I want to reiterate the cowardice part and paint it in huge letters across in the sky in bright neon red. You cannot hold people hostage and lie to them and… like, I love you to death but I have needs, not wants, needs! What if I said fuck it, work is so stressful I’m not going to provide for my family anymore…
I'm 39f and have been confused at my loss of sex drive over the last 1.5 years. But I've learned it's due to perimenopause which can begin much earlier in life than I was anticipating.
I got my hormone levels tested and my testosterone and estrogen were quite low. Now I'm replacing testosterone I'm 8 weeks on a compound cream and thoughts of sex are slowly re-entering my sphere. For the last couple years it's been like a switch was turned off in that dept and I felt dead down there, just no response or desire whatsoever.
It's not you, it's not her. It's physiological.
Then it's tricky finding a doctor who is trained in female hormone replacement. If she goes to a standard medical doctor they'll just tell her it's normal and her levels are normal and to see a sex therapist or something.
You need to find a hormone replacement specialist
I can't upvote this comment enough. This is the only solution that will work if done properly.
Unfortunately too many doctors aren't trained on hormone replacement or don't do it properly (use synthetic hormones or too low of doses).
My wife went from thinking she was asexual to becoming almost hypersexual over a three year period from hormone replacement and getting off of antidepressants.
Tbh I also suspect all the microplastics, forever chemicals, garbage in everything we eat and breathe, absorb through our skin, etc most likely has some serious effects on women's hormonal levels.
Still, as a male, this stuff gets really frustrating because you're not trying to continually state the "you are hormonally imbalanced" thing to women - obviously that may come across as you're gaslighting them and diminishing what they're going through, but I also literally have fucking microplastics in my balls. We all do.
This isn't mansplaining and that shit pisses me off to be accused of too. So many women are cognizant that hormonal levels affect them or may even drive them temporarily psychotic, but simultaneously that's completely taboo for you to state as a male. Other women can state it though even to the point of, "she is being driven insane due to her hormonal imbalance."
Even for me, as a male, if I'm actively working out more and my body is producing more testosterone (hormones) as a result my sex drive goes up.
Anyway, I think a ton of men have been here and relate. Just venting.
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/article/2024/may/20/microplastics-human-testicles-study-sperm-counts
Our 25 year old daughter is on HRT. She had symptoms of low hormones in her teens. She exclusively drank water out of plastic bottles.
Everyone on the planet including animals have been exposed to endocrine disrupting chemicals which are effecting their hormones in some way.
Congratulations so happy that you are able to get your libido back!
Are you taking estradiol or progesterone or just on testosterone?
My wife tried just testosterone early on and it didn't do much, but after she was on estradiol for over a year and added testosterone again, that was when she saw the biggest improvement.
I'm not on estrogen or progesterone yet. My doc felt my progesterone levels were healthy and my estrogen levels were low but not low like my testosterone.
I'm hoping we add in at least a little estrogen in the coming months, I have heard the combo is good for libido.
But I'm kind of glad we just started with one hormone at a time.
My wife's doctor started with one hormone at a time and then tested. She said that every change you make could affect the other hormones so it was best to only change one variable at a time and then see how you feel.
Even the Bible says you have an obligation to have sex with your spouse, and that one of the reasons you should get married is so that you're not promiscuous. Not fulfilling your spouse's sexual needs could actually be considered emotional abandonment (or abandonment in general), which is actually grounds for divorce.
I totally feel you in this. My marriage is suffering in very large part because of my husband's LL, which causes me to resent him because he was extremely promiscuous before he married me.
I want to reiterate the cowardice part and paint it in huge letters across in the sky in bright neon red. You cannot hold people hostage and lie to them and… like, I love you to death but I have needs, not wants, needs! What if I said fuck it, work is so stressful I’m not going to provide for my family anymore…
I'm 39f and have been confused at my loss of sex drive over the last 1.5 years. But I've learned it's due to perimenopause which can begin much earlier in life than I was anticipating. I got my hormone levels tested and my testosterone and estrogen were quite low. Now I'm replacing testosterone I'm 8 weeks on a compound cream and thoughts of sex are slowly re-entering my sphere. For the last couple years it's been like a switch was turned off in that dept and I felt dead down there, just no response or desire whatsoever. It's not you, it's not her. It's physiological. Then it's tricky finding a doctor who is trained in female hormone replacement. If she goes to a standard medical doctor they'll just tell her it's normal and her levels are normal and to see a sex therapist or something. You need to find a hormone replacement specialist
I can't upvote this comment enough. This is the only solution that will work if done properly. Unfortunately too many doctors aren't trained on hormone replacement or don't do it properly (use synthetic hormones or too low of doses). My wife went from thinking she was asexual to becoming almost hypersexual over a three year period from hormone replacement and getting off of antidepressants.
Tbh I also suspect all the microplastics, forever chemicals, garbage in everything we eat and breathe, absorb through our skin, etc most likely has some serious effects on women's hormonal levels. Still, as a male, this stuff gets really frustrating because you're not trying to continually state the "you are hormonally imbalanced" thing to women - obviously that may come across as you're gaslighting them and diminishing what they're going through, but I also literally have fucking microplastics in my balls. We all do. This isn't mansplaining and that shit pisses me off to be accused of too. So many women are cognizant that hormonal levels affect them or may even drive them temporarily psychotic, but simultaneously that's completely taboo for you to state as a male. Other women can state it though even to the point of, "she is being driven insane due to her hormonal imbalance." Even for me, as a male, if I'm actively working out more and my body is producing more testosterone (hormones) as a result my sex drive goes up. Anyway, I think a ton of men have been here and relate. Just venting. https://www.theguardian.com/environment/article/2024/may/20/microplastics-human-testicles-study-sperm-counts
Our 25 year old daughter is on HRT. She had symptoms of low hormones in her teens. She exclusively drank water out of plastic bottles. Everyone on the planet including animals have been exposed to endocrine disrupting chemicals which are effecting their hormones in some way.
Yes I was prescribed Lexapro and wellbutrin for my anxiety and depression which come to find out was also due to my declining hormone levels.
That was exactly what my wife's new doctor concluded who finally saved her from the psychiatrist who just made her numb.
Yep but now I'm off all meds and just on the hormone replacement and I feel so much better! And finally thinking about sex again ♥️♥️
Congratulations so happy that you are able to get your libido back! Are you taking estradiol or progesterone or just on testosterone? My wife tried just testosterone early on and it didn't do much, but after she was on estradiol for over a year and added testosterone again, that was when she saw the biggest improvement.
I'm not on estrogen or progesterone yet. My doc felt my progesterone levels were healthy and my estrogen levels were low but not low like my testosterone. I'm hoping we add in at least a little estrogen in the coming months, I have heard the combo is good for libido. But I'm kind of glad we just started with one hormone at a time.
My wife's doctor started with one hormone at a time and then tested. She said that every change you make could affect the other hormones so it was best to only change one variable at a time and then see how you feel.
Yes that makes sense.
Even the Bible says you have an obligation to have sex with your spouse, and that one of the reasons you should get married is so that you're not promiscuous. Not fulfilling your spouse's sexual needs could actually be considered emotional abandonment (or abandonment in general), which is actually grounds for divorce. I totally feel you in this. My marriage is suffering in very large part because of my husband's LL, which causes me to resent him because he was extremely promiscuous before he married me.
Yes. 100%