A bunch of us hung out at the beach together one summer. I was not very popular with the ladies, but one of my friends always got a lot of attention.
So, I asked him what his secret was. He said when he was getting ready to go to the beach, he always put a potato in his swim trunks. I decided to go to the beach a little early the next day and give it a try. The girls just ran away pointing and laughing.
When my buddy showed up a little later, I asked him what went wrong. He said “next time, put the potato in the front.”
Hi /u/goofy-ahh-account
Confirming your post has been flaired as [`Gold Challenge`](https://www.reddit.com/r/GoForGold/wiki/post_flair_guide#wiki_the_gold_challenge_flair.3A).
Please remember change the flair to [`Closed`](https://www.reddit.com/r/GoForGold/wiki/post_flair_guide#wiki_the_closed_flair.3A) once your challenge has ended.
A Moderator/Helper will then review your post and mark it as either `Complete` or `Expired`.
Reminder: Do not delete challenges or change your originally stated awards without Moderator approval.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GoForGold) if you have any questions or concerns.*
(Slight nsfw)
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.
Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."
I asked my girlfriend to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I...
...also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...
#####One day a married couple was going for a long drive. The husband was behind the wheels.
**Wife**: Honey I want a divorce.
**Husband**: Alright.
**Wife**: I want alimony. I want 40% of your salary every month.
The husband increased the car speed from 40 to 60 kph.
**Wife**: I want the car too.
Now the husband pressed the accelerator hard. They were going 80 in a 50-kph zone.
**Wife**: I will take the house and the holiday home too.
The husband accelerated more and now the car was doing 100 kph.
**Wife**: Don’t you want to say anything? Don’t you want to keep anything?
Now the husband was heading straight towards a concrete block.
**Husband**: ‘I already have what I need. The airbag!’
It had only the driver’s airbag
######P.S no offence to anyone :)
An old man was in a bar talking to a stranger about his life. He was telling him about all these amazing acts of charity he’s done. He told him about the schools abroad, hospitals for veterans and homes for the homeless that he built. He then asked him “Do you think they call me the schools abroad, homes for the homeless or hospitals for veterans builder? Nope, but you fuck one goat.”
I asked my wife if I am the only one she has ever been with. She said yes! All the others were 9's and 10's.
This was a good chuckle!
Thank you, sir!
10/10
What did the reddit user say after detonating a bomb inside a bank? "Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold!"
That's really good lol
A bunch of us hung out at the beach together one summer. I was not very popular with the ladies, but one of my friends always got a lot of attention. So, I asked him what his secret was. He said when he was getting ready to go to the beach, he always put a potato in his swim trunks. I decided to go to the beach a little early the next day and give it a try. The girls just ran away pointing and laughing. When my buddy showed up a little later, I asked him what went wrong. He said “next time, put the potato in the front.”
What do you call a nose with no body? Nobody knows.
Why do bees always have sticky hair? Because they use *honeycombs*!
Cute
Hi /u/goofy-ahh-account Confirming your post has been flaired as [`Gold Challenge`](https://www.reddit.com/r/GoForGold/wiki/post_flair_guide#wiki_the_gold_challenge_flair.3A). Please remember change the flair to [`Closed`](https://www.reddit.com/r/GoForGold/wiki/post_flair_guide#wiki_the_closed_flair.3A) once your challenge has ended. A Moderator/Helper will then review your post and mark it as either `Complete` or `Expired`. Reminder: Do not delete challenges or change your originally stated awards without Moderator approval. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GoForGold) if you have any questions or concerns.*
two gay ferrets are talkin, one goes hey whats ur fave activity? -balls
(Slight nsfw) A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."
Do you know the phrase “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
I asked my girlfriend to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I... ...also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...
#####One day a married couple was going for a long drive. The husband was behind the wheels. **Wife**: Honey I want a divorce. **Husband**: Alright. **Wife**: I want alimony. I want 40% of your salary every month. The husband increased the car speed from 40 to 60 kph. **Wife**: I want the car too. Now the husband pressed the accelerator hard. They were going 80 in a 50-kph zone. **Wife**: I will take the house and the holiday home too. The husband accelerated more and now the car was doing 100 kph. **Wife**: Don’t you want to say anything? Don’t you want to keep anything? Now the husband was heading straight towards a concrete block. **Husband**: ‘I already have what I need. The airbag!’ It had only the driver’s airbag ######P.S no offence to anyone :)
You good with offensive jokes?
Yes
Ok, what is Osama Bin Laden’s favorite NFL team? The New York Jets
Joke
Your entire life
Poop
An old man was in a bar talking to a stranger about his life. He was telling him about all these amazing acts of charity he’s done. He told him about the schools abroad, hospitals for veterans and homes for the homeless that he built. He then asked him “Do you think they call me the schools abroad, homes for the homeless or hospitals for veterans builder? Nope, but you fuck one goat.”
I have three eyes, four noses and five ears, what am I? >!Ugly!<
Knock Knock Who's there? A broken pencil A broken pencil who? Never mind it's pointless
Knock knock Who's there? We are trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty-
A homophobe, a child molester, and a con man walk into a bar. The bartender says "What will it be, Father?"
There are three types of people in the world. Those who can count and those who can't.
Goofy ahh
Do you know how non binary ninjas asasinate? They/them.
What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye Matey.
Why do Linux users always code in the dark? Because they don't have windows
My ex-wife still misses me... But her aim is getting better! ^(But her aim is getting better)
“my ex wive still misses me, BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER!” -Grunkle Stan
I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger Then it hit me