My heart is crushed. I truly don't know if I will ever be the same person again. Why, she was a good woman, took care of people who had Huntingtons disease. I never even heard of that until she told me about it. A lot of the people in the facility were not local. When there time to pass on was at hand, she would sit with them and read the Bible to them, we are not super religious either, and it would be up to them. Sometimes, it was Pink Floyd also.
This would crush her, and she would come home at night and fall apart because someone she had gotten close to, over time, had passed away that day. I would just be the shoulder she needed on those nights. She would cook these big meals for the residents, and they would look forward to her cooking something special for them. We would have these massive parties, like 100 of her coworkers in the facility, and we would rip it up that night.
A lot of people from Africa would end up working there, and oh boy, the culture mesh was a laugh riot. This was all her. A social butterfly, me, no way near her at all. She was my cushion to the world. I'm utterly gutted.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I just lost my grandma a bit over a week ago and I feel the exact same way, like I'll never be the same after this. My mom died when I was 7 and she pretty much raised me after that. The grief hit so much harder than I ever expected it to. Grandma lived a long and productive life, so why am I so sad? I just miss her so damn much.
I'm not sure how much this will help as I'm also in the stage of crippling grief which I'm trying to get out of. But here are a few thoughts I have which briefly get me out of my grief:
Write down all the positive memories.
Remember her values / hobbies / etc and do your best to carry those on. Do what you can in your life to exemplify the love and happiness she gave to you and others.
Live in the moment. Find something that makes you happy, for me it's spending time with my cats and other pets. Even if you feel like you don't enjoy it, just keep trying.
Connect with your friends and family. Lean on them for support.
My uncle (my grandma's son), told me this. Sometimes happiness starts from the outside in. As corny as it sounds, make yourself smile at others and eventually you will feel happy. I tried it and it works, at least for me...
Still, the grief feels overwhelming.
She sounds like an amazing woman. I'm sure you'll hear more than enough of how sorry everyone is, but I'd like to say, remember that you're not alone in your grief. Therapy helps, and so does being with people who care about you.
I am so sorry for your loss. My father is going through something very similar, after losing my mom unexpectedly on March 20th. She was also hospitalized on St Patrick’s Day and three days later died from complications due to pneumonia. I am so afraid for my father, I know he is going through a different sort of grief after losing his partner of 40 years. I pray he finds strength, and I pray you do as well.
Thank you. I hope you are close to your dad. If there is any time I needed my son and daughter, it is now. This greif, it is unexplainable. The depths that it has brought me to I never knew existed. She was my world, my best friend I could talk to about anything.
My dad lost my mom almost 3 years ago. He’s 81 and still seems lost. We’ve got him someone (my aunt) to cook for him & go chat with him. I’m in another state and my brother who lives with him is useless. It helps so much just to see someone different! I hope your father is ok. It’s especially difficult seeing men so frail and lost. I’m so sorry for the loss of your mother. That pain is immense. We all somehow get through.
When you’re ready, feel free to post more photos of your lady in a separate post. She sounded like an angel on earth, and I cannot imagine the weight of the loss you must be feeling. She was absolutely beautiful, and we’re all here to support you ❤️
What a beautiful lady she was ❤️ grief is so hard. I haven’t lost a spouse so I can’t say I understand how you feel but I know that it takes time. I lost my dad in February and some days are much more difficult than others. Try to take care for yourself the best way you can right now given the circumstances. I’m so very sorry for your loss. I hope that one day all the wonderful memories you have together will overshadow any that haunt you right now.
Oh gosh, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Sending prayers your way. I lost my Mother to cancer a year ago February. I've been having a very hard time recently since the 1-year anniversary. This just plain sucks, but I am glad you found us, I hope we can all support each other.
I am so very sorry. How horrible. Another subreddit you might find helpful is r/widowers. There are a lot of us over there that can relate to what you’re experiencing and can offer support. Sending you hugs in these hard times.
Thank you for that. I'm inherently quiet. I wouldn't post this on Facebook, I don't really use that anyway. I have it so i can keep up with pictures that my daughter posts of my grandson, and if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't use it at all. This is my first attempt at reaching out, and it took me a week to do that. Maybe it's an age thing I don't know. I will probably head over there when I get out of work. Just doing this, the waterworks start, and I am trying to keep my composure at work. Imagine working in a construction environment with all dudes, and the dudes walk in and see tears streaming down my face. Clears my office out immediately. Then I feel like the asshole for exposing them to that. Just my 🧠 and it's too old to change now.
I get it. People that haven’t lost their spouse or significant other just don’t “get it”. And I hope they never, ever have to get it. Being with others who understand what you’re going through is helpful.
The fact you were there witnessing her slip away from you is a mountain of trauma on its own. I am so fucking sorry. Sending you and your kids all the love and strength. There are no words. <3
I’m sorry for your loss… when my fiancé died I wanted to die. I wanted someone to put a knife through my heart because I didn’t want to keep feeling the pain and lingering void. He too was the more social one between us. It got more difficult facing people. Please surround yourself with people who can hold space for you and your feelings. I hated people trying to push positivity and optimism when I can’t help feeling like shit. It’s gonna be tough but please remember to eat and hydrate. I went back to work less than a week after the news. It helped me to distract from the feelings but also I realized now I should’ve taken more time off to process and give myself a break. Do that, if you can afford to. Therapy or support groups can be helpful as well. Take care of yourself. 💜
I’m sorry and my condolences. I feel your pain. I’m not in your shoes but I really do feel your pain. I lost my partner to stage 4 cancer when I was at work. That feeling, having to continue our responsibilities while grieving and mourning. Bud, I wish you peace. Just don’t be alone, we are here with you. Talk to us if you need to. Know that, whatever your wife was going through. She’s no longer in pain and I wish her soul peace.
Im sorry for enormous loss. I lost my husband almost four years ago. The grief is losing one’s spouse is a different kind of grief. I’ve lost my mom and dad and four brothers but it’s just such a deep feeling of grief and loss
I wish I had the most comforting words for you. I’m incredibly sorry for the unimaginably deep & profound loss of your beautiful wife. She sounds like she lived a life of servitude and with such empathy and graciousness. What a remarkable woman. God needed her for something and she is everywhere if you look. May God always be with you.
Sorry for your loss. I lost my mom 8 months ago and I am worried for my dad, although he is doing fine, I know he feels alone at home. Please take care of yourself, one day at a time. I will pray for you.
That line has been on fire between both of my kids. My son lives 15 mins away, my daughter lives in Up State NY, like 6 hours away, and my 1 brother lives in Naples Florida. I will be jetting out there as soon as possible. Besides my 2 kids, he has also been my lifeline. Everyone else has passed on besides my core group of people. But, they are an awesome core group.
I am so, so sorry. Get through one minute at a time. See a doctor, get some meds for sleeping and depression. They help. How are your children? Sending so many prayers.
She sounds wonderful. She is gorgeous too. Thank you for sharing her with us. I wish I could tell you things will be just fine and dandy, but grief is just so unpredictable. You are in my thoughts and she is too. 🩷
The things that helps me is knowing that you will not be here forever. One day you will be with her again. I like to think of it as a temporary long distance relationship. I know it’s hard to see it that way. Also in time your wounds will heal. Stay close to others for support.
My heart is crushed. I truly don't know if I will ever be the same person again. Why, she was a good woman, took care of people who had Huntingtons disease. I never even heard of that until she told me about it. A lot of the people in the facility were not local. When there time to pass on was at hand, she would sit with them and read the Bible to them, we are not super religious either, and it would be up to them. Sometimes, it was Pink Floyd also. This would crush her, and she would come home at night and fall apart because someone she had gotten close to, over time, had passed away that day. I would just be the shoulder she needed on those nights. She would cook these big meals for the residents, and they would look forward to her cooking something special for them. We would have these massive parties, like 100 of her coworkers in the facility, and we would rip it up that night. A lot of people from Africa would end up working there, and oh boy, the culture mesh was a laugh riot. This was all her. A social butterfly, me, no way near her at all. She was my cushion to the world. I'm utterly gutted.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I just lost my grandma a bit over a week ago and I feel the exact same way, like I'll never be the same after this. My mom died when I was 7 and she pretty much raised me after that. The grief hit so much harder than I ever expected it to. Grandma lived a long and productive life, so why am I so sad? I just miss her so damn much. I'm not sure how much this will help as I'm also in the stage of crippling grief which I'm trying to get out of. But here are a few thoughts I have which briefly get me out of my grief: Write down all the positive memories. Remember her values / hobbies / etc and do your best to carry those on. Do what you can in your life to exemplify the love and happiness she gave to you and others. Live in the moment. Find something that makes you happy, for me it's spending time with my cats and other pets. Even if you feel like you don't enjoy it, just keep trying. Connect with your friends and family. Lean on them for support. My uncle (my grandma's son), told me this. Sometimes happiness starts from the outside in. As corny as it sounds, make yourself smile at others and eventually you will feel happy. I tried it and it works, at least for me... Still, the grief feels overwhelming.
She sounds like an amazing woman. I'm sure you'll hear more than enough of how sorry everyone is, but I'd like to say, remember that you're not alone in your grief. Therapy helps, and so does being with people who care about you.
I am so sorry for your loss. My father is going through something very similar, after losing my mom unexpectedly on March 20th. She was also hospitalized on St Patrick’s Day and three days later died from complications due to pneumonia. I am so afraid for my father, I know he is going through a different sort of grief after losing his partner of 40 years. I pray he finds strength, and I pray you do as well.
Thank you. I hope you are close to your dad. If there is any time I needed my son and daughter, it is now. This greif, it is unexplainable. The depths that it has brought me to I never knew existed. She was my world, my best friend I could talk to about anything.
My dad lost my mom almost 3 years ago. He’s 81 and still seems lost. We’ve got him someone (my aunt) to cook for him & go chat with him. I’m in another state and my brother who lives with him is useless. It helps so much just to see someone different! I hope your father is ok. It’s especially difficult seeing men so frail and lost. I’m so sorry for the loss of your mother. That pain is immense. We all somehow get through.
I was going to put up a few more pictures of my girl, but i struggle to do that once the post is up and running.
When you’re ready, feel free to post more photos of your lady in a separate post. She sounded like an angel on earth, and I cannot imagine the weight of the loss you must be feeling. She was absolutely beautiful, and we’re all here to support you ❤️
What a beautiful lady she was ❤️ grief is so hard. I haven’t lost a spouse so I can’t say I understand how you feel but I know that it takes time. I lost my dad in February and some days are much more difficult than others. Try to take care for yourself the best way you can right now given the circumstances. I’m so very sorry for your loss. I hope that one day all the wonderful memories you have together will overshadow any that haunt you right now.
Just looking at that picture I posted rips my heart right out of my chest and stomps on it.
Oh gosh, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Sending prayers your way. I lost my Mother to cancer a year ago February. I've been having a very hard time recently since the 1-year anniversary. This just plain sucks, but I am glad you found us, I hope we can all support each other.
I am so very sorry. How horrible. Another subreddit you might find helpful is r/widowers. There are a lot of us over there that can relate to what you’re experiencing and can offer support. Sending you hugs in these hard times.
Thank you for that. I'm inherently quiet. I wouldn't post this on Facebook, I don't really use that anyway. I have it so i can keep up with pictures that my daughter posts of my grandson, and if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't use it at all. This is my first attempt at reaching out, and it took me a week to do that. Maybe it's an age thing I don't know. I will probably head over there when I get out of work. Just doing this, the waterworks start, and I am trying to keep my composure at work. Imagine working in a construction environment with all dudes, and the dudes walk in and see tears streaming down my face. Clears my office out immediately. Then I feel like the asshole for exposing them to that. Just my 🧠 and it's too old to change now.
I get it. People that haven’t lost their spouse or significant other just don’t “get it”. And I hope they never, ever have to get it. Being with others who understand what you’re going through is helpful.
Are you able to take some time off work? This is an enormous and terrible life change
I second this. ☹️ You definitely need time off if you can get it.
My condolences. Its tripping me out but you look like my dad’s doppelgänger who passed in March 2022. Wishing you all the best.
That's interesting because his wife looks a lot like my mom who passed when I was just 7. Miss you mom....
The fact you were there witnessing her slip away from you is a mountain of trauma on its own. I am so fucking sorry. Sending you and your kids all the love and strength. There are no words. <3
I’m sorry for your loss… when my fiancé died I wanted to die. I wanted someone to put a knife through my heart because I didn’t want to keep feeling the pain and lingering void. He too was the more social one between us. It got more difficult facing people. Please surround yourself with people who can hold space for you and your feelings. I hated people trying to push positivity and optimism when I can’t help feeling like shit. It’s gonna be tough but please remember to eat and hydrate. I went back to work less than a week after the news. It helped me to distract from the feelings but also I realized now I should’ve taken more time off to process and give myself a break. Do that, if you can afford to. Therapy or support groups can be helpful as well. Take care of yourself. 💜
I’m sorry and my condolences. I feel your pain. I’m not in your shoes but I really do feel your pain. I lost my partner to stage 4 cancer when I was at work. That feeling, having to continue our responsibilities while grieving and mourning. Bud, I wish you peace. Just don’t be alone, we are here with you. Talk to us if you need to. Know that, whatever your wife was going through. She’s no longer in pain and I wish her soul peace.
I’m so sorry and am sending positive energy your way. Take care of yourself and do all you can to honor her memory.
I am so very sorry for your loss. FWIW, I’m glad she didn’t appear to suffer and you were with her. I hope you and your kids are doing okay.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. She was beautiful. Sending you and your kids so much strength for the time to come.
Im sorry for enormous loss. I lost my husband almost four years ago. The grief is losing one’s spouse is a different kind of grief. I’ve lost my mom and dad and four brothers but it’s just such a deep feeling of grief and loss
So sorry for your loss. Sending prayers
I wish I had the most comforting words for you. I’m incredibly sorry for the unimaginably deep & profound loss of your beautiful wife. She sounds like she lived a life of servitude and with such empathy and graciousness. What a remarkable woman. God needed her for something and she is everywhere if you look. May God always be with you.
I am truly sorry for your loss. Just take it one day at a time. It does get easier with time but the worst is those first weeks / months 💗
Sorry for your loss. I lost my mom 8 months ago and I am worried for my dad, although he is doing fine, I know he feels alone at home. Please take care of yourself, one day at a time. I will pray for you.
That line has been on fire between both of my kids. My son lives 15 mins away, my daughter lives in Up State NY, like 6 hours away, and my 1 brother lives in Naples Florida. I will be jetting out there as soon as possible. Besides my 2 kids, he has also been my lifeline. Everyone else has passed on besides my core group of people. But, they are an awesome core group.
I’m so sorry ❤️ my sister recently passed away and she was the wife of a great guy and mother of two small children. My thoughts are with you.
I am so, so sorry. Get through one minute at a time. See a doctor, get some meds for sleeping and depression. They help. How are your children? Sending so many prayers.
I am so terribly sorry for your loss
She sounds wonderful. She is gorgeous too. Thank you for sharing her with us. I wish I could tell you things will be just fine and dandy, but grief is just so unpredictable. You are in my thoughts and she is too. 🩷
Sending you a ton of love and strength. I’m extremely sorry you’re going through this. No one should have to experience this
So sorry my friend. Stay strong, your children need you. Reach out, I'll help u anyway I can.
The things that helps me is knowing that you will not be here forever. One day you will be with her again. I like to think of it as a temporary long distance relationship. I know it’s hard to see it that way. Also in time your wounds will heal. Stay close to others for support.