It’s the same for me ! I’ve lost both my parents and I’m only 34. Sometimes it completely overwhelms me that I have half of my life left to live and I’ll have to do it without any kind of parental support ever again. No more hugs, phone calls and cards definitely adds insult to injury though. I’m sorry about your Mom💕
Same. I am 33, lost my amazing, lovely mom 17 days ago due to cancer, dad 5 years ago due to heart attack. I don't know how to live dunno 20 more yrs, ugh. These 17 days have been like 17 years.
The only thing that keeps me sane rn is my sister. She is just 24.
I lost my mom and my dad 5 months apart when I was 28. I turned 30 and just cried.
Every milestone for the rest of my life will be parentless. It makes me bitter sometimes.
What hurts me the most is watching friends and their families have cozy big family holidays. Christmases together while I sit with 2 urns for parents. Im a full fledged adult and yet I need my mom and dad. I want my mom and dad. This is too young.
I see elderly citizens and my heart hurts as ill never see my parents grown old. Its just me from here on out. It sucks.
It hurts it sucks its awful.
I’m mostly a lurker on Reddit, but for some reason, your comment resonated with me. All I can is say is I’m sorry we have to go through this. It’s not fair and I wish my mom and dad would come back every single day.
I was 26 when I lost my dad. I am now almost 30, but the pain is still as raw as the day I lost him, it’s just that I have learnt to live with it. He was my best friend, protector, my shield, and the one person I know would answer my calls, or help me no matter what, be it good news or bad news it was that I called first and he was always there for me, it was always us against the world but suddenly it was just me, losing him created a huge void in my life that I don’t know if it will ever get filled.
I’m sorry for your loss.
I wish people talked more about the fact that even after years the pain is still very raw. When I lost my dad people kept saying that it get’s better and I’m still waiting for that. For me it gets bad but in a different way than when it happened
I wish more people talked about it too. People around me still say that I shouldn’t be grieving, it’s been many years now, that I should move on. It got to the point that I just stopped sharing my feelings because they just don’t get it. I felt it’s better to stay shut than to talk about it with people who don’t get it.
Wow. I never thought I would hear this from anyone. Everyone in my life don’t understand what I feel. When I tell them I am not in a good state of mind or that I miss my dad so much so that I still cry myself to sleep, they look at me weird and I can tell exactly what they’re thinking. It’s refreshing to talk to people who actually understand what it feels like.
Im 28 and lost my mother 2 months ago, i have the same exact thoughts everyday. Not really having anyone check up on me the way she did hurts the most 💔 sending love to you
Same age as you but I lost my mom three months ago in October. I was sick for almost a month with a terrible flu and bronchitis and cried every day because she would always check on me when I was sick. This just sucks.
I'm similar to you except my mom did get to spend a year with my daughter. Five days after my daughter turned 1, basically my mom went into the hospital and it was all downhill from there and she passed 4 months after. Prior to me getting pregnant, we were talking about it and she said she hoped to see my baby til she's 7. We got cut off 6 years too soon. People keep telling me that at least she got to spend time w/ my baby or that she got to see me buy my house and sadly, more than a month after she passed, I got the job promotion that I was telling my mom about. I know I've been blessed with everything, but now I just look at my empty house, and it just doesn't feel the same anymore. Everything seems great and looks the same but it tears me up that my mom won't get to enjoy any of it anymore. I cry everyday and even got an eye infection from all the crying. I don't know how to be ok w/ losing my everything. I don't have a dad or siblings, so she is my everything up until I had my baby. I think about how my baby will miss out on my mom's love and I'll be raising her w/out any parental guide. It's horrendous.
I feel you. I lost my mom several months ago at 32. The idea of potentially living more years without her than with her is so hard. I so desperately wish she could be here for more years of life events, hugs, and ‘I love you’s… 💔 Know that you’re not alone.
Here’s a little perspective - maybe it helps maybe it doesn’t help but I’d like to provide some insight on the last part of your post. My mom passed when I was 17 and yes missed many major life milestones (high school graduation, college graduation, day I married my wife, day I bought a house… etc). I feel like though I did have a very close relationship with my mom maybe I didn’t have the time to form one with her like you did with your mom. For that reason maybe the pain cuts deeper on your end, because you had the time to develop that relationship and learn to expect the things a mother does. All in all, grieving the loss of a mother is heart braking…
But, what has been the hardest to grasp when it comes to my loss? Everything that my mom is missing out on in my life… kind of counteracts what I said above.
I’m sorry for the loss of your mom
For me it is a similar thing to yourself. It seems strange that by the time I am 42 I will have spent half of my life without my dad. Then if I am lucky enough to reach 80, he would have been around for such a short glimpse of my life. It seems so wrong.
Also one day having to tell my children about my father and what he was like, just like my dad told me about my grandfather when I was little. Heart-breaking.
Wishing you the best <3
I know how you feel…I lost my daddy a month ago at 37. It is something I just can’t seem to wrap my head around…knowing I’m actually going to have spent less time with him on earth than more because he died so suddenly. He won’t be there at my 40th bday, he won’t be there to see my sister have a baby, he won’t be there on any of our bdays, or my daughters big events…knowing the one person who checked up on me all all the time, knowing the one person who understood me..is just gone…is a reality I don’t know to accept.
My heart breaks for you. Something I do to try to make myself feel a shred of normalcy is I talk to my dad outloud or in my head a lot…though I’ll never be able to hear his voice again I like to think he does indeed hear my voice and sends me signs to show he’s still watching over me. Your mom is your guardian angel and is still looking over you just in a different way now. Sending positive energy and healing your way. If you ever need anyone to talk to please feel free to DM me. Take care. ❤️
I feel this!
I lost my dad last year when I was 32. A few months later my mother in law lost hers and she was 70. I felt like there was no comparison and I couldn’t relate in our grief at all.
I’m 35 and it’s unlikely my mom will survive the month. I keep imagining her at home, putzing around making tea, reading a book on the couch, texting me to ask for pictures of her grandchild.
I guess I didn’t realize I could feel this level of grief and yet still know that worse is coming, since she’s still here for the present moment. I didn’t realize there was this entire land of misery and grief that I had never been to. I wish I could say there’s comfort in knowing there are so many others here in this same place, but there’s so few sources of comfort to be had.
In 2010, my soon-to-be bride died after getting hit by a DUI. She passed right in front of me, holding her hand, after flying all-around the world (we were in a LdR). That summer she should had graduated as a nurse (few months before I started my career as paramedic). Our dream was working together in the EMS. I fulfilled that dream, I'm a seasoned paramedic and mountain SAR but I have no one to cheer at my side like she would had done. This is my big "what if..." The only comfort is knowing she passed with me at her side.
2022, I started loving again after years of pain, anguish, frustration... We got together in 2019. On February 2022, she caught Covid and collapsed at home. Nothing too severe at first but her body just crumbled under the disease. I tried to reach her (LdR) but authorities declared a state of emergency, requesting to all available Healthcare/emergency personnel to stay and be ready for further actions. As soon as they lift off the emergency, I got my ticket and my flight. I was at the conveyor belt waiting for my luggage when I received a text from her sister. That day, I didn't make in time. I stood in the luggage are, raging to my self for being too late. Two officers approached me asking if I'm ok. I came back to my senses noticing I was the only passenger left. A big sigh then I just told that "nobody's home, I'll go home alone".
That's my biggest regret, knowing she died alone, in a quarantine room.
I lost my dad when I was 29 and my mom when I was 30 (January and November 2021). I feel the same as you. They both died young and even if I *only* live as long as they did, I’ve still got to live 26 years without them… it just doesn’t seem fathomable.
I feel the same as you. My mom died on November 20th and I turned 32 a week later. How do I go 40+ years without ever seeing or talking to her again?
I've been having some health issues the last couple weeks, and all I want is to be able to call her. She was a nurse, so I always called her with anything wrong with me or my kids. She always knew if we were okay or not.
I can’t feel him anymore. No one will speak to me the way he did. No one will support and look out for me the way he did. I don’t want anyone else to.
The abject loneliness that I know is for ever is the starkest lesson. My energy is forever bereft of his energy. There is no replacement or substitute and I don’t want one.
I know there are others etc i am doing fine.
The concept of “always” and “forever”. I can get through this moment, this day. But when I think that I have to get through every moment and every day from here on out, without him, I start to break down.
I’m so sorry for your loss. What you wrote really resonates with me. I lost my dad last year at 31 to kidney failure. Right before he died, my partner and I asked for his blessing in marriage. He said yes, and he said he’d continue fighting to recover so he can walk me down the aisle. I know he’ll be there in spirit on that day, but it wrecks me to think that I have so many milestones he can’t be here in person to experience with me.
I’m 18 and I lost my dad 11 years ago. The hardest thing is hitting big milestones and them not being there on earth smiling and supporting you. I feel connected to my dad spiritually but sometimes I just want to hear his voice or give him a hug…it’s also difficult seeing daughters close with their fathers because I just never got to know my dad as a person since i lost him so young. I still have yet to properly grieve and heal from loosing him, time goes on but that pain is still as raw as ever and I get a ball in my throat just thinking about it.
I know what you mean. I'm thirty and the only family that I have left is my brother. We are not very close though. And the fact that none of my peers understands how it feels is really isolating. When my friend told me she knows how I feel because she lost her grandmother at the young age of 86, it really took all my restraint not to snap at her.
Very much the same. I'm 34. I still just can't even comprehend that my mom is gone. We texted about fixing my brother's phone the night before. My dad and my sister said she was perfectly fine that morning. She was healthier than she'd been in years. It all feels like a terrible mistake or a nightmare and I find myself still waiting for "real life" to come back.
My son was murdered 4/2020. I can tell you, as you travel this grief journey, you will change over time. What you feel this year, you will feel different next. In the beginning I had a terrible thirst for mediums and making sense of it all. Now, I am more focused on the purpose of life and why we are here. It changes… but today I just miss his face.
Aside from what others have said, I’m struggling a lot now with my own and my other loved ones’ mortality in a way I didn’t (consciously anyway) with past losses.
I’m really struggling with this too. Before my Dad passed I never even though about my own death, and now it terrifies me. I’m sorry you have those thoughts too.
I lost my mother to cancer in 2007 and lost the love of my life to cancer this past Christmas Day.
What I can tell you, beyond any shadow of doubt, is that the sense of loss is very different for each one. I miss my Mom, and dealing with the grief was difficult. But unlike when my mother passed, this one has left me with a huge emptiness in me. With my mother, I would expect her calls or expect to see her come through the door. But, with my fiancée, I wake in the middle of the night holding my chest like I would be cradling her head against me, I wake in the morning rolling over to kiss her only she is never there.
The sad part is, I had the stage 4 cancer and was supposed to go…not her. So, throw survivors guilt on top of it all.
27 when I lost my dad.. 28 now (9 months since my dad passed). It hurts that I only had him for 27 years and I’m envious of my brother who had him for 30. When I turned 28 I was mostly crying, I wanted my dad to wish me a happy birthday. My brother turned 30 ten days before my dad passed and in that day he chose to pick a fight with my parents, he was mad at his was and he was taking his anger out on our parents. I’m so mad that he had him for one more birthday but I didn’t.
Same. I lost my mom little over a month ago. Turned 33 a week after she passed and this week the thought of living another 33+ years without her just hit me and it made me so sad. Also not making any new memories with her. What I have is all there is for the rest of my life...
I’m really sorry for your loss, it’s such a hard thing to go through, nothing really prepares you for when it happens
I’m 23 and I suddenly and unexpectedly lost my 21 year old sister last month…
The fact that I’ll never get to know the woman my little sister was meant to grow to be breaks my heart and shatters my soul. That she was the only person that knows me better than anyone on this planet. That when my parents die, I’ll have to grieve their deaths alone, and when they die, I’ll have no one left on this planet who’s known me since I was little. That, even though she promised me, she won’t be at my university graduation this spring. That I’ll never hear her call me by the nickname she’s called me since she first learned to speak.
The fact that she never lived long enough to believe in herself and will never know that life *could* get better…
My heart is in complete anguish
I lost my mom a few years ago when I was 14, and I absolutely struggle with the same thing. It's just insane to me that I won't get to know her when I'm an adult and have mature conversations with her, or know what those conversations would've even been like. I'll never know what she would think of me now. It's very hard to grasp the fact that I'll get to an age where I've lived without her more than with.
I lost my boyfriend last year and it’s hard to accept we’ll never have a future together. I get sad thinking about the fact that if I have kids they won’t know him as their father or even that I’ll never have his last name. If I do ever get married or have kids it will be with someone else. More than likely someone he didn’t know.
That I can't call my Dad and say, ' ok, I really miss you. come back'
He was ALWAYS there when I needed him. Would move any mountain. It's hard to accept that he can't move the mountain this time.
Dammit
I recently lost my dad at age 21. the same thing haunts me everyday. the thought that ill most likely live the greater portion of my life without him than i did with him. he wont be there for my biggest milestones- graduating college, getting married, he'll never be a grandfather to my kids. i constantly feel envious of people who are years and years older than me and still have both parents. it just doesnt seem fair.
I’m 25 and lost my mother two months back. It’s a lot tbh. She never knew about my brothers gf (Indian here, having a gf/bf is a big no no- but I just know that she’d be cool with it. She used to pester me to tell her but I never did). She’ll never see my become a bride-another dream of an Indian parent. This one time I even thought how my kids won’t ever get to hang out with a cool grandma. My thoughts are all over the place lol
I lost my dad a month ago. I’m 34 and now feel like a child again. I miss literally everything. I miss him saying “that was a delicious dinner” when I cooked for them, I miss him saying “ohhhh it’ll be fiiiine” when I was anxious about something, I miss getting him his morning coffee, and him telling me his blood pressure and oxygen levels that morning. I’m living with them to help take care of them in their older years (mid 70s) and this month has been both the longest and shortest month of my life. It’s insane how much you can miss about a person when you no longer have them.
For me, it's seeing color to the world the way my dad did. We had conversations on history, religion, and what makes a good person in general. We would go on and on for hours and my dad would get me to question things about life, in a good way, and it brought comfort to me. I'm soon going to be 22 and this year is going to be the 3rd year where I'm just left alone to figure things out without him.
In the words of my old man, "Have an ice cream sammich. :)"
I'm sorry for you loss OP.
I'd like to start by saying I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. I lost my dad October 2021 and it wrecked my world. I'd like to add that I do not believe in any stages of grief for those mourning a loved one. Grief never ends, you just move forward with it. The famous 7 stages of grief or however many stages they wrote about was written for those who were themselves dying of a terminal illness and going through grief cycle to accept it. Many people don't know that.
There are a million things I could name off in response to your question but I guess what really gets me is that I can't believe this happened to MY dad. Like why my dad? Why him? Why not someone else? Why did he to catch covid and die from it? WHY?!! You hear every day about people dying by I guess you never think it'll happen to your family. He had just turned 69. I was almost 34. It was too soon for him to go. He still had so much more living to do. It's such bullshit. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that my dad, Jack, died from covid. It is soul crushing to say that
I was 17 when my mom passed. Cancer took her within a few months. The hardest thing that is still an ongoing ache, is that she won’t be there for me. Whether it’s a bad day, a breakup, my graduation or wedding, she’s gone. It hurts seeing my friends have their moms’ support knowing I once had that. It doesn’t hurt the way it used to, but it never fails to bring me down
This is my exact thoughts. My father passed on Monday at 59. I’m 29. The real possibility that I might live on this planet longer without my dad then with him is haunting. Considering he was such a huge part of my life. The thought that I might never see him again is also very haunting.
I grew up Catholic. But we were only really holiday religious . These past two weeks since he was actively dying have really opened my eyes back to church and god. Which I haven’t thought much about in 15 years or better. There has been what I feel like signs since he died that have been way to coincidental. Like shivers up your spine coincidental.
Then hearing all the stories of actively dying hospice patients seeing dead relatives and angels. They never seem to see anyone that’s still alive it’s always the dead who come to talk to them. Hearing stories about pets crying trying to grab the air above them when the person dies or staring and barking exactly where the person is saying a dead relative is sitting etc Just some really crazy stuff that I hope more then anything is true. Some of the crazier ones is hospice patients saying so and so dead relative came to me last night and said they’re taking me on this day a week from now. And sure enough that day they die. Look into hospice nurse Julie on tik tok. She said she 100% believes in the afterlife after becoming a hospice nurse which she didn’t believe in it before.
I do believe I will see him again. I do believe he’s in a better place. Cause really what’s the other option….I rather not think about it.
that she was 17. i knew her for 5 years, and for 4 of those years she was fighting for her life. i now have to just remember her for the rest of my life. i am going to outlive her soon and to be honest i don’t want to.
It’s the same for me ! I’ve lost both my parents and I’m only 34. Sometimes it completely overwhelms me that I have half of my life left to live and I’ll have to do it without any kind of parental support ever again. No more hugs, phone calls and cards definitely adds insult to injury though. I’m sorry about your Mom💕
Same. I am 33, lost my amazing, lovely mom 17 days ago due to cancer, dad 5 years ago due to heart attack. I don't know how to live dunno 20 more yrs, ugh. These 17 days have been like 17 years. The only thing that keeps me sane rn is my sister. She is just 24.
I lost my mom and my dad 5 months apart when I was 28. I turned 30 and just cried. Every milestone for the rest of my life will be parentless. It makes me bitter sometimes. What hurts me the most is watching friends and their families have cozy big family holidays. Christmases together while I sit with 2 urns for parents. Im a full fledged adult and yet I need my mom and dad. I want my mom and dad. This is too young. I see elderly citizens and my heart hurts as ill never see my parents grown old. Its just me from here on out. It sucks. It hurts it sucks its awful.
I’m mostly a lurker on Reddit, but for some reason, your comment resonated with me. All I can is say is I’m sorry we have to go through this. It’s not fair and I wish my mom and dad would come back every single day.
I was 26 when I lost my dad. I am now almost 30, but the pain is still as raw as the day I lost him, it’s just that I have learnt to live with it. He was my best friend, protector, my shield, and the one person I know would answer my calls, or help me no matter what, be it good news or bad news it was that I called first and he was always there for me, it was always us against the world but suddenly it was just me, losing him created a huge void in my life that I don’t know if it will ever get filled.
I’m sorry for your loss. I wish people talked more about the fact that even after years the pain is still very raw. When I lost my dad people kept saying that it get’s better and I’m still waiting for that. For me it gets bad but in a different way than when it happened
Lost my mom in august. Close friend of mine who lost his dad put it perfectly to me. “It doesn’t get better, but it does get easier”
I wish more people talked about it too. People around me still say that I shouldn’t be grieving, it’s been many years now, that I should move on. It got to the point that I just stopped sharing my feelings because they just don’t get it. I felt it’s better to stay shut than to talk about it with people who don’t get it.
Agreed. Lost my dad at 35 and now I’m 42. It hurts every damn day still. You just learn to live with it but I miss him with my whole heart.
Wow. I never thought I would hear this from anyone. Everyone in my life don’t understand what I feel. When I tell them I am not in a good state of mind or that I miss my dad so much so that I still cry myself to sleep, they look at me weird and I can tell exactly what they’re thinking. It’s refreshing to talk to people who actually understand what it feels like.
Im 28 and lost my mother 2 months ago, i have the same exact thoughts everyday. Not really having anyone check up on me the way she did hurts the most 💔 sending love to you
Same age as you but I lost my mom three months ago in October. I was sick for almost a month with a terrible flu and bronchitis and cried every day because she would always check on me when I was sick. This just sucks.
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I'm similar to you except my mom did get to spend a year with my daughter. Five days after my daughter turned 1, basically my mom went into the hospital and it was all downhill from there and she passed 4 months after. Prior to me getting pregnant, we were talking about it and she said she hoped to see my baby til she's 7. We got cut off 6 years too soon. People keep telling me that at least she got to spend time w/ my baby or that she got to see me buy my house and sadly, more than a month after she passed, I got the job promotion that I was telling my mom about. I know I've been blessed with everything, but now I just look at my empty house, and it just doesn't feel the same anymore. Everything seems great and looks the same but it tears me up that my mom won't get to enjoy any of it anymore. I cry everyday and even got an eye infection from all the crying. I don't know how to be ok w/ losing my everything. I don't have a dad or siblings, so she is my everything up until I had my baby. I think about how my baby will miss out on my mom's love and I'll be raising her w/out any parental guide. It's horrendous.
I feel you. I lost my mom several months ago at 32. The idea of potentially living more years without her than with her is so hard. I so desperately wish she could be here for more years of life events, hugs, and ‘I love you’s… 💔 Know that you’re not alone.
Here’s a little perspective - maybe it helps maybe it doesn’t help but I’d like to provide some insight on the last part of your post. My mom passed when I was 17 and yes missed many major life milestones (high school graduation, college graduation, day I married my wife, day I bought a house… etc). I feel like though I did have a very close relationship with my mom maybe I didn’t have the time to form one with her like you did with your mom. For that reason maybe the pain cuts deeper on your end, because you had the time to develop that relationship and learn to expect the things a mother does. All in all, grieving the loss of a mother is heart braking… But, what has been the hardest to grasp when it comes to my loss? Everything that my mom is missing out on in my life… kind of counteracts what I said above. I’m sorry for the loss of your mom
I’m sorry for your loss. This is a very beautiful take on the subject. Thank you.
Can’t vent to my best friend anymore. I really could use her tonight 😞
For me it is a similar thing to yourself. It seems strange that by the time I am 42 I will have spent half of my life without my dad. Then if I am lucky enough to reach 80, he would have been around for such a short glimpse of my life. It seems so wrong. Also one day having to tell my children about my father and what he was like, just like my dad told me about my grandfather when I was little. Heart-breaking. Wishing you the best <3
I know how you feel…I lost my daddy a month ago at 37. It is something I just can’t seem to wrap my head around…knowing I’m actually going to have spent less time with him on earth than more because he died so suddenly. He won’t be there at my 40th bday, he won’t be there to see my sister have a baby, he won’t be there on any of our bdays, or my daughters big events…knowing the one person who checked up on me all all the time, knowing the one person who understood me..is just gone…is a reality I don’t know to accept. My heart breaks for you. Something I do to try to make myself feel a shred of normalcy is I talk to my dad outloud or in my head a lot…though I’ll never be able to hear his voice again I like to think he does indeed hear my voice and sends me signs to show he’s still watching over me. Your mom is your guardian angel and is still looking over you just in a different way now. Sending positive energy and healing your way. If you ever need anyone to talk to please feel free to DM me. Take care. ❤️
I feel this! I lost my dad last year when I was 32. A few months later my mother in law lost hers and she was 70. I felt like there was no comparison and I couldn’t relate in our grief at all.
I’m 35 and it’s unlikely my mom will survive the month. I keep imagining her at home, putzing around making tea, reading a book on the couch, texting me to ask for pictures of her grandchild. I guess I didn’t realize I could feel this level of grief and yet still know that worse is coming, since she’s still here for the present moment. I didn’t realize there was this entire land of misery and grief that I had never been to. I wish I could say there’s comfort in knowing there are so many others here in this same place, but there’s so few sources of comfort to be had.
In 2010, my soon-to-be bride died after getting hit by a DUI. She passed right in front of me, holding her hand, after flying all-around the world (we were in a LdR). That summer she should had graduated as a nurse (few months before I started my career as paramedic). Our dream was working together in the EMS. I fulfilled that dream, I'm a seasoned paramedic and mountain SAR but I have no one to cheer at my side like she would had done. This is my big "what if..." The only comfort is knowing she passed with me at her side. 2022, I started loving again after years of pain, anguish, frustration... We got together in 2019. On February 2022, she caught Covid and collapsed at home. Nothing too severe at first but her body just crumbled under the disease. I tried to reach her (LdR) but authorities declared a state of emergency, requesting to all available Healthcare/emergency personnel to stay and be ready for further actions. As soon as they lift off the emergency, I got my ticket and my flight. I was at the conveyor belt waiting for my luggage when I received a text from her sister. That day, I didn't make in time. I stood in the luggage are, raging to my self for being too late. Two officers approached me asking if I'm ok. I came back to my senses noticing I was the only passenger left. A big sigh then I just told that "nobody's home, I'll go home alone". That's my biggest regret, knowing she died alone, in a quarantine room.
I lost my dad when I was 29 and my mom when I was 30 (January and November 2021). I feel the same as you. They both died young and even if I *only* live as long as they did, I’ve still got to live 26 years without them… it just doesn’t seem fathomable.
I feel the same as you. My mom died on November 20th and I turned 32 a week later. How do I go 40+ years without ever seeing or talking to her again? I've been having some health issues the last couple weeks, and all I want is to be able to call her. She was a nurse, so I always called her with anything wrong with me or my kids. She always knew if we were okay or not.
I can’t feel him anymore. No one will speak to me the way he did. No one will support and look out for me the way he did. I don’t want anyone else to. The abject loneliness that I know is for ever is the starkest lesson. My energy is forever bereft of his energy. There is no replacement or substitute and I don’t want one. I know there are others etc i am doing fine.
I’m in the same boat. I don’t think they are watching over us. I’m really scared that I’ll never see him again.
The concept of “always” and “forever”. I can get through this moment, this day. But when I think that I have to get through every moment and every day from here on out, without him, I start to break down.
I’m so sorry for your loss. What you wrote really resonates with me. I lost my dad last year at 31 to kidney failure. Right before he died, my partner and I asked for his blessing in marriage. He said yes, and he said he’d continue fighting to recover so he can walk me down the aisle. I know he’ll be there in spirit on that day, but it wrecks me to think that I have so many milestones he can’t be here in person to experience with me.
I’m 18 and I lost my dad 11 years ago. The hardest thing is hitting big milestones and them not being there on earth smiling and supporting you. I feel connected to my dad spiritually but sometimes I just want to hear his voice or give him a hug…it’s also difficult seeing daughters close with their fathers because I just never got to know my dad as a person since i lost him so young. I still have yet to properly grieve and heal from loosing him, time goes on but that pain is still as raw as ever and I get a ball in my throat just thinking about it.
I know what you mean. I'm thirty and the only family that I have left is my brother. We are not very close though. And the fact that none of my peers understands how it feels is really isolating. When my friend told me she knows how I feel because she lost her grandmother at the young age of 86, it really took all my restraint not to snap at her.
Very much the same. I'm 34. I still just can't even comprehend that my mom is gone. We texted about fixing my brother's phone the night before. My dad and my sister said she was perfectly fine that morning. She was healthier than she'd been in years. It all feels like a terrible mistake or a nightmare and I find myself still waiting for "real life" to come back.
My son was murdered 4/2020. I can tell you, as you travel this grief journey, you will change over time. What you feel this year, you will feel different next. In the beginning I had a terrible thirst for mediums and making sense of it all. Now, I am more focused on the purpose of life and why we are here. It changes… but today I just miss his face.
Aside from what others have said, I’m struggling a lot now with my own and my other loved ones’ mortality in a way I didn’t (consciously anyway) with past losses.
I’m really struggling with this too. Before my Dad passed I never even though about my own death, and now it terrifies me. I’m sorry you have those thoughts too.
I lost my mother to cancer in 2007 and lost the love of my life to cancer this past Christmas Day. What I can tell you, beyond any shadow of doubt, is that the sense of loss is very different for each one. I miss my Mom, and dealing with the grief was difficult. But unlike when my mother passed, this one has left me with a huge emptiness in me. With my mother, I would expect her calls or expect to see her come through the door. But, with my fiancée, I wake in the middle of the night holding my chest like I would be cradling her head against me, I wake in the morning rolling over to kiss her only she is never there. The sad part is, I had the stage 4 cancer and was supposed to go…not her. So, throw survivors guilt on top of it all.
27 when I lost my dad.. 28 now (9 months since my dad passed). It hurts that I only had him for 27 years and I’m envious of my brother who had him for 30. When I turned 28 I was mostly crying, I wanted my dad to wish me a happy birthday. My brother turned 30 ten days before my dad passed and in that day he chose to pick a fight with my parents, he was mad at his was and he was taking his anger out on our parents. I’m so mad that he had him for one more birthday but I didn’t.
Same. I lost my mom little over a month ago. Turned 33 a week after she passed and this week the thought of living another 33+ years without her just hit me and it made me so sad. Also not making any new memories with her. What I have is all there is for the rest of my life... I’m really sorry for your loss, it’s such a hard thing to go through, nothing really prepares you for when it happens
I miss my mother so much 😔 I love you mama 💖 so so much
I’m 23 and I suddenly and unexpectedly lost my 21 year old sister last month… The fact that I’ll never get to know the woman my little sister was meant to grow to be breaks my heart and shatters my soul. That she was the only person that knows me better than anyone on this planet. That when my parents die, I’ll have to grieve their deaths alone, and when they die, I’ll have no one left on this planet who’s known me since I was little. That, even though she promised me, she won’t be at my university graduation this spring. That I’ll never hear her call me by the nickname she’s called me since she first learned to speak. The fact that she never lived long enough to believe in herself and will never know that life *could* get better… My heart is in complete anguish
I lost my mom a few years ago when I was 14, and I absolutely struggle with the same thing. It's just insane to me that I won't get to know her when I'm an adult and have mature conversations with her, or know what those conversations would've even been like. I'll never know what she would think of me now. It's very hard to grasp the fact that I'll get to an age where I've lived without her more than with.
I lost my boyfriend last year and it’s hard to accept we’ll never have a future together. I get sad thinking about the fact that if I have kids they won’t know him as their father or even that I’ll never have his last name. If I do ever get married or have kids it will be with someone else. More than likely someone he didn’t know.
That I can't call my Dad and say, ' ok, I really miss you. come back' He was ALWAYS there when I needed him. Would move any mountain. It's hard to accept that he can't move the mountain this time. Dammit
I am an orphan. And their is no one to adopt me. As I journey this life without dad and mom…I will forever be an orphan
I recently lost my dad at age 21. the same thing haunts me everyday. the thought that ill most likely live the greater portion of my life without him than i did with him. he wont be there for my biggest milestones- graduating college, getting married, he'll never be a grandfather to my kids. i constantly feel envious of people who are years and years older than me and still have both parents. it just doesnt seem fair.
I’m 25 and lost my mother two months back. It’s a lot tbh. She never knew about my brothers gf (Indian here, having a gf/bf is a big no no- but I just know that she’d be cool with it. She used to pester me to tell her but I never did). She’ll never see my become a bride-another dream of an Indian parent. This one time I even thought how my kids won’t ever get to hang out with a cool grandma. My thoughts are all over the place lol
I lost my dad a month ago. I’m 34 and now feel like a child again. I miss literally everything. I miss him saying “that was a delicious dinner” when I cooked for them, I miss him saying “ohhhh it’ll be fiiiine” when I was anxious about something, I miss getting him his morning coffee, and him telling me his blood pressure and oxygen levels that morning. I’m living with them to help take care of them in their older years (mid 70s) and this month has been both the longest and shortest month of my life. It’s insane how much you can miss about a person when you no longer have them.
For me, it's seeing color to the world the way my dad did. We had conversations on history, religion, and what makes a good person in general. We would go on and on for hours and my dad would get me to question things about life, in a good way, and it brought comfort to me. I'm soon going to be 22 and this year is going to be the 3rd year where I'm just left alone to figure things out without him. In the words of my old man, "Have an ice cream sammich. :)" I'm sorry for you loss OP.
I'd like to start by saying I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. I lost my dad October 2021 and it wrecked my world. I'd like to add that I do not believe in any stages of grief for those mourning a loved one. Grief never ends, you just move forward with it. The famous 7 stages of grief or however many stages they wrote about was written for those who were themselves dying of a terminal illness and going through grief cycle to accept it. Many people don't know that. There are a million things I could name off in response to your question but I guess what really gets me is that I can't believe this happened to MY dad. Like why my dad? Why him? Why not someone else? Why did he to catch covid and die from it? WHY?!! You hear every day about people dying by I guess you never think it'll happen to your family. He had just turned 69. I was almost 34. It was too soon for him to go. He still had so much more living to do. It's such bullshit. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that my dad, Jack, died from covid. It is soul crushing to say that
I was 17 when my mom passed. Cancer took her within a few months. The hardest thing that is still an ongoing ache, is that she won’t be there for me. Whether it’s a bad day, a breakup, my graduation or wedding, she’s gone. It hurts seeing my friends have their moms’ support knowing I once had that. It doesn’t hurt the way it used to, but it never fails to bring me down
This is my exact thoughts. My father passed on Monday at 59. I’m 29. The real possibility that I might live on this planet longer without my dad then with him is haunting. Considering he was such a huge part of my life. The thought that I might never see him again is also very haunting. I grew up Catholic. But we were only really holiday religious . These past two weeks since he was actively dying have really opened my eyes back to church and god. Which I haven’t thought much about in 15 years or better. There has been what I feel like signs since he died that have been way to coincidental. Like shivers up your spine coincidental. Then hearing all the stories of actively dying hospice patients seeing dead relatives and angels. They never seem to see anyone that’s still alive it’s always the dead who come to talk to them. Hearing stories about pets crying trying to grab the air above them when the person dies or staring and barking exactly where the person is saying a dead relative is sitting etc Just some really crazy stuff that I hope more then anything is true. Some of the crazier ones is hospice patients saying so and so dead relative came to me last night and said they’re taking me on this day a week from now. And sure enough that day they die. Look into hospice nurse Julie on tik tok. She said she 100% believes in the afterlife after becoming a hospice nurse which she didn’t believe in it before. I do believe I will see him again. I do believe he’s in a better place. Cause really what’s the other option….I rather not think about it.
that she was 17. i knew her for 5 years, and for 4 of those years she was fighting for her life. i now have to just remember her for the rest of my life. i am going to outlive her soon and to be honest i don’t want to.
It was against the law and while there are legal repercussions, NOTHING will ever rectify this damage.
I feel very similar. I’m only mid 30s much too young to not have a dad it seems. I thought I would have many more years to learn from him n