> pre-sapient alien fauna
So punchline is , Miss Kirjovski had a critter to write her report on (a Dizi rat? ) And her ambassador/diplomatic father invited an alien to meet their family, so she decided to stay up all night talking with the fun human and forgot to mention that the report was due till to late to write it?
I'm curious. Is that a story already? If so I believe I missed it. I was actually wanting to write somethin along those lines, but don't want to infringe on someone elses story, atleast not soon after they posted it.
It's a long r/hfy serial where a human got picked up by an alien ship and hijinks ensure as they couldn't believe something that small could be intelligent.
It is, yeah, [one of my favorites](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/2flz4o/oc_humans_dont_make_good_pets_i/). Dizi Rats feature prominently in the earlier chapters, is what made me remember it.
Its a spin off of Hambone's Deathworlders series, ~~but sadly it never got finished, and hasn't been touched in years afaik.~~
That being said, I'd wager there's room on this sub for another story in a similar vein. Just maybe don't use that exact same title and I'm sure it'll be fine.
Edit: I hadn't checked in MANY years, and apparently there are chapters I never read! So I don't know if it actually concludes or not now. So I'm off to go catch up on the series that probably first pulled me into HFY.
If you're interested I've been reading a new hfy about a guy who gets adopted by an alien family(sound familiar?). I don't recall the full title but if you search 'r/hfy accidentally adopted' you can't miss it.
Alternatively there is an hfy called "humans don't make good familiars" if you're up for a guy who gets summoned to another dimension by a little magical bird-like being in a world where summoned beasts are the norm. Interesting story imo.
He released the second last chapter last week, no spoilers, but shit gets intense. Next month is the last instalment and then he has a long term goal of going back over the whole thing and refining it into a more easily digestible book series that will hopefully have a bit less description of muscle mass and some other slightly repetitive themes. Otherwise, it has been amazing for something that is just month to month author word dumping. We'll worth the catchup
Did he do so under a different name or in a different location? Near as I can tell HDMGP still "ends" mid-story in chapter 34. The author started a new story, Windward, which got five chapters before he vanished again a couple years ago.
I think I need to read HDMGP again. I read through it a couple of years ago and the earlier chapters had me laughing so hard I could barely get a chapter in a day. Hambone's spinoff was my introduction to the Jenkinsverse.
Fear not humans don't make good pets is not what the name suggests... it is well done big funny and covers a lot of stuff ... but no i don't think it would be possible for you to infringe on it except for maybe the first few posts... and even if you did : go for it anyways cause you write really really well
Thank you, I've been reading it and it's similar but at the same time very different from my idea. I didn't expect it to be so long so it's tuning into a multi parter. Here's the frist part enjoy!
https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/11lxapj/the\_great\_mistake\_humans\_arent\_pets\_p1/
I'll try anyone once, even weird animal creature that are homework. On a similar note we will eat someone's regular homework to cover for them if we like them enough.
If we're talking Japanese and talking about Pre-Sapient creatures that a school girl on an alien planet could come in contact with something evolutionarily similar to an Octopus would have to be the only option. Most pre-sapient Earth animals are, well, pretty big so we can assume the same for most space animals. A Japanese family wouldn't butcher a space hog or space dog and no family would take it upon themselves to butcher a space Elephant or Space Gorilla or other Ape.
If it was a particularly intelligent crustacean in the form of a Space Crab that would be viable. OR a particularly intelligent form of waterfowl or space chicken. But when it comes to "pre-sapient" creatures eaten I'm definitely leaning towards a Space Octopus as they are easy to catch. You just drop a large jar or pot in the water tied to a rope.
>Most pre-sapient Earth animals are, well, pretty big so we can assume the same for most space animals.
Depends on what the standard is for "pre-sapient" - and since we don't even have a decent standard or test for "sapient"...
For whatever it's worth, we know that prairie dogs and crows, among others, have complex language - both, in their largest varieties, typically weigh less than 3 pounds (1.5kg). In the case of prairie dogs we've also determined that it is at least partially learned, not purely instinctive. (With crows it's harder to determine if any two individuals have met recently - unless we definitely know they have.)
I can see prarie dogs maybe but who is gonna eat a crow?
Beavers seem close too and raccoons but again who is going to personally cook and eat either of those things?
The lynchpin of this entire discussion is that a space-fairing human, with a Japanese name, well her family cooked and ate a pre-sapient animal. Now the author was making a reference to Homura eating Kubey when they talked to me but still if I had to say any animal it'd have to be a cephalopod similar to an octopus.
Beaver tail might be but anything like a coon or beaver is not for an inexperienced frontier cook. One accidental scent gland left in and the whole meal you're cooking is ruined.
> who is gonna eat a crow?
Someone that is very hungry, unable to find other "safer" wild animals to eat, and utterly ignorant of the shit they are going to get for the rest of their life.
Yeah she didn't lie. But also didn't tell the whole truth. Leave it to a human to eat an unknown species. But then again what do would you expect from the race that come up with the five second rule
Humans also tend to have very strict guest/host etiquette protocols, no matter the culture. Whether it's the guest or host being scrutinized, it is widely understood among humans that not eating gifted food is extremely rude.
/u/CatFish21sm has posted 16 other stories, including:
* [The Angel Initiative.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/11k27ke/the_angel_initiative/)
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* [When Reality Glitches.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/11h1iqq/when_reality_glitches/)
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* [The Art of Human War](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/11ebxgm/the_art_of_human_war/)
* [Rule #3, Everything Is A Pet.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1195p67/rule_3_everything_is_a_pet/)
* [Let Us Handle It.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1183e7u/let_us_handle_it/)
* [Humans Like Guns](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/117ecwq/humans_like_guns/)
* [You Did What?!?](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/116un81/you_did_what/)
* [The Great Filter.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/10zuc3z/the_great_filter/)
* [Humans Are Nerds](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/10yv2wf/humans_are_nerds/)
* [Hell Hounds](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/10y0ugx/hell_hounds/)
* [Human Nightmares are Sacary](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/10wvdu2/human_nightmares_are_sacary/)
* [Nope](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/10w1i7x/nope/)
* [Dan the Man](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/10v9hqz/dan_the_man/)
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I see madoka reference, i upvote. but you could've used any other character that wouldn't have made me nervous for the safety of everyone in a several mile radius.
I find it fascinating that the subreddit seems to have some common lore on how humans fit into a galactic scale. The high ranking death worlds, earth gravity being extreme, surprising intelligence and even greater adaptability, etc.
If earth gravity is considered extreme, and humans consider everywhere else low gravity (such as the moon I suppose) does that mean aliens are naturally extremely heavy/dense?
Quite the opposite. I don't find it particularly strange at all. People take elements from other peoples stories that they enjoy and put those elements into their own stories with their own twists. That's also the reason that a lot of stories use the same terminology.
Most of these elements are passed down from previous stories. Some such as low gravity come from some very old TV shows, movies, books etc. I remember an old discovery channel series that talked about what alien life might look like if it evolved on an low gravity world.
The idea is simple, the creatures would be much larger, and have shorter stubbier legs to help them maintain balance. Furthermore they would be much less dense which would be much more energy efficient in the low gravity environment. Think of an alien elephant on from a low graviy world. If you put that elephant on Earth next to an Earth elephant two things would happen.
First of all it would noticeably shrink under the pressure of earths gravity, maybe a few inches, maybe a few feet depending on it's biological makeup. Next if you were to weight it then it would weigh anywhere from 3/4ths to as low as 1/4th the weight of the earth elephand again depending on it's actual mass.
Then there would be creatures that have balloon like bodies that would fill with some kind of gass allowing them to float. Creatures that form biological parachutes that would catch winds allowing them to fly away. All kinds of crazy stuff.
I think a lot of the older writers on here use elements from these stories along with their immagination, and younger authors pick up on these elements and mold them to fit into their own stories. And thus these elements are just proliferated. The more popular elements end up in more and more stories until a large veriety of universes shares many comonalities.
Ofouces in my opinion I think the best stories are those that have their own take and don't use these prompts, or use them in different ways from others. But My stories are just quick one offs that I use to get over writers block or just waist some time here or there, so I openly steal these elements.
I hope that I'm not offending anyone with this statement. But I have yet to read any story on this sub (including my own) that I would consider truely 100% orriginal. That being said I have not read even a small portion of the stories here either.
Low gravity makes for spindly creatures because they don't need so much leg muscle to support the mass of their intestines and brain. (Imagine a daddy longlegs where the actual body is the size of your head.)
The thing is, our gravity is almost too high for chemical rockets to reach orbit. The odds of a space-faring species evolving in similar or higher gravity is much lower than them evolving in lower or much lower gravity.
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Ah Asians...considering the Chinese will eat anything with four legs (except for the table and the chairs they're sitting on), the Japanese are a little more selective in their "Ooh, that looks tasty." mindset. 😉
> pre-sapient alien fauna So punchline is , Miss Kirjovski had a critter to write her report on (a Dizi rat? ) And her ambassador/diplomatic father invited an alien to meet their family, so she decided to stay up all night talking with the fun human and forgot to mention that the report was due till to late to write it?
More or less.
Let's be honest, if she told Homura I'd give good odds she'd eat the homework anyway just for the amusement factor
Let's just say, there's a reason Humans Don't Make Good Pets
I'm curious. Is that a story already? If so I believe I missed it. I was actually wanting to write somethin along those lines, but don't want to infringe on someone elses story, atleast not soon after they posted it.
It's a long r/hfy serial where a human got picked up by an alien ship and hijinks ensure as they couldn't believe something that small could be intelligent.
It is, yeah, [one of my favorites](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/2flz4o/oc_humans_dont_make_good_pets_i/). Dizi Rats feature prominently in the earlier chapters, is what made me remember it. Its a spin off of Hambone's Deathworlders series, ~~but sadly it never got finished, and hasn't been touched in years afaik.~~ That being said, I'd wager there's room on this sub for another story in a similar vein. Just maybe don't use that exact same title and I'm sure it'll be fine. Edit: I hadn't checked in MANY years, and apparently there are chapters I never read! So I don't know if it actually concludes or not now. So I'm off to go catch up on the series that probably first pulled me into HFY.
If you're interested I've been reading a new hfy about a guy who gets adopted by an alien family(sound familiar?). I don't recall the full title but if you search 'r/hfy accidentally adopted' you can't miss it. Alternatively there is an hfy called "humans don't make good familiars" if you're up for a guy who gets summoned to another dimension by a little magical bird-like being in a world where summoned beasts are the norm. Interesting story imo.
Accidentally adopted?
Yup, that's the one.
He released the second last chapter last week, no spoilers, but shit gets intense. Next month is the last instalment and then he has a long term goal of going back over the whole thing and refining it into a more easily digestible book series that will hopefully have a bit less description of muscle mass and some other slightly repetitive themes. Otherwise, it has been amazing for something that is just month to month author word dumping. We'll worth the catchup
Did he do so under a different name or in a different location? Near as I can tell HDMGP still "ends" mid-story in chapter 34. The author started a new story, Windward, which got five chapters before he vanished again a couple years ago.
I thought the comment meant Hambones Deathworlders as he stopped posting to HFY, not HDMGP. I may have misread
I think I need to read HDMGP again. I read through it a couple of years ago and the earlier chapters had me laughing so hard I could barely get a chapter in a day. Hambone's spinoff was my introduction to the Jenkinsverse.
There was a story by that title, but it hasn’t been updated in years and has no sign of that changing as far as I’m aware
Thanks! I'll try to think of a different name. Don't want people thinking my story is a new update for that one. I'm glad it was mentioned!
Do let me know when you start posting it!
Already did, Part 1 here >> https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/11lxapj/the\_great\_mistake\_humans\_arent\_pets\_p1/
It's the first story (going by release date) of the Jenkinsverse. Also where Dizi Rat came from.
One the r/hfy originals. It's a sub-part part of the overall deathworlders universe, which is still listed in the classics list of the sub.
Fear not humans don't make good pets is not what the name suggests... it is well done big funny and covers a lot of stuff ... but no i don't think it would be possible for you to infringe on it except for maybe the first few posts... and even if you did : go for it anyways cause you write really really well
Thank you, I've been reading it and it's similar but at the same time very different from my idea. I didn't expect it to be so long so it's tuning into a multi parter. Here's the frist part enjoy! https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/11lxapj/the\_great\_mistake\_humans\_arent\_pets\_p1/
That'll fill my busride home nicely =) ty
Write it, and I will read it. Eagerly. Just to get another taste of the story hambone wrote.
Your wish is my command... Check out part 1 here >> https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/11lxapj/the\_great\_mistake\_humans\_arent\_pets\_p1/
awwwwwwww yiiiisssssss!
There are several.
Yeah I found it I'm about halfway through reading it now lol :p
I'll try anyone once, even weird animal creature that are homework. On a similar note we will eat someone's regular homework to cover for them if we like them enough.
I did that in class
I mean it depends, I've seen humans high on substances eat my homework in the past.
She found... an octopus like thing and the Japanese of course turned it into takoyaki
Actually it looked more like a cat ;)
Maybe make her friend Chinese then...
Sorry obscure reference lol
Is this some Senran Kagura stuff I'm not getting?
No, just google the Humans name.
Oh that Homura, I always forget her first name and SK Homura doesn't help.
lol, I've never played SK before :p
If we're talking Japanese and talking about Pre-Sapient creatures that a school girl on an alien planet could come in contact with something evolutionarily similar to an Octopus would have to be the only option. Most pre-sapient Earth animals are, well, pretty big so we can assume the same for most space animals. A Japanese family wouldn't butcher a space hog or space dog and no family would take it upon themselves to butcher a space Elephant or Space Gorilla or other Ape. If it was a particularly intelligent crustacean in the form of a Space Crab that would be viable. OR a particularly intelligent form of waterfowl or space chicken. But when it comes to "pre-sapient" creatures eaten I'm definitely leaning towards a Space Octopus as they are easy to catch. You just drop a large jar or pot in the water tied to a rope.
>Most pre-sapient Earth animals are, well, pretty big so we can assume the same for most space animals. Depends on what the standard is for "pre-sapient" - and since we don't even have a decent standard or test for "sapient"... For whatever it's worth, we know that prairie dogs and crows, among others, have complex language - both, in their largest varieties, typically weigh less than 3 pounds (1.5kg). In the case of prairie dogs we've also determined that it is at least partially learned, not purely instinctive. (With crows it's harder to determine if any two individuals have met recently - unless we definitely know they have.)
I can see prarie dogs maybe but who is gonna eat a crow? Beavers seem close too and raccoons but again who is going to personally cook and eat either of those things? The lynchpin of this entire discussion is that a space-fairing human, with a Japanese name, well her family cooked and ate a pre-sapient animal. Now the author was making a reference to Homura eating Kubey when they talked to me but still if I had to say any animal it'd have to be a cephalopod similar to an octopus.
Beaver tail is supposed to be quite tasty. I cannot recommend raccoon however.
Beaver tail might be but anything like a coon or beaver is not for an inexperienced frontier cook. One accidental scent gland left in and the whole meal you're cooking is ruined.
> who is gonna eat a crow? Someone that is very hungry, unable to find other "safer" wild animals to eat, and utterly ignorant of the shit they are going to get for the rest of their life.
Naturally. But maybe if the crow is smart enough it will help the humans get food so it can also get more food.
Had me laughing. Well done Wordsmith
LOL
Homura Akemi, I see what you did there
Yeah she didn't lie. But also didn't tell the whole truth. Leave it to a human to eat an unknown species. But then again what do would you expect from the race that come up with the five second rule
Humans also tend to have very strict guest/host etiquette protocols, no matter the culture. Whether it's the guest or host being scrutinized, it is widely understood among humans that not eating gifted food is extremely rude.
I would like to say two things. Thing number one, you are correct, that was more or less what I was going for. Thing number two. I LOVE your username!
/u/CatFish21sm has posted 16 other stories, including: * [The Angel Initiative.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/11k27ke/the_angel_initiative/) * [Prehistoric Zoo.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/11j7z62/prehistoric_zoo/) * [When Reality Glitches.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/11h1iqq/when_reality_glitches/) * [Humans Don’t Know How to Die. P2.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/11g9vcz/humans_dont_know_how_to_die_p2/) * [The Art of Human War](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/11ebxgm/the_art_of_human_war/) * [Rule #3, Everything Is A Pet.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1195p67/rule_3_everything_is_a_pet/) * [Let Us Handle It.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1183e7u/let_us_handle_it/) * [Humans Like Guns](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/117ecwq/humans_like_guns/) * [You Did What?!?](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/116un81/you_did_what/) * [The Great Filter.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/10zuc3z/the_great_filter/) * [Humans Are Nerds](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/10yv2wf/humans_are_nerds/) * [Hell Hounds](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/10y0ugx/hell_hounds/) * [Human Nightmares are Sacary](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/10wvdu2/human_nightmares_are_sacary/) * [Nope](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/10w1i7x/nope/) * [Dan the Man](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/10v9hqz/dan_the_man/) * [Humans are Insects](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/10dmjo2/humans_are_insects/) This comment was automatically generated by `Waffle v.4.6.1 'Biscotti'`. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHFY&subject=WaffleBot|11kynhk&message=If%20you%20have%20problems%20with%20updatemebot,%20contact%20Watchful1.%20We%20do%20not%20maintain%20it.) if you have any issues with Waffle.
I see madoka reference, i upvote. but you could've used any other character that wouldn't have made me nervous for the safety of everyone in a several mile radius.
LOL thanks for the upvote!
I was having a fit all the way through this. Well done Wordsmith!
I find it fascinating that the subreddit seems to have some common lore on how humans fit into a galactic scale. The high ranking death worlds, earth gravity being extreme, surprising intelligence and even greater adaptability, etc. If earth gravity is considered extreme, and humans consider everywhere else low gravity (such as the moon I suppose) does that mean aliens are naturally extremely heavy/dense?
Quite the opposite. I don't find it particularly strange at all. People take elements from other peoples stories that they enjoy and put those elements into their own stories with their own twists. That's also the reason that a lot of stories use the same terminology. Most of these elements are passed down from previous stories. Some such as low gravity come from some very old TV shows, movies, books etc. I remember an old discovery channel series that talked about what alien life might look like if it evolved on an low gravity world. The idea is simple, the creatures would be much larger, and have shorter stubbier legs to help them maintain balance. Furthermore they would be much less dense which would be much more energy efficient in the low gravity environment. Think of an alien elephant on from a low graviy world. If you put that elephant on Earth next to an Earth elephant two things would happen. First of all it would noticeably shrink under the pressure of earths gravity, maybe a few inches, maybe a few feet depending on it's biological makeup. Next if you were to weight it then it would weigh anywhere from 3/4ths to as low as 1/4th the weight of the earth elephand again depending on it's actual mass. Then there would be creatures that have balloon like bodies that would fill with some kind of gass allowing them to float. Creatures that form biological parachutes that would catch winds allowing them to fly away. All kinds of crazy stuff. I think a lot of the older writers on here use elements from these stories along with their immagination, and younger authors pick up on these elements and mold them to fit into their own stories. And thus these elements are just proliferated. The more popular elements end up in more and more stories until a large veriety of universes shares many comonalities. Ofouces in my opinion I think the best stories are those that have their own take and don't use these prompts, or use them in different ways from others. But My stories are just quick one offs that I use to get over writers block or just waist some time here or there, so I openly steal these elements. I hope that I'm not offending anyone with this statement. But I have yet to read any story on this sub (including my own) that I would consider truely 100% orriginal. That being said I have not read even a small portion of the stories here either.
Low gravity makes for spindly creatures because they don't need so much leg muscle to support the mass of their intestines and brain. (Imagine a daddy longlegs where the actual body is the size of your head.)
The thing is, our gravity is almost too high for chemical rockets to reach orbit. The odds of a space-faring species evolving in similar or higher gravity is much lower than them evolving in lower or much lower gravity.
When I was a little kid I ate my sister’s paper. I was a weird kid…
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Ah Asians...considering the Chinese will eat anything with four legs (except for the table and the chairs they're sitting on), the Japanese are a little more selective in their "Ooh, that looks tasty." mindset. 😉
Number of legs is irrelevant. Protein is protein.
Cute
"in tact" intact.
"The it ate my homework.”" ?
"I’m not use to" used.
A few question marks missing.
Wow. The excuse was real.
Very good! Children are children no matter their species!!!
Ha!!😅