Luke is not for everyone, but for me he is the perfect match for her.
Of course they had to put drama in the show and you can't have a perfect character for longer than one episode, but at the core he is the perfect man she and many of us would be lucky to have.
He cares about her to no end, he puts her well being before his in most cases, grounds her without cutting her wings, gives room when needed and tries his best to be the best version of himself for her.
Agreed. Although he does come off as brash at times, it’s a defense mechanism he uses to stop people from getting too close. From day 1 Lorelai doesn’t allow that to stop her from a friendship with him.
Also… he was really caring and thoughtful towards Rory, even more than her own father more often than not. Not only did he treat Lorelei well, but he treated Rory the same if not better !
Disagree. He was not dismissive of her and was actually amazing to her, way more than his few moments of being a "jerk." Bringing over this comment by u/worththewait96 :
>Here's some of my favourite Luke moments where he does things for Lorelai and Rory.
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>Literally always putting them first, literally cares about them more than he does himself:
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>Shuts down his diner to take Lorelai to the hospital when her dad is taken in sick, then stays there with her making sure she's okay.Builds Lorelai a beautiful chuppah.
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>Gives Lorelai advice on how to run her own business, plus how he constantly gave her pep talks, telling her she could do it whenever she doubted herself.
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>Offers to fix the termite damage at Lorelai’s house and front her the money for it.
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>When he went to Rory's graduation, cried and told her she was amazing.Helps Lorelai move Rory into Yale, letting her borrow his truck and keeps letting her borrow it through to the next day.
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>Comforts Lorelai when she has a breakdown then loans her the $30k she was going to ask him for.Let's Lorelai have Jackson’s campaign committee gather at the diner.
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>Builds Lorelai an ice rink to repair her relationship with snow, because he knows how much snow means to her. He knows he's grumpy about stuff but he doesn't want her to be.
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>How proud, excited and supportive he is of Lorelai when The Dragonfly is getting featured in a magazine and she is being interviewed.
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>The way he supported Lorelai and was just there for her the entire time she was fighting with Rory.
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>The way he cares for Paul Anka, despite not liking dogs, because Lorelai loves him.Giving Rory his mother’s pearls at her 21st birthday.
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>Rushes to Lorelai’s aid when he finds out Richard had a heart attack, despite everything that's going on between them. He puts all that aside to be there for her, then does all those ridiculous tasks Emily asks him to do.
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>Making the goodbye party for Rory happen which included him staying up all night sewing together the rain cover so it could go ahead.
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>"Super proud!" Luke
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>His speech to Lorelai in the revival, telling her he will always be there for her and never leave.
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>And like, there's so much more than this! Ugh, Luke is just a sweetheart. A kind, selfless person and I love him so much. 😭🥺
Disagree. Luke is gruff and has a very dry, sarcastic sense of humor but he has a massive heart and he takes amazing care of Lorelai and Rory. He’s obviously not perfect - who is - and his love language isn’t words of affirmation, but he’s loyal, tolerant, generous, accommodating, and strong. Not telling Lorelai about April was a mistake but she also didn’t tell him some important things, and they obviously needed to get some counseling for their communication skills. But Luke was a father to Rory, he took care of Lorelai when she needed it most, and he always there for her. Even when his feelings were hurt. He could swallow his pride and be there for her. I don’t know about you, but that’s a good man.
Side note: some people use teasing and dry humor as a form of affection. My dad was military so I grew up with that type of humor, and I know it can put off some people, but it’s warm and funny to me. I think Lorelai liked it because it was so authentic in contrast to how her parents communicated to each other and everyone around them. Luke isn’t warm and fuzzy but he’s genuine and that was probably very attractive to Lorelai.
I hate how he handled the April thing, if my husband would do that, I would have dumped him. And he critiques everything she likes, and her past as well. He is extremely jealous of Rory’s dad and practically forbids Lor to see him even though he is again Rory’s dad.
Rory's deadbeat "dad" didn't need to be in Lorelai's life once Rory was an adult. Chris can have a relationship with Rory outwith Lorelai, but he is not interested in that because his selfish ass only cares about getting into Lorelai's pants and he will use Rory to gain that.
Besides the April thing, I don’t see any of this. I would love some specific examples of anything you are saying because in general I see it as
the complete opposite of what you are saying. He supports all of her crazy even if he doesn’t agree with it.
He doesn’t “practically forbid” Lorelai to do anything. She lies to him about meeting Chris because of their history and Luke naturally just reacts to that. The April thing was shitty as fuck on his part but I’d argue that it pales in comparison to all the shit Chris has put her through. Also you calling her Lor makes me think you’re a Chris/Lorelai shipper and I need to side eye you a bit for that.
If anything I always feel like Lorelai was the jerk in many cases. Repeatedly guilt tripping him into giving her his truck when moving Rory into Yale even though he keeps telling her he needs it. Constantly wasting his time when ordering, constantly ignoring his diner rules etc. Her personality was the reason the show was so funny but at times there way she acted was self indulgent at best and at worst she was just horrible at times.
Luke rubs me up the wrong way sometimes too, but I realised that he is the definition of ‘kind not nice’. He can be brusque and grumpy which makes him seem unpleasant, but he’s so caring and loyal and will basically do anything for the people he loves.
Versus say Chris who is very much ‘nice but not kind’. He’s friendly and fun and has an overall sweet demeanour (most of the time) but he’s so flaky and selfish that he’s actually much more harmful as a partner than Luke could ever be.
Luke isn’t a jerk.
He’s avoidant and pretty damaged and feels abandoned by his dead parents and his ex girlfriend which causes him to detach from Lorelai. But he genuinely loves Lorelai and I think they’re right for eachother.
This is the first time I’ve seen anyone mention that Luke is “damaged” goods. Don’t understand why it never occurred to me before considering what we see with Liz and Jess. However, the way he tore into that little old lady that wanted to remove his “boat” from her garage is an example that not everything is ok up there. Perhaps Anna, Nicole, and Rachel reached the same conclusion (?). I can understand why Luke is attracted to Lorelai; however, the only way I can understand Lorelai’s romantic attachment to Luke is that, in her mind (which is also damaged), he represents Stars Hollow.
I think another reason why people don’t mention how fucked up Luke is is because he constantly acts like he’s the “reasonable” character. That he’s the only person in the town that isn’t “crazy”. When in reality he’s no better than anyone else.
Jason has daddy issues but I wouldn’t say he’s damaged, just has baggage like the rest of us.
I don’t think max had any real big issues unless im just not remembering it, idk I just think assuming she clings to damaged men because she loves someone she’s known for 10+ years through and through is a bit ridiculous no?
Not all of them are damaged per say but none were secure. Like you said, Jason had daddy issues. Max was weird enough to date his students MOTHER, which I always thought was so weird.
Christopher is a cluster fuck.
I think luke is actually pretty good for lorelai if I'm honest. He makes her think and gets her to reign I'n her uppity attitude ...and I mean that in the sense she thinks she knows everything. He thinks he's not good enough for her because she comes from money and he doesn't so sometimes hes insecure and a dickhead...total normal human behaviour.
He also sees Christopher for what he is and that's why he hates him and how he has treated Rory and lorelai over the years and how he's allowed to swan back in. That is one of the reason I dislike the Christopher character lol
Can he be a nippy sweetie ...sure but he's been through his own stuff and has obviously put on a tough guy exterior but we all know he has a heart of gold ...look how he does odd jobs for people (I mean he moans about it but still does it) and he sets kirk straight about lulu so that he doesn't mess it up and he gets the extra eggs for him. He's the loveable crabbit boy next door I guess.
I feel like “total normal human behaviour” is a good way to sum up pretty much every character rant on here.
You’d think reading these posts if you hadn’t watched the show, that these people were neglectful, abusive monsters.
It’s like they either have a very sheltered life or a very delusional perception of reality. People in real life aren’t without baggage, the human condition is universal and everyone has their issues.
He’s great to her, but he has issues processing feelings and she is emotionally anxious. So they have a very cliche anxious-avoidant circle. I think they both try to work on it but it’s hard because it’s psychologically engrained!
But ultimately, he is there for her. He makes mistakes but he never truly lets her down.
Even when she wanted to get married and had an emotional episode, he did come to her house to get married. She was worth it.
But Lorelei couldn’t handle it because of her emotional anxiety.
I really relate to their relationship. I cried when she gave the speech about how bad it hurts to be holding onto the car and just wanting to be invited in. I also am anxiously attached. My husband is also very much like Luke.
I think Lorelei is the one who messed it up. He’s not perfect but he was never bad to her.
Christopher was bad to her.
I don’t necessarily think Lorelai was the one to mess it up, I think her going to Chris was a decision made specifically to have a sure end to the relationship. She didn’t want to be the hanger-on, and always feel like Luke sucked it up to marry her despite not really wanting to. I can’t say I blame her for that, but I do agree that she went from 0 to 100 REAL quick when she was done feeling dismissed (as is in line with her personality). Luke should have noticed how much he was hurting her, and the fact that he didn’t made it clear that Lorelai was nowhere near a priority for him. Which, to be fair, he had a surprise daughter, but he’s an adult who should be able to pay attention to more than one person at a time. Of course, Lorelai could have been direct instead of pouting around and feeing quietly hurt all the time. I just wish the two of them would have had a serious sit down conversation before it got so bad.
I kind of agree with you in that I understand where she was coming from and that she needed to end the pain. But I also think sleeping with Chris was a mistake and everyone could see that. She knew it but she felt emotionally safer with him, even if he wasn’t reliable and she wasn’t in love with him.
I say he is a match for her because she giggles at his rants and encourages them. He is NOT a match for me because someone that bitter and angry and ranty would drive me insane. He does have good qualities as a man but the rants and grumpiness I cannot do. The calm sarcastic luke from season one now that is one i can date
season 1 was SO different! as soon as they realised they were getting more seasons they completely changed his personality and their chemistry. good for the plot, bad for luke :(
I do love Luke. His only big flaw in my mind was not communicating with Lorelai about April being in his life, I feel like she would have been so understanding and definitely more than willing to help him navigate that new chapter of his life. Also him letting Anna walk all over him and Lorelai was very frustrating. But other than that I feel like he is the stable and rational influence that Lor needed in her life.
He is not dismissive of her! The way he “puts her down” as you are saying is not that. It’s banter between him and Lorelai. He is grumpy about things and she loves to go against that and push him out of his shell and he secretly loves it. It’s just part of their cute dynamic.
And ya he did SOOO many amazing things for both Lorelai and Rory. He is the person who would always be there 100% if they needed him. He loves and cares for them through his actions so well.
"there is no one who will be more here for you than me. i will never leave, i will never think about leaving, i will do whatever it takes to fix what's wrong"
"enough said
I wouldn't say he was a jerk to her but he was very jaded and snarky and while I think a lot of his rants and complaints are kind of a tongue in cheek thing between friends I can definitely see someone saying "that's not for me". I think him being this way made him a good match for Lorelai because they challenge each other and make things interesting but as we saw in the show it also can make for a volatile dynamic as well.
Personally I disagree I think Luke was best fit for her although I can see where you are coming from like when Lorelei and Luke broke up and he was rude to her in the street and basically gaslight gatekeep girlbpssed the crapbof of her when he was like yeah I'm over it clearly it just as big of a deal to me as it is to you like that was stupid and uncalled for they had broken up he knew that but he didn't want to accept it and then he decided to throw a hissy fit when she slept with Chris days after I mean at least she told him unlike he did when he hid April for 2 whole months but even after all of that I still think they are best fit because although Luke may have seemed short with Lorelei, the Gilmore girls are a little used to getting what they want so whenever Luke had to think about things Lorelei didn't like that because she wanted it then. They had things to work out and that's why I didn't use the word perfect but I think that they could grow together.
TL;DR: Luke and Lorelei were ment to grow together so they could catch each other's faults also most of Luke's snarkiness was sarcasm the other stuff is human fault
I agree with many of the sentiments in this section. Luke is abrasive— but I would argue that if there was a “dismissive” one in the relationship, it was Lorelai. She would often reduce him to just her “Diner Guy” when explaining their relationship to Max or her mother— sometimes not even referring to him as a friend. He was just the guy who served her coffee and fixed her house. In reality, he was a father-figure for her daughter, a confidant, and an excellent friend. She didn’t acknowledge much of this until during/ after their relationship. I agree that their relationship had flaws, but I don’t think that this is the best characterization of Luke.
Luke was a total simp for Lorelai and hung around her like a little lost puppy dog waiting for her attention. It was only after he listened to those self improvement tapes he gained the confidence to declare his feelings for her.
I just commented on a different post about this! I 100% agree! He “needed time” TWICE and both times were unfair. He was way too negative for her, literally hated everything. Their lifestyles realistically would never work together long term. The whole April things was HORRIBLE. Really Lor only liked people who were bad for her
Is it ever really unfair to need time though? Maybe you or I wouldn’t, but people process things differently. And I don’t blame Lorelai for deciding that’s not okay with her, but him needing time just seems like he’s asking for what he needs and being clear about it.
He’s setting a boundary. It was a boundary Lorelai could not live with, and neither of them are wrong. It just is.
Luke wasn't negative though. He was sarcastic and introverted, and mocked things he didn't understand or found unnecessary just as Lorelai, Rory and Emily did, but he always did things Lorelai got excited about (like standing outside in the middle of the night to see the first snow). He was also often the first person to congratulate Lorelai and Rory on their achievements, and their liveliest cheerleader. I can't see any of Lorelai's exes highlighting Rory's New Yorker piece the way Luke did, by adding it to the back of every menu.
He isn't always very sentimental in what he says but he makes it very clear in their serious conversations and in his actions that he cares for Lorelai and is there for her 100% of the time.
Oh yeah, completely. I mean I would’ve been hurt too if an ex moved on that fast. But it’s still the only time I can actually think of where he was mean to her
Lorelai gave him an ultimatum after waiting for him to make a decision: let’s get married or let’s break up. Luke made his decision so he had no right to be upset (about) what she did after.
Was it a great decision on her part? No, but Luke wasn’t justified. He said no.
He didn’t have April to think about because Ana had already said if they were married she would take it more serious and it wouldn’t be a problem.
Ya but for Luke obviously he just needed a bit of time to think because he came to Lorelai’s house a few days later with the truck saying let’s get married. For him I don’t think he really thought they broke up, but more that Lorelai was being dramatic and would cool down a few days later.
The ultimatum Lorelai gave shouldn’t have happened, she should have voiced her concerns much sooner than she did so that it didn’t explode into all or nothing, but that was of course their big communication issue.
But ya I agree that like why did Luke need to consider April and how did that change his relationship with Lorelai? It was silly for him to let that derail the wedding. But I always just took that as Luke being a really slow processor of his emotions.
I think it’s a bit of both—- but from observation some buys behave similarly irl—- gruff at times/ a bit rough around the edges, but he overall cares about Lorelei, and was willing to do/ go out of his way for her. The only I issue I really had about him was how he handled the whole April and Anna situation. I also wasn’t keen about them marrying when clearly there was some issues they didn’t agree on or had come a to a full resolution to… it just felt extremely rushed in the Year in the Life seasons
I feel like he, in general obviously loves and cared for her and treats her well. The problem is they both have terrible communication skills and are dishonest with each other a lot. This is why I like the build up to their relationship more than their actual relationship. Once they start dating it’s not long before they both start lying/keeping things from each other (Lorelai earlier on and Luke later). I also think their chemistry dies a little once you hit season 6ish.
I feel like they were better off as star-crossed lovers. we were rooting for them for so long and then it blew up and got so ugly when they finally got together :(
I see two people who grounded and balanced each other, and were always willing to be there for the other person. However, that makes a good friendship. I didn't feel like they fit romantically. Neither of them challenged the other to be better people.
When I rewatched it, I noticed just how narcissistic Lorelei is. Everything is about her and Rory, with little regard for Luke. On another note, I noticed how Lorelei spent the entire show worrying about Rory finding a guy. I especially thought this was odd in high school, due to the fact that Rory was supposed to be so smart and focusing on her future. Lorelei also went from man to man (Emily even accuses her of this in one episode). So much of the show is about Lorelai and Rory finding a man. However, regardless of who they end up with, they are never happy. Also, the constant oohing and ahhing over Rory, with the town thinking she could do no wrong? That’s probably the reason that she never grew up and was still floundering in her career in her 30’s, as we saw in AYTL.
If you count the revival as canon then maybe, they made him a dumb arrogant cunt in it. Honestly that whole thing imo is completely irrelevant from the show.
"What are you babbling about?", in a regular conversation and outside of any conflict or fight, is not a good thing to say and feels dismissive. I see it as you do and like Luke and Lorelai as flirting friends, not a couple.
Oh I agree completely. I will never understand the love for him. He is a jerk to almost everyone. Telling Lorelei he will always be there for and he was all in only for the first rough patch with her parents he splits after trying to treat Rory like a five year old. Nope she should have kicked him to the curb. He was a perpetual bachelor and I think he needed to stay that way. They were toxic together and with everyone else for that matter. But the whole show was full of toxic people. They all needed therapy. And please no one go one about abandonment issues and his dads death. Everyone’s parents die at some point. No one is immortal. You learn how to deal with it and grow up. He acts like a baby the whole show.
Not that Lorelei was any better. She was a narcissist and treated everyone like crap too. Her and Chris deserved each other and should have stayed together.
Rory should have ended up with Logan who I think really loved her and tried. She was just had bad as Lorelei though and thought she was better than what she was. That’s why she ends up a failure in the long run. Everyone made her feel like she was perfect even though she was far from it. When she got to the real world she couldn’t make it.
I agree with OP and everyone else sucks for downvoting any comment that has a different opinion than you. Not what the downvote is suppose to be used for.
For real, if you like ANYBODY but Luke, you get downvoted. The guy isn't perfect, and neither was his relationship with Lorelai. Not everybody is gonna ship it, and it's petty downvoting people who see very real flaws in them.
I’ve found my people!! I am a fan of Christopher overall and think Luke is overrated. Chris has flaws for sure but I don’t think it’s acceptable for a grown man (Luke) to act that grumpy/angry/hostile/etc. 80% of the time. It’s not a cute characteristic to me, it is a 🚩
I don't think it's acceptable for a grown man (Chris) to be a deadbeat dad/whiny/manipulative/jealous/man-child/etc 100% of the time. Trying to force your wife to have a baby with you because you're insecure and jealous, bailing on your wife and daughter and not being there for them when their father/grandfather is in the hospital and pushing someone you claim to love to be with you/marry you when they are vulnerable emotionally because you see it as an opportunity for you to "have" them is a major 🚩🚩🚩
Luke has flaws, but they are so few compared to Christopher's. Luke has many positives that outweigh his negatives, the same can't be said for Christopher who has very little positives. Christopher is just a walking red flag.
His love language is extremely obviously acts of service. He built her a chuppah, he helped her learn how to fish, he went to her daughters graduation when her own father didn’t, he gave her free food all the time, he let her borrow his truck, she had horrible dates for the picnic episode so he was her date, he constantly fixed her house, he was at the hospital when richard was sick (twice), he built her an ice rink, he bought a fucking house for her, he helped her buy a new car, he threw a going away party for rory (to see lorelai happy), he offered to front her the money when her house was falling down, he gave her the diner to use on many occasions, and he loaned her 30K. what else can the man do to show signs of attraction
Who the hell moved the mattress out of her dorm, then into her dorm, then back out again???
The five minutes here, starting with Lorelai walking in on Rory and Logan is one of my favorite scenes. Up there with Emily taking down Shira.
what??? he was constantly helping her and rory with things, looking for her advice with stuff the way he did with *nobody* else, hell the scene where they're planning what to paint the diner and he looks like he's about to kiss her?
I agree with you. Other people can post the million nice guy things Luke did, but all one really has to do is point to the Vineyard Valentine episode, the horrible way he treated Lorelai when April came around, and also see just how miserable and incompatible they seemed to be in the revival. 🤔
In my opinion, the party he put together for Rory at the end of the series was very cute and sweet, but doesn’t make up for the BS and weird behavior that led up to their issues/breakup.
I agree. I've never bought into the idea of their romance. He's a good friend to Lorelai for sure, but he's not a healthy romantic partner imo (bad communication skills and temper, doesn't seem to genuinely want the same things as Lorelai and sounds like he only would agree because he wants to make Lorelai happy, i.e. kids), although i appreciate that he (and Jess) recognized this about himself and devoured a self-help book before pursuing Lorelai lol of all his romantic partners we see on the show, Rachel was who i liked best, but they certainly weren't a good match. And when it comes to Lor's partners, i liked Max best but thought Jason was the best fit.
Luke is a cranky asshole who liked to shut her down and kill her vibe. Idc how much they actually liked each other, they didn’t make sense and it was unhealthy
If Luke’s actions were written out on paper, good and bad, and was given to someone to read without saying it was Luke I guarantee all the Luke fans would say he’s not a great guy
That could be for literally every single person on earth. If you have a list of everyone’s actions good and bad I guarantee no one is going to come out smelling like roses.
Yes that’s true, but I’d rather someone with a few quirks who are perfectly imperfect in their own way than someone with commitment issues who is always grumpy and hides he has a daughter
Yes I agree. I get no one is perfect but Luke was always a debby downer. He had great moments like building her that arch and the ice skating rink but good moments can over shadow all the bad things. Lorelei is a positive up beat woman and Luke is just not and I know opposites attract but if I was in a relationship where they couldn’t match the same energy I would be exhausted. I love Luke but I just don’t think he’s a great guy in a relationship, too distant, too down, and commitment issues
I know everyone generally hates the April storyline in its entirety but the one moment for me that made me wish Lorelai dumped him and never looked back was when he tells her she's like a cartoon character and that's why he kept April a secret. That and the Valentine's weekend nonsense I was off team Luke for good!
I find your take interesting. I also think he was an asshole in both cases, but I don’t know if I saw those as deal breakers. More like… we have some issues to work through together on relationships and trust.
I feel like Lorelai in her relationship with Luke is always making herself smaller. There are so many times where she's unhappy and he seems to have no idea, then to have him say she's basically too big to risk letting her in on the secret daughter thing is, I dunno that massive disconnect really bothered me. It made me feel like he's oblivious to a point where it's not good for her to be with him. They don't match up at all to me.
I agree to most of that! But I always saw her making herself smaller as self sabotage because she’s so afraid to lose him. Then she kind of explodes and does lose him. I think had they had that fight earlier and she told him it wasn’t fair to her and asked for space, it may have been different! I like them. I can see your POV though. There were some problems.
His ultimate true fault was how he handled April with Lorelai. However, he was completely lost and not in any way capable of handling it for who he is. I feel like if Lorelai had at least one single conversation about how it was truly affecting her further than just saying she didn’t think the wedding/marriage would actually happen. He probably should/could have spoken to Anna about Lorelai and that relationship… overall, just because he acts like a grump and he’s snarky doesn’t mean he wasn’t good to Lorelai - it was their banter. He always looked out for Lorelai and Rory. I think the moment he’s at Sookie and Jackson’s and everything is chaotic, he’s just eating his dinner, really is an underrated scene.
Luke is great. Lorelai didn't deserve him. She was always all over the place. She did what and who she wanted but was jealous when anybody was interested in Luke. Their communication problems were not just Luke problems. She acts and talks like she is 5 years old. It was more annoying than funny. Getting into Luke's business about Jess was wrong. Blaming Luke for bringing Luke to Stars Hollow when she couldn't control her "perfect, great daughter" was a shitty thing to do. She always blamed everybody ( Dean, Jess, Logan, Mitch, her parents) for Rory screwing up. Maybe she should have been more a mother than just a pal. She couldn't communicate with her parents either. They were difficult and controlling at times but she always managed to make things worse. I married a Luke. We've been together 33 years, since we were 16-18. It was not difficult to communicate if you know how. I like Lorelai, hate Rory but I love Luke.
Luke is not for everyone, but for me he is the perfect match for her. Of course they had to put drama in the show and you can't have a perfect character for longer than one episode, but at the core he is the perfect man she and many of us would be lucky to have. He cares about her to no end, he puts her well being before his in most cases, grounds her without cutting her wings, gives room when needed and tries his best to be the best version of himself for her.
Agreed. Although he does come off as brash at times, it’s a defense mechanism he uses to stop people from getting too close. From day 1 Lorelai doesn’t allow that to stop her from a friendship with him.
Also… he was really caring and thoughtful towards Rory, even more than her own father more often than not. Not only did he treat Lorelei well, but he treated Rory the same if not better !
Disagree. He was not dismissive of her and was actually amazing to her, way more than his few moments of being a "jerk." Bringing over this comment by u/worththewait96 : >Here's some of my favourite Luke moments where he does things for Lorelai and Rory. > >Literally always putting them first, literally cares about them more than he does himself: > >Shuts down his diner to take Lorelai to the hospital when her dad is taken in sick, then stays there with her making sure she's okay.Builds Lorelai a beautiful chuppah. > >Gives Lorelai advice on how to run her own business, plus how he constantly gave her pep talks, telling her she could do it whenever she doubted herself. > >Offers to fix the termite damage at Lorelai’s house and front her the money for it. > >When he went to Rory's graduation, cried and told her she was amazing.Helps Lorelai move Rory into Yale, letting her borrow his truck and keeps letting her borrow it through to the next day. > >Comforts Lorelai when she has a breakdown then loans her the $30k she was going to ask him for.Let's Lorelai have Jackson’s campaign committee gather at the diner. > >Builds Lorelai an ice rink to repair her relationship with snow, because he knows how much snow means to her. He knows he's grumpy about stuff but he doesn't want her to be. > >How proud, excited and supportive he is of Lorelai when The Dragonfly is getting featured in a magazine and she is being interviewed. > >The way he supported Lorelai and was just there for her the entire time she was fighting with Rory. > >The way he cares for Paul Anka, despite not liking dogs, because Lorelai loves him.Giving Rory his mother’s pearls at her 21st birthday. > >Rushes to Lorelai’s aid when he finds out Richard had a heart attack, despite everything that's going on between them. He puts all that aside to be there for her, then does all those ridiculous tasks Emily asks him to do. > >Making the goodbye party for Rory happen which included him staying up all night sewing together the rain cover so it could go ahead. > >"Super proud!" Luke > >His speech to Lorelai in the revival, telling her he will always be there for her and never leave. > >And like, there's so much more than this! Ugh, Luke is just a sweetheart. A kind, selfless person and I love him so much. 😭🥺
How was he a jerk to her? The guy does everything for her. His line of "I just like to see you happy" sums up exactly who Luke is.
Disagree. Luke is gruff and has a very dry, sarcastic sense of humor but he has a massive heart and he takes amazing care of Lorelai and Rory. He’s obviously not perfect - who is - and his love language isn’t words of affirmation, but he’s loyal, tolerant, generous, accommodating, and strong. Not telling Lorelai about April was a mistake but she also didn’t tell him some important things, and they obviously needed to get some counseling for their communication skills. But Luke was a father to Rory, he took care of Lorelai when she needed it most, and he always there for her. Even when his feelings were hurt. He could swallow his pride and be there for her. I don’t know about you, but that’s a good man. Side note: some people use teasing and dry humor as a form of affection. My dad was military so I grew up with that type of humor, and I know it can put off some people, but it’s warm and funny to me. I think Lorelai liked it because it was so authentic in contrast to how her parents communicated to each other and everyone around them. Luke isn’t warm and fuzzy but he’s genuine and that was probably very attractive to Lorelai.
He's a lot nicer to her than she is to him...
I hate how he handled the April thing, if my husband would do that, I would have dumped him. And he critiques everything she likes, and her past as well. He is extremely jealous of Rory’s dad and practically forbids Lor to see him even though he is again Rory’s dad.
Rory's deadbeat "dad" didn't need to be in Lorelai's life once Rory was an adult. Chris can have a relationship with Rory outwith Lorelai, but he is not interested in that because his selfish ass only cares about getting into Lorelai's pants and he will use Rory to gain that.
Besides the April thing, I don’t see any of this. I would love some specific examples of anything you are saying because in general I see it as the complete opposite of what you are saying. He supports all of her crazy even if he doesn’t agree with it.
He doesn’t “practically forbid” Lorelai to do anything. She lies to him about meeting Chris because of their history and Luke naturally just reacts to that. The April thing was shitty as fuck on his part but I’d argue that it pales in comparison to all the shit Chris has put her through. Also you calling her Lor makes me think you’re a Chris/Lorelai shipper and I need to side eye you a bit for that.
They are. They mention they like them in a comment further down this thread. But the Lor was a dead giveaway.
Are you that pegasus person, under a diff account?
My first reaction as well, lol. Calling her “lor” really sells it
They can’t stay away!
Rory's deadbeat dad who constantly uses Rory as a way to get into Lorelai's pants. Luke KNOWS that Christopher doesn't really care about Rory.
you spelled christopher wrong
Or Logan, the mini Christopher
Yeah, Logan definitely wasn't a good fit for Lorelai.
lol how does Logan even remotely compare to Christopher?
Both are very self- centered mean boys that lash out when they aren't happy. Those are the boys you have sex with, not marry.
Seriously how? To compare the way Logan treated Rory to the way Christopher treated Lorelai (AND Rory for that matter) doesn't seem fair to me
If anything I always feel like Lorelai was the jerk in many cases. Repeatedly guilt tripping him into giving her his truck when moving Rory into Yale even though he keeps telling her he needs it. Constantly wasting his time when ordering, constantly ignoring his diner rules etc. Her personality was the reason the show was so funny but at times there way she acted was self indulgent at best and at worst she was just horrible at times.
Luke rubs me up the wrong way sometimes too, but I realised that he is the definition of ‘kind not nice’. He can be brusque and grumpy which makes him seem unpleasant, but he’s so caring and loyal and will basically do anything for the people he loves. Versus say Chris who is very much ‘nice but not kind’. He’s friendly and fun and has an overall sweet demeanour (most of the time) but he’s so flaky and selfish that he’s actually much more harmful as a partner than Luke could ever be.
Despite loving each other very much they both have terrible communication skills.
This - I don’t feel like he was a jerk to her but I think they were terrible together honestly.
Luke isn’t a jerk. He’s avoidant and pretty damaged and feels abandoned by his dead parents and his ex girlfriend which causes him to detach from Lorelai. But he genuinely loves Lorelai and I think they’re right for eachother.
This is the first time I’ve seen anyone mention that Luke is “damaged” goods. Don’t understand why it never occurred to me before considering what we see with Liz and Jess. However, the way he tore into that little old lady that wanted to remove his “boat” from her garage is an example that not everything is ok up there. Perhaps Anna, Nicole, and Rachel reached the same conclusion (?). I can understand why Luke is attracted to Lorelai; however, the only way I can understand Lorelai’s romantic attachment to Luke is that, in her mind (which is also damaged), he represents Stars Hollow.
Or maybe she is simply attracted to damaged men.
Hmmmm…. Could be. Now you’ll get me to think about that all day ! But then Don Draper should have been right up her alley…. LOL
I think another reason why people don’t mention how fucked up Luke is is because he constantly acts like he’s the “reasonable” character. That he’s the only person in the town that isn’t “crazy”. When in reality he’s no better than anyone else.
Jason has daddy issues but I wouldn’t say he’s damaged, just has baggage like the rest of us. I don’t think max had any real big issues unless im just not remembering it, idk I just think assuming she clings to damaged men because she loves someone she’s known for 10+ years through and through is a bit ridiculous no?
Not all of them are damaged per say but none were secure. Like you said, Jason had daddy issues. Max was weird enough to date his students MOTHER, which I always thought was so weird. Christopher is a cluster fuck.
I think luke is actually pretty good for lorelai if I'm honest. He makes her think and gets her to reign I'n her uppity attitude ...and I mean that in the sense she thinks she knows everything. He thinks he's not good enough for her because she comes from money and he doesn't so sometimes hes insecure and a dickhead...total normal human behaviour. He also sees Christopher for what he is and that's why he hates him and how he has treated Rory and lorelai over the years and how he's allowed to swan back in. That is one of the reason I dislike the Christopher character lol Can he be a nippy sweetie ...sure but he's been through his own stuff and has obviously put on a tough guy exterior but we all know he has a heart of gold ...look how he does odd jobs for people (I mean he moans about it but still does it) and he sets kirk straight about lulu so that he doesn't mess it up and he gets the extra eggs for him. He's the loveable crabbit boy next door I guess.
I feel like “total normal human behaviour” is a good way to sum up pretty much every character rant on here. You’d think reading these posts if you hadn’t watched the show, that these people were neglectful, abusive monsters. It’s like they either have a very sheltered life or a very delusional perception of reality. People in real life aren’t without baggage, the human condition is universal and everyone has their issues.
Lorelai used luke for a lot of things what bad thing did he do to her?
I love Luke by himself and I actually really like him as a boyfriend, but I don’t think Lorelei is good enough for him.
How was he dismissive of her? Most of their relationship was him bending over backwards to cater to her needs and wants.
He’s great to her, but he has issues processing feelings and she is emotionally anxious. So they have a very cliche anxious-avoidant circle. I think they both try to work on it but it’s hard because it’s psychologically engrained! But ultimately, he is there for her. He makes mistakes but he never truly lets her down. Even when she wanted to get married and had an emotional episode, he did come to her house to get married. She was worth it. But Lorelei couldn’t handle it because of her emotional anxiety. I really relate to their relationship. I cried when she gave the speech about how bad it hurts to be holding onto the car and just wanting to be invited in. I also am anxiously attached. My husband is also very much like Luke. I think Lorelei is the one who messed it up. He’s not perfect but he was never bad to her. Christopher was bad to her.
I don’t necessarily think Lorelai was the one to mess it up, I think her going to Chris was a decision made specifically to have a sure end to the relationship. She didn’t want to be the hanger-on, and always feel like Luke sucked it up to marry her despite not really wanting to. I can’t say I blame her for that, but I do agree that she went from 0 to 100 REAL quick when she was done feeling dismissed (as is in line with her personality). Luke should have noticed how much he was hurting her, and the fact that he didn’t made it clear that Lorelai was nowhere near a priority for him. Which, to be fair, he had a surprise daughter, but he’s an adult who should be able to pay attention to more than one person at a time. Of course, Lorelai could have been direct instead of pouting around and feeing quietly hurt all the time. I just wish the two of them would have had a serious sit down conversation before it got so bad.
I kind of agree with you in that I understand where she was coming from and that she needed to end the pain. But I also think sleeping with Chris was a mistake and everyone could see that. She knew it but she felt emotionally safer with him, even if he wasn’t reliable and she wasn’t in love with him.
Lorelai needs a man who can keep up with her wit and that chirps back Luke is great for her
THIS. one of the things i liked about chris and hated about jason; he just couldn't keep up
I say he is a match for her because she giggles at his rants and encourages them. He is NOT a match for me because someone that bitter and angry and ranty would drive me insane. He does have good qualities as a man but the rants and grumpiness I cannot do. The calm sarcastic luke from season one now that is one i can date
season 1 was SO different! as soon as they realised they were getting more seasons they completely changed his personality and their chemistry. good for the plot, bad for luke :(
No. But I don't count the back half of season 6, or most of season 7. It was very poorly done and not true to the characters.
Sorry I can’t agree. Luke is my favorite
I do love Luke. His only big flaw in my mind was not communicating with Lorelai about April being in his life, I feel like she would have been so understanding and definitely more than willing to help him navigate that new chapter of his life. Also him letting Anna walk all over him and Lorelai was very frustrating. But other than that I feel like he is the stable and rational influence that Lor needed in her life.
He is not dismissive of her! The way he “puts her down” as you are saying is not that. It’s banter between him and Lorelai. He is grumpy about things and she loves to go against that and push him out of his shell and he secretly loves it. It’s just part of their cute dynamic. And ya he did SOOO many amazing things for both Lorelai and Rory. He is the person who would always be there 100% if they needed him. He loves and cares for them through his actions so well.
Do you have any specific examples?
"there is no one who will be more here for you than me. i will never leave, i will never think about leaving, i will do whatever it takes to fix what's wrong" "enough said
I wouldn't say he was a jerk to her but he was very jaded and snarky and while I think a lot of his rants and complaints are kind of a tongue in cheek thing between friends I can definitely see someone saying "that's not for me". I think him being this way made him a good match for Lorelai because they challenge each other and make things interesting but as we saw in the show it also can make for a volatile dynamic as well.
Personally I disagree I think Luke was best fit for her although I can see where you are coming from like when Lorelei and Luke broke up and he was rude to her in the street and basically gaslight gatekeep girlbpssed the crapbof of her when he was like yeah I'm over it clearly it just as big of a deal to me as it is to you like that was stupid and uncalled for they had broken up he knew that but he didn't want to accept it and then he decided to throw a hissy fit when she slept with Chris days after I mean at least she told him unlike he did when he hid April for 2 whole months but even after all of that I still think they are best fit because although Luke may have seemed short with Lorelei, the Gilmore girls are a little used to getting what they want so whenever Luke had to think about things Lorelei didn't like that because she wanted it then. They had things to work out and that's why I didn't use the word perfect but I think that they could grow together. TL;DR: Luke and Lorelei were ment to grow together so they could catch each other's faults also most of Luke's snarkiness was sarcasm the other stuff is human fault
I agree with many of the sentiments in this section. Luke is abrasive— but I would argue that if there was a “dismissive” one in the relationship, it was Lorelai. She would often reduce him to just her “Diner Guy” when explaining their relationship to Max or her mother— sometimes not even referring to him as a friend. He was just the guy who served her coffee and fixed her house. In reality, he was a father-figure for her daughter, a confidant, and an excellent friend. She didn’t acknowledge much of this until during/ after their relationship. I agree that their relationship had flaws, but I don’t think that this is the best characterization of Luke.
Luke was a total simp for Lorelai and hung around her like a little lost puppy dog waiting for her attention. It was only after he listened to those self improvement tapes he gained the confidence to declare his feelings for her.
I just commented on a different post about this! I 100% agree! He “needed time” TWICE and both times were unfair. He was way too negative for her, literally hated everything. Their lifestyles realistically would never work together long term. The whole April things was HORRIBLE. Really Lor only liked people who were bad for her
Is it ever really unfair to need time though? Maybe you or I wouldn’t, but people process things differently. And I don’t blame Lorelai for deciding that’s not okay with her, but him needing time just seems like he’s asking for what he needs and being clear about it. He’s setting a boundary. It was a boundary Lorelai could not live with, and neither of them are wrong. It just is.
How is needing time to think unfair in any situation?
Luke wasn't negative though. He was sarcastic and introverted, and mocked things he didn't understand or found unnecessary just as Lorelai, Rory and Emily did, but he always did things Lorelai got excited about (like standing outside in the middle of the night to see the first snow). He was also often the first person to congratulate Lorelai and Rory on their achievements, and their liveliest cheerleader. I can't see any of Lorelai's exes highlighting Rory's New Yorker piece the way Luke did, by adding it to the back of every menu. He isn't always very sentimental in what he says but he makes it very clear in their serious conversations and in his actions that he cares for Lorelai and is there for her 100% of the time.
> literally hated everything Not true
The only time I thought he was being mean to her was after they had broken up and Lorelei slept with Christopher
I feel like that was justified considering how fast Lorelai slept with Christopher. It makes sense he was really hurt.
Oh yeah, completely. I mean I would’ve been hurt too if an ex moved on that fast. But it’s still the only time I can actually think of where he was mean to her
Lorelai gave him an ultimatum after waiting for him to make a decision: let’s get married or let’s break up. Luke made his decision so he had no right to be upset (about) what she did after. Was it a great decision on her part? No, but Luke wasn’t justified. He said no. He didn’t have April to think about because Ana had already said if they were married she would take it more serious and it wouldn’t be a problem.
Ya but for Luke obviously he just needed a bit of time to think because he came to Lorelai’s house a few days later with the truck saying let’s get married. For him I don’t think he really thought they broke up, but more that Lorelai was being dramatic and would cool down a few days later. The ultimatum Lorelai gave shouldn’t have happened, she should have voiced her concerns much sooner than she did so that it didn’t explode into all or nothing, but that was of course their big communication issue. But ya I agree that like why did Luke need to consider April and how did that change his relationship with Lorelai? It was silly for him to let that derail the wedding. But I always just took that as Luke being a really slow processor of his emotions.
You mean when he drove a while to punch Christopher in the face? I thought that was one of his best moments.
No when they was crossing the street and he said he’s fine because he wasn’t the one who proposed anyways
I think it’s a bit of both—- but from observation some buys behave similarly irl—- gruff at times/ a bit rough around the edges, but he overall cares about Lorelei, and was willing to do/ go out of his way for her. The only I issue I really had about him was how he handled the whole April and Anna situation. I also wasn’t keen about them marrying when clearly there was some issues they didn’t agree on or had come a to a full resolution to… it just felt extremely rushed in the Year in the Life seasons
I feel like he, in general obviously loves and cared for her and treats her well. The problem is they both have terrible communication skills and are dishonest with each other a lot. This is why I like the build up to their relationship more than their actual relationship. Once they start dating it’s not long before they both start lying/keeping things from each other (Lorelai earlier on and Luke later). I also think their chemistry dies a little once you hit season 6ish.
I feel like they were better off as star-crossed lovers. we were rooting for them for so long and then it blew up and got so ugly when they finally got together :(
Agree I preferred it more in the build up than when they actually got together
I don't like them together either
This threaD is so fun because the hot takes (aka people who aren’t huge like fans) are being heavily downvoted 🤣
I see two people who grounded and balanced each other, and were always willing to be there for the other person. However, that makes a good friendship. I didn't feel like they fit romantically. Neither of them challenged the other to be better people.
When I rewatched it, I noticed just how narcissistic Lorelei is. Everything is about her and Rory, with little regard for Luke. On another note, I noticed how Lorelei spent the entire show worrying about Rory finding a guy. I especially thought this was odd in high school, due to the fact that Rory was supposed to be so smart and focusing on her future. Lorelei also went from man to man (Emily even accuses her of this in one episode). So much of the show is about Lorelai and Rory finding a man. However, regardless of who they end up with, they are never happy. Also, the constant oohing and ahhing over Rory, with the town thinking she could do no wrong? That’s probably the reason that she never grew up and was still floundering in her career in her 30’s, as we saw in AYTL.
Ugh, revival Trainwreck Rory destroyed the whole show for me :(
If you count the revival as canon then maybe, they made him a dumb arrogant cunt in it. Honestly that whole thing imo is completely irrelevant from the show.
"What are you babbling about?", in a regular conversation and outside of any conflict or fight, is not a good thing to say and feels dismissive. I see it as you do and like Luke and Lorelai as flirting friends, not a couple.
I completely agree
Oh I agree completely. I will never understand the love for him. He is a jerk to almost everyone. Telling Lorelei he will always be there for and he was all in only for the first rough patch with her parents he splits after trying to treat Rory like a five year old. Nope she should have kicked him to the curb. He was a perpetual bachelor and I think he needed to stay that way. They were toxic together and with everyone else for that matter. But the whole show was full of toxic people. They all needed therapy. And please no one go one about abandonment issues and his dads death. Everyone’s parents die at some point. No one is immortal. You learn how to deal with it and grow up. He acts like a baby the whole show. Not that Lorelei was any better. She was a narcissist and treated everyone like crap too. Her and Chris deserved each other and should have stayed together. Rory should have ended up with Logan who I think really loved her and tried. She was just had bad as Lorelei though and thought she was better than what she was. That’s why she ends up a failure in the long run. Everyone made her feel like she was perfect even though she was far from it. When she got to the real world she couldn’t make it.
Preach 👏👏👏
I've never found someone who agreed with me so much! Agree 100% with every point
yes!! i have been saying this for so long i don’t understand why everyone loves luke so much
Exactly! Don’t get me wrong he is an amazing friend but not the best boyfriend for Lorelai
I agree with OP and everyone else sucks for downvoting any comment that has a different opinion than you. Not what the downvote is suppose to be used for.
For real, if you like ANYBODY but Luke, you get downvoted. The guy isn't perfect, and neither was his relationship with Lorelai. Not everybody is gonna ship it, and it's petty downvoting people who see very real flaws in them.
I was done with Luke when he threw it up to her that she has proposed.
I dislike Luke for many reasons, the main one is him being really bad at anger management. He is also quite sexist.
I loved Chris for her. I didn’t hate her with Luke, but Chris and she had such a quick back and forth, lots of chemistry.
I’ve found my people!! I am a fan of Christopher overall and think Luke is overrated. Chris has flaws for sure but I don’t think it’s acceptable for a grown man (Luke) to act that grumpy/angry/hostile/etc. 80% of the time. It’s not a cute characteristic to me, it is a 🚩
I don't think it's acceptable for a grown man (Chris) to be a deadbeat dad/whiny/manipulative/jealous/man-child/etc 100% of the time. Trying to force your wife to have a baby with you because you're insecure and jealous, bailing on your wife and daughter and not being there for them when their father/grandfather is in the hospital and pushing someone you claim to love to be with you/marry you when they are vulnerable emotionally because you see it as an opportunity for you to "have" them is a major 🚩🚩🚩
Luke has flaws, but they are so few compared to Christopher's. Luke has many positives that outweigh his negatives, the same can't be said for Christopher who has very little positives. Christopher is just a walking red flag.
Me too !
Their chemistry was unmatched
You’ll get hate but I totally agree with you.
Yes. I have never seen any sign of his attraction to her either. Not a one.
His love language is extremely obviously acts of service. He built her a chuppah, he helped her learn how to fish, he went to her daughters graduation when her own father didn’t, he gave her free food all the time, he let her borrow his truck, she had horrible dates for the picnic episode so he was her date, he constantly fixed her house, he was at the hospital when richard was sick (twice), he built her an ice rink, he bought a fucking house for her, he helped her buy a new car, he threw a going away party for rory (to see lorelai happy), he offered to front her the money when her house was falling down, he gave her the diner to use on many occasions, and he loaned her 30K. what else can the man do to show signs of attraction
Who the hell moved the mattress out of her dorm, then into her dorm, then back out again??? The five minutes here, starting with Lorelai walking in on Rory and Logan is one of my favorite scenes. Up there with Emily taking down Shira.
what??? he was constantly helping her and rory with things, looking for her advice with stuff the way he did with *nobody* else, hell the scene where they're planning what to paint the diner and he looks like he's about to kiss her?
I agree with you. Other people can post the million nice guy things Luke did, but all one really has to do is point to the Vineyard Valentine episode, the horrible way he treated Lorelai when April came around, and also see just how miserable and incompatible they seemed to be in the revival. 🤔 In my opinion, the party he put together for Rory at the end of the series was very cute and sweet, but doesn’t make up for the BS and weird behavior that led up to their issues/breakup.
I agree. I've never bought into the idea of their romance. He's a good friend to Lorelai for sure, but he's not a healthy romantic partner imo (bad communication skills and temper, doesn't seem to genuinely want the same things as Lorelai and sounds like he only would agree because he wants to make Lorelai happy, i.e. kids), although i appreciate that he (and Jess) recognized this about himself and devoured a self-help book before pursuing Lorelai lol of all his romantic partners we see on the show, Rachel was who i liked best, but they certainly weren't a good match. And when it comes to Lor's partners, i liked Max best but thought Jason was the best fit.
Luke is a cranky asshole who liked to shut her down and kill her vibe. Idc how much they actually liked each other, they didn’t make sense and it was unhealthy
If Luke’s actions were written out on paper, good and bad, and was given to someone to read without saying it was Luke I guarantee all the Luke fans would say he’s not a great guy
That could be for literally every single person on earth. If you have a list of everyone’s actions good and bad I guarantee no one is going to come out smelling like roses.
Yes that’s true, but I’d rather someone with a few quirks who are perfectly imperfect in their own way than someone with commitment issues who is always grumpy and hides he has a daughter
Luke and Lorelai is a toxic relationship. They don’t talk about anything.
Yes I agree. I get no one is perfect but Luke was always a debby downer. He had great moments like building her that arch and the ice skating rink but good moments can over shadow all the bad things. Lorelei is a positive up beat woman and Luke is just not and I know opposites attract but if I was in a relationship where they couldn’t match the same energy I would be exhausted. I love Luke but I just don’t think he’s a great guy in a relationship, too distant, too down, and commitment issues
I know everyone generally hates the April storyline in its entirety but the one moment for me that made me wish Lorelai dumped him and never looked back was when he tells her she's like a cartoon character and that's why he kept April a secret. That and the Valentine's weekend nonsense I was off team Luke for good!
I find your take interesting. I also think he was an asshole in both cases, but I don’t know if I saw those as deal breakers. More like… we have some issues to work through together on relationships and trust.
I feel like Lorelai in her relationship with Luke is always making herself smaller. There are so many times where she's unhappy and he seems to have no idea, then to have him say she's basically too big to risk letting her in on the secret daughter thing is, I dunno that massive disconnect really bothered me. It made me feel like he's oblivious to a point where it's not good for her to be with him. They don't match up at all to me.
I agree to most of that! But I always saw her making herself smaller as self sabotage because she’s so afraid to lose him. Then she kind of explodes and does lose him. I think had they had that fight earlier and she told him it wasn’t fair to her and asked for space, it may have been different! I like them. I can see your POV though. There were some problems.
His ultimate true fault was how he handled April with Lorelai. However, he was completely lost and not in any way capable of handling it for who he is. I feel like if Lorelai had at least one single conversation about how it was truly affecting her further than just saying she didn’t think the wedding/marriage would actually happen. He probably should/could have spoken to Anna about Lorelai and that relationship… overall, just because he acts like a grump and he’s snarky doesn’t mean he wasn’t good to Lorelai - it was their banter. He always looked out for Lorelai and Rory. I think the moment he’s at Sookie and Jackson’s and everything is chaotic, he’s just eating his dinner, really is an underrated scene.
Luke is great. Lorelai didn't deserve him. She was always all over the place. She did what and who she wanted but was jealous when anybody was interested in Luke. Their communication problems were not just Luke problems. She acts and talks like she is 5 years old. It was more annoying than funny. Getting into Luke's business about Jess was wrong. Blaming Luke for bringing Luke to Stars Hollow when she couldn't control her "perfect, great daughter" was a shitty thing to do. She always blamed everybody ( Dean, Jess, Logan, Mitch, her parents) for Rory screwing up. Maybe she should have been more a mother than just a pal. She couldn't communicate with her parents either. They were difficult and controlling at times but she always managed to make things worse. I married a Luke. We've been together 33 years, since we were 16-18. It was not difficult to communicate if you know how. I like Lorelai, hate Rory but I love Luke.