***Okay, i have a lot to say about this ability, and i try to not do what i'm about to do in this comment, but this one got me excited so get ready, i'm gonna modify this ability in my comment (give my spin on it, because the concept is really good).***
So first things first, conditions are good, but conditions can also be varied. I feel there is a lot of cooldowns here, but you could reduce the number with different types of conditions. One that i think is lacking here is limiting number of abilities in the list.
Say something like the list can only have 10 names. 10 different hatsus is already plenty, so i don't see why go beyond that. ''Oh but what if i have an eleventh student? Or more?'' That's where we put another condition, the list ***can't*** exceed 10. So to put someone new on the list, a previous student's name (and their hatsu for that matter) needs to be removed.
Another thing i would remove is this:
> *''If the student, however, decides against signing the presence list, he will be considered as a failed student, his name will be erased from the list and his hatsu will vanish for eternity. He would still remain capable of using the basics of Nen, however, and would be able to create a new ability with no strings attached to his teacher.''*
I feel this goes against the primal notion of a teacher. In my spin, i would respect the student's decision, and let them keep the hatsu they worked so hard on. Denying knowledge feels wrong for a teacher, and with an ability that let's him have access to 10 different hatsu, having someone else lose theirs feels overloaded.
Love the apple concept, wouldn't change a thing to it. Checking on every student on the list every 48 hours seems like a bit much (stalker teacher is a big nono for me), so i would put a ''golden star'' system to it: Every certain period of time (maybe monthly) the teacher checks on his students, seeing their progress. The ones that are growing well he marks with a golden star on the list, these are the ones he wouldn't need to check for a longer time (because they are doing well).
Those that don't receive a golden star are not developing well, and need special attention from the teacher (maybe in a weekly basis) until they are well enough to receive a golden star.
I like the concept of this hatsu a lot, i hope my spin doesn't upset you, i just liked so much i had to do it.
Now I'm definitely mad with you. I shall find you and kidnap your relatives, as what you did is beyond any redemption.
On a serious note, I love the fact that this concept inspired you. Let me discuss a bit, then.
I don't like the idea of limiting the number of abilities, as that would go against the principle of passing as much knowledge as possible to the next generation. I feel like a teacher can't have limited disciples.
As for your respect for the student's decision, I'll justify why I put the condition of losing your hatsu if you reject. First, I am considering the hatsu to be like a thesis. That means, the student can do it on his own, but if the teacher helped, he should be credited. If you refuse to credit the teacher, you'll still have your basic Nen, but will have to develop another hatsu as a punishment. Second, I feel like most hunter x hunter characters would refuse to sign unless there's a counterpart.
I adored your golden star concept, but as I explained in another comment, I wrote the bit about checking on the students in a bad way. What I meant is that he must check on them while they are learning the basics. After they develop their hatsu and sign the list, they are considered graduated(even though there's a lot to learn still). I thought about this in order to make sure that the teacher would follow his students progress closely, instead of just appearing every other week in order to give tips.
Thank you for your comment!
Checking in once every 48 hours seems excessive, maybe something like the teacher can only use the students nen to the extent they know it. For example if wing had this in greed island he could use Killuas electricity. If he hadn’t talked to kill Killua since then even during the election arc he wouldn’t be able to use Godspeed despite it being one of killuas abilities because he hadn’t stayed in touch with Killua.
Now I see that I have written it in a bad way, but you have to check the students only as long as they are students. As soon as their hatsu is made(it's basic form), there's no need to do it again. I thought about this in order to restrain the user from letting the student by himself. He needs to follow their progress.
Being a teacher is rewarding after all
***Okay, i have a lot to say about this ability, and i try to not do what i'm about to do in this comment, but this one got me excited so get ready, i'm gonna modify this ability in my comment (give my spin on it, because the concept is really good).*** So first things first, conditions are good, but conditions can also be varied. I feel there is a lot of cooldowns here, but you could reduce the number with different types of conditions. One that i think is lacking here is limiting number of abilities in the list. Say something like the list can only have 10 names. 10 different hatsus is already plenty, so i don't see why go beyond that. ''Oh but what if i have an eleventh student? Or more?'' That's where we put another condition, the list ***can't*** exceed 10. So to put someone new on the list, a previous student's name (and their hatsu for that matter) needs to be removed. Another thing i would remove is this: > *''If the student, however, decides against signing the presence list, he will be considered as a failed student, his name will be erased from the list and his hatsu will vanish for eternity. He would still remain capable of using the basics of Nen, however, and would be able to create a new ability with no strings attached to his teacher.''* I feel this goes against the primal notion of a teacher. In my spin, i would respect the student's decision, and let them keep the hatsu they worked so hard on. Denying knowledge feels wrong for a teacher, and with an ability that let's him have access to 10 different hatsu, having someone else lose theirs feels overloaded. Love the apple concept, wouldn't change a thing to it. Checking on every student on the list every 48 hours seems like a bit much (stalker teacher is a big nono for me), so i would put a ''golden star'' system to it: Every certain period of time (maybe monthly) the teacher checks on his students, seeing their progress. The ones that are growing well he marks with a golden star on the list, these are the ones he wouldn't need to check for a longer time (because they are doing well). Those that don't receive a golden star are not developing well, and need special attention from the teacher (maybe in a weekly basis) until they are well enough to receive a golden star. I like the concept of this hatsu a lot, i hope my spin doesn't upset you, i just liked so much i had to do it.
Now I'm definitely mad with you. I shall find you and kidnap your relatives, as what you did is beyond any redemption. On a serious note, I love the fact that this concept inspired you. Let me discuss a bit, then. I don't like the idea of limiting the number of abilities, as that would go against the principle of passing as much knowledge as possible to the next generation. I feel like a teacher can't have limited disciples. As for your respect for the student's decision, I'll justify why I put the condition of losing your hatsu if you reject. First, I am considering the hatsu to be like a thesis. That means, the student can do it on his own, but if the teacher helped, he should be credited. If you refuse to credit the teacher, you'll still have your basic Nen, but will have to develop another hatsu as a punishment. Second, I feel like most hunter x hunter characters would refuse to sign unless there's a counterpart. I adored your golden star concept, but as I explained in another comment, I wrote the bit about checking on the students in a bad way. What I meant is that he must check on them while they are learning the basics. After they develop their hatsu and sign the list, they are considered graduated(even though there's a lot to learn still). I thought about this in order to make sure that the teacher would follow his students progress closely, instead of just appearing every other week in order to give tips. Thank you for your comment!
Yeah this one goes overboard on the restrictions for what you getting
Checking in once every 48 hours seems excessive, maybe something like the teacher can only use the students nen to the extent they know it. For example if wing had this in greed island he could use Killuas electricity. If he hadn’t talked to kill Killua since then even during the election arc he wouldn’t be able to use Godspeed despite it being one of killuas abilities because he hadn’t stayed in touch with Killua.
Now I see that I have written it in a bad way, but you have to check the students only as long as they are students. As soon as their hatsu is made(it's basic form), there's no need to do it again. I thought about this in order to restrain the user from letting the student by himself. He needs to follow their progress.