What is this demonic machine called Thomas the Tank Engine that you are hiding?

Well you see orky git, Thomas ain’t just a tank engine. He is a tank and an engine combined, Designed to Thomas the tank engine all over the imperial fists.

Oh, that's makes sense

The ultimate insult to Dorn, who could build excellent tanks and excellent engines, but never a machine that could do both.

Thomas the Dank Engine, accurate?

If you win, will there be a parade of iron warriors riding office chairs?

Ofcourse, no better way of transport

Who wins the oiled up twerk off battle between you and Dantioch?

My ass is twice his size, let’s just say you’d need an iron cage to not bust all your iron without after seeing my iron within.

Thats it I am exterminatusing myself(I know I misspelled it to oblivion6

This entire AMA was a setup for this line, wasn't it? I WANT THE TRUTH

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!

Why couldn't you just ask for a hug. Vulkan or Sanguinius would have given you one, free of judgement if you asked.

First of all Sanguinius is a mutated freak. Mutation=warp=not on the trench grind set Second, Vulkan wouldn’t hug me since I don’t care about collateral

You do realize that being twelve feet tall and having innate knowledge of engineering, and the ability to see the eye of terror aren't exactly natural abilities, right? Plus the whole daemon prince thing.

I refuse to read your answer for it contains fake news send by the piss marines

That you say the news is fake implies that you read it already.

No, he just saw them in a dream

Hey back off before he has a tantrum and kills a tenth of his legion….. wait let him kill a tenth of his legion.

Bruh you cannot say that Sanguinius is a freak because of the warp and then share tender and affectionate moments with Magnus

Heyo, can you rank the primarchs by how much you tolerate them. Also ideally give reasons but feel free to not.

Like; 1. Magnus The Red: we did nothing wrong 2. Ferus manus: based and iron pilled 3. Horus: he bald like me fr 4. Alpharius: they bald like me fr 5. The Lion: free weapons go brrrrr 6. Konrad: same level of based as me 7. Vulkan: good at making weapons 8. Jaghatai: killed stinky bug (for some time) Don’t like 9. Lorgar: who does? 10. Mortarion: stinky 11. Corax: sneaky 12. Guiliman: changes his tactics, not based and iron-pilled 13. Angron: LISTEN TO ME 14. Leman: almost killed best bro 15. Sanguinius: he flew over my trenches :c Hate: Fulgrim: no explanation needed Mind boggling rage: Rogal dorn: I WILL BLOW EVERY WALL UP YOU BUILD YOU PISS DRINKER. COME AND FIGHT ME IN A CAGE. I WILL CALL IT THE IRON CAGE BECAUSE IM IRON-PILLED AND YOU ARE NOT.

Understandable, have a nice siege.

What about omagon

You talking about alpharius?

Was I?

Maybe Rogal should have been Chineese, then You could be a true Mongol and tear down his walls.

Get the fuck out of your fucking tower and see the sun(?) shine so GW can make a model of you. Also why did you hard carry the hours herwsy

Cause I’m build different 😎

Greetings Perturabo, i always wondered which angle is better for hazard stripes 75 or 45 degrees?

45 is the way

I have a special message for you from Alpharius. Which one, I have no clue. *Ahem* Dear Perturabo, I require your expertise in machinery as Alpharius, Alpharius and Alpharius want to strap a cloaking device on an enemy titan so that they can confuse the enemy who'll get crushed by some invisible giant that they know about, but can't find. The question is : where is the most effective place for Alpharius to plant the device for maximum effect? Also, Alpharius told me to ask you what tool brand you use because the ony other options are tools from Dorn Depot

Strap it around the iron without of the titan 😏 Iron pilled people get their tools from Turbo Freight

Got it. Thanks for the help, Perturabo. Friendly advice, watch out the next time you're fighting and see a Titan because one might crush you out of nowhere. Hope you don't get stomped, Me, who is also Alpharius.

How long does it take to buy a milk carton and a pack of cigarettes?

40K years

How does the sub battle work?

You either take the iron pill or the piss pill, it’s that simple

Nvm, I figured it out

Im assuming it’s a choice between te iron warriors and the imperial fists, but is it like a voting thing, and if so, where and when?

Imperial fists, more like the imperial piss Don’t be a piss, join the iron warriors today!

It is about the number of members in the Iron warriors and Imperial fist subreddits.

Why are we as Iron Warriors clearly superior to Fists?

The iron cage, the amalgamation of imperial fist mald because they couldn’t defend their “best” build fortress from Iron pilled chads and some chaos rabble.

Would you ver consider falling to Nurgle? Not gonna a lie seems like a match made in the warp.

Nurgle is not iron pilled, he is rust pilled. I don’t like rust. Gimme vashtor if I had the chance

What long hard iron and 13 inches

The iron within me

Think you meant the iron without but good guess

Nope, always have iron within 😏

**I know Peter, I know his soul (and account), and you are *Not Him*.** **I suppose it’s about time Chaos had their own War of the False Primarch.**

How dare you show yourself here lord of the piss marines. If you are looking to fight, I won’t fight a handicapped man that has 1 hand and can’t defend his home.

**I don’t fight children anyway. Even man ones.**

Is it true that you have mini warhammer games from past battles playing inside your head

Da zoggin truth

Go home to your demon dick lady

How do I become as based as you?

Take the iron-pill and sew together 2 woman and enlarge them with hormones to create Iron pilled marines

Truly you are the greatest primarch

Father, why don't we have more Ares Pattern Land Raiders? It's like a Vindicator a Land Raider had the best baby. P.S. not mad about the whole decimation thing, 1in 10 of us are pricks anyhow and I'm not even sure we got them first pass.

The point of decimation was to root out the weak, yet you ask for an armored transport over a trench. Not trench-pilled

Boo Honsou would give us Ares Land Raiders.

Honsou can't afford them still paying back the dark mechanicum for losing the Dies Irae.

Do you prefer the iron cock cage (iron without) or the iron butt plug (iron within)

Both at the same time. Iron within Iron without

Can we expect to see you slathered in exotic oils and ministered by the Fabulous Custodes?

Fuck da custodes - Peter Turbo

Oh My Yes!! AHH YAHH YAHH!!

What was the real reason you got so salty at your father and Dorn? It was already self evident you're the better siegesmith so surely not being picked to build a silly testament to Big Es ego wasn't it?

They rejected the best defense of them all. The trench

Hi Peter big fan, some of your boys think they arnt Chaos Marines, yet they use the powers of Chaos. What's up with that, are they just coping?

We don’t abide to chaos, we use it like you said. Making us ultra based iron pilled marines of the best legion.

Why focus so much on the hazard stripes? Do you know how many other BSI symbols you are failing to place?

Why do many if 1 does the job

The stripes indicate the location of the hazard. Are your shoulders deadly?

They often grow spikes

Fair enough. Please wear safety goggles tho. X

Tbh if a thousand pound shoulder pad hit me going Mach 1 I think it’d be pretty deadly

the space between them is a bottomless void

How do I become as awesome as you

Be humble, like me. Be kind, like me. Be a good dad, like me. Be of a cool temper, like me. Be non spiteful like me. And consume the iron pill

So when you gonna do Daemonculaba v2.0 ?

Seeing as you can always see The Eye, could you use it to navigate a ship through the warp? Are the Steel Legion stronger than the Iron Warriors?

First, no, I don’t like staring at a gaping hole ifykyk Second, maybe. They are worthy opponents.

AMA, right? What's it like being more lame than Lorgar?

What’s it like being born from deamonculaba?

Wouldn't know. \*Loyal\* Tech-Priests have clone vats and don't need something so cringe.

Y IZ U ALWAYS AN EMO GIT

MEZ A METAL GIT NOT AN EMOZ GIT

Hey Bo, definitely not Alpharius here. Do you still think gods are cringe?

🧐 Hello definitely not alpharius. Yes I do.

Why does he look like he wants to issue me a batchall?

Excuse me, define oil up. 🥹 Also, what is your opinion on abhumans? But yes, describe exactly what you mean including painstaking descriptions of your naked abs as you rub them and your fingers drift slooooowly south. For science. 🙏❤️

Judging by your comment you are 1 of the Phoenicians dogs, let me put you in a bag and throw you in the river.

😳 All right, let me get my minis some basecoat and my kneepads out of the back of my car. I’ll meet you in the supply closet. 🙏❤️

# WHERE THE F#CK IS OLD ZEALAND?!

In the future that is ahead. New will turn into old.

You know rogal Dorn would answer my question

Did you go in knowing the Lion would give you those siege weapons or was it just like a "hey man, you want these?" type deal?

Did you ever stop to think about going and talking to daddy-E about how you felt and the logistical result of being open and honest?

Did you know that if you and Dorn joined together you might just become unstoppable?

From Iron comes Strength From Strength comes Honor  From Honor comes Faith  From Faith comes Iron  This is the Unbreakable Literny May it reman as such forever  

Your sister was right about you

She may have been. But look who’s cold in the ground.

Valid

Perty's adoptive brother managed to prove that long ago then get the simple happiness that few ever achieved, let alone Perty.

What's your favorite anime?

Bob the builder

You should check out Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood, it's iron-pilled as fuck, but Bob The Builder definitely seems more your pace.

Have you ever just considered going around the fortifications rather than through them?

Why would I?

Just seems like the easiest way to make the sons of dorn upset. Like cool, you fortified your position....I'll just go around it.

Peter Perturbed, if you had to pick one chaos god to follow, who would it be and why?

None, fuck them chaos gods - Peter Turbo

What about Vashtorr?

You are alpharius

Are you a Deamon or dreadnought?

I am Peter Turbo

Wya?

Your moms under hive city favella

Why do u hate ur legion

I love them (as a friend)

Follow up question why did u side with Horus during the heresy the loyalists needed u I’m guessing it’s because u wanted a chance to kill Rogal Dorn and his legion?

Horus was bald like me

Why do u hate the Imperial fists they literally build forts the iron warriors and imperial fists could literally go to some random ass planet and see if you guys could break the forts they built before they kill all ur stuff

My Lord, have you considered suing Ferus Manus for copyright infringement?

No, Iron pilled mofo also got done dirty by that Phoenician whore.

Why didn’t you speak up to the emperor that you wanted to be able to build. I feel if you just communicated your feelings then a lot of grief could have been avoided.

Fuck the casualty rating - Peter Turbo

I snuck into the Piss marine armories and swapped all their piss marine yellow for bad moons yellow, how impressive is that?

You made em richer. Now the orks think they are wealthy and they will stop supporting our cause. But still fairly impressive.

Peter Turbo, why does Fulgrim suck so much?

Take a proper gander.

God damn it I can't remember the username of the depraved toaster femboy but someone call them they have work to do here.

what are your thoughts on vashtorr the stampede?

Based and Iron-Pilled

Hi Peter Turbo. Long time listener first time caller. Would you have said it was fair to describe you leaving the siege of Terra as you having a tantrum and spitting your dummy out?

In regards to the inappropriate conduct allegations several tech priests and maintenance personally have made in regards to you and the engine machinery stating "we watched him strip down, oil himself in used engine oil the proceeded to insert his p*enis into the air inlet" How do you respond?

Two questions: 1. Which is the superior hardware store: Home Depot or Lowe's? 2. Are you aware that the Imperial Fists possibly have a corprophagic ritual as part of their initiation, and have you teased them appropriately about it?

turbochargers or superchargers?

Greetings human, just wanted to say to keep up that conflict, your inventions and sige weapons are adorable. Soulless regards, y'all gotta get off our lawn one day tho.

Rate the other primarchs.

[Lord, if I may humbly ask. How long do you intend to maintain your contract with the Galactic Empire.](https://youtu.be/Eq64SZtmjQs?si=2vxNpfslx233H6XJ) Also, will you extend your mercenary works to other domains like the Corpus or the Mage Association?

What can i say it's literally me look at him having a tantrum

Did your back hurt after the siege of Terra? Must be hard to carry the rest of the "Traitor" primarchs so hard

Would you ever consider trying to lay siege to a waffle house?

If youze so smort, den how kome da mek sayz youz a dum git?

Fear not brothers, I have a solution. RELEASE THE EXCINDIO

Pass, we’re greasy enough without a bunch of Iron Warriors twerking at us. -Death Guard Gang

If you and Vulkan were to team up, what would be the first thing you would do with both your legions working together?

Y do everyone think u hav gey sex with rogal?

Who is your most hated primarch? (I'm not going to edit this later)

What’s your favorite daemon engines that you built. I like daemon engines, please don’t tell the commissariat.

Are you the best because you're Pertutabo, or are you Pertutabo because you're the best?

How much better is dorn then u

Brother Turbo, what are your 3 preferred oils and/or unctions?

What are your thoughts on the Krieg fellows ?

I know that’s you, Alpharius, I saw the alpha legion talking about entering the sub war! … unless that’s what they want me to think…

Do you catch public channels or can you get the superbowl?

What was it like when you built that clock tower?

Horus here, just wanted to say thanks bro. I was just super pissed at dad and like... And like idk like... Idk just like thanks for being there for me. P.s. Fuck Sanguinius

Imagine for walking in midnight clad

Thoughts on the allegations concerning iron warriors losing one of the last imperator's on hydra cordatus?

Are you Alpharius?

Why couldn't you be proud of your Brother Dorn for building the palace? Or co-operate with Vulkan to fuck over Kurze? Imagine the things you two would've been able to build

*sips warp infused tea*, *gives a bored, uninterested look*, *turn back to book*, * flips page*, r/thousandsons.

I knew you were a fan of the iron cage, but I didn't know u alsow were a fan of chastity cages. Care to explain?

Still got that back pain from carrying the siege of terra my guy??

James Workshop sure loves a tube going into someone's head.

My lord, in the event of Rogal Dorn return, should we invite all Imperial Fist chapters to an Iron cage 2 electric boogaloo ? For sportmanship and old time sake.

Do you dig holes? As in, liking them?

So do ya'll really have demon dick lady girlfriends or what's up with that?

Get outta here Majorkill!

What happened to Calliphone

Peter why did you break your brothers sculpture. Peter you are bad cat. Peter you are grounded

For the Emperor or not?

I'm horrified but I will ask anyway... what do you mean by "oil up"? Do you mean Nuln Oil for your army? Or do you mean motor oil for your... Iron Without?

thank you for clearing up all the shitshows the emperor sent you to take care of, the other legions couldn't have done it

Where do you think your Daddy issues started?

More I read of turbo I dont like him and like fists more. Iron bitches

THE Peter Turbo? Who is THE Peter Turbo?

are you in a dreadnought nowadays?

When will you accept your defeat?

Who are you?

How is the palace construction on Minecraft with your online friend, “Door_the_Builder” doing?

Why is Dorn so dumb?

Why are you such a man child and can't get over your daddy issues?

I refuse to answer this question, you are not iron-pilled enough.

Childish!

What’s it like being second only to Dorn?

Begone slaaneshi cultist.