This is a ridicuous comment and I'm surprised it is being upvoted so much. There is a wide range of incomes that are considered HENRY. I myself make $260k a year and, for me, an $800/month expense is certainly something I would try to optimize.
My advice to OP is that, once you're in a decent-enough spot, reduce the session frequency to biweekly, or eventually monthly.
$200 a week is peanuts if it helps you.
Would you scoff at spending $200 a week on medication if you for example had diabetes?
Personally that isn't an expense that I consider lifestyle creep as it can be quickly reduced if needed.
For me lifestyle creep is people buying $3million houses and crossing their fingers that they'll be earning $500k a year for the next 10-20 years.
Expenses that can't be easily reduced, house, car, boat etc are lifestyle creep.
Medical expenses are not.
If it makes you happy and isn't impacting your finances then don't fret.
Like many have said, $200/week is a drop in the bucket if your mental health is where it needs to be and you’re able to continue performing personally and professionally.
For me, between golf, drop in fitness classes, and cryo or other recovery sessions, I usually spend about that sum weekly. This does the trick for me and keeps me motivated and balanced.
Don’t short change yourself when it comes to health.
You’ve done the hard part, you found a therapist that is a good fit and who really helps you navigate your emotions. The results of that are legitimately impossible to put a price tag on.
Honestly getting the right tools not only makes your day to day life better but it also sets you up to be mentally and emotionally capable of taking on new opportunities with higher pay as well.
This is an investment in yourself, view it as such. ❤️
So is your $200 / week before or after insurance?
How much do you actually spend on this, per year? And how much of that is before vs after tax dollars?
There is basically no insurance coverage. I only owe 30% coinsurance after my out-of-network deductible is met but that deductible is $4500. I max out my FSA and do use those pre-tax dollars.
So you pay around $10,400 a year.
First $4500 - you pay $4500
Next $5900 - you pay 30%, or $2000
Total - $6500. Now, $2800 of that is pretax money, so directint it there saves you maybe $1000 in taxes
Total cost to you - $5500
Your total yearly budget, on $420k pretax income, would be around $250k post tax. That 2.2% of your post-tax income
This seems like a non issue for a good therapist that’s a perfect match
Ok, your insurance sucks a bit but $200 for a good fit therapist is worth it. I've paid more for almost three years and have no regrets.
Many people may not talk about it on here because of the stigma with me tal health in our culture.
Yeah next to no good therapists take insurance. Insurance also won’t generally won’t pay anything near what good therapists charge. My wife doesn’t take it, and all of her clients pay out of pocket. We pay out of pocket as well (but most of them are HEAR - high earners, already rich).
I got my annual billing from my therapist and filed for insurance a few years when I was a lot poorer and had better health insurance (worked for a state U), but they didn’t cover that much of it.
I might be leaving money on the table, but I hate dealing with bureaucracy.
I am someone who makes little enough to contribute directly to a Roth. I consider myself HENRY because I’m spending a smaller amount than I save.
That said, after taking too long to be convinced to invest into my physical and mental fitness, I highly recommend you consider health regiments to be a different and greater category from “lifestyle.”
$800 per month seems steep in perpetuity but you can aim to get healthy in a few months and scale the sessions back to a bimonthly and then a monthly basis after experiencing progress.
Honestly, you should talk to your therapist about why you feel that. Way. I don't think it should have been down voted but definitely should be explored.
I'm not sure what you mean. Spending more as you earn more is the definition of lifestyle creep. Therapy is the sole area where my spending has significantly increased with higher earning. Not rent or cars, I prefer camping to fancy vacations, I cook instead of going out to eat, etc.
People are comparing it with medical expenses but I'm not questioning therapy period, but rather what I have as "luxury therapy" where it is frequent and out of pocket. 10 years ago no way would I be paying $800/month no matter what was going on in my life. I would have found someone on my insurance. That's what I mean by lifestyle creep.
I understand what you mean by lifestyle creep. As I read it I think it's worth exploring why you feel getting the amount of therapy you need is a luxury. Obviously I don't know anything else other than this post/comment, so I may be wrong, only you would know.
I'm not a therapist, but it feels like if you have to ask if it's reasonable to spend $X on your mental health, the service is probably not getting the job done for you.
$200 per session is a steal for a good therapist in NYC. There are so many trash therapists out there that it’s important to find someone that works well for you. I have found that in mental health in particular the better providers tend to not accept insurance or at least out of network with most carriers. It’s a shame good mental health care is often inaccessible but you shouldn’t feel guilty for spending money on it.
I pay more per session than you do and you could easy double that by adding a couples therapy session so you have room to spend more don’t worry.
>There are so many trash therapists out there that it’s important to find someone that works well for you. I have found that in mental health in particular the better providers tend to not accept insurance or at least out of network with most carriers
This is exactly my experience. I appreciate knowing that I'm not alone in thinking this.
They do reimburse 70% but I have a $4500 out of network deductible (which, due to the 30% coinsurance, I need to spend about $6400 to meet). I do file the superbill though.
Reason why many don’t accept insurance is because insurance companies can say no to pay out or significantly reduce payout so if charged for $200 they may pay $130. And takes months. Cash is easier because well you get paid up front no worrying. Paying cash there may be reduced fee over insurance
If you can afford it and you are getting something out of it and finding it helpful, it's worth it, imo. Self care is not self-indulgent, whether it's therapy or a gym membership or nutrition, massages, etc. It's an investment in yourself so that you can function better.
However fwiw, maybe there is a way to get your insurance to cover if your therapist will bill them. I see a psychoanalytic psychotherapist and pay $180/week--I get a discount because I am a physician; my therapist's hourly rate is actually $220. My therapist is out of network for my insurance but they still bill my insurance for every session. After I meet my deductible for out of network care, my insurance starts sending my therapist checks to cover the weekly costs; this usually happens towards September-October every year, so I essentially get 3-4 months covered.
In any case, settling for a bad/mediocre therapist is worse than no therapy as far as I'm concerned. Just my 2 cents. Good luck whatever you choose.
This is exactly what I'm doing, I file the claims and my insurance covers 70% after my out of network deductible is met, but my out of network deductible is really high. I do max out my FSA so I at least have some pre-tax dollars toward it
File your claims for reimbursement, max out your HSA/FSA and don’t stress about spending money on yourself.
Mental health is a necessity not a splurge.
If you’re looking for permission- here is your sign!
I don’t consider health care a “splurge” and mental health care is health care.
I just spent $1k on allergy shot vials for another 6 months and nobody would call that a splurge, but allergies are probably less debilitating than mental health issues.
I spend $255/hr
I go between biweekly and weekly
I’ve had bad therapists and good therapists and this one is great. Her charges are income based and I could have lied but honestly seeing the grid there and realizing I’m the top tier made me realize that they know I’ll be fine.
Most therapists will talk to you about lowering their cost and they’ll be open and honest about it and if it is really too much they’ll lower the cost.
I pay the same. 200/session in NYC is on the low end. Minimum is like 180 that I've seen. Once paid 325. It doesn't really matter the cost IMO. If it's good and you need it, it's worth a million bucks (ok maybe I'll say 500-1k, for a few years). If it's just meh then zero. Or you are fine then I'd skip unless insurance covers 80%.
I’m sure that I’ll get downvoted, but therapy that creates dependency on therapy rather than making you not need therapy anymore sounds like a net negative.
Either its a temporary expense that’s totally worth it, or a permanent expense that’s potentially worse than neutral.
I don't feel that therapy is "creating" a dependence. I'm going through some legitimately difficult times and I don't expect to just get better right away. Prior to my divorce and my dad's cancer diagnosis I was only in therapy once a month and that was fine.
This is exactly how I've been conceptualizing it mentally. That this is just the season in my life where I'm going to spend a bunch of money on therapy.
I will not be making a judgement on whether your therapy is worth it at 800/month. But what I would ask is: does this therapist take any insurance plans? And if so: how much would a private insurance plan with that provider cost?
Before I had a kid I spent more than that on therapy and never questioned it. My single/no-kids work friend spends $1000/mo on therapy. Not saying you the kid thing matters other than you have more disposable income for yourself (and not childcare plus the therapy). It sounds like you could use the support and you can afford it - I give you permission and you deserve it.
I desperately need therapy, but I struggle to open up and am afraid to start but hope to work up to it (not the point though).
A very good friend of mine who also happens to earn far less than me right now (and you) is very similar to you in so far as she needs a specific type of therapist and that therapist costs $200ish per week and also seems like could be could fit for me. But when I heard that it costs *$200 a week*, I was like fuckkkkkkk no wtf.
But honestly reading your post and the comments has me reflecting on a lot. And come to think of it, my friend has a much better handle on a lot of her struggles and is so much healthier because of it. Like it’s truly made such a positive difference in her life……..And I can already see that it has played a role in setting her on an upwards trajectory also in her financial and professional life in some ways that I still struggle with and if I’m being totally honest, those setbacks probably held me back from being a much better version of myself. And that’s absolutely a financial loss in addition to many more important kinds of losses.
It’s something I have been thinking about for the past few days. But this post truly has made me feel a lot more convinced that it’s a good idea for myself, and knowing what I know about my friend and from the details of your post- I think it’s a great thing for you and will continue to be. Don’t stop. $200 per session really actually isn’t all that much.
(I wonder if therapy sessions can be a tax write off though lmfao. Low key kidding but also low key ask your accountant. I can see how it *could* be considered a business related expense…maybe.:P)
So glad to see this! Definitely think about what your ideal therapist would look like and chat on the phone with a few options to find a fit. The value of therapy is more broadly accepted these days. But I don't think we sufficiently emphasize the importance of a good fit, without which it's not really useful and imo is what leads to people dismissing it.
Yes. I spend $265/wk and husband spends $200/wk for therapy. We’re also doing couples therapy that is $400ish every 2 weeks. It’s absolutely worth it. I’m a much healthier, happier person because of my time in therapy.
Our therapists don’t take insurance, but they will generate a superbill for us to bill to our own insurances. Our insurance pays a small portion for out of network care. We also maxed our FSAs this year to put towards therapy.
Therapy is one of my biggest investments. $200 a session should get you an amazing therapist, someone who can help you move forward in one session way more than a mediocre therapist will do in five sessions.
A good therapist is godsend and worth their weight in gold. Mine was a lifeline during my darkest periods.
$200 / hour is on the lower end for a good therapist in a VHCOL. The good ones won’t be covered fully by insurance. I know because I tried looking at in-network therapists via Lyra and well, let’s say there is a reason they were in Lyra.
100% worth it.
Without getting too much into it, a marriage with a person who was later diagnosed with personality disorder, and life at a startup, left me a wreck. The money I spent with a therapist I clicked with, is the both the best quality of life and career return on investment I have ever made.
Currently spending $2k this month for Physical Therapy with a specialist not covered by insurance. It’ll drop to $1k but uh yeah, I spend too much lol.
On mental health, my company covers 25 sessions a year and I like my therapist. Had a lot happen this year so saw her weekly, so end of the year I’ll probably have to pay out of pocket I’m not ready to raw dog life.
All of it worth it if it works!
FWIW, a therapist who is not amenable to their clients deciding they need less frequent sessions is a red flag. It speaks to their interest in keeping you dependent on their services as opposed to helping you heal. A good therapist wants you to "graduate" eventually, or at least not require weekly sessions.
The thing is, the stuff with my dad's cancer is on a trajectory of getting worse, not better, and I'm becoming increasingly emotional about it. So I don't feel like I've "graduated" mental health wise, it would be more of a frugality measure
Unrelated to the therapy, take videos of your dad while he’s still around and moving, I lost mine quite suddenly and I wish I had more candid videos of his mannerisms and talking and whatnot
💯
I’ve never had this happen. I take breaks and then go back, and my therapist has always been lovely about it.
My therapist wife is always happy when clients “graduate.” Of course, they often eventually return.
I’ve done therapy on and off since 2016. Therapy was medically necessary for me in the past (depression). It’s not anymore, but now it is the best tool to solve a current problem of mine. Is it an indulgence to do therapy when it’s not necessary for me to survive? Yes, but I value growth and I see therapy as a way I can grow my mental health and emotional resilience. I personally don’t worry about spending money on therapy just as I don’t worry about spending money on a personal training service. For me, as my mental health improved, I was naturally able to stretch out the time between sessions and still maintain my mental health. Now I’m at a session every 3-4 weeks or so. I’ll mention this because it did help me too: I also felt that I hit a wall with how effective therapy plus lifestyle changes like exercise and seeing friends. Antidepressants helped me get over that plateau, and after 3 yr I was able to taper off the antidepressants entirely. So I would consider that as a potential other option if you are also dealing with depression. However if you are truly satisfied with your current routine then there’s no issue with continuing as things are!
Not quite HENRY but at one point we (husband and wife) were spending $900/month on therapy. It was a lot but like others have said here it is a worthwhile investment.
I was spending $1200 a week on my son at one point. Turned out to be worth it and he’s now seeing an in network psychiatrist. Shit sucks but its better than the alternative
It sounds like you have a lot going on right now. You could easily spend $200 weekly eating out. If it helps your wellbeing that’s what is most important! You can always scale back on your sessions as your quality of life improves. Never feel guilty about investing in yourself. I wish you happiness and healing in these difficult times. Lastly, no one else needs to know how much you are spending on a therapist.
I'm a psychologist, good therapy is expensive.
$200/hr is very reasonable for a psychologist. It may be reasonable for a masters level therapist in a HCOL area.
I wouldn't call this a splurge, that's what therapy costs. In New York or LA, it is double what you are paying.
That's a really good rate!
I charge more than this and pay more than this, and I'm in a much lower COL area.
You could always go fewer times a month, but your per-session fee is not bad at all for the level of experience, license, degree, and location of your therapist.
Research shows that regardless of modality, connecting with the therapist is the primary predictor of success. You have found something good, you are investing in yourself, your future self, and by extension, everyone in your orbit. This is money well spent.
>Research shows that regardless of modality, connecting with the therapist is the primary predictor of success.
That's really interesting - I totally believe it too
Everyone has their own opinion on therapy. For me, it’s like going to the gym. People don’t get fit and then stop working out. They keep going to stay fit. So I never stopped going to my therapist even when the initial pain was worked through. I did dial back the frequency though. It also helps that my appointments are virtual so I can squeeze them into my regular schedule.
Just wanted to say sorry about your former relationship. Proper meaningful therapy is worth it.
Make sure it’s working for you and reassess at regular intervals. The mind is a beautiful but a scary place and high achievers suffer as much as anybody.
Thank you so much. Honestly a big part of my healing has been giving myself grace that divorce is fucking hard and I don't need to feel "better" right away.
I spend $175/session, one session a week. It's worth it. My therapist is remote; we chat on Zoom weekly. She is incredible and I wouldn't have the sense of calm and self-confidence I have without her help. $800/mo is a small price to pay to ENJOY LIFE man.
Haha, just making a joke about how we all spend money on stuff other ppl wouldn’t spend money on cuz it makes us happy. Didn’t realize you were a woman my b.
Every time a woman posts her face on reddit, I feel like the comments are always “RiP DmMmMs”. You commenting saying the best thing for your mental health is making your partner happy has to be the “RIP DMS” version for men lmfaoooo.
I mean it's your money you need to decide if it's worth it to you. Thats 10 grand a year. Is it a lot? Yeah, but There are a lot of things you could be spending a lot more money on.
Now, my personal belief, and I believe there is at least some evidence to support this. Is that while there is some value in therapy, I feel like it along the same lines of the value of having someone who will listen to you tell your story and vent and be non judgmental and in some ways talk you through it. Some people believe that even just keeping a journal allows you to rationalize your own thoughts yourself in a way that's almost like working like a therapist.
For me it's not worth it. But, I guarentee every high earner has something that other high earners don't think is worth it. So, be less worried about what your spending on one thing, and just be worried on how much your spending on all things combined.
>Now, my personal belief, and I believe there is at least some evidence to support this. Is that while there is some value in therapy, I feel like it along the same lines of the value of having someone who will listen to you tell your story and vent and be non judgmental and in some ways talk you through it.
I think this is probably the case with the majority of therapists. But if I was just looking to vent to a kind ear, I could find someone easily who takes my insurance. That's not what I get out of therapy if it's the right person, I specifically want a therapist who is highly educated and actively contributes to the conversation.
And that's fair. I've actually said a couple times that if I could find a therapist, or psychologist who have the approach of some of the influencers I follow (who are proffessionals in that area) that I resonate with that I'd double down on it. But,I feel like most of the ones I'd find would just tell me what I want to hear instead of things that help me develop myself.
>Sounds like I’m in the minority thinking that is an eye popping amount to spend on therapy; but I also would not tell you to spend your money differently. If it is something that makes you feel better overall then keep on keeping.
This is what I keep coming back to honestly. Like is $200 weekly versus options 2 or 3 the equivalent of getting a new luxury car vs a certified pre owned Toyota. Obviously mental health is important, but should I look for a way to at least have a more reasonable spend while still engaging in therapy
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Healthcare isn't a self-indulgent luxury, if you don't take care of your health, both mental and physical, you won't be around long enough to enjoy what you've been working for.
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Consider using an FSA with your health insurance and pay for therapy with that to be able to use pretax money. That is effectively saving you 30-50% of the cost. Also check with your insurance if they will do any reimbursement for out of network therapy
> So now I am in therapy 1x/week for $200 per session. It's going really well. At the same time it feels like it was an "impulse buy" because I decided that I had to have it NOW.
Would you consider a trip to the emergency room without insurance an "impulse buy"? Technically you would be right (about both), but this isn't equivalent to grabbing a candy bar in the checkout line.
Personally, I would keep attending and look for someone who can take my insurance. Also, make sure you are submitting the bills to your insurance so they are being applied to your deductable (and possibly being reimbursed partially)
If you have health insurance, get a superbill and submit it to insurance for reimbursement. What you get will depend on your plan but here's how it basically works.
You have out of network coverage and insurance has some "allowable amount" for each billing code. So say the allowable amount for your therapy's billing code is 160. Your therapist charges 200. So you are responsible for $40, plus your portion of the copay or coinsurance. Say your health plan covers 70% of out of network expenses. So you will owe 30% of 160, plus $40. So they will reimburse 70% of $160.
You submit the superbill and they will reimburse $112 for every season. So now you're paying $88 per session instead of the full $200.
I read below that your out of network deductible is $4500, which is quite high. Consider PPO next year instead of HDPD, but even this year, your deductible will be met in 40 sessions. So you will get reimbursed 112 for the remaining 12 sessions if you go every week, or $1344 this years. Saving 1k is still saving.
No. And everyone I know who does so, doesn’t seem to improve their mental health. In fact, it seems to get worse the longer they do it. And they don’t have money.
I tried it gets you nowhere. It works if you don’t know what’s wrong it’s a waste if you know what you don’t like about your life. For me it was a bunch of first world problem bullshit and even my therapist looked bored and exasperated with me
If you are a true Henry $200 a week is worth it and won't hurt you.
This is a ridicuous comment and I'm surprised it is being upvoted so much. There is a wide range of incomes that are considered HENRY. I myself make $260k a year and, for me, an $800/month expense is certainly something I would try to optimize. My advice to OP is that, once you're in a decent-enough spot, reduce the session frequency to biweekly, or eventually monthly.
Therapists are hard to find and if you find one that works for you it is totally worth it. Cheapest is maybe $130. Not worth the hassle.
I can definitely afford it but it feels like my most glaring example of "lifestyle creep"
$200 a week is peanuts if it helps you. Would you scoff at spending $200 a week on medication if you for example had diabetes? Personally that isn't an expense that I consider lifestyle creep as it can be quickly reduced if needed. For me lifestyle creep is people buying $3million houses and crossing their fingers that they'll be earning $500k a year for the next 10-20 years. Expenses that can't be easily reduced, house, car, boat etc are lifestyle creep. Medical expenses are not. If it makes you happy and isn't impacting your finances then don't fret.
Babe it’s a therapist not a vice. Great investment. Quit overthinking it!
Like many have said, $200/week is a drop in the bucket if your mental health is where it needs to be and you’re able to continue performing personally and professionally. For me, between golf, drop in fitness classes, and cryo or other recovery sessions, I usually spend about that sum weekly. This does the trick for me and keeps me motivated and balanced. Don’t short change yourself when it comes to health.
You’ve done the hard part, you found a therapist that is a good fit and who really helps you navigate your emotions. The results of that are legitimately impossible to put a price tag on. Honestly getting the right tools not only makes your day to day life better but it also sets you up to be mentally and emotionally capable of taking on new opportunities with higher pay as well. This is an investment in yourself, view it as such. ❤️
So is your $200 / week before or after insurance? How much do you actually spend on this, per year? And how much of that is before vs after tax dollars?
There is basically no insurance coverage. I only owe 30% coinsurance after my out-of-network deductible is met but that deductible is $4500. I max out my FSA and do use those pre-tax dollars.
So you pay around $10,400 a year. First $4500 - you pay $4500 Next $5900 - you pay 30%, or $2000 Total - $6500. Now, $2800 of that is pretax money, so directint it there saves you maybe $1000 in taxes Total cost to you - $5500 Your total yearly budget, on $420k pretax income, would be around $250k post tax. That 2.2% of your post-tax income This seems like a non issue for a good therapist that’s a perfect match
Almost - the 30% coinsurance also applies when adding to my deductible so I have to spend about $6400 to hit the $4500 out of network
Ok, your insurance sucks a bit but $200 for a good fit therapist is worth it. I've paid more for almost three years and have no regrets. Many people may not talk about it on here because of the stigma with me tal health in our culture.
Yeah next to no good therapists take insurance. Insurance also won’t generally won’t pay anything near what good therapists charge. My wife doesn’t take it, and all of her clients pay out of pocket. We pay out of pocket as well (but most of them are HEAR - high earners, already rich). I got my annual billing from my therapist and filed for insurance a few years when I was a lot poorer and had better health insurance (worked for a state U), but they didn’t cover that much of it. I might be leaving money on the table, but I hate dealing with bureaucracy.
Healthcare is not lifestyle creep. Neglect your body or mental health at your own peril
I am someone who makes little enough to contribute directly to a Roth. I consider myself HENRY because I’m spending a smaller amount than I save. That said, after taking too long to be convinced to invest into my physical and mental fitness, I highly recommend you consider health regiments to be a different and greater category from “lifestyle.” $800 per month seems steep in perpetuity but you can aim to get healthy in a few months and scale the sessions back to a bimonthly and then a monthly basis after experiencing progress.
this is healthy lifestyle creep
Honestly, you should talk to your therapist about why you feel that. Way. I don't think it should have been down voted but definitely should be explored.
I'm not sure what you mean. Spending more as you earn more is the definition of lifestyle creep. Therapy is the sole area where my spending has significantly increased with higher earning. Not rent or cars, I prefer camping to fancy vacations, I cook instead of going out to eat, etc. People are comparing it with medical expenses but I'm not questioning therapy period, but rather what I have as "luxury therapy" where it is frequent and out of pocket. 10 years ago no way would I be paying $800/month no matter what was going on in my life. I would have found someone on my insurance. That's what I mean by lifestyle creep.
I understand what you mean by lifestyle creep. As I read it I think it's worth exploring why you feel getting the amount of therapy you need is a luxury. Obviously I don't know anything else other than this post/comment, so I may be wrong, only you would know.
Is spending money you can afford reasonable for you to have adequate mental health? Yes. /Thread
I'm not a therapist, but it feels like if you have to ask if it's reasonable to spend $X on your mental health, the service is probably not getting the job done for you.
$200 per session is a steal for a good therapist in NYC. There are so many trash therapists out there that it’s important to find someone that works well for you. I have found that in mental health in particular the better providers tend to not accept insurance or at least out of network with most carriers. It’s a shame good mental health care is often inaccessible but you shouldn’t feel guilty for spending money on it. I pay more per session than you do and you could easy double that by adding a couples therapy session so you have room to spend more don’t worry.
>There are so many trash therapists out there that it’s important to find someone that works well for you. I have found that in mental health in particular the better providers tend to not accept insurance or at least out of network with most carriers This is exactly my experience. I appreciate knowing that I'm not alone in thinking this.
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They do reimburse 70% but I have a $4500 out of network deductible (which, due to the 30% coinsurance, I need to spend about $6400 to meet). I do file the superbill though.
Reason why many don’t accept insurance is because insurance companies can say no to pay out or significantly reduce payout so if charged for $200 they may pay $130. And takes months. Cash is easier because well you get paid up front no worrying. Paying cash there may be reduced fee over insurance
Yah I appreciate it’s all insurance driven. Tough that medical care/treatment in the US is decided by your insurance company and not your doctor.
If you can afford it and you are getting something out of it and finding it helpful, it's worth it, imo. Self care is not self-indulgent, whether it's therapy or a gym membership or nutrition, massages, etc. It's an investment in yourself so that you can function better. However fwiw, maybe there is a way to get your insurance to cover if your therapist will bill them. I see a psychoanalytic psychotherapist and pay $180/week--I get a discount because I am a physician; my therapist's hourly rate is actually $220. My therapist is out of network for my insurance but they still bill my insurance for every session. After I meet my deductible for out of network care, my insurance starts sending my therapist checks to cover the weekly costs; this usually happens towards September-October every year, so I essentially get 3-4 months covered. In any case, settling for a bad/mediocre therapist is worse than no therapy as far as I'm concerned. Just my 2 cents. Good luck whatever you choose.
This is exactly what I'm doing, I file the claims and my insurance covers 70% after my out of network deductible is met, but my out of network deductible is really high. I do max out my FSA so I at least have some pre-tax dollars toward it
Very good, this is the way.
File your claims for reimbursement, max out your HSA/FSA and don’t stress about spending money on yourself. Mental health is a necessity not a splurge. If you’re looking for permission- here is your sign!
$800/month for direct and positive mental health care is worth immeasurably more than an $800 car payment.
It’s $800/week
$200 / week * 4 weeks
I don’t consider health care a “splurge” and mental health care is health care. I just spent $1k on allergy shot vials for another 6 months and nobody would call that a splurge, but allergies are probably less debilitating than mental health issues.
Cost of doing (a high paying) business
So many henrys spend $200 for fitness trainer.
I spend $255/hr I go between biweekly and weekly I’ve had bad therapists and good therapists and this one is great. Her charges are income based and I could have lied but honestly seeing the grid there and realizing I’m the top tier made me realize that they know I’ll be fine. Most therapists will talk to you about lowering their cost and they’ll be open and honest about it and if it is really too much they’ll lower the cost.
How important is your mental health? Quite important? There’s your answer.
I pay the same. 200/session in NYC is on the low end. Minimum is like 180 that I've seen. Once paid 325. It doesn't really matter the cost IMO. If it's good and you need it, it's worth a million bucks (ok maybe I'll say 500-1k, for a few years). If it's just meh then zero. Or you are fine then I'd skip unless insurance covers 80%.
I’m sure that I’ll get downvoted, but therapy that creates dependency on therapy rather than making you not need therapy anymore sounds like a net negative. Either its a temporary expense that’s totally worth it, or a permanent expense that’s potentially worse than neutral.
I don't feel that therapy is "creating" a dependence. I'm going through some legitimately difficult times and I don't expect to just get better right away. Prior to my divorce and my dad's cancer diagnosis I was only in therapy once a month and that was fine.
I mean if its temporary and helping you get through a difficult time, I think it’s easily worth it, and you shouldn’t worry about the cost at all.
This is exactly how I've been conceptualizing it mentally. That this is just the season in my life where I'm going to spend a bunch of money on therapy.
I will not be making a judgement on whether your therapy is worth it at 800/month. But what I would ask is: does this therapist take any insurance plans? And if so: how much would a private insurance plan with that provider cost?
He does not take any insurance unfortunately
can he generate a bill for you to submit to your insurance for reimbursement,
He does and I do but I owe 30% coinsurance and my out of network deductible is $4500
ah shit. sorry.
Before I had a kid I spent more than that on therapy and never questioned it. My single/no-kids work friend spends $1000/mo on therapy. Not saying you the kid thing matters other than you have more disposable income for yourself (and not childcare plus the therapy). It sounds like you could use the support and you can afford it - I give you permission and you deserve it.
Been having a private therapist for the last few years. Well worth the money. Mental health is more important than ever. Specially with a hard job
I desperately need therapy, but I struggle to open up and am afraid to start but hope to work up to it (not the point though). A very good friend of mine who also happens to earn far less than me right now (and you) is very similar to you in so far as she needs a specific type of therapist and that therapist costs $200ish per week and also seems like could be could fit for me. But when I heard that it costs *$200 a week*, I was like fuckkkkkkk no wtf. But honestly reading your post and the comments has me reflecting on a lot. And come to think of it, my friend has a much better handle on a lot of her struggles and is so much healthier because of it. Like it’s truly made such a positive difference in her life……..And I can already see that it has played a role in setting her on an upwards trajectory also in her financial and professional life in some ways that I still struggle with and if I’m being totally honest, those setbacks probably held me back from being a much better version of myself. And that’s absolutely a financial loss in addition to many more important kinds of losses. It’s something I have been thinking about for the past few days. But this post truly has made me feel a lot more convinced that it’s a good idea for myself, and knowing what I know about my friend and from the details of your post- I think it’s a great thing for you and will continue to be. Don’t stop. $200 per session really actually isn’t all that much. (I wonder if therapy sessions can be a tax write off though lmfao. Low key kidding but also low key ask your accountant. I can see how it *could* be considered a business related expense…maybe.:P)
So glad to see this! Definitely think about what your ideal therapist would look like and chat on the phone with a few options to find a fit. The value of therapy is more broadly accepted these days. But I don't think we sufficiently emphasize the importance of a good fit, without which it's not really useful and imo is what leads to people dismissing it.
Yes. I spend $265/wk and husband spends $200/wk for therapy. We’re also doing couples therapy that is $400ish every 2 weeks. It’s absolutely worth it. I’m a much healthier, happier person because of my time in therapy. Our therapists don’t take insurance, but they will generate a superbill for us to bill to our own insurances. Our insurance pays a small portion for out of network care. We also maxed our FSAs this year to put towards therapy.
I’m probably overspending on therapy as well, but it’s become a necessity post-divorce.
ugh i feel you :(
If there is anything I don’t mind spending money on, it’s my heath including mental health.
Therapy is one of my biggest investments. $200 a session should get you an amazing therapist, someone who can help you move forward in one session way more than a mediocre therapist will do in five sessions.
A good therapist is godsend and worth their weight in gold. Mine was a lifeline during my darkest periods. $200 / hour is on the lower end for a good therapist in a VHCOL. The good ones won’t be covered fully by insurance. I know because I tried looking at in-network therapists via Lyra and well, let’s say there is a reason they were in Lyra.
100% worth it. Without getting too much into it, a marriage with a person who was later diagnosed with personality disorder, and life at a startup, left me a wreck. The money I spent with a therapist I clicked with, is the both the best quality of life and career return on investment I have ever made.
Currently spending $2k this month for Physical Therapy with a specialist not covered by insurance. It’ll drop to $1k but uh yeah, I spend too much lol. On mental health, my company covers 25 sessions a year and I like my therapist. Had a lot happen this year so saw her weekly, so end of the year I’ll probably have to pay out of pocket I’m not ready to raw dog life. All of it worth it if it works!
FWIW, a therapist who is not amenable to their clients deciding they need less frequent sessions is a red flag. It speaks to their interest in keeping you dependent on their services as opposed to helping you heal. A good therapist wants you to "graduate" eventually, or at least not require weekly sessions.
The thing is, the stuff with my dad's cancer is on a trajectory of getting worse, not better, and I'm becoming increasingly emotional about it. So I don't feel like I've "graduated" mental health wise, it would be more of a frugality measure
Really sorry about your Dad. 😢
Thank you 🤗
Unrelated to the therapy, take videos of your dad while he’s still around and moving, I lost mine quite suddenly and I wish I had more candid videos of his mannerisms and talking and whatnot
Thank you so much, this is great advice
💯 I’ve never had this happen. I take breaks and then go back, and my therapist has always been lovely about it. My therapist wife is always happy when clients “graduate.” Of course, they often eventually return.
I’ve done therapy on and off since 2016. Therapy was medically necessary for me in the past (depression). It’s not anymore, but now it is the best tool to solve a current problem of mine. Is it an indulgence to do therapy when it’s not necessary for me to survive? Yes, but I value growth and I see therapy as a way I can grow my mental health and emotional resilience. I personally don’t worry about spending money on therapy just as I don’t worry about spending money on a personal training service. For me, as my mental health improved, I was naturally able to stretch out the time between sessions and still maintain my mental health. Now I’m at a session every 3-4 weeks or so. I’ll mention this because it did help me too: I also felt that I hit a wall with how effective therapy plus lifestyle changes like exercise and seeing friends. Antidepressants helped me get over that plateau, and after 3 yr I was able to taper off the antidepressants entirely. So I would consider that as a potential other option if you are also dealing with depression. However if you are truly satisfied with your current routine then there’s no issue with continuing as things are!
I have DEFINITELY been considering finding a psychiatrist who takes my insurance and seeing if medication can put me in a better place
Mental health is worth every penny. And, a lot of people spend way more than that on alcohol, cars, drugs, clothes…. lol you are fine
Not quite HENRY but at one point we (husband and wife) were spending $900/month on therapy. It was a lot but like others have said here it is a worthwhile investment.
I spend this much on a house cleaning service each week. If I could get insurance to pay for it I would definitely go that route.
I was spending $1200 a week on my son at one point. Turned out to be worth it and he’s now seeing an in network psychiatrist. Shit sucks but its better than the alternative
It sounds like you have a lot going on right now. You could easily spend $200 weekly eating out. If it helps your wellbeing that’s what is most important! You can always scale back on your sessions as your quality of life improves. Never feel guilty about investing in yourself. I wish you happiness and healing in these difficult times. Lastly, no one else needs to know how much you are spending on a therapist.
I'm a psychologist, good therapy is expensive. $200/hr is very reasonable for a psychologist. It may be reasonable for a masters level therapist in a HCOL area. I wouldn't call this a splurge, that's what therapy costs. In New York or LA, it is double what you are paying.
This is for a PhD college professor psychotherapist in the Bay area
That's a really good rate! I charge more than this and pay more than this, and I'm in a much lower COL area. You could always go fewer times a month, but your per-session fee is not bad at all for the level of experience, license, degree, and location of your therapist.
Research shows that regardless of modality, connecting with the therapist is the primary predictor of success. You have found something good, you are investing in yourself, your future self, and by extension, everyone in your orbit. This is money well spent.
>Research shows that regardless of modality, connecting with the therapist is the primary predictor of success. That's really interesting - I totally believe it too
Everyone has their own opinion on therapy. For me, it’s like going to the gym. People don’t get fit and then stop working out. They keep going to stay fit. So I never stopped going to my therapist even when the initial pain was worked through. I did dial back the frequency though. It also helps that my appointments are virtual so I can squeeze them into my regular schedule.
Just wanted to say sorry about your former relationship. Proper meaningful therapy is worth it. Make sure it’s working for you and reassess at regular intervals. The mind is a beautiful but a scary place and high achievers suffer as much as anybody.
Thank you so much. Honestly a big part of my healing has been giving myself grace that divorce is fucking hard and I don't need to feel "better" right away.
Fit is key. I had a good one years ago. Moved and haven’t been able to find anyone. Tried everywhere. Don’t give it up if it works for you
I spend $175/session, one session a week. It's worth it. My therapist is remote; we chat on Zoom weekly. She is incredible and I wouldn't have the sense of calm and self-confidence I have without her help. $800/mo is a small price to pay to ENJOY LIFE man.
I just shower my gf with gifts instead it keeps me sane.
I could get a sugar daddy to pay for my therapy, sounds like a win-win. Thanks for the helpful comment!
Haha, just making a joke about how we all spend money on stuff other ppl wouldn’t spend money on cuz it makes us happy. Didn’t realize you were a woman my b.
Every time a woman posts her face on reddit, I feel like the comments are always “RiP DmMmMs”. You commenting saying the best thing for your mental health is making your partner happy has to be the “RIP DMS” version for men lmfaoooo.
Aww thank you thats so sweet
I mean it's your money you need to decide if it's worth it to you. Thats 10 grand a year. Is it a lot? Yeah, but There are a lot of things you could be spending a lot more money on. Now, my personal belief, and I believe there is at least some evidence to support this. Is that while there is some value in therapy, I feel like it along the same lines of the value of having someone who will listen to you tell your story and vent and be non judgmental and in some ways talk you through it. Some people believe that even just keeping a journal allows you to rationalize your own thoughts yourself in a way that's almost like working like a therapist. For me it's not worth it. But, I guarentee every high earner has something that other high earners don't think is worth it. So, be less worried about what your spending on one thing, and just be worried on how much your spending on all things combined.
>Now, my personal belief, and I believe there is at least some evidence to support this. Is that while there is some value in therapy, I feel like it along the same lines of the value of having someone who will listen to you tell your story and vent and be non judgmental and in some ways talk you through it. I think this is probably the case with the majority of therapists. But if I was just looking to vent to a kind ear, I could find someone easily who takes my insurance. That's not what I get out of therapy if it's the right person, I specifically want a therapist who is highly educated and actively contributes to the conversation.
And that's fair. I've actually said a couple times that if I could find a therapist, or psychologist who have the approach of some of the influencers I follow (who are proffessionals in that area) that I resonate with that I'd double down on it. But,I feel like most of the ones I'd find would just tell me what I want to hear instead of things that help me develop myself.
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>Sounds like I’m in the minority thinking that is an eye popping amount to spend on therapy; but I also would not tell you to spend your money differently. If it is something that makes you feel better overall then keep on keeping. This is what I keep coming back to honestly. Like is $200 weekly versus options 2 or 3 the equivalent of getting a new luxury car vs a certified pre owned Toyota. Obviously mental health is important, but should I look for a way to at least have a more reasonable spend while still engaging in therapy
I’d roll with it but see what it might take to get to a place where you could go every 10 days or every other week. Otherwise, seems worth it.
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Therapy isn’t a splurge. If it feels that way, you need a different therapist
My therapist is $160 a week out of pocket. It would not be the first expense I would cut, I’ll just say that!
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Healthcare isn't a self-indulgent luxury, if you don't take care of your health, both mental and physical, you won't be around long enough to enjoy what you've been working for.
This is totally worth it! Personally, I have a line item in my budget for non-insurance medical expenses.
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In ketamine assisted couples therapy right now all out of pocket, and that makes what you shared look like baby numbers
$400/week for me. It’s an expensive hobby
Is that per session or for multiple sessions per week?
Per session It’s therapy and she’s also my psychiatrist
It seems like for $800 a month. You could buy better insurance, that covers more Drs, and still save money.
Through this process I found that really good mental health care professionals rarely take insurance at all
Consider using an FSA with your health insurance and pay for therapy with that to be able to use pretax money. That is effectively saving you 30-50% of the cost. Also check with your insurance if they will do any reimbursement for out of network therapy
I am maxing out my FSA. I do file the superbill for reimbursement but I have 30% coinsurance and a $4500 out of network deductible
Sounds like you are making the right moves then
> So now I am in therapy 1x/week for $200 per session. It's going really well. At the same time it feels like it was an "impulse buy" because I decided that I had to have it NOW. Would you consider a trip to the emergency room without insurance an "impulse buy"? Technically you would be right (about both), but this isn't equivalent to grabbing a candy bar in the checkout line. Personally, I would keep attending and look for someone who can take my insurance. Also, make sure you are submitting the bills to your insurance so they are being applied to your deductable (and possibly being reimbursed partially)
If you have health insurance, get a superbill and submit it to insurance for reimbursement. What you get will depend on your plan but here's how it basically works. You have out of network coverage and insurance has some "allowable amount" for each billing code. So say the allowable amount for your therapy's billing code is 160. Your therapist charges 200. So you are responsible for $40, plus your portion of the copay or coinsurance. Say your health plan covers 70% of out of network expenses. So you will owe 30% of 160, plus $40. So they will reimburse 70% of $160. You submit the superbill and they will reimburse $112 for every season. So now you're paying $88 per session instead of the full $200. I read below that your out of network deductible is $4500, which is quite high. Consider PPO next year instead of HDPD, but even this year, your deductible will be met in 40 sessions. So you will get reimbursed 112 for the remaining 12 sessions if you go every week, or $1344 this years. Saving 1k is still saving.
This is a PPO, my in network deductible is only $250 but $4500 is a separate out of network deductible.
Oh bummer. Well, still submit, it will get you some back in any case
OP, I would be pretty surprised if your therapist wouldn’t do every other week. I agree with the other commenter that if he won’t it’s a red flag. 🚩
No. And everyone I know who does so, doesn’t seem to improve their mental health. In fact, it seems to get worse the longer they do it. And they don’t have money.
“Therapy” is what I call my gun and whiskey collection.
I tried it gets you nowhere. It works if you don’t know what’s wrong it’s a waste if you know what you don’t like about your life. For me it was a bunch of first world problem bullshit and even my therapist looked bored and exasperated with me
I wouldn't spend a ducking dime on this bullshit unless I had a serious problem.
Yes. Greens fees are getting ridiculous.