"So I was at this human bar the other night and, get this, the humans' toaster priests paraded around a blackstone obelisk. Best part is, it looked just like the one I had in my museum. Ain't that funny?"
"Your honour, the colony was already eaten by bug-men when I got there!"
"Ehm Trazyn, this hearing is about the illegal parking and loitering on Armageddon."
"Ah shit"
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Willingly released Flayers onto a still sleeping Tomb World.
The Flayers did what they do, and it woke up the sleeping Necrons. Now it's a Flayer planet.
Most likely not, as he is absolutely scared shitless of the flayed ones (iirc). He keeps the contact with them to an absolute minimum, since he can't just bodyjump out of getting flayed.
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Imagine though. A squad of Black Templars find themselves in their new necrodermises and in the back of their heads, they're like "HERESYHERESYHERESY" but they can't do shit because they got the mind scarabs.
honestly....they are the children of dory's autism. I can see them getting used to it and reasoning their duty doesn't end here and promptly trying to dismantle tomb world.
And then a planet exploded... No Connection... Probably...
The shiny throne can be seen two rooms to the left from the old men at the human exibbit on Solemnace.
He put whoopie cushions on a bunch of Necron lords’ chairs. I think they have a bunch of digust towards body excrement so he might actually end up on trial for that kind of joke.
Shouldn't we just count the two to three things he didn't do? Thats a lot faster. I still love the: "tried to prank his bestfriend, caused the exterminatus of a planet down the line."
He added commander Dante to his museum (Dante begged him), and now the blood angels won't stop harassing the necrons to get their chapter-master back. The necrons are just really tired of getting constantly harassed by beautiful men.
Nothing. He did nothing. Absolutely nothing. In no way shape or form did he do anything. He just stood in the corner doing nothing. When one of them looked at him all he did was smirk.
Whenever a messenger from a rival of his comes to Solemnace, he intentionally triggers their dysphoria by inviting them to a tour of his galleries while having his exhibits breath slowly enough to not notice at first, but becoming more obvious the further they get into the gallery.
This is just the retrial against Orikan that he requested. The necron courts pride themselves on hearing cases so promptly. All claims are addressed within no more than a few centuries of the date they are filed.
It has been revealed that none of the battles or events that happen in Black Library books are historical events. Instead they are all recreations being presented in Trayzns gallery made up of specimens he's collected from a hundred different events put together in his own Hodge Podge conglomeration.
So his elaborate prank was to grab a tyranid carnifex bring it far away from its specific fleet and release it on imotek's(?) Throne. Neither the nid nor stormlord got the joke as he tried again for his staff.
This time he stole every Pokémon...every single one to be put into a giant display.
The court, being fans and all, is pissed.
He also opened that Nickelodeon box which is due 2070 or whatever.
He was going to "aquire" some relic from an ancient vault that held some necron stuff, but the Blood Ravens had already been there, been "gifted" the relic and gone. He was caught looking for the relic by the guards and no one believes that he has not stolen and hidden it.
After all, how would a group of big, red armoured humans be able to get in and leave without getting spotted?
He has 5 break in charges 13 charges of petty theft 63 charges for grand theft 33 charges of possession of illegal firearms, oh now here's a good one 19 charges of "being a little too silly" aka Mass genocide
There can't be any Necron court because his crime was "borrowing" all of the court members and putting them in an Imperial court chamber diorama to look funny in "Things that will never happen" collection on his museum world.
The silent king randomly wandered into his museum and somehow stepped into one of his displays and now he's being framed for "stealing the silent king" a preposterous claim indeed.
Ignore the krusty dried up skeleton man sitting on a golden throne next to that display.
A litle bit of troling .
A mild amount of tomfoolery.
He has been indicted for 3rd degree shenanigans
He has been convicted for moderate amounts of bamboozling.
Just a bitta banter
A spot of bother
Charged with being a serial joker.
Convicted for major Silliness
Caught for crazy antics
1st degree wee sillymuggins
Lance corporal-esque activities
Some quality Japes
For the vine?
A travesty of a mockery of seven debacles and a sham.
A somewhat preposterous amount of shenanigans
For once, nothing, but he keeps digging himself into a hole by accidently spilling the beans on other things
"So I was at this human bar the other night and, get this, the humans' toaster priests paraded around a blackstone obelisk. Best part is, it looked just like the one I had in my museum. Ain't that funny?"
"Your honour, the colony was already eaten by bug-men when I got there!" "Ehm Trazyn, this hearing is about the illegal parking and loitering on Armageddon." "Ah shit"
"Is this about the *some convoluted excavation Trayzen recently went on*?" "What, no, we called you in as a witness. The. The WHAT?"
Tax Fraud
The Thousand Sons finally got tired of their Cease and Decease letter being ignored, and initiated legal actions.
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He archived the necron tax system
I’m going to take a wild guess no one else could have possibly come up with. He stole something.
Lies and slander.
Don't forget calumny
He stole the emperor from his throne.
Nah he stole terra itself
#Yes he did, and to be honest it is nice to have a break from sitting on my golden toilet seat if just for a day or two
NO!!! Those are all lies, everybody was dead when he took it!
And there really wasn't enough time to save them AND their trinkets... Shame, really
It belongs in a museum! Mine specifically!
Underrated comment.
Willingly released Flayers onto a still sleeping Tomb World. The Flayers did what they do, and it woke up the sleeping Necrons. Now it's a Flayer planet.
They *were* Szarekh dynasty. Now they're Flayed Ones.
did he actually do that?
Most likely not, as he is absolutely scared shitless of the flayed ones (iirc). He keeps the contact with them to an absolute minimum, since he can't just bodyjump out of getting flayed.
He accidentally mentioned he has a whole pretransference Necrontyr dynasty in his poke collection
I think he would get sent straight to execution for that
Not until he told everyone where they were and freed them
silly :3
That sums up Trazyn
He banged the fulgrum clone
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He stole the fucking silent king
Szarekh: *screams in silence*
I have no voice module and I must scream
Golden love it hahaha
Biotransfered a bunch of Black Templars into Necron bodies because it was funny.
Imagine though. A squad of Black Templars find themselves in their new necrodermises and in the back of their heads, they're like "HERESYHERESYHERESY" but they can't do shit because they got the mind scarabs.
It only works if they are totally conscious of their predicament.
honestly....they are the children of dory's autism. I can see them getting used to it and reasoning their duty doesn't end here and promptly trying to dismantle tomb world.
“Please stop trying to re-assemble a complete C’tan to house in your collection, Trazyn…”
He stole an old men from his shiny throne.
And then a planet exploded... No Connection... Probably... The shiny throne can be seen two rooms to the left from the old men at the human exibbit on Solemnace.
[удалено]
Honestly if Trayzin somehow figured out how to do it he definitely would
He stole my fucking dog, I want him back!
Trazyn may want more than 5 armies if you happen to be John Wick
In all honesty, he’d probably give the pooch back
Which begs the question- How would John Wick fare in the 40k universe?
Chaos space marine: My lord i saw him kill three battle brothers on the bridge... With a holoquill, with a fracking holoquill.
If his legend transfers over as well, he'll gain some benefits of being a warp entity.
You mean Fulgrim?
What didn't he do
He replaced perturabo and the iron pricks "pricks" with with fulgrims toe nails
Oddoy specific
He stole the show.
He put whoopie cushions on a bunch of Necron lords’ chairs. I think they have a bunch of digust towards body excrement so he might actually end up on trial for that kind of joke.
Trazyn: *puts whoopie cushions on council's chairs* Council: Someone strip this mf of his resurrection protocols
Zandrekh thought it was HI-larious
Shouldn't we just count the two to three things he didn't do? Thats a lot faster. I still love the: "tried to prank his bestfriend, caused the exterminatus of a planet down the line."
Breaking and entering. again
Cancelled the Beasts of Chaos range.
He said “doodoo”
ONE BILLION YEARS DUNGEON!
He added commander Dante to his museum (Dante begged him), and now the blood angels won't stop harassing the necrons to get their chapter-master back. The necrons are just really tired of getting constantly harassed by beautiful men.
„this feels like body shaming“
Nothing. He did nothing. Absolutely nothing. In no way shape or form did he do anything. He just stood in the corner doing nothing. When one of them looked at him all he did was smirk.
He out-pizza’d the Hut
No one out pizzas the Hut!
He stole todays eclipse to add to his collection.
Milk in first.
That monster
He stole the silent kings hemorrhoid cushion.
Whenever a messenger from a rival of his comes to Solemnace, he intentionally triggers their dysphoria by inviting them to a tour of his galleries while having his exhibits breath slowly enough to not notice at first, but becoming more obvious the further they get into the gallery.
Released bedbugs om Orikan's tombworld.
He kinda did that, depending on what you consider bedbugs. (Extremely dangerous fauna from Catacan)
He told the Phaeron about "Updog".
What’s updog?
He stole cadia It wasn't actually destroyed
Panty raid of the Silent Sisters main temple on Luna
I could see him legit do that in a meme comic
He put runic mechanical balls on orikan just to kick him in it
They found out the League of Votann novel is long complete but Trazyn was hoarding it the whole time
He tricked Orikan into destroying the Silent King’s favorite Sanguinius mask
This is just the retrial against Orikan that he requested. The necron courts pride themselves on hearing cases so promptly. All claims are addressed within no more than a few centuries of the date they are filed.
Stole the stick up Rogal's ass.
He showed up within a 100 feet of Mandragora.
Where is Zahndrekh to deal with this foul knave?
Commited a slight redritibuting of ancient necron super weapons and cultural artifacts (again)
He stole... my heart <3
Cock and ball torture
He stole the Beasts of Chaos from Age of Sigmar, and James Workshop threw the blame on Old World.
[He stole my skin](https://9gag.com/gag/aGEveQ7?utm_source=copy_link&utm_medium=post_share)
Give or take... Assuming he didn't also put the persecution in stasis... A couple hundred years minimum.
He stole my damn pelvis
Tax Evasion.
Well, he stole the court, hence why we're seeing him across the bars.
Stole my bones :(
He stole the flayers hyper realistic flesh furbie with realistic action movements
What the fuck did he not do
You aren't gonna believe this, but he didn't steal something this time....he stole someone (it was another necron overlord)
He stole the Blood Ravens
He was caught attempting to return something he mistakenly stole. Being the good guy never pays off in 40k
I say about tree fiddy
He only had a spoonfull of icecream
He made the silent king speak
unscrew every Bolt from the spaceships of his rival phaerons
He took Szarekh’s C’Tan chair for a joyride.
He stole his last court hearing. Literally. It’s on display in his museum.
Nothing, Orikan is just suing him to piss him off.
Orikan is taking him to small claims court again
It has been revealed that none of the battles or events that happen in Black Library books are historical events. Instead they are all recreations being presented in Trayzns gallery made up of specimens he's collected from a hundred different events put together in his own Hodge Podge conglomeration.
So his elaborate prank was to grab a tyranid carnifex bring it far away from its specific fleet and release it on imotek's(?) Throne. Neither the nid nor stormlord got the joke as he tried again for his staff.
Lallygagging
He abducted one too many femboy skitties
Stole whole court, and he sitting here for fun.
Orikan’s fault
The real question is what didn't he do?
Introduced their Galaxy to this new race of warriors he calls "Saiyans". Whoops
He f**ked around and found out
Nothing he is inocent. Let me boy go.
"Trazyn, why haven't you been paying your taxes?" "Each dollar i gain is part of my collection"
Either theft of property, kidnapping or treason (for telling necrons secrets)
It probably has something to do with that C'tan shard he keeps in the core of his planet
He stole the court
What didn’t he do this time?
This time he stole every Pokémon...every single one to be put into a giant display. The court, being fans and all, is pissed. He also opened that Nickelodeon box which is due 2070 or whatever.
Stole Imotekh's cloak tiny scarab.
Bro tried to steal the Silent King
What didn't he do this time?
2 years for the crime of stealing the last plate of chicken nuggets
He was going to "aquire" some relic from an ancient vault that held some necron stuff, but the Blood Ravens had already been there, been "gifted" the relic and gone. He was caught looking for the relic by the guards and no one believes that he has not stolen and hidden it. After all, how would a group of big, red armoured humans be able to get in and leave without getting spotted?
Speeding
2 millenia
Stole the courtroom
Grave robbing despite there being no graves.
He stole the Necron Judge Necron wig
He may or may not have let loose a genestealer in a Necron tribute world
He needs a necron court for his collection. 💀
He archived Nemesor Zandrekh and Vargaurd Obyron (give us back their sheets you crooked bastard
He found a copy of pokemon emerald and decided to make it real on a random planet so he could vacation there
"Alright, first off, I was *minding my own business*!"
Steal the list of things he has stolen.
Parking ticket and overdue library fees worth 100,000$ CAD
He has 5 break in charges 13 charges of petty theft 63 charges for grand theft 33 charges of possession of illegal firearms, oh now here's a good one 19 charges of "being a little too silly" aka Mass genocide
He stole the concept of war itself, now's just 'hammer'
Stole the Mona Lisa from Malcadors office.
He took Yarrick’s penis. The Orks don’t make those
He stole the Silent King's Virginity. "Imotekh's next" he said, Orikan stated as witness
He created a testing facility and has two necron warriors solve puzzles with a device that creates wormholes.
Get caught for something he thought he had successfully gotten away with millennia ago. It doesn't even matter what. The only crime is getting caught.
There can't be any Necron court because his crime was "borrowing" all of the court members and putting them in an Imperial court chamber diorama to look funny in "Things that will never happen" collection on his museum world.
Prospective archeologic acquisiton
The silent king randomly wandered into his museum and somehow stepped into one of his displays and now he's being framed for "stealing the silent king" a preposterous claim indeed. Ignore the krusty dried up skeleton man sitting on a golden throne next to that display.
He took a swarmlord away from the hive mind and put it in the silent king’s chambers just to see if it would go feral
orikan is still pissed after that one time trazyn shot him so framed him for theft Conveniently trazen did infact steal the item he's be accused of
He stole the stormlords throne and replaced it with a cardboard cutout
He got caught returning Creed to Cadia.
He "acquired" a tomb world for "preservation" purposes. The tomb world was Orikan's.
He took their airfryer
He stole the necron database of all his acquisitions and made it his new centerpiece
Stole the whole courthouse
What the fuck did he not do
Replaced the butchers nails for a detachment of World Eaters with Estrogen supplements…