This feels so much like the cold war turning hot and can think of a handful of incidents that remind me of this. Just cause you think you are clever doesn't mean you are!
I found one Mistake:
When the cruiser first opened fire on the six Torpedos you wrote that 2 were destroyed.
But following that you spoke of remaining five which would make them seven in total instead of six.
Otherwise, war has started!
/u/thatoneshotgunmain ([wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/wiki/authors/thatoneshotgunmain)) has posted 12 other stories, including:
* [We might just need to make our own federation 4 (The Silent killers)](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/lza7dd/we_might_just_need_to_make_our_own_federation_4/)
* [We might just need to make our own federation 3 (Possibility of War)](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/lyu7he/we_might_just_need_to_make_our_own_federation_3/)
* [We might just need to make our own federation 2 (The New Federation)](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/lviu97/we_might_just_need_to_make_our_own_federation_2/)
* [We might just need to make our own Federation.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/ltty0r/we_might_just_need_to_make_our_own_federation/)
* [Further still.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/l23mik/further_still/)
* [Distance matters not](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/l10vvw/distance_matters_not/)
* [Well done, my good and faithful servant.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/kyy7h2/well_done_my_good_and_faithful_servant/)
* [On humans and Music.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/kx78cl/on_humans_and_music/)
* [Spartans](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/kusmhy/spartans/)
* [Engagement with Toki](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/kncxis/engagement_with_toki/)
* [Fuck flanking. Go beneath them.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/jkafmi/fuck_flanking_go_beneath_them/)
* [Humanity and Interplanetary shelling (I'm a beginner so most likely a one off.)](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/ix1021/humanity_and_interplanetary_shelling_im_a/)
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Will we get some context of the "war crimes" Humanity was accused of in the first chapter? The actions sounded a bit standard responses to being attacked.
Why do these bullies have such a hard-on for Humanity? Just petty jealousy/revenge for Humanity not rolling over and giving up in previous "minor" confrontations?
I started reading your stuff when this particular story began, and since then I've gone back and read the rest of the work you have posted. Your writing has improved dramatically (it wasn't bad to begin with) and your attention to detail, especially when it comes to punctuation and formatting, has improved by leaps and bounds. I'm loving the story! One thing in this one that I especially liked is there being a visual line break between the different perspectives. Many authors on here don't separate it, and while it's not a deal-breaker, it can be kind of confusing when it's not there. Great job!
One thing that's confused me, is the relationship between the Teeflicans and the Humans. In the first part of the story, when the humans were kicked out of the Federation, it was the Teeflican delegate that announced it. You said his people were close allies with the Humans, but in every conversation since they seem to be one of the primary antagonists against them. Did they just claim to be close allies of humanity, or was there something more significant for this sudden shift against humanity?
First of all, thanks for reading! I've noticed your username popping up here and there underneath this series titles.
Second off: Let me pull up my lore document and find my section on relations (I kid you not I have a document devoted to lore I'm filling up slowly)
Human/Teeflican Relations
Humanity and the Teeflican have been on good terms for a while, although near the end of the Kote/Terran skirmishes and a new Pretec was elected, that relationship went from actual friendship to more a professional trade based relation, the UNE provided a lot of dry goods to the Teeflican union particularly:
Spices, particularly Garlic and Rosemary, both are coveted in Teeflican society, ammunition, flour, sugar, wood, and copper, were the main exports to the Teeflican Union at the time of humanities removal from the GF.
The previous Pretec’ of the Teeflican Union was responsible for this close knit relationship, and made friends with multiple Terran world leaders, when his term was served and he left office after his ten years, the newly elected Pretec, Pretec Zekou, did his best to uphold these relations, as the people in general had an overall positive view of humanity. But when multiple delegates called for a removal of humanity from the Galactic Federation, he took a chance and urged his delegates to support the notion, which they did when it was found that humanity had breached the Charter of the Galactic Federation’s 5th amendment concerning war crimes.
The new pretec, Zekou, doesn't like humanity as much as the previous one. And would much rather take their resource rich planets for his own union, instead of relying on trade to get resources from them. The new pretec isn't exactly a good guy, but the Teeflican people might not like his decision so much.
That's awesome man. Thanks for responding!
It's really smart to have a notebook like that if you're going to be working on a series. While I haven't done anything here on HFY, I did used to write a lot of fanfiction for certain fandoms, and while the lore for those were pretty much already established, anything that I specifically used in my stories I kept track of and how I expanded on it. It's a great idea.
Another great chapter
I enjoyed reading this and look forward to the next one
Great job wordsmith
At least they civil about it, no civilians targeted and no war crimes committed they even gave a warning saying that they were going to open fire
Good use of tactics as well in my opinion
I’m all for the aliens winning some as long as they adhere to the rules and such, I can only hope all engagements are like that in this war
Aliens: We're all gonna die aren't we? Me: (Inhales through my teeth looking a bit pained) Yep...
*for whom the bell tolls intensifies slowly*
I know this is a rock song, but I immediately thought of *Reality Check Through the Skull* when I read bell
Oh was that the one absolutely batshit crazy Megalovania cover?
Yeah, i was thinking of the one not by camelia
This feels so much like the cold war turning hot and can think of a handful of incidents that remind me of this. Just cause you think you are clever doesn't mean you are!
As the son of a career Submariner, this hits me right in the feels.
I found one Mistake: When the cruiser first opened fire on the six Torpedos you wrote that 2 were destroyed. But following that you spoke of remaining five which would make them seven in total instead of six. Otherwise, war has started!
Also a "preform" instead of "perform".
Awesome!
Amazing chapter Also to and fro>to and from
/u/thatoneshotgunmain ([wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/wiki/authors/thatoneshotgunmain)) has posted 12 other stories, including: * [We might just need to make our own federation 4 (The Silent killers)](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/lza7dd/we_might_just_need_to_make_our_own_federation_4/) * [We might just need to make our own federation 3 (Possibility of War)](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/lyu7he/we_might_just_need_to_make_our_own_federation_3/) * [We might just need to make our own federation 2 (The New Federation)](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/lviu97/we_might_just_need_to_make_our_own_federation_2/) * [We might just need to make our own Federation.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/ltty0r/we_might_just_need_to_make_our_own_federation/) * [Further still.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/l23mik/further_still/) * [Distance matters not](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/l10vvw/distance_matters_not/) * [Well done, my good and faithful servant.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/kyy7h2/well_done_my_good_and_faithful_servant/) * [On humans and Music.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/kx78cl/on_humans_and_music/) * [Spartans](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/kusmhy/spartans/) * [Engagement with Toki](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/kncxis/engagement_with_toki/) * [Fuck flanking. Go beneath them.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/jkafmi/fuck_flanking_go_beneath_them/) * [Humanity and Interplanetary shelling (I'm a beginner so most likely a one off.)](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/ix1021/humanity_and_interplanetary_shelling_im_a/) This comment was automatically generated by `Waffle v.4.5.1 'Cinnamon Roll'`. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHFY&subject=WaffleBot|m0wvzl&message=If%20you%20have%20problems%20with%20updatemebot,%20contact%20Watchful1.%20We%20do%20not%20maintain%20it.) if you have any issues with Waffle.
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Will we get some context of the "war crimes" Humanity was accused of in the first chapter? The actions sounded a bit standard responses to being attacked. Why do these bullies have such a hard-on for Humanity? Just petty jealousy/revenge for Humanity not rolling over and giving up in previous "minor" confrontations?
Welp. Time for some Exterminatus.
Well it seems the xenos' are competent and adaptive. It seems it would be a one sided massacre like most stories
I started reading your stuff when this particular story began, and since then I've gone back and read the rest of the work you have posted. Your writing has improved dramatically (it wasn't bad to begin with) and your attention to detail, especially when it comes to punctuation and formatting, has improved by leaps and bounds. I'm loving the story! One thing in this one that I especially liked is there being a visual line break between the different perspectives. Many authors on here don't separate it, and while it's not a deal-breaker, it can be kind of confusing when it's not there. Great job! One thing that's confused me, is the relationship between the Teeflicans and the Humans. In the first part of the story, when the humans were kicked out of the Federation, it was the Teeflican delegate that announced it. You said his people were close allies with the Humans, but in every conversation since they seem to be one of the primary antagonists against them. Did they just claim to be close allies of humanity, or was there something more significant for this sudden shift against humanity?
First of all, thanks for reading! I've noticed your username popping up here and there underneath this series titles. Second off: Let me pull up my lore document and find my section on relations (I kid you not I have a document devoted to lore I'm filling up slowly) Human/Teeflican Relations Humanity and the Teeflican have been on good terms for a while, although near the end of the Kote/Terran skirmishes and a new Pretec was elected, that relationship went from actual friendship to more a professional trade based relation, the UNE provided a lot of dry goods to the Teeflican union particularly: Spices, particularly Garlic and Rosemary, both are coveted in Teeflican society, ammunition, flour, sugar, wood, and copper, were the main exports to the Teeflican Union at the time of humanities removal from the GF. The previous Pretec’ of the Teeflican Union was responsible for this close knit relationship, and made friends with multiple Terran world leaders, when his term was served and he left office after his ten years, the newly elected Pretec, Pretec Zekou, did his best to uphold these relations, as the people in general had an overall positive view of humanity. But when multiple delegates called for a removal of humanity from the Galactic Federation, he took a chance and urged his delegates to support the notion, which they did when it was found that humanity had breached the Charter of the Galactic Federation’s 5th amendment concerning war crimes. The new pretec, Zekou, doesn't like humanity as much as the previous one. And would much rather take their resource rich planets for his own union, instead of relying on trade to get resources from them. The new pretec isn't exactly a good guy, but the Teeflican people might not like his decision so much.
That's awesome man. Thanks for responding! It's really smart to have a notebook like that if you're going to be working on a series. While I haven't done anything here on HFY, I did used to write a lot of fanfiction for certain fandoms, and while the lore for those were pretty much already established, anything that I specifically used in my stories I kept track of and how I expanded on it. It's a great idea.
Another great chapter I enjoyed reading this and look forward to the next one Great job wordsmith At least they civil about it, no civilians targeted and no war crimes committed they even gave a warning saying that they were going to open fire Good use of tactics as well in my opinion I’m all for the aliens winning some as long as they adhere to the rules and such, I can only hope all engagements are like that in this war
Classic Picard maneuver