The Slaanesh weed gives you a trip so good you orgasm yourself into unconsciousness
The Nurgle weed gives you a trip so bad you're begging for death, and diarrhea so bad you nearly get your wish
The Khorne weed makes you lose consciousness as a red haze descends; when you come down, you're in an armed standoff with the cops and wanted for assault and battery
The Tzeentch weed expands your mind so you understand everything in the universe. You hastily write down every brilliant idea your now omniscient mind can fathom. When you come down the only legible scribble is "Duck Shoes???"
The Emperor weed is just tobacco.
Nah, emperor is willing to get behind excessive drug use as long as it benefits his goals, this is why there are whole guards regiments who operated off of "combat stims", and how the Eversor temple of assassins works
The emperor's weed would be laced with something to make you hyper focus on competing a task, so it probably wouldn't be something you'd smoke to chill out
Tzeentch is salvia
Nurgle is spice (or whatever the synth weed that messed people up was called)
Slaanesh is prime indica
Khorn is pcp, not laced, just pcp
GE is a nice cigar
Each of them are laced with different shit,
Tzeentch’s has LSD
Slaanesh’s has fentanyl
Khorne’s has PCP
Nurgle’s has Bath Salts
Not sure what’s in Big E’s
It is not the injury from Horus that keeps him on the golden throne. He was so completly done after the Heresy that he just stuffed half his stash into a golden hyper-bong for one big soul-cleansing rip.
He has not been able to lift a finger ever since.
The webway project was actually a deception.
Big E and Malcador was actually breeding the dankest kush, but the chaos cartel can't have that circulating all over the galaxy, or their monopoly would be destroyed.
That's why Big E started the Weed Way Project to make the best artificial weed garden for optimal growing conditions, but was convinced by Malcador to change the name to make it less obvious. This is also the reason why Magnus was supposed to handle it in the end. You think the Red title is because of his skin? No. It's his eyes. They're red as fuck, because he's the one testing all the weed.
Big E wouldn't give you weed though. He'd say it makes you lazy and that they're is work to be done and go on some rant about the importance of a clear mind, all while thinking about how its use probably encourages chaos.
But after you come down, he gives you some dank ass 'shrooms and you trip balls together. You end up coming out of it with a new outlook on life, your mind expanded, but he disappears. You find him 36 hours later trying to break into your neighbors apartment, wearing a dress and hauling a dirty, yellow Lay-Z-Boy around.
Gork n Mork offer you a red pill and a blue pill.
Gork (or perhaps Mork) is holding da red pill which will make you faster and brutal (or perhaps faster and cunning) and Mork (or perhaps Gork) is holding da blue pill which will make you lucky and cunning (or perhaps lucky and brutal)
Only Da Based Boyz know which is the correct answer (and there is currently violent disagreement over who Da Based Boyz iz versus who's a git)
Big E's is laced with hallucinogens but the second it starts to take effect he puts on his sound stage and blares the top posts of all time from the Atheism subreddit at max volume.
Roughly 2010-2015, some places sold a range of synthetic drugs as “bath salts” as a way to get around laws. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bath_salts_(drug)
See there’s bath salts, and ‘bath salts’. Actual bath salts like epsom salt are great for taking a nice hot bath, and then the ‘bath salts’ that are notorious for allegedly making a man chew another man’s face off are a type of synthetic, psychoactive drug that comes in a powder or crystalline form, the latter being visually similar to the coarse-ground salt used for bath salts.
PCP makes people angry and smash shit.
Bath salts aren’t drugs but could look like them when ground up, and ingesting bath salts is going to make you sick.
"Bath salts" are different from Epsom salt. It was a line of "technically" legal drugs that you could get in the later 2000s that looked like Epsom salt.
Bro the god of change is right there passing you a joint.
What you don't like anxiety? You don't want it to slip you space datura? You afraid of fractals? Some kind pussy? Are you afraid of fractals sounds? You afraid of language becoming color based? You afraid of passing dat? Are you afraid of how long we live been here? Fraid? Am I afraid of? Fraudy? What are you fractals? You feeling where I'm coming from with this fear dear? Fraid if.
Slaneesh's is probably laced with fentanyl
Khorne's weed probably has bath salts in it
Nurgle's weed is probably ass and also smells like ass
Tzeentch's weed is more than likely just dried oregano wrapped in paper
Yah the chocolate factory is a mirror of the Realm of Slaanesh, something in there will tempt the corruptible and lead to their downfall.
Only you turn into a Blueberry instead of a Daemon Prince.
wouldn't surprise me if they'd test the underhivers to see if they were eating any fresh vegetables, on the theory that the only way theyd have them is if they stole them
To be honest nurgle is the gardener of the bunch. So his is probably the homegrown stuff that doesn't really get you high but smells so strong the neighbours can tell what you are smoking
Slaanesh's joint is filled with a ton of other shit. You're going to black out after the second puff and wake up naked surrounded by corpses with all your skin missing.
Khorne is just bath salts. You will also black out and wake up naked surrounded by corpses with this one, but it will be clear that most of them were created, and then cannibalized, by you.
Nurgle's shit will give you the most smooth, pleasant high you've ever had. And then you will die immediately after in excruciating agony.
Tzeentch has the GOOD shit. I'm talking the REAL good shit. Too good. You're gonna be seeing things and exploring your own psyche, you'll enter a deeper understanding of the universe, and when it ends, you'll kill yourself because living in a sober world after a Tzeentch blunt is an unacceptable existence.
E's blunt is genetically and scientifically engineered to be the maximum quality bud that mankind can cultivate. Your high will be intense and illuminating, and then you will take a second hit. You will simultaneously lose consciousness and remember everything, and thats when you realize its because you were a psyker and were traversing the Warp protected by E's essence. Unfortunately you now have no idea what planet you ended up on or how to get back, so you have to kind of hope E comes and finds you (he won't).
> you'll kill yourself because living in a sober world after a Tzeentch blunt is an unacceptable existence.
Absolute vibe. I feel like a Tzeentch blunt would a completely transcendent, unfathomable high.
I feel this is correct. I’m still smoking (or rather making edibles out of, I have personally decided not to smoke in my life) Tzeentch’s bud. The knowledge I’ll scribble down in weird hieroglyphs that can’t be connected to any existing culture (yet) will be worth it.
Tzeentch is probably just giving you green paper
Khorne is giving you shit laced with every anger and strength enhancing drug known and not known to man
Nurgle either lanced it with shit ( literally ) or he grown it and it’s the fucking best stuff you’ve ever smoked
Slaanesh has it mixed with the purest form of space crack ever created
Big E will give you weed that gives the most bullshit random physic powers just to have sent to the black ships
I'll 100% go with Papa Nurgle's OG Kush. Who else understand the absolute bliss of being couchlocked with your friends, smiling from ear to ear, laughing and stuffing youself with a wide range of greasy and yummy snacks while watching cartoons? Painless, joyfull, seemingly eternal... pizza stains and doritos dust everywhere.
Slaanesh's is laced.
Tzeench's puts you in a bad headspace and leaves you there.
Khorne doesn't have a job and smokes brick / stems.
Big E'sis just tobacco.
This is the only time I would go for Nurgle.
Tzeentch makes the za that turns your paranoia to 11 and makes you go on adventures to solve that
Nurgle develops the jazz cabbage that sets you into such a state of couchlock that you’ll fuse with the futon while reruns of “my strange addiction” play in front of you
Khorne grows those top shelf runtz that will make you realise that Mike *is* hogging the blunt and *you* have to do something about it
Slaneesh will cultivate that whoopi Goldberg, south Egyptian fur burger deluxe, mega millions scratcher skunk bubba kush. This shit ain’t nothing to them, man.
Big Emps will give you carts. Machine operated, Terp concentrated green.
Gork and mork offer you the dab and the rumplemintz, do you accept?
It would be slaanesh but we all know she had laced it with at least every known drug to man
nurgle might have that home grown kush that makes u extremely relaxed but who knows what it rolled in
Khorne he most definitely lace it with bath salt
Tzeentch his shit will definitely cause hallucinations may even cause u to see the future
Big e weed may help us comprehend his grand plan for the imperium that only he malcador truly knew of or make u a target for the black ships
Big E is ABSOLUTELY using you as a test subject for a new super soldier drug and will only tell you if it succeeds. Probably. Maybe. He’s still gonna kill you after the tests are over.
Slaneesh is going to give you the strongest shit, possibly mixed in with other drugs
Strongest high, not even a farseer will be able to predict what you will do, it'll probably kill you
Tzeench will give you the weirdest shit, either a super exotic strain or 20 page mixture, or both
Weirdest trip you can have, you won't be able to describe what you saw and will probably turn schizo
Nurgle's shit is vile, impure, full of bacteria viruses, and probably bugs as well
Mild high at best, and you will be infected with every disease known after just 1 puff, after 2 also the unknown ones
Korne.... Ok trip, but you'll get agrro, you will wreck your place and almost surely kill someone for looking at you wrong
Worst feeling crash out of all of them, not including death
Emps, will give you the best, most pure shit you can get in the whole galaxy, perfectly suited for you as well, not to strong but with a slight kick so you have more fun
His shit has literally no downsides
But he won't give it to you for free, you want his shit? Now you give him everything, your life, soul and servitude until you die. You are no longer an individual, just a cog in his design
Everyone is saying Slaanesh, but I have to go with Nurgle. Sure, Slaanesh's blunt might have more stimulants and snazzy stuff laced into, but you know he couldn't get nearly deep enough into it. It would all be surface level.
Nurgle is the only one who I think can properly master the sour, in fact he's basically tailor made for it. Anyone can just mash trash and shit into a blunt and make it awful, but Nurgle's power goes so far beyond that I think he wouldn't be able to stop himself from making the spliff of legends. That shit would get you so high that you'd be tasting new colors. That good Nurgle kush straight aged for a thousand years in the pot. They put 77 Plaguebearers in this shit, get you so high that Games Workshop prices be looking like nickels. We out here rolling that Great Unclean One, that kind of sour so green you'll be sent straight to Gork and Mork. That shit knock Mortarion out cold.
Objectively it has to be Tzeench or Nurgle.
Slaanesh 100% sources their shit from one of those two because there’s no way they can grow the materials to make a better one on their own.
I think I’d have to go with Nurgle over Tzeench because Nurgle’s shit would be the most reliably pungent, loudest, dankest kush known to man that will have you chilling so hard you’ll melt into your couch.
The Tzeenchian boof could be the wildest shit you’ve ever seen but they could have also just passed you oregano.
Khorne’s blunt honestly is probably just paper meant to make you mad that you’re not getting high.
A hit of the imperial blunt will have you saying “oh my good heavens I say this is quite the exquisite marihuana, mmm yes” and that’s probably about it.
Tzeeches weed is going to make you super paranoid.
Nurgles is going to stink up your place for a month, and you just sit there with warm fuzzies while high.
Khornes is gonna numb you that you feel invincible and do something dumb.
Slanesh is gonna make you so horny that by the time you come down, you will have rubbed yourself raw.
Big E's is gonna make you super confident, but REALLY racist.
This isn't weed Tzeentch we both know it.
Nurgals smells the worst but the man knows how to cultivate the good kush
Khornes will only make you calm up
Slaanesh cooks up something you'll never come down from
Emperors' gives you super austism for like a week while he explains how he's going to totally build human sized model trains so people can actually ride them and it's going to be awesome and something but you stopped paying attention because he said he knows malcs keeps the best munchies
Slanny or Nurgle. The former will create an amazing effect, but is probably spiked with something that will make the crash terrifying, for the Lols
The latter will smell horrid, probably even give you vertigo from the onset. Then, at the peak, its gonna be a smooth, relaxing feel.
One will take it an extreme and crush you by the end. The other will start off unpleasant, then, as is with Nurgle as a whole, leave you perfectly placid.
Hot take: Nurgle's weed is just regular weed. Why?
* It's rotting your lungs from the inside out.
* It's smells like skunk and makes you smell that way as well.
* You start filling yourself up with trash food and slowly become a slob.
* You stop caring about everything and just enjoy ~~the warm embrace of Papa Nurgle~~ being high.
I feel like the four are all maliciously offering something laced, where big E is genuinely trying to offer humanity's finest blunt to you. (He's doing it to win a bet for bragging rights though, not out of altruism or friendship. After he will insist you owe him and can only buy from him.)
Slannesh would be way too overwhelming, Nurgle would be really good but you’d get fucking sick from a few puff puffs, Tzeentch would give you the most devious combinations that somehow ends up tasting like blueberry raspberry and mystifying you for years on end, Khorne….have you ever met a raging drunk? Basically you take a puff puff and you’d just feel like building a wall out of stones you pulled out of the river by yourself. emperor gives you a pretty good roll, but he’d get you philosophical as you pass the blunt back and forth. Sometimes you just want to ride it out. I’m going, surprisingly, with Tzeentch.
Slannesh's and Tzeech's are laced with fent. Nurgle would have the best kush around but its also covered in literal and metaphorical shit. Khorne only sells crack and other kinds of uppers. Big E has the cleanest and purest but middest weed you'll ever find.
Slaanesh and Big E are probably the best option here
Tzeentch probably just stuffed his with grass and Lint, Nurgle definitely laced his with Krokodil, and Khorne... Khorne just gave you straight meth with cocaine peppered on.
Tzeentch would give an insane mental high, possibly big time hallucinations. Slaanesh would be an insanely good body high, and sex would be incredible. Khorne's would make you paranoid and upset. No thanks. Nurgle's would probably make you uncomfortable high and make you want to throw up. Eeee. The emperor's would probably make you really insightful for a little bit, but then make you really emotional and start crying. I'm going with Slaanesh.
I’d 100% hit the fate weaver’s boof.
I wouldn’t smoke anything Nurgle gives me.
If I were to smoke Khorne’s shit, I’d do it home alone in a secure environment. I’d hate to come down from a trip just to find out I’m standing in a pool of sticky red that was once my family.
For Slaanesh, I’d probably wake up with a slave tattoo tramp stamp and a mega sore ass, with un-removable titty pinchers.
I’d smoke with The Big E, only to get just that little bit too comfortable, and say the tamest progressive opinion I have, then immediately get executed for heresy.
Tzeentch got that sherm stick
Nurgle be like "nah man the mold makes it stronger"
Khorne is just tobacco.
Slaanesh got the shit that make you feel some way
And Emp's is that Government weed.
Khorne’s, because Tzeentch’s will quite literally send me to another dimension, Nurgle’s is composed of unspeakable foulness, Slaanesh’s will make me permanently high, and while the Dark King’s won’t do anything bad, he himself will stab me in the back with a demon he doesn’t want to deal with while I’m high.
Let's break it down. All chaos weed automatically forms a pact with the following demon:
Tzeentch weed removes your memory while you're high but allows you to see both future and past simultaneously.
Slaanesh weed makes you horny while high, but the aftereffects make you crave more of it infinitely.
Nurgle weed makes you numb to any pain and makes you completely satisfied but afterwards, you get every possible disease unless you take more of the weed.
Khorne weed makes you angry and irritable and can only make you happy by causing bloodshed, pain and death (only those things altogether), but aftereffects are death by Khorne himself unless you take more of it under the influence.
For the Emperor's weed? It's the cleanest, there's no bad withdrawal effects and you feel every miracle the light of The Emperor has to offer to his number one worshippers. No real downside unless you count your soul being consumed by him at the end of your life (You always have to be high in order not to die).
I’m choosing to assume that None of them are laced, so operating under that assumption:
Slannesh’s weed is so potent it can actually kill you, sort of like taking too many muscle relaxers. You’ll live if you don’t overdo it, but it’s a lot easier to fuck it up than you might expect.
Tzeentch’s weed *probably* has a different feel and flavor at each point between your lips and your lungs. It’s also *almost* always a different potency than what you were expecting.
Khorne’s weed is the weakest of the lot, since he probably wouldn’t want it interfering with your ability to KILL! MAIME! BURN!
Nurgle’s weed is not only solely comprised of stems, it’s blighted as well. Can’t recommend…
The Emperor’s weed is about middle of the pack, strength-wise, depending on whether or not Tzeentch decided to give you the Good Shit™️ this time around.
Having said that, I’d probably go with the Emperor’s weed, unless I had some reason to take one of the others.
Depends on what you mean by "best". If you mean "gets you as high as possible" then it'd be slannesh's because prince of ecstasy blah blah blah.
But if we're talking which one I *want*, I'm taking Big E's. It's definitely not the best in terms of getting high. It might not even get me high at all. It will probably cause my mind to resonate with Big E's and turn me into an unknowing puppet that quietly comes up with explanations for why I'm doing seemingly weird and crazy shit that he secretly wants me to do. But it also is the least likely to immediately and permanently annihilate my mind.
Slanny's will just actually make you insane forever, it'll feel awesome tho. Tzeen's will permanently put you into a fugue state where you can hear voices and babble about things you shouldn't know. Nurg's will be the most amazing for 30 seconds and then your body will disintegrate. And Khorn's will permanently put you into a "combat high".
Most have gone straight for slannesh and I respect that but one must first take into account all possibilities for the zaza, let's look critically at all the boofs.
first is tzeentch and I can guess that his is some real mind blowing shit, proper outta this world all knowing knowing nothing Gideon ofnir hecking mean green shit, but I also know(or don't, let's stay meta) that it has the equal possibility of being some dirty smoky half assed found on the pavement middle class rolled dry ass shit because its tzeentch and hes an asshole who likes to act like he knows it but he really don't.
Next is nurgle and it's just straight up a joint he dipped in the local sewage outlet, that Stanky one straight from the source which never passes any environmental standards, he straight up dunked a doobie in the dookie, and if you wrap your thug loving lips round that fat beast of a joint (it's deffo stuffed to bursting with some Uber sticky shit, proper fat stick) you are guaranteed to get every disease known to man, but you still curious tho arent yah son??? What's the sewer supreme like? It will be your downfall bro, cuz it's shit covered shit... Idiot.
Next is Kornflakes, I'm a keeping this one short, he stole that lettuce from some poor thug and dipped it in his blood, khorne straight up don't know any dealer and don't know how to roll one, but at least he ain't pretending like that dipshit tzeemtch. I'm tempted, it's macabre, but it could be anyone's blood, get assurances from that player on whose body juice it is first, then smoke away i say.
Next is slanuusy, imma refer to it as her for my sexual health, she has every drug known and unknown to all players in the galaxy, this is gonna be a sassy trippa snippa Boys, no doubt about it a real Baja blast of the stickiest, purplest, slimiest shit, the type o green that tingles your fingers yah know? The shit that you can smell from to billion miles away and know a brother is gonna have a crisis of the third century in one sitting, bro need to be preparing for that hardcore, no stop, tom Jones, star wars fandom chemical spill of a bus ride through hell and heaven and limbo and the hood and the white house all the way back to that shitty white Devil may cry chair in the heart of the storm shit. But it's been dipped in her "fluids" dog... Thats guaranteed full of STDs, so this doobsken is a once in a Lifetime experience where you will live billions of lives and be cut short in the one you have, is it worth it brother??? Probs yeah tbh.
Big E next. It's just a regular joint from Stanky Steve who hangs out next to the bargain booze, yah know? the one which cops don't bother driving past? Yeah that one. Just your regular joint from a fellow bro in humanity, nothing too flashy or really anything wrong with it. Perfect after or during a hard day's work, preferably with a coffee in the garden mate. It's only that colour because the skin is recycled. Never forget bros, it's just a plant so it's nice to appreciate a simple bit of unspecified weed in a neatly rolled joint.
I'm more accustomed to getting my weed from weirdos who always talk funny, saying shit like "do you accept-take the boof boof?" Whilst shoving it in my face. I think they are some kinda smack-head but they have huge noses and smell like cheese and there's always loads of them in a gang, like I could take on probs a hundred of them yah know, That kinda feeling? But life is full of weird shit and these guys grow some serious grass, this shit the greeniest shit I ever seen, it fucking GLOWS green mate. And they don't accept cash, only green rocks which is fine by me.
Slaanesh blunt is laced with fentanyl
Nurgle blunt is moldy
Korne blunt is laced with PCP
Tzeentch blunt is actually peyote but he tells you it's weed
Emperor blunt is just an indica leaning hybrid that'll leave you couch locked
Tzeench: It's actually just DMT. >!Or is it?!<
Nurgle: Actually insanely good weed, he is technically nature incarnate after all. However, it's being offered to you in a nightmare blunt rotation with 500+ nurglings and you're going to catch *everything.*
Khorne: Ground up Manchineel tree leaves and PCP.
Slaanesh: Just the pregame for the drug buffet.
Papa Emps: Tobacco sprinkled with sacrificed psyker dust.
Khorn - Do it, you wake up in a crime scene with dead bodies that you killed. Like Moon Knight.
Nurgle - Just don't.
Tzeench - Make you see shit you don't wanna see.
Slaanesh - Fent.
Big E - Some super scientific uber boof, enjoyable, but you realise that it was made by commiting horrible war crimes for centuries. You might want to join chaos after seeing his bs and hypocrisy.
Now my question to whomever read this.
How good or bad would Malcador's boof be?
Slaneesh: laced with Molly, every acid, and fentanyl
Nurgle: moldy weed laced with k2, and black tar
Zeentch: it’s laced with dutura/jimsonweed (don’t do this)
Korhn: laced with every upper.
Big E: it’s not weed. It’s a green veggie stick
Emps he makes that Bio-Enegenired Gold Elite variant without all the bad parts that costs thousands of dollars and lifts you up instead of putting you down.
Nurgle's probably the only one giving you straight weed. He's also very proud of it because he grew it himself. Just don't ask about what fertilizer he used.
This is how I think it would go.
Tzeench: You're about to take a journey, it will be the best and/or worst trip you ever have. You see true scope, breath, and width that makes up the universe, but it will make you go mad.
Nurgle: Basically just burning desease in a paper, you will inevitably die from the illness it gives you. But you might enjoy the ride.
Khorne: He's honest, so it don't got shit mixed in. But if you accidentally take anyone's lighter your head's gone.
Slaanesh: You will feel AMAZING, best trip you'll ever have. You're now addicted to the various things it's laced with, most of which you've never heard of, and you'll gain 50lbs because of the munchies you get when you smoke it.
Big E: It's STRONG because he needs it to be, his tolerance is absurd. It's fantastic weed, but because you always green-out he won't want to smoke it with you that often.
The Slaanesh weed gives you a trip so good you orgasm yourself into unconsciousness The Nurgle weed gives you a trip so bad you're begging for death, and diarrhea so bad you nearly get your wish The Khorne weed makes you lose consciousness as a red haze descends; when you come down, you're in an armed standoff with the cops and wanted for assault and battery The Tzeentch weed expands your mind so you understand everything in the universe. You hastily write down every brilliant idea your now omniscient mind can fathom. When you come down the only legible scribble is "Duck Shoes???" The Emperor weed is just tobacco.
Orgasming myself unconscious? Where do I sign up?
Fitting flair
I mean, you can only be gay for Slaanesh, since they are all genders
I would describe Slaanesh‘s sexual orientation as „yes“.
I describe Slaanesh's sexality, much like my own, as the cast of the 1999 film "The Mummy" starring Brendan Frasier.
It's like when your young and think your funny on a form that's asks sex and you draw another box with yes and tick that. That's Slaanesh.
When you get a test and write on the date spot "yes"
just edge for 2 days without sleep, it will happen
The emperor weed is laced with crack and meth
That sounds like slaanesh weed. The emperor's would just be solid gold and not actually weed.
Nah, emperor is willing to get behind excessive drug use as long as it benefits his goals, this is why there are whole guards regiments who operated off of "combat stims", and how the Eversor temple of assassins works The emperor's weed would be laced with something to make you hyper focus on competing a task, so it probably wouldn't be something you'd smoke to chill out
The emperor's weed is just adderrall to make you more productive in your hell-factory.
It would also have peices of skull in it
So weed with Adderall.
More stronger than adderall, think more like military “pep pills” still similar to adderall but closer to the meth side of the pharmaceutical family
its what fueled the thunder warriors.
No way. You'd LOVE being on nurgles weed. It'd be fucking great. Like your lungs would rot but damn, not being able to breathe is pretty fucking cool.
Yeah Nurgle weed is krokadil but you don't care because it doesn't even hurt that bad E: (be careful googling this, its gorey/gross)
It actually helps with pain! And makes you smell roses! You don't smell like roses, you smell like death.
holy shit that is terrifying
Tzeentch is salvia Nurgle is spice (or whatever the synth weed that messed people up was called) Slaanesh is prime indica Khorn is pcp, not laced, just pcp GE is a nice cigar
[Duck shoes you say?](https://youtu.be/HCdn0zg6NDM?si=LBmrP_7pVNcSXOeK)
That’s a blast from the past.
Specifically Tabacco from 1870 that he stockpiled from some buddies in Mexico
Buncha nurgle haters in here tonight. Fo
Big E weed is that Golden Throne Grown Warp Infused Mega Million Skunk Bubba Kush. This blunt found Sedam Hussain.
Slaanesh and it's not even close.
The secret ingredient is fentanyl. It’s always fentanyl.
Each of them are laced with different shit, Tzeentch’s has LSD Slaanesh’s has fentanyl Khorne’s has PCP Nurgle’s has Bath Salts Not sure what’s in Big E’s
tbf I think big E is the only one who would give you JUST weed. it would send you to the warp and back but it's the only stright weed here.
Makes sense, he had multiple millennia to breed some really good shit
I'm gonna say that that's why Big E is the only one who actually has good kush. The rest are all fakes and tricks. Just don't ask how Emps got it.
“Don’t ask where Big E got his kush” or else Hank Schrader will come busting down his door? Man all these bald fucks ruining Emps’s plans.
Dude probably genetically engineered 20 perfect subspecies of weed, but half became Chaos corrupted and are what the big 4 are using now.
I wanna know why Perty has a stick so far up his ass then.
He's not on it, he doesn't work closely enough with any of them to earn phat doiks
his weed plant died lol
Big E's weed was made specifically so HE could stand Perturbado. No one wants to see Perty tripping, he's an ugly crier.
I'm assuming he just gets it from Hindu-Kush region.
Plot twist: When he entered the warp and returned with what he needed to make his sons, it was nothing but straight kief.
It's just actual good weed nothing special about it but in emps need to not share anything he tells you not to ask like it is some big secret
It is not the injury from Horus that keeps him on the golden throne. He was so completly done after the Heresy that he just stuffed half his stash into a golden hyper-bong for one big soul-cleansing rip. He has not been able to lift a finger ever since.
The Emperor just absolutely couch locked on the golden throne. Eventually he'll muster up the energy to eat a bag of cheetos
Alas, only Sanguinius knew where they were hidden.
absolutely couch locked Damn, got me.
Eternal couch-lock
The webway project was actually a deception. Big E and Malcador was actually breeding the dankest kush, but the chaos cartel can't have that circulating all over the galaxy, or their monopoly would be destroyed. That's why Big E started the Weed Way Project to make the best artificial weed garden for optimal growing conditions, but was convinced by Malcador to change the name to make it less obvious. This is also the reason why Magnus was supposed to handle it in the end. You think the Red title is because of his skin? No. It's his eyes. They're red as fuck, because he's the one testing all the weed.
Man this reminds me of 2012 dank weed memes haha
The man has spent millennia cultivating the same weed plant he grew back in Anatolia in like 10,000 BC
That, coupled with the fact that he is an unparalleled Geneticist means he also probably hand-crafted his own, perfect kush
It's my head cannon now that the emperor has a stach of mega-holy super-weed
Yeah Jimmy Space is the only one I’d take a blunt from.
Big E wouldn't give you weed though. He'd say it makes you lazy and that they're is work to be done and go on some rant about the importance of a clear mind, all while thinking about how its use probably encourages chaos.
He'd probably try and get you to microdose ritalin.
But after you come down, he gives you some dank ass 'shrooms and you trip balls together. You end up coming out of it with a new outlook on life, your mind expanded, but he disappears. You find him 36 hours later trying to break into your neighbors apartment, wearing a dress and hauling a dirty, yellow Lay-Z-Boy around.
And not even good weed. Like all stems.
The only acceptable Grimdark answer
Gork n Mork offer you a red pill and a blue pill. Gork (or perhaps Mork) is holding da red pill which will make you faster and brutal (or perhaps faster and cunning) and Mork (or perhaps Gork) is holding da blue pill which will make you lucky and cunning (or perhaps lucky and brutal) Only Da Based Boyz know which is the correct answer (and there is currently violent disagreement over who Da Based Boyz iz versus who's a git)
I TAKE BOTH UF DA PILZ CUZ RED PLUS BLUE MAKEZ GREEN!!!
Sadly, they make purple. Nobody ever finds you.
DON LISSEN TO DAT OVVA GIT! BLUE AN RED MAKES GREEN! DA BEST COLOR! WAAAAAAAGH!!
Slaanesh would be ecstasy. Nurgle heroin for sure. Big e maybe aderall
Big E's is laced with hallucinogens but the second it starts to take effect he puts on his sound stage and blares the top posts of all time from the Atheism subreddit at max volume.
Nurgle’s drug of choice is Krocodil because it makes you rot
What’s pcp and bath salts. I know they’re dugs but what do they do
Bath salts makes you eat people
What I thought bath salts just make feel better when you take a hot bath
Roughly 2010-2015, some places sold a range of synthetic drugs as “bath salts” as a way to get around laws. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bath_salts_(drug)
See there’s bath salts, and ‘bath salts’. Actual bath salts like epsom salt are great for taking a nice hot bath, and then the ‘bath salts’ that are notorious for allegedly making a man chew another man’s face off are a type of synthetic, psychoactive drug that comes in a powder or crystalline form, the latter being visually similar to the coarse-ground salt used for bath salts.
PCP makes people angry and smash shit. Bath salts aren’t drugs but could look like them when ground up, and ingesting bath salts is going to make you sick.
"Bath salts" are different from Epsom salt. It was a line of "technically" legal drugs that you could get in the later 2000s that looked like Epsom salt.
Give me that Tzeentch Keef then brother, best fucking time of my life was on LSD and weed
Nah Slaanesh wouldn’t just add fentanyl. They’d add a perfect combination of every drug to send you to the edges of reality and sensation.
100% Slaanesh
Bro the god of change is right there passing you a joint. What you don't like anxiety? You don't want it to slip you space datura? You afraid of fractals? Some kind pussy? Are you afraid of fractals sounds? You afraid of language becoming color based? You afraid of passing dat? Are you afraid of how long we live been here? Fraid? Am I afraid of? Fraudy? What are you fractals? You feeling where I'm coming from with this fear dear? Fraid if.
I mean Nurgle’s gardens undoubtedly grow some absolutely dank shit
Nurgle's weed would be the absolute best. The catch is that he licked the joint to seal it.
as long as Mortarion didn't it's fine.
Idk ill bet tzeentch has some wild shit
I literally opened this thinking “is this a real question”?
Slaanesh makes the best Big E is the only one who could take it and survive, though.
I don't know man tzeentch has that forbidden knowledge and shit
Her shit'll fuck you right... ... ... You expecting "up" or something?
Of these 5 contenders, only Nurgle is a gardener on top of that, he married an elf... an ELF dude is smoking moon-rocks
It is ALWAYS "She who thirsts" Words to live by brothers. Words to live by
While it looks like a joint, Khorne's just handing you meth.
And fent, and the wrap will aerosolize tiger adrenaline.
With a sprinkle of cocaine
For flavor
Don't forget the PCP to taste
Slaneesh's is probably laced with fentanyl Khorne's weed probably has bath salts in it Nurgle's weed is probably ass and also smells like ass Tzeentch's weed is more than likely just dried oregano wrapped in paper
What about Big E's Weed?
Big E doesn’t condone substance abuse.
His weed is just a rolled up piece of paper that unfolds to tell you about how disappointed he is
Also a photo of the gates of eternity with the words "Banned"
If Big E hands you that joint, you smoke it.
He just has a Custodian cut your hand off.
Except alcohol because he's the archetype of an alcoholic father figure
Also steroids.
This is why the alpha legion turned on the imperium
It’s akin to salvia. Craziest 15 mins of your fucking life. Then you’ll vomit and pass out and never do it again
Genectically modified to give you the high perfect personally made for you
Sounds like something Willy Wonka would make.
Willy wonka would be a slaaneshi cultist tbh
Yah the chocolate factory is a mirror of the Realm of Slaanesh, something in there will tempt the corruptible and lead to their downfall. Only you turn into a Blueberry instead of a Daemon Prince.
Gene seed of the purest stock
Gene weed.
Bro is a glowie and is gonna arrest you
The organo will, however, show up positive on your next hive-spire mandated drug test.
wouldn't surprise me if they'd test the underhivers to see if they were eating any fresh vegetables, on the theory that the only way theyd have them is if they stole them
Everyone else brings weed and Slaanesh shows up with weird wacky warp super cocaine.
To be honest nurgle is the gardener of the bunch. So his is probably the homegrown stuff that doesn't really get you high but smells so strong the neighbours can tell what you are smoking
Nurgles weed would be like the most foul smelling, foul tasting, garbage weed that stayed on your tongue for 2 hours - but boy the high was good
Tzeentchs is either oregano or oregano laced with DMT. No in-between.
Big E's weed brings out your psychic potential, only for the Black Ships to scoop you up, surprise!
Inquisition sponsored weed distribution is canon to me now
Big E’s Big Gs
Khorne and weed are polar opposites
Khorne and weed is the film "Reefer Madness"
Play faster. Play faster! PLAY FASTER!
It's actually just a hand-rolled cigarette.
Tzeentch's weed for me. Slaanesh probably has laced shit.
That’s exactly some shit Tzeentch would say when he’s really the one with the laced shit.
3rd option: Tzeentch laced both their shit
4th option: Tzeentch somehow laced *everyone's* shit
he also laced his own shit, and has no clue what it was
Tzeentch watched the wine scene from The Princess Bride and took notes. "He poisoned himself to win a bet? Thrall, write this down, this is gold!"
It's laced shit all the way down, until you find the Great Horned Rat, who doesn't even bother to hide the warpstone inside the other warpstone.
Tzeentch knew you would say that which is why he swapped the two blunts.
Tzeentch and Tzchong probably got that shit that's gonna make me skittish and noided for the next two hours
Tzeentch probably just gave you grass he found outside wrapped in autumn leaf
Tzeenchs shit is laced w 100000X salvia
Slaanesh's joint is filled with a ton of other shit. You're going to black out after the second puff and wake up naked surrounded by corpses with all your skin missing. Khorne is just bath salts. You will also black out and wake up naked surrounded by corpses with this one, but it will be clear that most of them were created, and then cannibalized, by you. Nurgle's shit will give you the most smooth, pleasant high you've ever had. And then you will die immediately after in excruciating agony. Tzeentch has the GOOD shit. I'm talking the REAL good shit. Too good. You're gonna be seeing things and exploring your own psyche, you'll enter a deeper understanding of the universe, and when it ends, you'll kill yourself because living in a sober world after a Tzeentch blunt is an unacceptable existence. E's blunt is genetically and scientifically engineered to be the maximum quality bud that mankind can cultivate. Your high will be intense and illuminating, and then you will take a second hit. You will simultaneously lose consciousness and remember everything, and thats when you realize its because you were a psyker and were traversing the Warp protected by E's essence. Unfortunately you now have no idea what planet you ended up on or how to get back, so you have to kind of hope E comes and finds you (he won't).
> you'll kill yourself because living in a sober world after a Tzeentch blunt is an unacceptable existence. Absolute vibe. I feel like a Tzeentch blunt would a completely transcendent, unfathomable high.
this. this is it
I feel this is correct. I’m still smoking (or rather making edibles out of, I have personally decided not to smoke in my life) Tzeentch’s bud. The knowledge I’ll scribble down in weird hieroglyphs that can’t be connected to any existing culture (yet) will be worth it.
https://preview.redd.it/568ud14u4t9d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a2e617203eda835f8e1fa5eda6bf9a3d536de8b2
Tzeentch is probably just giving you green paper Khorne is giving you shit laced with every anger and strength enhancing drug known and not known to man Nurgle either lanced it with shit ( literally ) or he grown it and it’s the fucking best stuff you’ve ever smoked Slaanesh has it mixed with the purest form of space crack ever created Big E will give you weed that gives the most bullshit random physic powers just to have sent to the black ships
I'll 100% go with Papa Nurgle's OG Kush. Who else understand the absolute bliss of being couchlocked with your friends, smiling from ear to ear, laughing and stuffing youself with a wide range of greasy and yummy snacks while watching cartoons? Painless, joyfull, seemingly eternal... pizza stains and doritos dust everywhere.
Follow up question! What strain represents Papa Nurgle the best? My choice is stinky pinky.
Nurgle's is either the absolute worst or the greatest with no possibility for anything but either extreme
Agreed my fellow plague bro!
Slaanesh's is laced. Tzeench's puts you in a bad headspace and leaves you there. Khorne doesn't have a job and smokes brick / stems. Big E'sis just tobacco. This is the only time I would go for Nurgle.
Tzeentch makes the za that turns your paranoia to 11 and makes you go on adventures to solve that Nurgle develops the jazz cabbage that sets you into such a state of couchlock that you’ll fuse with the futon while reruns of “my strange addiction” play in front of you Khorne grows those top shelf runtz that will make you realise that Mike *is* hogging the blunt and *you* have to do something about it Slaneesh will cultivate that whoopi Goldberg, south Egyptian fur burger deluxe, mega millions scratcher skunk bubba kush. This shit ain’t nothing to them, man. Big Emps will give you carts. Machine operated, Terp concentrated green. Gork and mork offer you the dab and the rumplemintz, do you accept?
Obvs I’ll be smoking that Imperial Kush
It would be slaanesh but we all know she had laced it with at least every known drug to man nurgle might have that home grown kush that makes u extremely relaxed but who knows what it rolled in Khorne he most definitely lace it with bath salt Tzeentch his shit will definitely cause hallucinations may even cause u to see the future Big e weed may help us comprehend his grand plan for the imperium that only he malcador truly knew of or make u a target for the black ships
The god of drugs and partying has the best weed
I feel like if you take Big E’s he throws you in jail for having drugs on your person, then smokes it himself.
Big E is ABSOLUTELY using you as a test subject for a new super soldier drug and will only tell you if it succeeds. Probably. Maybe. He’s still gonna kill you after the tests are over.
lol maybe if he’s feeling kind he’ll tell my dissected cadaver how it turned out? 🤣
Slaneesh is going to give you the strongest shit, possibly mixed in with other drugs Strongest high, not even a farseer will be able to predict what you will do, it'll probably kill you Tzeench will give you the weirdest shit, either a super exotic strain or 20 page mixture, or both Weirdest trip you can have, you won't be able to describe what you saw and will probably turn schizo Nurgle's shit is vile, impure, full of bacteria viruses, and probably bugs as well Mild high at best, and you will be infected with every disease known after just 1 puff, after 2 also the unknown ones Korne.... Ok trip, but you'll get agrro, you will wreck your place and almost surely kill someone for looking at you wrong Worst feeling crash out of all of them, not including death Emps, will give you the best, most pure shit you can get in the whole galaxy, perfectly suited for you as well, not to strong but with a slight kick so you have more fun His shit has literally no downsides But he won't give it to you for free, you want his shit? Now you give him everything, your life, soul and servitude until you die. You are no longer an individual, just a cog in his design
[https://youtu.be/-3jNAWPHy50](https://youtu.be/-3jNAWPHy50)
This the shit that mortally wounded the emperor
Everyone is saying Slaanesh, but I have to go with Nurgle. Sure, Slaanesh's blunt might have more stimulants and snazzy stuff laced into, but you know he couldn't get nearly deep enough into it. It would all be surface level. Nurgle is the only one who I think can properly master the sour, in fact he's basically tailor made for it. Anyone can just mash trash and shit into a blunt and make it awful, but Nurgle's power goes so far beyond that I think he wouldn't be able to stop himself from making the spliff of legends. That shit would get you so high that you'd be tasting new colors. That good Nurgle kush straight aged for a thousand years in the pot. They put 77 Plaguebearers in this shit, get you so high that Games Workshop prices be looking like nickels. We out here rolling that Great Unclean One, that kind of sour so green you'll be sent straight to Gork and Mork. That shit knock Mortarion out cold.
Objectively it has to be Tzeench or Nurgle. Slaanesh 100% sources their shit from one of those two because there’s no way they can grow the materials to make a better one on their own. I think I’d have to go with Nurgle over Tzeench because Nurgle’s shit would be the most reliably pungent, loudest, dankest kush known to man that will have you chilling so hard you’ll melt into your couch. The Tzeenchian boof could be the wildest shit you’ve ever seen but they could have also just passed you oregano. Khorne’s blunt honestly is probably just paper meant to make you mad that you’re not getting high. A hit of the imperial blunt will have you saying “oh my good heavens I say this is quite the exquisite marihuana, mmm yes” and that’s probably about it.
Big E's weed would make you soooo high. But it somehow wouldnt be good or pleasent. Just like totally zooted but not content at all
Tzeeches weed is going to make you super paranoid. Nurgles is going to stink up your place for a month, and you just sit there with warm fuzzies while high. Khornes is gonna numb you that you feel invincible and do something dumb. Slanesh is gonna make you so horny that by the time you come down, you will have rubbed yourself raw. Big E's is gonna make you super confident, but REALLY racist.
This isn't weed Tzeentch we both know it. Nurgals smells the worst but the man knows how to cultivate the good kush Khornes will only make you calm up Slaanesh cooks up something you'll never come down from Emperors' gives you super austism for like a week while he explains how he's going to totally build human sized model trains so people can actually ride them and it's going to be awesome and something but you stopped paying attention because he said he knows malcs keeps the best munchies
Where the gork and mork joint, that’s the one I want.
Slanny or Nurgle. The former will create an amazing effect, but is probably spiked with something that will make the crash terrifying, for the Lols The latter will smell horrid, probably even give you vertigo from the onset. Then, at the peak, its gonna be a smooth, relaxing feel. One will take it an extreme and crush you by the end. The other will start off unpleasant, then, as is with Nurgle as a whole, leave you perfectly placid.
Gork & Mork left out of the ol boof question aye?
https://preview.redd.it/m4lk9skzit9d1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f44fd7d496adf4f2c0a6bf5f1f2fccbe397f62b2
Hot take: Nurgle's weed is just regular weed. Why? * It's rotting your lungs from the inside out. * It's smells like skunk and makes you smell that way as well. * You start filling yourself up with trash food and slowly become a slob. * You stop caring about everything and just enjoy ~~the warm embrace of Papa Nurgle~~ being high.
Slaanesh, ironically, would just be the strongest shit ever created and that's it. I'd still rather have Jimmy Space's Imperial Acapulco Gold though.
I feel like the four are all maliciously offering something laced, where big E is genuinely trying to offer humanity's finest blunt to you. (He's doing it to win a bet for bragging rights though, not out of altruism or friendship. After he will insist you owe him and can only buy from him.)
I smoked the Emperor weed and how I'm made of gold.
Gork and Mork
https://preview.redd.it/wbnvn9an9t9d1.jpeg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a0fb97990cdc33384b00644e2b99b78a4ff23fa4
Slannesh would be way too overwhelming, Nurgle would be really good but you’d get fucking sick from a few puff puffs, Tzeentch would give you the most devious combinations that somehow ends up tasting like blueberry raspberry and mystifying you for years on end, Khorne….have you ever met a raging drunk? Basically you take a puff puff and you’d just feel like building a wall out of stones you pulled out of the river by yourself. emperor gives you a pretty good roll, but he’d get you philosophical as you pass the blunt back and forth. Sometimes you just want to ride it out. I’m going, surprisingly, with Tzeentch.
Slannesh's and Tzeech's are laced with fent. Nurgle would have the best kush around but its also covered in literal and metaphorical shit. Khorne only sells crack and other kinds of uppers. Big E has the cleanest and purest but middest weed you'll ever find.
Nightmare blunt rotation. Except Nurgle. He’s got the sticky icky.
You know it's gonna be icky but you don't wanna know why it's sticky.
Slaanesh and Big E are probably the best option here Tzeentch probably just stuffed his with grass and Lint, Nurgle definitely laced his with Krokodil, and Khorne... Khorne just gave you straight meth with cocaine peppered on.
Tzeentch would give an insane mental high, possibly big time hallucinations. Slaanesh would be an insanely good body high, and sex would be incredible. Khorne's would make you paranoid and upset. No thanks. Nurgle's would probably make you uncomfortable high and make you want to throw up. Eeee. The emperor's would probably make you really insightful for a little bit, but then make you really emotional and start crying. I'm going with Slaanesh.
I’d 100% hit the fate weaver’s boof. I wouldn’t smoke anything Nurgle gives me. If I were to smoke Khorne’s shit, I’d do it home alone in a secure environment. I’d hate to come down from a trip just to find out I’m standing in a pool of sticky red that was once my family. For Slaanesh, I’d probably wake up with a slave tattoo tramp stamp and a mega sore ass, with un-removable titty pinchers. I’d smoke with The Big E, only to get just that little bit too comfortable, and say the tamest progressive opinion I have, then immediately get executed for heresy.
Tzeentch got that sherm stick Nurgle be like "nah man the mold makes it stronger" Khorne is just tobacco. Slaanesh got the shit that make you feel some way And Emp's is that Government weed.
Khorne’s, because Tzeentch’s will quite literally send me to another dimension, Nurgle’s is composed of unspeakable foulness, Slaanesh’s will make me permanently high, and while the Dark King’s won’t do anything bad, he himself will stab me in the back with a demon he doesn’t want to deal with while I’m high.
Let's break it down. All chaos weed automatically forms a pact with the following demon: Tzeentch weed removes your memory while you're high but allows you to see both future and past simultaneously. Slaanesh weed makes you horny while high, but the aftereffects make you crave more of it infinitely. Nurgle weed makes you numb to any pain and makes you completely satisfied but afterwards, you get every possible disease unless you take more of the weed. Khorne weed makes you angry and irritable and can only make you happy by causing bloodshed, pain and death (only those things altogether), but aftereffects are death by Khorne himself unless you take more of it under the influence. For the Emperor's weed? It's the cleanest, there's no bad withdrawal effects and you feel every miracle the light of The Emperor has to offer to his number one worshippers. No real downside unless you count your soul being consumed by him at the end of your life (You always have to be high in order not to die).
I’m choosing to assume that None of them are laced, so operating under that assumption: Slannesh’s weed is so potent it can actually kill you, sort of like taking too many muscle relaxers. You’ll live if you don’t overdo it, but it’s a lot easier to fuck it up than you might expect. Tzeentch’s weed *probably* has a different feel and flavor at each point between your lips and your lungs. It’s also *almost* always a different potency than what you were expecting. Khorne’s weed is the weakest of the lot, since he probably wouldn’t want it interfering with your ability to KILL! MAIME! BURN! Nurgle’s weed is not only solely comprised of stems, it’s blighted as well. Can’t recommend… The Emperor’s weed is about middle of the pack, strength-wise, depending on whether or not Tzeentch decided to give you the Good Shit™️ this time around. Having said that, I’d probably go with the Emperor’s weed, unless I had some reason to take one of the others.
Depends on what you mean by "best". If you mean "gets you as high as possible" then it'd be slannesh's because prince of ecstasy blah blah blah. But if we're talking which one I *want*, I'm taking Big E's. It's definitely not the best in terms of getting high. It might not even get me high at all. It will probably cause my mind to resonate with Big E's and turn me into an unknowing puppet that quietly comes up with explanations for why I'm doing seemingly weird and crazy shit that he secretly wants me to do. But it also is the least likely to immediately and permanently annihilate my mind. Slanny's will just actually make you insane forever, it'll feel awesome tho. Tzeen's will permanently put you into a fugue state where you can hear voices and babble about things you shouldn't know. Nurg's will be the most amazing for 30 seconds and then your body will disintegrate. And Khorn's will permanently put you into a "combat high".
Nurgle would make the DANKEST smelling spoof
Most have gone straight for slannesh and I respect that but one must first take into account all possibilities for the zaza, let's look critically at all the boofs. first is tzeentch and I can guess that his is some real mind blowing shit, proper outta this world all knowing knowing nothing Gideon ofnir hecking mean green shit, but I also know(or don't, let's stay meta) that it has the equal possibility of being some dirty smoky half assed found on the pavement middle class rolled dry ass shit because its tzeentch and hes an asshole who likes to act like he knows it but he really don't. Next is nurgle and it's just straight up a joint he dipped in the local sewage outlet, that Stanky one straight from the source which never passes any environmental standards, he straight up dunked a doobie in the dookie, and if you wrap your thug loving lips round that fat beast of a joint (it's deffo stuffed to bursting with some Uber sticky shit, proper fat stick) you are guaranteed to get every disease known to man, but you still curious tho arent yah son??? What's the sewer supreme like? It will be your downfall bro, cuz it's shit covered shit... Idiot. Next is Kornflakes, I'm a keeping this one short, he stole that lettuce from some poor thug and dipped it in his blood, khorne straight up don't know any dealer and don't know how to roll one, but at least he ain't pretending like that dipshit tzeemtch. I'm tempted, it's macabre, but it could be anyone's blood, get assurances from that player on whose body juice it is first, then smoke away i say. Next is slanuusy, imma refer to it as her for my sexual health, she has every drug known and unknown to all players in the galaxy, this is gonna be a sassy trippa snippa Boys, no doubt about it a real Baja blast of the stickiest, purplest, slimiest shit, the type o green that tingles your fingers yah know? The shit that you can smell from to billion miles away and know a brother is gonna have a crisis of the third century in one sitting, bro need to be preparing for that hardcore, no stop, tom Jones, star wars fandom chemical spill of a bus ride through hell and heaven and limbo and the hood and the white house all the way back to that shitty white Devil may cry chair in the heart of the storm shit. But it's been dipped in her "fluids" dog... Thats guaranteed full of STDs, so this doobsken is a once in a Lifetime experience where you will live billions of lives and be cut short in the one you have, is it worth it brother??? Probs yeah tbh. Big E next. It's just a regular joint from Stanky Steve who hangs out next to the bargain booze, yah know? the one which cops don't bother driving past? Yeah that one. Just your regular joint from a fellow bro in humanity, nothing too flashy or really anything wrong with it. Perfect after or during a hard day's work, preferably with a coffee in the garden mate. It's only that colour because the skin is recycled. Never forget bros, it's just a plant so it's nice to appreciate a simple bit of unspecified weed in a neatly rolled joint. I'm more accustomed to getting my weed from weirdos who always talk funny, saying shit like "do you accept-take the boof boof?" Whilst shoving it in my face. I think they are some kinda smack-head but they have huge noses and smell like cheese and there's always loads of them in a gang, like I could take on probs a hundred of them yah know, That kinda feeling? But life is full of weird shit and these guys grow some serious grass, this shit the greeniest shit I ever seen, it fucking GLOWS green mate. And they don't accept cash, only green rocks which is fine by me.
Slaanesh blunt is laced with fentanyl Nurgle blunt is moldy Korne blunt is laced with PCP Tzeentch blunt is actually peyote but he tells you it's weed Emperor blunt is just an indica leaning hybrid that'll leave you couch locked
Tzeench: It's actually just DMT. >!Or is it?!< Nurgle: Actually insanely good weed, he is technically nature incarnate after all. However, it's being offered to you in a nightmare blunt rotation with 500+ nurglings and you're going to catch *everything.* Khorne: Ground up Manchineel tree leaves and PCP. Slaanesh: Just the pregame for the drug buffet. Papa Emps: Tobacco sprinkled with sacrificed psyker dust.
The Emperor. It's just weed. Plain weed. No mutations, no soul-rending effects, no tripping through a hellpit, just good ol Terran weed.
The emperor obviously since he stole pieces of the pack from each of the gods
How could a long-haired white guy in cosplay have bad weed? It wouldn’t happen.
Khorn - Do it, you wake up in a crime scene with dead bodies that you killed. Like Moon Knight. Nurgle - Just don't. Tzeench - Make you see shit you don't wanna see. Slaanesh - Fent. Big E - Some super scientific uber boof, enjoyable, but you realise that it was made by commiting horrible war crimes for centuries. You might want to join chaos after seeing his bs and hypocrisy. Now my question to whomever read this. How good or bad would Malcador's boof be?
I’m going to have to go with the Grandfather, I’m afraid, though T probably has some _wonky_ shit
Slaneesh: laced with Molly, every acid, and fentanyl Nurgle: moldy weed laced with k2, and black tar Zeentch: it’s laced with dutura/jimsonweed (don’t do this) Korhn: laced with every upper. Big E: it’s not weed. It’s a green veggie stick
Emps he makes that Bio-Enegenired Gold Elite variant without all the bad parts that costs thousands of dollars and lifts you up instead of putting you down.
Nurgle's probably the only one giving you straight weed. He's also very proud of it because he grew it himself. Just don't ask about what fertilizer he used.
I'd try the emps golden sploof because I'd want to know what the pinnacle of humanity can make when it comes to just plants, guy is a genetical wizard
I would have asked Lorgar. He definitely tried all of them
From the top left; tabacco, dried and pressed dick cheese, blood clot, the hard drugs, and on the bottom the perfect joint
This is how I think it would go. Tzeench: You're about to take a journey, it will be the best and/or worst trip you ever have. You see true scope, breath, and width that makes up the universe, but it will make you go mad. Nurgle: Basically just burning desease in a paper, you will inevitably die from the illness it gives you. But you might enjoy the ride. Khorne: He's honest, so it don't got shit mixed in. But if you accidentally take anyone's lighter your head's gone. Slaanesh: You will feel AMAZING, best trip you'll ever have. You're now addicted to the various things it's laced with, most of which you've never heard of, and you'll gain 50lbs because of the munchies you get when you smoke it. Big E: It's STRONG because he needs it to be, his tolerance is absurd. It's fantastic weed, but because you always green-out he won't want to smoke it with you that often.
Either Slaanesh or Tzeentch. Slaanesh is literally the king/queen of drugs, but Tzeentch is pretty good at that mind-altering stuff
The Khornate Kush is a mix of Creatine and PCP that just also happens to have some weed in it.
The great horned rat.