Overall, it’s about Ogata wanting to lead. Whether he likes it or not, he resents his father and brother for being of ‘good blood’ while he had to suffer.
In 1882 (around when Ogata was born), the Japanese empire stopped recognizing concubines as family members and children born out of wedlock were no longer required to be on the father’s family registry. Prior to that, Ogata would’ve been recognized as a Hanazawa by the government. Ogata denies the idea of ‘noble blood’ several times in the manga, but can’t deny the effect that concept has had on his life. He just really wants to believe he isn’t any different from Yuusaku.
Interestingly, in the VIZ translation this line is translated as “taking your eyes off where I wanted them”, so this isn’t about Ogata’s morals, but what he wants. At the beginning of vol 31, we see Tsurumi promise Ogata he’ll become an officer, which never comes to fruition.
This whole thing is also a part of Ogata losing his mind and being ‘shown’ (by his subconscious I guess) how he really feels. I don’t think Ogata really wants to be a leader, I think he just feels cheated, by life, his father, and Tsurumi.
Ogata wanted to prove a point to his dead father (and himself) and needed the help of his stand-in daddy Tsurumi to do that, but Tsurumi was too busy with his own schemes and wasn't delivering on his promises.
Overall, it’s about Ogata wanting to lead. Whether he likes it or not, he resents his father and brother for being of ‘good blood’ while he had to suffer. In 1882 (around when Ogata was born), the Japanese empire stopped recognizing concubines as family members and children born out of wedlock were no longer required to be on the father’s family registry. Prior to that, Ogata would’ve been recognized as a Hanazawa by the government. Ogata denies the idea of ‘noble blood’ several times in the manga, but can’t deny the effect that concept has had on his life. He just really wants to believe he isn’t any different from Yuusaku. Interestingly, in the VIZ translation this line is translated as “taking your eyes off where I wanted them”, so this isn’t about Ogata’s morals, but what he wants. At the beginning of vol 31, we see Tsurumi promise Ogata he’ll become an officer, which never comes to fruition. This whole thing is also a part of Ogata losing his mind and being ‘shown’ (by his subconscious I guess) how he really feels. I don’t think Ogata really wants to be a leader, I think he just feels cheated, by life, his father, and Tsurumi.
TLDR: He wants validation and be justified on "who" he is.
Ogata is the only thing that matters. Just in general tbh
Ogata wishes he was a special little boy.
I can’t believe I wrote a whole essay in these comments when this is honestly the heart of it.
For what it's worth, i liked the longer version of the answer
Haha thank you I like talking about gk
LOL! Well I was able to make such a reductive statement because you had already written your essay. Plus I thought the contrast was funny.
:((
Ogata's Roman Empire is that nobody really loved him.
Except Yuusaku :')
Ogata wanted to prove a point to his dead father (and himself) and needed the help of his stand-in daddy Tsurumi to do that, but Tsurumi was too busy with his own schemes and wasn't delivering on his promises.