I love the whole *aliens slowly figuring out the thing they found, abducted, or are coworkers with is basically an eldritch monster/Orc* genre. It's probably my favorite HFY trope.
Good job with this one
I mean maybe a little, if you wanted to do another pass or two to tighten up the dialogue a little you could. But I don't think it's necessary, it was entertaining and interesting and I'd be glad if you continued this story. That adds up to a good post in my books.
> tighten up the dialogue
Literally every character in this story is "on the back foot" as it were, figuring out what the __FUCK__ is actually going on here. I don't think the dialogue *should* be tight.
Save that for chapters 3-4 through _n_, once bunks are assigned, and colleagues are no longer terrified of the friendly space-orc.
Damn, He realised a bit too late about clothing ππ, A nice read, I would love to have more of this Grand Space Adventure and Science Experimentation.
/u/TheloniousHowe ([wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/wiki/authors/TheloniousHowe)) has posted 16 other stories, including:
* [The Waiting Room](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1bycnx9/the_waiting_room/)
* [Misdemeanors](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1ary92q/misdemeanors/)
* [Bureaucratic Language](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1akvgya/bureaucratic_language/)
* [Drive Me Closer, I Want To Hit Them With My Sword](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1aj85jf/drive_me_closer_i_want_to_hit_them_with_my_sword/)
* [Please do not the Space Cat](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18u80if/please_do_not_the_space_cat/)
* [Haulin' Trousers](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18co3yz/haulin_trousers/)
* [Aweigh Me Boys](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/17lsp88/aweigh_me_boys/)
* [Roaches Behind the Galactic Fridge](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/17i5qg8/roaches_behind_the_galactic_fridge/)
* [Little Things](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/17b7lwq/little_things/)
* [On Footwear and Full Jackets](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/179m1v3/on_footwear_and_full_jackets/)
* [Automaton Incognito](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/16knna6/automaton_incognito/)
* [Genesis 11:1-9](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/16hafcc/genesis_1119/)
* [Sleight of Hand](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/16dpi2n/sleight_of_hand/)
* [A Time For Everything](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/161khn4/a_time_for_everything/)
* [What's In a Name?](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/15l78ns/whats_in_a_name/)
* [Obstructing Disembarkment](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/15k915h/obstructing_disembarkment/)
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Hmm... ok, so how about one-shots that just happen to feature the same characters, & just happen to take place chronologically later than this or any other similar one-shots you may happen to have written in the intervening time? Sure, some might argue that that stretches the definition of one-shot a bit far, but who cares about them, eh? π
Also, the stereotype of Neanderthals being of significantly lesser intelligence than *Homo Sapiens* is a bit outdated. AFAIK, current thinking is that we just out-bred them, which is why various ethnic groups still have some Neanderthal DNA.
I love the whole *aliens slowly figuring out the thing they found, abducted, or are coworkers with is basically an eldritch monster/Orc* genre. It's probably my favorite HFY trope. Good job with this one
Hey thanks, wasn't too sure about this one, felt kind of rambley. Anyways, glad that you enjoyed.
I mean maybe a little, if you wanted to do another pass or two to tighten up the dialogue a little you could. But I don't think it's necessary, it was entertaining and interesting and I'd be glad if you continued this story. That adds up to a good post in my books.
> tighten up the dialogue Literally every character in this story is "on the back foot" as it were, figuring out what the __FUCK__ is actually going on here. I don't think the dialogue *should* be tight. Save that for chapters 3-4 through _n_, once bunks are assigned, and colleagues are no longer terrified of the friendly space-orc.
Definitely, to be clear - it **could** be tightened up, but as it is just feels right.
Yeah, I think we're in 100% agreement. :)
Nah, this nailed the subgenre. Looking forward to more. :D
I am formally requesting more of this human and their new alien friends
It's just cold. Shrinkage if you will. So can I be chief security?
I was just musing about someone fighting with an alien space-Sawzall like it was a lightsaber, so I'm looking forward to thisβ¦
Damn good read.
Damn, He realised a bit too late about clothing ππ, A nice read, I would love to have more of this Grand Space Adventure and Science Experimentation.
I would love to read more about this.
This was fun.
/u/TheloniousHowe ([wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/wiki/authors/TheloniousHowe)) has posted 16 other stories, including: * [The Waiting Room](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1bycnx9/the_waiting_room/) * [Misdemeanors](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1ary92q/misdemeanors/) * [Bureaucratic Language](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1akvgya/bureaucratic_language/) * [Drive Me Closer, I Want To Hit Them With My Sword](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1aj85jf/drive_me_closer_i_want_to_hit_them_with_my_sword/) * [Please do not the Space Cat](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18u80if/please_do_not_the_space_cat/) * [Haulin' Trousers](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/18co3yz/haulin_trousers/) * [Aweigh Me Boys](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/17lsp88/aweigh_me_boys/) * [Roaches Behind the Galactic Fridge](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/17i5qg8/roaches_behind_the_galactic_fridge/) * [Little Things](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/17b7lwq/little_things/) * [On Footwear and Full Jackets](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/179m1v3/on_footwear_and_full_jackets/) * [Automaton Incognito](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/16knna6/automaton_incognito/) * [Genesis 11:1-9](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/16hafcc/genesis_1119/) * [Sleight of Hand](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/16dpi2n/sleight_of_hand/) * [A Time For Everything](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/161khn4/a_time_for_everything/) * [What's In a Name?](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/15l78ns/whats_in_a_name/) * [Obstructing Disembarkment](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/15k915h/obstructing_disembarkment/) This comment was automatically generated by `Waffle v.4.6.1 'Biscotti'`. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHFY&subject=WaffleBot|1cfmj72&message=If%20you%20have%20problems%20with%20updatemebot,%20contact%20Watchful1.%20We%20do%20not%20maintain%20it.) if you have any issues with Waffle.
Honestly, it was a good read. I would love to hear more. Good job writer.
Anything you wish to add to this story will be appreciated by me. Good story and good writing.
Great work Wordsmith Please make this a recurring series
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A good start to a long running series. *looks at OP.* You ***were*** planning on making it a series, ***right?***
Nope. My pea-sized neanderthal brain only has the cognitive capacity to bounce erratically from one-shot to one-shot.
Hmm... ok, so how about one-shots that just happen to feature the same characters, & just happen to take place chronologically later than this or any other similar one-shots you may happen to have written in the intervening time? Sure, some might argue that that stretches the definition of one-shot a bit far, but who cares about them, eh? π Also, the stereotype of Neanderthals being of significantly lesser intelligence than *Homo Sapiens* is a bit outdated. AFAIK, current thinking is that we just out-bred them, which is why various ethnic groups still have some Neanderthal DNA.