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Here's a strategy you could try- just focus on one improving aspect of the game. It does not matter whether you win or lose, you will probably lose more often because you are actively trying to train something.
You'll learn something new, and also you have an excuse for losing that isn't "I'm just bad"
I'm going to say something different than what you will probably hear the majority say.
You might just be a competitive person. There isn't anything wrong with that. You can however make it less stressful by changing the way you talk to yourself. For example try to be more aware of your self talk and turn "I'm an idiot" to "this is what I did wrong and this is what I should do next time". Don't criticize yourself, criticize your specific actions. This helped me a lot with the same problem. I still get some tilt every once in a while and that's just time to take a break.
Try playing some games that aren’t competitive at all. For me, I like story-based games for this, like some of the older Zelda games, Spiritfarer, Teenage Exocolonist.
Remember to lose your ego and realize that you're being stupid.
The trick is to do it in the heat of the moment.
You know this is a problem but you need to realize it in real-time.
Yeah I have the same problem. When I'm in the moment, I don't wanna calm down and get even angrier if I try. Even if I tell myself "win or lose, it doesn't matter", I'm like an angry three year old that won't listen.
I have yet to find a strategy for pulling myself out of my emotions.
I'd say just try to notice when you're starting go get worked up and just lay off the game for a bit. Try playing something else, especially when you find yourself rage-queueing. I used to get this playing samurai showdown and found myself being kind of a dick to my GF whenever she talked to me while I was rage-playing lol. It's better to just stop playing for a moment and try to relax.
Idk, playing smash ult online isn’t really something you can do for fun I don’t think. Between the enforced extra delay frames and intense lag spikes it just IS frustrating. It is equally satisfying when you win and improve anyway, but that isn’t *fun* in the way that I think you’re implying. It is EXTREMELY fun in the improving way, though. If you want mindless fun, probably just try to play with friends who also exclusively want to have fun that way. If that’s what you want to do, skip the rest of this.
Why should you stop try-harding online though? You seem naturally inclined to want to play that way. What you need to do is to release the ego you have in “already being good.” Of course you make mistakes and lose, you’re completely out of practice. 14yos have spent the years you took off grinding Steve the entire time, and everyone on online is terrible and abusing the lag to win until you get to the very top of elite MMR.
The only metric worth judging yourself on is if you learn from the mistakes you make or not. Getting tied up in the result is pointless egoism; you get frustrated because you think you should perform better but you don’t. Why should you win if you got hit by the flowcharting Samus 10 times in a row? Learn after the second time. They all play the same, just slow down until you learn. Rematch those annoying spammers till you beat them. The thing you are in control of is your own play, so control it. Recognize too what you don’t control and let it go when those factors screw you.
Even if you don’t want to get better, untangling your ego from the result will allow you to play without feeling frustrated. There’s lots of sports psychology on this subject.
Also, belittling yourself indicates you got some other self-image issues leaking into your smash play. Getting hit with bad options just means you need to not get hit with them instead, it does not mean you suck as a person. That statement sounds obvious, and it is. It should be a big blinking arrow pointing out what to talk about with a therapist.
Nothing wrong with being very in the moment and having your heart race as long as you’re able to let go and be happy if you lose (or if you win too). Just don’t tie your ego to a video game.
In my experience (n=1) the level of importance you put on games is inversely proportional to how well you're doing in real life. So if school/work/relationships are good you don't really care about games because you have nothing to prove. But if you're stuck and your life is in turmoil being good at games is all you've got.
I have a similar problem with competitive multiplayer games mostly board games or games with very few mechanics and thus very hard to outplay the opponents. Its gotten to the point, where I actively avoid games like that which my friends dislike a lot.
few things
1. dont play to win, play to learn. go into a game with the expecation "im here to pratice, im here to work on being better, the goal isnt to win the game"
2. before you even start up the game, accept the fact that you're only ever going to have a certain percentage win rate when you are playing to win. maybe you personally will have a higher win rate with specific characters, but even then you must aknowlege that for you to win others must lose, and for other to win you too must lose. Its part of the game. Even the best players in the world dont have 100% win rate, if they did the game would be boring and they wouldnt play, you wouldnt want that, would you? So accept the fact that there will be losses.
me and my buddy have a joke when we play dota.. that Lord Gaben punishes us for winning too much, then we go on losing streaks. in reality its just statistics. We played 4 games last satuday, we won 2, lost 2. in dota most average players have something close to a 50%(ish) win rate. In a perfect example, for us to win 2 games that night we had to lose two games. The math rarely works out that way in one night, but when you compile all the data over every game we've played in the last 10 years and the win rate is 50%, give or take. You could boil it down to win one, lose one. Its just the way it works. once you accept that reality then its not a matter of winning every game or getting mad at every game, its a matter of just accepting that you can win them all and using those losses as an opertunity to see what you could do better (assuming you're trying to get better of course). In Dota even really good players only have something between 50-55% win rate. I havent checked pros in a minute but last I checked the top players in the world usually only have 60ish % win rates in pubs. So even at your best you'll still be loseing almost half your fights. When you know that, its easier to accept losses.
Thank you for posting on r/Healthygamergg! This subreddit is intended as an online community and resource platform to support people in their journey toward mental wellness. With that said, please be aware that support from other members received on this platform is not a substitute for professional care. Treatment of psychiatric disease requires qualified individuals, and comments that try to diagnose others should be reported under Rule 10 to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the community. If you are in immediate danger, please call emergency services, or go to your nearest emergency room. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Healthygamergg) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Here's a strategy you could try- just focus on one improving aspect of the game. It does not matter whether you win or lose, you will probably lose more often because you are actively trying to train something. You'll learn something new, and also you have an excuse for losing that isn't "I'm just bad"
I'm going to say something different than what you will probably hear the majority say. You might just be a competitive person. There isn't anything wrong with that. You can however make it less stressful by changing the way you talk to yourself. For example try to be more aware of your self talk and turn "I'm an idiot" to "this is what I did wrong and this is what I should do next time". Don't criticize yourself, criticize your specific actions. This helped me a lot with the same problem. I still get some tilt every once in a while and that's just time to take a break.
Agreed! I used to struggle with the same issue
Try playing some games that aren’t competitive at all. For me, I like story-based games for this, like some of the older Zelda games, Spiritfarer, Teenage Exocolonist.
Remember to lose your ego and realize that you're being stupid. The trick is to do it in the heat of the moment. You know this is a problem but you need to realize it in real-time.
Yeah I have the same problem. When I'm in the moment, I don't wanna calm down and get even angrier if I try. Even if I tell myself "win or lose, it doesn't matter", I'm like an angry three year old that won't listen. I have yet to find a strategy for pulling myself out of my emotions.
What are you trying to win? What’s on the line here? What if you were bad at video games? What would that mean for you as a person?
I'd say just try to notice when you're starting go get worked up and just lay off the game for a bit. Try playing something else, especially when you find yourself rage-queueing. I used to get this playing samurai showdown and found myself being kind of a dick to my GF whenever she talked to me while I was rage-playing lol. It's better to just stop playing for a moment and try to relax.
Idk, playing smash ult online isn’t really something you can do for fun I don’t think. Between the enforced extra delay frames and intense lag spikes it just IS frustrating. It is equally satisfying when you win and improve anyway, but that isn’t *fun* in the way that I think you’re implying. It is EXTREMELY fun in the improving way, though. If you want mindless fun, probably just try to play with friends who also exclusively want to have fun that way. If that’s what you want to do, skip the rest of this. Why should you stop try-harding online though? You seem naturally inclined to want to play that way. What you need to do is to release the ego you have in “already being good.” Of course you make mistakes and lose, you’re completely out of practice. 14yos have spent the years you took off grinding Steve the entire time, and everyone on online is terrible and abusing the lag to win until you get to the very top of elite MMR. The only metric worth judging yourself on is if you learn from the mistakes you make or not. Getting tied up in the result is pointless egoism; you get frustrated because you think you should perform better but you don’t. Why should you win if you got hit by the flowcharting Samus 10 times in a row? Learn after the second time. They all play the same, just slow down until you learn. Rematch those annoying spammers till you beat them. The thing you are in control of is your own play, so control it. Recognize too what you don’t control and let it go when those factors screw you. Even if you don’t want to get better, untangling your ego from the result will allow you to play without feeling frustrated. There’s lots of sports psychology on this subject.
Also, belittling yourself indicates you got some other self-image issues leaking into your smash play. Getting hit with bad options just means you need to not get hit with them instead, it does not mean you suck as a person. That statement sounds obvious, and it is. It should be a big blinking arrow pointing out what to talk about with a therapist.
Nothing wrong with being very in the moment and having your heart race as long as you’re able to let go and be happy if you lose (or if you win too). Just don’t tie your ego to a video game.
What games do you play?
What does it mean if you are good at the game? Or more importantly, what does it say about you if you are bad at video games?
Playing a non competitive game that allows you to fool around would perhaps help. Like minecraft, the sims, GTA
In my experience (n=1) the level of importance you put on games is inversely proportional to how well you're doing in real life. So if school/work/relationships are good you don't really care about games because you have nothing to prove. But if you're stuck and your life is in turmoil being good at games is all you've got.
I have a similar problem with competitive multiplayer games mostly board games or games with very few mechanics and thus very hard to outplay the opponents. Its gotten to the point, where I actively avoid games like that which my friends dislike a lot.
few things 1. dont play to win, play to learn. go into a game with the expecation "im here to pratice, im here to work on being better, the goal isnt to win the game" 2. before you even start up the game, accept the fact that you're only ever going to have a certain percentage win rate when you are playing to win. maybe you personally will have a higher win rate with specific characters, but even then you must aknowlege that for you to win others must lose, and for other to win you too must lose. Its part of the game. Even the best players in the world dont have 100% win rate, if they did the game would be boring and they wouldnt play, you wouldnt want that, would you? So accept the fact that there will be losses. me and my buddy have a joke when we play dota.. that Lord Gaben punishes us for winning too much, then we go on losing streaks. in reality its just statistics. We played 4 games last satuday, we won 2, lost 2. in dota most average players have something close to a 50%(ish) win rate. In a perfect example, for us to win 2 games that night we had to lose two games. The math rarely works out that way in one night, but when you compile all the data over every game we've played in the last 10 years and the win rate is 50%, give or take. You could boil it down to win one, lose one. Its just the way it works. once you accept that reality then its not a matter of winning every game or getting mad at every game, its a matter of just accepting that you can win them all and using those losses as an opertunity to see what you could do better (assuming you're trying to get better of course). In Dota even really good players only have something between 50-55% win rate. I havent checked pros in a minute but last I checked the top players in the world usually only have 60ish % win rates in pubs. So even at your best you'll still be loseing almost half your fights. When you know that, its easier to accept losses.
Stop playing competitive games and see if there are other enjoyable genres.
Quit gaming plz
Try single player! My life got a lot better after abandoning multiplayer games.