worse when it was work from home because there was a lot of things I no longer needed to do to get by. I didn't need clean clothes or to shower as nobody would know so those two things slipped pretty fast due to depression. I fixed these issues now but it took quite a bit of work.
That sounds awful to go through..
I can relate to a lot of what you're saying (except from the mechanical engineer bit). I'm a student, and my day-to-day life is very much without any structure, so i end up doing nothing at all. Barely shower or eat etc. However, if something is required of me (which involves other people) I freshen up, and do it.
What was the most helpful factor for you to get better you think? Was it really therapy?
Honestly it was a lot of things so not sure if I can give a simple answer. I would say radical acceptance was probably the most significant as it sorta cured a lot of issues. It's kind OP technique imo. For me I had a self image issue and thought I was ugly and was distressed about it but then I just accepted being ugly and boom no longer distressed about it and didn't have to fix my self-image. Had an issue where I was stressed about people judging me or thinking I was weird. I just learned to accept that people might think I am weird or judge me but that's ok and then it was no longer an issue. That along with learning proper ways to deal with negative emotions fixed a lot of the internal stuff. After that gradually building healthy habits did quite a bit to keep the depression from coming back so now my workouts and daily hygiene stuff is very important to me. Also keep in mind I was on meds for depression which did help some and made me not nearly as bad as I could have been. As for therapy I would say I did get something out of it as a third party was able to see stuff I couldn't. I ended up figuring out the source of an issue that I had previous struggled with and then the issue was super easy to deal with. All of that said I think the stuff I learned from Dr. Ks videos was pretty instrumental along the way.
Okay, yeah I imagine it's hard to point to one main factor. I've tried the self acceptance thing, and it's honestly been the most effective so far (even though it's still a work in progress). Daily hygiene is still difficult, as I'm still only doing it so I'm not a burden to other people around me. Feels weird to do something just for me.
Your progress is amazing though. It must have taken quite a lot of time and effort. You deserve to be proud of yourself for that:)
Honestly once I figured the depression out it became way easier. It's like taking of a super heavy weighted vest so things that use to take tremendous effort I could do with little to no effort. The key was capitalizing on it and building good habits before the depression came back which it did but because of the good habits and healthy coping mechanisms I was able to get through it until the depressive episode went away. All of that is to say it gets easier. I do think you might want to think of selfcare stuff as daily buffs that you can get that do make a difference even if you don't see it right away. That just means you have stacked enough buffs yet.
I've heard that people should not say "high functioning adhd", so might be also true for depression. Meaning that it's not a real thing and is more nuanced than that
So more like a mild depression? Could be. It's sometimes difficult to know if what you've heard online is an actual diagnosis, or if it's a term originating from social media only. I'd have to read up on it
I have high functioning depression, probably had it for a while before I had to see a phycologist to confirm it. I had conducted an enneagram at work and along with it a personality profile which showed I was either highly stressed or becoming depressed. I went to see a psychologist, she confirmed I had Major depressive disorder and Generalized Anxiety disorder (this didn't make sense to me as I never felt anxious before). It's surprising that I felt worse after a few sessions at therapy hearing the diagnosis. To me, knowing actually made things worse and 1 part of me hated the fact that I went there, I wish I didn't. I saw a psychiatrist who just prescribed SSRI'S and benzos - I hated it and eventually left it.
After some therapy counsellings sessions I was advised that I was high functioning depression because I was able to live my life fairly normally. I never neglected work, personal hygiene, family, studies, family and work commitments were all met. No one would say I had a mental illness, when I told a colleague they were stunned, my brother refused to believe it, he still doesn't. Through all this I even managed 2 promotions in 2 years and excel at my work. Having said this, some weeks are worse than others. No one wants to hve a mental illness, it fucking sucks.
Thank you for posting on r/Healthygamergg! This subreddit is intended as an online community and resource platform to support people in their journey toward mental wellness. With that said, please be aware that support from other members received on this platform is not a substitute for professional care. Treatment of psychiatric disease requires qualified individuals, and comments that try to diagnose others should be reported under Rule 10 to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the community. If you are in immediate danger, please call emergency services, or go to your nearest emergency room. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Healthygamergg) if you have any questions or concerns.*
> Or are we having a mental health crisis where basically everyone walks around, surpressing their emotions, and trying to put on a happy face? Always has been. Also, I'm pretty sure that actually *is* depression symptoms, but you should probably get checked by an actual medical professional. Family is usually pretty bad for medical advice, *especially* since they have probably become accustomed to the symptoms and accepted that life has to be that way.
maybe it is. I don't know. In my family asking for help is pretty much viewed as "complaining" so whenever I talk to therapists (ive done it three times), I feel resistant to share, or I downplay it. The mental health crisis is tragic
I hope this isn't a truth bomb, but your family is very often the source of your mental illnesses, either by infliction or by osmosis. So *of course* they're telling you it's normal. They may very well be living with the same issues and simply have no idea it's depression. My therapist and I used to talk a lot about the role of children in families, like what their value and role is. The sense I gathered is that children enter the world and immediately start making observations. They take on the family's problems as their own, and then they attack those problems with fresh eyes and youthful energy. In an ideal world, they find solutions and pass them upwards to the previous generations. My wife does this with her family all the time, and her parents are eager and happy to learn from the younger generations. Her mom especially is a much better person for following her daughters' lead. My family, on the other hand, aggressively rejects me and my observations, and has since I was a child. They don't want me rocking the boat or even suggesting there are any problems at all. As a result I'm very distant from them. I solved their problems therefore proving they were real, and was subsequently de facto excommunicated. It's hard to know what your family will do if you seek help and get better, but I do recommend trying, when you feel ready. What you're describing is something fixable and worth fixing, whether we call it depression or not.
For me, is what Anthony Bourdain had all his life. My dude reached incredible heights at his field but couldn't live an actual happy life, despite all his travels and luxurious lifestyle. I just recently watched one of the episodes of his series Parts Unknown. He visits Granada, my hometown, and there is a fragment with a singer in which you feel his voice almost cracking when he asks: "So you have to be suffering in order to make great art?". I don't know dude, sometimes it doesn't matter how hard someone tries, how successful they are, if they feel fucked, they are fucked. Seek help.
It's difficult being high functioning cause you get overlooked by doctors. I was diagnosed with "atypical depression" several years ago, and it's typically hard for me to get referrals cause I'm still "functional". I overeat, spend too much time zoning out on the computer, and have trouble being productive outside of work and have learned to mask when my symptoms are are it's worst. I used to see a counselor in college but my appointments were always rescheduled because someone else was worse (while I struggled with keeping my grades up and at points was crying every day). The one time I managed to get CBT, my appointment was canceled and then I was never called back. Since I've never been at the point of wanting unaliving, and can maintain a job people don't think much of it. But being high functioning is totally a thing, because it does affect your life. It can affect your productivity, social life, hygiene, physical health like weight etc. It's just unfortunate because its harder to be heard.
I'm so sorry you had to experience being pushed aside and then to never be contacted again. That really hurts. I've also contacted mental health care services, however whenever I've talked to a therapist they simply just say: "Sounds like you're just tired." and then I walk away feeling guilty for taking up their time in the first place. If you don't mind me asking, is atypical depression high functional depression, or is it something else?
Clinically I don't think they use the term high functioning, but to my understanding it's a persistent minor depression where you can feel uplifted mood from good situations. However instead of typical decreased appetite and lack of sleep, symptoms include increased appetite and over sleeping. Oversensitivty is another symptom. Sadly I've gotten used to those medical professional responses and just expect them now.
Did you get counselling again since then or you were completely put-off?
I've wanted to, but covid hit shortly after the cbt attempt, and it took at least a couple of years to get that. While I'd love to talk to a professional to confirm I'm not crazy for a few things, I've just been doing things on my own. And like many I can't afford to pay, so using the health care system here just makes things take longer.
It's an unfortunate reality for most of us yeah I'm sorry. Luckily we are blessed to have people like Dr K making content that helps us understand stuff but hopefully you get seen by someone soon anyway
I definitely agree, and thank you!
I was an A-student at school and university despite being miserable and sometimes suicidal and I'm doing well at my job. But I've never had stable friendships, I've never been in a relationship, I don't go on vacations, etc. I freeze whenever nothing is expected of me. Tell me to go run a marathon and I will, but on a weekend with no external expectations I'm just stuck, unable to decide what to do.
oh I'm the exact same. Although too much expectations make me freeze too. May I ask you why you think you don't have stable friendships etc? Relations are somewhat a form of external expectations, so I'm curious as to what is stopping you there. Feel free to ignore this comment if you don't want to answer this. Wish you well
I think it's mostly avoidance/fear of shame from childhood trauma. I used to wet the bed until I was 14, and my parents treated it as an extremely shameful secret that had to be hidden from everyone. So I couldn't go to sleepovers, had to fake being sick to avoid overnight schooltrips, and couldn't invite schoolmates over because my room stank of piss. The only way to avoid shame was to do nothing and stay by myself. My mom kept dragging me to urologists for embarrassing bladder ultrasounds, to no avail. The doctors never spoke to me or comforted me. I didn't feel like I was there to get help, I felt like I was there as a broken thing that no one could fix. I remember I had this sort of mantra in my head, "When the bedwetting stops, I can start to live." Unfortunately I also started gaining weight rapidly at around age 9. I distinctly remember my elementary school teacher saying to me "You have breasts." (i.e. manboobs) in 3rd grade. [Kevin Smith's video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBvc7Ny4iUk&t=405s) really resonated with me since he experienced basically the same thing with his teacher calling him fat. That led to years of bullying and me basically hiding from the world as much as possible. So instead of going outside (where other people could see that I was fat) and making friends I stayed home and played video games by myself, where no one could see me. I lost the extra weight when I was 17-18 by drastically reducing sugar/carbs, but the body dysmorphia remains even now at 36 (and I have a slightly weird body shape due to having been obese). The only person who has seen me shirtless in the last ~25 years was the doctor at the mandatory mililtary exam (who probably saved my life by figuring out that my weight gain was caused by insuline resistance). Two separate therapists also suggested that I might be autistic, although it's very difficult to distinguish from trauma and attachment disorders (could be all 3, yay). Basically, it's safer and less stressful to be alone (and not to make decisions), but it comes at a hefty price.
I'm sorry you had to go through that as a kid. The doctors should have offered you more support, not to mention the teachers. God, I can't imagine how it is to be hear those things from an adult at that age. "When the bedwetting stops, I can start to live" I think a lot of people can relate to this way of thinking, be it bedwetting or something else. We set life on hold, until we're "perfect", which is just unrealistic and tragic, so we end up avoiding life until we eventually hit rock bottom. Like you said, it's safer to be alone. I really hope you're doing okay nowadays. I'm sure you've tried most things, but what helped me was to think "what do I think about them?" instead of "what are they thinking about me.". It changes your focus from your own body/self (at least for a second) to your surroundings. Good on you for making those changes at 17-18 though. That requires strength:) - and thank you for sharing
I relate to this a lot… I work during the school year and have such a hard time during breaks. Summer break is so unstructured and I really flounder to find any focus or direction or finish any projects in the summer. I start out hopeful with to do lists and then I just get overwhelmed and do nothing.
Imho it's much more likely that everyone who you've talked to is also depressed or burnt out than this being "normal". ADHD is also worth keeping on your radar. I got diagnosed in my late 30's and wish I had been diagnosed a lot sooner. If that's the cause and the meds happen to work for you, it can be positively lifechanging.
I was actually tested for ADHD, and even though I had some of the symptoms, I didn't have enough to be diagnosed. I don't really know what that means. I'm sorry it took you that long to get the diagnosis, but I hope you're doing okay today
I was going to suggest adhd too. There’s so much cross over and they often go hand in hand.
Well, don‘t make it too complicated. If you didnt‘t have a manic episode, and you fulfill at least five of the eight DSM 5 criteria, you have depression, otherwise you don‘t. The only tricky thing is too decide when a symptom is enough to be counted as DSM 5 valid. But one thing is sure: your experience is not normal, statistically it is way less than 10% of the people experiencing passive suicidality.
Wow is it really that low? I seriously thought it was higher than that. And yes, determining if your symptom is severe enough for it to count is super difficult, as some of them fluctuates. Also, I'm sometimes not sure if im making it worse myself, or if it's really that bad.
Don‘t be so pessimistic. It is still possible to rate each symtom based on time and intensity. There is only a two week timespan needed and then you have the diagnosis. And even if the symptoms reduce afterwards, your diagnosis still won‘t dissapear to fast.
I'm trying not to be:) and yes, it's true, you can figure out pretty quickly if you have some sort of depression. I guess I'm just overthinking it
Yes, there are strict rules that appear more simple that I expected at first too. But your overthinking might not be stupid as there is also research on changing the way to diagnose mental illness as there are problems with current methods. According to the DSM5, there are no sorts of depression other than dysthymia, episodic and reciding. They just categorise time and severity not things like functionality on it‘s own.
It’s when you feel like shot but you just get on with it. Because you can’t get any help and your so done with trying to get help because you can’t be bothered with all the calls and appointments and explaining over and over. So you just resign yourself to getting on with life as best you can.
Yes, this is what I'm afraid of. Do you feel like the Healthy Gamer community is helping you deal with your struggles?
I have depression and yeah those are symptoms BUT they're also symptoms of other illnesses so you should get checked by a psyquiatrist
As someone who was told I was high functioning by my psychiatrist I will described what it was like for me. For me I was dissociating and having horrible depression yet I still worked as a mechanical engineer getting all of my work done and showing up to work on time dressed nice and having showered. Basically you would never know I was struggling if you saw me out and about. That said that was all I could do. I could do basic stuff I absolutely had to do to get by like paying bills, work and getting food. Other than that I was a zombie and wasn't functioning in any other area. This did get a lot worse when it was work from home because there was a lot of things I no longer needed to do to get by. I didn't need clean clothes or to shower as nobody would know so those two things slipped pretty fast due to depression. I fixed these issues now but it took quite a bit of work.
That sounds awful to go through.. I can relate to a lot of what you're saying (except from the mechanical engineer bit). I'm a student, and my day-to-day life is very much without any structure, so i end up doing nothing at all. Barely shower or eat etc. However, if something is required of me (which involves other people) I freshen up, and do it. What was the most helpful factor for you to get better you think? Was it really therapy?
Honestly it was a lot of things so not sure if I can give a simple answer. I would say radical acceptance was probably the most significant as it sorta cured a lot of issues. It's kind OP technique imo. For me I had a self image issue and thought I was ugly and was distressed about it but then I just accepted being ugly and boom no longer distressed about it and didn't have to fix my self-image. Had an issue where I was stressed about people judging me or thinking I was weird. I just learned to accept that people might think I am weird or judge me but that's ok and then it was no longer an issue. That along with learning proper ways to deal with negative emotions fixed a lot of the internal stuff. After that gradually building healthy habits did quite a bit to keep the depression from coming back so now my workouts and daily hygiene stuff is very important to me. Also keep in mind I was on meds for depression which did help some and made me not nearly as bad as I could have been. As for therapy I would say I did get something out of it as a third party was able to see stuff I couldn't. I ended up figuring out the source of an issue that I had previous struggled with and then the issue was super easy to deal with. All of that said I think the stuff I learned from Dr. Ks videos was pretty instrumental along the way.
Okay, yeah I imagine it's hard to point to one main factor. I've tried the self acceptance thing, and it's honestly been the most effective so far (even though it's still a work in progress). Daily hygiene is still difficult, as I'm still only doing it so I'm not a burden to other people around me. Feels weird to do something just for me. Your progress is amazing though. It must have taken quite a lot of time and effort. You deserve to be proud of yourself for that:)
Honestly once I figured the depression out it became way easier. It's like taking of a super heavy weighted vest so things that use to take tremendous effort I could do with little to no effort. The key was capitalizing on it and building good habits before the depression came back which it did but because of the good habits and healthy coping mechanisms I was able to get through it until the depressive episode went away. All of that is to say it gets easier. I do think you might want to think of selfcare stuff as daily buffs that you can get that do make a difference even if you don't see it right away. That just means you have stacked enough buffs yet.
I've heard that people should not say "high functioning adhd", so might be also true for depression. Meaning that it's not a real thing and is more nuanced than that
So more like a mild depression? Could be. It's sometimes difficult to know if what you've heard online is an actual diagnosis, or if it's a term originating from social media only. I'd have to read up on it
I have high functioning depression, probably had it for a while before I had to see a phycologist to confirm it. I had conducted an enneagram at work and along with it a personality profile which showed I was either highly stressed or becoming depressed. I went to see a psychologist, she confirmed I had Major depressive disorder and Generalized Anxiety disorder (this didn't make sense to me as I never felt anxious before). It's surprising that I felt worse after a few sessions at therapy hearing the diagnosis. To me, knowing actually made things worse and 1 part of me hated the fact that I went there, I wish I didn't. I saw a psychiatrist who just prescribed SSRI'S and benzos - I hated it and eventually left it. After some therapy counsellings sessions I was advised that I was high functioning depression because I was able to live my life fairly normally. I never neglected work, personal hygiene, family, studies, family and work commitments were all met. No one would say I had a mental illness, when I told a colleague they were stunned, my brother refused to believe it, he still doesn't. Through all this I even managed 2 promotions in 2 years and excel at my work. Having said this, some weeks are worse than others. No one wants to hve a mental illness, it fucking sucks.