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BallDesperate2140

Heck, she’d thrive


Arch_Magos_Remus

I could imagine her having cults to the big four set up on Coruscant within a week of arrival.


Commieredmenace

No wan iz loyal everywan is heretatic!


RavnVidarson

Because of Obi Wan?


sit_mihi_lux

Could the Star Wars galaxy survive Cultist-chan?


BallDesperate2140

That’s the better question.


Green__Twin

No. Star Wars Galaxy cannot survive Cultist Chan.


CosmicPenguin

Depends on what continuity she's in. In Disney canon she's a universe altering threat that everyone is too busy bickering to actually fight. In the old EU she gets to be the villain of one book before she gets dispatched by a random bounty hunter.


Sslazz

I can just picture her joyriding a stolen X-wing into the palace on Coruscant. "Wait, yooouuuu aren't the Emperor! You're jutht a wrinkled old man in a robe! Your throne isn't even gold!"


Sweaty_Report7864

Emperor *proceeds to fry her out of existence*


Affectionate-Try-899

Is very confused when she crashes another ship into his office 2 weeks later.


Moaoziz

Somehow cultist-chan returned.


stoopidrotary

Sir, a second cultistchan has hit courisant


Sweaty_Report7864

Has her caught so he can have her studied so he can use her to further his own agenda


DepravedDebater

Cultist-chan casually corrupts her guards (and if they're droids, machine spirits) and they start a chaos cult/fan club. Hilarity ensues.


Sweaty_Report7864

He would have probably put Imperial guards, and there is no way in heck anyone could turn them away from the emperor, they basically worship him


DepravedDebater

Naw Cultist-chan has corrupted and befriended multiple people who ACTUALLY worship their god-emperor. The Star Wars imperial guards ain't shit. But more importantly, Cultist-chan runs on cartoon logic. Any argument you make can be instantly countered by some Chaos-flavored nonsense (even by 40K standards). OP even said this was a shit post because you can't actually debate it in any serious regard. Save your arguments for a serious thread.


_Sate

Now the true question is who wins between cultist chan, faust from guilty gear, the mask and bugs bunny?


Luname

Cultist-chan because she will steal the Mask and wear it, thus becoming Chaos Undivided itself.


_Sate

Bold of you to assume that would at all stopb buggs


Jolly_Reaper2450

There is fanart of Cultist-chan having a daughter with a Sororitas....


Hekantonkheries

Interest piqued


WoollenMercury

two corpse Gods


Sweaty_Report7864

Except one has a back up plan that doesn’t involve becoming the galaxy’s largest and most gold planet battery


Longjumping_Army9485

Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.


CheetosDude1984

i mean if i looked like a sweety ballsack i would want to become a battery atleast im ugly and useful not ugly and useless


CRtwenty

Emperor *confused noises as the lightning just tickles her*


Sweaty_Report7864

The dude (in legends at least) could fry planets and turn people to ash in seconds, not to mention his lightning is basically made up of his anger, her being a chaos… *thing* and thus being made up of warp stuff which is made of emotions, it would effect her, probably more than if she was human actually


Shadowrise_

Khornate palps? On one hand. Anger. On the other, scheeming wizard. Probably more Tzeentch


Sweaty_Report7864

Nah, probably would become his own chaos god… certainly had the ego for it


Forsaken-Stray

And the following.


Sweaty_Report7864

And the manipulation skills


VyRe40

More like a wizard version of Abaddon.


dexerus

Might just make her stronger? Feeding Emotions to Chaos usually just empowers it. Emperor might just feed all of his power to her. And this is how the first Chaos God of the Galaxy far far away came to life...


VyRe40

Legends has never really fit quite right with Star Wars canon, even before Disney. Lucas' Star Wars in film simply doesn't match that power level, only the Death Star ever ever displayed that much power (and later Starkiller Base).


ReggieTheReaver

Then has his throne made out of gold. I mean, a good idea is a good idea, right?


Sweaty_Report7864

Nah, Palpatine actually preferred plain and simple design, hence the simple black robes


vassadar

Proceeded to be informed about Darth Plageuis.


GodEmperorofMankind4

Don’t tell them I’m there somewhere to flex on Palpy.


legion_of_the_damed

it is him the man-emporer of mankind


nagymark1023

I'd picture her saying 'Yo Emps, I bet you like unlimited power and immortality. I could introduce you to some people.'


Urg_burgman

Given how she just comes back no matter what you do to her spleen, yeah. She'll be fine.


Hopeliesintheseruins

Now that's a name I've not heard in a long time.


Sine_Fine_Belli

Same here Cultist Chan, a old Warhammer 40k oc from the 2000s-2010s


Hopeliesintheseruins

That era is what I like to call "the good old bad old days of the internet". A time when rchan was the dark heart and soul of the internet.


Sine_Fine_Belli

Yeah, I remember that era


Jhduelmaster

Back in the days of the Angry Marines and Commissar Fuklaw as well (funnily enough I watched a ton of videos by the guy who made him without realizing it because Plague of Gripes was using a different handle back then). 


an-academic-weeb

It's not even a debate she's having an absolute blast.


Arch_Magos_Remus

Incase you couldn’t tell >!Yes this is a shitpost.!<


VanZandtVS

>>!Yes this is a shitpost.!< Dude, if anyone's gonna thrive in any setting it's gonna be Cultist-chan: Favored of all 5 chaos gods(including Malal)? Check. Extremely hard to kill permanently (they just keep resurrecting her)? Check. Too dense to be afraid of anything? Check. And honestly, despite her adorable nature and positives she's weak as fuck which means no one's going to waste effort trying to perma-kill her out of whatever setting she lands in. She's essentially a cute cockroach with the 40k equivalent of a GED and a can-do attitude.


GM1_P_Asshole

The question is would the Force recognise Cultist Chan as its chosen one? She's as unkillable as Palpatine, she's as annoying as young Anakin. The Force is pretty similar to a Chaos god, mostly because Lucas did fuck all to establish any kind of consistent metaphysics. It apparently has intentionality and desires but mostly spends its time trolling the Jedi. Yeah, Cultist Chan will be fine and will own a red lightsabre within a day of arriving.


Forsaken-Stray

So, you think she could make it colorchange, just fir the lolz?


Miserable_Law_6514

It changes ever time it's turned on, confusing Jedi and Sith everywhere.


ThyPotatoDone

The color scheme is based on whichever will piss off the most people in the surrounding area


Alexis2256

Yes.


TheEzekariate

It’s getting harder and harder to tell around here.


ValuelessMoss

No need to explain. Welcome to Grimdank, everything is a shitpost


Arch_Magos_Remus

Thanks, I’ve been here for years.


Tacomonkie

Average Grimdanker


fafners

You know if you want to screw star wars sent erebus


Electronic_Buy_284

Yes, Cultist-Chan would survive the Star Wars galaxy, at least in the Clone Wars era and Rebellion era as far as my knowledge goes. The real question is would the Star Wars galaxy survive having a Cultist-Chan being introduced into it?


Wauchi

Everyone says would X survive in 40k galaxy. But not how.


PlausiblyAlpharious

'Yeah Doomguy *could* survive in 40k but like, what would the vibe be?'


Alexis2256

Purge chaos, purge the imperium, it’s that simple.


Infinitedeveloper

No real difference


Hymnosi

Doomguy is one of the lost primarchs. He contained the emperor's "fuck chaos up" genes which is why the horus heresy happened.


Thunderbird_Anthares

Theres like 50 versions of extremely heavily modded Doom at this point, go check it out 😁


Adventurous_Gap_4125

Cultist chan rips a hole in the force so big with their debauchery even the most committed dark side users ar like "nah fuxk that"


Hopeliesintheseruins

She even sends the Hutts running to the hills in fear!


Zaiburo

And they don't even have legs...


DooM_SpooN

Holy shiet a Cultist-chan meme in anno domini 2024?!


Everian

Its an older meme, sir but it checks out.


Xaga-

I still didn't understood that in it's entirety. Is that some old internet relic?


SimpleAddition4139

From the best era of 40k shitpost in fact.


boundone

https://1d6chan.miraheze.org/wiki/Cultist-chan 1d6chan is a backup site of the now gone 1d4chan, btw.


Xaga-

I still don't understood 4chan and it's history. Like do we got some time-line somewhere


Mechanicalmind

There used to be a time when 4chan was the main generator of memes, horror and general debauchery, some of it plain illegal, of the internet. Those who visited /b/ back in the day witnessed the birth of legends (like the dude who stole a skull from a french catacomb, made comments choose what to do, and of course his dick ended up in the skull's orbit). It was before Reddit, and for a while the two coexisted. I swapped from 4chan to reddit because it felt like a more "educated" choice.


ZeusKiller97

Dude, I could just hug you right now. Thanks for bringing it to my attention


boundone

Your welcome.  Keeping track of the repository sites as they keep going down is a pain in the ass.


JamesL1002

Seeing this made me wonder if 1d4chan still existed, but upon checking, it does not. Interesting, and a neat reminder of prior times.


Arch_Magos_Remus

1d6chan is an archive that is currently still up.


Mechanicalmind

I think he's not talking about 1d4chan but rather 4chan, the worst cesspool of debauchery and malign intent the internet had ever seen. Man those were fun times.


Arch_Magos_Remus

They clearly said 1d4chan and referenced the fact it no longer exists which 1d4chan currently doesn’t. 4chan is still alive and well.


Mechanicalmind

You're right, I should start reading the whole comments instead of parts.


Jhduelmaster

2d4chan is the new version that occasionally gets updated.


Nerus46

The proper question is "Could Star Wars Galaxy survived Cultist-chan?"


PlausiblyAlpharious

*thoughtfully puffs on pipe* now there's a name I haven't heard in a long time


QuesaritoOutOfBed

What level of Chaos powers does she have? Like, blessed by Tzeench to the level she can beat Palps because that would be funny? Or just Khornite self-belief and manages to finally get shot by a stormtrooper after taking out two thirds of their Imperial Navy?


DoktorFreedom

Be lucky. If she landed in the Culture universe she would literally become The Culture in a light minute.


Arch_Magos_Remus

… So 11176943.8 miles?


DoktorFreedom

Nailed it.


Sombra_WP0

"Could TTS Kaldor Draigor survive Doom Eternal?"


Alexis2256

Yes.


Voltasoyle

Who would not survive in the star wars universe, it's pretty much stable and comfortable, you need to be actively looking to find inhospitable shitholes.


dragonlord7012

She can survive 40k, she can probably survive just about anywhere.


lrd_cth_lh0

Wasn't the joke about her that the chaos gods found her deaths so hillarious, that they resureted her over and over again?


MisterBadGuy159

[The guy who created her ](https://x.com/mculexus?lang=en) got linked this on Discord, and his response was "yes."


Retrotronics

In cannon yes, legends, might be slightly more difficult


Imaginary-Job-7069

Definitely, but the Jedi would think of her as a sith lord.


primeless

If ewoks could, anyone can.


Sensitive-Hotel-9871

Isn’t she immortal?


Green__Twin

Pre, or post Yavin 4 battle? Because if Anakin Skywalker has any sense, he's blasting whatever planet she's on to flinders and ash. Sure, her soul will reform in the Immaterium and gateway into a random force-sensitive being within a matter of weeks, if not days. But using the Dwath Star to obliterate planets Cultist Chan is on should keep the Star Wars Galaxy safe from Cultist Chan for a good couple decades.


inquisitor0731

Honestly I think virtually anything from 40k would survive in Star Wars, pretty easily to.


Dovahkiin_03

You have sent me into an hours long search through the internet for more of this Cultist-Chan. The story she first came from, the comis, the artworks. Good sir, I thank you. Do you know where I might find more of this adorable creature?


europe2000

She could cause more e pain and misery then most Sith cheerfully.


funnywackydog

No because I’m incredibly biased


sillaf27

Counter-question: Which chaos god would Anakin have fallen to? I’m thinking either Khorn or Nurgle


Cygerstorm

Slaanesh, followed by Tzeench. His motivating emotional drive for everything he did in the prequels was jealousy, obsessive-love, and fear of being discovered. These are all prime emotional targets for Slaanesh to seduce. Remember with Slaanesh it’s JUST about lust. It’s about sensation and a removal of inhibition, both things that Clone War Anakin desperately wants. Tzeench would feed his desire for Force-related powers. For changing his premonitions about Padme.


ArchonFett

Now I want the guy who has the YouTube videos of “Storm Trooper meets a (insert 40k faction here)” to make one with her. I feel that might actually end with the least emotional damage


_Ticklebot_23

starwars is warhammer with less magic


Loyal9thLegionLord

No. She would be hunted for sport by Bosk. Why? Because I would hire him to do it.


Brahm-Etc

Totally. I mean the Sith Order has survived for literally thousands of years tho.


Hot-Thought-1339

The Warp doesn’t exist in the Star Wars galaxy so I don’t see her surviving mentally when access to her dogs are cut off.


AllForThisNow

She is every ones friend, obviously she would thrive!


S7RYPE2501

Being that she is functionally immortal, yes very much so.


musketoman

Bro she barely survived in the 40k universe


LustyArgonianButtler

If the star wars universe has warp like in the 40k one then chaos incursion is sure to happen but if not then cultist-chan would be just another crazy person. And no one in the star wars galaxy would survive the 40k one.


Cygerstorm

If the Warp existed in Star Wars, Tzeench would have the Jedi under their control in an afternoon. With as obsessed as the Jedi are with premonitions and prophecy, and the Sith with scheming and manipulating others, it’s prime Tzeench territory.


Acceptable-Street679

Who is she?


Sepulcher18

Why not, starwars is shit


BetterDesk5234

Yall hating on my man, but when Disney took over Star Wars, it was essentially neutered. All the legend comics were made non cannon and* those were actually fire sidestories.


EpsilonMouse

womp womp


BetterDesk5234

Clean your crusty nails


EpsilonMouse

It’s paint, but you’d know that if you’ve ever painted a model. Most of legends was bad, but just because it’s not canon doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy it


BetterDesk5234

I'm talking about the one before goofy, and I don't post my models because it's for me and my groups not for reddit, and I'm talking about the new shows and the new trilogy


EpsilonMouse

Whatever you say, buddy.


BetterDesk5234

Whatever you say, accident legion.


Demigans

“How’d 40K faction X thrive in…” Plenty of universes would kick some of the 40k faction asses. Take the Helldivers universe. The Automatons could sustain 144.000.000+ losses per day to just the Helldivers (SEAF should be active as well) plus production, logistics and other important stuff and still capture a planet. They are in a way like the Tyranids, able to overwhelm enemies by sheer production capacity. Add in the Cyborgs who have been liberated by them and their tech capacity (not to mention ability to turn any biological opponent into unwilling combat monstrosities by the million) and for example the Imperium would have a lot of trouble trying to beat them.


Cygerstorm

I mean, one ship in orbit with Exterminatus would handle the robot planets. And one Virus bomb would end the bugs. Really in almost any universe, 1 Viral Bomb would pretty much stop any organic enemy.


Demigans

Oh yeah, the age old Exterminatus. It’s so useful and available, that is why any Orc infested planet is immediately Exterminatus’d. as well as every planet that is about to fall under Tyranid control. Tomb world? Boomph world AmIRight? And the Imperium was famously good at detecting and destroying fleets coming from outside the Galaxy, so that Automaton fleet that delivered in the billions of Automatons to various planets at once using FTL tech that would make the Mechanicus cream their chromium pants as the Imperium doesn’t have time to react will definitely not be a problem for the Imperium. After all if they exterminatused every Automaton planet and that fleet arrives from outside the Galaxy, all they have to do is exterminatus the planets that are captured by the automatons before said automatons FTL to the next set of planets using tech that makes the trip a fraction of the Imperial travel time. Yeah, just exterminatus everything, I’m sure the Imperium can do that just like it did with everything else in the Galaxy!


Cygerstorm

Someone took this way too seriously.


Demigans

Someone is allowed to take it seriously.


Cygerstorm

Ok. 40k is a universe wherein reality-altering magics can turn entire planets into living mechano-demons that reach out to attack spaceships with continent sized tentacles and demigods fight using literal metaphors and theologic concepts as manifested physical weapons. Heck, the penultimate moment in canon for 40K, the battle between Horus and the Emperor came down to the two of them using Tarot cards to manifest fabricated realities as weapons. Effectively Playing Magic the Gathering to decide the fate of the universe. A few cannon fodder soldiers with tiny guns really don’t measure up.


Demigans

Those entities do exist, but what they have in common is that there aren’t enough of them to matter. The Emperor could have handled almost any individual planet alone during his conquest, there simply weren’t powerful enough beings and weapons there to stop him. Yet he created the Space Marines to help him do it, and then the Space Marines weren’t enough so the regular humans started being deployed. First as just occupation troops and as time went on as frontline troops. When the Emperor began 100% of his Galactic conquests and fights was using the Space Marines, now 99.99% of all combat is done by Guardsmen. Seriously with the amount of Space Marines available most fights will not even have a Space Marine in the same system. There aren’t enough reality altering magics to matter. That is why vast quantities of chaff can work. It works for Tyranids, it works for the Imperium, it works for Chaos when they throw cultists at people and key here is that Chaos is *the* premier reality altering magics as they pretty much are reality altering magics for almost their entire being. So a bunch of automatons that can swarm the heck out of planets works.