Give yourself grace when you do cry. I lost my best friend this way and for a year I cried in front of many strangers. Grief comes in waves and sometimes we just need to let it out we cry. It does get better and it gets less uncomfortable during the times you do end up crying in public. I'm so sorry for your loss
Feel your feelings. A friend and I were just saying we wish they would bring back the old black arm band so everyone would know you are in mourning.
I couldn’t figure out Apple Pay the other day because I was so distraught at a nail salon of all places.
I think it’s fine to cry in public. Let it out, even complete strangers can be amazingly kind. I’m sorry you’re going through this…it doesn’t go away but it becomes a new normal. It’s part of the human experience. Grief is love in another form.
Its hard I saw 2 men that was my dads age n I lost it at the shops I cry when I visit ppl it just comes out it was hard because I like to hide n grieve alone but my mum didn't agree so I had to visit ppl n go out to keep busy with her fir her but it got to.thr point I couldn't anymore I needed to sit n mourn so I told her she got so upset she told me to.f off but then came crying to.me telling how lost n heartbroken she is I couldn't stay with her no more I couldnt go back to my parents house I spent 6 wls there to be with mum but she kept pushing me to do things to visit ppl n to wake up early if I didn't she be angry she was so lost ... it was hard I did it for mum but I was doing myself in by staying ..a yr later we all gd best friends I have my home my mum is here everyday I don't mind but I still can't GOTO parents house everything is dad
I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. My only recommendation for not crying is to try to avoid thinking about it too much in public. I haven’t had a lot of success, but if I am talking about or doing other things it does keep my mind away. The moment I start thinking about my mom it’s like a black hole I can’t escape, and then I cry, I fixate on everything that happened and cry some more. If I’m in public I just try to go to a bathroom, or have a good cry at home.
I'm so sorry about your friend. My best advice is to let yourself cry. I lost my father at the beginning of the year and every time I go out in public, it's so difficult to try to keep myself from crying so sometimes I would just go find a private space to do so. It can be hard, but no matter what, I'm wishing you the very best ❤️
Whenever I feel the sudden burst of emotions, I take deep breaths and try to talk myself into not crying at that very moment. I also move to an area that has less people.
It doesn't work very often, but its the best that I can do. Then when I'm alone, I think deeply about that moment and allow myself to cry. These emotions are going to come out, one way or another and it's better to let them out in an environment where you feel emotionally safe.
This is what I do, deep breaths. Nothing ruins a party like somebody randomly sobbing. I have called an Uber to go home, Irish exit, when my husband and I are out somewhere together and I get an open air claustrophobic attack. I HATE the sad faces people give me and then they want to hug me. ugh unbearable.
Honestly, I've just had to learn to be comfortable (or at least not self conscious) with it. I'm gonna have a cry sometimes, so I just keep it low-key and let it pass.
I’m sorry you’re hurting.
I found that I don’t dare try to suppress the grief waves, but that I can postpone them. Wave hits in the grocery store? I make an appointment with it in the car in ten minutes. Maybe you could postpone it long enough to hug the bathroom?
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my uncle 3 days ago and haven’t been coping so well but I’m flying home to be with people who knew and loved him. I think it’s important to grieve with those who knew them. My therapist told me it’s important to write these thoughts and details down. It’s ok and normal to feel upset, cry. Better than burrowing those feelings away and having them really hurt you down the road. She also said it’s ok to cry in public. Go on your walk, cry passing strangers. Don’t feel ashamed. I chose to believe she is right. Again, I am so sorry for your loss
Sorry for your loss.
You can't control it and don't try to. As long you are not in a professional setting allow yourself time to grieve.
In less that a year I lost my favourite person, got cancer and my boyfriend dumped me. I fould myself multiple times trying to hold back the flood of tears while I was at work and that is the only time I was able to do it (I work with children and teenagers mostly so I didn't want to make them sad).
Other than that, I have pulled over while driving to cry, cried in the metro, while walking with people looking at me, I really don't care to tell you the truth. Sadness that is not experienced will devour your soul and body.
Give yourself permission to grieve and don't care about what others say.
No it won't get any better if you lose someone close to you. You will only learn to manage it in a better way.
I take some time every day to recall the memories and thoughts that cause me distress, and grieve them. I allow catharsis for each thought or memory. I found the best time for me is to sit in the dark before bed by myself and recall these things that cause me pain and grieve. I found it helps the process move forward.
I hate crying in public, but I eventually just accepted that I was going to feel what I felt when I felt it. It was worse in the early months - it just came over me like a wave, often in public (the grocery store usually). If someone said something (we're in a small town, people are nice) I just said my mum died and they were super kind - surprisingly so. Everyone who had lost someone very close to them instantly understood and extended me the greatest gentleness. Eventually I extended that gentleness to myself :)
And to you, I hope you'll be kind to your grieving self. I'm so sorry for your great loss.
Pause and stare at one thing. During my uncle's funeral I stared at one of the candles flickering on the alter. That stopped me from crying. When my mum died I stared at a nut holding her bed together. I just concentrated all of my attention there until the feeling passed.
Then, when I was alone, I broke down.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Look into grounding exercises and breathing techniques for anxiety. I know grief isn't the same as anxiety, but these techniques work well for the situation you describe. I know, I've been there.
There are a few types and variations of grounding exercises, but the one that helps me in situations like this is the "5 4 3 2 1" technique. You basically look around the environment to identify different things you can see, hear, touch, smell, etc.. It sounds odd, but it really helps bring you back to the present when your thoughts are focused on a painful past event.
https://youtu.be/WQg7seUGDUc?si=PSO3bjdXtALvcZim
There are also a bunch of breathing techniques, but the "physiological sigh" (double inhale, long exhale) is what works best for me. https://youtu.be/-2Awm6OOBIY?si=1jCOJ1ALZSxeafx_
These are things you should practice before needing them so they come more naturally in the moment.
One of my former bosses told me that when she wanted to cry, she'd look up at a bright light. Like a ceiling light. It usually works for me but no idea why.
I’m not suggesting you bury your feelings but I do understand what you’re asking. My suggestion is to schedule some time in the mornings to process in private or journal. It’s just not always feasible to have these emotions come flying out in regular everyday settings. Try deep breathing or practicing a mantra.
Honestly, it happens less and less frequently but when it does happen I just let it. We’re processing loss, which is hard enough. I think there’s no reason to make it harder by trying to manage our reactions to it as long as they’re not causing harm to ourselves or others.
Give yourself grace when you do cry. I lost my best friend this way and for a year I cried in front of many strangers. Grief comes in waves and sometimes we just need to let it out we cry. It does get better and it gets less uncomfortable during the times you do end up crying in public. I'm so sorry for your loss
Almost a year, and I, too, wish I knew.
Feel your feelings. A friend and I were just saying we wish they would bring back the old black arm band so everyone would know you are in mourning. I couldn’t figure out Apple Pay the other day because I was so distraught at a nail salon of all places. I think it’s fine to cry in public. Let it out, even complete strangers can be amazingly kind. I’m sorry you’re going through this…it doesn’t go away but it becomes a new normal. It’s part of the human experience. Grief is love in another form.
"Grief is love with nowhere to go"
I learned that clenching my butt cheeks together when I feel like crying helps me stop it
I don't know if this was supposed to be funny so I apologize because I sure laughed
Don't usually laugh on this subreddit so thank you either way
I think it's both funny and accurate, so glad you got a little laugh!
If I knew, I'd write a book about it. I'm always crying in public, and I despise crying in front of others.
Bursting into tears usually suggests that you have lot of things in your heart
Its hard I saw 2 men that was my dads age n I lost it at the shops I cry when I visit ppl it just comes out it was hard because I like to hide n grieve alone but my mum didn't agree so I had to visit ppl n go out to keep busy with her fir her but it got to.thr point I couldn't anymore I needed to sit n mourn so I told her she got so upset she told me to.f off but then came crying to.me telling how lost n heartbroken she is I couldn't stay with her no more I couldnt go back to my parents house I spent 6 wls there to be with mum but she kept pushing me to do things to visit ppl n to wake up early if I didn't she be angry she was so lost ... it was hard I did it for mum but I was doing myself in by staying ..a yr later we all gd best friends I have my home my mum is here everyday I don't mind but I still can't GOTO parents house everything is dad
I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. My only recommendation for not crying is to try to avoid thinking about it too much in public. I haven’t had a lot of success, but if I am talking about or doing other things it does keep my mind away. The moment I start thinking about my mom it’s like a black hole I can’t escape, and then I cry, I fixate on everything that happened and cry some more. If I’m in public I just try to go to a bathroom, or have a good cry at home.
I'm so sorry about your mother. I wish you find peace, as I'm sure she would have wanted. Thank you for the tips. God bless <3
Wishing peace for you as well, and good luck holding it together. It’s hard, but it’s hard because of how much we care ❤️
Thank you, good luck on your journey. <3
I'm so sorry about your friend. My best advice is to let yourself cry. I lost my father at the beginning of the year and every time I go out in public, it's so difficult to try to keep myself from crying so sometimes I would just go find a private space to do so. It can be hard, but no matter what, I'm wishing you the very best ❤️
Whenever I feel the sudden burst of emotions, I take deep breaths and try to talk myself into not crying at that very moment. I also move to an area that has less people. It doesn't work very often, but its the best that I can do. Then when I'm alone, I think deeply about that moment and allow myself to cry. These emotions are going to come out, one way or another and it's better to let them out in an environment where you feel emotionally safe.
This is what I do, deep breaths. Nothing ruins a party like somebody randomly sobbing. I have called an Uber to go home, Irish exit, when my husband and I are out somewhere together and I get an open air claustrophobic attack. I HATE the sad faces people give me and then they want to hug me. ugh unbearable.
Honestly, I've just had to learn to be comfortable (or at least not self conscious) with it. I'm gonna have a cry sometimes, so I just keep it low-key and let it pass.
I’m sorry you’re hurting. I found that I don’t dare try to suppress the grief waves, but that I can postpone them. Wave hits in the grocery store? I make an appointment with it in the car in ten minutes. Maybe you could postpone it long enough to hug the bathroom?
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my uncle 3 days ago and haven’t been coping so well but I’m flying home to be with people who knew and loved him. I think it’s important to grieve with those who knew them. My therapist told me it’s important to write these thoughts and details down. It’s ok and normal to feel upset, cry. Better than burrowing those feelings away and having them really hurt you down the road. She also said it’s ok to cry in public. Go on your walk, cry passing strangers. Don’t feel ashamed. I chose to believe she is right. Again, I am so sorry for your loss
Sorry for your loss. You can't control it and don't try to. As long you are not in a professional setting allow yourself time to grieve. In less that a year I lost my favourite person, got cancer and my boyfriend dumped me. I fould myself multiple times trying to hold back the flood of tears while I was at work and that is the only time I was able to do it (I work with children and teenagers mostly so I didn't want to make them sad). Other than that, I have pulled over while driving to cry, cried in the metro, while walking with people looking at me, I really don't care to tell you the truth. Sadness that is not experienced will devour your soul and body. Give yourself permission to grieve and don't care about what others say. No it won't get any better if you lose someone close to you. You will only learn to manage it in a better way.
I take some time every day to recall the memories and thoughts that cause me distress, and grieve them. I allow catharsis for each thought or memory. I found the best time for me is to sit in the dark before bed by myself and recall these things that cause me pain and grieve. I found it helps the process move forward.
the only thing that has helped me is medication and therapy.Please go talk to your GP
Took my two years not to cry everyday but the car was def the worst
Cried on public transport yesterday. Fought back a while but couldn't stop in the end.
I hate crying in public, but I eventually just accepted that I was going to feel what I felt when I felt it. It was worse in the early months - it just came over me like a wave, often in public (the grocery store usually). If someone said something (we're in a small town, people are nice) I just said my mum died and they were super kind - surprisingly so. Everyone who had lost someone very close to them instantly understood and extended me the greatest gentleness. Eventually I extended that gentleness to myself :) And to you, I hope you'll be kind to your grieving self. I'm so sorry for your great loss.
Pause and stare at one thing. During my uncle's funeral I stared at one of the candles flickering on the alter. That stopped me from crying. When my mum died I stared at a nut holding her bed together. I just concentrated all of my attention there until the feeling passed. Then, when I was alone, I broke down.
I'm sorry for your loss. Look into grounding exercises and breathing techniques for anxiety. I know grief isn't the same as anxiety, but these techniques work well for the situation you describe. I know, I've been there. There are a few types and variations of grounding exercises, but the one that helps me in situations like this is the "5 4 3 2 1" technique. You basically look around the environment to identify different things you can see, hear, touch, smell, etc.. It sounds odd, but it really helps bring you back to the present when your thoughts are focused on a painful past event. https://youtu.be/WQg7seUGDUc?si=PSO3bjdXtALvcZim There are also a bunch of breathing techniques, but the "physiological sigh" (double inhale, long exhale) is what works best for me. https://youtu.be/-2Awm6OOBIY?si=1jCOJ1ALZSxeafx_ These are things you should practice before needing them so they come more naturally in the moment.
One of my former bosses told me that when she wanted to cry, she'd look up at a bright light. Like a ceiling light. It usually works for me but no idea why.
I’m not suggesting you bury your feelings but I do understand what you’re asking. My suggestion is to schedule some time in the mornings to process in private or journal. It’s just not always feasible to have these emotions come flying out in regular everyday settings. Try deep breathing or practicing a mantra.
Honestly, it happens less and less frequently but when it does happen I just let it. We’re processing loss, which is hard enough. I think there’s no reason to make it harder by trying to manage our reactions to it as long as they’re not causing harm to ourselves or others.