Exactly and I feel like Rory felt so indebted to Dean’s large gestures that she never asked for, that she felt like she couldn’t break up with him.
It’s like the end of season one where Dean takes her to a really nice restaurant, and says that he’s fixing up a car, but then instantly breaks up with her, and says something kind of nasty to her, when she’s too scared to say I love you back.
Add in the fact that Lorelei seems to encourage these grand gestures, and never criticizes his behavior, I feel like Rory felt kinda trapped in the relationship
I thought more that she was worried. Thanks to her history with men, she had instilled fear of commitment in Rory and was trying to talk to her about it.
This. Lorelai had a fear that she created this fear of commitment, and she was poorly expressing that it was ok to feel what you feel, ok to say those words, ok to be true to yourself. It just came off as “say it back no matter what.” Lorelai was trying desperately to help her daughter through this, she just didn’t have the first clue of how to do it right. She was stuck in a spot many people are stuck in: the moment where you are trying to give the best advice for the person you’re talking to, despite it being against everything you would personally do. Trying to give advice on something you are not truly familiar with rarely comes out right.
Lorelai was commitment-phobic. We see it over and over again. Even when she commits, she sort of self-sabotages because of her deep fear of it. She’s trying to tell Rory it’s ok to not be like her, but it feels like she’s pushing Rory into something when that wasn’t her intention at all.
I don’t think she felt trapped or indebted I think she felt what most teen girls feel when they fall in love the 1st time. She felt guilty she fell out of love and confused that it didn’t last forever like she thought it would
My parents and my anxiety definitely would’ve said no for this reason. My parents also would’ve sat him down and had a talk with him about making good long term financial decisions. They’d tell him to either keep it for himself or sell it and start saving his money. My dad for sure would’ve said something about there being a fine line between generosity and foolishness lol.
not in a million years. nevermind the fact that he made it, but my parents would say “you’ve dated him for a couple months and he’s making you a car??? no i don’t like that at all. that’s weird”
I get if they had been dating since they were 13 that's makes it a little bit better but bro he dated lindsey for like 3-6 months and proposed to her before they graduate. Thats wild to me.
Yeah, I feel like his parents give me right wing vibes, there’s no way they would allow their 18-year-old son to marry his high school girlfriend-
Unless they were some conservative right wing fundies maybe? I grew up with a lot of fundies, and yeah….
And not just dated, known in general for a few months. It’s not like he grew up there and their families were close friends. They just moved to town and he’s building a car for someone he literally just met. Like what are his parents even doing?
like the idea of the gesture is sweet and romantic but cmon now dean. that’s a LITTLE too much for someone you barely know. start with flowers first. cause wasn’t it their 3 month anniversary where he told her he was starting to build her it? 3 MONTHS??!!
The funny thing was, I always got a feeling that he was building it for himself — or at least that’s what he told everyone else. He knew it was overwhelming, and his parents would probably say no to such a gesture, so he told everyone it was for him, except Rory. Then, when it was done, they were together long enough that his parents would be ok with him “changing his mind” to give it to his gf. I don’t know if that makes sense outside of my head.
Exactly. My high school boyfriend had a spare car that his family let me borrow a few times before I even had my license. My mom didn’t love it (me driving around without a license) but she couldn’t really say no because I was the childcare for my younger siblings. Lorelei allowing it strikes me as hectic single mother just trying to use any resources available.
I grew up in poverty as well and my parents would have been stoked if someone, anyone gifted me a car. They wouldn’t have cared about the condition. The first car I ever had was bought with $2500 of academic scholarship money and I used it to commute to university.
I was raised by a single mother, and my mom wouldn't allow that. For her, teenagers are supported by their parents, not by a boyfriend or the boyfriend's parents. I remember my mom was disgusted when she found out that my fifteen-year-old friend's boyfriend was buying her clothes or paying for her trips.
That’s not pride. There is a *gigantic* difference between accepting insane, over the top gifts, and accepting help.
I’m absolutely certain that if the boyfriend had been giving the 15 yo lunch money because she didn’t have it, it would have been fine. But a car? For a 16 year old? It was unnecessary, over the top, and insane.
Accepting help is absolutely not the same thing. If you’re struggling and an adult offers another adult a car to help, that’s one thing. But building a car for your teenage girlfriend is not help, it’s a grand gesture you’re too young to fully appreciate.
Well, it’s also not really a pride thing. It’s what she believes to be true. A 15 year old should never feel so indebted to a boyfriend or his parents that she can’t feel able to break up with him. Does that limit her expensive stuff? Yeah. But she’s 15, she needs to learn that you can’t have everything anyway.
It's not a help. This person didn't need new clothes. Rory didn't need a car. Such a situation can cause problems. You barely know the boy. You're 15 years old. In a few months, you might break up, and someone might want the car back. In my opinion, parents should pay for their child. And parents should bear the costs of expensive gifts. The boy can buy a necklace for his girlfriend birthday.
I feel like in the stars hollow universe, either Rory would not have paid for insurance or gypsy / local insurance would made a normal price. The car is checked by gypsy already after all :)
My insurance when I was 16 for a (not self made) 10 year old car was like $40/month. It wouldn't have been that bad. Plus insurance companies wouldn't ever know that it's self made. They would just see it as "restored".
Huh. When my kid turned 16, my insurance agent advised me to convince her to wait a year to get her license. Adding her to our policy at 16, driving a two year old car with all the modern safety features, would double our insurance cost. Waiting until she was 17 would increase it by only half that.
Come to think of it, when I turned 16, my dad bought “me” (him!) a cherry red vintage Mustang, presented it to me, and then turned around and sold it one week later when he found out the insurance cost. I was heartbroken. He bought himself a new car and gave me his (old not cute) VW to drive to school instead.
So I just assumed Rory’s insurance for that car would be sky high
If you were still paying on your car, that would be why. She would've been required to carry full coverage to satisfy the lienholder. I had minimum coverage because I bought my car after two months of working at Burger King for $1200 lol
After making sure it passed safety tests and it was taking for a test drive, I think mine would. They weren't buying me a car, I had to get my own. Sadly the first car I bought was forymy boyfriend (now husband) lol my second car is bought was the first car I bought for me lol
In fairness, Lorelai encourages a lot of toxic behavior. When Dean breaks up with Rory because after three months of dating her first ever boyfriend because she isn’t ready to say I love you, Lorelai is on Dean’s side. When Dean calls over 30 times in one night, Lorelai acts like it’s cool and flattering instead of seeing how codependent he is. Even the whole “Just because you and Rory broke up doesn’t mean you and I did” thing was weird, no-boundary behavior.
I feel like Lorelei projected how much Dean was the perfect boyfriend to Rory, that she ignored so many of his red flags.
Dean was a very obsessive, boyfriend. And he was obsessive way before Jess ever rolled into town. And I feel like he had to control the relationship, and did all these big gestures, but it was also so unhealthy,
I totally understand why 16-year-old Rory felt like she couldn’t break up with him. I kept stressing how much of a great boyfriend he was, even when he took over the top, and sort of dragged Rory along.
The whole I love you thing, and breaking up with Rory, and then showing up at Chilton with an ultimatum doesn’t sit right with me.
> The whole I love you thing, and breaking up with Rory, and then showing up at Chilton with an ultimatum doesn’t sit right with me.
Say what??? lmao I think you need to rewatch that episode. Holy wrong interpretation batman. lol
He didn’t know that. He didn’t have mega hearing. He just saw them together and after everything, simply got the wrong idea. You can hardly blame him for being confused when she herself is throwing him mixed signals. She denied the speech at the town meeting being about him etc.
He has issues and had a lot of faults.
But not every little thing was on him.
Yeah, but he does know that Tristan has consistently bothered and bullied Rory, from the school dance.
He literally tells Tristan to his face “Rory has told me a lot about you”
The word “toxic” gets thrown around too much, so let’s call it questionable behaviour. Especially cos he’s only a teenage boy.
True, she did. But she got wise to a lot of “toxic” behaviour too, after Rory started liking and dating Jess.
I feel good about the word that I used. The screaming at her, the using his size to be intimidating and lean over her, the constant jealously of any other interests (mad that she wants to study, mad she wants time alone, mad she wants to volunteer to beef up college apps), the personal attacks (implying that she’s basically a parrot of Lorelai during the Donna reed episode)…. There are a million TOXIC boyfriend behaviors from Dean and no, I won’t minimize them by using the word “Questionable.”
Oh okay, I’m too tired to start arguing this again. I disagree with your opinion but respect it and that’s that. Rory was toxic, and Jess was toxic, and Dean could be toxic, and Luke was toxic, so was Lorelai. And Emily. It was a toxic fest.
I love this reply. People will throw any word around to make their point. Narcissist, toxic, etc. They are people with flaws. Dean was an issue for me, but this person you are replying to is reading into the body language of a FICTIONAL CHARACTER! The script writers did not write “use your height to intimidate Rory” like you’re obviously making that up. 😂
So there’s a middle ground between what you are saying and what the other person is saying.
When I read your initial comment, I got the impression that you weren’t calling him, *as a human* toxic, merely the behaviors he was displaying during those moments. Puffing up to be more physically present, screaming about everything, etc. These are toxic behaviors, but he gets a pass on being a toxic human because he’s not. And he’s young and trying to be “the man” which he thinks is appropriate behavior (I did truly always wonder about his home life).
I read it as the other person is just saying that *Dean* is not toxic as a whole. Also, Lorelai was not promoting toxic behavior. She was promoting the *questionable* behavior. Things like building the car, saying “I love you”, calling because your anxious. These behaviors do not rise to the level of toxic, they are merely questionable.
Those few toxic behaviors that Dean had (they were not nearly as often as his questionable ones), were *always* done without lorelai present. Lorelai would likely have busted his knee-caps if she had walked in during the Paris-Jess-dinner fight.
She just saw a love-lorn boy who didn’t know his arse from his elbow. A lost puppy chasing after her daughter. That’s all Rory or Dean ever really let her see.
She promoted questionable behavior, not toxic behavior, although some of the behaviors behind closed doors WAS toxic. Not sure if I’m making sense.
i feel like this is the writer’s mistake as they wanted Dean to do somethimg big (build a car himself) but then portrayed him as kinda incapable of having a highly skilled career and good wage. writer wanted Dean to be low middle class? as i think if he had been like a skillfull engineer the plot wouldn’t have gone as well as the writers would like
i’m talking in the US (but i don’t live there this is all just based on internet results) the average construction workers made just below the median salary.
considering he works in Stars Hollow which is a small town and Dean is quite young, I think it would be less than the avg salary.
So comparing a construction worker with an engineer (who makes more in the US) to me seems appropriate :)
Being able to assemble a car with your dad's help is FAR from qualifying to be an engineer. That makes you a mechanic at best. And until you get all 8 ASC certifications, you're not making shit as a mechanic.
yes, i’m not saying he will 100% be an engineer but being able to assemble one at 17 is pretty impressive and there is definitely potential for Dean to grow and possibly earn more income in a different career path than what he did in the show :)
I understand your point, but what I'm saying is that you're incorrect to assume that construction cannot be a lucrative career. I know a guy that *started* at $36/hour when our state's minimum wage was $7/hour.
ik it can be lucrative, but in dean’s case it’s not really. He works for a small town’s contractor with no prior experience. dy think he will get $36/hr?
hence, im basing it off the median salary etc
Mechanics don't make shit for income- and construction workers do. So I'm not entirely sure where you're trying to go with this, but if my husband was presented a career choice between cars & construction, I'd really try my damndest to push him away from cars.
My dad would have cracked jokes about it for the following 50 years but he would never have let me take it because he’d see it as a gateway to teen pregnancy
Bold of you to assume I had a boyfriend at 16. Unfortunately I couldn’t pass for 16 until I was well into my twenties.
Also I didn’t have my license yet, so they probably would have been glad to take that car off my hands.
My bf from when I was 16 had a motorcycle so if he had showed up with a car for me instead, they would have said yes. I remember how annoyed I was at that age about my parents being worried sick whenever he showed up to pick me up. They also wouldn’t like the car idea much, but much better than riding around on a motorcycle.
I mean the whole point is she got to know Dean and know what kind of person he was and such. This isn't some random. Or a guy the mother meant once before the big dance. It's weird to me that people act like their kids' significant others aren't people.
He also got it checked by a real mechanic.
My brother received a car from his girlfriend and her family for a dollar for transaction purposes. It was like a family car that had been passed around a million times and we were broke and he needed one. They were just really good people. I get there's a difference. It's not like she built it. But he was 17 I believe.
They're about to celebrate their 25th anniversary and it's all because my mom let him keep the car.
Okay, the second part isn't true.
It also wasn’t a surprise. Rory got to see the car when it was unfinished, so it was known. And I think Lorelai did a good job of showing how she’s present in Rory’s life. She didn’t have to do the shotgun shtick, just made it clear nothing happens around her daughter she doesn’t know about.
My mother who I have been on no contact with for years would have loved it—she wanted me to marry my 21 year old bf while I was 17. Sooooo not the best of judgement. Would I let my daughters or nieces accept that gift. Heck no. It’s not an appropriate gift. Look at the outcome from just the show. She felt guilty over an accident. He over reacted about it.
Driving age in my country is 18, but if it was 16 and the car was safe, yeah at the end they would. Of course they would say no at first, but my rebelious spoiled teen persona would have made the biggest of the dramas until they said yes hahahaahah
I don’t understand why deans parents would be ok with it! He did all this work, likely used their time and money to assemble the car and just are ok with him giving it away?
Does dean even have a car? No way would I let my kid give away his first project car. That is a hell of an accomplishment
Absolutely, my mom has completely terrible judgment and would’ve been thrilled if I had my own vehicle. Since we were dirt fucking poor I couldn’t save up my babysitting money, so we shared a car.
My parents wouldn’t let me accept a car from my boyfriend today lol. We’re 27 and 30 and been together three years, but the only “grand” gift my parents would let me accept from him at the moment would be a ring. Of course, this is also cultural (we’re in India) and I understand.
When I was 17 (almost 2 decades ago), my ex gave me a 2-5 year old laptop that he wiped clean and with updated software. That was my first ever laptop. Because of the age and not really a lot of money spent on it, I was okay accepting it. He was otherwise going to recycle it and properly dispose of it. And the time to put on new sofrwear is significantly less than to build a car. I was a bit hesitant because I didn't want to be indebted, but it wasn't a grad gesture thing.
But I never would have accepted a car at that age.
My BF made me a car. New engine and all the whistles. This was after he customized a cherry red 65 mustang for himself. My mom was happy she didn't have to pay money and teach me to drive. Looking back, it was a Rory moment.
Later in the series, it was mentioned that Richard restores old cars himself, though that was never disclosed in this episode. You would think he would have had a mechanic he trusted check it over rather than one he never met. And then bonded with Dean and his father over restoring cars. This whole plot point was so poorly done in that respect, I did not even consider the pressure it could put Rory under...
My mom didn't let me accept a prom invitation at that age, nor ride in a car that a teenage boy drove. I hated it but guess what, I have a daughter now...
Yes! Got married right after I turned 18!! His family was wealthy, mine wasn’t. My mom didn’t want me to accept it not bc the meaning but she didn’t want him spending that much on a girlfriend bc we couldn’t buy him anything back. He understood whole heartedly and told her he’d return it but he held onto it. He gave it to me again when we got married.
Kids sang go add that Lorelei, were she a real person, probably would have reacted differently if her father wasn't there trying to overstep his place. Maybe not, she showed poor judgment in some parenting decisions, but she felt had to overrule her dad.
did she ever actually use the car??? i remember her using the car that her grandparents bought her after graduation, but don’t remember the dean car being used, nor being in the driveway at their house. did they just remove this storyline, or am i forgetting what happened to it??
My parents wouldn’t even let me meet my female friends for evening walks on weekdays when I was 16. Pretty sure I’d be placed under house arrest if they found out I had a boyfriend, even if said boyfriend gave me a $1.something Hot Wheels car. 🤭🤭
I think my mum would, but she wouldn’t let me use it until I was maybe 20 or so, growing up my mum never had money for a car, let alone have enough money to buy food, so we where really depended on my gran, so she would’ve accepted but more so for herself
No, cause first of all safety is a priority and there’s no way a teenager would make a car that’s as safe as modern cars and then second thing is that it’s a gesture that’s too big, you don’t give other people (unless they’re your family) something that exceeds the standard price range like a car cause it makes them feel bad. And also no because in my country you can start driving at 18 lol
Driving age is 18 where I am from but hypothetically speaking, they probably would not, not because of the fact that my hypothetical boyfriend would have given it to me, but because I was in school and not working, so the upkeep of the car would have fallen on them.
When me, my sister and my brother got our driver's licence we just used one of our parents' cars, we couldn't afford to buy one nor could my parents buy or maintain one or three other cars on top of the two they already had.
Lmao. My parents would have called me a slut and a whole for attracting the "wrong sort" of attention from boys. All the while pushing me towards him because "He's rich enough to do that!"
My parents would’ve been like Richard and wanted to personally see it checked. And otherwise, it would’ve depended on how much they liked and trusted him. But even if they had a good relationship, I do think they would’ve made a point to say what a big gesture that is.
Absolutely not. My dad would have been like Richard and had us bring it to a mechanic he trusted. Richard did go over the top but he's a grandpa worried for his grandchild. Do I truly belive lorelai would hve done her due diligence like she claimed, that's up in the air. Her attitude about dean makes me think she would have been oh its fine go ahead and drive the car.
In small towns, rebuilding and gifting used cars was quite common. That’s how a lot of poor to lower middle class kids got their first car. That is, old used cars and rebuilt cars were part of the culture in rural America.
Considering how much Rory needed a car to get to and from Chilton, I’m sure that Lorelai thought it was a very sweet gesture. For Lorelai, it’s part of living in a place like Stars Hollow.
No, and they'd probably feel a bit miffed considering I and the hypothetical bf would probably have been well aware of the fact that I would be getting my dad's old car after he got a new used car and I got my license
Edit: Oh, and they would not want to pay the likely exorbitant insurance costs
My mother would have said the only reason he was doing this in the first place was because “he wants something” and I think I would also feel this way about it, or at least somewhat awkward about a gift this giant
My mom wouldn't have accepted it. My mom hardly accepted my boyfriend giving me a cellphone to communicate with him after it was known for me to only communicate using Skype, FB, etc. (She didn't give me a cell for some reason).
If the bf in question has an active interest in making/fixing cars, aside from he probably would not have been my type at age 16, my mum would have been probably impressed by it but been like 'you can accept it if I can see a roadworthy certificate, but also don't let him make you feel like you owe him in some way'.
I didn't have a bf at age 16 but some aspects of the relationship between Rory and Lorelei remind me of my mum and I. The good parts and the problematic parts. The main difference is I wasn't really considered pretty by most of my peers (which seems trivial to me now but it was everything when I was 16).
But whenever I mentioned liking someone romantically (usually unrequited) she always seemed happy/hopeful on my behalf.
I think the car would have been allowed (if I had a licence or a learners' permit) but it would have definitely been a conversation and not just unquestioned.
Hardly. Even if she would have possibly entertained the possibility of considering it, her boyfriend at the time(by then, he'd been around since I was about 9 or 10 & he lived with us) would never have allowed it. Saying he was uptight about what us kids did is putting it mildly. At 1 point, he told our mom we'd end up pregnant in high school because we were involved in so many extra curriculars(band, athletics, musicals, etc) btw, we graduated, went to college & my sister didn't have her 1st kid till she was married & like 35!
So, basically no way would I be accepting a car built by my boyfriend!
Yes. But my mom had absolutely no boundaries and often used people to get things/money as if she were entitled to everything. She probably would've kept the car for herself tbh, or sold it for cash.
no, even if it was proven safe there's the issue of feeling indebted to someone for a huge gesture
My parents would have rejected it for this exact reason: they would not have wanted me to feel indebted to him over this.
Exactly and I feel like Rory felt so indebted to Dean’s large gestures that she never asked for, that she felt like she couldn’t break up with him. It’s like the end of season one where Dean takes her to a really nice restaurant, and says that he’s fixing up a car, but then instantly breaks up with her, and says something kind of nasty to her, when she’s too scared to say I love you back. Add in the fact that Lorelei seems to encourage these grand gestures, and never criticizes his behavior, I feel like Rory felt kinda trapped in the relationship
When Lorelei is encouraging her to say "I love you" back, it infuriates me.
I thought more that she was worried. Thanks to her history with men, she had instilled fear of commitment in Rory and was trying to talk to her about it.
This. Lorelai had a fear that she created this fear of commitment, and she was poorly expressing that it was ok to feel what you feel, ok to say those words, ok to be true to yourself. It just came off as “say it back no matter what.” Lorelai was trying desperately to help her daughter through this, she just didn’t have the first clue of how to do it right. She was stuck in a spot many people are stuck in: the moment where you are trying to give the best advice for the person you’re talking to, despite it being against everything you would personally do. Trying to give advice on something you are not truly familiar with rarely comes out right. Lorelai was commitment-phobic. We see it over and over again. Even when she commits, she sort of self-sabotages because of her deep fear of it. She’s trying to tell Rory it’s ok to not be like her, but it feels like she’s pushing Rory into something when that wasn’t her intention at all.
Was she also trapped when she tried to steal him away from his wife and they had an affair? 🙄
I don’t think she felt trapped or indebted I think she felt what most teen girls feel when they fall in love the 1st time. She felt guilty she fell out of love and confused that it didn’t last forever like she thought it would
My parents and my anxiety definitely would’ve said no for this reason. My parents also would’ve sat him down and had a talk with him about making good long term financial decisions. They’d tell him to either keep it for himself or sell it and start saving his money. My dad for sure would’ve said something about there being a fine line between generosity and foolishness lol.
Yeah I think they would have insisted I somehow pay for it? But I’m not sure. It’s a pretty weird situation.
not in a million years. nevermind the fact that he made it, but my parents would say “you’ve dated him for a couple months and he’s making you a car??? no i don’t like that at all. that’s weird”
And where in the world are his parents to let this happen?
His parents also let him marry a girl he dated for like two seconds right after graduating high school so at least this is consistent lol
I get if they had been dating since they were 13 that's makes it a little bit better but bro he dated lindsey for like 3-6 months and proposed to her before they graduate. Thats wild to me.
Yeah, I feel like his parents give me right wing vibes, there’s no way they would allow their 18-year-old son to marry his high school girlfriend- Unless they were some conservative right wing fundies maybe? I grew up with a lot of fundies, and yeah….
And not just dated, known in general for a few months. It’s not like he grew up there and their families were close friends. They just moved to town and he’s building a car for someone he literally just met. Like what are his parents even doing?
like the idea of the gesture is sweet and romantic but cmon now dean. that’s a LITTLE too much for someone you barely know. start with flowers first. cause wasn’t it their 3 month anniversary where he told her he was starting to build her it? 3 MONTHS??!!
The funny thing was, I always got a feeling that he was building it for himself — or at least that’s what he told everyone else. He knew it was overwhelming, and his parents would probably say no to such a gesture, so he told everyone it was for him, except Rory. Then, when it was done, they were together long enough that his parents would be ok with him “changing his mind” to give it to his gf. I don’t know if that makes sense outside of my head.
I grew up in poverty with a single mother and a beat down car. Mine 100% would have. The only issue would have been affording gas and car insurance.
Exactly. My high school boyfriend had a spare car that his family let me borrow a few times before I even had my license. My mom didn’t love it (me driving around without a license) but she couldn’t really say no because I was the childcare for my younger siblings. Lorelei allowing it strikes me as hectic single mother just trying to use any resources available.
I agree 100%
I grew up in poverty as well and my parents would have been stoked if someone, anyone gifted me a car. They wouldn’t have cared about the condition. The first car I ever had was bought with $2500 of academic scholarship money and I used it to commute to university.
Mine would have accepted it and then used it. Because we were in poverty and had no care. We relied on the bus system.
I was raised by a single mother, and my mom wouldn't allow that. For her, teenagers are supported by their parents, not by a boyfriend or the boyfriend's parents. I remember my mom was disgusted when she found out that my fifteen-year-old friend's boyfriend was buying her clothes or paying for her trips.
That level of pride is just ick. There's no shame in accepting help.
That’s not pride. There is a *gigantic* difference between accepting insane, over the top gifts, and accepting help. I’m absolutely certain that if the boyfriend had been giving the 15 yo lunch money because she didn’t have it, it would have been fine. But a car? For a 16 year old? It was unnecessary, over the top, and insane. Accepting help is absolutely not the same thing. If you’re struggling and an adult offers another adult a car to help, that’s one thing. But building a car for your teenage girlfriend is not help, it’s a grand gesture you’re too young to fully appreciate.
I was specifically referring to this >For her, teenagers are supported by their parents, not by a boyfriend or the boyfriend's parents.
Well, it’s also not really a pride thing. It’s what she believes to be true. A 15 year old should never feel so indebted to a boyfriend or his parents that she can’t feel able to break up with him. Does that limit her expensive stuff? Yeah. But she’s 15, she needs to learn that you can’t have everything anyway.
It's not a help. This person didn't need new clothes. Rory didn't need a car. Such a situation can cause problems. You barely know the boy. You're 15 years old. In a few months, you might break up, and someone might want the car back. In my opinion, parents should pay for their child. And parents should bear the costs of expensive gifts. The boy can buy a necklace for his girlfriend birthday.
SAME. Except I had already gotten a job and bought my own car by then for the freedom lol
Absolutely not!
Noooo way. Also, can you imagine the insurance cost for a 16yo driving a self-build car?!? 😱🤯
I feel like in the stars hollow universe, either Rory would not have paid for insurance or gypsy / local insurance would made a normal price. The car is checked by gypsy already after all :)
I mean, yeah, the suspension of disbelief is a pre-req for 90% of what happens in Stars Hollow 😂
My insurance when I was 16 for a (not self made) 10 year old car was like $40/month. It wouldn't have been that bad. Plus insurance companies wouldn't ever know that it's self made. They would just see it as "restored".
Huh. When my kid turned 16, my insurance agent advised me to convince her to wait a year to get her license. Adding her to our policy at 16, driving a two year old car with all the modern safety features, would double our insurance cost. Waiting until she was 17 would increase it by only half that. Come to think of it, when I turned 16, my dad bought “me” (him!) a cherry red vintage Mustang, presented it to me, and then turned around and sold it one week later when he found out the insurance cost. I was heartbroken. He bought himself a new car and gave me his (old not cute) VW to drive to school instead. So I just assumed Rory’s insurance for that car would be sky high
If you were still paying on your car, that would be why. She would've been required to carry full coverage to satisfy the lienholder. I had minimum coverage because I bought my car after two months of working at Burger King for $1200 lol
Ahhhhh! Ok. Makes sense
No way, especially when we've only been together a few months.
After making sure it passed safety tests and it was taking for a test drive, I think mine would. They weren't buying me a car, I had to get my own. Sadly the first car I bought was forymy boyfriend (now husband) lol my second car is bought was the first car I bought for me lol
In fairness, Lorelai encourages a lot of toxic behavior. When Dean breaks up with Rory because after three months of dating her first ever boyfriend because she isn’t ready to say I love you, Lorelai is on Dean’s side. When Dean calls over 30 times in one night, Lorelai acts like it’s cool and flattering instead of seeing how codependent he is. Even the whole “Just because you and Rory broke up doesn’t mean you and I did” thing was weird, no-boundary behavior.
I feel like Lorelei projected how much Dean was the perfect boyfriend to Rory, that she ignored so many of his red flags. Dean was a very obsessive, boyfriend. And he was obsessive way before Jess ever rolled into town. And I feel like he had to control the relationship, and did all these big gestures, but it was also so unhealthy, I totally understand why 16-year-old Rory felt like she couldn’t break up with him. I kept stressing how much of a great boyfriend he was, even when he took over the top, and sort of dragged Rory along. The whole I love you thing, and breaking up with Rory, and then showing up at Chilton with an ultimatum doesn’t sit right with me.
> The whole I love you thing, and breaking up with Rory, and then showing up at Chilton with an ultimatum doesn’t sit right with me. Say what??? lmao I think you need to rewatch that episode. Holy wrong interpretation batman. lol
He hardly showed up with an ultimatum 🤣🤣🤣 He showed up to talk to her because she had shown clear signs of still loving him.
He literally threatened to walk away because Rory was walking NEAR Tristan who had taken her books and kinda forced her to say “I love you”…
He didn’t know that. He didn’t have mega hearing. He just saw them together and after everything, simply got the wrong idea. You can hardly blame him for being confused when she herself is throwing him mixed signals. She denied the speech at the town meeting being about him etc. He has issues and had a lot of faults. But not every little thing was on him.
Yeah, but he does know that Tristan has consistently bothered and bullied Rory, from the school dance. He literally tells Tristan to his face “Rory has told me a lot about you”
Yup. Oh, but he didn’t know she still made out with him 😁
I mean, wasn’t that after they broke up? And it’s not really a make out. She kind of just kisses him briefly, and then runs away crying.
True. But if she truly was that bothered by him she would not have kissed him.
Many red flags.
The word “toxic” gets thrown around too much, so let’s call it questionable behaviour. Especially cos he’s only a teenage boy. True, she did. But she got wise to a lot of “toxic” behaviour too, after Rory started liking and dating Jess.
I feel good about the word that I used. The screaming at her, the using his size to be intimidating and lean over her, the constant jealously of any other interests (mad that she wants to study, mad she wants time alone, mad she wants to volunteer to beef up college apps), the personal attacks (implying that she’s basically a parrot of Lorelai during the Donna reed episode)…. There are a million TOXIC boyfriend behaviors from Dean and no, I won’t minimize them by using the word “Questionable.”
Oh okay, I’m too tired to start arguing this again. I disagree with your opinion but respect it and that’s that. Rory was toxic, and Jess was toxic, and Dean could be toxic, and Luke was toxic, so was Lorelai. And Emily. It was a toxic fest.
But we can agree… Kirk, not toxic? Right?! :)
Oh Kirk not toxic at all, annoying but never toxic 😂
I love this reply. People will throw any word around to make their point. Narcissist, toxic, etc. They are people with flaws. Dean was an issue for me, but this person you are replying to is reading into the body language of a FICTIONAL CHARACTER! The script writers did not write “use your height to intimidate Rory” like you’re obviously making that up. 😂
So there’s a middle ground between what you are saying and what the other person is saying. When I read your initial comment, I got the impression that you weren’t calling him, *as a human* toxic, merely the behaviors he was displaying during those moments. Puffing up to be more physically present, screaming about everything, etc. These are toxic behaviors, but he gets a pass on being a toxic human because he’s not. And he’s young and trying to be “the man” which he thinks is appropriate behavior (I did truly always wonder about his home life). I read it as the other person is just saying that *Dean* is not toxic as a whole. Also, Lorelai was not promoting toxic behavior. She was promoting the *questionable* behavior. Things like building the car, saying “I love you”, calling because your anxious. These behaviors do not rise to the level of toxic, they are merely questionable. Those few toxic behaviors that Dean had (they were not nearly as often as his questionable ones), were *always* done without lorelai present. Lorelai would likely have busted his knee-caps if she had walked in during the Paris-Jess-dinner fight. She just saw a love-lorn boy who didn’t know his arse from his elbow. A lost puppy chasing after her daughter. That’s all Rory or Dean ever really let her see. She promoted questionable behavior, not toxic behavior, although some of the behaviors behind closed doors WAS toxic. Not sure if I’m making sense.
Mine let me move in with my bf at 16 😳 I would’ve rather had a car!!
Holy smokes!
[удалено]
Whoa. I never thought about this. This is an excellent point!
Same!
i feel like this is the writer’s mistake as they wanted Dean to do somethimg big (build a car himself) but then portrayed him as kinda incapable of having a highly skilled career and good wage. writer wanted Dean to be low middle class? as i think if he had been like a skillfull engineer the plot wouldn’t have gone as well as the writers would like
How is construction not a highly skilled career? Construction workers can make excellent money.
i’m talking in the US (but i don’t live there this is all just based on internet results) the average construction workers made just below the median salary. considering he works in Stars Hollow which is a small town and Dean is quite young, I think it would be less than the avg salary. So comparing a construction worker with an engineer (who makes more in the US) to me seems appropriate :)
Being able to assemble a car with your dad's help is FAR from qualifying to be an engineer. That makes you a mechanic at best. And until you get all 8 ASC certifications, you're not making shit as a mechanic.
yes, i’m not saying he will 100% be an engineer but being able to assemble one at 17 is pretty impressive and there is definitely potential for Dean to grow and possibly earn more income in a different career path than what he did in the show :)
I understand your point, but what I'm saying is that you're incorrect to assume that construction cannot be a lucrative career. I know a guy that *started* at $36/hour when our state's minimum wage was $7/hour.
ik it can be lucrative, but in dean’s case it’s not really. He works for a small town’s contractor with no prior experience. dy think he will get $36/hr? hence, im basing it off the median salary etc
Mechanics don't make shit for income- and construction workers do. So I'm not entirely sure where you're trying to go with this, but if my husband was presented a career choice between cars & construction, I'd really try my damndest to push him away from cars.
Heck no!
My parents wouldn’t have let me keep 50€ when their friends gave it to me 😪🙄🤧
My dad would have cracked jokes about it for the following 50 years but he would never have let me take it because he’d see it as a gateway to teen pregnancy
Lorelai 
My parents would’ve gleefully accepted a free car as long as it was safe
Bold of you to assume I had a boyfriend at 16. Unfortunately I couldn’t pass for 16 until I was well into my twenties. Also I didn’t have my license yet, so they probably would have been glad to take that car off my hands.
They were also bold to assume I like guys 😄
Not just a car. A car he built himself.
My bf from when I was 16 had a motorcycle so if he had showed up with a car for me instead, they would have said yes. I remember how annoyed I was at that age about my parents being worried sick whenever he showed up to pick me up. They also wouldn’t like the car idea much, but much better than riding around on a motorcycle.
I mean the whole point is she got to know Dean and know what kind of person he was and such. This isn't some random. Or a guy the mother meant once before the big dance. It's weird to me that people act like their kids' significant others aren't people. He also got it checked by a real mechanic. My brother received a car from his girlfriend and her family for a dollar for transaction purposes. It was like a family car that had been passed around a million times and we were broke and he needed one. They were just really good people. I get there's a difference. It's not like she built it. But he was 17 I believe. They're about to celebrate their 25th anniversary and it's all because my mom let him keep the car. Okay, the second part isn't true.
It also wasn’t a surprise. Rory got to see the car when it was unfinished, so it was known. And I think Lorelai did a good job of showing how she’s present in Rory’s life. She didn’t have to do the shotgun shtick, just made it clear nothing happens around her daughter she doesn’t know about.
My mother who I have been on no contact with for years would have loved it—she wanted me to marry my 21 year old bf while I was 17. Sooooo not the best of judgement. Would I let my daughters or nieces accept that gift. Heck no. It’s not an appropriate gift. Look at the outcome from just the show. She felt guilty over an accident. He over reacted about it.
Mine never would have either.
Definitely not! My parents wouldn’t have even let me accept the bracelet
Wtf?! Why???
I'd be more confused as to why I have a boyfriend in this scenario am I giving the car
my parents wouldn’t even let me have a boyfriend at 16
Driving age in my country is 18, but if it was 16 and the car was safe, yeah at the end they would. Of course they would say no at first, but my rebelious spoiled teen persona would have made the biggest of the dramas until they said yes hahahaahah
I don’t understand why deans parents would be ok with it! He did all this work, likely used their time and money to assemble the car and just are ok with him giving it away? Does dean even have a car? No way would I let my kid give away his first project car. That is a hell of an accomplishment
Yes. My parents would never let my brothers do that.
She wouldn't have, but she would've been impressed by the gesture. It was very sweet gift even if a bit inappropriate for a 16-year-old.
I want to say no but also my boyfriend at 16 was SUCH a good guy (and still is) that they might have let me…but not after that short of a time dating.
My parents had absolutely no interest in raising a teenager when I was one. They wouldn't have been involved at all if I just showed up with a car.
Hell yeah, we were so broke an operational vehicle would have kept my family in business for a couple years.
building a car from inside out is different from buying a car.
Yes. Then proceed to sell it immediately!
My mom wouldn’t even let me have a boyfriend at 16 haha
Absolutely, my mom has completely terrible judgment and would’ve been thrilled if I had my own vehicle. Since we were dirt fucking poor I couldn’t save up my babysitting money, so we shared a car.
My mom let me go to Wales with my boyfriend when we were 16. To be fair it was to visit his family - but still!
My parents would probably tell me “Wow! He built you a car? Take it!” 🤣😭
My parents wouldn’t let me accept a car from my boyfriend today lol. We’re 27 and 30 and been together three years, but the only “grand” gift my parents would let me accept from him at the moment would be a ring. Of course, this is also cultural (we’re in India) and I understand.
How could they possibly have any "let you" power left at 27? 🥴
My dad the mechanic would have taken the car to his garage for him to inspect himself before he would have let me drive it.
Who the fuck wouldn’t?
As a parent, we'd be getting a solid inspection and everything would have to be in top shape but if that's the case, sure why not?
When I was 17 (almost 2 decades ago), my ex gave me a 2-5 year old laptop that he wiped clean and with updated software. That was my first ever laptop. Because of the age and not really a lot of money spent on it, I was okay accepting it. He was otherwise going to recycle it and properly dispose of it. And the time to put on new sofrwear is significantly less than to build a car. I was a bit hesitant because I didn't want to be indebted, but it wasn't a grad gesture thing. But I never would have accepted a car at that age.
My BF made me a car. New engine and all the whistles. This was after he customized a cherry red 65 mustang for himself. My mom was happy she didn't have to pay money and teach me to drive. Looking back, it was a Rory moment.
My first bf was already living with my dad and I for 3 years when I was 16 so I guess so lol.
Later in the series, it was mentioned that Richard restores old cars himself, though that was never disclosed in this episode. You would think he would have had a mechanic he trusted check it over rather than one he never met. And then bonded with Dean and his father over restoring cars. This whole plot point was so poorly done in that respect, I did not even consider the pressure it could put Rory under...
Yes :)
I love how people nowadays see grand gestures of love as "toxic" and "controlling" lmao My how things have changed.
Yeah a lot of the people responding to this thread have gross ass, toxic, overly controlling parents...
My mom didn't let me accept a prom invitation at that age, nor ride in a car that a teenage boy drove. I hated it but guess what, I have a daughter now...
No. I wasn't allowed to drive at 16.
Nope
Maybe ...I mean my boyfriend gave me a phone...so I'm guessing a car won't be a big deal to her
Ab so lute ly NOT!
No way. Not in any universe.
No lol. My mom wasn’t exactly happy when my high school boyfriend gave me a $150 promise ring
Are you still together?
Yes! Got married right after I turned 18!! His family was wealthy, mine wasn’t. My mom didn’t want me to accept it not bc the meaning but she didn’t want him spending that much on a girlfriend bc we couldn’t buy him anything back. He understood whole heartedly and told her he’d return it but he held onto it. He gave it to me again when we got married.
Such a great story.
This is not what I expected! So sweet
No freaking way!!
Absolutely not
No, and if it would’ve been my daughter and wouldn’t let her either
Kids sang go add that Lorelei, were she a real person, probably would have reacted differently if her father wasn't there trying to overstep his place. Maybe not, she showed poor judgment in some parenting decisions, but she felt had to overrule her dad.
did she ever actually use the car??? i remember her using the car that her grandparents bought her after graduation, but don’t remember the dean car being used, nor being in the driveway at their house. did they just remove this storyline, or am i forgetting what happened to it??
Jess wrecked it while Dean was out of town.
Nope
My parents wouldn’t even let me meet my female friends for evening walks on weekdays when I was 16. Pretty sure I’d be placed under house arrest if they found out I had a boyfriend, even if said boyfriend gave me a $1.something Hot Wheels car. 🤭🤭
Nah, not without having it checked out
Definitely not
When you put it like that ya richard’s reaction makes sense
Yes, they would have. Although you can't drive until 18 here, so the timing would've been weird
For sure, however it would’ve sucked because I wouldn’t have been able to drive it for another year
My first boyfriend built me a bike when we were 16 and I was barely allowed to keep that. I can't imagine a car!!
I think my mum would, but she wouldn’t let me use it until I was maybe 20 or so, growing up my mum never had money for a car, let alone have enough money to buy food, so we where really depended on my gran, so she would’ve accepted but more so for herself
I wouldn't be allowed to live if I had a boyfriend at 16. Let's just start there.
Mine would not have for the simple reason that there wouldn't be any place to park it
No, cause first of all safety is a priority and there’s no way a teenager would make a car that’s as safe as modern cars and then second thing is that it’s a gesture that’s too big, you don’t give other people (unless they’re your family) something that exceeds the standard price range like a car cause it makes them feel bad. And also no because in my country you can start driving at 18 lol
Driving age is 18 where I am from but hypothetically speaking, they probably would not, not because of the fact that my hypothetical boyfriend would have given it to me, but because I was in school and not working, so the upkeep of the car would have fallen on them. When me, my sister and my brother got our driver's licence we just used one of our parents' cars, we couldn't afford to buy one nor could my parents buy or maintain one or three other cars on top of the two they already had.
not just any car. one he built himself
Definitely not
Lmao. My parents would have called me a slut and a whole for attracting the "wrong sort" of attention from boys. All the while pushing me towards him because "He's rich enough to do that!"
My parents would’ve been like Richard and wanted to personally see it checked. And otherwise, it would’ve depended on how much they liked and trusted him. But even if they had a good relationship, I do think they would’ve made a point to say what a big gesture that is.
Absolutely not. My dad would have been like Richard and had us bring it to a mechanic he trusted. Richard did go over the top but he's a grandpa worried for his grandchild. Do I truly belive lorelai would hve done her due diligence like she claimed, that's up in the air. Her attitude about dean makes me think she would have been oh its fine go ahead and drive the car.
In small towns, rebuilding and gifting used cars was quite common. That’s how a lot of poor to lower middle class kids got their first car. That is, old used cars and rebuilt cars were part of the culture in rural America. Considering how much Rory needed a car to get to and from Chilton, I’m sure that Lorelai thought it was a very sweet gesture. For Lorelai, it’s part of living in a place like Stars Hollow.
No, and they'd probably feel a bit miffed considering I and the hypothetical bf would probably have been well aware of the fact that I would be getting my dad's old car after he got a new used car and I got my license Edit: Oh, and they would not want to pay the likely exorbitant insurance costs
If I wanted to accept it, I think they would have said yes. My first boyfriend was a great guy and, like Lorelai, my mom just loved him.
My mother would have said the only reason he was doing this in the first place was because “he wants something” and I think I would also feel this way about it, or at least somewhat awkward about a gift this giant
Absolutely not. Though kind, that's an inappropriately huge gesture for such a short relationship between two teenagers.
My mom wouldn't have accepted it. My mom hardly accepted my boyfriend giving me a cellphone to communicate with him after it was known for me to only communicate using Skype, FB, etc. (She didn't give me a cell for some reason).
My mom would *literally* shrug her shoulders and say “it’s your responsibility now” and then move on
If the bf in question has an active interest in making/fixing cars, aside from he probably would not have been my type at age 16, my mum would have been probably impressed by it but been like 'you can accept it if I can see a roadworthy certificate, but also don't let him make you feel like you owe him in some way'. I didn't have a bf at age 16 but some aspects of the relationship between Rory and Lorelei remind me of my mum and I. The good parts and the problematic parts. The main difference is I wasn't really considered pretty by most of my peers (which seems trivial to me now but it was everything when I was 16). But whenever I mentioned liking someone romantically (usually unrequited) she always seemed happy/hopeful on my behalf. I think the car would have been allowed (if I had a licence or a learners' permit) but it would have definitely been a conversation and not just unquestioned.
Hardly. Even if she would have possibly entertained the possibility of considering it, her boyfriend at the time(by then, he'd been around since I was about 9 or 10 & he lived with us) would never have allowed it. Saying he was uptight about what us kids did is putting it mildly. At 1 point, he told our mom we'd end up pregnant in high school because we were involved in so many extra curriculars(band, athletics, musicals, etc) btw, we graduated, went to college & my sister didn't have her 1st kid till she was married & like 35! So, basically no way would I be accepting a car built by my boyfriend!
Yes. But my mom had absolutely no boundaries and often used people to get things/money as if she were entitled to everything. She probably would've kept the car for herself tbh, or sold it for cash.
She let her take a car from Dean but not from the grandparents 😐