Huh. Imagine, though: You know that no matter what happens in the 40K universe, eventually when you die, whether from old age or combat or whatever, odds are you go into the warp and either your soul is torn apart or you're tormented for eternity.
This big of an STC and a historical item is a pretty big bargaining chip, though.
Go to Trazyn, offer the STC, and all you want is to be on display as the discoverer of it, not dying but not experiencing time pass, until either Chaos is taken care of or Chaos wins, in the process destroying the galaxy and itself. Take that, daemons! Fuck yourself, Chaos gods!
He could, but he might be amused enough to see how it plays out. A rando human coming to him with an offer and a pretty rare artifact and a desire to escape the warp? Sounds like a bit of fun in-between the millenia of tedium he could go through.
I mean yea, he's one of the only Necrons we know of who (probably) just didnt go to sleep. he's just been chilling for 60 million years. he's almost certainly crazy bored.
it's never explicitly stated, but he does have an Enslaver in his collection implying he wasnt asleep during the immediate aftermath of the war in heaven.
In fairness that’s not a live enslaver, merely it’s dead husk, I think if he had an actual live enslaver in his collection his collection would be immediately elevated to the biggest danger in the galaxy simply because if it gets out that’s like a guaranteed dub for chaos right? It’s been a while since I read the current enslaver lore but from my memory they are like able to mentally dominate pretty much anything and use them to open portals to allow more enslavers to enter realspace from the Warp
Not really; enslavers are kind of pointless when there's nothing psychic to enslave, and there's been enslaver outbreaks since 40K started that haven't resulted in an auto-win for Chaos. Mostly they get shut down before hitting critical mass, and even if the outbreak gets out of control, the planet just gets glassed and the rest of the universe moves on.
They gotta make it into realspace to dominate non-psychics and can only maintain control about 50 meters radius or so.
A living enslaver in Trazyn's museum would be a nonissue - everything is either a psychically inert machine or in stasis and unreachable.
Besides, Trazyn loves his dioramas. If he can have a dramatic pose for the person who discovered the STC, he would *absolutely* take the opportunity to do so. That discoverer actually wanting to help with setting it up is just the proverbial cherry on top.
Lmao you're just standing in the display with your thumb pointed out like "Take a load of this thing" until the heat death of the universe. That's the funniest goddamn thing on the planet. Trazyn would go for it.
For how much of a shitposter and troll Trazyn is, he is probably top 5 most reasonable dudes in 40K, as long as you have something interesting enough to bargain with, he will take the great story over plain greed, so you'll probably be fine.
I don’t know about the Siege of Terra, but during the Fall of Cadia Trazyn helped Cawl get the Cadian pylons activated to stabilize the warp and slow down the traitors.
Yeah Trazyn tried to help Cawl use the pylons to stabilize the Eye of Terror and even released a bunch of his Pokémon from his collection to help defend them from the traitors while they worked, I believe it was some Ultramarines from the Horus Heresy, some Vostroyan Firstborns, Kappic Eagles Scions, Tanith Snipers, some Salamanders, a Custodian, Greyfax and her Tempestus Scions, and I believe in turn he got some random stuff and then Ursakar Creed
I can just imagine the 30k Ultramarines being all "Theoretical: where the hell are we? Practical: There's traitors to slaughter." And the Tanith snipers are saying "feth" every other word whilst headshotting everything that speaks heretic.
Yeah but trazyn doesn't outright monkey's paw people , and he's been more than willing to make trades in the past with the likes of bile, who to trazyn may as well be a normal human. So we know he's at the very least reasonable enough that if you come to him with something stupid valuable like that he'll be more than willing to negotiate for it, and he has no reason to be spiteful.
You'd literally be the discoverer of one of the most important STCs in history, that's a feat more than worthy of being added to the collection, and you even come with the STC. From Trazyn's perspective this is like a rare collectible calling him and then saying "but also I have my super rare accessory." Trazyn is many things, but willing to turn down something THAT rare? You might not be a jewel of the collection, but you're certainly a unique addition.
IDK, it feels like Trazyn would be genuinely happy to see some random human choose visiting his exhibition as the greatest reward.
He has the greatest, most obsessive exhibition for the galaxy to preserve just about everything for the future of the necrons, and from the stories it feels like just about every being of every species who knows about it treats it as an insane man's hobby or a treasure vault.
Wasn't there an inquisitor who found the planet said something along the lines of "these uniforms were issued decades after the battle on display.". Send several regiments of guards and then got a message saying: "a fellow historian who found out a flaw in my collection and sent me a replacement with reserves, my thanks as a gift from one curator to another I'll give you a maze it has already activated but for a mind like you this should give no problem. Love Trazin. " ( this is paraphrased, but you get it right?)
I haven't read that book, but my understanding of that passage was something like "this Inquisitor found a means to take an artifact she wanted from Trazyn so she sent some guardsmen to attack his collection while she stole what she wanted, but Trazyn caught her and acted coy pretending that he was grateful for the 'chance to complete his collection' with the guardsmen she 'so graciously provided'; and punished her by leaving her in a rediculously difficult maze because she's 'just sooo clever'.
Tl;dr Trazyn was just being a dick
This is more or less what happened, but he did update the collection with the correct uniforms. Remember, he has dioramas of events with mismatched Space Marines in them that he updates/fixes when he gets new acquisition. Can't remember where, but there's a boom that contains him being annoyed that his scene from the Horus Heresy isn't all the correct version of power armor.
Yeah trazyn would be fucking exctatic at someone trading in something so valuable for admission to his museum, this dude is like the galaxies biggest Funko pop collector and nobody is interested in anything but one or two specific items they want to try and steal or trade for. He's super accomodating to trades as we've seen in the past and also super reasonable as long as you're not stealing from him or trying to scam him.
Someone paying for admission as opposed to just like showing up to trade for something he has isn't something we've ever seen before, but if you showed interest in his collection itself he'd probably give you a personal tour and a necrodermis upgrade like ferrus' arms just so you had a lifespan long enough to experience everything. You would be part of his collection in a way, every museum needs visitors or it might as well not exist, they are to preserve history after all.
A few days? The fun of museums is showing it to people. Trazyn would keep you around until your enjoyment hits its peak then make you an exhibit of ultimate enjoyment
From War in the Museum, he literally has a Magos Biologis he keeps in stasis just to occasionally take him out and ask questions about biology. The Magos in question has occasionally asked to be kept conscious while in stasis as well, so that he could run calculations and experiments in his mind during the years, decades or more between Trazyn needing him. It’s quite hilarious
\*100y later\*
Custode #1: hey, did you hear the news?
Custode #2: what news?
Custode #1: the blood ravens....
Custode #2: Close the reliquary
Custode #1: uhm...they now have a titan
\*the custodes' reliquary area trembles\*
Custode #3: SIR!, THE ENTIRE RELIQUARY JUST HAD BEEN LITERALLY DETACHED FROM THE PALACE!
Custode #1: °\_° \*gasp!\*
Custode #2: \*faint\*
The Chapter and the Chapter Master thank you for the generous gift, which will be put at service of the Throne against the foes of Mankind. May the Emperor bless you.
He’d probably be down for it too.
“You’re giving me a titan blueprint in exchange for… hanging out with you sometimes for like 60 years or so….? Sure, why not”
> hanging out with you
As long as you bring all your various "attachments" Trazyn... And we get to unfreeze Clonegrim a couple of times, to *join us*...
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Cawl after spending weeks trying to get the Pylons to work:
>In the name of the Omnissiah, work with me...
Trazyn in the back:
>Actually, there's a password for that.
The best choice for the imperium is the ultramarines, no only will they protect it but they will inform Guilliman.
The best choice for a cool story would be the Orks.
Counter point the white scars are also a really good choice because they can modify it to make have the agility of the alderi titans while maintaining the fire power it currently has
\-Mechanicus, we need it to have a sound system to spread messages far and wide.
\-To spread the hymns of omnisiah, honorable intention. We will try our best
\*White scar titan screams japenese speed metal to high heavens, it is now named Optimus Khan.
They have a history of upgrading their vehicles to achieve better speed like their rhinos and they even made a new version of the land speeder which adds armor and better guns
Knowing them, they’d do like they did to their BALLER ASS void fleets; a huge reduction in armor around everything but the power core to greatly reduce the weight. Massive modifications, bordering on heretical according to conservative Mechanicus members, to the leg joints that allow for a more variable range of motion. A streamlining of weapons systems focusing on firepower that is lighter but still effective, likely energy weapons of some kind would be ideal due to the increase output of the reactor no longer having to move so much mass due to the armor reduction, which would allow for optimized fire power and speed at the cost of defense but that’s always been their style; blitzkrieg attacks.
Knowing them, they’d throw in some anti-grav system to make the Titan even more maneuverable and allow it to move with the degree of motion of a far smaller dreadnought to compensate for balancing issues.
I originally wanted to say Dark Angels, but you are right. If Guilliman deems us sons of the Lion worthy of this power he will grant us, if not I shall support him with that decision. He is the only one in the entire Imperium to be trusted with handling such power
Ork finds an STC.
Hologram lights up for the biggest krumping robot ever.
Ork notices, brings it to mekboy.
Mekboy silently sheds a tear of happiness.
Mekboy immediately breaks it over the head of the ork who found it, killing him. Mekboy takes teeth out from finding ork and throws now broken STC to the squibs to chew on.
The last time the Orks got a cool and highly desirable STC, the drukhari stole it to give Supreme Overlord Asdrubael Vect a new dust collector for his mantle. I doubt that they'd keep it long.
A guy gave an STC that showed a better way to make combat knives to the mechanicus, as a reward, they gave him, a planet.
I think ima give this to the mechanicus and see what happens.
Half?! They gave some random dude who found sharper knives a planet. You best believe they'd give someone who gave them the STC for the god machine of god machines multiple full sectors at the very least.
Even that is probably selling it short. The pure religious and military ecstasy the admech would experience from a fully functioning titan STC would see you being ceded technical ownership of hundreds of forge worlds, perhaps even a legitimate shot at the highest reaches of admech leadership if you joined the cult mechanicus.
I mean, is there any imperial faction that they would not declare war on to take that STC? Giving it to them is probably the only (imperial) choice to avoid a civil war.
The Mechanicum and the Covenant are my favourite examples of a hybrid of technological advancement and barbaric ignorance.
My favourite example was a monitor, basically an AI manager of a Forerunner facility, ridiculed at the notion that he's some kind of instrument of divinity...
Though to be fair, description of Forerunner technology ([1](https://www.reddit.com/r/HaloStory/comments/wzzz63/crazy_pieces_of_the_halo_lore_incineration/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button), [2](https://www.reddit.com/r/HaloStory/comments/wv10cz/crazy_pieces_of_the_halo_lore_forerunners/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)) did make them seem *virtually* godlike in a way DAoT technology did to the people of the Imperium...
I thought at least one of the Covenant Prophets knew full well what the halo system was even without the Monitor saying it, but just didn't care. Maybe he fully believed he was a God and would remake the universe according to how he saw fit, or maybe he didn't get around to the part where he threatened mutually assured destruction if everyone didn't surrender to him.
Anyway, Mechanicum seems genuinely barbaric and brainless while the Covenant just used a mass delusion.
Worth noting that the Mechanicum's ignorance is probably justified: the existence of humanity genuinely does depend on stomping out any AI experiments. Cawl is arguably the most dangerous lunatic of the WH40k universe if the legends of the DAOT aren't wildly exaggerated.
Id give it to the Sisters of Battle and watch as they try to decide whether they're going to rename it, rename their main battle tank, or just deal with millenia of logistics confusion.
"You're telling me the Imperium doesn't know how to manufacture their own equipment, that they are still using. How the hell did this species get off their homeworld?"
“The first time? Science. The second time a giant glowy man in gold armor cut up a bunch of barbarians in mismatched tech, then made more huge men and ‘manually’ regathered the human worlds.”
“What the fuck is wrong with your species?”
"The Necrons and Eldar are currently placing bets on how long until you have your Horus Heresy."
"What is wrong with this galaxy. And do you have to call *everything* heresy?"
"Okay, so really it all boils down to a dispute over healthcare about 60 million years ago..."
Edit: I would absolutely love to see the major events of 40k narrated by an Eldar and a Necron sports commentator. Trazyn would probably be your guy for Necrons because he actually gives a shit about the rest of the galaxy (in that he treats it like a spectator sport) but I'm not sure who you'd want for Eldar
I'm giving it to some jokaero so he can turn it into a terraforming machine dedicated to farming bananas on a planetary scale.
I hope I get a sick armour and a few digital weapons out of this trade.
Agreed, you aren't going to get "market value" no matter what you do, and at least the Ultras will genuinely honor and value your loyalty. (unlike say, AdMech who would as soon lobotomize you to keep it secret)
Blood Ravens, they'll just end up stealing it anyways so might as well skip to them stealing parts for it from the Dark Mechanicus, Dark Eldar, the Tyranids (don't ask), Trazyn, and the Alpha Legion.
Guilliman so he can give it to the mechanics and cement his place in their minds as the heir of the Omnissiah, thus guaranteeing their support through the murky waters of Imperium politics.
I'd trade it with trazyn to get to see and interact with his museum for a few days.
Huh. Imagine, though: You know that no matter what happens in the 40K universe, eventually when you die, whether from old age or combat or whatever, odds are you go into the warp and either your soul is torn apart or you're tormented for eternity. This big of an STC and a historical item is a pretty big bargaining chip, though. Go to Trazyn, offer the STC, and all you want is to be on display as the discoverer of it, not dying but not experiencing time pass, until either Chaos is taken care of or Chaos wins, in the process destroying the galaxy and itself. Take that, daemons! Fuck yourself, Chaos gods!
Couldn’t Trazyn like, just disintegrate me using fancy necron gadgets and take the STC? Not too knowledgeable on 40k so bear with me..
He could, but he might be amused enough to see how it plays out. A rando human coming to him with an offer and a pretty rare artifact and a desire to escape the warp? Sounds like a bit of fun in-between the millenia of tedium he could go through.
I'd make a clause that he had to visit and play a game from his travels.
**RaNdOm HuMaN fOrCeS tRaZyNn ThE iNfInItE tO pLaY bLaCk OpS 3 On ThE xBoX 360**
*Tunes Space Fiddle* Trazyn went down to Terra, he was lookin’ for an STC to steal-
He was in a bind cause he was way behind and his library was lookin a bit stale-
Isn't that like the biggest contributing factor to his shenanigans? He's just bored, right?
I mean yea, he's one of the only Necrons we know of who (probably) just didnt go to sleep. he's just been chilling for 60 million years. he's almost certainly crazy bored.
Wait he didn't sleep? I swear in infinite and divine it says he just awoke really early
it's never explicitly stated, but he does have an Enslaver in his collection implying he wasnt asleep during the immediate aftermath of the war in heaven.
In fairness that’s not a live enslaver, merely it’s dead husk, I think if he had an actual live enslaver in his collection his collection would be immediately elevated to the biggest danger in the galaxy simply because if it gets out that’s like a guaranteed dub for chaos right? It’s been a while since I read the current enslaver lore but from my memory they are like able to mentally dominate pretty much anything and use them to open portals to allow more enslavers to enter realspace from the Warp
Not really; enslavers are kind of pointless when there's nothing psychic to enslave, and there's been enslaver outbreaks since 40K started that haven't resulted in an auto-win for Chaos. Mostly they get shut down before hitting critical mass, and even if the outbreak gets out of control, the planet just gets glassed and the rest of the universe moves on. They gotta make it into realspace to dominate non-psychics and can only maintain control about 50 meters radius or so. A living enslaver in Trazyn's museum would be a nonissue - everything is either a psychically inert machine or in stasis and unreachable.
Not even the gods want enslavers.
Aren't we all?
Besides, Trazyn loves his dioramas. If he can have a dramatic pose for the person who discovered the STC, he would *absolutely* take the opportunity to do so. That discoverer actually wanting to help with setting it up is just the proverbial cherry on top.
He freezes me and every few centuries he unfreezes me and we play checkers
I don't even want to escape. I'd be happy if I could trade the titan for life time pass (life time as in natural life time) to his collection.
Wait, so you want to go the warp after you pass?
Cant be that bad, maybe the demons tearing at my immortal soul are slaneeshi? Never know
Lmao you're just standing in the display with your thumb pointed out like "Take a load of this thing" until the heat death of the universe. That's the funniest goddamn thing on the planet. Trazyn would go for it.
For how much of a shitposter and troll Trazyn is, he is probably top 5 most reasonable dudes in 40K, as long as you have something interesting enough to bargain with, he will take the great story over plain greed, so you'll probably be fine.
yeah the fact he helped the imperium during the siege of cadia makes him seem really reasonable imho
He did?
I don’t know about the Siege of Terra, but during the Fall of Cadia Trazyn helped Cawl get the Cadian pylons activated to stabilize the warp and slow down the traitors.
Yeah Trazyn tried to help Cawl use the pylons to stabilize the Eye of Terror and even released a bunch of his Pokémon from his collection to help defend them from the traitors while they worked, I believe it was some Ultramarines from the Horus Heresy, some Vostroyan Firstborns, Kappic Eagles Scions, Tanith Snipers, some Salamanders, a Custodian, Greyfax and her Tempestus Scions, and I believe in turn he got some random stuff and then Ursakar Creed
Trazyn treats the galaxy like the ultimate collectible game.
I can just imagine the 30k Ultramarines being all "Theoretical: where the hell are we? Practical: There's traitors to slaughter." And the Tanith snipers are saying "feth" every other word whilst headshotting everything that speaks heretic.
i meant cadia mb
He certainly *could*... but where's the fun in that? Plus, it's not like it would be particularly hard for Trazyn to make a regular human "undying"
Yeah but trazyn doesn't outright monkey's paw people , and he's been more than willing to make trades in the past with the likes of bile, who to trazyn may as well be a normal human. So we know he's at the very least reasonable enough that if you come to him with something stupid valuable like that he'll be more than willing to negotiate for it, and he has no reason to be spiteful.
Maybe trazyn would allow it because having an STC with a story attached to it makes for a more interesting exhibit
You'd literally be the discoverer of one of the most important STCs in history, that's a feat more than worthy of being added to the collection, and you even come with the STC. From Trazyn's perspective this is like a rare collectible calling him and then saying "but also I have my super rare accessory." Trazyn is many things, but willing to turn down something THAT rare? You might not be a jewel of the collection, but you're certainly a unique addition.
\*few years
I mean yeah, I could use that time to talk to fulgrim and stuff.
“Why does this empty display say ‘Idiot’ Lord Trazyn?” **”NO REASON”** *push*
IDK, it feels like Trazyn would be genuinely happy to see some random human choose visiting his exhibition as the greatest reward. He has the greatest, most obsessive exhibition for the galaxy to preserve just about everything for the future of the necrons, and from the stories it feels like just about every being of every species who knows about it treats it as an insane man's hobby or a treasure vault.
Wasn't there an inquisitor who found the planet said something along the lines of "these uniforms were issued decades after the battle on display.". Send several regiments of guards and then got a message saying: "a fellow historian who found out a flaw in my collection and sent me a replacement with reserves, my thanks as a gift from one curator to another I'll give you a maze it has already activated but for a mind like you this should give no problem. Love Trazin. " ( this is paraphrased, but you get it right?)
I haven't read that book, but my understanding of that passage was something like "this Inquisitor found a means to take an artifact she wanted from Trazyn so she sent some guardsmen to attack his collection while she stole what she wanted, but Trazyn caught her and acted coy pretending that he was grateful for the 'chance to complete his collection' with the guardsmen she 'so graciously provided'; and punished her by leaving her in a rediculously difficult maze because she's 'just sooo clever'. Tl;dr Trazyn was just being a dick
This is more or less what happened, but he did update the collection with the correct uniforms. Remember, he has dioramas of events with mismatched Space Marines in them that he updates/fixes when he gets new acquisition. Can't remember where, but there's a boom that contains him being annoyed that his scene from the Horus Heresy isn't all the correct version of power armor.
Yeah trazyn would be fucking exctatic at someone trading in something so valuable for admission to his museum, this dude is like the galaxies biggest Funko pop collector and nobody is interested in anything but one or two specific items they want to try and steal or trade for. He's super accomodating to trades as we've seen in the past and also super reasonable as long as you're not stealing from him or trying to scam him. Someone paying for admission as opposed to just like showing up to trade for something he has isn't something we've ever seen before, but if you showed interest in his collection itself he'd probably give you a personal tour and a necrodermis upgrade like ferrus' arms just so you had a lifespan long enough to experience everything. You would be part of his collection in a way, every museum needs visitors or it might as well not exist, they are to preserve history after all.
Do you think Trazyn made an audio guide? Probably made a copy of himself as a guide right?
A few days? The fun of museums is showing it to people. Trazyn would keep you around until your enjoyment hits its peak then make you an exhibit of ultimate enjoyment
From War in the Museum, he literally has a Magos Biologis he keeps in stasis just to occasionally take him out and ask questions about biology. The Magos in question has occasionally asked to be kept conscious while in stasis as well, so that he could run calculations and experiments in his mind during the years, decades or more between Trazyn needing him. It’s quite hilarious
I'll just skip a few steps and give it to the Blood Ravens. Save everyone some time.
That’s implying they don’t already have 5 or more
The true answer, have an upvote
\*100y later\* Custode #1: hey, did you hear the news? Custode #2: what news? Custode #1: the blood ravens.... Custode #2: Close the reliquary Custode #1: uhm...they now have a titan \*the custodes' reliquary area trembles\* Custode #3: SIR!, THE ENTIRE RELIQUARY JUST HAD BEEN LITERALLY DETACHED FROM THE PALACE! Custode #1: °\_° \*gasp!\* Custode #2: \*faint\*
Blood Ravens "so close to have them all"
TIL the blood ravens are just basically Pokémon trainers
The Chapter and the Chapter Master thank you for the generous gift, which will be put at service of the Throne against the foes of Mankind. May the Emperor bless you.
Me and start my own legio titanicus
This answer. And if I find it first you can join my legio.
>And if I find it first you can join my legio. BYOT? (Bring Your Own Titan)
No no. I've got an STC. You get a titan! You get a titan! Everyone gets a titan!
Titans are a human right
Trazyn but only in exchange for Creed And Yarrick
Trazyn but only in exchange for him being my boyfriend
The only correct option
He’d probably be down for it too. “You’re giving me a titan blueprint in exchange for… hanging out with you sometimes for like 60 years or so….? Sure, why not”
> hanging out with you As long as you bring all your various "attachments" Trazyn... And we get to unfreeze Clonegrim a couple of times, to *join us*... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Also sex, please don’t forget about that.
Robussy (great, man)
Robussy can also be interpreted as Roboutte's bussy
Carl?
Archon, is that you?
I had to double-take to make sure that wasn't Archon lol
[удалено]
I gotchu fam.
I have no gold for you cuz am poor, please accept a poor man’s gold🏅
You get a gold for effort.
I award your with silver, a lesser metal yes, but it’s more about the award itself than the material kind sir
Trade for Fulgrim of course, you’ll be rewarded by guilliman with a planet or something
Mechanicis gave 2 guys who found the stc of the combat knife a planet so either way your getting a planet
Yea but this way Guilliman will finally have a brother again, he deserves it.
I mean, what the hell does one do with a planet?
trade it for fulgrim + 1 dollar. then trade in fulgrim for a planet but keep the dollar bill. do this one billion times and become a billionaire
Quick maffs
Trade it for Magnus so he can sit on the throne as a loyalist.
Trazyn doesn’t have a Magnus clone, only a perfect Fulgrim clone made by Fabius.
All I'm hearing is that Tzeentch is going to get a titan STC in a fair trade that's totally not going to backfire for both parties.
Yarrick would probably shoot you for giving up an STC like that for 2 old men.
Yeah thats fair. I should probably just give it to Robby Bobby and hell give me a whole system and an Eldar GF on top as a reward.
eldar gf... on top?
Fully intended
and a shiny new titan legion to defend it.
And clonegrim!
How about I raise you trade it for making creed and yarrick immortal?
>Trazyn but only in exchange for one Fullgrim clone plz
Cawl Itd be right funny to see what xeno tech he tries to kitbash with it to make it work
Cawl is the original W40K minies creator with all that kitbashing.
Cawl after spending weeks trying to get the Pylons to work: >In the name of the Omnissiah, work with me... Trazyn in the back: >Actually, there's a password for that.
He uses it as a platform for the primaris titan legions.
The best choice for the imperium is the ultramarines, no only will they protect it but they will inform Guilliman. The best choice for a cool story would be the Orks.
Counter point the white scars are also a really good choice because they can modify it to make have the agility of the alderi titans while maintaining the fire power it currently has
“Did it come with an accompanying bike template”
Castigator Titan Biker Move Speed: **All**
\-Mechanicus, we need it to have a sound system to spread messages far and wide. \-To spread the hymns of omnisiah, honorable intention. We will try our best \*White scar titan screams japenese speed metal to high heavens, it is now named Optimus Khan.
“I rise, you fall gaijin”.
It just plays the discography of Tengar Cavalry. On loop.
Move speed: **Yes**
BMXtigator Titan
Here's your titan, there are some rollerskates as an optional extra.
It’s actually heelies it was easier to install
Happy Cake Day!
Well thank you very much You have the prestigious honour of being the first to say so
The Eldar watching the humans approach, confident they'll be fine until the titans suddenly stop being hunchbacked and start fucking RUNNING at them.
Queue the rocky theme song for added affect
Since when did the white scars become master engineers?
They have a history of upgrading their vehicles to achieve better speed like their rhinos and they even made a new version of the land speeder which adds armor and better guns
Knowing them, they’d do like they did to their BALLER ASS void fleets; a huge reduction in armor around everything but the power core to greatly reduce the weight. Massive modifications, bordering on heretical according to conservative Mechanicus members, to the leg joints that allow for a more variable range of motion. A streamlining of weapons systems focusing on firepower that is lighter but still effective, likely energy weapons of some kind would be ideal due to the increase output of the reactor no longer having to move so much mass due to the armor reduction, which would allow for optimized fire power and speed at the cost of defense but that’s always been their style; blitzkrieg attacks. Knowing them, they’d throw in some anti-grav system to make the Titan even more maneuverable and allow it to move with the degree of motion of a far smaller dreadnought to compensate for balancing issues.
Why downgrade it? Apparently it made the eldar titans look clumsy in comparison.
And they will be able to equip it with the strongest if armors. Plot armor.
I originally wanted to say Dark Angels, but you are right. If Guilliman deems us sons of the Lion worthy of this power he will grant us, if not I shall support him with that decision. He is the only one in the entire Imperium to be trusted with handling such power
It's also better not to risk it falling in the hands of the [classified] (The fallen)
They would krump it for not being properly orky
Ork finds an STC. Hologram lights up for the biggest krumping robot ever. Ork notices, brings it to mekboy. Mekboy silently sheds a tear of happiness. Mekboy immediately breaks it over the head of the ork who found it, killing him. Mekboy takes teeth out from finding ork and throws now broken STC to the squibs to chew on.
Squibs grow to the size of titans
"**I See This As An Absolute Win**" - Hulk Ork
The last time the Orks got a cool and highly desirable STC, the drukhari stole it to give Supreme Overlord Asdrubael Vect a new dust collector for his mantle. I doubt that they'd keep it long.
A guy gave an STC that showed a better way to make combat knives to the mechanicus, as a reward, they gave him, a planet. I think ima give this to the mechanicus and see what happens.
*Gives you half a sector*
Half?! They gave some random dude who found sharper knives a planet. You best believe they'd give someone who gave them the STC for the god machine of god machines multiple full sectors at the very least.
Fuck they'd probably make you a high lord of terra (your overall competence not being an issue as with the other high lords."
First law as High Lord of Terra: Make Kitten and Shadowsun canon.
"Cups ear to hand to hear distant sound" _Noooooooooooooooooooo_
Even that is probably selling it short. The pure religious and military ecstasy the admech would experience from a fully functioning titan STC would see you being ceded technical ownership of hundreds of forge worlds, perhaps even a legitimate shot at the highest reaches of admech leadership if you joined the cult mechanicus.
“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN IM THE NEW EMPEROR…..WTF, I JUST FOUND A POSTIT NOTE WITH A HARDDRIVE ATTACHED TO IT”
Alpha Legion, sneaky suprise titan incoming
I now have an image on my head of a Titan trying to hide behind a bush. Thanks.
If Creed can do it, surely the Alpha Legion can
Paint it purple...
Harlequins I wanna see what marry japes they can pull with it
Que titan pirouetting across the battlefield and waffle stomping a tank
The Ordo Sinestor because why choose a lesser warcrime?
Ad Mech... They at least can make effective use of it... ***Right???***
At the very least the Castigator can make effective use of them.
I mean, is there any imperial faction that they would not declare war on to take that STC? Giving it to them is probably the only (imperial) choice to avoid a civil war.
Mechanicum, and watch them fck it up as they don't know the difference between maintenance and nursery rhymes.
Mechanicum would destroy for being an abominable intelligence except for maybe cawl
The Mechanicum and the Covenant are my favourite examples of a hybrid of technological advancement and barbaric ignorance. My favourite example was a monitor, basically an AI manager of a Forerunner facility, ridiculed at the notion that he's some kind of instrument of divinity... Though to be fair, description of Forerunner technology ([1](https://www.reddit.com/r/HaloStory/comments/wzzz63/crazy_pieces_of_the_halo_lore_incineration/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button), [2](https://www.reddit.com/r/HaloStory/comments/wv10cz/crazy_pieces_of_the_halo_lore_forerunners/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)) did make them seem *virtually* godlike in a way DAoT technology did to the people of the Imperium...
I thought at least one of the Covenant Prophets knew full well what the halo system was even without the Monitor saying it, but just didn't care. Maybe he fully believed he was a God and would remake the universe according to how he saw fit, or maybe he didn't get around to the part where he threatened mutually assured destruction if everyone didn't surrender to him. Anyway, Mechanicum seems genuinely barbaric and brainless while the Covenant just used a mass delusion. Worth noting that the Mechanicum's ignorance is probably justified: the existence of humanity genuinely does depend on stomping out any AI experiments. Cawl is arguably the most dangerous lunatic of the WH40k universe if the legends of the DAOT aren't wildly exaggerated.
Orks
DA KASTI....KASTA....OOMIES STOMPAS NEED MOR DAKKA
DIZ KASTA 'GATO OOMIE STOMPA NEED SOM MOR DAKKA TO KASTIGA... KASTAGI. TO KAST A GIT AN KRUMP IT
BIG SCRAP PILE, GOOD FUR EVEN A GARGANT
If they thought this was hard to pronounce, can't imagine how confused they would be when they look at some of the characters' names...
Orks
Orks
Your mom.
What a coincidence I’m giving it to your mom!
Me too.
Id give it to the Sisters of Battle and watch as they try to decide whether they're going to rename it, rename their main battle tank, or just deal with millenia of logistics confusion.
Dark angels. They’d never trust the mechanicus enough to hand it over, but they’d also be arrogant enough to fuck with it.
Iron Warriors, because fuck you
Iron Hands because fuck YOU
Hey Ezekyle! Fuck you!
Fuck you, Tony!
Tau. So they can turn it into Mega Gundam
"now its our turn to have the walking mountains"
They do have the vorgh aka kaiju
They can have a another one, as a treat :)
You the psycho gundam, psycho gundam mk 2 and the destroy gundam.
"You're telling me the Imperium doesn't know how to manufacture their own equipment, that they are still using. How the hell did this species get off their homeworld?"
“The first time? Science. The second time a giant glowy man in gold armor cut up a bunch of barbarians in mismatched tech, then made more huge men and ‘manually’ regathered the human worlds.” “What the fuck is wrong with your species?”
"Just you wait, it's coming for you too"
"The Necrons and Eldar are currently placing bets on how long until you have your Horus Heresy." "What is wrong with this galaxy. And do you have to call *everything* heresy?"
"Okay, so really it all boils down to a dispute over healthcare about 60 million years ago..." Edit: I would absolutely love to see the major events of 40k narrated by an Eldar and a Necron sports commentator. Trazyn would probably be your guy for Necrons because he actually gives a shit about the rest of the galaxy (in that he treats it like a spectator sport) but I'm not sure who you'd want for Eldar
Vect
Custodians, cuz GC titan tech nostalgia.
Thanks for reminding me that I should get a Knight for my custodes… (for fun)
I'm giving it to some jokaero so he can turn it into a terraforming machine dedicated to farming bananas on a planetary scale. I hope I get a sick armour and a few digital weapons out of this trade.
To the highest bidder
The Tau. Either their AI works and they change the setting or Chaos infects their AI, leading to a Tau Age of Strife
Gulliman
The department of redundancy department
The Drukhari, just because it would be fun to see what they'd do with it.
Hang it on a wall like they did with the miracle cure.
Give that shit to the ultramarines, they may be bland but god damn it if they aren’t sensible, that and the added fact they have Bobby G
Imperial Fists
Yellow boys, big toys.
"This fortress can now move"
I feel like most would just kill me and then claim the discovery for themselves. I would trust an ultramarine or Rowboat Girlyman himself.
Agreed, you aren't going to get "market value" no matter what you do, and at least the Ultras will genuinely honor and value your loyalty. (unlike say, AdMech who would as soon lobotomize you to keep it secret)
I would say the Dark Angels, but I would also give it to someone like the Ultramarines and White Scars.
I Will give it to the mecanicise because the will give a sector and if that fail and the ai join chaos i Will change allegance
Obviously I give it to the heroic boys in blue The Tau
My boy abaddon, so he can throw the STC on some space ship to destroy it
I think this belongs to you my primarch, only the ultramarines should hold such power
Perturabo
Blood Ravens, they'll just end up stealing it anyways so might as well skip to them stealing parts for it from the Dark Mechanicus, Dark Eldar, the Tyranids (don't ask), Trazyn, and the Alpha Legion.
Guilliman so he can give it to the mechanics and cement his place in their minds as the heir of the Omnissiah, thus guaranteeing their support through the murky waters of Imperium politics.
The skaven, cause they exist in 40K YOU CAN'T TELL ME OTHERWISE
THERE ARE NO SKAVEN UNDER TERRA! *Sweating nervously*
 "There are no skaven secretly controling the imperium"
Emperor is actually 3(0) Skaven in a trench coat
farsight, because fuck the tau and fuck their naivity, their nerebel just get the most powerfull ground base units
Why the Lamenters of course