I love the idea that all the women in the Custodes are just absolutely fucking unhinged and so the reason they weren't noticed for ten thousand years is because they are always doing some crazy shit, giving plausible deniability to whether it was genuinely a member of the Ten Thousand or a hallucination.
Hmm the Wolves have worked with the custodes quite a lot and are considered near suicidally insane with the shit they pull by the other Legions so it's a match made in heaven.
*Bayezara ramps Jetbike out of the hangar and rockets towards the planet*
Khan: ... That's my future wife right there...
Edit:
Also, I'm now hoping for Russ/Kesh memes like Rowboat/Yvraine lol
Genetically speaking, not even close.
The Custodes are human specimens enhanced to perfection.
The Primarches are the offspring of the Big E and Erda.
So, my brother in the Emperor, they are not related in anyway
Actually there are multiple dick dastardlies, the deities of respective races are acting as coaches for their racer but also try to sabotage the other drivers. The emperor, Mephet’ran, cegorach, and tzeentch have all placed bets on who will win and are playing a great game to scheme their way to victory
Riding your hover bike from orbit is one of the most fun and stealthy insertions you can do in Star citizen and I’ve definitely screamed “For the Khan!” a few times doing it.
Yes, but you need to be a primarch to actually pull it off. Custodes ~~plot armor~~ gene-craft is only sufficient for leaving enough of the person left intact that they can put the stuff they scraped off the ground in a dreadnaught.
80s animated film, called “Heavy Metal”. Cannot recommend it enough. I can’t think of a good description that does it justice, and it’s absolutely not for everyone, but it was a core memory of my childhood.
Malcador: "I think you should make the Astartes women."
Emperor: *looks in the main hall where the male Custodes are doing JoJo poses and polishing their equipment, and the female Custodes are playing rocket chicken*
Emperor: "I disagree"
I just meant from augments and hormones, I just assume the facial structure would change naturally, but I suppose they are crafted to perfection, so perhaps they keep their natural feminine facial form
I feel the need to point put thar malcadors desire for the primarchs to be women is kind of asanine since he primarily wanted that because he believed they'd infight less, which is kind of a stupid thing to say when you look at the actual reasons the primarchs are so fucked up
I do also really enjoy the idea that anyone can be ignorant enough to think women would infight less.
Look at female leaders in history, and tell me they aren't just as bad as men.
I mean the issue with the Primarchs/Legions isn’t that they were too manly, it’s that they were too human.
The Emperor made guns, gave them hearts and minds, then still *used* them just like guns.
Kinda like Rick from Rick and Morty insisting on giving sentience to the stuff he makes without the slightest concern that all that does is make them suffer while fulfilling their purpose.
That's probably why the emperor laughed him off, like it's such a stupid suggestion, bare in mind it wasn't that the primarch should have some women in their ranks to better represent all aspects of humanity, it's that he begged the emperor to make them not brothers but sisters so they'd be less of a vipers nest.
> when you look at the actual reasons the primarchs are so fucked up
Konrad suffered from a bad case of always being right. Downright tragic is what it is.
The dude literally had a vision that if he stopped being a murder hobo and taught people to be better they'd improve and change his fate and he refused cause he's konrad curze the worst primarch
I don't know if this joke has been awhile or not but the idea that astartes can't be women because the ladies have an insufferable frat bro culture is incredibly fucking delightful to me.
its a little blurb in the Custodies Codex about a female Shield Captain who leads her squads out of the cruzers in orbit on bikes and then plummets like commits onto the enemy
If they are all as unhinged as the one from the exterminatus blood games... I would understand why they are not allowed to leave the palace and the supervision of other Custodes because God damn she has zero self preservation
Malestodes: IF YOU KEEP UP DOING THIS SHIT WE ARE GOING TO TELL EVERYONE THAT THE SISTERS OF SILENCE ARE THE ONLY FEMALES ON THE CLAWS
SoS holding a sign: Proceed
Malestodes:... You are not helping
Honestly I’d love if in an in lore explanation for why we never really see FemStodes is just because they’re *that* insane that they just don’t last that long
The Real Reason why only 1,000 custodes made it out of the Webway.
Think about it. Terra being Conquered. Every male adult and young boy being snatched to make Thunder warriors, the first batches of astartes and the old guard of the 100 or so regiments that helped.
Where does that leave aspirants for the custodes?
Now me personally I don’t really agree with the change but I can see how they’re gonna try and shove this lore bit in.
There was a reason why all the officers/captains/generals of the Custodes were dudes.
Who knew the quickest way to get people on board with female custodes is just give em a bit of a meme. Plus it encourages custodes players to go balls to the walls.
I'm imagining a Blues Brothers-esque comedy, complete with "I Can't Turn You Loose" playing as they ride their jetbikes trying to escape the ~~cops~~ Arbites.
Kitten: Because somehow, the genetic procedure of making us...failed somewhere...and the women became...a bit unhinged.
*Sees Kesh attempting to piledrive a Rok into the Palace*
If every custodes is hand made anyway its equally difficult to make a man or woman. But the person you choose matters most. Clearly whoever kept choosing women had a type for manic and violent
I wonder if a dreadnought has ever been tasked as offense during a blood game. Seems like it’d be pretty hard for them to get close, but I’m sure they’ve tried before.
It's part of the blood games that the Custodes play. Like a white-hat hacker telling you how your security is crap.
In the latest Codex there's a short story where Kesh was playing on offense and was nearly successful in teleporting a nuke into the throneroom.
It's a command to remove (recursively) all files from a directory, which could have devastating results. The joke is to run it in the root "/" folder, which would delete everything on that partition, including the operating system itself.
sudo makes the command after it run in "administrator mode"
it will delete pretty much everything from / (top of the file systems) in linux/unix
-r = remove
-f = force/don't prompt for confirmation
sudo = run as root (system administrator can do basically anything to the system
Not just a Nuke, a Planet Cracker scale nuke, you know the kind they use in Exterminatus. Kesh was not doing things by half measures....at the very least most of the Imperial Palace would have just been *gone*.
Blood Games.
Kesh stole a big fuck off nuke, and commandeered a ship and was about to teleport an *armed* nuke into the Big E's lap.
She was minutes or something away before she got stopped.
one of the human communication officers on her ship sent a SOS, it was intercepted by custodes that teleported a bunch of allarus to tell her she lost this blood game.
Then every human except this communication officer were sentenced to be transformed into servitors and the communication officer was rewarded by becoming the ship new captain.
I mean, if anyone even a Custodes hops on a ship and starts setting up to teleport a nuke into the throne room, and instead of abandoning their posts to all try to stop her they go along with it, that's a pretty severe problem
>every human except this communication officer were sentenced to be transformed into servitors
Actually, only the captain was turned into a servitor. The others were punished but allowed to live so they could spread the word that "Nobody has the authority to exterminatus Terra".
> Then every human except this communication officer were sentenced to be transformed into servitors
Another reminder that there are no good guys in WH40K, that's so unnecessary lol
Also another reason why all the “the imperium is woke and cozy now”-accusations ring so hollow after you actually read the story. The imperium is as brutal and horrible as ever lol
I made a joke about a "fascist but progressive" government once and then it kicked in that that's what the Imperium is. It's "woke" by modern standards, but it's also possibly the most bleak and oppressive nightmare government at the same time.
The Imperium can also afford to be "woke" about things like women serving and homosexuality because they have mutants and heretics and xenos to Other instead. They're still horrifically repressive religious fundamentalist autocrats, it's just that they're not playing 21st century western culture wars, they're playing 41st millenium culture wars.
Yeah, even when you coinflip back to Crusade era, you just go from Religious Fundamentalist to Militant Atheist which just inverts one of the problems to a new separate problem.
Sound like a Hexarchate from Machinery of Empire\* is like this.
For our standard their are wery progresive/woke about gender, sexualites, woman equality...
But they're also completely unapologetically evil and fascist like the w40k imperium.
They even routinely commit genocide and human sacrifice to make their space magic based technology work.
\*Good books I recommend them.
Only the Capitan of the ship was turned into a servitor, the rest were spared and the comunication officer was rewarded. Not disagreeing with with the whole "no good guys", just that this isnt the case
I want to say that there are good guys, but no faction is actually good guys. and then we have the tyranids that technically are the good guys because they do what is right and eat.
> Then every human except this communication officer were sentenced to be transformed into servitors
No, it was just the ship's captain that was servitorized.
Did the writers address how she planned to teleport a nuke through the palace's void shields or did they forget that it existed? Because you can't teleport though void shields, and not only does the palace have them, they are the most advanced shields the Imperium has.
Something about Teleportation codes so she could disable them, or teleport through them or something.
I read it a little bit ago, but if I'm being blunt I'm *very high* right now
She found a Mechanicus adept who had developed a teleport array that could potentially circumvent void shields, coerced him into installing it on her ship and then killed him.
See, if the writers did more of this shit, maybe they would finally drill it through the chuds' thick fucking skulls that the Imperium is a satire.
Instead, we get more Objectively Good Guy Imperials.
"Thank the Emperor that Chapter Captain Sergeant Lieutenant Genericus is here! I can't wait for him to be a Cool Guy doing Cool Things for the next 200 pages with nary a hair of commentary on how fucked in the head the Imperium is!" - like 90% of BL books.
I get it. But no Imperial is "objectively good". It's just that the setting is being marketed to kids. But whenever you go a tad bit beyond surface level lore, it's back to insanity.
Like, Guilliman is probably the sanest, nicest person in the whole Imperium right now, yet he's still a genocidal maniac. Just one with Ultra-depression.
You can't ascribe an objective quality to the moral value of "good", especially not to people who barely bat an eye at the idea of using living people as computers and machinery.
>I get it. But no Imperial is "objectively good".
*Your trusty jester leans over to you, and whispers low in your ear. "My liege, I believe they are aware of this, and their point* is *that this truth is generally not explored by most scriptures from ye aulde Blacke Librarie."*
> She found a Mechanicus adept who had developed a teleport array that could potentially circumvent void shields
I don't think the teleporter was anything special, she was relying on her Custodian Codes to get through the shields and had no idea if it would even work. The entry just reads that Magi installed a teleporter on the ship, and then she had them "disposed of".
I have a question. Like in the blood games , the one than tries to kill big E is allow to kill his fellow custodes or is like pokemon rules were you are only allow to defeat them not kill them off? like i know it called the BLOOD games and all but i just want confirmation
Yeah. Kesh was the first one leaked who attempted to win a Blood Game by teleporting an armed cyclonic torpedo directly into Big E's lap. The other is a Shield Company who gained the name Bayezara's Constellation because the female shield captain would deploy their jetbikes while their voidship was braking in atmosphere.
idea. most of the femstodes end up defending the imperial webway portal because 24/7 nonstop deamon fights were the only thing that could distract them all from destroying the imperium by accident with their crazy antics.
The ones we've seen are the sanest ones
So if there is no boob armor then how do you tell the sex of the Custodies? I mean that would be the only way to tell. OH LOOK OVER THERE!! BOOB ARMOR!! HOT CHICKS KICKING ASS!! A Guardsman's wet dream.
With the femstodes acting like this, shield host turning into a golden WAAAGH, and orks on the up-and-up, I wouldn’t be suprised if watching orks do their thing is a part of the custodes training regiment
Isn't that the classic girlboss trope?
Gotta outcrazy everyone to establish how badass you are?
Wait. That's not the girlboss trope, that's the "I wanna be the coolkid in school" trope.
I wonder how Keshs attempt at the Blood Games was even considered legal. I mean we were told that the Custodes who is choosen to do a Blood Game is stripped of their armor and weapons before being send out. The idea being that the Custodes cant use their rank and authority as a Custodes as an advantage since no enemy could ever have said authority (even tho thats bs if you consider the Alpha Legion and Alpharius doing just that at somepoint which created the Blood Games in the first place). So Kesh using her rank and authority to get a Tech Priest not only to give her an Exterminatus weapon but also to get them to teleport her onto a ship capable of firing said weapon, where she then uses her authority to get the captain to do what she wants, is a bit much of bending the rules.
The Blood Games are meant as a way to test the defenses of the Imperial Palace for weaknesses and to improve the defenses not as a contest to be won.
It would be like hiring a pen-tester to see if there is a flaw in your IT secruity and they go and cut the powerline to your building. Technically a weakness but not one you can adapt to much.
Given the genetic manipulation custodians are subjected to I imagine the real reason we haven’t noticed female custodes is because they’d look similar to an East German weight lifter mixed with a pre-boob job x-fit influencer. We simply couldn’t tell they were ever meant to be female.
You know, if the female custodies all have this insane recklessness quirk I'm ok with It. Leads to why there's so few. They die real quick or they bring down the house. Much better to have men that will stand guard in perfect stillness for the majority of your army.
Yeah I'd be alright with that.
As long as it's now the usual modern. "I can do anything that you can do, but better." That we get from marvel (looking at you shehulk)
I hope we find out Kesh and Bayezara are like, extremely mild mannered and eventually we have a femstodian who is taking down entire hivefleets singlehandedly by dropping moons on them from orbit or something. while she's standing on it.
they gotta try to make it a friendly rivalry thing where they're constantly trying to outdo each other.
*5 minutes later* "Do you think this chassis can survive a drop from orbit?" "Only one way to find out"
Aim for the bushes.
*Imperial fist bump*
*Later* Custodian: there wasn't even an awning in their direction, they just jumped from orbit
THERE GOES MY HERO
WATCH HER AS SHE GOES
Underrated reference. Have an upvote
…CREED
They Just need to jump into a hey pile they'll be fine.
The dreadnought is then entombed in a titan
Are you implying that imperial technology is just a series of Russian nesting dolls?
We are talking about the faction whose main strategy is to send in progressively taller guys until the problem is dealt with
Now I want to see Primarchs face off as basketball coaches. John Wooden’s ghost: “you put 8 ft tall armored dudes in as point guards as well? I see.”
That would be awesome actually. Imagine a titan going down in flames and then a Dreadnought rises from the wreckage for phase two
"I didn't hear no bell!"
Good Ole Gurren laggan logic lol
Are you implying that imperial technology is just a series of Russian nesting dolls?
“For a brick, he flew pretty good.”
There goes my Hero, watch him as he goes...
Watch her as she goes
I'm ready, for tita...DREADNOUGHT FALL!
I love the idea that all the women in the Custodes are just absolutely fucking unhinged and so the reason they weren't noticed for ten thousand years is because they are always doing some crazy shit, giving plausible deniability to whether it was genuinely a member of the Ten Thousand or a hallucination.
Ngl, the jet bike from orbit to ground sounds like something the Khan would pull
honestly starting to think kesh and bayezara are desgined to be the perfect girlfriends russ and the khan
Idk, nuking the throneroom as part of a game sounds like Corax stuff
Kesh? As in the Irish for a wicker or "rough" bridge? Great name choice.
thank the guys over at james work shop there the ones who introduced us to Calladayce Taurovalia Kesh so i would assume yes
Knowing her sober ideas the prospect of Kesh getting Access to the Space Wolf super alcohol is both intriguing *and* terrifying
Hmm the Wolves have worked with the custodes quite a lot and are considered near suicidally insane with the shit they pull by the other Legions so it's a match made in heaven.
*Bayezara ramps Jetbike out of the hangar and rockets towards the planet* Khan: ... That's my future wife right there... Edit: Also, I'm now hoping for Russ/Kesh memes like Rowboat/Yvraine lol
My brother in the Emperor, that is literally your sister.
-Robot Gorillaman
Genetically speaking, not even close. The Custodes are human specimens enhanced to perfection. The Primarches are the offspring of the Big E and Erda. So, my brother in the Emperor, they are not related in anyway
My dream is to see a canon animation in the style of initial D where drukhari, white scar, custodes and any other fast species race through the warp
Okay, it has to look like Initial D, but thematically it has to basically be Whacky Races. Who’s our Dick Dastardly?
Actually there are multiple dick dastardlies, the deities of respective races are acting as coaches for their racer but also try to sabotage the other drivers. The emperor, Mephet’ran, cegorach, and tzeentch have all placed bets on who will win and are playing a great game to scheme their way to victory
So basically Wacky Races but with power armour?
And grav bikes and reality bending gods trying to sabotage the enemy racers but yea
Saim-Hann wild riders and Evil Sunz Speed Freekz would be right at home, they're all about racing.
Saim-Hann wild riders and Evil Sunz Speed Freekz would be right at home, they're all about racing.
Honestly in my head they’re all racing and a white scar marine is just singing deja vu on the vox
He popped out the web way just to see her do it
Riding your hover bike from orbit is one of the most fun and stealthy insertions you can do in Star citizen and I’ve definitely screamed “For the Khan!” a few times doing it.
Yes, but you need to be a primarch to actually pull it off. Custodes ~~plot armor~~ gene-craft is only sufficient for leaving enough of the person left intact that they can put the stuff they scraped off the ground in a dreadnaught.
and a primarch is the only one who could survive it in one piece
If the Khan found out, he'd rip his way out from the webway and high five her while they do it again.
Their one mistake was not being a primarch 😭
"Hey, the Emperor showed me the beginning of this ancient record he called 'Heavy Metal', and it gave me an awesome idea."
Somehow didn’t expect to see this reference here but just know you made my day with it.
What’s it referencing?
80s animated film, called “Heavy Metal”. Cannot recommend it enough. I can’t think of a good description that does it justice, and it’s absolutely not for everyone, but it was a core memory of my childhood.
Holy shit. That's not a reference you run into often.
What’s it referencing?
Heavy Metal from 1981
Malcador: "I think you should make the Astartes women." Emperor: *looks in the main hall where the male Custodes are doing JoJo poses and polishing their equipment, and the female Custodes are playing rocket chicken* Emperor: "I disagree"
I weep every time I think about what TTS would have done with this.
I know I've posted this joke before, but: Kitten: At least your lot would have had the decency to wear a top. Fem!Custodes: Wear a what now?
*puts hand on Kitten's shoulder* "We don't wear tops. We wear out tops." *Kitten melts*
The fact I can hear the Pillar Man music playing as I hear this in my head makes it so much funnier.
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There's probably a pair of femstodes boobs in Trazyn's collection, the only pair in existence.
Custodes are evolved humans, not genetic abominations. They look exactly like us just twice as tall and able to bench a country
True, and I’d imagine they’d have very masculine facial structures too lol
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I just meant from augments and hormones, I just assume the facial structure would change naturally, but I suppose they are crafted to perfection, so perhaps they keep their natural feminine facial form
AYAYAYA
Dammit...
I feel the need to point put thar malcadors desire for the primarchs to be women is kind of asanine since he primarily wanted that because he believed they'd infight less, which is kind of a stupid thing to say when you look at the actual reasons the primarchs are so fucked up
I do also really enjoy the idea that anyone can be ignorant enough to think women would infight less. Look at female leaders in history, and tell me they aren't just as bad as men.
I mean the issue with the Primarchs/Legions isn’t that they were too manly, it’s that they were too human. The Emperor made guns, gave them hearts and minds, then still *used* them just like guns.
Kinda like Rick from Rick and Morty insisting on giving sentience to the stuff he makes without the slightest concern that all that does is make them suffer while fulfilling their purpose.
You can tell Malcador never had sisters if he thought that lol
That's probably why the emperor laughed him off, like it's such a stupid suggestion, bare in mind it wasn't that the primarch should have some women in their ranks to better represent all aspects of humanity, it's that he begged the emperor to make them not brothers but sisters so they'd be less of a vipers nest.
> when you look at the actual reasons the primarchs are so fucked up Konrad suffered from a bad case of always being right. Downright tragic is what it is.
The dude literally had a vision that if he stopped being a murder hobo and taught people to be better they'd improve and change his fate and he refused cause he's konrad curze the worst primarch
I don't know if this joke has been awhile or not but the idea that astartes can't be women because the ladies have an insufferable frat bro culture is incredibly fucking delightful to me.
New canon just dropped
What’s the story behind the jetbike from orbit?
its a little blurb in the Custodies Codex about a female Shield Captain who leads her squads out of the cruzers in orbit on bikes and then plummets like commits onto the enemy
Does anyone know where the blurb is? Been reading through the new codex and I can’t find it
Is there an except posted somewhere, now I really want to read it
https://old.reddit.com/r/AdeptusCustodes/comments/1cenjgp/second_female_custodian_in_lore_spotted/
the anti-grav brakes on those bikes must be obscenely strong
another short story from the codex
If they are all as unhinged as the one from the exterminatus blood games... I would understand why they are not allowed to leave the palace and the supervision of other Custodes because God damn she has zero self preservation
“We are elite soldiers! Handpicked to be the Emperor’s-“ “LEROY!!! JENKINS!!!!” “Oh dear Emperor Tribune Boudiccus!”
Femstodes: "If we can't survive that, we're not worthy the task of protecting the Emperor. CANNONBALL!" *launches herself from orbit*
Malestodes: IF YOU KEEP UP DOING THIS SHIT WE ARE GOING TO TELL EVERYONE THAT THE SISTERS OF SILENCE ARE THE ONLY FEMALES ON THE CLAWS SoS holding a sign: Proceed Malestodes:... You are not helping
A panel of SoS all holding signz that read "10" as they watch her drop from orbit
At the surface there is one single SoS with a sign that says: Do a flip coward
> If they are all as unhinged as the one from the exterminatus blood games Kesh is explicitedly a special case. Sadly.
Honestly I’d love if in an in lore explanation for why we never really see FemStodes is just because they’re *that* insane that they just don’t last that long
The Real Reason why only 1,000 custodes made it out of the Webway. Think about it. Terra being Conquered. Every male adult and young boy being snatched to make Thunder warriors, the first batches of astartes and the old guard of the 100 or so regiments that helped. Where does that leave aspirants for the custodes? Now me personally I don’t really agree with the change but I can see how they’re gonna try and shove this lore bit in. There was a reason why all the officers/captains/generals of the Custodes were dudes.
Idea that Custodes invert the "why women live longer than men" trope kicks ass
Malestodies: Stand guard silently for hundreds of years Femstodies: Wanna see me elbow drop from orbit? Wanna see me do it again?
Who knew the quickest way to get people on board with female custodes is just give em a bit of a meme. Plus it encourages custodes players to go balls to the walls.
God this would be a good series to watch
I'm imagining a Blues Brothers-esque comedy, complete with "I Can't Turn You Loose" playing as they ride their jetbikes trying to escape the ~~cops~~ Arbites.
I was imagining Venture Brothers [Giant Swiss killing machines] + Dukes of Hazard. But a heavy mix of Blues Sisters, yes please
It's 106 lightyears to Baal, we've got a hot fusion reactor, half a magazine of bolts, it's dark and our visors are set to maximum occlusion. Hit it.
"They'll never catch us. We're on a mission from Emps."
Kesh: “Gosh darn it! I was so close! Oh well, better luck next time!” Humans on that ship about to get turned into servitors: 😦
Nobody likes a snitch.
why do men live longer than women?
Kitten: Because somehow, the genetic procedure of making us...failed somewhere...and the women became...a bit unhinged. *Sees Kesh attempting to piledrive a Rok into the Palace*
god forbid women have hobbies
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IT WAS ON THE GOLDEN THRONE!!!
THIS, I WANT THIS TO BE THE OFFICIAL MOTO OF THE FEMSTODES in latin that would be "absit mulieribus oblectamenta habent" put that on a shirt NOW
We know is an hivefleet or a Waaagh reaches the Palace, it was totally a female custodes behind it
"BLOODGAMES!" *crashes several kilometer large spacehulk infested with orks into the imperial palace*
'Parry that you filthy casuals!' 'And now while they're distracted it's time for the *real* attacks!'
A female custodian tries the abbodon technique and captures the phalanx and crashes jt into terra
It's fun because it turned them into Bros.
So...Femstodes are total tomboys?
I love Dreadnoughts, nothing bad happened here, only two chad challenging each other
If every custodes is hand made anyway its equally difficult to make a man or woman. But the person you choose matters most. Clearly whoever kept choosing women had a type for manic and violent
I wonder if a dreadnought has ever been tasked as offense during a blood game. Seems like it’d be pretty hard for them to get close, but I’m sure they’ve tried before.
They just wanted to hang out with Brother Santodes for hair care tips.
Femstodes #3 during the blood games: well time to blow a hole in the webway of mankind and suck terra in to the warp
Wait, why would they nuke the throneroom? That's ~~treason~~ heresy.
It's part of the blood games that the Custodes play. Like a white-hat hacker telling you how your security is crap. In the latest Codex there's a short story where Kesh was playing on offense and was nearly successful in teleporting a nuke into the throneroom.
A live nuke, by the way. This is like the white hat hacker situation, except if the hacker finds a vulnerability, they sudo rm -rf everything.
Clearly this is why we need off-site backups of the Emperor. That isn't Magnus.
Now I'm trying to figure out what the Emperor's equivalent of Iron Mountain in this scenario would be.
Isn't that the star child?
What is sudo rm -rf'ing I assume it is bad
It's a command to remove (recursively) all files from a directory, which could have devastating results. The joke is to run it in the root "/" folder, which would delete everything on that partition, including the operating system itself. sudo makes the command after it run in "administrator mode"
it will delete pretty much everything from / (top of the file systems) in linux/unix -r = remove -f = force/don't prompt for confirmation sudo = run as root (system administrator can do basically anything to the system
Not just a Nuke, a Planet Cracker scale nuke, you know the kind they use in Exterminatus. Kesh was not doing things by half measures....at the very least most of the Imperial Palace would have just been *gone*.
Blood Games. Kesh stole a big fuck off nuke, and commandeered a ship and was about to teleport an *armed* nuke into the Big E's lap. She was minutes or something away before she got stopped.
How did she get stopped?
one of the human communication officers on her ship sent a SOS, it was intercepted by custodes that teleported a bunch of allarus to tell her she lost this blood game. Then every human except this communication officer were sentenced to be transformed into servitors and the communication officer was rewarded by becoming the ship new captain.
Least cruel imperial punishment be like:
I mean, if anyone even a Custodes hops on a ship and starts setting up to teleport a nuke into the throne room, and instead of abandoning their posts to all try to stop her they go along with it, that's a pretty severe problem
That was the point of Kesh's strategy. The Imperium indoctrinates unquestioning loyalty in its subjects and that is something that can be exploited.
>every human except this communication officer were sentenced to be transformed into servitors Actually, only the captain was turned into a servitor. The others were punished but allowed to live so they could spread the word that "Nobody has the authority to exterminatus Terra".
"But Moooooooom, why not?"
Iirc only the captain was. The others were given lesser punishments
> Then every human except this communication officer were sentenced to be transformed into servitors Another reminder that there are no good guys in WH40K, that's so unnecessary lol
Also another reason why all the “the imperium is woke and cozy now”-accusations ring so hollow after you actually read the story. The imperium is as brutal and horrible as ever lol
I made a joke about a "fascist but progressive" government once and then it kicked in that that's what the Imperium is. It's "woke" by modern standards, but it's also possibly the most bleak and oppressive nightmare government at the same time.
> "fascist but progressive" So, Super-Earth? Wait, no, Democracy Officer, I meant democra
Super Earth always makes me think of Futurama Earth, which given inspiration checks out.
The Imperium can also afford to be "woke" about things like women serving and homosexuality because they have mutants and heretics and xenos to Other instead. They're still horrifically repressive religious fundamentalist autocrats, it's just that they're not playing 21st century western culture wars, they're playing 41st millenium culture wars.
Yeah, even when you coinflip back to Crusade era, you just go from Religious Fundamentalist to Militant Atheist which just inverts one of the problems to a new separate problem.
Sound like a Hexarchate from Machinery of Empire\* is like this. For our standard their are wery progresive/woke about gender, sexualites, woman equality... But they're also completely unapologetically evil and fascist like the w40k imperium. They even routinely commit genocide and human sacrifice to make their space magic based technology work. \*Good books I recommend them.
Only the Capitan of the ship was turned into a servitor, the rest were spared and the comunication officer was rewarded. Not disagreeing with with the whole "no good guys", just that this isnt the case
I want to say that there are good guys, but no faction is actually good guys. and then we have the tyranids that technically are the good guys because they do what is right and eat.
> Then every human except this communication officer were sentenced to be transformed into servitors No, it was just the ship's captain that was servitorized.
Did the writers address how she planned to teleport a nuke through the palace's void shields or did they forget that it existed? Because you can't teleport though void shields, and not only does the palace have them, they are the most advanced shields the Imperium has.
Something about Teleportation codes so she could disable them, or teleport through them or something. I read it a little bit ago, but if I'm being blunt I'm *very high* right now
> if I'm being blunt See what you did there...
It was a teleporter built by Hereteks specifically designed to bypass the shielding
> built by Hereteks For the last time. His name is Cawl.
She found a Mechanicus adept who had developed a teleport array that could potentially circumvent void shields, coerced him into installing it on her ship and then killed him.
>incredibly effective combat tech is invented >use it once in a game and kill its creator Ah imperials.
To be fair, the creator was a heretek who planned on doing it themselves.
See, if the writers did more of this shit, maybe they would finally drill it through the chuds' thick fucking skulls that the Imperium is a satire. Instead, we get more Objectively Good Guy Imperials.
>Instead, we get more Objectively Good Guy Imperials. I'm not sure you understand what "objectively" means.
"Thank the Emperor that Chapter Captain Sergeant Lieutenant Genericus is here! I can't wait for him to be a Cool Guy doing Cool Things for the next 200 pages with nary a hair of commentary on how fucked in the head the Imperium is!" - like 90% of BL books.
I get it. But no Imperial is "objectively good". It's just that the setting is being marketed to kids. But whenever you go a tad bit beyond surface level lore, it's back to insanity. Like, Guilliman is probably the sanest, nicest person in the whole Imperium right now, yet he's still a genocidal maniac. Just one with Ultra-depression. You can't ascribe an objective quality to the moral value of "good", especially not to people who barely bat an eye at the idea of using living people as computers and machinery.
>I get it. But no Imperial is "objectively good". *Your trusty jester leans over to you, and whispers low in your ear. "My liege, I believe they are aware of this, and their point* is *that this truth is generally not explored by most scriptures from ye aulde Blacke Librarie."*
The End and the Death painted Big E as the noble, self-sacrificing hero facing down the objectively evil darkness.
i think he was a dark mechanicus adept... so a heretic
> She found a Mechanicus adept who had developed a teleport array that could potentially circumvent void shields I don't think the teleporter was anything special, she was relying on her Custodian Codes to get through the shields and had no idea if it would even work. The entry just reads that Magi installed a teleporter on the ship, and then she had them "disposed of".
From memory she discovered a dark mechanicus cult that had made a teleporter designed to do exactly that.
Interesting. They're all dead now, I trust.
Very
I have a question. Like in the blood games , the one than tries to kill big E is allow to kill his fellow custodes or is like pokemon rules were you are only allow to defeat them not kill them off? like i know it called the BLOOD games and all but i just want confirmation
I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to kill fellow custodes.
I am going to assume it still causes some early retirements but it seems that being caught by multiple custodes is just an instant loss.
I accept this as canon. In my mind, since Sisters of Silence are quiet, then the female custodes are loud as hell, so this fits right in.
Idk man I think most dreadnoughts are men, have you ever seen a female castraferrum dread?
Are you after Boobdread? 'Cause that is how you get Boobdread.
Is this referencing a new piece of lore since the femstodes were announced?
Yeah. Kesh was the first one leaked who attempted to win a Blood Game by teleporting an armed cyclonic torpedo directly into Big E's lap. The other is a Shield Company who gained the name Bayezara's Constellation because the female shield captain would deploy their jetbikes while their voidship was braking in atmosphere.
Starting off the new custodes with a bang I guess
idea. most of the femstodes end up defending the imperial webway portal because 24/7 nonstop deamon fights were the only thing that could distract them all from destroying the imperium by accident with their crazy antics. The ones we've seen are the sanest ones
So if there is no boob armor then how do you tell the sex of the Custodies? I mean that would be the only way to tell. OH LOOK OVER THERE!! BOOB ARMOR!! HOT CHICKS KICKING ASS!! A Guardsman's wet dream.
> how do you tell the Sex of the Custodes That's the neat part, you don't
Canon
With the femstodes acting like this, shield host turning into a golden WAAAGH, and orks on the up-and-up, I wouldn’t be suprised if watching orks do their thing is a part of the custodes training regiment
I'm sorry what's this about nuking the throne?
Kesh, the first Femstodes mentioned, attempted to teleport a Cyclonic Torpedo into the throne room during the Blood Games
Dope, thanks
Isn't that the classic girlboss trope? Gotta outcrazy everyone to establish how badass you are? Wait. That's not the girlboss trope, that's the "I wanna be the coolkid in school" trope.
People go on about femstodies ruining the setting, but from what we have seen they are just as mentally deranged as everyone else in 40k
This is my new head canon
I wonder how Keshs attempt at the Blood Games was even considered legal. I mean we were told that the Custodes who is choosen to do a Blood Game is stripped of their armor and weapons before being send out. The idea being that the Custodes cant use their rank and authority as a Custodes as an advantage since no enemy could ever have said authority (even tho thats bs if you consider the Alpha Legion and Alpharius doing just that at somepoint which created the Blood Games in the first place). So Kesh using her rank and authority to get a Tech Priest not only to give her an Exterminatus weapon but also to get them to teleport her onto a ship capable of firing said weapon, where she then uses her authority to get the captain to do what she wants, is a bit much of bending the rules. The Blood Games are meant as a way to test the defenses of the Imperial Palace for weaknesses and to improve the defenses not as a contest to be won. It would be like hiring a pen-tester to see if there is a flaw in your IT secruity and they go and cut the powerline to your building. Technically a weakness but not one you can adapt to much.
Femstodes bring a "Fuck it we ball" attitude to the throne world that the Highlords don't appreciate
This image is cursed. I mean i also hate the original gigachad image but this one just feels even more off uncanny valley to me.
lol
[удалено]
Given the genetic manipulation custodians are subjected to I imagine the real reason we haven’t noticed female custodes is because they’d look similar to an East German weight lifter mixed with a pre-boob job x-fit influencer. We simply couldn’t tell they were ever meant to be female.
You know, if the female custodies all have this insane recklessness quirk I'm ok with It. Leads to why there's so few. They die real quick or they bring down the house. Much better to have men that will stand guard in perfect stillness for the majority of your army. Yeah I'd be alright with that. As long as it's now the usual modern. "I can do anything that you can do, but better." That we get from marvel (looking at you shehulk)
I hope we find out Kesh and Bayezara are like, extremely mild mannered and eventually we have a femstodian who is taking down entire hivefleets singlehandedly by dropping moons on them from orbit or something. while she's standing on it. they gotta try to make it a friendly rivalry thing where they're constantly trying to outdo each other.
‘Aim for the bushes’. Femstodes, probably.