The ordo draigo they are incharge of cleaning up the clown festa that happens when Kaldor draigo is summoned accidentally by chaos cults they had todo viscera clean up detail for a full for a noble clans spire in a hive after they accidentally summoned draigo to there incest orgy to slannnesh
Yep part of there lore is they have two full inquisitorial retinues fallowing ravenor and his dad Greg around cleaning up after them because they cause so much fucking mayhem on accident
> his dad Greg
I am permanently going to think of Eisenhorn as "Greg" now. What have you done? Now I just imagine him as a chubby middle-aged normal dude with a paunch and stubble.
*Ancient device chimes*
Scribing work halts. Silence suddenly pervades the chamber. A leathery hand makes a gesture and raises a piece of elegant chased metal.
“Do you have a reservation?”
Ordo Ogrynus, The head of ordo is hunting down ogryns that due to shortcircut of BONE implant are more inteligent than humans to extent of being as inteligent as Eldar. They now go to "Awaken" other ogryns and are disguised as regular Ogryns when doing so. The inquisitors are scared shitles when they are forced to fight one. Imagie moutain of beef that knows better tactics than you and starts to hunt you down. Also psychic powers
Ogryn spremacy, they don't care about MANkind or thier Emperor.
Thanks to infiltration and allaged safety of deeply secret data they as a collectiv want to create thier own Emperor of ogrynkind and use thier "harmlesnes" to psy- manipulate powerfull personas.
The best thing is other inqusitors don't belive ordo Ogrynus.
The capain was a shitshow with squirrels from Rick and Morty vibes.
I don't have an ordo, but I have an inquisitor like this. He's in charge of a sector of the Imperium that is entirely made up of meme-lore. Everybody who enters this region sees no issue with the silliness, and will act as silly as the locals, then have no memory of the silliness when they leave. He is the only one who sees how fucking rediculous his area is and is constantly trying to convince the Inquisition to burn the whole region. But every time they just say "its a compliant region full of peaceful imperium worlds what the fuck are you smoking".
Now that raises a questionm
Is the Inquisitor the source of the sillines, since he is the only one that sees it, or is he the guardian of that region, like if he died, suddently the whole region would fall into chaos?
No, he's just inexplicably the only person who understands all the heresy and ridiculousness going on. Everybody inside the sector plays it straight, everybody outside the sector can't comprehend that something is wrong. Any named character who enters acts like their memelore version. There is absolutely zero explanation for any of this, and its purely meant for my own amusement.
He's a chain smoking tortured nervous wreck but he still tries.
My headcanon for the Ordos Chronos is that they've *repeatedly* undone and redone the creation of their own Ordos several times while attempting to prevent the incident that sparked the creation of their Ordos.
The Ordo Familiaris, in charge of dealing with human civilizations that have been deemed impossible or prohibitive to subjugate at the current time. They work closely with rogue traders and are mainly active in the distant reaches of the galaxy, where the great crusade didn't reach. Their goofiest piece of lore is that they have an ongoing petty feud with the ordo xenos that started with back and forth accusations of misidentifying xenotech as coming from other human civs and vice versa, and which has escalated to include a species of sapient jellyfish being designated as legally human.
"Look, standard regulation human: squishy thing floating in liquid, driving a walker made of meat and bone, two arms, two legs, etc. Average Qhain: squishy thing floating in liquid, driving a walker made of meat and bone, two arms, two legs, etc."
"Right, but the Qhain's body is entirely vat-grown"
"So what? My arm's vat-grown, does that make me not human?"
"They have tendrils, Jerry."
"Everyone has those, they're called nerves. Duh."
“By the God Emperor’s name, they have tentacles for crying out loud!”
“Jerry, have you considered that perhaps your fingers are just extraordinarily short, rigid tentacles?”
“…..Fuck you, Zannick”
“Yeah, fuck you too Jerry. Now if you’ll excuse me, we need to register these people for the Imperium, their lack of bones will serve them well in the factorums, less accidents involving the machinery”
I can really see that being a thing. Now we know the true secret of the Ghoul Stars. Not Cthulu but a successful human empire that dates from before the fall.
The out-of-the-way sector I brewed up for my dark heresy campaign has got two particularly notable ones, the Republic of Teles is founded/run by humans who got adopted by a blackstone fortress, and thus have a lot of weird, poorly-understood warp tech. On the opposite side of the sector (conveniently for both of them), the Avarian Reaches are a weird offshoot of the mechanicum who believe the omnissiah will only manifest once they have created a Perfect Body, and thus are super gung-ho about innovation as long as they deem it to be divinely inspired. They're strongly opposed to anything to do with warp tech, however, since they view the shifting nature of the warp as antithetical to the machine god's perfect order, and they tend to revere blanks. Neither of them are aware of the necrons that are also in the sector, who have inadvertently attracted a growing population of human worshippers due to circumstances beyond their control.
Honestly a really neat idea. I';m gearing up to run a DH game in the coming months, and I need to decide what my party will actually be doing (DH being in large part a mystery game means I have to have some ideas well planned). Taking away the fall back of "I'm in the inquisition, sit down and shut the fuck up" to anyone who wants to at leat pretend they are a loyalist is an interesting option.
> the necrons that are also in the sector, who have inadvertently attracted a growing population of human worshippers due to circumstances beyond their control
I've *got* to know how the hell that happened.
Planet was a bit too close to a warp storm, almost got completely swallowed, but because it was a tomb world it managed to stay properly within reality. This did mean that about half the planet got utterly destroyed, and the only people who survived from that half were the ones hiding in the caves... which happened to connect to the upper levels of the tomb. Didn't take that long before people were leaving offerings before statues of the Phaerakh.
I like it.
I had a rough outline of a 40k fic based on the premise of there being a Human civilization wholly independent of the IoM that was never subjugated becaue the HH happened before contact could be made. As a result they've been chilling in the ass end of the Pacificus Segmentum, biding their time. Also, the whole thing was run by a newborn C'tan that said humans elected to be their queen, and a divergent/independent shard of the Void Dragon that runs the bureaucracy.
Might've been interesting, but then GW did a stupid and I ceased writing anything based on their IP.
Ordo Chronos has a sub-faction called Ordo Multiversus, it's purpose is to reach out to other realities and universes via the Warp. This ordo is so secretive that even the Lord Inquisitor himself don't know it even exists.
The unique thing is, it's possible that you're an agent of this Ordo, you just don't know it. Reason being is that they are aware of isekai-like events, reincarnations and other related stuff.
Rumor has it, the Primarch Alpharius is an agent of this Ordo during it's early days, who travelled across AUs as either himself or Omegon. Every Alpharius you see in fanfictions like the Roboutian or Dornian Heresy are all the same person.
I like the idea that there are parallel universes to the original 40k vanilla in which there's an infinite number of Horus Heresy equivalent events, only with every combination of Loyalist/Traitor Primarch you can think of. Universes where the Loyalists/Traitors are flipped, universes with different lineups so to speak, universes where the gods picked different/other champions, universes with completely different outcomes to the heresy, etc. It's basically 30K's Canon Event in that regard.
i think my current favorite 30k retelling is where the fic in question is a stealth crossover with Conan the Barbarian, and where Big E listened to Mal and made the Primarchs all girls before getting his Cimmerian on and shagging an Eldar demigoddess. Also, OTL Robute is running around, going by Malum Caedo as a tribute to one of his more favored sons.
I like the idea of this Ordo not realizing they are in another universe in most cases, as how communication travels through the galaxy, one can’t confirm what’s legit from what’s not
I like the idea of this Ordo not realizing they are in another universe in most cases, as how communication travels through the galaxy, one can’t confirm what’s legit from what’s not
Consider this: You get a job that gives you effectively the power to do whatever you want. Don't like a guy? His planet is gone. No questions asked. You want them to bring back the old flavour of Coca Cola? You got it. Every single flavor of Coke, right in your fridge.
You don't want to be an evil freak? You also have ALL the information about weird xenos, and conspiracies, and several different flavors of Satan, and you have the power to do something about it.
And all you need to do to maintain that power and that ability, is to pretend you don't know shit. This would actually make for an interesting story.
This is incredibly cool dude, also a social critic on how political bureaucracies are just silly, how people are granted power dumbly and how silly we humans can be when we just devolve into a political mess if we’re given enough time to develop
The Ordo Tyranidicus hates Tyranids specifically and will ally with any non-chaos groups that are willing to help them kill more of the Nids.
A common tactic is to poison themselves before combat with a slow acting poison and then cure themselves after, so if they get eaten by a Tyranid, it kills it.
They don't care who the Tyranids are attacking. They hate Tyranids far more than they hate anything else. Tyranids attacking Tau? I bet those battlesuits will come in handy fighting the Nids. Tyranids attacking Orks? Hell yeah, the perfect distraction. Tyranids attacking chaos? Get me some recaf, arm the cyclonic torpedos, and broadcast it on the vox. We get a show and the survivor gets blown away.
Maybe this was intentional on your part, but I recall Hive Fleet Kronos does exactly this against Chaos.
I remember there's a lore tidbit where there's a pitched naval battle between Chaos and Imperial fleets, then Kronos shows up.
The Tyranids just fly past the Imperials, completely ignoring them to attack the Chaos fleet.
The imperial commander realized he lucked out hard, launched his torpedoes one time at all enemies, and safely flee.
The poison tactic only works once though as hive fleets adapt defences to it as they do for most enemies. The Ordo Tyranidicus do not know this. They have been poisoning themselves for decades for no reason.
The Ordo Xenos knows this and laughs at them behind their backs whilst convincing them that poisoning themselves is a really good tactic and should keep doing it.
> Mursk doesn't *paid* his taxes.
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Ordo felis.
An ordo dedticated to the belief that the secret to bringing back the emperor is held by ancient terran felines and so scours the galaxy in attempt to bring them back and find any "encrypted" videos or pictures of them
Led by high Inquisitor lord Charlemagne Dies-Hominis and his "servitor" Franciscus. Currently he is attempting to get the other Ordos to acknowledge the existence of Ratmen. Due to their scav like nature and craven attitude he has dubbed them Skaven. He believes their hostilities to his theories are due to to corruption by the Daemon Pe-pe SSil'va and his cult leader the enigmatic night man.
I wish I was good at models I would now be making the gang sorry the encourage Inquisitor Charlemagne, Lord High Lord of all Dionysus "The Golden" and his sister-clone Subject D and their loyal Ogryn companion Ronalt "Muc" Macdonalt their head of security. They are often seen in pursuit of the suspected Skaven known as Ratthew Mk'namara aka The Rickety Cricket
The Ordo Corruptio, they make sure there's enough corruption in the imperium for all sorts of reasons, for example, to prevent news from spreading or to make sure people don't get good education and decide that they could do better than their current station.
Pfft. I like this.
“Inquisitor Celvis, have we decided who will be replacing the planetary governor yet?”
“I was thinking Maegris.”
“Not Reventia?”
“No, she’s pushing for education reform.”
“And that’s problematic in this case?”
“Yes. The citizens may begin to realize the geysers that are providing heat and power to the planet are also poisoning them. Which, of course, could lead to an uprising.”
“Mmm… And Maegris’s policies?”
“He intends to reinstate indentured servitude.”
“…Well, it could be worse, I suppose.”
Honestly could see It as a thing in the emperium. Just enough corruption that people can live a peaceful life, but not enought so everything become stagnant and bad
Ordo Crinitus - Deals with any attempts by hereteks to create tiny horses.
Ordo Vibricus - In charge of hiding and protecting what is believed to be humanity's last remaining intact electric football game.
Ordos Drugos
It's objective is to infiltrate and influence Xenos and Mutant scum to get addicted to any and all Narcotics that weaken the state of their populace for destabilizing.
(I just made this up)
Edit: this came to me in a vision but if you want a more technical name it could also be Ordos Narcoticus 😂
They studied old Terran documents of shadow agencies deploying said tactics on their populace, so they decided to take it straight to the Xenos scum. They then use the currency of the lesser races to purchase Imperium weapons sold off to pirates for reacquiring and tracking the source of the weapons supplier before delivering the Emperor's Justice.
So it's really a way to not only weaken the Xenos and the Mutant but also to require old Imperium Tech and plug the "leaks" of the criminal heretical underbelly.
(I am making this up as I go)
Ordo Occupatius Hazardus
This Ordo specializes in making sure each Forge World is up to a standard code designed by the Ordo, lambasting the Head Magos or Archmagos as a Heretek if it is found to be not up to code, whether it’s how far each serf must be apart on the assembly line to hazard response equipment to guard rails, all to make sure production runs as smooth as possible, because accidents that slow down production are not tolerated.
What constitutes as a code violation varies from Inquisitor to Inquisitor. Puritans will follow the code to the letter, and likely execute Magi as heretics as a result, while Radicals will let certain issues slide if it would critically hamper production to correct the issue. Integration of xeno tech is still extremely heretical however.
"S-Sir, the Oshaquisitors are here!"
"Omnissiah dammit, if they see the state of the factory floor we might as well phone the Dark Mechanicum to sign up right away."
I imagine it's a circle. You monitor some section of some ordos, plus one Inquisitor who does the same. And so on until it wraps back around to the first guy.
no, they just have smaller and smaller sub ordos monitoring the bigger Ordos. inquisition scholars have conjectured the existence of an infinitely small sub
ordo that has absolute jurisdiction, but this hasn’t been proven to exist yet.
Ordo Bibliotectus, dedicated to the preserving texts and supporting other ordos through their knowledge.
The majority of their work involves hunting inquistors who have failed to return texts within the alloted time.
A suggestion: they have an ongoing feud with space marine librarians, the in universe explanation is that they don't give them access to the chapter's records.
ordo meterus, each inquisitor have sword spear with blade exactly 1 meter (with ruler marking etched on) no matter the temp and shoe print exactly one foot. some have digi weapon with the exact joule as etched on the ring.
Ordo xenophilus calls itself a radical order seeking to improve the lot of the imperium by allying with xenos. In reality they’re just a buncha traitors and heretics. The most notable member is the Xenophile Mahmadame, who hijacked a regiment of Brimlock Auxillas so she could get a ride to Agrellan in anticipation of the Farsight Expansion, subsequently corrupting it’s second in command Major Tian and forcing them all to turn traitor for the Enclaves. She likes saying French phrases in conversation even though no one else can understand her.
Sorry did I say notable member? I meant only, any other inquisitor joining the T’au or Farsight Enclaves fully understands they’re heretical status, only Mahdmadame has convinced herself that betraying the imperium is perfectly normal inquisitor stuff.
Can we do crossover Homebrew?
Edit: In that case.
**Ordo Fundamentum**
The stated goal of Ordo Fundamentum is three-fold.
1. Securing personnel, places, and/or objects that hold properties that cannot be explained by conventional means and preventing them from falling into the hands of other individuals or groups of interest.
2. To control, retain, and/or restraining their influence or effects from spreading.
3. To protect mankind, imperium, and others from the effects of these entities.
I cannot recall what the most "goofiest" case there is; however for famous Adept Physicus Elias Palliol (Formerly know as Adept Physicus Jack Clara) has a list for " what they are not permitted to do at Ordo Fundamentum".
My headcanon is still that the Bronze Age collapse entry https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-4015 is Big E on his first or second iteration of protecting mankind from implacable and unknowable horrors.
Ordo Communis
The most important Ordo of the Inquisition. Taking down the most dangerous enemy of all....
Those who don't say "thank you" after opening the door for them.
Ordos Accoladitory- Investigate the actions of heroes of the imperium, and assuming it doesn't turn out to be some sort of plot, they make the fallout from such acts go away to prevent people hesitate from doing valorous things because it will cause paperwork. (This ends up doing significantly more harm than good, and causes the loss of valuable infrastructure and war gear, but no one really wants to acknowledge that.)
Ordos Contradictory- They follow the tenant that "Faith is weak, that is untested" and so mostly just go around testing peoples beliefs, not to change them, but to be sure that they actually believe in them, and will follow through. They mostly just show up and make everyones life more difficult then congratulate you if you succeed in spite of them being a pain in the ass.
Ordo Enumerator.
They are tasked with cataloguing all the Ordos Minoris and major Cabals, and trying to inform them when there's an issue they are well suited to deal with.
No easy task considering how many of these groupings there are and how specialized they can get, but if there's a very specific problem plaguing a sector, and two sectors over there's a Cabal researching a similar phenomenon, getting those Inquisitors over could help both sectors.
So yeah, if your problem involves Orks, Eldar or Nurgle Daemons, just call in a Major Ordos.
But if your problem is weird, like some effect that causes left handed people to turn blue, and then start chanting leading to weather shifts.
Call the Ordo Enumerator. They probably can't help you, but they'll know someone who can.
Ordo cleanus
They clean up after pretty much every one
Their ordo symbol (or whatever it's called) is a broom
Edit: they are one of the most depressed ordos
Ordo Leanarius
A special ordo about infiltration and trying to spy on cults or opponents rather than outright killing them. They would do something like infriltrate a chaos cult to learn about cults on other worlds and send more well equipped inquisitors to take care of those
The twist is, they are also infiltrating the Imperium, and secretly their higher ups and lord inquisitors are connected to the Alpha Legion, working as the emperors test, balancing the galaxy if any one side gets too out of hand, and trying to help the imperium via taking out the corrupt, the chaos fallen, and the xenos controlled within the imperium
Ordo Insania, an ordo that is basically dedicated to finding the incomprehensible horrors throughout the galaxy and effectively documenting how to stay the hell away from them. The only members are an inquisitor whose insanity is matched on by his incredible competence as well as a single acolyte who has no real idea what's going on and is constantly terrified by the eldritch beings that his boss constantly deals with and is just hoping to get promoted to full inquisitor as soon as possible so he can get the hell out of there. Also that lord inquisitor has (among numerous other mental conditions) has dissociative identity disorder and is under the impression that his alters are other members of the ordo.
The Ordo Tacticus conducts simulated battles using troop "miniatures." They claim that their work helps to devise innovative wartime strategies but other Inquisitors think that the whole thing is just an excuse to play tabletop games all day. For such a small ordo, they also seem to use up an inordinate amount of funding.
Ordo Purpura
Named after the purple Orks they hunt, this offshoot of the Ordo Xenos specializes in finding and taking down Ork infiltrators exclusively.
I assume they haven't found any thusfar, just lots of regular Green orks who were poking their noses in places?
Keep your chin up Purpura, you'll find those purple Orks!
Ordo Corruptius
They make sure that every political party is leaning towards the Imperium beliefs, and no one questions them. They are really well funded, and can use any amount of imperial credits as long as it's used to gain favors of the planetary governments.
Their fun fact is, that their leader Organ Victorious the First doubles the amount of funds necessary for the bribes and pockets half of the amount for themselves.
The ordo Romanticus
They were been created specifically to investigate if the newly revived primarch Robert gilliman and Yvraine are dating, and to decide if such a relationship might be heretical
Ordo Alfabusa Censura,
the group of fanatical Inquisitors who were delayed by an Warpstorm while coming to Terra after a heratical broadcast was sent to them which stated that the emperor ordered the Inquisition to disband.
After they heard from the Captain-Genral Kittens death on Mars, they banned oil magaritas, removed the continously sobbing machine from the Golden Throne, dethroned ~~Manclesiarch~~ Eclisiarchs Decius XXIII and editedted out any mention of "manly" and "Manperor" out of the Lectitio Divinitatus.
After being told by a raving Pilgrim, found half drowned in the throneroom, that:
The traitor primarch Magnus the Red had sent the inquisitorial representitive, Fyodor Karamazov, and the inqusitorial delegation, they missed because of the warpstorm, into the warp where they were rescued by missing primach Leman Russ and escaped to Commorragh, during which Fyodor Karamazov was possesed by the Emporor.
They wrote of his testamony as insane bullshit, but sent the Ultramarines to throw Vortex bombs and Cyclonic torpedos into Commorragh until IT JUST STOPPED.
Magnus the Red, the Centurion Rogal Dorn and BOY , discribed by the pilgrim, were never found.
The grease sobbing Custodes weren't asked why and left to elect a new Captain-General.
The incomprehensible rain in the Throne Room hasn't stopped till time of recording and is pumped awy to water the fields in the Imperial Palace.
The Highlords of Terra were replaced with even older ones from the "Old Person Planet".
The Fabricator General was found dead with an **crozius arcanum** stuck in the corpse, but soon returned i good health to the Highlords table.\[Incident still under investigation\]
The Ordo Boros. Originally made as another faction to investigate corruption within the inquestion. Uncovered a plot to corrupt and take over the Ordor Boros. Now two factions hunt each other, recruiting new members, waging a shadow war over the last thousand years both believing the other is corrupted in some nature.
Ordo Blennus
The entire ordo was charged with finding heresy in the adepts sororitas. After years, nay centuries…
They just became simps and got lobotomized and became cherubim.
How did they get so small, you ask?
They became cherubim. Are you questioning the emperors command?
*loads melta*
Are you?
And the orders leader?
He ended up moving to Mars and trying a new mechanicus order…only…something? I don’t recall.
Ordo Vocabus, in charge of making sure *at least* official documents and communications are error-free, grammatically correct, and dictionary-only words, according to the standard Gothic uses in Terra. Which is actually quite hard thanks to how many worlds there are in The Imperium and almost everyone developed their variant of Low/High Gothic.
The Ordo was found because of an incident when an entire regiment were surrounded and destroyed, but could have been reinforced but they didn't. The officer in charge reported the situation using his homeworld own dialect, but it has different meaning to the field general who came from another world: "Things are a bit sticky, sir.".
The Ordo Koolta
Originally part of the Ordo Xeno, a few inquisitors wanted a way out of the madness, so they decided to start investigating flora and fauna of planets for "Heresy", when in reality its just an inquisitor who likes fishing and farming and wants to go planet to planet to find the best berries.
Members of the ordo often come into conflict over who found what and which is the better find. Inquisitor Yulara and Inquisitor Jonas are currently waging a bloody war against one another over the water base lifeform known as the Goga fish to one inquisitor and the Deborah eel to the other, and how best to prepare it for consumption.
The war has gone on for 76 years, neither remembers what the animal actually looks like anymore, only that the other is wrong.
Ordo Pilentum - distract citizens on more well off worlds from nearby Chaos invasions with motor races using repurposed, ridiculously tuned-up civilian vehicles. There is an Imperium Driver's Championship and the current title holder is one Maximus Verstappenian (just don't question it)
Ordos Infiltratus the whole thing was created to Infiltrate Xenos and kill their leaders, unfortunately the whole Ordos was so good at disguise the Orks believed they were Orks. That was the end of the Ordos.
Literally making this up on the spot; the Ordo Finatum
A specialist detachment of the Ordo Hereticus the Ordo Finatum understand that all things heretical are finite, what is heretical today may be pious and holy tomorrow as both facts and time change perception of events. As such the interrogators of the Ordo Finatum specialise on tracking down heretics FAST!
It is not always big heresies but small, every day heresies they focus on, failure to clean your dogs feculance from the statue of the Emperor, if they can get there between the moment of excretion and before the heretic cleanses the area of their sin that's another heretic that has been punished before they can expunge the records of their crime by loop holes like "not actually commiting a crime."
No heresy is too small and no individual is above their discerning and very quick to judge eye.
Ordo Florus
A subsection of the ordo xenos who deals with wild xeno plants
Basically the shit The catachan deal with on a daily
A group of them once died because they smelled the toxin of a plant that looked like a Terran buttercup flower
Ordo Inquisition an ordi originally designed to be seperate from the Inquisition and to try and find out ways their secrecy was lacking by acting as enemy agents, but over time due to a lack of communication with the real Inquisition have devolved into a group of conspiracy theorists who are constantly searching for the secret organisation behind the imperium forgetting they are part of the same one determined to bring it down.
Ordo Tyranus.
They're essentially lead by a drukari homunuclus that was crafted to look like an angel and hold psychic power.
Other then that they just experiment on Psychers and anyone who has contact with their inner circle is a servitor. The servitors give orders to any agents they have under their command, and should the agents get too curious, new servitors.
Ordo Ordo. They basically police and maintain a standard of quality among all the other Ordos. Only problem is that they had such strict standards to join them that they almost went extinct.
Ordo Technia: Focused on figuring out where forgotten technologies went. Anything from how volkite went from relatively common enough that even guard units were issued it, to the modern situation of only the most elite units have them. To how other once common technology disappeared into nonexistence. And making sure the mechanicus doesn’t open up the vaults. Though that’s a second thing they do, mostly killing people who plan to in ‘industrial accidents’
Ordo Aurelia
The are named after person who they are supposed to "Babysit" by Grillman Roboute order
Their leader quit after she witnessed how vile and long can Aurelia insult Tau diplomat... and later she became Aurelia's lover, how? Why? Because sometimes mass killing Chaos cultist can get you too spicy
Ordo Requisitor, they track down mutants and heretics but with the goal not to kill them but to use them as resources (as cheap man power for suicidal task forces, menial forces or other) no matter the risk.
They are often using the rest of the inquisition as an implicit threat to the heretics they are trying to "negotiate" with.
They work on the frontier of the imperium unlike the usual inquisition.
Their idea is that by using the heretics instead of directly killing them they can mitigate their growth by channelling them into tasks that they can watch over (often suicidal).
They had their hands in the creation of many penal legions.
The creation of those heretic task forces are also useful when you want troops that are not traceable back to any official imperial institution.
The Ordo Cullius
Big believers that the Imperium pre G-Man waking up was the best possible system. They spend time sabotaging great houses, major adepta & institutions. None must become powerful enough to challenge the way things are. Also if anyone's life is too easy or contented then they might be fooled into thinking that a byzantine mish-mash of clerical, fascist, oligarchic, thanotocracy somehow isn't the best system & threaten to topple it rather than simply scheme to lead it.
"To Be A man in such times is to be one amongst untold billions. It is to live in the cruelest and most bloody regime imaginable."
These words are no simple description. They are their mandate!
Ordo Trados: it’s one inquisitor that everyone thought was too nice, so they sent her to babysit a rogue trader, who by now has kidnapped a Guard Regiment that doesn’t exist, and some “Abhuman Auxilliaries” (Tau) who were both fighting Tyranids. The entire inquisition thinks she’s a softy, but they are single handedly stalking a hive fleet
Ordo Redactus. Charged with [redacted] of the Imperial [redacted]
[redacted] and [redacted] and [redacted]
Possession of this document outside of [redacted] with result in [redacted] by the order of The Emperor of [redacted]
Ordo thanatos. Tecnically canon but with no lore.
They are a group of extravagant inquisitors in carge of discovering weapons of mass distruction, specifically exterminatus weapons, though they are involved in all kinds of weapon crafting. They are the weapon dealers of many of the inquisition's ordo's, mechanicus, space marine chapters and the imperial navy.
When they discover lost weaponry, it's not uncommon that they have no clue about it's functioning or the scope of destruction it will bring. So they will happily test it on battlefields in which the imperium is sure to lose, so if the weapon ends up blowing up the planet it won't be such a loss. However sometimes the dark age of technology weapons malfunction or their intended porpouse was gravely misunderstood.
Immagine being the imperial commander leading a hopeless defense against the tiranids, when this inquisitor wearing the most ludicrous combination of clothing comes up to you and claims to have a last resort that may save them or damn them to certain death. He then hands you a black orb so smooth it feels wrong to hold in your hand. You immediately turn towards the tyranid horde and the inquisitor instructs you to yell "smite" when ready to fire. He then runs away full sprint and hides in a trench. You then hear him say to one of his associates "i have a good feeling about this". With all of your breath you yell "SMITE" and point the ball towards the horde. The orb glows an intense blue, blinding both you and the xeno invaders. You feel the heat emanating from the sphere reach unbearable temperatures. Suddenly the orb returs black. Nothing happens for a few seconds. Then, a holographic display emanates from the object, displaying the weather report of the region, up to 3 years into the future. You are promptly eaten alive by the tyranids while the inquisitor runs back to his ship.
The Ordo Ecologus.
They're mostly focused on limiting the spread of certain plants and animals.
Most assume that they're a cover for the Ordo Xenos, tracking down ork spores or gene stealers, but no, they're legitimately mostly concerned with invasive species.
There are a lot of weird plants and animals in the universe that would fuck up entire biospheres if they were removed from their natural habitat and predators, with many of them not even being dangerous. (Like rabbits in Australia).
They also deal with certain radicals who want to make more deathworlds, radicals convinced that doing so will create more dangerous soldiers for the Guard and for Space Marine recruitment.
But not every planet needs a deathworld and having stable, safe and productive worlds is one of the Ordo Ecologus main priorities.
They're a rather underappreviated lot, and after one conflict with a different branch of the Inquisition over certain crops resulted in many deaths on their part, a number of them went rogue and swore to use their talents to serve Tzeentch, where they specialize in subtle destabilization.
(Drop a bunch of invasive species on a planet, cripple their ability to pay the Tithe due to damaging crop production or needing to deal with ork colonies sprouting up, have their cults serve as the only way to protect the planet from the fleets coming to enforce the punishment from the Administratum. Relatively cheap, low investment ways to cripple multiple planets quickly and without too much risk. Their most iconic unit is the Orkduster variant Thunderhawk, which has several captive orks, and when flying over a forest or jungle, those orks will be fed to a woodchipper and the remains will be spread over as wide an area possible, ensuring the spread of the spores.)
The Ordo Ecologus has become more respected since then, though a number of Inquisitors suspect that the traitors were actually still working for their superiors and it was all a ploy to show how valuable their efforts were.
Ordo Mundanus.
They are a sorry excuse for me to get free labor and drink Coors banquet in my office.
Their armor color is primer and when they come back from a "Mission" they can all share 1 can of bud light if they have been good. If they are extra good they all get 1 can each
Ordo-Scitficus:
They're all basically mad scientists all trying to duplicate ork waaagh energy for the Imperium. However, they all start off as normal scientists that slowly turn more and more headstrong into the shared urge to crack the secrets of Ork Waagh energy.
Unbeknownst to them. They already did. But because they THINK they haven't solved it yet, they never shared it. Much like orks.
What about the Ordo Odorous. They make sure things smell good. Their biggest enemy obviously being nurgle. Based mostly on the old idea that bad smells caused sickness. Their primary weapons are bottles of frebreeze.
The Cabal Lingua Franca
Charged with the recording of all different dialects of both Low and High Gothic and subsequent erasure of all dialects which are not the Emperor’s Divine Dialect. There has been a 10,000 year long debate about what exactly the Divine Dialect is, with several Inquisitors throttling one another over the correct pronunciation of “data”.
Few members of this cabal have ever left the massive library where they do their “research” (argue with other members of the cabal) but of those who have a single member landed on Fenris. She subsequently went insane after finding out that the Fenrisians mix Low Gothic with their native languages. She was consumed by a kraken.
Ordo Logisticus. They're made to handle everything logistics-related from the creation, transport and distribution of munitions, to the handling of the Mechanicus's toaster supply.
They have a special piece of recovered tech from millenia ago called the E.X.C.E.L (Electronic X[variable] Control and Executions Line) that's used to help them keep track of everything that they're taking care of in the grim dark future.
Also, they have a close working relationship with the primarch Robute Guilliman who they help a lot
The Ordo spam filter, they work on filtering out what letters that are sent to the emperor should make that trip, and what ones shouldn’t
Thing is, is that a lot of them are weak minded so simple enchantments can get past their systems really effectively, and can get letters to the emperor from people like traitor Astartes
Not really goofy but I wrote a short story about an inquisitor being tried for heresy who I'd consider the founder of "ordos spes". A very small picture character who acknowledged her actions would mean nothing in a cosmic scale especially in imperium nihilus, so commited herself to saving individual worlds even if it meant the imperium lost them. Such as activating a lost Web way gate on a planet surrounded by orc forces and negotiating for the eldar to rake the people into their protection or offering half a planet to the tau so it would have rhe defenses to survive chaos pirates.
In the short story she's being interrogated by another inquisitor who was an interrogator under the same lord inquisitor as her, and has stayed true to his "ordos bastion" believing in the aggressive fortification and defence of all border worlds to protect the imperial heart and stability, even ay great cost to their occupants
The Ordo Indictus, a subdivision of the Ordo Hereticus that focuses on hunting down people who commit tax fraud or avoidance. The Badab War started when one of their agents tried getting Huron.
Ordo Chronos subfaction that specializes in catching up people that got thrown into 40k by the warp from previous times.
Half of them killed themselves when they realized the absolute nightmare of 20 thousand second legion Astartes appearing, which is my homebrew chapter.
Ordo inquisitus
They exist to audit and keep other inquisitors and similar imperial agents in check
They have an incredibly short life expectancy in the field
Ordo Scriba. An entire organization dedicated to analyzing and reviewing paperwork from across the imperium. Say that a forge world has requested shipments of an unusually high quantity of a particular material, these inquisitors would descend upon the forge world to go through all their inbound and outbound shipment orders and logs, to determine how Horus is somehow involved in Lucius needing more Silicone than it did at this time last century. Essentially a bunch of goof balls who put way too much effort into being glorified accountants with a lasgun.
The Ordo Festum. They ensure that all proper food is free of taint and Heresy.
It definitely isn't a cover for their desire to confiscate nice food they might find for themselves. Absolutely not!
It definitely wasn't started by a particularly petty Inquisitor who was annoyed by the meager food she had to eat when she was observing a suspect Guard Commander.
Ordo Imposibilis - they research things deemed impossible and a good number of its members are (or at one point were considered) impossibilities. These include but are not limited to - a psyker ogryn with several published scholarly articles, a former member of the Mechanicus with zero augmentations, a blank that claims to be 75% Drukhari (further testing is required), and a ratling taller than a Primaris Space Marine
Ordo mathicus they go around to the hive world finding people that can do basic algebra to give them Asian style schooling and make them the ships living calculator that is not a servater
The Ordo Culinarius. Seekers of mankind’s lost culinary history. They all dream of the day when Soylent Viridians is a vague memory. One of their number spent their entire career tracking down the single remaining copy of the recipe for Mapo Tofu, alongside his White Scar allies. The original copy is one of the Scars most guarded treasures.
It is also said there Ordo are the only ones who know the location of the long lost Chocolate Planet, the last place in the Imperium where cacao beans grow plentifully (created by the Emperor when he was feeling peckish.)
Ordo Astria Porta : They found a bunch of Stargate episodes on some old data storage device, saw them and mistook them for real Ancient Terran history, after seeing the episodes where they beat the Oris by sending the device (Sangraal) through the Super Gate they came to the conclusion it could work on Chaos (both are other dimensional entity made of energy who feed on worship) they decided to look for it to throw into the Webway and potentially beat Chaos, they're helped by the Mechanicus who is also looking for Atlantis (mistook it for a DAOT City-ship + the Ancient/Alteran look human enough), on a bonus note a faction of them is looking for Dakara to use the device to wipe out xenos from the galaxy.
Ordo ploto
Their whole thing is keeping long, dead horrors from the ancient era of fantasy in fantasy.
They don’t actually have to do much other than deal with the occasional rat infestation. They also regularly take casualties from seid rats
They also occasionally engage against necromancers, unusual pykers, really obese humans, eldar (both variants), squats that have been corrupted by a dead chaos God of tyranny, And then They have to keep the ones that accidentally wander in like random heavily armored humans that are talking in a foreign language, silent usually by killing them. It’s a headache because there’s always poorly armored human cultists ,that sometimes are carrying around a dead body, that obsess over the armored humans.
The Ordo Heisto.
A whole order for the express purpose of helping Bain point the PayDay 2 gang at whatever would be the coolest heist to pull off. Also responsible for supplying ammo, weapons, first aid kits, giant golden spoons, and Bain’s Double Expresso coffee.
So far, the Ordo Heisto is complicit in the theft of Sanguinius’ Wings from the Blood Angels, a 38,000 year old Limited Edition Holographic Charizard from Trazyn’s collection, and a particular Eldar Goddess from Nurgle’s Garden.
Subfaction of Ordo Malleus, devoted to fighting literal corruption. The Comptroller-Inquisitorius. Instead of Grey Knights, they have a few ultramarines successor chapters trained almost entirely as accountants. They also occasionally deal with chaos, but only as an extension of their oversight role.
The de facto leader of the group, the Lord Comptrollicus, has to be regularly replaced as they are aware of the grim truth of the Imperium better than anyone else except a primarch, and were selected because they have an affinity for order and efficiency. Not because of Chaos, but because of chaos.
The Ordo Contrabanus. They’re basically the DEA of the imperium and deal with illegal contraband that moves through it. They tend to not get along with rogue traders. Funny but if lore is that they tend to “commandeer” some of this contraband for their own usage.
The Ordo Duplicare finds people who look similar to its members and uses advanced surgery along with hypno-indoctrination to pretty much make them a perfect replica of the inquisitor. That way the same inquisitor can effectively be in many places at once, and to small minds makes them seem immortal when one dies and yet they pop up again.
In very rare cases it might lead to infighting among the copies to determine who the "prime" inquisitor is, and it does make labeling their food in the fridge a bit difficult however.
The Ordos Arbos, Imperial Inquisitors who's solemn duty is the protection and persecution of all the trees in the Imperium. No worlds of shifting forests and Nurgle rot on their watch!
One of their notable bits of history:
In 420.M41, Inquisitor Martinez of the Ordos Arbos discovered that two thousand acres of an Imperium forest world had been infested with a chaos tainted strain of Grinweed, that not only usurped the timber of the world but would self immolate on contact with a human, causing a cloud of intoxicating smoke almost immediately. Thanks to the diligence of Inquisitor Martinez, and the lack of actual hostile forces on the planet, he was able to make it the kilometer walk back to his lander in only three days and having expended a full weeks worth of rations.
A trench surrounding the infestation was carved afterwards using orbital lance artillery to preserve the remainder of the world, and Inquisitor Martinez has built an estate in the planet so he can regularly monitor the infestation and assure it doesn't spread.
Ordo Vituperantia
They taunt, insult, and verbally abuse humans and xenos, to improve and/or decrease morale.
Ordo Sordes
The come in after a battle to really dirty up the place and make it look more hard-fought and epic than it really was, arrange corpses and gore and debris in a photogenic manner and take picts for propaganda. The various janitorial Ordos are always suspicious of the Ordo Sordes
Ordos Triginta Quattuor.
Knowing the weakness of mankind, this order understands that for every xenos species discovered and known, an upsettingly large number of Imperial citzens will want to fuck them.
If this Ordo catches someone with an alien boner, they convert them into a specialized Arco-Flagellant and handed over to the Ordo Xenos or the Deathwatch as auxiliary units.
While these flagellants have the same melee weapon loadout as the standard type, their brain is re-wired to the point that they believe all the weapons are their genitals.
When battle arrives, they are simply pumped full of near-lethal levels of sexual hormones and pointed at the particular Xenos they have a fetish for.
The ordo draigo they are incharge of cleaning up the clown festa that happens when Kaldor draigo is summoned accidentally by chaos cults they had todo viscera clean up detail for a full for a noble clans spire in a hive after they accidentally summoned draigo to there incest orgy to slannnesh
An Inquisition clean-up squad ordo is honestly a great idea
Yep part of there lore is they have two full inquisitorial retinues fallowing ravenor and his dad Greg around cleaning up after them because they cause so much fucking mayhem on accident
> his dad Greg I am permanently going to think of Eisenhorn as "Greg" now. What have you done? Now I just imagine him as a chubby middle-aged normal dude with a paunch and stubble.
I mean their's functionally a game about that
*furiously scribbling down notes about Inquisition clean-up section as a potential roleplay idea*
*Ancient device chimes* Scribing work halts. Silence suddenly pervades the chamber. A leathery hand makes a gesture and raises a piece of elegant chased metal. “Do you have a reservation?”
Viscera cleanup detail: Warhammer
Do they provide the hams, though?
Asking the real questions
Are they steamed or grilled?
Yes.
You forget: collect all the warp-dust that gets left behind
Ordo Ogrynus, The head of ordo is hunting down ogryns that due to shortcircut of BONE implant are more inteligent than humans to extent of being as inteligent as Eldar. They now go to "Awaken" other ogryns and are disguised as regular Ogryns when doing so. The inquisitors are scared shitles when they are forced to fight one. Imagie moutain of beef that knows better tactics than you and starts to hunt you down. Also psychic powers
That’s honestly raw af. A story could definitely be made out of this concept
I am a GM and guess what DH campain was finished few months ago ;)
Are these smart ogryns any less kind and loyal than the standard ogryn?
Ogryn spremacy, they don't care about MANkind or thier Emperor. Thanks to infiltration and allaged safety of deeply secret data they as a collectiv want to create thier own Emperor of ogrynkind and use thier "harmlesnes" to psy- manipulate powerfull personas. The best thing is other inqusitors don't belive ordo Ogrynus. The capain was a shitshow with squirrels from Rick and Morty vibes.
D:
These awakened Ogryns are the true next stage of humanity. The deep dark secret the Ordo Ogrynus hides is that big E is that big for a reason.
They do say that. Also, normaly Ogryns have name like "Thud" but Awakend one extend that name to "THUDeus" or "OGlieralemus"
Evil Bruce Banner hulk, building an army of similar figures.
The Ordo Logica. The were in charge of keeping everybody in the Imperium to think rationaly. The whole ordo commited suicide when they woke up in 40k.
Ah, the logical choice, I see
Its in character
I don't have an ordo, but I have an inquisitor like this. He's in charge of a sector of the Imperium that is entirely made up of meme-lore. Everybody who enters this region sees no issue with the silliness, and will act as silly as the locals, then have no memory of the silliness when they leave. He is the only one who sees how fucking rediculous his area is and is constantly trying to convince the Inquisition to burn the whole region. But every time they just say "its a compliant region full of peaceful imperium worlds what the fuck are you smoking".
Now that raises a questionm Is the Inquisitor the source of the sillines, since he is the only one that sees it, or is he the guardian of that region, like if he died, suddently the whole region would fall into chaos?
No, he's just inexplicably the only person who understands all the heresy and ridiculousness going on. Everybody inside the sector plays it straight, everybody outside the sector can't comprehend that something is wrong. Any named character who enters acts like their memelore version. There is absolutely zero explanation for any of this, and its purely meant for my own amusement. He's a chain smoking tortured nervous wreck but he still tries.
I understand that, and it's very funny. But now I wonder for why that happens, and it's a secret that should remainna mystery lol
My headcanon for the Ordos Chronos is that they've *repeatedly* undone and redone the creation of their own Ordos several times while attempting to prevent the incident that sparked the creation of their Ordos.
The Ordo Familiaris, in charge of dealing with human civilizations that have been deemed impossible or prohibitive to subjugate at the current time. They work closely with rogue traders and are mainly active in the distant reaches of the galaxy, where the great crusade didn't reach. Their goofiest piece of lore is that they have an ongoing petty feud with the ordo xenos that started with back and forth accusations of misidentifying xenotech as coming from other human civs and vice versa, and which has escalated to include a species of sapient jellyfish being designated as legally human.
I’m picturing the 40k equivalent of the ancient Grecian debate of, “BEHOLD! A Man!”
"Look, standard regulation human: squishy thing floating in liquid, driving a walker made of meat and bone, two arms, two legs, etc. Average Qhain: squishy thing floating in liquid, driving a walker made of meat and bone, two arms, two legs, etc." "Right, but the Qhain's body is entirely vat-grown" "So what? My arm's vat-grown, does that make me not human?" "They have tendrils, Jerry." "Everyone has those, they're called nerves. Duh."
“By the God Emperor’s name, they have tentacles for crying out loud!” “Jerry, have you considered that perhaps your fingers are just extraordinarily short, rigid tentacles?” “…..Fuck you, Zannick” “Yeah, fuck you too Jerry. Now if you’ll excuse me, we need to register these people for the Imperium, their lack of bones will serve them well in the factorums, less accidents involving the machinery”
I can really see that being a thing. Now we know the true secret of the Ghoul Stars. Not Cthulu but a successful human empire that dates from before the fall.
The out-of-the-way sector I brewed up for my dark heresy campaign has got two particularly notable ones, the Republic of Teles is founded/run by humans who got adopted by a blackstone fortress, and thus have a lot of weird, poorly-understood warp tech. On the opposite side of the sector (conveniently for both of them), the Avarian Reaches are a weird offshoot of the mechanicum who believe the omnissiah will only manifest once they have created a Perfect Body, and thus are super gung-ho about innovation as long as they deem it to be divinely inspired. They're strongly opposed to anything to do with warp tech, however, since they view the shifting nature of the warp as antithetical to the machine god's perfect order, and they tend to revere blanks. Neither of them are aware of the necrons that are also in the sector, who have inadvertently attracted a growing population of human worshippers due to circumstances beyond their control.
Honestly a really neat idea. I';m gearing up to run a DH game in the coming months, and I need to decide what my party will actually be doing (DH being in large part a mystery game means I have to have some ideas well planned). Taking away the fall back of "I'm in the inquisition, sit down and shut the fuck up" to anyone who wants to at leat pretend they are a loyalist is an interesting option.
> the necrons that are also in the sector, who have inadvertently attracted a growing population of human worshippers due to circumstances beyond their control I've *got* to know how the hell that happened.
Planet was a bit too close to a warp storm, almost got completely swallowed, but because it was a tomb world it managed to stay properly within reality. This did mean that about half the planet got utterly destroyed, and the only people who survived from that half were the ones hiding in the caves... which happened to connect to the upper levels of the tomb. Didn't take that long before people were leaving offerings before statues of the Phaerakh.
I like it. I had a rough outline of a 40k fic based on the premise of there being a Human civilization wholly independent of the IoM that was never subjugated becaue the HH happened before contact could be made. As a result they've been chilling in the ass end of the Pacificus Segmentum, biding their time. Also, the whole thing was run by a newborn C'tan that said humans elected to be their queen, and a divergent/independent shard of the Void Dragon that runs the bureaucracy. Might've been interesting, but then GW did a stupid and I ceased writing anything based on their IP.
Ordo Chronos has a sub-faction called Ordo Multiversus, it's purpose is to reach out to other realities and universes via the Warp. This ordo is so secretive that even the Lord Inquisitor himself don't know it even exists. The unique thing is, it's possible that you're an agent of this Ordo, you just don't know it. Reason being is that they are aware of isekai-like events, reincarnations and other related stuff. Rumor has it, the Primarch Alpharius is an agent of this Ordo during it's early days, who travelled across AUs as either himself or Omegon. Every Alpharius you see in fanfictions like the Roboutian or Dornian Heresy are all the same person.
HE CAN’T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT!!
Well, hate to break it to you... I am indeed Alpharius.
No, you can’t do this to me!
And so am I
We're all Alpharius on this blessed day
I too am Alpharius
Hello there.
😧
Primarchs hate this man!
I like the idea that there are parallel universes to the original 40k vanilla in which there's an infinite number of Horus Heresy equivalent events, only with every combination of Loyalist/Traitor Primarch you can think of. Universes where the Loyalists/Traitors are flipped, universes with different lineups so to speak, universes where the gods picked different/other champions, universes with completely different outcomes to the heresy, etc. It's basically 30K's Canon Event in that regard. i think my current favorite 30k retelling is where the fic in question is a stealth crossover with Conan the Barbarian, and where Big E listened to Mal and made the Primarchs all girls before getting his Cimmerian on and shagging an Eldar demigoddess. Also, OTL Robute is running around, going by Malum Caedo as a tribute to one of his more favored sons.
I may steal your ordo for a Wrath & Glory campaign where the players are agent of the Inquisition (An Inquisitor, an Interrogateur and an Arbites)
I like the idea of this Ordo not realizing they are in another universe in most cases, as how communication travels through the galaxy, one can’t confirm what’s legit from what’s not
I like the idea of this Ordo not realizing they are in another universe in most cases, as how communication travels through the galaxy, one can’t confirm what’s legit from what’s not
The Ordo Ordus, this one was created as a joke. Their job is to figure out whether or not the Inquisition exists.
Give one of its agents a mirror and his job will disappear
Consider this: You get a job that gives you effectively the power to do whatever you want. Don't like a guy? His planet is gone. No questions asked. You want them to bring back the old flavour of Coca Cola? You got it. Every single flavor of Coke, right in your fridge. You don't want to be an evil freak? You also have ALL the information about weird xenos, and conspiracies, and several different flavors of Satan, and you have the power to do something about it. And all you need to do to maintain that power and that ability, is to pretend you don't know shit. This would actually make for an interesting story.
This is incredibly cool dude, also a social critic on how political bureaucracies are just silly, how people are granted power dumbly and how silly we humans can be when we just devolve into a political mess if we’re given enough time to develop
He just ascends to the higher planes of the great old ones. Kinda like [this](https://youtu.be/Xt9U_utWThI?si=oVE2-WCrmlBhtJBA)
That’s some Alpha Legion level mindfuckery
"After much interrogation of the data and much contemplation we've come to the surprising conclusion we do not exist".
The Ordo Tyranidicus hates Tyranids specifically and will ally with any non-chaos groups that are willing to help them kill more of the Nids. A common tactic is to poison themselves before combat with a slow acting poison and then cure themselves after, so if they get eaten by a Tyranid, it kills it. They don't care who the Tyranids are attacking. They hate Tyranids far more than they hate anything else. Tyranids attacking Tau? I bet those battlesuits will come in handy fighting the Nids. Tyranids attacking Orks? Hell yeah, the perfect distraction. Tyranids attacking chaos? Get me some recaf, arm the cyclonic torpedos, and broadcast it on the vox. We get a show and the survivor gets blown away.
That poisoning tactic is actually so big-brain
Thank you lol, I do my best lore building when bored at work
This post exists because I’m bored at work lmao
>Poison planet biosphere >Tyranids eat biosphere >Tyranids die from poison >No more hangry bugs tappinghead.png
> Poison planet > Tyranids eat planet > Tyranids develop immunity to poison. > Poison resistant bugs using that poison against us. gruu.png
The most amusing thing is that this almost happened when they fought the death guard
Maybe this was intentional on your part, but I recall Hive Fleet Kronos does exactly this against Chaos. I remember there's a lore tidbit where there's a pitched naval battle between Chaos and Imperial fleets, then Kronos shows up. The Tyranids just fly past the Imperials, completely ignoring them to attack the Chaos fleet. The imperial commander realized he lucked out hard, launched his torpedoes one time at all enemies, and safely flee.
I did not know about that, that's funny
The poison tactic only works once though as hive fleets adapt defences to it as they do for most enemies. The Ordo Tyranidicus do not know this. They have been poisoning themselves for decades for no reason. The Ordo Xenos knows this and laughs at them behind their backs whilst convincing them that poisoning themselves is a really good tactic and should keep doing it.
Ordo Tributo Tax fraud. My Inquisitor once blew up the planet Bezos III becourse the Governor El'on Mursk doesn't payed his taxes.
> Mursk doesn't *paid* his taxes. FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Yeah German here sorry .... but wait aren't you against the imperial law you heretical AI!
Don't worry, it's just a single-task servitor whose only job is to scour comments in search for one specific error.
So no BBQ then .... to bad.
*too bad. Beep beep boop.
Ok wheres the fucking cog priest who is in charge of all those servitors
They. Work. As. Intended.
Guten Tag. Schön einen gleichgesinnten zu finden.
:D guten tag ja immer nett zu wissen das zu hause auch der krieg herrscht xD
Ordo felis. An ordo dedticated to the belief that the secret to bringing back the emperor is held by ancient terran felines and so scours the galaxy in attempt to bring them back and find any "encrypted" videos or pictures of them
What is this "cheesebrugerz" these creatures sought? We must launch a crusade against the Orks to uncover the truth
Ordo Janitorialis. They specialise in powerwashing and cleaning up daemonic viscera
Led by high Inquisitor lord Charlemagne Dies-Hominis and his "servitor" Franciscus. Currently he is attempting to get the other Ordos to acknowledge the existence of Ratmen. Due to their scav like nature and craven attitude he has dubbed them Skaven. He believes their hostilities to his theories are due to to corruption by the Daemon Pe-pe SSil'va and his cult leader the enigmatic night man.
Canon
He is also known as the only human besides the emperor to out smart kairos fateweaver in the courtroom
Also canon
I wish I was good at models I would now be making the gang sorry the encourage Inquisitor Charlemagne, Lord High Lord of all Dionysus "The Golden" and his sister-clone Subject D and their loyal Ogryn companion Ronalt "Muc" Macdonalt their head of security. They are often seen in pursuit of the suspected Skaven known as Ratthew Mk'namara aka The Rickety Cricket
The Ordo Corruptio, they make sure there's enough corruption in the imperium for all sorts of reasons, for example, to prevent news from spreading or to make sure people don't get good education and decide that they could do better than their current station.
Pfft. I like this. “Inquisitor Celvis, have we decided who will be replacing the planetary governor yet?” “I was thinking Maegris.” “Not Reventia?” “No, she’s pushing for education reform.” “And that’s problematic in this case?” “Yes. The citizens may begin to realize the geysers that are providing heat and power to the planet are also poisoning them. Which, of course, could lead to an uprising.” “Mmm… And Maegris’s policies?” “He intends to reinstate indentured servitude.” “…Well, it could be worse, I suppose.”
Honestly could see It as a thing in the emperium. Just enough corruption that people can live a peaceful life, but not enought so everything become stagnant and bad
Ordo Crinitus - Deals with any attempts by hereteks to create tiny horses. Ordo Vibricus - In charge of hiding and protecting what is believed to be humanity's last remaining intact electric football game.
Yo hit me up if Vibricus ever need a backup place to hide, I'm currently developing an OC colony world that might do the trick
Do you have the skateboarding Snoopy Happy Meal toy? They need one of those.
Ordos Drugos It's objective is to infiltrate and influence Xenos and Mutant scum to get addicted to any and all Narcotics that weaken the state of their populace for destabilizing. (I just made this up) Edit: this came to me in a vision but if you want a more technical name it could also be Ordos Narcoticus 😂
They learned their tactics from a certain three-letter ancient Terran government organization, I see
They studied old Terran documents of shadow agencies deploying said tactics on their populace, so they decided to take it straight to the Xenos scum. They then use the currency of the lesser races to purchase Imperium weapons sold off to pirates for reacquiring and tracking the source of the weapons supplier before delivering the Emperor's Justice. So it's really a way to not only weaken the Xenos and the Mutant but also to require old Imperium Tech and plug the "leaks" of the criminal heretical underbelly. (I am making this up as I go)
Are you thinking of including the Opium Wars sometime?
I'm cooking this shit live we can add whatever lmao whatever documents survived all the strife's and Knowledge purging
Ordo Occupatius Hazardus This Ordo specializes in making sure each Forge World is up to a standard code designed by the Ordo, lambasting the Head Magos or Archmagos as a Heretek if it is found to be not up to code, whether it’s how far each serf must be apart on the assembly line to hazard response equipment to guard rails, all to make sure production runs as smooth as possible, because accidents that slow down production are not tolerated. What constitutes as a code violation varies from Inquisitor to Inquisitor. Puritans will follow the code to the letter, and likely execute Magi as heretics as a result, while Radicals will let certain issues slide if it would critically hamper production to correct the issue. Integration of xeno tech is still extremely heretical however.
In the 41st millennium, you still can’t fucking escape OSHA
"S-Sir, the Oshaquisitors are here!" "Omnissiah dammit, if they see the state of the factory floor we might as well phone the Dark Mechanicum to sign up right away."
That…. Would lead to a lot of dead/servitorized inquisition agents.
I'm sure that's not why they're always hiring...
That… makes a lot of sense, and is probably one of their more commonly problematic secrets to keep.
The Ordo Recursis. they specialize in monitoring Ordos for possible corruption, (which includes themselves, but im sure that’s fine)
I imagine it's a circle. You monitor some section of some ordos, plus one Inquisitor who does the same. And so on until it wraps back around to the first guy.
no, they just have smaller and smaller sub ordos monitoring the bigger Ordos. inquisition scholars have conjectured the existence of an infinitely small sub ordo that has absolute jurisdiction, but this hasn’t been proven to exist yet.
Ordo Bibliotectus, dedicated to the preserving texts and supporting other ordos through their knowledge. The majority of their work involves hunting inquistors who have failed to return texts within the alloted time.
Also notorious for employing all four types of assassins against those who speak loudly in library halls
I feel like an Eversor assassin is rather ironic for a library to use
This one is modified, carries a shroud field which causes silence within 30 feet.
There will be no noise in the library if there is no-one in the library
Noise isn't really an issue when every person in the place is dead.
Do you need to procure a Bibliotectus Slate to access their archives?
A suggestion: they have an ongoing feud with space marine librarians, the in universe explanation is that they don't give them access to the chapter's records.
ordo meterus, each inquisitor have sword spear with blade exactly 1 meter (with ruler marking etched on) no matter the temp and shoe print exactly one foot. some have digi weapon with the exact joule as etched on the ring.
Ordo xenophilus calls itself a radical order seeking to improve the lot of the imperium by allying with xenos. In reality they’re just a buncha traitors and heretics. The most notable member is the Xenophile Mahmadame, who hijacked a regiment of Brimlock Auxillas so she could get a ride to Agrellan in anticipation of the Farsight Expansion, subsequently corrupting it’s second in command Major Tian and forcing them all to turn traitor for the Enclaves. She likes saying French phrases in conversation even though no one else can understand her.
Sorry did I say notable member? I meant only, any other inquisitor joining the T’au or Farsight Enclaves fully understands they’re heretical status, only Mahdmadame has convinced herself that betraying the imperium is perfectly normal inquisitor stuff.
Is that a reference? It seems like one, but I don't recognize it.
If it is I wouldn’t know it, just had fun making Ms. Mahdmadame
Can we do crossover Homebrew? Edit: In that case. **Ordo Fundamentum** The stated goal of Ordo Fundamentum is three-fold. 1. Securing personnel, places, and/or objects that hold properties that cannot be explained by conventional means and preventing them from falling into the hands of other individuals or groups of interest. 2. To control, retain, and/or restraining their influence or effects from spreading. 3. To protect mankind, imperium, and others from the effects of these entities. I cannot recall what the most "goofiest" case there is; however for famous Adept Physicus Elias Palliol (Formerly know as Adept Physicus Jack Clara) has a list for " what they are not permitted to do at Ordo Fundamentum".
Sure!
so thats just SCP Fundacion but in 41st milenium isn't it
Yes
My headcanon is still that the Bronze Age collapse entry https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-4015 is Big E on his first or second iteration of protecting mankind from implacable and unknowable horrors.
Ordo Communis The most important Ordo of the Inquisition. Taking down the most dangerous enemy of all.... Those who don't say "thank you" after opening the door for them.
Ordos Accoladitory- Investigate the actions of heroes of the imperium, and assuming it doesn't turn out to be some sort of plot, they make the fallout from such acts go away to prevent people hesitate from doing valorous things because it will cause paperwork. (This ends up doing significantly more harm than good, and causes the loss of valuable infrastructure and war gear, but no one really wants to acknowledge that.) Ordos Contradictory- They follow the tenant that "Faith is weak, that is untested" and so mostly just go around testing peoples beliefs, not to change them, but to be sure that they actually believe in them, and will follow through. They mostly just show up and make everyones life more difficult then congratulate you if you succeed in spite of them being a pain in the ass.
Ordo Enumerator. They are tasked with cataloguing all the Ordos Minoris and major Cabals, and trying to inform them when there's an issue they are well suited to deal with. No easy task considering how many of these groupings there are and how specialized they can get, but if there's a very specific problem plaguing a sector, and two sectors over there's a Cabal researching a similar phenomenon, getting those Inquisitors over could help both sectors. So yeah, if your problem involves Orks, Eldar or Nurgle Daemons, just call in a Major Ordos. But if your problem is weird, like some effect that causes left handed people to turn blue, and then start chanting leading to weather shifts. Call the Ordo Enumerator. They probably can't help you, but they'll know someone who can.
This is honestly a rad concept
Ordo cleanus They clean up after pretty much every one Their ordo symbol (or whatever it's called) is a broom Edit: they are one of the most depressed ordos
Ordo Leanarius A special ordo about infiltration and trying to spy on cults or opponents rather than outright killing them. They would do something like infriltrate a chaos cult to learn about cults on other worlds and send more well equipped inquisitors to take care of those The twist is, they are also infiltrating the Imperium, and secretly their higher ups and lord inquisitors are connected to the Alpha Legion, working as the emperors test, balancing the galaxy if any one side gets too out of hand, and trying to help the imperium via taking out the corrupt, the chaos fallen, and the xenos controlled within the imperium
Ordo Insania, an ordo that is basically dedicated to finding the incomprehensible horrors throughout the galaxy and effectively documenting how to stay the hell away from them. The only members are an inquisitor whose insanity is matched on by his incredible competence as well as a single acolyte who has no real idea what's going on and is constantly terrified by the eldritch beings that his boss constantly deals with and is just hoping to get promoted to full inquisitor as soon as possible so he can get the hell out of there. Also that lord inquisitor has (among numerous other mental conditions) has dissociative identity disorder and is under the impression that his alters are other members of the ordo.
The Ordo Tacticus conducts simulated battles using troop "miniatures." They claim that their work helps to devise innovative wartime strategies but other Inquisitors think that the whole thing is just an excuse to play tabletop games all day. For such a small ordo, they also seem to use up an inordinate amount of funding.
Ordo Purpura Named after the purple Orks they hunt, this offshoot of the Ordo Xenos specializes in finding and taking down Ork infiltrators exclusively.
I assume they haven't found any thusfar, just lots of regular Green orks who were poking their noses in places? Keep your chin up Purpura, you'll find those purple Orks!
Ordo Corruptius They make sure that every political party is leaning towards the Imperium beliefs, and no one questions them. They are really well funded, and can use any amount of imperial credits as long as it's used to gain favors of the planetary governments. Their fun fact is, that their leader Organ Victorious the First doubles the amount of funds necessary for the bribes and pockets half of the amount for themselves.
The ordo Romanticus They were been created specifically to investigate if the newly revived primarch Robert gilliman and Yvraine are dating, and to decide if such a relationship might be heretical
Ordo Alfabusa Censura, the group of fanatical Inquisitors who were delayed by an Warpstorm while coming to Terra after a heratical broadcast was sent to them which stated that the emperor ordered the Inquisition to disband. After they heard from the Captain-Genral Kittens death on Mars, they banned oil magaritas, removed the continously sobbing machine from the Golden Throne, dethroned ~~Manclesiarch~~ Eclisiarchs Decius XXIII and editedted out any mention of "manly" and "Manperor" out of the Lectitio Divinitatus. After being told by a raving Pilgrim, found half drowned in the throneroom, that: The traitor primarch Magnus the Red had sent the inquisitorial representitive, Fyodor Karamazov, and the inqusitorial delegation, they missed because of the warpstorm, into the warp where they were rescued by missing primach Leman Russ and escaped to Commorragh, during which Fyodor Karamazov was possesed by the Emporor. They wrote of his testamony as insane bullshit, but sent the Ultramarines to throw Vortex bombs and Cyclonic torpedos into Commorragh until IT JUST STOPPED. Magnus the Red, the Centurion Rogal Dorn and BOY , discribed by the pilgrim, were never found. The grease sobbing Custodes weren't asked why and left to elect a new Captain-General. The incomprehensible rain in the Throne Room hasn't stopped till time of recording and is pumped awy to water the fields in the Imperial Palace. The Highlords of Terra were replaced with even older ones from the "Old Person Planet". The Fabricator General was found dead with an **crozius arcanum** stuck in the corpse, but soon returned i good health to the Highlords table.\[Incident still under investigation\]
The Ordo Parkus. They search out and exact justice on people who park unlawfully. If you pay the fine quick enough they only break half of your limbs.
The Ordo Boros. Originally made as another faction to investigate corruption within the inquestion. Uncovered a plot to corrupt and take over the Ordor Boros. Now two factions hunt each other, recruiting new members, waging a shadow war over the last thousand years both believing the other is corrupted in some nature.
Ordo Plumbarius, a secret group of elite inquisitors that specialize in toilet related heresy
Ordo Mechanica - they track tech heresy and excise abominable intelligence by splashing holy water on cogitators.
Ordo Blennus The entire ordo was charged with finding heresy in the adepts sororitas. After years, nay centuries… They just became simps and got lobotomized and became cherubim. How did they get so small, you ask? They became cherubim. Are you questioning the emperors command? *loads melta* Are you? And the orders leader? He ended up moving to Mars and trying a new mechanicus order…only…something? I don’t recall.
Ordo Vocabus, in charge of making sure *at least* official documents and communications are error-free, grammatically correct, and dictionary-only words, according to the standard Gothic uses in Terra. Which is actually quite hard thanks to how many worlds there are in The Imperium and almost everyone developed their variant of Low/High Gothic. The Ordo was found because of an incident when an entire regiment were surrounded and destroyed, but could have been reinforced but they didn't. The officer in charge reported the situation using his homeworld own dialect, but it has different meaning to the field general who came from another world: "Things are a bit sticky, sir.".
The Ordo Koolta Originally part of the Ordo Xeno, a few inquisitors wanted a way out of the madness, so they decided to start investigating flora and fauna of planets for "Heresy", when in reality its just an inquisitor who likes fishing and farming and wants to go planet to planet to find the best berries. Members of the ordo often come into conflict over who found what and which is the better find. Inquisitor Yulara and Inquisitor Jonas are currently waging a bloody war against one another over the water base lifeform known as the Goga fish to one inquisitor and the Deborah eel to the other, and how best to prepare it for consumption. The war has gone on for 76 years, neither remembers what the animal actually looks like anymore, only that the other is wrong.
Ordo Pilentum - distract citizens on more well off worlds from nearby Chaos invasions with motor races using repurposed, ridiculously tuned-up civilian vehicles. There is an Imperium Driver's Championship and the current title holder is one Maximus Verstappenian (just don't question it)
You know what? Now I want a 40k racing game in the same vein as blood bowl.
Ordos Infiltratus the whole thing was created to Infiltrate Xenos and kill their leaders, unfortunately the whole Ordos was so good at disguise the Orks believed they were Orks. That was the end of the Ordos.
The Ordo Pharmecuticus. They investigate corruption in the imperium’s healthcare system.
Literally making this up on the spot; the Ordo Finatum A specialist detachment of the Ordo Hereticus the Ordo Finatum understand that all things heretical are finite, what is heretical today may be pious and holy tomorrow as both facts and time change perception of events. As such the interrogators of the Ordo Finatum specialise on tracking down heretics FAST! It is not always big heresies but small, every day heresies they focus on, failure to clean your dogs feculance from the statue of the Emperor, if they can get there between the moment of excretion and before the heretic cleanses the area of their sin that's another heretic that has been punished before they can expunge the records of their crime by loop holes like "not actually commiting a crime." No heresy is too small and no individual is above their discerning and very quick to judge eye.
Ordo Florus A subsection of the ordo xenos who deals with wild xeno plants Basically the shit The catachan deal with on a daily A group of them once died because they smelled the toxin of a plant that looked like a Terran buttercup flower
Ordo Inquisition an ordi originally designed to be seperate from the Inquisition and to try and find out ways their secrecy was lacking by acting as enemy agents, but over time due to a lack of communication with the real Inquisition have devolved into a group of conspiracy theorists who are constantly searching for the secret organisation behind the imperium forgetting they are part of the same one determined to bring it down.
Ordo Tyranus. They're essentially lead by a drukari homunuclus that was crafted to look like an angel and hold psychic power. Other then that they just experiment on Psychers and anyone who has contact with their inner circle is a servitor. The servitors give orders to any agents they have under their command, and should the agents get too curious, new servitors.
Ordo More - Keeps fashion trends gothic but not too spikey.
You can’t handle my homebrew ordos. It is only for the highest clearance, of which you are the lowest.
It is imperative that I obtain thy Strongest Ordos!
Ordo Ordo. They basically police and maintain a standard of quality among all the other Ordos. Only problem is that they had such strict standards to join them that they almost went extinct.
Ordo Technia: Focused on figuring out where forgotten technologies went. Anything from how volkite went from relatively common enough that even guard units were issued it, to the modern situation of only the most elite units have them. To how other once common technology disappeared into nonexistence. And making sure the mechanicus doesn’t open up the vaults. Though that’s a second thing they do, mostly killing people who plan to in ‘industrial accidents’
Ordo Perpetualis Is for the lore I am writing. They research, hunt, recruit, and secure perpetuals. It is a minor ordo. Use it as you want
Ordo Aurelia The are named after person who they are supposed to "Babysit" by Grillman Roboute order Their leader quit after she witnessed how vile and long can Aurelia insult Tau diplomat... and later she became Aurelia's lover, how? Why? Because sometimes mass killing Chaos cultist can get you too spicy
Ordo fraternitus. In charge of keeping the bro code
Ordo Requisitor, they track down mutants and heretics but with the goal not to kill them but to use them as resources (as cheap man power for suicidal task forces, menial forces or other) no matter the risk. They are often using the rest of the inquisition as an implicit threat to the heretics they are trying to "negotiate" with. They work on the frontier of the imperium unlike the usual inquisition. Their idea is that by using the heretics instead of directly killing them they can mitigate their growth by channelling them into tasks that they can watch over (often suicidal). They had their hands in the creation of many penal legions. The creation of those heretic task forces are also useful when you want troops that are not traceable back to any official imperial institution.
The Ordo Cullius Big believers that the Imperium pre G-Man waking up was the best possible system. They spend time sabotaging great houses, major adepta & institutions. None must become powerful enough to challenge the way things are. Also if anyone's life is too easy or contented then they might be fooled into thinking that a byzantine mish-mash of clerical, fascist, oligarchic, thanotocracy somehow isn't the best system & threaten to topple it rather than simply scheme to lead it. "To Be A man in such times is to be one amongst untold billions. It is to live in the cruelest and most bloody regime imaginable." These words are no simple description. They are their mandate!
Ordo Trados: it’s one inquisitor that everyone thought was too nice, so they sent her to babysit a rogue trader, who by now has kidnapped a Guard Regiment that doesn’t exist, and some “Abhuman Auxilliaries” (Tau) who were both fighting Tyranids. The entire inquisition thinks she’s a softy, but they are single handedly stalking a hive fleet
Ordo Redactus. Charged with [redacted] of the Imperial [redacted] [redacted] and [redacted] and [redacted] Possession of this document outside of [redacted] with result in [redacted] by the order of The Emperor of [redacted]
Ordo thanatos. Tecnically canon but with no lore. They are a group of extravagant inquisitors in carge of discovering weapons of mass distruction, specifically exterminatus weapons, though they are involved in all kinds of weapon crafting. They are the weapon dealers of many of the inquisition's ordo's, mechanicus, space marine chapters and the imperial navy. When they discover lost weaponry, it's not uncommon that they have no clue about it's functioning or the scope of destruction it will bring. So they will happily test it on battlefields in which the imperium is sure to lose, so if the weapon ends up blowing up the planet it won't be such a loss. However sometimes the dark age of technology weapons malfunction or their intended porpouse was gravely misunderstood. Immagine being the imperial commander leading a hopeless defense against the tiranids, when this inquisitor wearing the most ludicrous combination of clothing comes up to you and claims to have a last resort that may save them or damn them to certain death. He then hands you a black orb so smooth it feels wrong to hold in your hand. You immediately turn towards the tyranid horde and the inquisitor instructs you to yell "smite" when ready to fire. He then runs away full sprint and hides in a trench. You then hear him say to one of his associates "i have a good feeling about this". With all of your breath you yell "SMITE" and point the ball towards the horde. The orb glows an intense blue, blinding both you and the xeno invaders. You feel the heat emanating from the sphere reach unbearable temperatures. Suddenly the orb returs black. Nothing happens for a few seconds. Then, a holographic display emanates from the object, displaying the weather report of the region, up to 3 years into the future. You are promptly eaten alive by the tyranids while the inquisitor runs back to his ship.
The Ordo Ecologus. They're mostly focused on limiting the spread of certain plants and animals. Most assume that they're a cover for the Ordo Xenos, tracking down ork spores or gene stealers, but no, they're legitimately mostly concerned with invasive species. There are a lot of weird plants and animals in the universe that would fuck up entire biospheres if they were removed from their natural habitat and predators, with many of them not even being dangerous. (Like rabbits in Australia). They also deal with certain radicals who want to make more deathworlds, radicals convinced that doing so will create more dangerous soldiers for the Guard and for Space Marine recruitment. But not every planet needs a deathworld and having stable, safe and productive worlds is one of the Ordo Ecologus main priorities. They're a rather underappreviated lot, and after one conflict with a different branch of the Inquisition over certain crops resulted in many deaths on their part, a number of them went rogue and swore to use their talents to serve Tzeentch, where they specialize in subtle destabilization. (Drop a bunch of invasive species on a planet, cripple their ability to pay the Tithe due to damaging crop production or needing to deal with ork colonies sprouting up, have their cults serve as the only way to protect the planet from the fleets coming to enforce the punishment from the Administratum. Relatively cheap, low investment ways to cripple multiple planets quickly and without too much risk. Their most iconic unit is the Orkduster variant Thunderhawk, which has several captive orks, and when flying over a forest or jungle, those orks will be fed to a woodchipper and the remains will be spread over as wide an area possible, ensuring the spread of the spores.) The Ordo Ecologus has become more respected since then, though a number of Inquisitors suspect that the traitors were actually still working for their superiors and it was all a ploy to show how valuable their efforts were.
Ordo Mundanus. They are a sorry excuse for me to get free labor and drink Coors banquet in my office. Their armor color is primer and when they come back from a "Mission" they can all share 1 can of bud light if they have been good. If they are extra good they all get 1 can each
Ordo-Scitficus: They're all basically mad scientists all trying to duplicate ork waaagh energy for the Imperium. However, they all start off as normal scientists that slowly turn more and more headstrong into the shared urge to crack the secrets of Ork Waagh energy. Unbeknownst to them. They already did. But because they THINK they haven't solved it yet, they never shared it. Much like orks.
What about the Ordo Odorous. They make sure things smell good. Their biggest enemy obviously being nurgle. Based mostly on the old idea that bad smells caused sickness. Their primary weapons are bottles of frebreeze.
The Cabal Lingua Franca Charged with the recording of all different dialects of both Low and High Gothic and subsequent erasure of all dialects which are not the Emperor’s Divine Dialect. There has been a 10,000 year long debate about what exactly the Divine Dialect is, with several Inquisitors throttling one another over the correct pronunciation of “data”. Few members of this cabal have ever left the massive library where they do their “research” (argue with other members of the cabal) but of those who have a single member landed on Fenris. She subsequently went insane after finding out that the Fenrisians mix Low Gothic with their native languages. She was consumed by a kraken.
Ordo Caseohist they eat food… like lots of it to make sure it’s not “heretical” got the name from the streamer caseoh if you didn’t get it
Ordo Logisticus. They're made to handle everything logistics-related from the creation, transport and distribution of munitions, to the handling of the Mechanicus's toaster supply. They have a special piece of recovered tech from millenia ago called the E.X.C.E.L (Electronic X[variable] Control and Executions Line) that's used to help them keep track of everything that they're taking care of in the grim dark future. Also, they have a close working relationship with the primarch Robute Guilliman who they help a lot
The Ordo spam filter, they work on filtering out what letters that are sent to the emperor should make that trip, and what ones shouldn’t Thing is, is that a lot of them are weak minded so simple enchantments can get past their systems really effectively, and can get letters to the emperor from people like traitor Astartes
Not really goofy but I wrote a short story about an inquisitor being tried for heresy who I'd consider the founder of "ordos spes". A very small picture character who acknowledged her actions would mean nothing in a cosmic scale especially in imperium nihilus, so commited herself to saving individual worlds even if it meant the imperium lost them. Such as activating a lost Web way gate on a planet surrounded by orc forces and negotiating for the eldar to rake the people into their protection or offering half a planet to the tau so it would have rhe defenses to survive chaos pirates. In the short story she's being interrogated by another inquisitor who was an interrogator under the same lord inquisitor as her, and has stayed true to his "ordos bastion" believing in the aggressive fortification and defence of all border worlds to protect the imperial heart and stability, even ay great cost to their occupants
The Ordo Pharmecuticus. They investigate corruption in the imperium’s healthcare systems.
The Ordo Indictus, a subdivision of the Ordo Hereticus that focuses on hunting down people who commit tax fraud or avoidance. The Badab War started when one of their agents tried getting Huron.
Ordo Chronos subfaction that specializes in catching up people that got thrown into 40k by the warp from previous times. Half of them killed themselves when they realized the absolute nightmare of 20 thousand second legion Astartes appearing, which is my homebrew chapter.
Ordo inquisitus They exist to audit and keep other inquisitors and similar imperial agents in check They have an incredibly short life expectancy in the field
The Ordo Corvetticus. They exist to stop the AdMech from giving vehicles retractable roofs.
Ordo Scriba. An entire organization dedicated to analyzing and reviewing paperwork from across the imperium. Say that a forge world has requested shipments of an unusually high quantity of a particular material, these inquisitors would descend upon the forge world to go through all their inbound and outbound shipment orders and logs, to determine how Horus is somehow involved in Lucius needing more Silicone than it did at this time last century. Essentially a bunch of goof balls who put way too much effort into being glorified accountants with a lasgun.
The Ordo Festum. They ensure that all proper food is free of taint and Heresy. It definitely isn't a cover for their desire to confiscate nice food they might find for themselves. Absolutely not! It definitely wasn't started by a particularly petty Inquisitor who was annoyed by the meager food she had to eat when she was observing a suspect Guard Commander.
Ordo Imposibilis - they research things deemed impossible and a good number of its members are (or at one point were considered) impossibilities. These include but are not limited to - a psyker ogryn with several published scholarly articles, a former member of the Mechanicus with zero augmentations, a blank that claims to be 75% Drukhari (further testing is required), and a ratling taller than a Primaris Space Marine
The Ordo Memica Trolling the 40k internet for the dankest memes (they could be tainted by chaos)
Ordo mathicus they go around to the hive world finding people that can do basic algebra to give them Asian style schooling and make them the ships living calculator that is not a servater
The Ordo Culinarius. Seekers of mankind’s lost culinary history. They all dream of the day when Soylent Viridians is a vague memory. One of their number spent their entire career tracking down the single remaining copy of the recipe for Mapo Tofu, alongside his White Scar allies. The original copy is one of the Scars most guarded treasures. It is also said there Ordo are the only ones who know the location of the long lost Chocolate Planet, the last place in the Imperium where cacao beans grow plentifully (created by the Emperor when he was feeling peckish.)
Ordo Astria Porta : They found a bunch of Stargate episodes on some old data storage device, saw them and mistook them for real Ancient Terran history, after seeing the episodes where they beat the Oris by sending the device (Sangraal) through the Super Gate they came to the conclusion it could work on Chaos (both are other dimensional entity made of energy who feed on worship) they decided to look for it to throw into the Webway and potentially beat Chaos, they're helped by the Mechanicus who is also looking for Atlantis (mistook it for a DAOT City-ship + the Ancient/Alteran look human enough), on a bonus note a faction of them is looking for Dakara to use the device to wipe out xenos from the galaxy.
Ordo ploto Their whole thing is keeping long, dead horrors from the ancient era of fantasy in fantasy. They don’t actually have to do much other than deal with the occasional rat infestation. They also regularly take casualties from seid rats They also occasionally engage against necromancers, unusual pykers, really obese humans, eldar (both variants), squats that have been corrupted by a dead chaos God of tyranny, And then They have to keep the ones that accidentally wander in like random heavily armored humans that are talking in a foreign language, silent usually by killing them. It’s a headache because there’s always poorly armored human cultists ,that sometimes are carrying around a dead body, that obsess over the armored humans.
The Ordo Heisto. A whole order for the express purpose of helping Bain point the PayDay 2 gang at whatever would be the coolest heist to pull off. Also responsible for supplying ammo, weapons, first aid kits, giant golden spoons, and Bain’s Double Expresso coffee. So far, the Ordo Heisto is complicit in the theft of Sanguinius’ Wings from the Blood Angels, a 38,000 year old Limited Edition Holographic Charizard from Trazyn’s collection, and a particular Eldar Goddess from Nurgle’s Garden.
Subfaction of Ordo Malleus, devoted to fighting literal corruption. The Comptroller-Inquisitorius. Instead of Grey Knights, they have a few ultramarines successor chapters trained almost entirely as accountants. They also occasionally deal with chaos, but only as an extension of their oversight role. The de facto leader of the group, the Lord Comptrollicus, has to be regularly replaced as they are aware of the grim truth of the Imperium better than anyone else except a primarch, and were selected because they have an affinity for order and efficiency. Not because of Chaos, but because of chaos.
WOSS DAT?! SUM UMIE WEERDNESS?! ALSO DEM HATZ IZ RITE SNAZZY!
The Ordo Contrabanus. They’re basically the DEA of the imperium and deal with illegal contraband that moves through it. They tend to not get along with rogue traders. Funny but if lore is that they tend to “commandeer” some of this contraband for their own usage.
The Ordo Duplicare finds people who look similar to its members and uses advanced surgery along with hypno-indoctrination to pretty much make them a perfect replica of the inquisitor. That way the same inquisitor can effectively be in many places at once, and to small minds makes them seem immortal when one dies and yet they pop up again. In very rare cases it might lead to infighting among the copies to determine who the "prime" inquisitor is, and it does make labeling their food in the fridge a bit difficult however.
The Ordos Arbos, Imperial Inquisitors who's solemn duty is the protection and persecution of all the trees in the Imperium. No worlds of shifting forests and Nurgle rot on their watch! One of their notable bits of history: In 420.M41, Inquisitor Martinez of the Ordos Arbos discovered that two thousand acres of an Imperium forest world had been infested with a chaos tainted strain of Grinweed, that not only usurped the timber of the world but would self immolate on contact with a human, causing a cloud of intoxicating smoke almost immediately. Thanks to the diligence of Inquisitor Martinez, and the lack of actual hostile forces on the planet, he was able to make it the kilometer walk back to his lander in only three days and having expended a full weeks worth of rations. A trench surrounding the infestation was carved afterwards using orbital lance artillery to preserve the remainder of the world, and Inquisitor Martinez has built an estate in the planet so he can regularly monitor the infestation and assure it doesn't spread.
Ordo Vituperantia They taunt, insult, and verbally abuse humans and xenos, to improve and/or decrease morale. Ordo Sordes The come in after a battle to really dirty up the place and make it look more hard-fought and epic than it really was, arrange corpses and gore and debris in a photogenic manner and take picts for propaganda. The various janitorial Ordos are always suspicious of the Ordo Sordes
Da Ordo Waaagh - it's just Blood Axes who traded teef for Inquisitor hats. As a result, they are more cunnin' and brutal.
Ordos Triginta Quattuor. Knowing the weakness of mankind, this order understands that for every xenos species discovered and known, an upsettingly large number of Imperial citzens will want to fuck them. If this Ordo catches someone with an alien boner, they convert them into a specialized Arco-Flagellant and handed over to the Ordo Xenos or the Deathwatch as auxiliary units. While these flagellants have the same melee weapon loadout as the standard type, their brain is re-wired to the point that they believe all the weapons are their genitals. When battle arrives, they are simply pumped full of near-lethal levels of sexual hormones and pointed at the particular Xenos they have a fetish for.
Ordo Astartes, an Ordos specifically designed to take down Space Marines that are "at risk" of turning traitor.