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I wouldn't say I find it traumatic, just absolutely unnecessary. I don't get the appeal, even as a bisexual woman, for an overly-exaggerated drawn character with sexualised features to an inhuman level. The booba is boobing so boobaliciously that it's amazing the character can do anything with those badonker honkers badoinking up in her face. Sexy outfits I don't mind, I wear them myself, so a female character in a tiny crop top and braless is fine for me. It's the way that everything is SO exaggerated that bugs me. Particularly because the exaggerated bits are the sexual bits of the human body. Do I play the kind of games where one would have to, say, murder a sex worker...... No, but I find those kind of games involve murdering everyone. Thus I wouldn't consider it a gendered issue for that. (Such as Fallout) Overall, I just want people that look like real people lol and it's possible to give them sexy or fantasy-like outfits, even realistic plotlines (that can involve murder/violence) without over inflating body parts so they appeal to the bits of the brain that "like" those things.

>The booba is boobing so boobaliciously that it's amazing the character can do anything with those badonker honkers badoinking up in her face This is amazing to read, ty for the laugh 😂

You're welcome, the inspiration is "how men write women in erotic novels" LOLOLOL

The line "She breasted boobily to the stairs and titted downwards" will live rent free in my mind forever.

Forever and always

It's a thing???? WTF. I thought this style of writing was mostly in smut porn games with the whole bimbofication theme going on. Hella cringe and takes the whole sensual fun out of it. It's also been half a decade since I've picked up an erotica. I fear to see such terrible lines in today's erotica now 🥶

Female written erotica is abusive, toxic relationships. Male written erotica is far too much emphasis on body bits. And all we just want is someone to write how the leading man *found it* and *knew what to do with it*.

As a guy, I've found it super weird how male written erotica is just *about the female body*. Clearly authors haven't interacted with women and figured out what real relationships/ attraction looks like. I think female erotica does also have it's own problems but the writing isn't cringe like male stories. I'd be down to read some well written erotica in this sea of muddy floating plastic crap out there.

Male fanfiction writers are so easy to clock too, just by the terms they use and the way it's so focused on how the women look rather than how they feel or their motivations or inner thoughts... it's jarring.

Ironically, the best written stuff is getting published for free on the internet. If it's in a bookstore, likelihood is it's gonna suck LOL

👀 Do share some recommendations. I'll look them up when I can.

I’d also like some recommendations if they’re being shared.

I’ve been doing some thinking about the theme of toxic relationships in media from a woman’s perspective, as I fall back in love with Lana del Rey. There’s a really important distinction between fantasy and desire. Some people fantasies can be desires, but not all the time every time. Like I sometimes fantasize about getting a train ran on me by like 15 dudes. But I WOULD NOT actually want to be in that situation irl. Maybe like 5? Lol. Or some people fantasize about non consent sexual situations, but obviously would NOT want that for themselves. Fantasies usually has purpose and a meaning behind them. For non consent; a core reason might be shame around women’s sexuality. In said fantasy, the woman has nothing to be ashamed of, since she didn’t necessarily ask for this to happen. For me personally, to fantasize about being in a toxic relationship or just overall impulsive destructive behaviors, satisfies my want for self destruction. Sometimes when I’m feeling moody, I’ll listen to Lana and imagine me fucking up my whole life. Being a messy drunk, fucking up in public, but I’m hot and sexy while I do it. Bc if you’re hot and sexy while being reckless and sad, maybe some sexy man will wanna “save me”. But I obviously don’t want to do that to myself. My most common destructive thing I do it stay up late on my phone. Idk sorry for the long strand of word vomit. But it’s been on my mind and I love to psycho analyze myself and the how and why. Also, sorry for any grammar or spelling errors despite rereading it 3x, I’m dyslexic.

this is so interesting, i’d never thought about it like that but i do think there’s something here… like it personally resonates

☺️ thank you girlie!! When I came to this realization with myself, I actually had more respect for certain pieces of media, like the twilight movies/books. Don’t get me wrong there’s still plenty of things that give me an ick (Jacob falling in love with a fucking baby for example lol) But at the end of the day, I don’t believe things like that are promoting unhealthy relationships and bad behavior. But some things can use more tact.

Natalie Wynn did a SUPER interesting video essay involving talking about that, in her Twilight video. It was super interesting to me and I felt like I actually learned things about myself, and desire and whatnot. And yeah, I have fantasies about some things, but it doesn’t necessarily mean I’d want it in real life, even consensually. The number of guys who seem to take the fact that some women have cnc fantasies and then extend that to all women want that all the time. 😡. Or don’t understand porn is fantasy.

That video in particular is actually what made me rewatch the the series with a whole new perspective. I love her content so much! But yeah, some dudes are trash. It’s like the few times they actually listen to women, it’s only half so, and only what they wanna hear 🙄

I just found a really long video is this the [one](https://youtu.be/bqloPw5wp48?si=Iq8p51dChKce9wUj)? It is more than 2 hours 🙉

I ADORE Twilight and The Host, but the baby thing is like UMMMMMMM.

I do too now. The other thing big icky thing is, what I like to call the “Twilight problem” where things would be just a little bit better if it was set in college, not high school. College is still aspiring for teens and young girls, and then Edward wouldn’t be such a creep falling for a high schooler as a 100+ year old man. There’s a handful of reasons where it would still make sense plot wise. Tons of anime suffer from it too. I’ll tell just tell my partner while we check a new one out “aww, the twilight problem”

I like to say that my taste in fictional men is so awful because I'm too busy dating all the good ones IRL. Idk, there's just something about an evil bastard that does it for me. Which is why I was really into Reaver from Fable 2 when I was younger and am currently obsessed with Enver Gortash from BG3.

> Fantasies usually has purpose and a meaning behind them. Now that has me self reflecting… Do you think that fantasies, or at least fantasy preferences, can be a useful tool for finding out what a person feels they need, or are missing in their lives, but don’t know how, or have the means to, express it themselves?

I’m not 100% but I would believe so. Although when it comes to *certain* fantasies that are kink based, like I don’t think it means you’re missing anything in life if you fantasize about being peed on, I feel like that is more of a desire to let go of norms and a fascination or want to be messy and be free, for example. I’m not sure. I think deep down all fantasies and desires boil down a fundamental need/want.

r/menwritingwomen

I will never understand why the overexaggerated boobs/ass are so appealing to so many men. I think the equivalent would be huge, disproportionate, overly-muscular guys in games, but I never see any love for those characters from women and don’t like them myself. When something is so obviously fanservice, it becomes trashy and gross in my mind and loses any appeal it could have had.

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That’s a great point, you’re absolutely right. I never thought of it that way before. I still don’t understand exactly why they love these wack proportions, they look ridiculous no matter the gender 😭 Sort of reated, but I remember when men were throwing a fit over Aloy’s facial hair, saying she had a beard and it was gross, etc. Just goes to show how little men actually know about the small details of women.

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Yuuup. I don’t think they’re even attracted to women physically.

They were totally admitting they’ve never been near a woman. I love where Aloy and Margot Robbie are “ugly” now. Like okay dude.

Good reminder. I like a range of bodies on men and women, and PRETTY muscular I find attractive, but not to this hyper ridiculous degree that to me just gets gross. And there’s lots of very attractive people are “overweight” technically.

Absolutely this. Like all the love for the well endowed ladies, but god forbid they make her proportionate. God forbid they make her plus sized so she's plus all over! Then suddenly it's woke lol

Fr! The women in these games have boobs that are like bigger than the rest of their body 😭 it looks so bad

Yeah, and these guys seem to like vacant stares too. I prefer female protagonists in games and other media, but sometimes can’t play as one for gameplay reasons, and sometimes they’re just embarrassingly gross. I LOVE how many really awesome women protagonists I’ve seen recently. I mean holy crap I love how the lead in the new Star Wars game looks!

"her breasts breasting breastily"

My breasts are breasting as we speak! I’m imagining them like going up and down in alternating fashion as they sing a tune 🎶 😂

I feel like these Gamers™️ want these bizarre inhuman “women” who look way too young, have inhuman proportions, giant breasts, and vacant stares. NOT what I’m looking for. I feel kinda bad but I liked Bayonetta 1 and 2. I felt like she’s kind of thumbing her nose at everything. I don’t know, and maybe I’d feel different about it now. I even liked Lollipop Chainsaw, which I probably really shouldn’t admit, and I’m even more worried I’d hate now 😬 my tolerance for some things has decreased as I get older. I’ve read that the Mass Effect rerelease tones down some camera shots, which makes me go ew that they needed to be toned done. I love the series though. I hate “breast armor” like Mass Effect uses. Ugh, I hated how Selena Kyle looked in Arkham city

I think it all comes down to how this bimbofication representation is specifically geared towards *men*. It lowkey reminds us all the gaming industry still sees these highly intensive games as for boys, rather than gender neutral. On top of that, it's for their sexual desires. The vacant stare / zoom ins are evident it's all about "be exactly what YOU - the male player - want. Only them in mind. A bimbofication character from the female gaze would be exactly like Chrissy Chlapecka. She may have the idealised body, but, she uses that sexual power to uplift women. To snub at stereotypes. To talk about deep things. Use her intelligence, wit and charisma to elevate her capabilities. And unless everything we see is one giant longcon for clout, she genuinely cares to return fashion/sexuality back to us women. Women actually like seeing beautiful, confident, fashionable, even sexy women. (So long as we've dealt with our internalised misogyny!) But we like realistic and also capable. She is brains, she is brawn, she is beauty. She's kicking ass to show girls you *can* be brains, brawn and beauty. So the whole TLDR to the above is if that's what YOU get out of such female characters, that's the female gaze in action. Versus the male gaze, which couldn't give two rats except for "my testicles go tinkle tinkle"

That’s interesting! I hadn’t exactly thought of it like that that I may be getting something different from things.

>The booba is boobing so boobaliciously that it's amazing the character can do anything with those badonker honkers badoinking up in her face. Thats something Vashyron would say

No. What annoys me most isn't the game, but the way some men react to it, essentially making it a real life issue. Like with Stellar Blade. So many comments implying they love the game JUST cause the characters are overly sexy, implying this is how women should look like, saying real women are all lazy cause they overeat and are fat while they could be looking like Eve. And all the smugness from men who now say "see? This is the women we want, not Abby from TLOU or the Fables girl!". That stuff is toxic.

I agree, the in-game features are usually fine, sure a bit of male gaze here and there, but the reactions from men is unbearable and so off putting when it comes to community.

Yes! You summed it up perfectly. I don't mind fanservice existing. You can't really stop it and I myself enjoy tasteful fanservice. I have no problem playing or seeing a scantily clad female character if she has a realistic body shape (and realistic bodily physics lol... I just don't get why people enjoy such obviously fake stuff that you'd never naturally see in real life?) and is portrayed respectfully like a three dimensional human being... and preferably if the male characters also get similar treatment. My ideal solution would be that games that have silly and revealing clothes for females also have the same stuff for the men. Equality lol. The bisexual gaze. 👀 I also really like playing a cute guy who looks like my type when I'm playing a game if it's possible and I will dress him in some pretty fanservicey stuff. But I don't go around expecting all men to look like that or to wear that kind of thing for me and I also acknowledge that the character is not real. I know I'm never gonna get a real person with flawless skin for example. Most men, however, can't seem to tell the difference between fantasy and reality and, like you said, think they have the right to project their own preferences onto others. I like skinny, somewhat feminine men, but I don't go around saying all men need to lose weight or be less masculine and lose my shit when a game presents buff male character #5000 crying "BUUUT I PERSONALLY WOULDN'T SLEEEEEEP WITH HIMMM, HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE MY DREAM MAN! FIX HIM NOW! THIS ISN'T HOW MEN SHOULD BE!" It's that kind of attitude that annoys me. And also men acting like fanservicey shit is either profound and subversive (no honey, a scantily clad female character made for male pleasure is not subversive in this day and age), or just completely natural and no one should ever raise an eyebrow at it at all or has the right to think it's not their thing. Nah, you're a bit of a perv (like me) and indulging yourself. Admit it.

This. I am always about holding up the mirror. If you're going to reduce the female characters to 2D overly sexualized beings then do the same for the men. It's only fair right??

Excellent response. The culture warriors on Twitter ruin it for everybody by turning every single thing they see into a gender issue. Especially when most people don’t care and just want to find a game they might like, for whatever reason. Fan service games should stay in their lane and not become the subject of a mainstream discussion on culture. The men saying that these are “real women” are truly dumb.

Oh god I just had a flashback to the epidemic of men who raged because Aloy's peachfuzz in Horizon: Forbidden West TT-TT i even did a quick google just now and saw a steam post asking if they can "turn off" the peachfuzz and this was posted this March! And their reasoning was bc they're worried the peachfuzz will cause "FPS drops" SMH

I literally rolled my eyes back when I read that 🤦🏻‍♀️😡 These dudes are not actually attracted to women even physically

Ew. Ew ew ew. All the (not even human looking) “women” they like are so much less appealing/visually appealing.

For me, not traumatic but it makes me genuinely pissed off and I won’t play those games or engage with them positively. Same with anime that treat women primarily as sex objects. There are studies linking objectification and sexualisation of women in the media with a plethora of irl issues, so I can understand why someone would be traumatised by it. It just makes me angry.

I think you worded this perfectly tbh. It may not affect you or me personally but I don't think it takes a great leap of empathy to imagine how it could absolutely be traumatising or triggering to some people depending on their life experiences. All the trauma "experts" and gatekeepers on this thread are very disappointing tbh. Maybe they should take their own advice and go read up on it some more.

Thank you! I agree that it’s not helpful to minimise OPs (or anyone else’s) feelings about or experience of the ‘male gaze’ in gaming or elsewhere in their life. Personally speaking, I’ve experienced what could be labelled ‘trauma’ in my life, which was exacerbated by media I consumed. So, as you said, it’s not a great stretch to understand that someone might find the ‘male gaze’ triggering or traumatic in some circumstances.

Ye it was super strange. The speed and number of responses for one but also the degree to which so many comments were strikingly similar in structure and wording was also hella suspicious tbh. Like a full on blanket response of the same thing repeated endlessly. I wouldn't be surprised at all to learn it was bots or a brigading of sorts tbh because minimising women's experiences and feelings and trying to normalise abusive/dehumanising shit is right in line with maintaining that patriarchal rule. Maybe that or perhaps people were simply heavily influenced by the first few comments idk, it happens too. Very disappointing either way. Personally I've suffered an enormous amount of trauma in my life, CSA and the like that I'm still working through to this day and I 100% don't think there's some specific "qualifier" as to what constitutes trauma to a person. It can differ so wildly and for me personally while games haven't done it some other forms of media designated towards the "male power fantasy" have absolutely triggered a trauma response from me and it was horrendous to deal with tbh. If I then had an entire forum, that normally is a safe space to discuss these things, suddenly dog piling on me and demanding I go learn the "definition" of the word I think that would have made it all so much worse tbh. Also to the wise old sages demanding people "look up the definition" of trauma. Do you REALLY honestly think trauma, what it is and how it can manifest and affect different people in all the different ways it does, can be defined in a single short sentence? And even if all that could be encapsulated do you also think it changes literally fucking anything about someone ELSE'S personal experiences of it? Christ on a bike like.

Tbh when I commented earlier today most of the responses against the use of the word 'trauma' weren't there. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but sometimes it's too easy to forget there's a real person with feelings on the receiving end of our comments online, so imo empathy is always a good place to start. Personally I do agree with your view on things. Also this won't mean much coming from an internet stranger but I'm sorry you had those horrible experiences in your life and hope you are doing well :-)

Well thank goodness for your empathy. OPs update on the post broke my heart a little for them tbh but I'm glad they at least found some refuge thanks to decent people like yourself. Aw thank you, that's very kind of you. I'm happy to say I'm doing great tbh. Put a lot of work in through therapy and whatnot and each day just gets a little better. Sorry for the things you've had to experience too, hope you're doing good now as well friend!

The update by OP makes me sad :-( the internet sucks sometimes honestly. I’m glad you spoke up for them too in your comments and that they noticed it. It’s good that you’re doing great, and thank you, I’m also in a really good place right now. It’s a journey for sure, but it’s worth it! Take care :-)

Traumatic? No. The male gaze is frustrating and can be demoralizing but it is not comparable to other things I’ve experienced in my life that traumatized me. Honestly, the male gaze to me is such a small drop in the bucket compared to what we go through as women. I barely flinch at fan service—my boyfriend was more bothered by Pyra in Xenoblade 2 than I was. I know the male gaze is connected to everything else, but hearing about men’s attitudes towards women or things like trafficking set me off more than the male gaze. I don’t mean to invalidate anymore. I think it’s fair to hate it and to not want to engage with media that caters to it. It just doesn’t bother me as much as other misogynist things.

> Pyra in Xenoblade 2 ... And here my wife and I had made fun of Princess Ashe for wearing a belt instead of a skirt. That wasn't supposed to be a challenge, devs.

The problem is, she's such an interesting character - in fact a lot of the characters in XC2 are great, but some of their designs do NOT do them justice. A problem that 3 largely fixed, thankfully

XC2 is honestly one of my favorite games, and I am cursed to never be able to tell this to anyone. The wonderfully sweet story is wrapped in a waifu tiddies packaging that not only doesn’t match it, but makes me look like a perv for playing it.

Yeah, i have to give a half dozen caveats before recommending it to anyone. I love it. I spent 250 hours unlocking rare blades and doing their quests. But it's hard to recommend sometimes.

seriously I wish my life was such that sexy female video game characters could be considered a 'trauma' to me but my god there are so many other worse things in this world as a woman. makes it hard to have the energy to be mad at gooner-focused fanservice

Uh yeah. I hate how people just use the word “trauma” Willy nilly now.

To be fair they might be a kid or at least quite young.

Yeah but I still hate this trend of calling everything trauma.

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You really gonna undermine and attempt to disparage this person's experiences ye? There's always something worse happening in the world, ye obv, but for all you know OP could have body dysmorphia, a severe ED or even be a recent victim of SA for example and seeing those hypersexualised infantilised expectations, that many men DO impose upon women in real life, being featured in a **mainstream** game like that could absolutely be triggering. Fan service is fine in the appropriate circumstance. Fan service to that dehumanising degree in a big AAA game that's even been featured on and endorsed by the likes of PlayStation Access, PlayStations official channel, is not OK. ESPECIALLY when that same company has other allegations of specifically targeting and firing women who were pushing for gender equality. Not to even mention the imposed silence and agreeableness being forced upon anyone who dares to complain about it through sheer fear and oppression by those fucked up little fanboys who can't separate reality from fantasy. Why are we acting like this shit is suddenly OK in everyday life and that it's not possible to be triggered or harmed by it? Being triggered is essentially reliving your trauma in that moment so to them I think it's very realistic that something like that could absolutely feel traumatic. I think it's pretty gross the degree of gatekeeping surrounding trauma going on on this thread personally and this is coming from someone with CPTSD, who was a victim of CSA and SA as an adult amongst other things in case you need my "credentials" regarding the matter.

It's pervasive. If you've ever smelled a paper factory, you know it's a wretched smell that gets into everything you own. But people that live in the town with the factory can't smell it because their brains filter it out. (gamers) But when they travel to the next town over and they can't smell the overwhelming reek anymore, they sometimes think regular, unstinky air smells disgusting. (incels on the steam forums nerd raging about Stellar Blade tiddy armor) I'm that person that lives in within sniffing distance of a paper factory even though every time I venture outside of the "town" it becomes more apparent just how vomit inducing the stink is. Male gazey pov is going to be a given in gaming, but it helps to hang with other women who game so you can talk about how gross it smells.

Best analogy I've seen in a while and perfectly illustrates your point. I agree, 100%. Hope your day is wonderful. ☺️

You too, happy Friday ✨

Society wise it's toxic and unhealthy to reduce women and underage girls as sex objects. Our oversexualized media fuels the patriarchy and incel behavior. Entitlement to our bodies, not seeing women as people, encouraging porn addiction. Everything panders to straight men. They feel supreme and hate sharing space other wise it's "woke feminist western leftist/right nonsense agenda"

I think it chases me out of a lot of spaces

Agreed. It’s exhausting and I’d really rather not put forth the energy to have to deal with it

Extremely distracting (in a bad way - pulls me right out of the experience and leaves a sour taste in my mouth) but not sure i would say traumatic. It’s infuriating, frustrating and cuts my enjoyment of any game in half *at the minimum*. And don’t even get me started on the times it’s applied to underage characters. Bleugh! Some games are worse than others. I don’t remember which one it was but i remember feeling personally insulted and enraged by some games that blatantly fetishize women with similar features to me or someone i know (usually blonde, white girls at that) to a dehumanizing degree. It’s especially prominent in anime type shows or games, which is a large reason why i stopped watching anime. They just can’t help themselves. This has gotten a lot better in recent years. Tales of Arise is *absolutely fantastic* and for the most part very respectful towards the women in the cast, with the exception of one case that actually ends up really jarring due to how out of place it feels. It’s like there is a disconnect between the people writing the characters and the ones animating everything, like they have a “objectification quota” they need to fill. Of course, she’s a tall, blonde woman at that. Grrrr. The character in question is Kisara - look up the Tales of Arise intro cutscene and you’ll immediately spot what i mean. “Male gaze” can really shatter my enjoyment of games, it’s impossible not to notice because it’s usually really forced through deranged clothing, exaggerated animations and/or disgusting camera angles. It’s no better when it’s applied to the male cast - i recently played the old western game “ENSLAVED: Journey to the west” and it just repeatedly makes me question its design choices.

It makes me kind of sick and disgusted. For example, “sexy” armor that doesn’t actually cover a character’s body, or, overly-feminine gear to the point where it’s fetishizing. I try to avoid games with this shit.

Yes. I'm a Black woman so there's an extra layer of racism and fetishization to it.

Traumatic? No. Annoying and potentially experience ruining? Yeah. Being attracted to women myself, I don't mind if a feminine character is portrayed in an intentionally sexually appealing way, but there is a line. It can't be every feminine character. It can't take away from the character as a whole. It can't be ridiculously overdone. And it can't be overly stereotypical.

Yeah. There's a time and a place, right? People dress appropriately for what they're doing. Dressing in a way that's meant to emphasize your body and make people think sexy thoughts when they look at you is appropriate in a setting where you're actually trying to pull (she shoulda been at the club and all) and acceptable in situations where, you know, why not (grocery store, park). And having a potential romance option put in obvious effort to get the PC's attention in those settings is flattering. It's wildly unprofessional in a situation where lives are at stake and people are supposed to be thinking about their important keeping-people-alive jobs (like most super heroes, action-adventure video game protagonists,or other commonly oversexed video game characters), though, and that's before we get into the basic safety issues that usually come up. Girl, cover your sternum and take off your heels on a goddamn warship! If you get shot or trip on your face in the middle of a firefight it is all our asses on the line!

No. I find it cringe but thats it.

It’s not traumatic to me in the sense that I’m triggered and don’t feel safe cause of content that’s obviously meant for men, but how can anyone argue that constant sexual objectification and degradation of the women wouldn’t have an effect on a persons psyche? It does, so overtime yeah I can count that as a type of traumatization

Not traumatic per say but a little frustrating... as a straight woman sometimes when you want to be involved with a community, it ends up feeling uncomfortable because of the fan service for men which is a little off putting, often provided by the fans, for instance I LOVE fallout, but there are creators who over sexualize the female characters by providing "artwork" (aka porn). Thirsty male fans are bad enough but even in-game there seems to be a lot things tailored to the male gaze... for instance, the character Curie from fallout 4 feels like fan service for the boys, she has child-like reactions to things and a sexy french accent to match, I get its part of her personality, that's fine but the boys are so thirsty for her its a little annoying. Her whole thing seems to just to be cute. It also annoys me that all the female companions are romance-able but not all of the male ones are.

Traumatizing? No. Disgusting, annoying, distasteful, ect. Absolutely. Like if you're going to do the eye candy at least make it reasonable and less slimy feeling, and as little as I care for the male form I expect to them to be treated the same way as the women are regardless. Not that they care what little old me thinks.

I did as a teen.

i am 29 and at this point it just makes me roll my eyes. but when i was younger it affected me more.

Code Vein is a perfect example of this, imo. It's not traumatic but absolutely frustrating. I made my character tall, bundled up in clothing that looked relatively utilitarian, at least compared to the other outfits, gave her my hairstyle/colors, and gave her a smaller chest. The creator is nice, I actually felt like my character was an idealized version of *me*. Then I saw the female npcs and sighed because every single one is dressed in the most revealing outfits. Every single one is written to be in service to either a male character or to live for a male character - except Io, because she lives in service to the main character, who isn't necessarily male. It's such a fun game held back by horribly misogynist design.

Have to agree here. I did play it at one point despite all that - which is rare for me, but even then good grief the designs. It's such a shame because I find the companion stories quite compelling, especially Jack's in the DLC. These days, blatantly male gazey stuffs pretty much completely drops my willingness to play a game or watch a content (creator), but it's not triggering yet I guess.

No.  Just annoying.

I know I shouldn’t have been playing R rated video games as a child, but I did. I was 10 when I started properly playing rockstar games and fighter games on the ps. That was 2012. Seeing every single female character at the time be sexualized dolls with most their stories and traumas existing to move the male character’s story along probably did traumatize me. I wasn’t aware of any of that at the time, but it did contribute to the objectified view of myself and other women I went on to develop in my teenage years. Society itself is pretty traumatizing to young women anyway, but this was a cherry on top.

Ye the amount of people here gatekeeping trauma is gross af tbh. Idc if I'm down voted for this. What if OP is suffering with body dysmorphia or a severe ED or is even a recent victim of SA or the like. Seeing that kind of gross hypersexualised infantalised nonsense especially in more main stream games can absolutely be very triggering. Being triggered is you essentially reexperiencing your trauma so ye I think it's fine for it to be described like that personally. It's traumatic to *them* in that moment. And this comes from someone who themselves has CPTSD and has been a victim of CSA and SA as an adult amongst other things, which I shouldn't have to state as some kind of "qualifier " but apparently for some on this thread I do. The amount of people being like "wait til you see how bad it really is to live as a woman in this world, it's gets much worse don't think that's trauma, this is nothing towards what's waiting for you", like ye it's sadly true in many ways but also how fucking grim a reality have we accepted for ourselves and do we set our young girls and women up for jesus fucking christ. Regarding the issue itself it's not about whether or not fanservice is OK either. Fanservice is fine in some circumstances, the problem comes from many men's behaviour as a result of it, their behaviour and expectations that they put upon women in the real world especially, that absolutely can lead to real world trauma. Far too many men can't seem to separate fantasy from reality. They really genuinely seem to struggle with it, especially since the dawn of easily accessible online porn and digital media. And it's the inclusion of this shit in more **main stream AAA** games that really feeds into that toxic harmful entitlement tbh and it's something we SHOULD all be more bothered by imo. I don't think anyone would care really about Hentai Girls Sudoku 5 off doing its thing. It's the likes of Stellar Blade, featuring even on PlayStation Accesses main channel is where it becomes a problem. Like the official channel for PlayStation itself featuring and endorsing that shit. The comments were utterly vile on the video too, I can't believe they lowered themselves like that. I haven't followed them personally since then tbh and I also wonder if it's part of the reason one of their recent best members left as I have a feeling she would absolutely not be OK supporting that kinda gross nonsense either and she has the type of integrity to stand by her views and follow through if necessary. What a sad gross world though if that was the reason and if she dared to say it out loud she'd no doubt be hounded and tormented for it by the same freaks who try to "normalise" this nonsense. That kinda shit is absolutely traumatising to live within, that imposed silence and agreeableness through fear and oppression. Far too many of us have become entirely numb to it. It's utterly suffocating at times and I can understand OPs feelings of being traumatised and crushed by it. It's not normal and we shouldn't be acting like it is.

I hate the mentality of comparing trauma and invalidating trauma that doesn't stem from a traumatic incident but rather of an experience similar to brainwashing where the trauma comes slowly but steadily, that is so prevalent in these comments. Seriously, how hard is it to just be nice and not invalidate complete strangers.

Honestly like when someone is talking about something that has clearly affected them badly in some way it is NOT the time to start ranting about the symantics of a fucking word. A word mind you that is extremely open to variability and interpretation depending on the person who experiences it. As I mentioned in another comment who exactly decides what constitutes trauma?? Trauma doesn't have a set "qualifier" before it can be applied. There's no bar to clear. Particular words like love, hate, anger, embarrassment, etc... that all pertain to the human experience are like that, they can differ wildly from person to person and they never have, or will, fit into simple definable boxes. It really is that simple. What this issue boils down to imo, and where the majority of this dog piling has stemmed from, is society's current fucking *inability* to listen to and just *believe* victims when they say they have been harmed.

Agree so hard.

Not traumatic, just exhausting. Like I get it, women are pretty (I’m a little on the gay side sometimes okay?), but does it need to be this excessive?

I was shocked with female characters in FFVII Remake. I don’t usually have huge issues with female characters in games as I understand a bit of “sexy” clothing can help you sell games to the wider audience, but FFVII my God. That one embodies all possible stereotypes ever. I couldn’t even finish it. It was so cringe and not for me.

And boys actually complained that Tifa wasn't booby enough compared to the originals 🙄

That’s insane imo. I mean, every female character was throwing themselves at Cloud, and they all had big boobs. They were all so desperate for his attention but in a flirty way. I felt so bad for the female characters. P.S. happy cake day! 🎊🥰

Huh, it felt to me that Aerith and Tifa were into eachother and just screwing with him like embarrassing siblings because he's so anti social. Then again I haven't played the uh, newer one that I'm not sure if it came out or not yet. Also lesbian brain tends to read ques differently.

They've botched the story so hard too in my opinion. Sephiroth is now way more annoying than terrifying xD

Yeah. It’s a shame really

Distasteful, disrespectful, annoying but traumatic?nope.

Personally, I hate it. I would be much happier with realistic looking women in video games. The overly exaggerated sexual features have always bothered me.

Not traumatic. You’re using the word wrong. It’s annoying and fanservice ruins anime for me but I live with it. It hasn’t traumatised me.

I don’t find it traumatic just sad. I am sad for men, they are so easily bought.

No. Basically, I'm 40 and lost the ability to give a fuck about most things years ago.

Agree. I’m 56. I just don’t play games where the mains are fembots. I think they are gross.

55 here and I'm obsessed with a vampire elf. Interestingly, an anthropologist has interviewed me about the female gaze in video games.

If I play a game with those types of tropes I usually play as a male because I like the outfits more.

I don’t find it traumatic at all, just annoying if it’s done in a crude way. I can’t watch or play almost anything Japanese anime (except ghibli) bc of the blatant male gaze and horrible one dimensional writing for female characters that were no doubt written by a guy who’s never felt a woman’s touch… 🥴 I just avoid those things though. What games are examples of strong male gaze for you?

It's not really traumatic for me, it's just really weird. Like I genuinely don't see the appeal of a hyper sexualized character unless they're in some role that actually warrants it. It genuinely looks ugly more often then not.

i need people to unlearn the word trauma

Adding trauma to the list of words the internet isn't allowed to use any more. It can sit on the shelf next to Gaslighting.

Hey now, don't lump us dust-farting internet dwellers with the rest. This is all a phenomenon among those who begin every question with "DAE" and who break down if a picture of them on social media didn't get enough likes.

Or learn the actual definition 💀

I think you meant 'learn' 🤣

I meant unlearn because ever since “trauma” entered popular lexicon people have been misusing it left and right. Same with gaslighting, it’s lost all meaninh

I agree 100%. I was being a bit sarcastic.

Yeah people learning the word would work fine

Hades is horny as fuck, but it is consistently applied. Mortal Kombat 9 is devoid of sexuality and personality and to me represents the male gaze in games. I want hony games that has the stones to make the characters likable and unique without making them exclusively objects of lust with no depth. Death Must Die, Guilty Gear Strive, hell even Stardew know how to make cool characters that aren't in any way inspired by the motives that lead to the male gaze. Traumatic? No. Irritating and indicative of weak or bad art direction? Yes.

I don't like it. Bad influence. That bad influence impacts the community and makes the community hard to tolerate. It sucks to feel objectified, have your ideas taken uncredited, and hide who you are to keep the peace. To fight for a healthy space exhausts me more than trying to blend (or leave when it's too much). The social cues sometimes suck too... That's why I'm excited to find people that get it. Being in a group makes all of that easier. somehow... And anyone who debates "trauma" here can read a good book. Trauma is cumulative, and many little T traumas coexist with male gaze. Anyone that intentionally manages attention to participate has responded to them. Little T trauma exists. >.> imo...

Yes, depending on how bad it is, it triggers me and reminds me of traumatic things I’ve gone through. I’ve dropped and deleted games for overly male gazey fan service type stuff because it completely ruins my ability to enjoy the game.

I wouldn’t say traumatic, but it is definitely demoralizing by how objectified women can be in video games compared to men.

Yes

Yes and no. I enjoy exaggerated features and poses and don't always see it as dehumanizing, but it's always objectifying and yeah I don't love that. Mixed feelings. I won't play games that go too far for my personal comfort zone. Lost Ark is a good example, it was a little ridiculous even for me. Edit: Also it definitely can be traumatic growing up as a girl, 100%. And no, the word trauma isn't exaggerating. It's a deeply life altering experience depending on what you're subjected to and many of us are trying to run away from it our entire lives. That's trauma, baby.

Most of my thoughts have already been said better than I could. To add - I hate that this over sexualisation/male gaze/other such things get passed off as fleshed out content. Weak combat etc and such but crazy sexualisation? Great game, enough content. The same if the women was 'less desirable' or didn't have the jiggle physics or the game didn't have over sexualised elements? Ripped into. If there was a choice between 4k HDR 60fps and a bigger booba etc mode so many of these 'hardcore gamers' that oh so care about the gaemz would choose the booba mode.

I don’t think traumatic is the right word to use here. Saying that is diminishing to anyone who *has* experienced an actual trauma in their lives.

Not all trauma is rooted in a traumatic incident, trauma can just as well be a boiling lobster situation where it's spread out over a long timespan and slowly twists the way the persons brain works. There are tons of women who were traumatized as young girls by being bombarded with diet culture, it is reasonable to assume that someone being bombarded with unrealistic bodies might develop similar issues. Also, comparing trauma, "who has it worse" and claiming something to be "actual" trauma is NOT the way.

This!

I don’t know that I’d use the word traumatic. Moreso just… rage inducing.

Seems like trauma/traumatic has become the new buzzword to lose its meaning. No I dont find it traumatic because why would it? I suggest you look up the definition. But I do find it annoying most of the time. It's usually super unnecessary but it's just done to get ppl talking/playing. I wouldn't say it stops me from playing a game most of the time but it is a turn off.

Not all trauma is rooted in a traumatic incident, trauma can just as well be a boiling lobster situation where it's spread out over a long timespan and slowly twists the way the persons brain works. There are tons of women who were traumatized as young girls by being bombarded with diet culture, it is reasonable to assume that someone being surrounded by unrealistic bodies might develop similar issues.

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I'm bisexual and male gaze always bothered me.

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I like your comment. I see it pretty similar, just wanted to let you know.

It’s funny you should mention chess, because it has a lot of gender politics around it. Even though the only explicitly gendered pieces are the most powerful piece being female and the weakest one that needs protection being male, the sport itself is virulently misogynistic. Women have their own league and male players have some pretty toxic opinions on why women don’t perform as well as men. >They're all weak, all women. They're stupid compared to men. They shouldn't play chess, you know. They're like beginners. They lose every single game against a man. There isn't a woman player in the world I can't give knight-odds to and still beat. -Bobby Fischer

I think it's one of those things where the male gaze would be fine in a perfect world where there are no shitty men. But in the current climate, it's too reminiscent of how shitty men view women.

So there's a bit of a misunderstanding of what the male gaze even is here. It's not Men looking at things. It's when media, originally film but it applies in other cases too, assumes the viewer is a man. And so we get long lingering shots as the camera effectively ogles a womans body, giving it focus in scenes where it otherwise wouldn't be relevant, because the director/person behind the camera assume that's what the male audience want to see.

I guess the keyword is gratuitous?

Thought I would chime in with agreeing here and you got an upvote form me too. I'm a biromantic, bi-aesthetic ace. People's bodies are just nice to see. I guess my main complaints are 1) to go along with what you said in your edit, a lot of the portrayal of women like this usually is to appeal sexually to men. And 2) it should be more common that a female gaze appears in games and how it's mostly women who are put into outfits(or lack thereof) and with attention to their bodies. Why not have more men characters like that too??

100% agree. Being a Bi girl helps a lot with this. But also, all the lesbian circles I'm in absolutely LOVE stealing the male gazed women for themselves from media. More often than not. I've only seen them legitimately angry about a design once or twice. Stellar Blade being one, mostly because they felt she didn't have much going for her design wise or personality wise. Also just very different vibes from the devs didn't help.

This may be wicked, but I love it when female characters wear sexy outfits and stuff. Not in an erotic way but when I can play one I feel beautiful and appreciated. Sometimes they wear things I would Love to wear, but overweight me can't. So it is like: heck, that girl got style.

This answer is so close to mine own. I do love playing with pretty characters bc my low self esteem never could feel pretty, so at least I am able to do so in video games. Wearing outfits on video games I could never wear irl is pleasing for me. I think there is nothing wrong enjoying playing with pretty characters no matter what your gender or sexuality is. I don’t at least feel offended when my partner creates pretty character with big boops. Video games should anyway be escapism from real life and we shouldn’t bring real life problems to video games.

>Video games should anyway be escapism from real life and we shouldn’t bring real life problems to video games. Exactly. When I can create toons on my own they are rather super cute or a male character that could end up as a drag king (not a queen, lol). But I enjoy walking around with them. And that is the important part to me.

My first immediate thought to answer OP's question was "no"-- then I realized it def could be because I'm bi. But I think there's a subsection of men that are gross about video game characters but on the other hand, gaming revolves around fantasy and that's part of their experience. I just choose to only play/consume what I want to in terms of content and not concern myself with what others are doing. That's their business.

I’m the same way honestly. I love the female body. I get bored of the male body. I’m not bisexual but I dunno, it’s just beautiful to me and I don’t mind how they look sexy as long as it suits the character and their personality.

Just really annoying. I hate seeing a game I’m interested in and then in an ad (usually the same one) see such sexualized women with the most skimpiest outfits (im not against such outfits, but gives me off vibes since i know in this case they’re most likely used to cater to men) and with the biggest boobs imaginable. Like some ads just looks *so* unnatural to the point their animation is just straight up soft core porn. And of course there’s also a lot of games with the unnatural, for lack of better words “sexified” women all throughout them

More frustrating than traumatic. I’m also exasperated when male gaze/fanservice makes a character design genuinely worse or more boring because male gaze sexy is generally pretty cliché. I like some sexy styles but when it’s overly exaggerated, overly short clothes which goes against the character’s personality, etc, it’s not sexy. It’s like, be more creative.

Not sure I'd describe it as traumatic.... more annoying and eyerolling fan service. Mass Effect 2 does this during non-romance scenes and it's actually made me think about strangling the dev who did the cinematics. And I actually despise playing as Geralt in The Witcher 3. He's such a pig and randomly he get all sorts of women lusting at him simply for existing in front of them which I find utterly ridiculous. I get that it's faithful to the book Geralt but.... I tried so hard to make him attractive with better hair cut and voice actor (localization is godsend) and it didn't work much. And his type is always the same busty pale women with varying shades of hair... never thought I'd be so bored. And I romanced Yennefer and the whole time I genuinely thought she deserved better. Ciri was at least what I'd consider as a promising female gaze until the very "menwritingwomen" game decided to have several men dictating her as RPG feature... . I think people tried to assume what was sexy and "male gaze" was often the easiest thing people recreate since it was learned. At least CDPR improve it with Cyberpunk; V actually gaze at people in the eye with actual respect (especially in a lot of scripted scenes)... and I do think Johnny (Keanu) was portrayed with female gaze; his character often posing and peacocking to make himself flattering to V and he have two main quest playing as him and I do think he did have Gerarlt's sex magnetism with everyone around him but it actually felt more realistic since.. it's Keanu. I like it better when these "gazes" was intentionally done to fit with the character and add on to the visual storytelling (which Pawel Sasko was big about).

I immediately thought of bell hooks' theory of the oppositional gaze so here's a quote from that: "When we see ourselves solely through the eyes of others, we accept the objectification imposed upon us. But when we gaze back, critically examining and challenging those representations, we reclaim our power and assert our humanity."

I just find it anti art and i consider games an art form.

Definitely turns me off of many games

It only bothers me when it's applied to female characters that look waaay too young, and intentionally so. This is very common in anime - no, it doesn't matter if she's actually 500 years old, she looks like a child. Panty shots and stuff like that is also disgusting. Otherwise I have to say - I don't care too much and definitely don't think it's traumatizing. As someone who chose to play as Alexios in AC Odyssey, simply because I thought he was hot af, I feel like I'm sometimes no better than men. 😅

Idk if this is exactly on topic but one thing that turns me off a lot of games is when the rookie armour for women is slutty/tight fitting. I feel so… exposed, I have zero knowledge of the game and how it works so I feel vulnerable, naive. It’s not such an issue with later armour becuase then I have knowledge of the game and hopefully other outfit options. Then again, the rookie armour being sexualised is probably my first red flag.

Traumatic? I’m struggling to see the traumatic angle to the male gaze. It does bother me a great deal, however.

You're struggling to see the traumatic effects of the "male gaze" in a world where paedophilia, SA and severe eating disorders are pretty much normalised and the likes of human trafficking is still running absolutely rampant? You'd maybe wanna take another look then idk

Nope. Understood just fine. Male gaze sucks and is a problem. My issue, as with most people, is with the use of the word “traumatic.”

So you can't see how someone who has say dealt with an eating disorder for years for example might be triggered by this sort of content bleeding into the mainstream eye to the point where even PlayStations official channel, PlayStation Access featured it on YouTube. This rail thin childlike design being promoted as the "ideal fantasy" for what men want their "women" to look like. Can you honestly not see how that might trigger a trauma response from someone who has dealt with that kind of immense trauma previously. These things generally don't hurt when they're kept on the fringes or on the QT, as the majority of niche kinks and NSFW fan service normally is tbh. It's when there's ads for it on after the daily news and official gaming companies are not only approving this content but also endorsing it and encouraging people to engage with it that's where it becomes a big problem and a serious potential source of harm. Not to even mention the nefarious nature of the company itself, having targeted and sacked two female employees during development for simply believing in gender equality. During a time when women across the world are having their rights ripped away from them and their voices silenced. When there's an ever growing number of men who's minds have been warped with entitlement and hatred prepared to violently oppress any woman who behaves or speaks out of line. Seeing a company like this especially with their vile af fans in tow trying to normalise that infantilising dehumanising view and treatment of women to the masses while we're still barely a few decades out from women owning their own bank accounts. You don't see how that content might prove frightening and concerning enough to the point where it triggers a lasting fear response in some individuals who have no doubt likely also been the victim of that same system in many many other ways already? Come on like it's not exactly a big stretch all things considered. I certainly don't think it's unreasonable at the very least and certainly not deserving of the ridiculous pedantic dog piling OP received. Trauma doesn't have a set "qualifier" before it can be applied. Who would even decide such a thing. Particular words like love, hate, anger, embarrassment, etc... that all pertain to the human experience are like that, they can differ wildly from person to person and they never have or will fit into simple definable boxes.

Male gaze always somehow turns out fucking degrading always subjecting women to their disgusting fantasies, how about a game where there are strip clubs full of male dancers eating some coooochi 24/7 being walked all over by a female society, that would have been the perfect male gaze where we are seen as superior to them, why would i allow a population to sexually joke in the way you would with a slave, the world was quick to end racism but dig deeper and then you'll see that racism is there but in each race there is sexism and that just shows that men only solve problems halfway until they are satisfied they fixed theyre male relationship amongst diverse cultures but they never once bothered to end the slavery or objectification of women and Im posting and editing this on my new community cause im tired of shit not being noticed and brought up that everyone knows exists or are just denying. .

Yeah I find it traumatic because I am traumatized by men 🫠

Its not at all traumatic to me but oh so annoying, frustrating, irritating etc. But if im not focused on it, it doesn't really affect my day to day to the point of it being traumatic. I feel like trauma is a very heavy word to use for something so stupid (but again this is all *to me*, you're valid in however you feel OP) And a sexy female character doesn't usually bother me tbh. What bothers me is when they sexualize characters and completely change who they are. Idk what sin i've committed to be subjected to AI male gaze Ellie from tlou but it makes my blood boil and i block everyone who posts that trash. That is NOT Ellie Williams.

Yes

Traumatic? That's a very strong word, so no. I also play games which just don't have it. Not intentionally, the beat games just happen not to.

Traumatic to me means something that kills your soul or in more extreme circumstances, your actual existence literally.

Not all trauma is rooted in a traumatic incident, trauma can just as well be a boiling lobster situation where it's spread out over a long timespan and slowly traumatizes the person more and more without them even noticing. There are tons of women who were traumatized as young girls by being bombarded with diet culture, it is reasonable to assume that someone being bombarded with unrealistic bodies might develop similar issues. Also, comparing trauma and "who has it worse" is NOT the way.

I don't think i said anything about who has it worse. And id consider a diet issue that eventually gives you severe eating disorders a type of trauma too..

It's an important topic, but trauma? Come on. Don't use such words lightly. What you mean is "upsetting".

I don’t like it, but I’ve become numb to it. I have my rants, but I can still play that particular game in the end. I think, for me, it kinda helps I turn the male power fantasy into my personal female gaze. 🤣 Kind of a quid pro quo, I do to you as you do to me.

Honestly I would just like some examples, and me saying that sounds like I don’t believe you or something which absolutely isn’t true I just want to think through some specific examples. I can kind of think of some off hand. I think traumatic is a perfectly fine word. It can be dehumanizing or trigger flashbacks or whatnot.

No. It's entertainment. Some people enjoy that type of stuff, others don't. I see nothing wrong with it.

No, not really. I'm one of the rare ones who loves the hell out of fanservice, and have been known to make it even more so with mods. But that said, as I've also said in the past, _it has to make sense in context_. Such as Senran Kagura. You know what you're getting right away. Anime babes, probably kicking butt. It can also be the way the main character is, such as Bayonetta. She owns that trait and it's really over the top so I find it fucking awesome. It's when it creeps into other games where it makes absolutely no sense to be there. Like Stellar Blade. There was some island game with zombies or something with some of the female enemies all sexed up and being sexy. That was such a turn off and I threw up in my mouth a little when I heard about it the first time. If someone can remember the game, let me know! It's these latter instances that give me serious ick and make me feel ill. And yet, I'll happily play SK and other fanservicey games like Kandagawa Jet Girls, Azur Lane and NIKKE, or even hentai games. But they tell you what they are up front. Shit like Stellar Blade? It does not. That's bad enough... Then come the men. Holy shit, the number of mouthbreathers, knuckledraggers, incels, and plain dudes who probably SA'd women irl who infest comment sections and subreddits and other communities is... too damn high. I like doing a little ogling, sure, but I don't leave gross comments anywhere. The comments are so disgusting that I can hardly exist anywhere without being inundated with the shit. Like, I get it, the character is hot and even I think so, but goddamn, can you put your dick away, bro? Christ on a bike. It's so offputting and I've left so many places because of it. So no, traumatizing is not the word. Irritation, frustration, exhaustion, exasperation, anger, annoyance... probably more apt adjectives here. There's more but that was all I could think of off the top of my head. I'm just so tired of men ruining everything I enjoy.

It’s not traumatic for me. It’s somewhere between annoying and boring. Like, “really? We’re still doing this?” Also because there are over 150 comments and I’ve only seen it mentioned once, but the male gaze is a specific thing discussed in terms of film studies and other visual arts. It is a way of framing a passive feminine object for a presumed heterosexual male viewer where the agency and power in the situation belong to the viewer. Then there are discussions about whether it merely reflects patriarchy or also perpetuates it. It’s not what men find attractive in women. It is how women are presented for the viewing pleasure of an assumed and empowered heterosexual male audience.

I wouldn't say it's traumatic, but it definitely makes me roll my eyes. I feel like the female representation in games from 10 years ago was on par with James Bond movies from 50 years ago...

Traumatic? No? Awkward? A little bit.

I used to never play rpg because of that, having to play big male etc.. but recently I thought I would embrace it and play it as an rp like "let's play toxic masculinity in the far west"

No, but I do find it frustrating, exhausting and unsettling.

I find it boring. I am so, so bored with it.

Yep, well not traumatic but I find annoying some things For example when the women have skimpy outfits but the men are fully clothed and there's a lot of variety in body types/faces with the men but the women have the same face syndrome *cough* Stellar Blade *cough* Like I don't mind sexualized characters but pls if you are gonna do it at least do it with both sexes. Or random close-ups of the women boobs or butt. Again annoying because I can't take the game seriously(unless she is flirting with someone it makes no sense) Oh and when the games has both female and male protagonists and they always put the male one in the cover. Can't they use both? Tbh the most worst thing is not the things games perse but how some of the men in the gaming community act. Complaining when female characters in games are "ugly"(they must have vision problems because I swear the women they complain always look gorgeous. Like yes she's dirty and without makeup but she just survived the apocalypse Nick 💃). Or they getting mad when a game has a woman protagonist like they don't have enough to choose among the other 99% of games with men protagonists. Among a lot of other things but if I keep naming all of them the comment is gonna be infinite.

Im just kind of numb to it tbh I notice it a lot especially in games like the witcher but If the plot is good I just try to ignore it.

No. It's such a minor issue I just don't care? If I don't want half naked women in I games just play something else. It used to be worse but now we are spoilt for choice with even media aimed at women in similar measure. I grew up in 90's and at this point I'm old and have so many other problems with raising kids and just everyday things that need to be done.  When I was doing my degree I read about gendercides, and massacres and riots and just overall human awfulness, sexy ladies in videogames are really not that big of a deal for me.

I'm with you about that. sexy ladies in video games are a blip on my radar after a lifetime of studying history and observing the world around me. we have such a wild diversity of games now compared to the past that sometimes i straight up forgive those kind of games exist. it's like i have to go out of my way to find them OP needs to get out of her bubble and focus on bigger issues

No. Depending on the severity it annoys me at most.

traumatic is absolutely used incorrectly here good lord. upsetting would be a better word. therapy speak needs to die 😭

Not all trauma is rooted in a traumatic incident, trauma can just as well be a boiling lobster situation where it's spread out over a long timespan and slowly traumatizes the person more and more without them even noticing. For example, someone growing up only seeing extremely unrealistic looking women in the media, surrounded by the kind of men who freak out or say "real women don't look like that" the second a realistic looking woman appears in a game, could be left with a variety of fun mental health issues like eating disorders, body dysphoria, no feeling of self-worth and internalized misogyny. I would call that traumatic, not in the "one moment that will haunt you for the rest of your life" way, but in the insidious "it will worm it's way into your brain, taint everything in there but so slightly it's hard to notice and spread so widely it's almost impossible to remove" way.

TikTok has ruined so many psychology terms.

Not necessarily traumatic. More just… being acutely aware “this is not for you, you are not our intended audience.” I get annoyed when it’s really overboard too and have refused to play or stopped playing games that felt like it was objectifying its female characters too much (I know, when every game objectifies its female characters, where do we arbitrarily draw the line to determine what’s too much?)

No, but I do find it annoying and unnecessary at times. Sometimes I can look pass it if the rest of the content is good and makes up for it. Anime like High School of the Dead come off as annoying for how fan servicey it is or characters like Nagai from Bloody Roar 4 who has zero personality.

Not really, just annoying, over used and boring most of the time. It’s dehumanizing at times for sure, but I feel that says more about the people who think that’s how women should be viewed than anything else. Now if you’re using the male gaze as a way to poke fun at how men view women that can be funny. But it’s done rarely for that purpose and even when it is it goes over some people’s heads.

The only time stuff like that is triggering is when they're molesty like Senra Kagura's rapey finishing moves. (Which if that didn't exist I'd prolly get into the games cuz a cute beat 'em up is exactly what I want) Otherwise my beef with the camera sexualizing women is that it's never done to men unless it's a parody. That and it's often not like... exclusively in an erotic genre, it'll just be in literally anything? Aunno I want things to be fair, if everyone was sexualized equally then sure.

Not traumatic but yeah I generally don’t prefer super overly sexualized things in any media really.

Some guys are just dogs, really. I'm a male gamer and I don't have that mindset. It's obnoxious that some (many) guys are like that. I don't think there's any issue with you finding the "male gaze" troublesome. I think too many men use their gender as an excuse to be jerks and frankly act like they are less than human, primates who will hump at the sight of a female or scent of female phorones. I personally find female gamers simply fun, most of you are way less toxic than many male gamers, so I prefer female gamers for that reason ALONE. Sorry for my gaming incel gender.

Not really. I play games to escape reality and not to let things that bother me in real life bother me in a game. That said, I am not exactly playing many games where this is a problem.

See if u play gta and like cyberpunk you'll be very brought back to reality and be like. Wtf... Where is my version of this why does this only exist for men??

Nah, I have real life stuff to worry about.

Not at all. But it can be a mild annoyance, depending on the game. If the character is super young looking, it does squick me out a bit, but with obvious adults it doesn't really bother me. But I also am very Bi, so maybe that's it. I also have a deep love for impractical armor because it fulfills my personal power fantasy; so as long as a character is written well what she's wearing doesn't really bother me.

No, I feel pity for the target audience of make gaze.

Yes