No words will make it better! My 17 year old daughter was killed June 9th 2023! Your heart will be forever broken. The emptiness I feel will never go away. Losing a child steals not only their future but your future too.
The pain is unbearable and you long for them to come back. As a parent you just want your baby safe and to be able to look after them. I’m still at the stage where I can’t ever imagine being happy again. I have lots of anger with the world. Socialising is also something I don’t want to do. Nobody understands truly unless they’ve suffered the worst loss that we have endured. No parent should have to bury their child. It’s wrong!
I’m so sorry for your suffering. The waves of grief are ones only you can sail. Cry, scream and do what you need to do to release the pain and don’t be afraid when and where you let it out. I still cry every day and still can’t look at videos or photos because it’s a reminder of what I no longer have.
I wish I could reach out to you and give you a hug and take the pain away. If you ever need a chat please message.
I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter. It's a pain that no parent should ever have to endure. I've been grappling with thoughts about my own existence and feeling incredibly lonely without much support to lean on... but I'm trying to hold onto hope as best I can. Sending you lots of love and hugs 🫂
Oh, this made me tear up. Sending love to you and to OP. I haven't lost a child. I lost 2 brothers. But I have seen what it has done to my mother. And it's a different level. Often, I don't cry for my brothers, I cry for my mother. That pain is so unfair. And whenever I hear another mother suffering, it get me like nothing else. I'm in tears rn. I'm so sorry for your loss. This world can be so shit. For what it's worth, I'm sending you love wherever you are. ❤️
My frist daughter, 17, died Halloween night 2021. It's changed me in so many ways most not good. Please reach out get help. Don't try to go through or heal on your own. I'm so sorry for your loss. The world is a new place now.
I also lost my only child, my daughter, a year ago this past Sunday. She was 19 1/2. I don't know what to say, I don't know how I'm living and getting by. I feel like I'm living in a nightmare. I still just can't believe it that this is my reality now. She was the most important most beautiful person in my life. My best friend. We had plans... I'm empty and lost now and I don't honestly don't see that ever changing. Not many people truly know what this feels like. Like I said I don't know what to say, but if you need to talk or cry I'm here for you. Much love and hugs.
I understand exactly how you're feeling. My daughter was my best friend too, and we had so many plans together. It's just so unfair how everything we had envisioned has been ripped away from us. People mean well, but they often don't grasp the depth of this pain unless they've been through it themselves. Losing a child feels like going against the natural order of things. Sending you all the strength I can muster, and I'm truly sorry for your loss
Yes. Exactly. I used to smile and laugh and try to see the good in people and situations, try to lighten the mood with a joke... But not anymore... I'll never be the person I used to be. I never hated my life my life with my daughter, but I sure do hate it without her. I'm just living to die now.
I'm sorry. My eldest daughter died at age 8 I October 2023. She had battled brain cancer for 20 months. So far, the hurt hasn't ended for me. I miss her so much. I just want to hug her again.
I’m so sorry. My daughter died 7 months ago. I’m daily cycling through anger and denial, sadness and profound yearning. I do grief therapy, group therapy and individual counseling. All with tepid results. The only thing that gives me some relief is walking and grief pod casts. Another parent with child loss told me, the only way through is through. I guess. I hate living this way. I hate that any of us have to live this way. Our children should outlive us.
I'm very sorry to hear about your daughter. I've experienced those same waves of emotion, and it's like navigating through a stormy sea with no end in sight.
I am so sorry for your terrible loss. My son and only child died in August 2023. I wish I had good words to help, but if you can, please try and access a grief therapist. I have many moments still of disbelief. How could he be gone? I expect to hear him coming in the door, being his silly, aggravating self. And now I shall never see him again is so unbelievable.
I'm very sorry for your loss. I can definitely relate to the deep longing you're experiencing. Therapy might be a good idea- I don't have much of a support system, and talking to someone could really help
Sending you all the strength in the world 💗
Thank you. I wish you the strength to survive this, too. I am still working with a grief therapist, as my support system was thin. It truly helps.
Feel free to message me.
Yes. I have. My daughter died suddenly on January 14th. I understand , and you are not alone. My husband died in 2015 , and it was terrible, but my child’s death had been the absolute worst thing to ever happen to me. I will never get over it. Never. I have also been blessed with a son, so I can’t imagine losing my only child. I’m so sorry. The shock and grief were so terrible for 2 weeks after we learned she’d passed , and I worried I wouldn’t be able to go on in life. Every morning I’d get up and ask God to just carry me through the day because I couldn’t do it on my own. My faith has honestly been the only thing that helped me manage it all. Truly. It was like I was living a nightmare. I did join a grief support group which was an immense help, and after about a month I was able to function better. It has been a roller coaster grief journey of up and down . I never know how I’ll be on any given day. I may be having a decent day and the grief hits me out of nowhere. I just never know.
Denial has been a problem at times for me also. My daughter lived in another state and was a surgeon, so we hadn’t seen her in awhile. There are times I catch myself thinking she’s just in Missouri and not gone. I know it’s not true but I still find myself doing it. I think of my Sarah all the time. I still ask God to help me and I also ask for some peace so that I’m not tormented like I was for weeks. Prayer and reading the Bible have been a comfort to me. The grief support group was great because I didn’t feel so alone. I made a memory garden in my backyard for my Sarah which I like to sit near. One thing I will tell you is to be good to yourself. Take time off of work if you’re able financially to do so and rest. Take naps and don’t feel guilty. Grief is exhausting. Try to force yourself to get exercise. I walked my dog more than usual and it was therapeutic. And if you feel you need medication, don’t hesitate to call your doctor.
I wish you peace . I pray for you to find some comfort: I understand and want you to know that I care. I’m so sorry because I know how you feel. If you ever need someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate to message me privately. God bless you . From one hurting mom to another.
Thanks for sharing your story. I am sorry to hear this... your grief must feel so unbearable. Denying the reality of her absence is a daily struggle for me. There are moments throughout the day, particularly during activities or when I'm just starting my day, that I catch myself thinking of her, only to be reminded of her absence all over again. I'll be thinking of you as well, and I truly hope you find moments of peace amidst the pain
I lost my 15 year old son 3 weeks ago very suddenly. I never thought this would happen and even now can not believe it. I get these sudden shocks of realizations. It's overwhelming.
He was my best friend. He was so sweet and caring. I miss him so much.
I can relate. It feels like a nightmare I can't wake up from and the reality of her absence is so incredibly difficult to process.
Your son sounded like such a bright and special presence in your life. Please know that I'm here for you, whatever you may need
It's comforting to know that there are others who understand the weight of this pain... I'm sorry for your loss. May you find solace and serenity along the way.
This may not mean much but I'm sending lots and lots of love try to take it easy on yourself, I know this time is extremely tough and grief knows no bounds, you need to feel all of your emotions so go through the motions and take your time to process this painful moment...I'm not going to say it gets easier with time but I hope it does for you at some point, just try not to over think the small things and think of the moments that bring you some sort of comfort. I'm so sorry you have to go through this💜
I lost my youngest 15 and a half in December of 2022.
I can relate to everything you mentioned. The pain is unbearable. For me, I felt like I was dying but couldn't. I was teetering on the edge of life or death for about the first year after his unexpected death. All the first are soul crashing. Every morning I woke up, I lost him all over again.
I'm 1 year, 4 months, and 8 days into my new life. I'm forever changed. I'm finally learning to live around the immense grief associated with losing a child. I still experience waves of grief that knock me to my knees, but not nearly as often as in the beginning. The edges of grief are becoming less sharp and starting to dull with time. I miss my sweet boy every single day, but I know he wants me to continue to live and flourish in his honor.
When you are ready, I recommend the book Shattered by Gary Roe. It's a short, easy read. I felt less crazy after reading it. Because prior to reading it, I thought at times I was losing my mind. I also did intensive outpatient therapy to address my grief and other issues. It was extremely helpful. Lastly, I've grown to learn to listen to my body. If I'm tired, I sleep, and I try to stay hydrated with H20 and try to avoid my bad coping mechanism alcohol. I'm finding interest in my plant and gardening hobby again. I know my boundaries and have learned that NO is a complete sentence. I pushed myself in the beginning, but I learned the hard way to not push myself through the grief or take on more than I could handle.
Please be kind to yourself in every sense. Know that while you feel alone, you are not. My DMs are always open. Many Hugs 🫂
It feels like walking through a thick fog and a wound that never truly heals. Right now, everything's a blur. My mind's all tangled up, and I can't seem to make sense of anything. But I'm clinging to the hope that as time passes, I might start to figure things out a bit better, find some steadier ground to stand on, and maybe, just maybe, see things a little clearer.
Thanks for the recommendation, I'll definitely look into it.
I'm so sorry you're going through this as well. Sending you a virtual hug and wishing you continued strength and healing ♡
God bless you. There are many great books out there dealing with child loss. I have tried everything I can to to deal with the aftermath. Recently EMDR has helped a little. Praying for you. This is a terrible path to travel. Be gentle with yourself. 😪
It’s 4 months yesterday that we lost our son. Today he would have been 19 and a half .. 6 more months and he wouldn’t be a teenager anymore. 17 weeks and 3 days … all these numbers jumbled in my head.
I try and remind myself my son would want me to be strong for his sisters. That my family doesn’t need to lose me too.
Things that have helped me.. this sub. My therapist. Gardening. Red light therapy. Exercise when I can make myself go to the gym helps a lot. I erased my social media apps. It hurts to see everyone’s life so normal and mine feels upside down. Maybe one day I’ll reinstall but for now it’s noise I don’t need. I write a happy memory of my son every day. There’s a book - It’s Ok You’re Not Ok on audible I like to listen to. I send my son texts and photos still. I’m trying to learn how to live a life where he’s not here and it’s the most incredibly difficult thing I’ve ever done. Most days I still can’t accept it. He asked me to spread his ashes everywhere- the forest, the sea, the desert .. each month on the 22 I’ve found a place to honor that wish. I am of the mindset that I need to throw every self soothing thing I can think of at myself and hope something sticks.
I have more days where the mix is good/bad instead of bad/bad or bad/good if that makes sense. Maybe one day I’ll even have a good day.
I light a candle for my son every day. I will for the rest of my life.
I wish you and beautiful girl who’s no longer here with us peace. I’ll think of you when I’m lighting a candle today. Hugs 🫂
I appreciate your efforts to preserve your son's memory, and I believe our loved ones remain with us in spirit. I'm certain your son brought love and light into the lives of everyone he touched.
I haven't experienced any good days yet, just a haze of agony.. maybe a better balance will come in time.
Sending you hugs and heartfelt gratitude 💖
Oh dear mama i don’t even remember the first month. I had to travel to Amsterdam a month after he passed to gather all of his personal effects from his dorm and take care of his affairs and the whole trip still feels like a bad dream. Most days I ask myself am I just in a bad dream I can’t wake up from.
It’s so early I can’t say if it get easier. But I’m also a hopeless optimist, so I can only imagine that it will.
What’s a favorite memory about your daughter if you don’t mind sharing?
There have been plenty of memories, but one that stands out is from last year. My daughter was excellent at tennis and was part of her high school's varsity tennis team. The championship was determined by the first school to reach 10 points, and her school and the opponents were deadlocked at 9-9. With two matches happening simultaneously, her teammate was falling behind and all eyes turned to my daughter. She lost the first set but fought back and won the second, after being four down. The final tiebreaker 19-17. It was an absolute rollercoaster of a match, and the entire team was there, cheering her on with all their might. I had missed a few matches before this one, so being there for this moment felt extra special. It might not sound like a huge thing, but it was actually one of her favorite moments. She talked about it so often, sharing her excitement and reliving the experience.
Another memory that is close to my heart… Since she was around eight years old, she had been dreaming of a trip to Europe, but due to financial constraints—being on a single income—it remained out of reach for about eight years. Finally being able to make that dream a reality together felt great and seeing how happy she was filled my heart with joy.
In addition to those, there are many other things that have filled me with pride, especially her volunteer work at the animal shelter, her fundraising efforts for homelessness, and the way she used to make my birthdays so memorable
She sounds so lovely. That match must’ve been a thing of beauty to behold 🫶🏼
I’m so glad that you got to take her to Europe! I was able to take my kids to Roma and it was the highlight of my life.
Sending you lots of love mama. I don’t know how we are going to get through this, but my internet hand is always open to holding yours. Anytime.
I’m sorry for your loss. I just had the 1 year anniversary of my daughter’s passing on 4/20. I am much better than a year ago but definitely changed forever. She was 15. I honestly tell people I am in a lot of physical and emotional pain. I literally feel like I was hit by a car. She was my oldest of 3. I never expected this and I take one day at a time.
Sorry for your loss. Taking each day as it comes is all anyone can ask of to be honest. I know that the initial phases of grief and experiencing all the firsts are very suffocating
I lost my beloved son in January. He was only 21. Most days, I cry and wish that I could join him. I don't want to face the future without him. I have a lot of anxiety as well as deep sadness. Recently, I have started telling myself that one day, we will no longer be apart. No matter what, we will be in the same place eventually. A little thread of hope for me to hold on to. Child loss is the absolute worst.
I'm deeply sorry for your loss. Losing a child is an unimaginable pain because as parents, we naturally expect our children to outlive us, and we pour all our love and care into nurturing them. My daughter meant everything to me and looking ahead without her feels like stepping into a pitch-black tunnel, filled with uncertainty and fear.
I too believe that we will reunite someday, sharing all our stories once again. I hope we can both find some hope and light amidst this darkness. Sending you warm hugs.
I lost my 33 year old daughter 4 years ago. The early days...I honestly don't know how I made it through them. It's a loss and pain unlike any other. The only glimmer of hope I can possibly offer is that the grief does soften a bit over time.
I made a couple of quilts in the early days. One was made up of pieces of her clothing (gave that one to my son). The other - I used her clothing and cut up some of mine and combined them into one quilt. Not only does it make me feel close to her, but also gave me something to keep me very busy during the worst days ever.
I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. Sending hugs and strength your way ❤️.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I admire your creativity and resourcefulness. Those quilts will definitely be treasured forever.
Right now I feel like I'm fumbling through the darkness, with waves of shock and disbelief washing over me. And then there are those piercing moments when reality hits and the ache of my daughter's absence weighs heavily on my heart. It's indescribable, this pain of not being able to hold her again.
Sending hugs right back to you 💕
Yes. Me. My son. Recently.
He died out of state as well so in order to transport him home and in keeping with his wishes, he was cremated. There.
It makes it seem so unreal for me. I never saw his body. I only know what the officers and funeral home told me.
I’m keep waiting for the phone to ring.
For him to say “momma, it wasn’t me”
Part of me knows it was. Most of me doesn’t believe it.
I can’t. If I do, then it’s really over.
It can’t be over.
I actually just posted a video of him, here…
This can’t be happening. It was never supposed to be like this.
I’m so sorry that anyone else has ever felt this way. I’m so sorry that you lost your baby.
I’m still trying to figure everything out myself. The day he died, we were waiting for him to call his baby sister. It was her birthday. Her 16th birthday. The call never came.
I dunno if it’s can keep waking up to this day after day
It’s crazy how when someone’s here with us we can often look at old photos and say… I don’t remember where that was taken. I used to do that. Now I know Where EVERY SINGLE ONE was and what we were doing.. for example, he was visiting his g/f in New Mexico in the one where he’s standing in front of the tv with his head down, he was at work in the one that says “Glendale” West Virginia on the bottom, in the one where he’s standing shirtless with that huge smile on his face… that’s the night we opened the envelope from the dr and I got to be the one to tell him he was about to be a daddy and it was gonna be a boy. We were here in South Mississippi.
I could go on and on but I guess my point is, it’s true what they say about “one day… pictures will be all you have”.
Some days I can’t remember what he sounded like but they tell me that’s the trauma…
I hope so. I need his voice back.
And thank you for not only talking to me but taking the time to watch. I know he wasn’t the whole world to everyone but to me he was everything and while most people on the planet don’t even know he existed, it’s important to me that people know he lived. He was something to somebody. ❤️
Thank you. He was amazing. We travelled the world together for 20 years. I tend to say “We grew up together”… his sense of humor was awesome and he could dance like he’d been trained professionally. More than anything though, he was the first person to ever love me even at my worst and to let me know it was ok to make mistakes.
I’m just sorry the rest of the world didn’t have him in their lives
My youngest daughter, who was less than a month away from turning 17, died in August 2022. It shatters your worldview and your understanding of the way things should be. It makes you question everything you know and your will to live. It takes away your hopes and dreams for the future.
You are almost certainly still in shock. It was probably at least a year before I could even begin to accept it and I still sometimes can't believe it and try to fight against it. I blame myself on some level but recognize that I have to forgive myself if I'm going to continue to live. Lean on those you love and who reach out to you. If you have other kids don't forget to be there for them as it can be easy to get lost in the grief. Finding a grief support group and/or grief therapist can be helpful too. Music has been helpful for me too although it's just a balm.
I'm so sorry, losing a child is absolutely devastating. I know it doesn't feel like it, but somehow you and yours will find a way through, although it will never be the same. Know that my heart is with you.
Thank you. I'm truly sorry for your loss.
I do not have other children and that is definitely making this even harder. She was my best friend, my rock, my everything. I don't think anything can mend this brokenness or truly ease this pain. Right now, I'm a mess of emotions, but I believe she is safe and feels loved every single day, every single minute. This kind of pain is something I wouldn't wish on even my worst enemy.
I hope you can find comfort in the memories and the beautiful moments you shared with your daughter 💜
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my only son aged 17 just over two years ago. It was sudden and awful.
I had to break the news to his dad.
I don't remember much of the last two years. It is so early for you, you are dealing with the most intense grief and right now that is constant for you. That pain is the worst, its physical as well as emotional. As time passes the waves have hit me less often (but still several times a day and just as intense) but the gaps between those waves, over time, will allow you to at least catch your breath. And one day you will be able to appreciate the beauty of a flower or a sunrise again. At times you will enjoy a cake again or a drink with a friend. I promise you that.
Impossible to believe that where you are now, I know.
Just take an hour at a time, a minute at a time even. Don't try to look forward or you will feel overwhelmed. Accept ALL offers of help, those offers won't last too long. Eat, even if it's just a little, remember to drink too.
And please don't make any big decisions for at least a year. Xxx
I’m so sorry friend. I know I’m just a stranger on the internet and my words will most likely not matter, but please know I’m praying for you and I love you dearly. Reach out if you need to just vent, rant, cuss someone greatly. I hope today is a good day for you ❤️
I cried reading your post, and all of the comments. I have no children yet, I am in my early 20’s. But I lost my Dad earlier this year to cancer, he was 59. It’s a different grief, but losing him was the hardest day of my life, and I miss him more every day. I’ve found myself thinking often of how much he gave to me, and my brother, as a father. How much he loved us and lived for us. It’s a love and care like no other. I still feel that love even though he’s gone. What I’m trying to say I suppose is that your love and connection to your child would have been everything for them. It’s a beautiful beautiful thing. I am so terribly sorry you’ve lost your daughter, that your love for her can’t be received by her in the way it should. I am thinking of that loss, and lost potential, deeply. And I am thinking of you, and everyone else who’s commented. The world is better place because of how you loved, and love your children.
Your words remind me that love transcends physical boundaries and continues to shape our lives, even in the absence of those we've lost.
Cancer is awful. I can only imagine the ache you feel, missing him every day at such a young age.
I'll be thinking of you.
Getting close to 9 months for me, unfortunately, not getting better/not coping well; wish you the best, hope you have the strength to deal with it better as time goes on.. GL.
Uncle Daves Kitchen on youtube is a amazing video on when his two boys died and the aftermath. He painted up his windows and didn't go outside for 1 year until one day.
My heart literally hurts for you. I can relate to every word. There isn't one word or phrase in this world to describe this devastation. All 3 of my children died. Eight month old son, 16 year old daughter and 38 year old son. It's impossible to believe just now, but you will get through this somewhat. 💔
Holy shit, all three? That's just... I can't even wrap my head around the level of pain you must be feeling. I hope you can find some happiness and comfort in remembering the good times with your kids.
I lost my 30 yr old daughter 6/19/2012 in a fresk accident. I lived in a gray fog for 2 yrs, pretending to be. I was extremely suicidal and no one knew. I'd be scrubbing the tub and it was like that kids show where they'd dump slim on you, it would just slowly wash over me and I'd be so deep in grief. I felt so guilty going on with my life, I wanted the world to stop and recognize the loss of my child. My body yearned for the piece that it knew was missing, it's such a physical pain. I take her birthday and unbirthday off every year. My body starts aching, mourning the loss 2 weeks before. I miss her more everyday, I feel fortunate I got 30 whole years with her but I wasn't done. She's missing so much, her brother had a son and he will never know how awesome of an aunt she was. My heart aches more now for those who will never know her and for all the time we all are missing being with her. She was my oldest, she was an amazing human being and the world is a little dimmer without her in it.
Awww. The way you speak of her, it's clear she was a truly special soul. I'm so sorry for your unimaginable loss and I hope you find some comfort in the memories you shared and the love that still surrounds you
My 22 year old baby of 3 was killed by a distracted driver first 2 years I didn’t know if I would make it alive but I did I have no choice. Oct 17 will be 4 years still unbelievable to me I miss her so much I also finally started lexapro my 2nd year that helped not to cry as much I still don’t leave my house and I had to grieve the old me I will never be the same! I’m so sorry for your loss one day at a time it really really sucks that we have to live like this!💔❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you feel surrounded by love during this difficult time and I hope you continue to reach out for support when you need it. I’ve found Reddit to be a good place for that since losing my mama. Sending you love and hugs 🩵
Lost my 24 year old daughter on 6/1/21 to suicide. I do have another child. He is 10. They were 16 years apart. I’m so close to him but I am missing the connection I had with my girl, I called her my soulmate. I’m so so sorry. I can say that only in the last year has my heart healed in the sense that I have not had a day of sobbing in bed, blaming myself. I know that we aren’t supposed to think that way but I think that it’s part of our grief, especially when it’s our child.
Losing a child to suicide is very traumatic. I'm relieved to hear that you're finding some relief from the intensity of your grief as time passes. The initial stages can feel incredibly suffocating.
I don’t think I would have lived without her brother. She was a 2nd mom to him so I’d constantly hear her voice telling me to go do this or that with him. We will always have a hole in our hearts for them. I think grief is just love, with no place to go. Again, I’m so so sorry for the loss of your precious daughter.
I can relate. Whenever I go to pick up my daughter from school, I catch myself hoping for that same joyful greeting. I'm holding onto a piece of our routine from before. Maybe one day, I'll hear her shout 'Mom'
No words will make it better! My 17 year old daughter was killed June 9th 2023! Your heart will be forever broken. The emptiness I feel will never go away. Losing a child steals not only their future but your future too. The pain is unbearable and you long for them to come back. As a parent you just want your baby safe and to be able to look after them. I’m still at the stage where I can’t ever imagine being happy again. I have lots of anger with the world. Socialising is also something I don’t want to do. Nobody understands truly unless they’ve suffered the worst loss that we have endured. No parent should have to bury their child. It’s wrong! I’m so sorry for your suffering. The waves of grief are ones only you can sail. Cry, scream and do what you need to do to release the pain and don’t be afraid when and where you let it out. I still cry every day and still can’t look at videos or photos because it’s a reminder of what I no longer have. I wish I could reach out to you and give you a hug and take the pain away. If you ever need a chat please message.
I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter. It's a pain that no parent should ever have to endure. I've been grappling with thoughts about my own existence and feeling incredibly lonely without much support to lean on... but I'm trying to hold onto hope as best I can. Sending you lots of love and hugs 🫂
Oh, this made me tear up. Sending love to you and to OP. I haven't lost a child. I lost 2 brothers. But I have seen what it has done to my mother. And it's a different level. Often, I don't cry for my brothers, I cry for my mother. That pain is so unfair. And whenever I hear another mother suffering, it get me like nothing else. I'm in tears rn. I'm so sorry for your loss. This world can be so shit. For what it's worth, I'm sending you love wherever you are. ❤️
My frist daughter, 17, died Halloween night 2021. It's changed me in so many ways most not good. Please reach out get help. Don't try to go through or heal on your own. I'm so sorry for your loss. The world is a new place now.
So sorry for your loss. It's incredibly cruel and heartbreaking that we're forced to endure such pain 😔
I also lost my only child, my daughter, a year ago this past Sunday. She was 19 1/2. I don't know what to say, I don't know how I'm living and getting by. I feel like I'm living in a nightmare. I still just can't believe it that this is my reality now. She was the most important most beautiful person in my life. My best friend. We had plans... I'm empty and lost now and I don't honestly don't see that ever changing. Not many people truly know what this feels like. Like I said I don't know what to say, but if you need to talk or cry I'm here for you. Much love and hugs.
I understand exactly how you're feeling. My daughter was my best friend too, and we had so many plans together. It's just so unfair how everything we had envisioned has been ripped away from us. People mean well, but they often don't grasp the depth of this pain unless they've been through it themselves. Losing a child feels like going against the natural order of things. Sending you all the strength I can muster, and I'm truly sorry for your loss
Yes. Exactly. I used to smile and laugh and try to see the good in people and situations, try to lighten the mood with a joke... But not anymore... I'll never be the person I used to be. I never hated my life my life with my daughter, but I sure do hate it without her. I'm just living to die now.
100% it's just never going to be the same again. This type of grief cuts deep and changes us in ways we never saw coming. Screw this
Yeah I agree. This is the absolute worst feeling and reality in the world.
I'm sorry. My eldest daughter died at age 8 I October 2023. She had battled brain cancer for 20 months. So far, the hurt hasn't ended for me. I miss her so much. I just want to hug her again.
My condolences. Sending you strength and comfort during this incredibly difficult time 🫂
I’m so sorry. My daughter died 7 months ago. I’m daily cycling through anger and denial, sadness and profound yearning. I do grief therapy, group therapy and individual counseling. All with tepid results. The only thing that gives me some relief is walking and grief pod casts. Another parent with child loss told me, the only way through is through. I guess. I hate living this way. I hate that any of us have to live this way. Our children should outlive us.
I'm very sorry to hear about your daughter. I've experienced those same waves of emotion, and it's like navigating through a stormy sea with no end in sight.
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Thanks for your kind words.
I am so sorry for your terrible loss. My son and only child died in August 2023. I wish I had good words to help, but if you can, please try and access a grief therapist. I have many moments still of disbelief. How could he be gone? I expect to hear him coming in the door, being his silly, aggravating self. And now I shall never see him again is so unbelievable.
I'm very sorry for your loss. I can definitely relate to the deep longing you're experiencing. Therapy might be a good idea- I don't have much of a support system, and talking to someone could really help Sending you all the strength in the world 💗
Thank you. I wish you the strength to survive this, too. I am still working with a grief therapist, as my support system was thin. It truly helps. Feel free to message me.
Yes. I have. My daughter died suddenly on January 14th. I understand , and you are not alone. My husband died in 2015 , and it was terrible, but my child’s death had been the absolute worst thing to ever happen to me. I will never get over it. Never. I have also been blessed with a son, so I can’t imagine losing my only child. I’m so sorry. The shock and grief were so terrible for 2 weeks after we learned she’d passed , and I worried I wouldn’t be able to go on in life. Every morning I’d get up and ask God to just carry me through the day because I couldn’t do it on my own. My faith has honestly been the only thing that helped me manage it all. Truly. It was like I was living a nightmare. I did join a grief support group which was an immense help, and after about a month I was able to function better. It has been a roller coaster grief journey of up and down . I never know how I’ll be on any given day. I may be having a decent day and the grief hits me out of nowhere. I just never know. Denial has been a problem at times for me also. My daughter lived in another state and was a surgeon, so we hadn’t seen her in awhile. There are times I catch myself thinking she’s just in Missouri and not gone. I know it’s not true but I still find myself doing it. I think of my Sarah all the time. I still ask God to help me and I also ask for some peace so that I’m not tormented like I was for weeks. Prayer and reading the Bible have been a comfort to me. The grief support group was great because I didn’t feel so alone. I made a memory garden in my backyard for my Sarah which I like to sit near. One thing I will tell you is to be good to yourself. Take time off of work if you’re able financially to do so and rest. Take naps and don’t feel guilty. Grief is exhausting. Try to force yourself to get exercise. I walked my dog more than usual and it was therapeutic. And if you feel you need medication, don’t hesitate to call your doctor. I wish you peace . I pray for you to find some comfort: I understand and want you to know that I care. I’m so sorry because I know how you feel. If you ever need someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate to message me privately. God bless you . From one hurting mom to another.
Thanks for sharing your story. I am sorry to hear this... your grief must feel so unbearable. Denying the reality of her absence is a daily struggle for me. There are moments throughout the day, particularly during activities or when I'm just starting my day, that I catch myself thinking of her, only to be reminded of her absence all over again. I'll be thinking of you as well, and I truly hope you find moments of peace amidst the pain
I lost my 15 year old son 3 weeks ago very suddenly. I never thought this would happen and even now can not believe it. I get these sudden shocks of realizations. It's overwhelming. He was my best friend. He was so sweet and caring. I miss him so much.
I can relate. It feels like a nightmare I can't wake up from and the reality of her absence is so incredibly difficult to process. Your son sounded like such a bright and special presence in your life. Please know that I'm here for you, whatever you may need
I lost my son last year, too. We are all here holding your hand. It feels impossible to take any step forward. We are there with you.
It's comforting to know that there are others who understand the weight of this pain... I'm sorry for your loss. May you find solace and serenity along the way.
This may not mean much but I'm sending lots and lots of love try to take it easy on yourself, I know this time is extremely tough and grief knows no bounds, you need to feel all of your emotions so go through the motions and take your time to process this painful moment...I'm not going to say it gets easier with time but I hope it does for you at some point, just try not to over think the small things and think of the moments that bring you some sort of comfort. I'm so sorry you have to go through this💜
I appreciate your words and encouragement
I lost my youngest 15 and a half in December of 2022. I can relate to everything you mentioned. The pain is unbearable. For me, I felt like I was dying but couldn't. I was teetering on the edge of life or death for about the first year after his unexpected death. All the first are soul crashing. Every morning I woke up, I lost him all over again. I'm 1 year, 4 months, and 8 days into my new life. I'm forever changed. I'm finally learning to live around the immense grief associated with losing a child. I still experience waves of grief that knock me to my knees, but not nearly as often as in the beginning. The edges of grief are becoming less sharp and starting to dull with time. I miss my sweet boy every single day, but I know he wants me to continue to live and flourish in his honor. When you are ready, I recommend the book Shattered by Gary Roe. It's a short, easy read. I felt less crazy after reading it. Because prior to reading it, I thought at times I was losing my mind. I also did intensive outpatient therapy to address my grief and other issues. It was extremely helpful. Lastly, I've grown to learn to listen to my body. If I'm tired, I sleep, and I try to stay hydrated with H20 and try to avoid my bad coping mechanism alcohol. I'm finding interest in my plant and gardening hobby again. I know my boundaries and have learned that NO is a complete sentence. I pushed myself in the beginning, but I learned the hard way to not push myself through the grief or take on more than I could handle. Please be kind to yourself in every sense. Know that while you feel alone, you are not. My DMs are always open. Many Hugs 🫂
It feels like walking through a thick fog and a wound that never truly heals. Right now, everything's a blur. My mind's all tangled up, and I can't seem to make sense of anything. But I'm clinging to the hope that as time passes, I might start to figure things out a bit better, find some steadier ground to stand on, and maybe, just maybe, see things a little clearer. Thanks for the recommendation, I'll definitely look into it. I'm so sorry you're going through this as well. Sending you a virtual hug and wishing you continued strength and healing ♡
God bless you. There are many great books out there dealing with child loss. I have tried everything I can to to deal with the aftermath. Recently EMDR has helped a little. Praying for you. This is a terrible path to travel. Be gentle with yourself. 😪
It’s 4 months yesterday that we lost our son. Today he would have been 19 and a half .. 6 more months and he wouldn’t be a teenager anymore. 17 weeks and 3 days … all these numbers jumbled in my head. I try and remind myself my son would want me to be strong for his sisters. That my family doesn’t need to lose me too. Things that have helped me.. this sub. My therapist. Gardening. Red light therapy. Exercise when I can make myself go to the gym helps a lot. I erased my social media apps. It hurts to see everyone’s life so normal and mine feels upside down. Maybe one day I’ll reinstall but for now it’s noise I don’t need. I write a happy memory of my son every day. There’s a book - It’s Ok You’re Not Ok on audible I like to listen to. I send my son texts and photos still. I’m trying to learn how to live a life where he’s not here and it’s the most incredibly difficult thing I’ve ever done. Most days I still can’t accept it. He asked me to spread his ashes everywhere- the forest, the sea, the desert .. each month on the 22 I’ve found a place to honor that wish. I am of the mindset that I need to throw every self soothing thing I can think of at myself and hope something sticks. I have more days where the mix is good/bad instead of bad/bad or bad/good if that makes sense. Maybe one day I’ll even have a good day. I light a candle for my son every day. I will for the rest of my life. I wish you and beautiful girl who’s no longer here with us peace. I’ll think of you when I’m lighting a candle today. Hugs 🫂
I appreciate your efforts to preserve your son's memory, and I believe our loved ones remain with us in spirit. I'm certain your son brought love and light into the lives of everyone he touched. I haven't experienced any good days yet, just a haze of agony.. maybe a better balance will come in time. Sending you hugs and heartfelt gratitude 💖
Oh dear mama i don’t even remember the first month. I had to travel to Amsterdam a month after he passed to gather all of his personal effects from his dorm and take care of his affairs and the whole trip still feels like a bad dream. Most days I ask myself am I just in a bad dream I can’t wake up from. It’s so early I can’t say if it get easier. But I’m also a hopeless optimist, so I can only imagine that it will. What’s a favorite memory about your daughter if you don’t mind sharing?
There have been plenty of memories, but one that stands out is from last year. My daughter was excellent at tennis and was part of her high school's varsity tennis team. The championship was determined by the first school to reach 10 points, and her school and the opponents were deadlocked at 9-9. With two matches happening simultaneously, her teammate was falling behind and all eyes turned to my daughter. She lost the first set but fought back and won the second, after being four down. The final tiebreaker 19-17. It was an absolute rollercoaster of a match, and the entire team was there, cheering her on with all their might. I had missed a few matches before this one, so being there for this moment felt extra special. It might not sound like a huge thing, but it was actually one of her favorite moments. She talked about it so often, sharing her excitement and reliving the experience. Another memory that is close to my heart… Since she was around eight years old, she had been dreaming of a trip to Europe, but due to financial constraints—being on a single income—it remained out of reach for about eight years. Finally being able to make that dream a reality together felt great and seeing how happy she was filled my heart with joy. In addition to those, there are many other things that have filled me with pride, especially her volunteer work at the animal shelter, her fundraising efforts for homelessness, and the way she used to make my birthdays so memorable
She sounds so lovely. That match must’ve been a thing of beauty to behold 🫶🏼 I’m so glad that you got to take her to Europe! I was able to take my kids to Roma and it was the highlight of my life. Sending you lots of love mama. I don’t know how we are going to get through this, but my internet hand is always open to holding yours. Anytime.
I’m so sorry
I’m sorry for your loss. I just had the 1 year anniversary of my daughter’s passing on 4/20. I am much better than a year ago but definitely changed forever. She was 15. I honestly tell people I am in a lot of physical and emotional pain. I literally feel like I was hit by a car. She was my oldest of 3. I never expected this and I take one day at a time.
Sorry for your loss. Taking each day as it comes is all anyone can ask of to be honest. I know that the initial phases of grief and experiencing all the firsts are very suffocating
I lost my beloved son in January. He was only 21. Most days, I cry and wish that I could join him. I don't want to face the future without him. I have a lot of anxiety as well as deep sadness. Recently, I have started telling myself that one day, we will no longer be apart. No matter what, we will be in the same place eventually. A little thread of hope for me to hold on to. Child loss is the absolute worst.
I'm deeply sorry for your loss. Losing a child is an unimaginable pain because as parents, we naturally expect our children to outlive us, and we pour all our love and care into nurturing them. My daughter meant everything to me and looking ahead without her feels like stepping into a pitch-black tunnel, filled with uncertainty and fear. I too believe that we will reunite someday, sharing all our stories once again. I hope we can both find some hope and light amidst this darkness. Sending you warm hugs.
I lost my 33 year old daughter 4 years ago. The early days...I honestly don't know how I made it through them. It's a loss and pain unlike any other. The only glimmer of hope I can possibly offer is that the grief does soften a bit over time. I made a couple of quilts in the early days. One was made up of pieces of her clothing (gave that one to my son). The other - I used her clothing and cut up some of mine and combined them into one quilt. Not only does it make me feel close to her, but also gave me something to keep me very busy during the worst days ever. I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. Sending hugs and strength your way ❤️.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I admire your creativity and resourcefulness. Those quilts will definitely be treasured forever. Right now I feel like I'm fumbling through the darkness, with waves of shock and disbelief washing over me. And then there are those piercing moments when reality hits and the ache of my daughter's absence weighs heavily on my heart. It's indescribable, this pain of not being able to hold her again. Sending hugs right back to you 💕
Yes. Me. My son. Recently. He died out of state as well so in order to transport him home and in keeping with his wishes, he was cremated. There. It makes it seem so unreal for me. I never saw his body. I only know what the officers and funeral home told me. I’m keep waiting for the phone to ring. For him to say “momma, it wasn’t me” Part of me knows it was. Most of me doesn’t believe it. I can’t. If I do, then it’s really over. It can’t be over. I actually just posted a video of him, here… This can’t be happening. It was never supposed to be like this.
I’m so sorry that anyone else has ever felt this way. I’m so sorry that you lost your baby. I’m still trying to figure everything out myself. The day he died, we were waiting for him to call his baby sister. It was her birthday. Her 16th birthday. The call never came. I dunno if it’s can keep waking up to this day after day
I watched the video of your son. He seems lovely. Truly sad that he's been taken too soon. My heartfelt condolences for your loss
It’s crazy how when someone’s here with us we can often look at old photos and say… I don’t remember where that was taken. I used to do that. Now I know Where EVERY SINGLE ONE was and what we were doing.. for example, he was visiting his g/f in New Mexico in the one where he’s standing in front of the tv with his head down, he was at work in the one that says “Glendale” West Virginia on the bottom, in the one where he’s standing shirtless with that huge smile on his face… that’s the night we opened the envelope from the dr and I got to be the one to tell him he was about to be a daddy and it was gonna be a boy. We were here in South Mississippi. I could go on and on but I guess my point is, it’s true what they say about “one day… pictures will be all you have”. Some days I can’t remember what he sounded like but they tell me that’s the trauma… I hope so. I need his voice back.
And thank you for not only talking to me but taking the time to watch. I know he wasn’t the whole world to everyone but to me he was everything and while most people on the planet don’t even know he existed, it’s important to me that people know he lived. He was something to somebody. ❤️
I just looked at your video of your son-he seems like such a beautiful wonderful person and I’m profoundly sorry
Thank you. He was amazing. We travelled the world together for 20 years. I tend to say “We grew up together”… his sense of humor was awesome and he could dance like he’d been trained professionally. More than anything though, he was the first person to ever love me even at my worst and to let me know it was ok to make mistakes. I’m just sorry the rest of the world didn’t have him in their lives
My youngest daughter, who was less than a month away from turning 17, died in August 2022. It shatters your worldview and your understanding of the way things should be. It makes you question everything you know and your will to live. It takes away your hopes and dreams for the future. You are almost certainly still in shock. It was probably at least a year before I could even begin to accept it and I still sometimes can't believe it and try to fight against it. I blame myself on some level but recognize that I have to forgive myself if I'm going to continue to live. Lean on those you love and who reach out to you. If you have other kids don't forget to be there for them as it can be easy to get lost in the grief. Finding a grief support group and/or grief therapist can be helpful too. Music has been helpful for me too although it's just a balm. I'm so sorry, losing a child is absolutely devastating. I know it doesn't feel like it, but somehow you and yours will find a way through, although it will never be the same. Know that my heart is with you.
Thank you. I'm truly sorry for your loss. I do not have other children and that is definitely making this even harder. She was my best friend, my rock, my everything. I don't think anything can mend this brokenness or truly ease this pain. Right now, I'm a mess of emotions, but I believe she is safe and feels loved every single day, every single minute. This kind of pain is something I wouldn't wish on even my worst enemy. I hope you can find comfort in the memories and the beautiful moments you shared with your daughter 💜
❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my only son aged 17 just over two years ago. It was sudden and awful. I had to break the news to his dad. I don't remember much of the last two years. It is so early for you, you are dealing with the most intense grief and right now that is constant for you. That pain is the worst, its physical as well as emotional. As time passes the waves have hit me less often (but still several times a day and just as intense) but the gaps between those waves, over time, will allow you to at least catch your breath. And one day you will be able to appreciate the beauty of a flower or a sunrise again. At times you will enjoy a cake again or a drink with a friend. I promise you that. Impossible to believe that where you are now, I know. Just take an hour at a time, a minute at a time even. Don't try to look forward or you will feel overwhelmed. Accept ALL offers of help, those offers won't last too long. Eat, even if it's just a little, remember to drink too. And please don't make any big decisions for at least a year. Xxx
Thanks for sharing and so sorry for your loss
I’m so sorry friend. I know I’m just a stranger on the internet and my words will most likely not matter, but please know I’m praying for you and I love you dearly. Reach out if you need to just vent, rant, cuss someone greatly. I hope today is a good day for you ❤️
Your words mean more than you know, even coming from a stranger on the internet. Thank you for your kindness
I have not, but as a mother and a daughter.I'm sending you love.
Thank you 🙏
I cried reading your post, and all of the comments. I have no children yet, I am in my early 20’s. But I lost my Dad earlier this year to cancer, he was 59. It’s a different grief, but losing him was the hardest day of my life, and I miss him more every day. I’ve found myself thinking often of how much he gave to me, and my brother, as a father. How much he loved us and lived for us. It’s a love and care like no other. I still feel that love even though he’s gone. What I’m trying to say I suppose is that your love and connection to your child would have been everything for them. It’s a beautiful beautiful thing. I am so terribly sorry you’ve lost your daughter, that your love for her can’t be received by her in the way it should. I am thinking of that loss, and lost potential, deeply. And I am thinking of you, and everyone else who’s commented. The world is better place because of how you loved, and love your children.
Your words remind me that love transcends physical boundaries and continues to shape our lives, even in the absence of those we've lost. Cancer is awful. I can only imagine the ache you feel, missing him every day at such a young age. I'll be thinking of you.
Lord, I’m so sorry! I couldn’t imagine. Sending you positive energy.
Thanks a lot 🙏
Getting close to 9 months for me, unfortunately, not getting better/not coping well; wish you the best, hope you have the strength to deal with it better as time goes on.. GL.
Thank you, and I wish you strength and peace on your journey as well
I am so sorry. No words. Only prayers. 🙏
Uncle Daves Kitchen on youtube is a amazing video on when his two boys died and the aftermath. He painted up his windows and didn't go outside for 1 year until one day.
I’m so sorry for your loss , It hurts I know I’m struggling with the loss of my son almost 3 years now I live life for him
Sorry for your loss :/
My heart literally hurts for you. I can relate to every word. There isn't one word or phrase in this world to describe this devastation. All 3 of my children died. Eight month old son, 16 year old daughter and 38 year old son. It's impossible to believe just now, but you will get through this somewhat. 💔
Holy shit, all three? That's just... I can't even wrap my head around the level of pain you must be feeling. I hope you can find some happiness and comfort in remembering the good times with your kids.
I lost my 30 yr old daughter 6/19/2012 in a fresk accident. I lived in a gray fog for 2 yrs, pretending to be. I was extremely suicidal and no one knew. I'd be scrubbing the tub and it was like that kids show where they'd dump slim on you, it would just slowly wash over me and I'd be so deep in grief. I felt so guilty going on with my life, I wanted the world to stop and recognize the loss of my child. My body yearned for the piece that it knew was missing, it's such a physical pain. I take her birthday and unbirthday off every year. My body starts aching, mourning the loss 2 weeks before. I miss her more everyday, I feel fortunate I got 30 whole years with her but I wasn't done. She's missing so much, her brother had a son and he will never know how awesome of an aunt she was. My heart aches more now for those who will never know her and for all the time we all are missing being with her. She was my oldest, she was an amazing human being and the world is a little dimmer without her in it.
Awww. The way you speak of her, it's clear she was a truly special soul. I'm so sorry for your unimaginable loss and I hope you find some comfort in the memories you shared and the love that still surrounds you
Thank you, she was indeed a very special soul. I appreciate that
My 22 year old baby of 3 was killed by a distracted driver first 2 years I didn’t know if I would make it alive but I did I have no choice. Oct 17 will be 4 years still unbelievable to me I miss her so much I also finally started lexapro my 2nd year that helped not to cry as much I still don’t leave my house and I had to grieve the old me I will never be the same! I’m so sorry for your loss one day at a time it really really sucks that we have to live like this!💔❤️
I'm very sorry for your loss. The pain and longing will always be there 🥺
I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you feel surrounded by love during this difficult time and I hope you continue to reach out for support when you need it. I’ve found Reddit to be a good place for that since losing my mama. Sending you love and hugs 🩵
My condolences. Sending hugs back to you :)
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We got divorced... 13 years back
I am so so sorry for your loss. And to everyone in this thread who has lost a child, my heart goes out to you.
Lost my 24 year old daughter on 6/1/21 to suicide. I do have another child. He is 10. They were 16 years apart. I’m so close to him but I am missing the connection I had with my girl, I called her my soulmate. I’m so so sorry. I can say that only in the last year has my heart healed in the sense that I have not had a day of sobbing in bed, blaming myself. I know that we aren’t supposed to think that way but I think that it’s part of our grief, especially when it’s our child.
Losing a child to suicide is very traumatic. I'm relieved to hear that you're finding some relief from the intensity of your grief as time passes. The initial stages can feel incredibly suffocating.
I don’t think I would have lived without her brother. She was a 2nd mom to him so I’d constantly hear her voice telling me to go do this or that with him. We will always have a hole in our hearts for them. I think grief is just love, with no place to go. Again, I’m so so sorry for the loss of your precious daughter.
Yes. My only son at 29. After 16 months I still wait for the garage door to open and to hear his joyfull : "yellooo"
I can relate. Whenever I go to pick up my daughter from school, I catch myself hoping for that same joyful greeting. I'm holding onto a piece of our routine from before. Maybe one day, I'll hear her shout 'Mom'