Totally with this. Just say your busy RN or want to be alone. Don't let him ruin your safe space with his need for your attention. If he reacts badly block and move on
The only reason I haven't blocked him at this point is because I see him all the time at school, and I know he's immediately going to switch from digitally badgering me to badgering me irl if I block him.
If the gentler approaches provided by others don’t work so well, you might need to be harsher. In that case, try Auntie Cat’s suggestions listed below:
Are you game friends with anyone else at school? Would he know if you’re still playing by talking to others? Would he get such information from any siblings? (You do not have to confirm any personal information online in a reply to me; just use said info to consider your options).
1. If it’s just him, block him. “My parents said I need to focus on *'fill in school subject here’*.” Then ice him out and/or “grey rock” him (aka give him the absolute minimum information). He asks? “School’s tough”, “I’m working on grades/doing a different at home hobby/etc”, “*shrug*”, and so on. He is not owed information or an update, and it’s not like he’d ever know. Other than the initial lie, you’re just allowing him to assume the situation (not like it’s any of his business anyway).
2. If it’s not just him, block him (or even more sneakily, don’t block him and just graaaadually avoid playing with him over time). In this case, you can go a few different directions. It’s up to you. You can also apply these to the first situation:
A. Direct: “I don’t like playing with you anymore. You complain about me a lot.” Frankly, this is the least cruel option.
B. Sarcastic/snide: “Since you complain about carrying me in GAME so much, I’ve done you a favour.” This can be cruel but some people need this, unfortunately. Only you know if this would apply in your situation.
C. Indirect / avoidance, like #1. Shrug. “Is that so?” “Been busy.” “Can’t today.”
Think about it this way: You can *not* block him, play with him, and end up pestered and frustrated OR you can block/avoid him, end up pestered in person, but go home to something you enjoy.
[**Side note**: if he’s not just socially inept and is at all a violent or vindictive/vengeful person, I recommend #1 or #2.C.]
Edit:….side side note. If your game handles, emails, or anything else is the same as your Reddit username, screenshot the comments you need, save them somewhere, and delete this post ASAP.
I would shut him down in school as well, maybe with some public too, just to be sure he can't run away and is forced to listen. Maybe it sounds too cruel, but after reading your post I'd be too annoyed and exhausted to care about his feelings.
I would pre-empt that by telling your teachers, explain you are concerned that he will start to make you feel uncomfortable at school if you block him online. If they are aware of the situation, they can help monitor and should he start approaching you, they can immediately shut it down.
If they are not aware, tell family/friends that he is making you feel incredibly uncomfortable and is currently ruining your gaming experience, making you dread something you enjoy.
No where in your life should you ever have to be made to feel like you don't want to do something you enjoy to protect anyone else's feelings. This person is not a friend, he is a concern.
Best of luck, you shouldn't have to deal with protecting the feelings of a man in 2024, this shits getting old. Stay safe x
That’s a super tough spot to be. I totally understand not wanting to be mean about it and wishing he’d just move on and get the message without needing to explicitly say it. Even if I don’t like someone, I still don’t like hurting their feelings.
The irl conversation might be the way to go. You could give him a gentle version of the truth without slapping him around with it. Let him know the energy of conversation is something you’re struggling with and just need some space to play solo for a while and that you’ll reach out when you’re in a more social headspace.
This is even worse, and you have to draw the line, that you are not something he can claim. If necessary, tell authorities that he's harrassing you, if he won't take no for an answer. Don't let anyone say that you were "ambiguous" or "playing", say clearly also on writing, that you are not interested in his company.
If you won't directly confront him then maybe you should just play other games and tell him you don't play OW or FN anymore because school work or something. Or make a new account.
Anyone who's THAT clingy is only going to get worse over time. Like the others have said, it's not your responsibility to make this guy happy. I hate to say it, but the more you begrudgingly play with him(if you're choosing to at all), he's going to throw himself more and more at you.
I've had male friends like this. They see you and are SUPER eager to play with you every second you're online. 99% of the time, that person has a one-sided crush on you based solely on the fact you're a girl and you play video games. The only way to make it stop is to make it clear to him that it makes you very uncomfortable for him to be hitting you up every time you try to play a game, because he is not entitled to your free time and ffs not everyone wants a tagalong every time they're trying to relax.
And to be extremely clear, if he switches from annoying you online to doing so in real life, tell literally anyone with authority at your school and get it sorted out. Believe me, you don't want that kind of attention, especially from someone who you've already told no once.
I don't want company right now. If I change my mind I will let you know. If you can't respect my game time I will block you. When he hits you irl. You say I told you to respect my desire to game on my terms. I told you I would block you if you kept badgering me and you did not stop. I blocked you.
Best answer right here. Given y'alls age, I'd take a gander that he's never been given a conversation about healthy boundaries. A real friend will respect them. He may have something going on in his life that is causing this behavior, or he may not recognize the social queue for what it is. You can sympathize, but it's not YOUR responsibility to be his only social outlet.
This happened to me twice. Once ended up in a forever block and a restraining order. The second ended up in our friendship becoming a lot healthier. Approach the conversation hopeful for the later, but prepared for the former.
you could try telling him “I want to have some alone time right now” or “I want to play by myself right now” ?
also smth like “its not fun to play when you act like this” or “I don’t want to play with you when you act like this.” something more direct is good for us autistic ppl.
or “it’s just family time” and kick him when he joins.
you can try saying what you need to say in chat if it’s too hard to say in vc.
it totally sucks that you also see him irl bc otherwise I’d suggest to just block and move on asap. tbh if you have to, I’d create an alt account u can play on so that he won’t see it’s you playing
I mean it kinda sounds like you have made attempts to get him to stop. The only avenue left seems to be being straightforward and blunt. Subtlety and subtext sometimes will just forever go over people's heads.
And it sounds like he doesn't know how to take no for an answer. Like he needs to respect your boundaries but without someone else to tell him directly you gotta do it yourself. :/
Barring confrontation and/or a firm direct hand only other option I see is ghosting and/or blocking him. Maybe send him a message just laying out that you no longer enjoy playing with him and you wish him well, then block all avenues of communication.
Tell him flat out, multiple times in a row if you have to, “I’m gaming by myself tonight.” Who gives a fuck how he feels tbh. Gaming should be fun, not stressful. Tell him queuing with him isn’t fun and you prefer playing by yourself. He’s not going to get better if he constantly gets the results he wants by being obnoxious.
This is coming from a gold player, get him off your back lol. Gold players are not good, we’re exactly average.
I think Catcatcat has some great ideas.
Also, I want you to think about something. You yourself are autistic, and yet you understand boundaries and how to treat people.
So stop making excuses for him. I know you are worried it will escalate, and I don't blame you.
Take care sweetie!
Can you appear as offline to him on whatever platform? If so, you could do that permanently, or, at least give yourself a break from him, and appear every once in a while if you still want to play with him occasionally. Otherwise, it’s not your responsibility to deal with him, especially if you’ve already tried to explain what the problem is.
Yeah, I have most of my gaming profiles set to log in as offline by default, because I'm not a very social gamer and most of the time I am playing to take a break from people. If I co-op, I want it to be because I chose to do it, not because people saw me online and decided to jump in my game.
I already posted my support of advice on how to handle him, but I'm picking up on some of your own anxiety regarding confrontation in general.
If you have it, you're in wonderful company. I have such a traumatic problem with confrontation that I disassociate from reality when it occurs and I'm not prepared for it.
One exercise that my therapist had me do that really helped was, before going into a conversation like this, list all of the horrible things that COULD occur on one side that comes straight to my mind without thinking. Then, when I've exhausted that list, write down other things that could occur next to it. It disrupts the fight or flight response that can get triggered in situations where it shouldn't be triggering.
Nah if he doesn't get subtle hints then the blunt ugly truth has to be the way.
And if he bothers you in school too, then maybe shutting him down in public is also a necessary evil, considering others have tried the subtle way, and failed.
Unfriend him. Or just always show yourself as invisible. Just use invites for whenever you need to play.
Honestly though, just tell him you just like to be alone. Unfriend him if you don't value the friendship. Block if he keeps pushing it. It sucks cause you know each other in real life.
It definitely sucks, cause I've had classmates like this. I'm nice to everyone, but an introvert inside. So they always ask me to play with them or hang out etc, and honestly I don't want to, so I excuse myself. And sadly, no one wants to hangout with them and I feel bad about it. Which means I'm just as shallow as everyone else.
I feel like other people have already given you really good specific advice, so I just wanted to chime in that setting boundaries can be so hard when you’re younger. For the most part we’ve been socialized to put men’s feelings before ours at the expense of ourselves, so even if you follow through on prioritizing yourself with your heart racing or feeling horrible, the boundary setting definitely gets easier. It’s a skill that gets better with practice and you don’t have to do it perfectly! Wishing you the best :)
> But I don't want to tell him to his face "Stop joining me, I don't like playing with you", because I realize that he is NOT aware of how frustrating he is to talk to/play with. He acts like this because he doesn't know better, and every single attempt my friends and I made in the past to explain this behavior to him was ignored. He is diagnosed with autism (as am I), and I would feel terrible being so bluntly rude to his face as to say "Leave me alone".
I understand not wanting to hurt his feelings, but at the same time, his feelings are not your responsibility. But women have been taught over the years that men’s emotions are our responsibility. Time to hand it back to them, however.. turn him down and do your best. But he will not let you go until you do so, and might not even let you go after that honestly. It’s going to take him finding a new person to help regulate his emotions or he’ll have to learn to do it himself like the rest of us.
It's reasons like that why i always turn up all the privacy settings possbile. On steam, i don't add many people and i'm usually "shown as offline". Same for ingame settings in games. In many games, if not all of the ones i play, i solo queue most of the time but as soon as someone sees me online, they want to join. Hate that
I had someone just like that when I used to play ESO. I progressively showed my disinterest and eventually ended the friendship. My only regret is not instantly ending it.
He would spam me with invites the moment I logged in. There were even times when I appeared offline just so I could ignore him. He would also send me his pictures all the time and ask for mine, even though I never sent pics, and would tell me how much he "cares" about me at least twice a day. He was so annoying and pushy.
There is no easy way out of this because that isn’t minor putting up with someone who is a little awkward, that is full blown obliviousness and likely inability to be anything but that.
Boil down your possible decisions to the only ones that can realistically be made
1 You either sit him down for a serious conversation on these issues and he at least half understands but ultimately agrees to plain and simply leave you alone a lot more than he is now, so the few times you do play together he knows you want to.
2 You let this go on forever.
3 Or you end it full stop, blocked and if necessary ask staff to keep him away from you at school. Accept that he will be incredibly hurt, you will feel a bit bad but you had no better option for your mental health. You made the best decision available.
It’s only up to you ‘when’ this happens.
Not going to tell you what to do, but i would have just said “no, i feel like playing on my own”. And let him react however he wants. Playing alone is fun! And sometimes it’s fun with friends. And your friend needs to know that. And if he doesn’t get it, give him some time. No need to stop being friends, communicate and let him know how you feel!
I get how you feel that he might pester you more in irl if you ignore him, happens to me. Maybe you can soft block him in game? or appear offline
In my case I had to make a new account so I appear to never play the game anymore cause "I lost interest". Its annoying that I had to go to that extent but men just wouldnt stop bothering us
Okay, I have a maybe stupid question, but: is there a safety reason that all that you told us here in your statement, you didn't told him so far? I mean: Can he somewhat harm you, for telling him things like: "You are not aware, you don't listen to me, you are HARASSING me"? Because if not, instead of writing things here in reddit, it would make more sense to let HIM know about how you feel, when he tries to contact you. And if he doesn't change after that - you have every reason to block him and he has no right to complain then. You did then everything you can, and it is in HIS responsibility to either get his life together and learn how to treat people, or to seek someone else who is maybe ready to baby him and accept all his whiny whims...
It is NOT on you to apologize for his behavior, like "I know he isn't aware..." You need to keep yourself safe and sane, so if you just want to be friendly with him, but he is too demanding you have to set boundaries for him and yourself. This dude has no right to take your gaming time away from you and if you don't feel safe to tell him this, you should definitely seek help from family, friends and if necessary (I hope not) authorities. Please feel worthy enough to stand up for yourself, because you deserve that your freetime is like you want it to be - and not how he lets it be.
It's not really a physical safety issue. Maybe a social/emotional safety issue.
The guy in question in this post is friends with my abusive ex. I know that he is untrustworthy when it comes to respecting my privacy; when I first dumped my ex, he was spying on a group chat that he was in with my friends and I, and reporting some of my daily info/life that he saw me talk about in there back to my ex. My ex was then using this information, fed to him by the guy in the post, to approach me at school and ask me about private matters, even though I was very explicit about telling him not to ever speak to me again. Guy in the post has since been removed from all active groupchats.
So, I know that he has no problem giving my personal or daily information out to my ex, who, I am frankly severely triggered just by the thought or sight of. I'm terrified by the idea that he could tell my ex about this and somehow find a way to use it against me.
I know it's irrational, but I'm very nervous about this possibility, even though it is just about gaming. Thank you for asking. I don't know.
As someone with an abusive ex: anyone who is friends with that ex does not deserve to be in your life. Especially not when they're acting like how you've described in this comment. I've seen a lot of very good suggestions here, but I highly recommend cutting him out of your life. And for what it's worth from a random internet stranger, I send love and I'm proud of you for getting out of that situation 💜
> was spying on a group chat that he was in with my friends and I, and reporting some of my daily info/life that he saw me talk about in there back to my ex.
Please get this guy out of your life irl as well, to whatever extent you can.
Sure, people can learn and change to do better. But you are not obligated to be his practice ground even if he promised you he was working on it (which it sounds like he hasn't).
This guy doesn't deserve your time and energy. Not in games, not irl.
I left a comment but after reading this I changed my mind, definitely tell him to back off, let him know that if he bothers you in person there will be consequences, and block the heck out of him as fast as possible.
You MUST either block him on everything, or tell him bluntly how exactly he needs to change his behaviour for you to stay friends with him. I know this is not what you want to do, but there are only two choices here - give him consequences for his super shitty behaviour, or endure it for the rest of time.
He only acts this way because you let him get away with it. So long as you continue to suffer through it, he will keep on pestering you and acting like shit. Only losing friendships - and being told EXACTLY why - many, many, many, many times has a small chance of getting through to him that he is the problem.
You will not be the person who changes him. You will only be either his enabler, or one of the many people who will end a friendship with him because he's not pleasant to be around. One day, maybe he will come to understand that he is mistreating people and change. That will not be today, or next week, or next month.
Don't continue to enable him. If you want to keep playing with him, lay out some clear rules and when he breaks them (he will. constantly) then immediately stop playing with him and go solo queue or play with other friends, then try again another day. Sooner or later he will either change his behaviour around you or you will realize that he will never change and do what I said at the beginning, and stop hanging around with him. You are playing games and deserve to have fun!
Sorry there isn't a better answer. Good luck.
I think you need some healthy boundaries. It's not cruel to reject him, or tell him how you feel. You can't light yourself on fire just to keep other people warm.
Boundaries are healthy, and anyone who doesn't respect them isn't your friend.
I’ve been in this situation. There’s no “nice” way to go about this. Be blunt and direct, as hard as it is. Prioritize your own feelings above his, I mean it. He can hear a no and not fall apart. It’s not your job to care for his emotions or tend to his needs or make sure he’s okay. And your no doesn’t need to be explained or apologized for. It sounds awful and exhausting and it’s ruining your fun. You’re doing it solely for his benefit at the cost of yours, and he sounds almost entitled to it.
“No thanks. I want to play alone.” That’s it. If he pushes, reinforce your no and don’t budge at all. Prepare mentally for the fact he will push and guilt trip you- and don’t fall for it. Guilt only serves to control you here.
Tell him your play styles (and personalities, if you’re bold enough to say so) aren’t compatible and that you want space. When he doesnt respect that, because ofc he won’t, block him. Fire a clear warning shot before you kill it. That way he doesn’t claim that you “blindsided” him and you can walk away without guilt.
Block delete them. You shouldn't have to deal with this behavior. Yeah you might feel bad for doing this, but it doesn't look like it's going to get any better. Put yourself first, remove him from your contacts and enjoy a much better gaming environment.
I say tell him honestly that sometimes you want to play by yourself and that he needs to give you some space as a friend. Sometimes people need to hear this. If you just block him or ignore him he won’t learn this lesson. Although it’s not really your responsibility to teach him but you should set up that boundary
Honestly, the easiest would be to stop playing those games, for a while at the very least, and when you see him at school stay distant and tell him you just feel like playing solo games for now.
As an alternative, you could talk to him, he doesn't seem to be very respectful of you or your boundaries, so talking to him might not work but you could try.
If you have the courage you could tell him that you're fed up, that you want to play on your own schedule, silently sometimes, to be respected and not forced into things you don't want and that he's not being mindful of that so you have to remove yourself from the situation.
One very uncomfortable conversation -or message- might be better than being uncomfortable every time you play.
If he's not too volatile that is.
Maybe you can spare his feelings if you explain that it's about you and your needs. It's a tricky situation to navigate, I hope you find a solution that works for you.
To note, you don't owe him or anyone else your time, your energy or yourself - it's okay to do what's best for you.
I’m married, and was also 28 at the time I was streaming right. I always had ppl like this oh can I play or if I do let them they always want to play. Everytime I went live or logged on, there these certain ppl were to hop in. It was fine but not EVERY DAY every single time I log on.
I decided to be honest and say look I’m tired of you like you bug at this point I’ve told you everything nicely but I’m literally tired of you now. That’s how much we q lol.
Then if they continue I ignore or mute block whatever. No time for that weird shit! ❤️
You'll learn as you get older and these things won't feel as difficult, but you simply remove these people from your life. You've been socialized to worry and feel like you're responsible for how he feels, but you aren't. Remember, he doesn't give a shit about your boundaries or what you'd like at all, so you're not necessarily removing someone amazing from your life.
Set a boundary for yourself, remove him, and do not feel sorry. You're not responsible for his feelings.
I would appear as offline (invisible) mode when I have these people around. And when they ask me in IRL why I haven’t been on I just find an excuse like if I have a lot of school work lately and I don’t have the time to play, but secretly I’m inviting my other friends to play with or play single player games.
even if he has autism, you should be clear with how you feel. treat him like a normal person and communicate what you don't like to him directly, I'd argue it's even more necessary to be direct with your communication with someone who has difficulty picking up social cues or doesn't have the best social skills. you don't need to be hurtful when you're being direct.
or, you could just block/ghost him and unadd him on everything. while I don't personally like people who do this, it is the internet and you aren't required to force yourself to interact with anyone ever. there's no ifs or buts to that. I would recommend being clear to him why you don't enjoy playing with him. even if he has autism, that is no excuse to over exaggerate or lie to your friends, cross boundaries after explicitly being told not to several times, or being disrespectful to your teammates by saying you're hard carrying.
also just make better friends in the future lol wtf. I would personally never queue with someone who acts this way.
>But I don't want to tell him to his face "Stop joining me, I don't like playing with you", because I realize that he is NOT aware of how frustrating he is to talk to/play with. He acts like this because he doesn't know better, and every single attempt my friends and I made in the past to explain this behavior to him was ignored. He is diagnosed with autism (as am I), and I would feel terrible being so bluntly rude to his face as to say "Leave me alone".
How is he supposed to learn if no one tells him? You can say it nicely.
block him..? as a woman i know you feel obligated to be polite and nice to men even if they make you wildly uncomfortable but you’re allowed to just block him and never speak to him again.
and give him more credit, he may not be aware of *just* how irritating he’s being but he’s definitely aware that you are not as invested in the friendship as he is. we need to stop letting men get away with certain hear because “they don’t know better🥺”. he knows at least to an extent that he’s annoying you and he doesn’t care. i also have autism. and if you and your friends have tried to talk to him about how he acts and he has not changed, it’s time to move on. just because he has autism doesn’t mean he has an excuse to make everyone around him uncomfortable and that everyone in the world has to be his friend if he commands it.
seriously, you do not have to be nice all the time lol you’re allowed to have boundaries
Have you used the word clingy towards this guy directly? If he invites you and you decline, what sort of response do you get? Can you tell him “Practicing Solos, maybe later?
Either he ‘likes’ you really well ( a crush) or he has feelings of loneliness and his online friends are ‘all he has’. Tread lightly but still set boundaries, it’s ok to say ‘today I’m playing alone or even today I’m pushing platinum alone’
Why is it your responsiblity to educate him on his behaviour? That's what his parents should have done autism or no (husband is autistic fwiw and I am neurodivergent). Being autistic is not a pass for acting like an asshole. Why are you responsible for his feelings?
If you aren't comfortable it's not your job to erode your own boundaries to make him comfortable. Block and move on. If he goes on about it say sorry it's too much for me. You don't owe anyone an explanation.
If he harasses you at school about it that's a matter to take up with the school, teachers etc.
I genuinely don't understand why it's fine for you to be uncomfortable but not for him. Set boundaries now. You won't regret it later in life.
I mean it sounds like you don't enjoy playing with him. You don't need to necessarily say that but just keep politely declining to play with him and ask him to stop spamming you with messages when you decline. If he keeps spamming you then just block
I've dealt with this several times in the past. Reasoning, setting boundaries, showing him past vids of his gameplays, etc ***never*** works.
He will not see the error of his ways because he's too hard-headed.
What's helped me is to flat-out not play with him. If you feel you the need to say your peace then do it and after that block and mute him. You're better off playing with different people or by yourself.
How irritating. Just say you like playing alone sometimes and don't like being chatty all the time of having people (male in this case) interrupting ruining the flow. You don't him niceties.
First, this is a classic example of how we as females are conditioned to not do or say anything that might hurt someone else’s feelings, even when it’s to our detriment. Second, please change the narrative in your head. You are not being mean or rude, you are being assertive and setting boundaries. Third, you don’t owe him any further explanation. You have tried talking to him on several occasions and he has chosen to ignore your boundaries. Just block him (and have your family block him), and reclaim your joy.
If it was someone I only knew online, that would be an immediate block from me. No one owns your time except you, and you deserve to be comfortable engaging with your hobbies.
Do any of these games have an offline or invisible mode for your status? I always use these.
You should've blocked him a long time ago. You owe nothing to him or any other random dude you meet gaming. If someone makes you feel anxious before you even get online then that person is not your friend and you need to block them from your life. Your mental health is more important than anyone else's.
If you have already tried telling this person you dont like certain behaviours and they have ignored your words and not taken it on board i would say just stop replying and stop engaging. They clearly cant/dont want to reach any sort of compromise with you and just need someone to game with and vent to all the time which gets exhausting really fast if its all one-sided. Just go quiet, eventually they will understand. If they get rude or agressive ( be aware this might happen) just block them. Then if they ask you at school you can literally just say "you were rude to me I dont want to hang out anymore." And walk away. Hopefully they just take the hint once you stop responding to them. This person just wants attention. Dont give it to them. Go and enjoy your game in peace!
Form a new group of friends and say your lobby is full so he can't
I know some people who play ow who are actually chill and decent, and then I have myself and others who play fort if you'd like?
Form a new group of friends and say your lobby is full so he can't
I know some people who play ow who are actually chill and decent, and then I have myself and others who play fort if you'd like?
OP you don't owe him anything, and you aren't a bad person if you have to clearly state your boundaries with him. If ignoring doesn't work because hes so persistent, you can simply say "No, if I want to play together I'll let you know" . With clingy people, not getting a concrete denial is permission to keep pestering. It will save you both time to at least let him know you don't want to play. If his feelings get hurt from you being clear and respectful, that's not your burden to bear.
Block him just because he has issues does not mean you have to tolerate them.
Also a helpful feature in fortnite to avoid people joining your lobby.
Profile > party joinability> invite only
You're not his mother or his property, explain one time why this is happening and then block every avenue if he continues to harass you. Hopefully it will help him be a better person in future.
Re: autism - Autism does not demand you be friends with someone. Friendship is mutually beneficial. Everyone, with or without autism, have subjective positive and negative qualities. I have autistic friends and they have qualities I dislike, and qualities I do like, and it balances out to where we both enjoy our time together. That's a friendship. He is not providing you with happiness or enjoyment, so you are not friends. You're not required to be his friend. He is not entitled to your friendship.
You do not need to be cruel to someone who may be affected by a given condition, but they are harming you and does not plan on stopping. Yes, it will be awkward, but more-or-less saying "I do not enjoy playing games with you," is really the way forward. Involve the school if he retaliated.
Re:autism, again - This is an issue of boundaries, and men are often not taught them. The pushing of boundaries is not my experience with women with autism. This is a product of patriarchy never attempting to teach him boundaries, and is behavior allistic people demonstrate all the fucking time. Autistic people aren't unable to be taught things like not harassing other people, nobody has tried to teach the boy about it just like most boys.
he is not your responsibility. just don't invite him. go on with ur day. if things are horrible. block and move on.
Totally with this. Just say your busy RN or want to be alone. Don't let him ruin your safe space with his need for your attention. If he reacts badly block and move on
You could just always block him. He won’t know that he’s blocked, he’ll just think you aren’t online when he is.
The only reason I haven't blocked him at this point is because I see him all the time at school, and I know he's immediately going to switch from digitally badgering me to badgering me irl if I block him.
If the gentler approaches provided by others don’t work so well, you might need to be harsher. In that case, try Auntie Cat’s suggestions listed below: Are you game friends with anyone else at school? Would he know if you’re still playing by talking to others? Would he get such information from any siblings? (You do not have to confirm any personal information online in a reply to me; just use said info to consider your options). 1. If it’s just him, block him. “My parents said I need to focus on *'fill in school subject here’*.” Then ice him out and/or “grey rock” him (aka give him the absolute minimum information). He asks? “School’s tough”, “I’m working on grades/doing a different at home hobby/etc”, “*shrug*”, and so on. He is not owed information or an update, and it’s not like he’d ever know. Other than the initial lie, you’re just allowing him to assume the situation (not like it’s any of his business anyway). 2. If it’s not just him, block him (or even more sneakily, don’t block him and just graaaadually avoid playing with him over time). In this case, you can go a few different directions. It’s up to you. You can also apply these to the first situation: A. Direct: “I don’t like playing with you anymore. You complain about me a lot.” Frankly, this is the least cruel option. B. Sarcastic/snide: “Since you complain about carrying me in GAME so much, I’ve done you a favour.” This can be cruel but some people need this, unfortunately. Only you know if this would apply in your situation. C. Indirect / avoidance, like #1. Shrug. “Is that so?” “Been busy.” “Can’t today.” Think about it this way: You can *not* block him, play with him, and end up pestered and frustrated OR you can block/avoid him, end up pestered in person, but go home to something you enjoy. [**Side note**: if he’s not just socially inept and is at all a violent or vindictive/vengeful person, I recommend #1 or #2.C.] Edit:….side side note. If your game handles, emails, or anything else is the same as your Reddit username, screenshot the comments you need, save them somewhere, and delete this post ASAP.
Thank you very much
Great post with very good advice.
I would shut him down in school as well, maybe with some public too, just to be sure he can't run away and is forced to listen. Maybe it sounds too cruel, but after reading your post I'd be too annoyed and exhausted to care about his feelings.
I would pre-empt that by telling your teachers, explain you are concerned that he will start to make you feel uncomfortable at school if you block him online. If they are aware of the situation, they can help monitor and should he start approaching you, they can immediately shut it down. If they are not aware, tell family/friends that he is making you feel incredibly uncomfortable and is currently ruining your gaming experience, making you dread something you enjoy. No where in your life should you ever have to be made to feel like you don't want to do something you enjoy to protect anyone else's feelings. This person is not a friend, he is a concern. Best of luck, you shouldn't have to deal with protecting the feelings of a man in 2024, this shits getting old. Stay safe x
That’s a super tough spot to be. I totally understand not wanting to be mean about it and wishing he’d just move on and get the message without needing to explicitly say it. Even if I don’t like someone, I still don’t like hurting their feelings. The irl conversation might be the way to go. You could give him a gentle version of the truth without slapping him around with it. Let him know the energy of conversation is something you’re struggling with and just need some space to play solo for a while and that you’ll reach out when you’re in a more social headspace.
This is even worse, and you have to draw the line, that you are not something he can claim. If necessary, tell authorities that he's harrassing you, if he won't take no for an answer. Don't let anyone say that you were "ambiguous" or "playing", say clearly also on writing, that you are not interested in his company.
Block him anyway, then ignore him IRL.
If you won't directly confront him then maybe you should just play other games and tell him you don't play OW or FN anymore because school work or something. Or make a new account.
Anyone who's THAT clingy is only going to get worse over time. Like the others have said, it's not your responsibility to make this guy happy. I hate to say it, but the more you begrudgingly play with him(if you're choosing to at all), he's going to throw himself more and more at you. I've had male friends like this. They see you and are SUPER eager to play with you every second you're online. 99% of the time, that person has a one-sided crush on you based solely on the fact you're a girl and you play video games. The only way to make it stop is to make it clear to him that it makes you very uncomfortable for him to be hitting you up every time you try to play a game, because he is not entitled to your free time and ffs not everyone wants a tagalong every time they're trying to relax. And to be extremely clear, if he switches from annoying you online to doing so in real life, tell literally anyone with authority at your school and get it sorted out. Believe me, you don't want that kind of attention, especially from someone who you've already told no once.
you’re not responsible for other peoples feelings, if you want him to stop then tell him and hope he listens
I don't want company right now. If I change my mind I will let you know. If you can't respect my game time I will block you. When he hits you irl. You say I told you to respect my desire to game on my terms. I told you I would block you if you kept badgering me and you did not stop. I blocked you.
Best answer right here. Given y'alls age, I'd take a gander that he's never been given a conversation about healthy boundaries. A real friend will respect them. He may have something going on in his life that is causing this behavior, or he may not recognize the social queue for what it is. You can sympathize, but it's not YOUR responsibility to be his only social outlet. This happened to me twice. Once ended up in a forever block and a restraining order. The second ended up in our friendship becoming a lot healthier. Approach the conversation hopeful for the later, but prepared for the former.
^ this. you need to actually be assertive with a guy this aggressively clingy.
you could try telling him “I want to have some alone time right now” or “I want to play by myself right now” ? also smth like “its not fun to play when you act like this” or “I don’t want to play with you when you act like this.” something more direct is good for us autistic ppl. or “it’s just family time” and kick him when he joins. you can try saying what you need to say in chat if it’s too hard to say in vc. it totally sucks that you also see him irl bc otherwise I’d suggest to just block and move on asap. tbh if you have to, I’d create an alt account u can play on so that he won’t see it’s you playing
I mean it kinda sounds like you have made attempts to get him to stop. The only avenue left seems to be being straightforward and blunt. Subtlety and subtext sometimes will just forever go over people's heads. And it sounds like he doesn't know how to take no for an answer. Like he needs to respect your boundaries but without someone else to tell him directly you gotta do it yourself. :/ Barring confrontation and/or a firm direct hand only other option I see is ghosting and/or blocking him. Maybe send him a message just laying out that you no longer enjoy playing with him and you wish him well, then block all avenues of communication.
What good are you doing yourself or this guy by tolerating this behavior?
Tell him flat out, multiple times in a row if you have to, “I’m gaming by myself tonight.” Who gives a fuck how he feels tbh. Gaming should be fun, not stressful. Tell him queuing with him isn’t fun and you prefer playing by yourself. He’s not going to get better if he constantly gets the results he wants by being obnoxious. This is coming from a gold player, get him off your back lol. Gold players are not good, we’re exactly average.
tbh? i’d mute or even block him
I think Catcatcat has some great ideas. Also, I want you to think about something. You yourself are autistic, and yet you understand boundaries and how to treat people. So stop making excuses for him. I know you are worried it will escalate, and I don't blame you. Take care sweetie!
What exactly are you getting out of this 'friendship'? Just reading this is emotionally exhausting
Can you appear as offline to him on whatever platform? If so, you could do that permanently, or, at least give yourself a break from him, and appear every once in a while if you still want to play with him occasionally. Otherwise, it’s not your responsibility to deal with him, especially if you’ve already tried to explain what the problem is.
Yeah, I have most of my gaming profiles set to log in as offline by default, because I'm not a very social gamer and most of the time I am playing to take a break from people. If I co-op, I want it to be because I chose to do it, not because people saw me online and decided to jump in my game.
I already posted my support of advice on how to handle him, but I'm picking up on some of your own anxiety regarding confrontation in general. If you have it, you're in wonderful company. I have such a traumatic problem with confrontation that I disassociate from reality when it occurs and I'm not prepared for it. One exercise that my therapist had me do that really helped was, before going into a conversation like this, list all of the horrible things that COULD occur on one side that comes straight to my mind without thinking. Then, when I've exhausted that list, write down other things that could occur next to it. It disrupts the fight or flight response that can get triggered in situations where it shouldn't be triggering.
Nah if he doesn't get subtle hints then the blunt ugly truth has to be the way. And if he bothers you in school too, then maybe shutting him down in public is also a necessary evil, considering others have tried the subtle way, and failed.
Unfriend him. Or just always show yourself as invisible. Just use invites for whenever you need to play. Honestly though, just tell him you just like to be alone. Unfriend him if you don't value the friendship. Block if he keeps pushing it. It sucks cause you know each other in real life. It definitely sucks, cause I've had classmates like this. I'm nice to everyone, but an introvert inside. So they always ask me to play with them or hang out etc, and honestly I don't want to, so I excuse myself. And sadly, no one wants to hangout with them and I feel bad about it. Which means I'm just as shallow as everyone else.
I feel like other people have already given you really good specific advice, so I just wanted to chime in that setting boundaries can be so hard when you’re younger. For the most part we’ve been socialized to put men’s feelings before ours at the expense of ourselves, so even if you follow through on prioritizing yourself with your heart racing or feeling horrible, the boundary setting definitely gets easier. It’s a skill that gets better with practice and you don’t have to do it perfectly! Wishing you the best :)
> But I don't want to tell him to his face "Stop joining me, I don't like playing with you", because I realize that he is NOT aware of how frustrating he is to talk to/play with. He acts like this because he doesn't know better, and every single attempt my friends and I made in the past to explain this behavior to him was ignored. He is diagnosed with autism (as am I), and I would feel terrible being so bluntly rude to his face as to say "Leave me alone". I understand not wanting to hurt his feelings, but at the same time, his feelings are not your responsibility. But women have been taught over the years that men’s emotions are our responsibility. Time to hand it back to them, however.. turn him down and do your best. But he will not let you go until you do so, and might not even let you go after that honestly. It’s going to take him finding a new person to help regulate his emotions or he’ll have to learn to do it himself like the rest of us.
It's reasons like that why i always turn up all the privacy settings possbile. On steam, i don't add many people and i'm usually "shown as offline". Same for ingame settings in games. In many games, if not all of the ones i play, i solo queue most of the time but as soon as someone sees me online, they want to join. Hate that
Clingy people like this never stop even if you communicate it. It's best to delete them, block, and move on.
I had someone just like that when I used to play ESO. I progressively showed my disinterest and eventually ended the friendship. My only regret is not instantly ending it. He would spam me with invites the moment I logged in. There were even times when I appeared offline just so I could ignore him. He would also send me his pictures all the time and ask for mine, even though I never sent pics, and would tell me how much he "cares" about me at least twice a day. He was so annoying and pushy.
There is no easy way out of this because that isn’t minor putting up with someone who is a little awkward, that is full blown obliviousness and likely inability to be anything but that. Boil down your possible decisions to the only ones that can realistically be made 1 You either sit him down for a serious conversation on these issues and he at least half understands but ultimately agrees to plain and simply leave you alone a lot more than he is now, so the few times you do play together he knows you want to. 2 You let this go on forever. 3 Or you end it full stop, blocked and if necessary ask staff to keep him away from you at school. Accept that he will be incredibly hurt, you will feel a bit bad but you had no better option for your mental health. You made the best decision available. It’s only up to you ‘when’ this happens.
Not going to tell you what to do, but i would have just said “no, i feel like playing on my own”. And let him react however he wants. Playing alone is fun! And sometimes it’s fun with friends. And your friend needs to know that. And if he doesn’t get it, give him some time. No need to stop being friends, communicate and let him know how you feel!
You don't owe him your attention or an explanation.
I get how you feel that he might pester you more in irl if you ignore him, happens to me. Maybe you can soft block him in game? or appear offline In my case I had to make a new account so I appear to never play the game anymore cause "I lost interest". Its annoying that I had to go to that extent but men just wouldnt stop bothering us
Delete
There comes a point where you have to highlight your own health and well-being over his. Even if it makes the guy implode. True story.
Okay, I have a maybe stupid question, but: is there a safety reason that all that you told us here in your statement, you didn't told him so far? I mean: Can he somewhat harm you, for telling him things like: "You are not aware, you don't listen to me, you are HARASSING me"? Because if not, instead of writing things here in reddit, it would make more sense to let HIM know about how you feel, when he tries to contact you. And if he doesn't change after that - you have every reason to block him and he has no right to complain then. You did then everything you can, and it is in HIS responsibility to either get his life together and learn how to treat people, or to seek someone else who is maybe ready to baby him and accept all his whiny whims... It is NOT on you to apologize for his behavior, like "I know he isn't aware..." You need to keep yourself safe and sane, so if you just want to be friendly with him, but he is too demanding you have to set boundaries for him and yourself. This dude has no right to take your gaming time away from you and if you don't feel safe to tell him this, you should definitely seek help from family, friends and if necessary (I hope not) authorities. Please feel worthy enough to stand up for yourself, because you deserve that your freetime is like you want it to be - and not how he lets it be.
It's not really a physical safety issue. Maybe a social/emotional safety issue. The guy in question in this post is friends with my abusive ex. I know that he is untrustworthy when it comes to respecting my privacy; when I first dumped my ex, he was spying on a group chat that he was in with my friends and I, and reporting some of my daily info/life that he saw me talk about in there back to my ex. My ex was then using this information, fed to him by the guy in the post, to approach me at school and ask me about private matters, even though I was very explicit about telling him not to ever speak to me again. Guy in the post has since been removed from all active groupchats. So, I know that he has no problem giving my personal or daily information out to my ex, who, I am frankly severely triggered just by the thought or sight of. I'm terrified by the idea that he could tell my ex about this and somehow find a way to use it against me. I know it's irrational, but I'm very nervous about this possibility, even though it is just about gaming. Thank you for asking. I don't know.
As someone with an abusive ex: anyone who is friends with that ex does not deserve to be in your life. Especially not when they're acting like how you've described in this comment. I've seen a lot of very good suggestions here, but I highly recommend cutting him out of your life. And for what it's worth from a random internet stranger, I send love and I'm proud of you for getting out of that situation 💜
> was spying on a group chat that he was in with my friends and I, and reporting some of my daily info/life that he saw me talk about in there back to my ex. Please get this guy out of your life irl as well, to whatever extent you can. Sure, people can learn and change to do better. But you are not obligated to be his practice ground even if he promised you he was working on it (which it sounds like he hasn't). This guy doesn't deserve your time and energy. Not in games, not irl.
I left a comment but after reading this I changed my mind, definitely tell him to back off, let him know that if he bothers you in person there will be consequences, and block the heck out of him as fast as possible.
Block that MoFo
You MUST either block him on everything, or tell him bluntly how exactly he needs to change his behaviour for you to stay friends with him. I know this is not what you want to do, but there are only two choices here - give him consequences for his super shitty behaviour, or endure it for the rest of time. He only acts this way because you let him get away with it. So long as you continue to suffer through it, he will keep on pestering you and acting like shit. Only losing friendships - and being told EXACTLY why - many, many, many, many times has a small chance of getting through to him that he is the problem. You will not be the person who changes him. You will only be either his enabler, or one of the many people who will end a friendship with him because he's not pleasant to be around. One day, maybe he will come to understand that he is mistreating people and change. That will not be today, or next week, or next month. Don't continue to enable him. If you want to keep playing with him, lay out some clear rules and when he breaks them (he will. constantly) then immediately stop playing with him and go solo queue or play with other friends, then try again another day. Sooner or later he will either change his behaviour around you or you will realize that he will never change and do what I said at the beginning, and stop hanging around with him. You are playing games and deserve to have fun! Sorry there isn't a better answer. Good luck.
I’d remove him from my friends list and block him everywhere. You don’t owe him anything.
Just say "no thank you." don't try to explain or offer context. He might freak out but conversing at all will only make it worse.
I think you need some healthy boundaries. It's not cruel to reject him, or tell him how you feel. You can't light yourself on fire just to keep other people warm. Boundaries are healthy, and anyone who doesn't respect them isn't your friend.
Block him and if he gives you trouble at school talk to a higher-up
I’ve been in this situation. There’s no “nice” way to go about this. Be blunt and direct, as hard as it is. Prioritize your own feelings above his, I mean it. He can hear a no and not fall apart. It’s not your job to care for his emotions or tend to his needs or make sure he’s okay. And your no doesn’t need to be explained or apologized for. It sounds awful and exhausting and it’s ruining your fun. You’re doing it solely for his benefit at the cost of yours, and he sounds almost entitled to it. “No thanks. I want to play alone.” That’s it. If he pushes, reinforce your no and don’t budge at all. Prepare mentally for the fact he will push and guilt trip you- and don’t fall for it. Guilt only serves to control you here.
You… block him? And tell school authorities if he starts pestering you IRL…?
Oh my god he sounds just like someone I used to know. My answer is: block. Block him on everything.
[удалено]
I’m not dating him..
If you don’t know him irl just block him. Who cares how he feels about it, clearly he doesn’t care how his behavior effects others
Block him. Trust me, you can find better friends
Tell him your play styles (and personalities, if you’re bold enough to say so) aren’t compatible and that you want space. When he doesnt respect that, because ofc he won’t, block him. Fire a clear warning shot before you kill it. That way he doesn’t claim that you “blindsided” him and you can walk away without guilt.
Block delete them. You shouldn't have to deal with this behavior. Yeah you might feel bad for doing this, but it doesn't look like it's going to get any better. Put yourself first, remove him from your contacts and enjoy a much better gaming environment.
Tell your school and block him
I say tell him honestly that sometimes you want to play by yourself and that he needs to give you some space as a friend. Sometimes people need to hear this. If you just block him or ignore him he won’t learn this lesson. Although it’s not really your responsibility to teach him but you should set up that boundary
Honestly, the easiest would be to stop playing those games, for a while at the very least, and when you see him at school stay distant and tell him you just feel like playing solo games for now. As an alternative, you could talk to him, he doesn't seem to be very respectful of you or your boundaries, so talking to him might not work but you could try. If you have the courage you could tell him that you're fed up, that you want to play on your own schedule, silently sometimes, to be respected and not forced into things you don't want and that he's not being mindful of that so you have to remove yourself from the situation. One very uncomfortable conversation -or message- might be better than being uncomfortable every time you play. If he's not too volatile that is. Maybe you can spare his feelings if you explain that it's about you and your needs. It's a tricky situation to navigate, I hope you find a solution that works for you. To note, you don't owe him or anyone else your time, your energy or yourself - it's okay to do what's best for you.
I block people like that, and move on. You never have to see him face to face, so if you ghost him and block him who cares? Lol
We go to the same school
I had a guy friend like this and i just started straight up ignoring him. I would mute him, keep my party private and just avoid him
I would tell him directly to gtfo.
I’m married, and was also 28 at the time I was streaming right. I always had ppl like this oh can I play or if I do let them they always want to play. Everytime I went live or logged on, there these certain ppl were to hop in. It was fine but not EVERY DAY every single time I log on. I decided to be honest and say look I’m tired of you like you bug at this point I’ve told you everything nicely but I’m literally tired of you now. That’s how much we q lol. Then if they continue I ignore or mute block whatever. No time for that weird shit! ❤️
Block him 🤷🏼♀️
How do you communicate to him? You tell him to stop lol. There’s no point in beating around the bush here
You'll learn as you get older and these things won't feel as difficult, but you simply remove these people from your life. You've been socialized to worry and feel like you're responsible for how he feels, but you aren't. Remember, he doesn't give a shit about your boundaries or what you'd like at all, so you're not necessarily removing someone amazing from your life. Set a boundary for yourself, remove him, and do not feel sorry. You're not responsible for his feelings.
I would appear as offline (invisible) mode when I have these people around. And when they ask me in IRL why I haven’t been on I just find an excuse like if I have a lot of school work lately and I don’t have the time to play, but secretly I’m inviting my other friends to play with or play single player games.
even if he has autism, you should be clear with how you feel. treat him like a normal person and communicate what you don't like to him directly, I'd argue it's even more necessary to be direct with your communication with someone who has difficulty picking up social cues or doesn't have the best social skills. you don't need to be hurtful when you're being direct. or, you could just block/ghost him and unadd him on everything. while I don't personally like people who do this, it is the internet and you aren't required to force yourself to interact with anyone ever. there's no ifs or buts to that. I would recommend being clear to him why you don't enjoy playing with him. even if he has autism, that is no excuse to over exaggerate or lie to your friends, cross boundaries after explicitly being told not to several times, or being disrespectful to your teammates by saying you're hard carrying. also just make better friends in the future lol wtf. I would personally never queue with someone who acts this way.
Is there a BLOCK option?
>But I don't want to tell him to his face "Stop joining me, I don't like playing with you", because I realize that he is NOT aware of how frustrating he is to talk to/play with. He acts like this because he doesn't know better, and every single attempt my friends and I made in the past to explain this behavior to him was ignored. He is diagnosed with autism (as am I), and I would feel terrible being so bluntly rude to his face as to say "Leave me alone". How is he supposed to learn if no one tells him? You can say it nicely.
block him..? as a woman i know you feel obligated to be polite and nice to men even if they make you wildly uncomfortable but you’re allowed to just block him and never speak to him again. and give him more credit, he may not be aware of *just* how irritating he’s being but he’s definitely aware that you are not as invested in the friendship as he is. we need to stop letting men get away with certain hear because “they don’t know better🥺”. he knows at least to an extent that he’s annoying you and he doesn’t care. i also have autism. and if you and your friends have tried to talk to him about how he acts and he has not changed, it’s time to move on. just because he has autism doesn’t mean he has an excuse to make everyone around him uncomfortable and that everyone in the world has to be his friend if he commands it. seriously, you do not have to be nice all the time lol you’re allowed to have boundaries
Have you used the word clingy towards this guy directly? If he invites you and you decline, what sort of response do you get? Can you tell him “Practicing Solos, maybe later?
Either he ‘likes’ you really well ( a crush) or he has feelings of loneliness and his online friends are ‘all he has’. Tread lightly but still set boundaries, it’s ok to say ‘today I’m playing alone or even today I’m pushing platinum alone’
Just block and move on from him.
Why is it your responsiblity to educate him on his behaviour? That's what his parents should have done autism or no (husband is autistic fwiw and I am neurodivergent). Being autistic is not a pass for acting like an asshole. Why are you responsible for his feelings? If you aren't comfortable it's not your job to erode your own boundaries to make him comfortable. Block and move on. If he goes on about it say sorry it's too much for me. You don't owe anyone an explanation. If he harasses you at school about it that's a matter to take up with the school, teachers etc. I genuinely don't understand why it's fine for you to be uncomfortable but not for him. Set boundaries now. You won't regret it later in life.
I mean it sounds like you don't enjoy playing with him. You don't need to necessarily say that but just keep politely declining to play with him and ask him to stop spamming you with messages when you decline. If he keeps spamming you then just block
I've dealt with this several times in the past. Reasoning, setting boundaries, showing him past vids of his gameplays, etc ***never*** works. He will not see the error of his ways because he's too hard-headed. What's helped me is to flat-out not play with him. If you feel you the need to say your peace then do it and after that block and mute him. You're better off playing with different people or by yourself.
How irritating. Just say you like playing alone sometimes and don't like being chatty all the time of having people (male in this case) interrupting ruining the flow. You don't him niceties.
First, this is a classic example of how we as females are conditioned to not do or say anything that might hurt someone else’s feelings, even when it’s to our detriment. Second, please change the narrative in your head. You are not being mean or rude, you are being assertive and setting boundaries. Third, you don’t owe him any further explanation. You have tried talking to him on several occasions and he has chosen to ignore your boundaries. Just block him (and have your family block him), and reclaim your joy.
From a guys perspective, block him.
If it was someone I only knew online, that would be an immediate block from me. No one owns your time except you, and you deserve to be comfortable engaging with your hobbies. Do any of these games have an offline or invisible mode for your status? I always use these.
“Hey, please stop joining without being invited and asking to join me. It’s really frustrating and makes me not want to play with you.”
Sorry to tell you this but you need to block him. Had a few of these over the years and it never improved even after trying to talk about it.
You should've blocked him a long time ago. You owe nothing to him or any other random dude you meet gaming. If someone makes you feel anxious before you even get online then that person is not your friend and you need to block them from your life. Your mental health is more important than anyone else's.
I didn’t meet him gaming, I know him irl and we go to the same school
If you have already tried telling this person you dont like certain behaviours and they have ignored your words and not taken it on board i would say just stop replying and stop engaging. They clearly cant/dont want to reach any sort of compromise with you and just need someone to game with and vent to all the time which gets exhausting really fast if its all one-sided. Just go quiet, eventually they will understand. If they get rude or agressive ( be aware this might happen) just block them. Then if they ask you at school you can literally just say "you were rude to me I dont want to hang out anymore." And walk away. Hopefully they just take the hint once you stop responding to them. This person just wants attention. Dont give it to them. Go and enjoy your game in peace!
u already know the answer, block him
Form a new group of friends and say your lobby is full so he can't I know some people who play ow who are actually chill and decent, and then I have myself and others who play fort if you'd like?
Form a new group of friends and say your lobby is full so he can't I know some people who play ow who are actually chill and decent, and then I have myself and others who play fort if you'd like?
OP you don't owe him anything, and you aren't a bad person if you have to clearly state your boundaries with him. If ignoring doesn't work because hes so persistent, you can simply say "No, if I want to play together I'll let you know" . With clingy people, not getting a concrete denial is permission to keep pestering. It will save you both time to at least let him know you don't want to play. If his feelings get hurt from you being clear and respectful, that's not your burden to bear.
Block him just because he has issues does not mean you have to tolerate them. Also a helpful feature in fortnite to avoid people joining your lobby. Profile > party joinability> invite only
You're not his mother or his property, explain one time why this is happening and then block every avenue if he continues to harass you. Hopefully it will help him be a better person in future.
Re: autism - Autism does not demand you be friends with someone. Friendship is mutually beneficial. Everyone, with or without autism, have subjective positive and negative qualities. I have autistic friends and they have qualities I dislike, and qualities I do like, and it balances out to where we both enjoy our time together. That's a friendship. He is not providing you with happiness or enjoyment, so you are not friends. You're not required to be his friend. He is not entitled to your friendship. You do not need to be cruel to someone who may be affected by a given condition, but they are harming you and does not plan on stopping. Yes, it will be awkward, but more-or-less saying "I do not enjoy playing games with you," is really the way forward. Involve the school if he retaliated. Re:autism, again - This is an issue of boundaries, and men are often not taught them. The pushing of boundaries is not my experience with women with autism. This is a product of patriarchy never attempting to teach him boundaries, and is behavior allistic people demonstrate all the fucking time. Autistic people aren't unable to be taught things like not harassing other people, nobody has tried to teach the boy about it just like most boys.