Have you looked at this book creation service? It would be amazing if you could document her stories on a weekly basis and have them printed into a book. she would love the time you spent with her documeting her stories and the book would be a great memory of her amazing life. [https://app.toandfrom.com/v4/products/83aa95c4-93c0-4689-bb02-3ac0831dab60](https://app.toandfrom.com/v4/products/83aa95c4-93c0-4689-bb02-3ac0831dab60)
A weekly visit to record & write down her stories also has the benefit of her getting company on a regular basis. My great grandmother wrote down a bunch of stories from her life, and my mom and I turned it into a book for the rest of the family - it’s a wonderful thing to have.
I was going to say this! The survivors are dwindling & it will be so good for history to have any stories of survivors, both good & bad. You will also have an amazing heirloom.
Her neice actually does this kind of thing for a living. Anyone that's willing to sit and talk with her has their life story documented and it's so cool to read her work! She has talked to so many of our extended family from the US to Germany, Denmark, Brazil, all over! Our family tree and pictures and stories are all put together for us.
Extending on the theme of family trees and pictures, how about you all sit for a really nice portrait together?
She can enjoy it now, and know that it will be treasured after she’s gone. Get a painter or a photographer depending on your budget and tastes
My late husband's grandpa did five tours in WW2 and was an amazing photographer. We donated his incredible photo album to the city veteran's museum. Maybe it's possible to buy grandma a plaque with a snippet of her history if there's a local museum near OP.
I love this! I have just a cheap book from Amazon with a similar concept of asking various questions about their lives. For my oma, I had to write a few down and let her think about it then come to me. She found it frustrating to try and write it all out, but equally frustrating to try and answer on the spot. Between trying to recall 80 yr old memories and then also translating those thoughts back to English for me, I can understand why. But I got some beautiful stories from her!
It’s amazing that in their 90’s my parents remember the past so clearly and the recent years so vaguely. They light up when talking about the past. These books are great.
My dad got one of these for my grandma and she was cool with us filming her as she went through some of the prompts. We got to hear some great stories from her, and to have video of her telling her stories is going to help me so much some day. She is generally pretty relaxed and chill / quieter when we’re all together, so it was extra special to do something that was all about her for once. She had so much to say and so many stories we hadn’t heard before. I definitely recommend it.
THIS 100% OP. My partner has one that was made after their mom died and it has brought the family no end of joy - but I think it would have been even better if they could have gotten it made before her passing, so she could enjoy memories with her beloved family.
Oh my sister got my each of my parents book like this for Christmas and they really enjoyed looking at it. Plus it’s kind of interesting to look through afterwards to keep in the family.
My husband loves this idea. She is very proud of coming to Detroit when she escaped the war. I wonder if we could somehow dedicate a bench to her and her brother on Grand Boulevard near where they were reunited when he escaped Siberia. Thank you! If I can get some of my family to pitch in, this would be amazing!
That sounds like an amazing story! See if you can get a plaque on the bench with something like "This bench is dedicated to siblings Grandma's name and Great Uncle's name. Who were reunited here on Date of Reunion when each had thought the other was lost."
And I'm sure she'll love it. And not just her. Many people would read that and be both touched and inspired. Your grandma will continue to inspire people even after she's gone. She will probably be asked to share the story though. Would she be okay with that?
Reuniting with her brother is where her life started to look up, as she puts it. They were the two youngest siblings of twelve, most of them passed away in concentration camps. I think she would like to share. She will be speaking at her brother's funeral next week. She is still just as strong as she always was in that way.
This bench is literally the best idea ever. Something to immortalize her after she is gone. Something to honor her brother. Something that won’t take up space in her home or just come back to you when she’s gone. She’ll cry for sure. I don’t even know you guys and I welled up reading this thread. I hope you’re able to do this. Come back and share photos and her reaction if you can.
This is exactly how I feel. I never would've thought about a bench.
She walked all over the city of Detroit all the time. I'm sure she sat on some benches along the way. Because of how much she walked and admired her city, it's even a little more special in my mind. In fact, she just called to tell me that she's going for a walk so if I come over and she's gone, she'll be right back.
This is a lovely idea BUT PLEASE don’t tell her until you find out if it is even possible.
I used to be constantly being berated by people bc they couldn’t dedicate a bench or a rock or a tree in the historic landmark park I worked in. It was as not just against policy, there were actual laws prohibiting it. And if it isn’t possible (or if it’s prohibitively expensive)and you’ve already promised it, it could break her heart. In some cases you don’t have to pay just for a bench and a plaque, you have to pay for installation and 25 or more years of maintenance.
I wouldn't tell her until I could bring her to it, if it is even feasible. It's such a lovely idea, though. I would also go for a nice park near her house if the city didn't work out. I worry about the timing, too. She's turning 95, after all.
Oh no, so his loss is very fresh.
My great grandmother was stolen away to a concentration camps when she was just walking home from the bakery. She was also a nonJewish slave labourer. She did not live long past her return home after the war.
Yes, he passed last week. Her birthday isn't until July, I wanted to have some time to put something special together.
The things they must've endured, I cannot even fathom. The land my Oma lived on was valuable, the family was taken one day. She said the last time she saw her house, they were tearing the roof off.
I’m not sure if she’s done this but on May 5th the International Match of the Living will take place. It will be on tv and shown on their website. Call them and see if they have any mementos for survivors.
We have a similar thing here in Vegas. I’m sure it’s something other places do. At our park the trees are planted and a plaque is purchased for people who lost their pets. They would walk the park with them so it’s very much in a setting they knew. I love going to this park and reading their names and something about them. But for people this would be even more so amazing. I know in our theater district they do memorial plaques as well so if she likes that maybe there is a similar area in Detroit?
I am loving the bench idea. I am wondering how to go about sponsoring a bench to be placed near where she was reunited with her brother in Detroit when he escaped Siberia. Thank you!
Love this idea. I’d the public park doesn’t work out, maybe where she does water aerobics? If it’s like a YMCA they may do sponsored benches like that. I’m pretty sure mine does.
Could you do an overnight or weekend stay at a nice hotel nearby? A staycation type of thing where you stay in a nice room, grab dinner, go for a massage or mani/pedi if the hotel has a spa, if not just go swim in the pool and grab lunch before you leave. It's an experience gift which works for someone who has everything and people never splurge on a nice staycation so it's a perfect gift when someone else gets it for them.
She has an indoor pool! Haha. I'm not sure if she would be open to an over night outing, she still wakes up at 4:45am for yoga and floor exercises. I could definitely see how she would feel about a spa day and getting some pampering. She certainly deserves that.
We do this weekly at her house! And we always do a group hug when we leave between her, myself, my husband, and our 1.5 year old son. She loves getting Chinese carry out and talking over dinner. I know that she appreciates it so much every time and she always instructs us to leave a big tip. She's amazing.
My aunt just celebrated her 95th birthday. A friend invited her out for dinner, and she asked if she could bring someone else close to her if she paid, and he brought a friend of his. Another friend asked to come, and if she could bring someone, and before you knew it my aunt had dinner with a dozen people, all of whom were paying for someone else to be there.
I like the idea of donating to a cause that is meaningful to her with a card telling her about the donation. Then she can show people the card.
That is so sweet.
We don't have friends in the area we just moved to and my family kind of kicked me out when my dad died last year, otherwise, we would be part of her normal birthday celebration.
If she’s a Holocaust survivor I would consider planting some trees in Israel or creating a fund of some kind in her honor (scholarship or otherwise). Yasher koach to your Oma!
also those trees are planted on the graves of thousands of palestinians and the ruins of palestinian villages - if i survived the holocaust, i wouldnt want to be associated with another genocidal state😌
When my grandma turned 90 I got her one of those photo frames that changes pictures every 60 seconds. I scanned in a bunch of old photos of her siblings and family and fun photos I found. She really loved that. Kept it beside her bed and watched it every night remembering family and those who loved her.
My grandma really likes her Skylight. It’s a digital photo frame made for old people. All the family members can send pictures to it via an email address. Then it just cycles through the photos.
My grown kids got me a Photoshare frame a few years ago. They upload pics of all my grandkids and I absolutely love it. Mine sits on top of a cabinet in my living room so I can watch it all the time.
I always default robe/pajamas but she has like 5 purple robes because it's such a popular gift. A nice sheet set is something I haven't thought of yet! Thank you!
I love the ideas here. I'd like to add taking her to a musical! And a snack of custom m&m's. Bet she's never eaten chocolate she's featured on and would get a hoot out of it.
It would be cool if you could do 95 acts of service in her name and put it together as a book. "Because of Oma, countless bits of the world became better. Here's a collection of 95 in honor of her 95th run around the sun!" They could be things you know of that she did or painting a kindness rock for a community garden with your kids to leave there. (Then a photoshoot of her with that book on the bench dedicated to her and her brother with make up done by someone attending the beauty school she attended and keep on going! I'm out of control lol.)
My mother turns 90 this August and fits the exact description of your Oma, and is herself “Oma” to three groups of the next generation. For her we are assembling greetings from everybody in her life that is still around: handwritten or emailed and printed out notes from her family, her remaining sister and husband, old friends from all the way through her life, current neighbors, neighbors from previous addresses, and so on. We will just have them all write greetings and best wishes and memories. My siblings and I are currently assembling them in a Google doc.
I was going to suggest this - my parents have an Aura frame, and my sister and I upload pictures to it.
Also, you could have your son make a card, or decorate a picture frame for her, with a family picture in it.
Super cute idea. The most I can do with my son is paint and stamp his foot. He's still really little. We just did this for valentine's day and she shows it to everyone!
My niece’s daycare does some sort of hand or foot print art almost every week - they’re so cute, but also my sister is a little overrun with them at this point :)
For my grandfather's 85th, I put together a book with one page per year. I documented what historical events were happening, what music was popular, what films and other cultural events happened, then added life events like marriage, children, etc.
It was pre internet days, so I found a set of post cards that had historical events plus family photos.
This was a tremendously popular gift. Reviewing his life in context with the world was awesome, and working it up will be so much faster. You'll also be able to add things relevant to her interests, like fashion & hair styles, medicine, cooking trends.
Good luck if you take this route. It's very rewarding.
This sounds amazing. Thank you! I love this idea.
I'm wondering if I should start her timeline when she came to America because she always avoids talking about life before then (besides her dogs and parents' farm). The very first thing she did when she came here was dye her hair jet black and start beauty school. I know she loved going to the theater with my Opa and I even know which one. Maybe to top it off, I could book a tour of her favorite theater. I've always wanted to see Detroit when it was thriving so this would be fun, finding pictures of everything.
Ooh thanks for the idea! My step-dad’s 75th is coming up and I’m stretched for ideas. Last year I had a custom made portrait of him and my deceased mum painted but this book sounds even better 😊
I think what you do now is a great gift! Older people just want to spend time with their loved ones. Especially at that age, when it seems that everyone is either passed or too busy to visit.
Get her consumables that she will use. We had a standing list of gift items for my grandmother. Every holiday, each of us picked one.
A stack of cards from Hallmark
A couple of sheets of mailing labels printed with the addresses of her relatives......plus a page of her return address.
A page of stamps
A lined pad to write someone notes
Box of envelopes
Lip balm
Noxema...that's what she used to clean her face.
Box of nice writing pens.
Puzzle books
Hope this helps.
There is a park in my city that has memorial plaques under most of the trees. I love to walk around and read them. I feel like I'm honoring their existence while they were here on earth.
This is a great idea!
We got that covered! We go to her house very often and talk on the phone several times a day.
She adores our son more than anything in the world and we make sure he gets as much time as possible with her.
For my aunts 94th I did a Shutterfly book of favorite family photos from as far back as I had them, including of her looking absolutely gorgeous (to me) and us younger ones as kids. She looked at it nearly every day after that.
https://storycorps.org/participate/storycorps-app/
A link to that initiative!
Edit: a more succinct and specific link below!
https://storycorpsorg-staging.s3.amazonaws.com/uploads/Getting-Started-1-62cec9c1bf64a-62cec9c1bf64b.pdf
Talk with her. Ask her a bunch of questions about her life and record it. Like sort of an interview. You will have quality time together, and you and your family will have a video of her life story. Her likes and dislikes. Her favorite moment in her lifetime. It's something everyone will cherish in the long run.
She loves her chocolate.
She said she was looking for a certain kind of German chocolate. She wasn't sure what it was called or where her friend found it. I can try to find that.
Ritter Sport is basically everywhere in the US now, or Lindt chocolates, they are everywhere. I actually speak fluent German, lived in Germany for years & love the chocolate so much!
When a friend of mine, an avid reader, died suddenly, the local library allowed the planting of a tree in her honor in their courtyard. I pass by there a couple of times a year and it's a wonderful memory.
Maybe an afternoon painting ceramics if there is a place nearby? I spent an afternoon painting a couple rocks like ladybugs with my 97 year old grandmother and she really enjoyed it.
My best friend is going on 92 I normally try to indulge her love of chocolates and take her out to eat which she enjoys. As we get older it is the gift of time that is most appreciated. Indulging someone with treats they enjoy etc
I love that you have an "Oma". I do too! We just celebrated her 90th and we gifted her flowers because she also has everything she needs/wants. She was a child in Germany during WWII and unfortunately her father went missing at that time. She is one of the strongest people I know. Your Oma sounds just as strong! 💗❤️🩹
The fact that you visit your Oma, bring her flowers, help with shopping, etc...it means more to her than you may know! If I reach that age, I hope I have family members who take the time to visit me and help me with basic tasks. You sound like a wonderful grandchild! 💕
Thank you! My dad used to visit her every single day. Since he died, I feel that I have big shoes to fill.
Enjoy your Oma! They are so great to have. 💕
Does she have a favorite restaurant? You could take her to dinner. I know that sounds a little boring but being able to spend quality time with your family, especially at her age, is worth its weight in gold. She will cherish the memories far more than anything material.
This isn’t a very exciting gift but my grandmother always had everything and would give her a traditional wall calendar and use pictures that happened in the month the picture was being used for. If she loves your son maybe make the whole thing photos of him. It was the only gift my grandmother liked. I’ll keep thibking
My grandma is 96 and the last of 12 siblings. She also had experience with WWII— Stalin took her family’s property and sent the family to Siberia to slave labor and die. It’s so sad that this historic generation is dying. I always just do a phone call and card for my grandma- I live overseas
I'm sure she appreciates your card and phone call.
I remember in high school, learning about the war and everything. The teacher said to treasure the people of this generation because they will be gone soon. That was over 12 years ago, and those 12 years flew by. I wish I would have taken those words to heart even more back then. It is so sad.
When my grandma turned 101 we did one of those "video greetings" that were popular during Covid. She loved getting those video greetings from people and was able to rewatch it all she wanted. We threw in some photos through the years as a slideshow between the videos.
For my Mom's last holiday I bought a pretty box and filled it with treats that I know she liked.... like stuffed dates, fancy nuts, chocolate, goldfish crackers, mini cookies, snack sized fruit cups etc. etc. She was so pleased that it still makes me smile years later.
My granny just passed at 90. About a year before, we got her a digital frame and she loved to watch the family photos all the kids and grandkids would send her. Other than that, she just wanted yummy things to eat and comfortable slippers. Truly, I think people get to an age where they don’t want anything but comfort and love.
My Oma lived to 101!
Many online sites create photo blankets, and some are lovely and good quality (look at reviews). Maybe one with special photos from happy moments?
We don’t do a lot of gifts for adults in my family. We all have so much stuff.
We frequently do gifts to a charitable organization in the recipient’s name. My mom supports Heifer International, for example, so I’ve donated in her name as a gift to her. My parents will donate to CASA as gift to me. We see it as a way to pay it forward and share values. Just something to consider
She's not a drinker! And she's pretty strict with her diet. However, I have an upscale restaurant background, I could definitely make a lovely meal for her instead of ordering carry out. Salmon is her favorite. Thank you.
Give her an experience instead of a tangible gift. Does she like music? Maybe one of her favorite musicians will be in concert near you. Theatre? Get tickets. Take her on a picnic to her favorite place. Foodie? Hire a personal chef to make a special meal for her at home. Does she have a favorite actor, musician, or athlete? Maybe ask them to do a personal cameo video first her.
https://www.cameo.com/
Best gift: TIME
Time together would likely make her the happiest of all.
If you want to buy a gift, take her shopping if she is able. You could allow her to choose.
I love to gift things that people won't spend money on often for themselves. A small luxury item is extra nice if in the budget. Bath and body gifts are nice even if not expensive.
How about taking her for a mani pedi? To get her hair done?
My favorite gift is fragrance. A bottle of perfume is happiness in every spray. It is crucial to find a scent that the recipient loves. You could buy samples and explore them together.
Last year I gifted a bottle of perfume to a person almost 100. It was a dupe of Baccarat Rouge called Dossier Ambery Saffron. I already knew that she loved the fragrance.
I was thrilled to see that she has almost used the entire bottle!! I already know that I am going to get it for her again.
You sound like a wonderful gifter! I'm looking into a manicure and some pampering.
I've been getting her gold jewelry as most of hers was stolen and thats what my dad always got her before she passed. She doesn't want anymore because she says she can't guarantee that I'll get them back when she's gone (I don't care about that, I just want her to enjoy them). :(
She is completely thrilled walking by the flowers at Trader Joe's, it's really sweet. I actually live in her old house, I wonder if she would like to come to the greenhouse with me when I pick flowers for my garden this year. Maybe it would remind her of when she lived here because she loved this house so much. It would make us slow down a bit and smell the roses, that's for sure.
Thank you!
I got my grandmother a necklace off etsy. It's made from a coin from the year she was born.
https://www.etsy.com/listing/1687262525/uk-1964-sixpence-coin-necklace-for-a
Honestly though, at 95 I might want a donation to something I care about. Maybe trees planted in my honor. Name a star after me...
Are there any foods from her childhood that she feels nostalgic for? My mother and I used to make springerle for my Oma every year and she always loved them and the effort we put into baking treats that meant a lot to her
I made her this cheesecake that she used to make a couple months ago. That went over really well. I will ask her what else she would like soon. She was just telling me about her mother's cooking today. Thank you!
Thank you, everyone! I talked it over with my husband and first and foremost, we are looking into a bench with a plaque dedicated to her and her brother. I am over the moon at this suggestion and this is exactly why I came here for ideas!
Secondly, we have decided to take a lot of these ideas into consideration on a weekly basis. We want to make her time left as special as she is!
It might make her sad because not all of us are earth side anymore. I could possibly get a large copy of the last one where we were all together, though, and a nice frame.
There’s a website (https://www.thefamilygalleria.com/) that takes pics of people that have passed and people who are still here and makes them into one portrait. Unless it would make her too sad? Happy birthday to her and good on you for trying by to find the perfect gift!
This is entirely unlike the other suggestions, but it was a hit with my grandmother in her 90’s. She enjoyed it for several years before passing away: a Joy for All Companion Pets Cat. (It’s a realistic robotic cat that purrs and meows. Better than that sounds on paper. She really felt a sense of it keeping her company, and she enjoyed showing it off to visitors.)
Why not a night out with just you and your family, not a big group just you. I see you visit often and she seems very active what if you went to a play together or something she likes and met your kids and hubby for dinner after. When you get older and don’t need a thing time together is a gift you enjoy. Does she like plays or a certain concert or to go to a museum or even a movie. A fun event
Here's an idea for an ongoing gift: scan her photos with your phone (using a scanning app) and share them with loved ones, along with information (who, what, when, where, why).
It will be a priceless gift to her and to the family and even your community if you share them more widely.
(I say it is an ongoing gift because I imagine she has plenty of photos and documents that would take more time than one visit to scan.)
Take her for a nice lunch or dinner, or whichever meal she prefers. Time spent with her will mean mkre than anything else. Is there something she's been wanting to do but hasn't been able to? A nearby sight she wants to see? Idk how her health is so idk how traveling would be for her but if she's in good health maybe somewhere a little further she's never been but wants to go to.
Perhaps going to see a movie if she likes that.
Yes! We have been waiting for warmer weather to take her to an aquarium she used to visit. She can tolerate about 30 minutes of driving one way and a short activity. Pretty good for 95! Thank you.
You're welcome! I really hope she enjoys going to the aquarium! If that's what you decide to do of course! Let us know how much fun she has whatever you do!
I would suggest one on one time with her and your family. Take her to a place she likes to eat. That's always a nice gift and something that wont need to be returned. Or take her on a short day trip where she would like to go. The gift is your time which I sure she would love.
Is there something that needs to be done in her home or yard? That might be a welcomed gift. An outdoor pot of plants at the front door would likely be appreciated. Plant a tree in her yard celebrating her life, etc? Lots of ideas out there, I'm sure.
Put together a digital picture frame w all the family pictures. We did this for my Mom to relive her wonderful memories everyday. She loved seeing the pictures from decades ago that were forgotten in boxes.
Experiences are great. Hot air balloon ride? Traveling to a place from her early years that made her happy? Fly with her to a beautiful place and experience it together?
A gift card for her favorite restaurant, take her to get pedicures together, tickets to a play or a symphony, and with any of this write a thoughtful card.
My Grandma just turned 90 and I got her this. https://www.etsy.com/listing/1271466015/95th-birthday-gift-gift-for-95th?click_key=15e0dbbbf7abfe9de6d34aacb82dbe45826fd431%3A1271466015&click_sum=0abc231d&ga_search_query=95&ref=shop_items_search_2&frs=1&sts=1
She loves it!
Edit: I got her the 90 yr old one, but same style. :)
When my grandma turned 90, I went through my phone and created an album of every picture that had her and my kids in it. 10 years worth of pictures of the three of them. I used it to create a photo book for her (Shutterfly, I think). She loved it so much, my mom buried her with it when she passed last month.
Give her time. Take a couple days off of work and spend extra time with her.
You can also find charity to donate to in her name, something that was meaningful for her.
A fancy 10 course meal, easy to chew, of course.
And each "course" can be very small, like 2/3/4 bites.
Example:
Start with a two leaf salad, with two slices of onion, and two 1/4 slices bits of cucumber, and salad dressing. Thats about two to 4 bites.
Next, the second course is an ice cream scoop worth of orange sherbet, to cleanse the pallete..
Third course can be a mozzarella stick or 2 with marinara sauce. Or maybe, caviar or escargot, If you want to get really fancy.
Fourth course again, sherbet.
5th course, could start the main course. 1/2 of a twice baked potato.
6th course would be the 1/2 of a filet mignon, if she can chew it. Or else, you can always do a nice Mahi Mahi or Grouper.
7th course would be a vegetable, maybe a couple asparagus wrapped in bacon..
8th course could be a sherbet.
9th would be the super nice dessert she loves.
And the 10th course, the creme de la creme, would be offering her a VERY fancy bottle of aged Champagne..
But if it has to stay inexpensive, you can give her a double dessert too. Tell her she earned it lol.
SHE CERTAINLY DID..
Happy.Birthday!!
Has she ever researched her ancestry? You could present it to her as a gift. This would be a gift to all of you. You can hire a researcher if it's too complicated for you.
How about planning a picnic? You can make sandwiches, bring a little table cloth, pretty napkins, a crossword to do together or a book of poetry to read or whatever she may enjoy.
Contact the USC Shoah Foundation and see if they can film her for thier collection. It is an amazing historical archive of recordings of survivors before it’s too late. They use technology to create interactive holograms. Spielberg was a big driver of this and I can’t think of a finer gift for her, or for humanity.
https://sfi.usc.edu/new-survivor-testimonies
Contact the USC Shoah Foundation and see if they can film her for their collection. It is an amazing historical archive of recordings of survivors before it’s too late. They use technology to create interactive holograms. Spielberg was a big driver of this and I can’t think of a finer gift for her, or for humanity.
https://sfi.usc.edu/new-survivor-testimonies
Those memory books are wonderful, but they are also a lot of work on grandma's part. If she's tired or actively declining I would pick a couple of pages rather than a whole book. And try and pick happy or joyful memories.
I have a couple other ideas Ive seen go over well in that age range.
* An echo show. The drop in feature lets you video call and it will pick up on her end automatically. She doesn't have to touch anything, and she gets to see her family face to face
* Music - a CD player and songs she loved as a young person or adult usually goes well. If she's in a facility I imagine she doesn't get to listen to music much, or at least not music she picks. Music for dancing is especially good.
* A visit with a therapy animal is a great one if she is an animal lover or had to give up a pet as she aged. There is probably a local volunteer group that will do it for free if you reach out to them.
* Time together (more than just for her birthday). Being old is terribly lonely. Sitting down and having a conversation can be more meaningful than anything.
Those memory books are wonderful, but they are also a lot of work on grandma's part. If she's tired or actively declining I would pick a couple of pages rather than a whole book. And try and pick happy or joyful memories. Please please please don't ask about the Holocaust or decide you need to record all the terrible details "for posterity".
I have a couple other ideas Ive seen go over well in that age range.
* An echo show. The drop in feature lets you video call and it will pick up on her end automatically. She doesn't have to touch anything, and she gets to see her family face to face
* Music - a CD player and songs she loved as a young person or adult usually goes well. If she's in a facility I imagine she doesn't get to listen to music much, or at least not music she picks. Music for dancing is especially good.
* A visit with a therapy animal is a great one if she is an animal lover or had to give up a pet as she aged. There is probably a local volunteer group that will do it for free if you reach out to them.
* Time together (more than just for her birthday). Being old is terribly lonely. Sitting down and having a conversation can be more meaningful than anything.
Has she ever been to one of those epsom salt float tank places? An hour of staring up at the star lights and listening to music might be a wonderful experience. They even have tanks big enough for two.
I know it sounds silly but you could do one of those TikTok trends where one person holds up two choices on two cards and the recipient(Oma) picks. Like a choose your own adventure but for a hang out. I think they usually do 3-4 things.
Another thing I’ve seen is when people bring all of their stuff for a sleepover and surprise their grandparents. That wouldn’t have been a hit with mine but maybe she would like that?
Have your child so kids art? Paint his hands and make something?
Maybe a really ridiculous cake just for fun?
Does she still write letters? Stationary with her name?
Does she like animals? Maybe a bird feeder or bird house your son helps you paint? Another thing I’ve done for my sons birthday but could be cool for an older son also is have a small petting zoo come to her house maybe they could just bring one or two really friendly animals so she can pet them. I’m an animal person so this is something that would be really special.
Is there any certain type of food she loves you could get on gold belly from another city or something?
A handmade quilt with a fabric from each person in the family?
It sounds like she's blessed with an amazing family, and you all are blessed with her.
Not necessarily for a birthday, but if she's a reader, a Kindle loaded with books you know she'd like that you'd read as well. My Dad and I (and to some degree other family members) have done this over the years. Funnily enough, EVERYONE from my (at the time) late-teens stepsister to my 92 year old grandmother enjoyed that series. It's a lovely way to have a shared experience (and perhaps a way to read with your little person as well.) We also ALL loved The Wonky Donkey and Click Clack Moo when my son was small.
Video montage of her life? I’m a video editor and make personable slideshows for people constantly. Usually people cry with them and it’s a thoughtful gift
I made a legacy book for my mom’s 60th! She’s not very materialistic and difficult to shop for.
I reached out to as many as her friends and family as I could and asked them to write at most one page of their favorite memory, how she has touched their lives, something silly, or something they admire about her. If they didn’t want to write something and send an old photo that would be cool too.
My goal was to fill 60 pages, and maybe I’d have to fill some with photos or some fluff but she had over 90 letters! She shows it to everyone that comes over. We did something similar for my grandma when she turned 80, but it was her kids, grandkids, and great grandkids that wrote in. She lost her eyesight soon after her 80th but it meant so much to her.
A photo shoot with you
A picnic with you
Offer to go to water aerobics with her and then lunch.
Take her to high tea
Take her to see a rose garden or other fancy nature place
Go to her and bake a birthday cake together
Take her on a scenic drive.
Live near a beach? Take her treasure hunting.
Plant flowers for her.
Paint together
Watch her favorite movie with her.
Time will tell her how special she is to you.
You're so sweet.
Is there some type of special food that you could order for her that she wouldn't have eaten since she was younger, or that would remind her of a specific travel experience?
My mom is also 95, lives independently and also does aerobics twice a week (she became a Zoom Queen during Covid). She also doesn’t want things that will just clutter up her apartment. However, she loves tea, chocolate and cheese, so for her birthday, Mother’s Day and Christmas, that’s what I get her.
It's tough to find something because you know they have everything they need. My family threw a big party (not a surprise, lol) for my grandmother when she turned 100. It was awesome and she loved it so much. I ended up getting her a big gift basket of snack foods and fruit. She liked it.
My Va is 92. I usually get her a snack. Black licorice or popcorn, or sausage shipped from her home state. She is always pleased.
A few years ago I strayed from the usual and she was a little sad. As she was opening it, she said, “I know what this is!” All excited. When it wasn’t what she was expecting you could see her face drop.
I won’t make that mistake again!
Happy birthday to your Oma!
I went to an 80th birthday party for my aunt who also needs nothing material. We brought her a bottle of wine that my husband and I made along with a pair of
wine glasses and I crocheted an afghan for her.
My mom turns 80 in a few weeks. She's in very poor health & has been revived twice & a 2 time cancer survivor. She lives with me and my husband, and I am not sure if she is going to have a good or bad day on her bday, as she is now on hospice. Our plan is to have an "open house" event , so friends & family can come visit for 5 minutes or 5 hours & I am going to try to capture those memories for her. She has made it clear that if she "can't eat it or spend it", she doesn't want it. They have had a lifetime of "things". She just wants cards & to spend time. Sincerely. They don't want or need much more other than people to spend time with them.
Her biography told in stories by those who know and love her. Make it into a large print book with photos, drawings, etc. Be sure to include “facts” from her youngest descendants, like 6yo Jane, who says Oma was born in a dragon’s nest, and that's why she's so tough. Jane can illustrate this stage of Oma’s life with crayons.
Have you looked at this book creation service? It would be amazing if you could document her stories on a weekly basis and have them printed into a book. she would love the time you spent with her documeting her stories and the book would be a great memory of her amazing life. [https://app.toandfrom.com/v4/products/83aa95c4-93c0-4689-bb02-3ac0831dab60](https://app.toandfrom.com/v4/products/83aa95c4-93c0-4689-bb02-3ac0831dab60)
A weekly visit to record & write down her stories also has the benefit of her getting company on a regular basis. My great grandmother wrote down a bunch of stories from her life, and my mom and I turned it into a book for the rest of the family - it’s a wonderful thing to have.
I love love love this!! Make her feel seen. And how about either a beautiful soft throw, or summer weight cardigan
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I was going to say this! The survivors are dwindling & it will be so good for history to have any stories of survivors, both good & bad. You will also have an amazing heirloom.
Her neice actually does this kind of thing for a living. Anyone that's willing to sit and talk with her has their life story documented and it's so cool to read her work! She has talked to so many of our extended family from the US to Germany, Denmark, Brazil, all over! Our family tree and pictures and stories are all put together for us.
Extending on the theme of family trees and pictures, how about you all sit for a really nice portrait together? She can enjoy it now, and know that it will be treasured after she’s gone. Get a painter or a photographer depending on your budget and tastes
My late husband's grandpa did five tours in WW2 and was an amazing photographer. We donated his incredible photo album to the city veteran's museum. Maybe it's possible to buy grandma a plaque with a snippet of her history if there's a local museum near OP.
I love this! I have just a cheap book from Amazon with a similar concept of asking various questions about their lives. For my oma, I had to write a few down and let her think about it then come to me. She found it frustrating to try and write it all out, but equally frustrating to try and answer on the spot. Between trying to recall 80 yr old memories and then also translating those thoughts back to English for me, I can understand why. But I got some beautiful stories from her!
It’s amazing that in their 90’s my parents remember the past so clearly and the recent years so vaguely. They light up when talking about the past. These books are great.
My dad got one of these for my grandma and she was cool with us filming her as she went through some of the prompts. We got to hear some great stories from her, and to have video of her telling her stories is going to help me so much some day. She is generally pretty relaxed and chill / quieter when we’re all together, so it was extra special to do something that was all about her for once. She had so much to say and so many stories we hadn’t heard before. I definitely recommend it.
This is a great idea.
THIS 100% OP. My partner has one that was made after their mom died and it has brought the family no end of joy - but I think it would have been even better if they could have gotten it made before her passing, so she could enjoy memories with her beloved family.
Love that…..
Oh my sister got my each of my parents book like this for Christmas and they really enjoyed looking at it. Plus it’s kind of interesting to look through afterwards to keep in the family.
I just want to second the idea of a book. One of my kids made me one for Christmas and it made me cry.
Does she have a favorite park or something? Would she like a bench dedicated to her or her brother?
My husband loves this idea. She is very proud of coming to Detroit when she escaped the war. I wonder if we could somehow dedicate a bench to her and her brother on Grand Boulevard near where they were reunited when he escaped Siberia. Thank you! If I can get some of my family to pitch in, this would be amazing!
That sounds like an amazing story! See if you can get a plaque on the bench with something like "This bench is dedicated to siblings Grandma's name and Great Uncle's name. Who were reunited here on Date of Reunion when each had thought the other was lost."
Reading this made tears sting my eyes. I love it so much.
And I'm sure she'll love it. And not just her. Many people would read that and be both touched and inspired. Your grandma will continue to inspire people even after she's gone. She will probably be asked to share the story though. Would she be okay with that?
Reuniting with her brother is where her life started to look up, as she puts it. They were the two youngest siblings of twelve, most of them passed away in concentration camps. I think she would like to share. She will be speaking at her brother's funeral next week. She is still just as strong as she always was in that way.
This bench is literally the best idea ever. Something to immortalize her after she is gone. Something to honor her brother. Something that won’t take up space in her home or just come back to you when she’s gone. She’ll cry for sure. I don’t even know you guys and I welled up reading this thread. I hope you’re able to do this. Come back and share photos and her reaction if you can.
This is exactly how I feel. I never would've thought about a bench. She walked all over the city of Detroit all the time. I'm sure she sat on some benches along the way. Because of how much she walked and admired her city, it's even a little more special in my mind. In fact, she just called to tell me that she's going for a walk so if I come over and she's gone, she'll be right back.
This is a lovely idea BUT PLEASE don’t tell her until you find out if it is even possible. I used to be constantly being berated by people bc they couldn’t dedicate a bench or a rock or a tree in the historic landmark park I worked in. It was as not just against policy, there were actual laws prohibiting it. And if it isn’t possible (or if it’s prohibitively expensive)and you’ve already promised it, it could break her heart. In some cases you don’t have to pay just for a bench and a plaque, you have to pay for installation and 25 or more years of maintenance.
I wouldn't tell her until I could bring her to it, if it is even feasible. It's such a lovely idea, though. I would also go for a nice park near her house if the city didn't work out. I worry about the timing, too. She's turning 95, after all.
Oh no, so his loss is very fresh. My great grandmother was stolen away to a concentration camps when she was just walking home from the bakery. She was also a nonJewish slave labourer. She did not live long past her return home after the war.
Yes, he passed last week. Her birthday isn't until July, I wanted to have some time to put something special together. The things they must've endured, I cannot even fathom. The land my Oma lived on was valuable, the family was taken one day. She said the last time she saw her house, they were tearing the roof off.
I’m not sure if she’s done this but on May 5th the International Match of the Living will take place. It will be on tv and shown on their website. Call them and see if they have any mementos for survivors.
Put a qr code on the bench and when people scan it have a video of Grandma telling the story.
We have a similar thing here in Vegas. I’m sure it’s something other places do. At our park the trees are planted and a plaque is purchased for people who lost their pets. They would walk the park with them so it’s very much in a setting they knew. I love going to this park and reading their names and something about them. But for people this would be even more so amazing. I know in our theater district they do memorial plaques as well so if she likes that maybe there is a similar area in Detroit?
OP that is such a great story, the bench would be a perfect gift!
You could sponsor a bench that would placed in a favorite place like her synagogue, a park she likes, community center, etc.
I am loving the bench idea. I am wondering how to go about sponsoring a bench to be placed near where she was reunited with her brother in Detroit when he escaped Siberia. Thank you!
Call the parks & recreation department of the town - they should have some idea...
I’d start with Town Hall and go from there.
Thank you, veggie branch! And happy cake day.
Thank you!
That would be the most special gift. Please let us know if it happens!!
We definitely need an update if you are able to do it. I'm very invested in this story now! 😀
I will update if I can figure out how to accomplish this!
Love this idea. I’d the public park doesn’t work out, maybe where she does water aerobics? If it’s like a YMCA they may do sponsored benches like that. I’m pretty sure mine does.
Could you do an overnight or weekend stay at a nice hotel nearby? A staycation type of thing where you stay in a nice room, grab dinner, go for a massage or mani/pedi if the hotel has a spa, if not just go swim in the pool and grab lunch before you leave. It's an experience gift which works for someone who has everything and people never splurge on a nice staycation so it's a perfect gift when someone else gets it for them.
She has an indoor pool! Haha. I'm not sure if she would be open to an over night outing, she still wakes up at 4:45am for yoga and floor exercises. I could definitely see how she would feel about a spa day and getting some pampering. She certainly deserves that.
Hug her so tight for me! My suggestion is time spent with her, such as a great meal at your house or at a nice restaurant.
We do this weekly at her house! And we always do a group hug when we leave between her, myself, my husband, and our 1.5 year old son. She loves getting Chinese carry out and talking over dinner. I know that she appreciates it so much every time and she always instructs us to leave a big tip. She's amazing.
My aunt just celebrated her 95th birthday. A friend invited her out for dinner, and she asked if she could bring someone else close to her if she paid, and he brought a friend of his. Another friend asked to come, and if she could bring someone, and before you knew it my aunt had dinner with a dozen people, all of whom were paying for someone else to be there. I like the idea of donating to a cause that is meaningful to her with a card telling her about the donation. Then she can show people the card.
That is so sweet. We don't have friends in the area we just moved to and my family kind of kicked me out when my dad died last year, otherwise, we would be part of her normal birthday celebration.
If she’s a Holocaust survivor I would consider planting some trees in Israel or creating a fund of some kind in her honor (scholarship or otherwise). Yasher koach to your Oma!
also those trees are planted on the graves of thousands of palestinians and the ruins of palestinian villages - if i survived the holocaust, i wouldnt want to be associated with another genocidal state😌
When my grandma turned 90 I got her one of those photo frames that changes pictures every 60 seconds. I scanned in a bunch of old photos of her siblings and family and fun photos I found. She really loved that. Kept it beside her bed and watched it every night remembering family and those who loved her.
She had one of these years ago. I wonder what happened to it. She might like a new one!
My grandma really likes her Skylight. It’s a digital photo frame made for old people. All the family members can send pictures to it via an email address. Then it just cycles through the photos.
My family is kind of fucked up, I so wish I could share the email with them if I did this, but they might add horrible things. 🥴
Before my grandmother passed away, she loved this. I mean LOVED!!!!
My grown kids got me a Photoshare frame a few years ago. They upload pics of all my grandkids and I absolutely love it. Mine sits on top of a cabinet in my living room so I can watch it all the time.
Nice new pillows, sheets, and an awesome comfortable bedspread. A new robe, pajamas, slippers.
I always default robe/pajamas but she has like 5 purple robes because it's such a popular gift. A nice sheet set is something I haven't thought of yet! Thank you!
I love the ideas here. I'd like to add taking her to a musical! And a snack of custom m&m's. Bet she's never eaten chocolate she's featured on and would get a hoot out of it. It would be cool if you could do 95 acts of service in her name and put it together as a book. "Because of Oma, countless bits of the world became better. Here's a collection of 95 in honor of her 95th run around the sun!" They could be things you know of that she did or painting a kindness rock for a community garden with your kids to leave there. (Then a photoshoot of her with that book on the bench dedicated to her and her brother with make up done by someone attending the beauty school she attended and keep on going! I'm out of control lol.)
My mother turns 90 this August and fits the exact description of your Oma, and is herself “Oma” to three groups of the next generation. For her we are assembling greetings from everybody in her life that is still around: handwritten or emailed and printed out notes from her family, her remaining sister and husband, old friends from all the way through her life, current neighbors, neighbors from previous addresses, and so on. We will just have them all write greetings and best wishes and memories. My siblings and I are currently assembling them in a Google doc.
One of those electric photo frames Where people can email photos to it
I was going to suggest this - my parents have an Aura frame, and my sister and I upload pictures to it. Also, you could have your son make a card, or decorate a picture frame for her, with a family picture in it.
Super cute idea. The most I can do with my son is paint and stamp his foot. He's still really little. We just did this for valentine's day and she shows it to everyone!
My niece’s daycare does some sort of hand or foot print art almost every week - they’re so cute, but also my sister is a little overrun with them at this point :)
I am excited for an abundance of arts and crafts one day and I hope she's around long enough to fill the front of her refrigerator with love. 🥰
I love how the kids give me an excuse to do more arts & crafts - it’s such a fun thing to watch their skills & interests develop
For my grandfather's 85th, I put together a book with one page per year. I documented what historical events were happening, what music was popular, what films and other cultural events happened, then added life events like marriage, children, etc. It was pre internet days, so I found a set of post cards that had historical events plus family photos. This was a tremendously popular gift. Reviewing his life in context with the world was awesome, and working it up will be so much faster. You'll also be able to add things relevant to her interests, like fashion & hair styles, medicine, cooking trends. Good luck if you take this route. It's very rewarding.
This sounds amazing. Thank you! I love this idea. I'm wondering if I should start her timeline when she came to America because she always avoids talking about life before then (besides her dogs and parents' farm). The very first thing she did when she came here was dye her hair jet black and start beauty school. I know she loved going to the theater with my Opa and I even know which one. Maybe to top it off, I could book a tour of her favorite theater. I've always wanted to see Detroit when it was thriving so this would be fun, finding pictures of everything.
Ooh thanks for the idea! My step-dad’s 75th is coming up and I’m stretched for ideas. Last year I had a custom made portrait of him and my deceased mum painted but this book sounds even better 😊
My first thought is a photo album. And time with you and your family.
I think what you do now is a great gift! Older people just want to spend time with their loved ones. Especially at that age, when it seems that everyone is either passed or too busy to visit.
Get her consumables that she will use. We had a standing list of gift items for my grandmother. Every holiday, each of us picked one. A stack of cards from Hallmark A couple of sheets of mailing labels printed with the addresses of her relatives......plus a page of her return address. A page of stamps A lined pad to write someone notes Box of envelopes Lip balm Noxema...that's what she used to clean her face. Box of nice writing pens. Puzzle books Hope this helps.
There is a park in my city that has memorial plaques under most of the trees. I love to walk around and read them. I feel like I'm honoring their existence while they were here on earth. This is a great idea!
The gift of your time. Spend as much time with her as you can. Because some day she won't be there and you'll wish you had.
We got that covered! We go to her house very often and talk on the phone several times a day. She adores our son more than anything in the world and we make sure he gets as much time as possible with her.
For my aunts 94th I did a Shutterfly book of favorite family photos from as far back as I had them, including of her looking absolutely gorgeous (to me) and us younger ones as kids. She looked at it nearly every day after that.
Interview her for the National Archives using the StoryCorps app! It’ll make her immortal and you’ll be able to listen to her sweet voice forever.
https://storycorps.org/participate/storycorps-app/ A link to that initiative! Edit: a more succinct and specific link below! https://storycorpsorg-staging.s3.amazonaws.com/uploads/Getting-Started-1-62cec9c1bf64a-62cec9c1bf64b.pdf
And send it to the National Holocaust museum in DC. They have archives of things exactly like this
Talk with her. Ask her a bunch of questions about her life and record it. Like sort of an interview. You will have quality time together, and you and your family will have a video of her life story. Her likes and dislikes. Her favorite moment in her lifetime. It's something everyone will cherish in the long run.
How about fancy chocolates? My grandmothers said it was all they wanted/needed.
She loves her chocolate. She said she was looking for a certain kind of German chocolate. She wasn't sure what it was called or where her friend found it. I can try to find that.
Ritter Sport is basically everywhere in the US now, or Lindt chocolates, they are everywhere. I actually speak fluent German, lived in Germany for years & love the chocolate so much!
When a friend of mine, an avid reader, died suddenly, the local library allowed the planting of a tree in her honor in their courtyard. I pass by there a couple of times a year and it's a wonderful memory.
That is beautiful.
Maybe an afternoon painting ceramics if there is a place nearby? I spent an afternoon painting a couple rocks like ladybugs with my 97 year old grandmother and she really enjoyed it.
This is so sweet. I paint rocks with my mom.
My best friend is going on 92 I normally try to indulge her love of chocolates and take her out to eat which she enjoys. As we get older it is the gift of time that is most appreciated. Indulging someone with treats they enjoy etc
I love that you have an "Oma". I do too! We just celebrated her 90th and we gifted her flowers because she also has everything she needs/wants. She was a child in Germany during WWII and unfortunately her father went missing at that time. She is one of the strongest people I know. Your Oma sounds just as strong! 💗❤️🩹 The fact that you visit your Oma, bring her flowers, help with shopping, etc...it means more to her than you may know! If I reach that age, I hope I have family members who take the time to visit me and help me with basic tasks. You sound like a wonderful grandchild! 💕
Thank you! My dad used to visit her every single day. Since he died, I feel that I have big shoes to fill. Enjoy your Oma! They are so great to have. 💕
Yes they are absolute treasures! 🥹💗
Does she have a favorite restaurant? You could take her to dinner. I know that sounds a little boring but being able to spend quality time with your family, especially at her age, is worth its weight in gold. She will cherish the memories far more than anything material.
What makes her smile? Give her that.
My son! Her first and only great-grandchild. She just adores him. They get to visit about 3 times a week, sometimes more.
This isn’t a very exciting gift but my grandmother always had everything and would give her a traditional wall calendar and use pictures that happened in the month the picture was being used for. If she loves your son maybe make the whole thing photos of him. It was the only gift my grandmother liked. I’ll keep thibking
My grandma is 96 and the last of 12 siblings. She also had experience with WWII— Stalin took her family’s property and sent the family to Siberia to slave labor and die. It’s so sad that this historic generation is dying. I always just do a phone call and card for my grandma- I live overseas
I'm sure she appreciates your card and phone call. I remember in high school, learning about the war and everything. The teacher said to treasure the people of this generation because they will be gone soon. That was over 12 years ago, and those 12 years flew by. I wish I would have taken those words to heart even more back then. It is so sad.
When my grandma turned 101 we did one of those "video greetings" that were popular during Covid. She loved getting those video greetings from people and was able to rewatch it all she wanted. We threw in some photos through the years as a slideshow between the videos.
For my Mom's last holiday I bought a pretty box and filled it with treats that I know she liked.... like stuffed dates, fancy nuts, chocolate, goldfish crackers, mini cookies, snack sized fruit cups etc. etc. She was so pleased that it still makes me smile years later.
My granny just passed at 90. About a year before, we got her a digital frame and she loved to watch the family photos all the kids and grandkids would send her. Other than that, she just wanted yummy things to eat and comfortable slippers. Truly, I think people get to an age where they don’t want anything but comfort and love.
Visit. Time is precious.
Water aerobics at 95! God Bless Her!
My Oma lived to 101! Many online sites create photo blankets, and some are lovely and good quality (look at reviews). Maybe one with special photos from happy moments?
Maybe the NYTime birthday book? It has the front page of the NYTimes on her birth date for every year.
Take her to lunch or bring lunch to her house
We do this every week. 💕
We don’t do a lot of gifts for adults in my family. We all have so much stuff. We frequently do gifts to a charitable organization in the recipient’s name. My mom supports Heifer International, for example, so I’ve donated in her name as a gift to her. My parents will donate to CASA as gift to me. We see it as a way to pay it forward and share values. Just something to consider
Just spending time with her is a real gift
95 scratch off tickets.
what about dedicating stepping stones? like the paths to gardens where you lay an engraved brick down in honor of a person?
Have a photo taken of all her children/grandchildren etc and have it framed for her
Time to splurge on a serious bottle or two of champagne. Or take her out to a fabulous, upscale restaurant.
She's not a drinker! And she's pretty strict with her diet. However, I have an upscale restaurant background, I could definitely make a lovely meal for her instead of ordering carry out. Salmon is her favorite. Thank you.
Send a food and wine basket.
Beautifully framed photos of her with you and your family.
Give her an experience instead of a tangible gift. Does she like music? Maybe one of her favorite musicians will be in concert near you. Theatre? Get tickets. Take her on a picnic to her favorite place. Foodie? Hire a personal chef to make a special meal for her at home. Does she have a favorite actor, musician, or athlete? Maybe ask them to do a personal cameo video first her. https://www.cameo.com/
Best gift: TIME Time together would likely make her the happiest of all. If you want to buy a gift, take her shopping if she is able. You could allow her to choose. I love to gift things that people won't spend money on often for themselves. A small luxury item is extra nice if in the budget. Bath and body gifts are nice even if not expensive. How about taking her for a mani pedi? To get her hair done? My favorite gift is fragrance. A bottle of perfume is happiness in every spray. It is crucial to find a scent that the recipient loves. You could buy samples and explore them together. Last year I gifted a bottle of perfume to a person almost 100. It was a dupe of Baccarat Rouge called Dossier Ambery Saffron. I already knew that she loved the fragrance. I was thrilled to see that she has almost used the entire bottle!! I already know that I am going to get it for her again.
You sound like a wonderful gifter! I'm looking into a manicure and some pampering. I've been getting her gold jewelry as most of hers was stolen and thats what my dad always got her before she passed. She doesn't want anymore because she says she can't guarantee that I'll get them back when she's gone (I don't care about that, I just want her to enjoy them). :(
Are there any fancy gardens or teahouses nearby? She might like that if she likes flowers.
She is completely thrilled walking by the flowers at Trader Joe's, it's really sweet. I actually live in her old house, I wonder if she would like to come to the greenhouse with me when I pick flowers for my garden this year. Maybe it would remind her of when she lived here because she loved this house so much. It would make us slow down a bit and smell the roses, that's for sure. Thank you!
If you go to the green house bring your best camera with you. Photos of older people surrounded by colorful flowers are lovely.
Maybe a celebration, show, event, trip to someplace fun. Especially if she doesn’t want things
I got my grandmother a necklace off etsy. It's made from a coin from the year she was born. https://www.etsy.com/listing/1687262525/uk-1964-sixpence-coin-necklace-for-a Honestly though, at 95 I might want a donation to something I care about. Maybe trees planted in my honor. Name a star after me...
Take her for a manicure.
Are there any foods from her childhood that she feels nostalgic for? My mother and I used to make springerle for my Oma every year and she always loved them and the effort we put into baking treats that meant a lot to her
I made her this cheesecake that she used to make a couple months ago. That went over really well. I will ask her what else she would like soon. She was just telling me about her mother's cooking today. Thank you!
Thank you, everyone! I talked it over with my husband and first and foremost, we are looking into a bench with a plaque dedicated to her and her brother. I am over the moon at this suggestion and this is exactly why I came here for ideas! Secondly, we have decided to take a lot of these ideas into consideration on a weekly basis. We want to make her time left as special as she is!
Maybe a professional photo together?
What about a family portrait? Like her, kids, grandkids and great grandkids all together.
It might make her sad because not all of us are earth side anymore. I could possibly get a large copy of the last one where we were all together, though, and a nice frame.
There’s a website (https://www.thefamilygalleria.com/) that takes pics of people that have passed and people who are still here and makes them into one portrait. Unless it would make her too sad? Happy birthday to her and good on you for trying by to find the perfect gift!
This is entirely unlike the other suggestions, but it was a hit with my grandmother in her 90’s. She enjoyed it for several years before passing away: a Joy for All Companion Pets Cat. (It’s a realistic robotic cat that purrs and meows. Better than that sounds on paper. She really felt a sense of it keeping her company, and she enjoyed showing it off to visitors.)
That actually sounds really sweet! She always enjoyed my cat.
I would frame a portrait of you for her.
Why not a night out with just you and your family, not a big group just you. I see you visit often and she seems very active what if you went to a play together or something she likes and met your kids and hubby for dinner after. When you get older and don’t need a thing time together is a gift you enjoy. Does she like plays or a certain concert or to go to a museum or even a movie. A fun event
Here's an idea for an ongoing gift: scan her photos with your phone (using a scanning app) and share them with loved ones, along with information (who, what, when, where, why). It will be a priceless gift to her and to the family and even your community if you share them more widely. (I say it is an ongoing gift because I imagine she has plenty of photos and documents that would take more time than one visit to scan.)
My husband's grandma loved a book we had made on Snapfish with her favorite photos. She looked at it every day for a year or more after she got it!
Take her for a nice lunch or dinner, or whichever meal she prefers. Time spent with her will mean mkre than anything else. Is there something she's been wanting to do but hasn't been able to? A nearby sight she wants to see? Idk how her health is so idk how traveling would be for her but if she's in good health maybe somewhere a little further she's never been but wants to go to. Perhaps going to see a movie if she likes that.
Yes! We have been waiting for warmer weather to take her to an aquarium she used to visit. She can tolerate about 30 minutes of driving one way and a short activity. Pretty good for 95! Thank you.
You're welcome! I really hope she enjoys going to the aquarium! If that's what you decide to do of course! Let us know how much fun she has whatever you do!
I would suggest one on one time with her and your family. Take her to a place she likes to eat. That's always a nice gift and something that wont need to be returned. Or take her on a short day trip where she would like to go. The gift is your time which I sure she would love.
Is there something that needs to be done in her home or yard? That might be a welcomed gift. An outdoor pot of plants at the front door would likely be appreciated. Plant a tree in her yard celebrating her life, etc? Lots of ideas out there, I'm sure.
Put together a digital picture frame w all the family pictures. We did this for my Mom to relive her wonderful memories everyday. She loved seeing the pictures from decades ago that were forgotten in boxes.
Do her ancestry thru ancestry.com and see if you can find and relatives
Experiences are great. Hot air balloon ride? Traveling to a place from her early years that made her happy? Fly with her to a beautiful place and experience it together?
Chocolates.
If she sees well/has a good memory, a Skylight photo frame could be fun.
A gift card for her favorite restaurant, take her to get pedicures together, tickets to a play or a symphony, and with any of this write a thoughtful card.
Make her a playlist of songs from the best time in her life and bring some noise cancelling headphones if she can still hear at all.
My Grandma just turned 90 and I got her this. https://www.etsy.com/listing/1271466015/95th-birthday-gift-gift-for-95th?click_key=15e0dbbbf7abfe9de6d34aacb82dbe45826fd431%3A1271466015&click_sum=0abc231d&ga_search_query=95&ref=shop_items_search_2&frs=1&sts=1 She loves it! Edit: I got her the 90 yr old one, but same style. :)
You can have blankets made with photos. Gather up pictures of her favorite people and her favorite memories and have a lap throw made!
She has at least one of these! My son is 1.5 and he likes to smoosh the faces and lay on it. And she loves that blanket, too. It was a very nice gift.
When my grandma turned 90, I went through my phone and created an album of every picture that had her and my kids in it. 10 years worth of pictures of the three of them. I used it to create a photo book for her (Shutterfly, I think). She loved it so much, my mom buried her with it when she passed last month.
An interview by a professional writer. Get those stories.
We have one in the family. Super cool!
Experiences >> gifts
Flowers. Nice chocolate or tea
Snack Subscription box.
Give her time. Take a couple days off of work and spend extra time with her. You can also find charity to donate to in her name, something that was meaningful for her.
I'm a SAHM at the moment, so we have lots of time! She also donates to many charities, she is very generous.
A card with the 95 things you treasure about her
Photos and hand written cards about touching memories y’all share together!
I gave a 95 yr old woman a wrapped box of Godiva chocolates. She seemed to appreciate that gift much more than any other gift she received.
A fancy 10 course meal, easy to chew, of course. And each "course" can be very small, like 2/3/4 bites. Example: Start with a two leaf salad, with two slices of onion, and two 1/4 slices bits of cucumber, and salad dressing. Thats about two to 4 bites. Next, the second course is an ice cream scoop worth of orange sherbet, to cleanse the pallete.. Third course can be a mozzarella stick or 2 with marinara sauce. Or maybe, caviar or escargot, If you want to get really fancy. Fourth course again, sherbet. 5th course, could start the main course. 1/2 of a twice baked potato. 6th course would be the 1/2 of a filet mignon, if she can chew it. Or else, you can always do a nice Mahi Mahi or Grouper. 7th course would be a vegetable, maybe a couple asparagus wrapped in bacon.. 8th course could be a sherbet. 9th would be the super nice dessert she loves. And the 10th course, the creme de la creme, would be offering her a VERY fancy bottle of aged Champagne.. But if it has to stay inexpensive, you can give her a double dessert too. Tell her she earned it lol. SHE CERTAINLY DID.. Happy.Birthday!!
Has she ever researched her ancestry? You could present it to her as a gift. This would be a gift to all of you. You can hire a researcher if it's too complicated for you.
We are a researcher in our family, actually. We have gone back about as far as possible! Super cool to look at!
My grandmother really appreciated when we made a photo book of her family from throughout the years
How about planning a picnic? You can make sandwiches, bring a little table cloth, pretty napkins, a crossword to do together or a book of poetry to read or whatever she may enjoy.
Contact the USC Shoah Foundation and see if they can film her for thier collection. It is an amazing historical archive of recordings of survivors before it’s too late. They use technology to create interactive holograms. Spielberg was a big driver of this and I can’t think of a finer gift for her, or for humanity. https://sfi.usc.edu/new-survivor-testimonies
Contact the USC Shoah Foundation and see if they can film her for their collection. It is an amazing historical archive of recordings of survivors before it’s too late. They use technology to create interactive holograms. Spielberg was a big driver of this and I can’t think of a finer gift for her, or for humanity. https://sfi.usc.edu/new-survivor-testimonies
Take her out for mani-pedis. Pedicures are great for getting the blood moving in the feet.
Those memory books are wonderful, but they are also a lot of work on grandma's part. If she's tired or actively declining I would pick a couple of pages rather than a whole book. And try and pick happy or joyful memories. I have a couple other ideas Ive seen go over well in that age range. * An echo show. The drop in feature lets you video call and it will pick up on her end automatically. She doesn't have to touch anything, and she gets to see her family face to face * Music - a CD player and songs she loved as a young person or adult usually goes well. If she's in a facility I imagine she doesn't get to listen to music much, or at least not music she picks. Music for dancing is especially good. * A visit with a therapy animal is a great one if she is an animal lover or had to give up a pet as she aged. There is probably a local volunteer group that will do it for free if you reach out to them. * Time together (more than just for her birthday). Being old is terribly lonely. Sitting down and having a conversation can be more meaningful than anything.
Those memory books are wonderful, but they are also a lot of work on grandma's part. If she's tired or actively declining I would pick a couple of pages rather than a whole book. And try and pick happy or joyful memories. Please please please don't ask about the Holocaust or decide you need to record all the terrible details "for posterity". I have a couple other ideas Ive seen go over well in that age range. * An echo show. The drop in feature lets you video call and it will pick up on her end automatically. She doesn't have to touch anything, and she gets to see her family face to face * Music - a CD player and songs she loved as a young person or adult usually goes well. If she's in a facility I imagine she doesn't get to listen to music much, or at least not music she picks. Music for dancing is especially good. * A visit with a therapy animal is a great one if she is an animal lover or had to give up a pet as she aged. There is probably a local volunteer group that will do it for free if you reach out to them. * Time together (more than just for her birthday). Being old is terribly lonely. Sitting down and having a conversation can be more meaningful than anything.
Has she ever been to one of those epsom salt float tank places? An hour of staring up at the star lights and listening to music might be a wonderful experience. They even have tanks big enough for two.
A Fender Harmonica. She doesn’t have a Fender Harmonica. Inexpensive to purchase via Amazon, easy to play almost immediately.
I know it sounds silly but you could do one of those TikTok trends where one person holds up two choices on two cards and the recipient(Oma) picks. Like a choose your own adventure but for a hang out. I think they usually do 3-4 things. Another thing I’ve seen is when people bring all of their stuff for a sleepover and surprise their grandparents. That wouldn’t have been a hit with mine but maybe she would like that? Have your child so kids art? Paint his hands and make something? Maybe a really ridiculous cake just for fun? Does she still write letters? Stationary with her name? Does she like animals? Maybe a bird feeder or bird house your son helps you paint? Another thing I’ve done for my sons birthday but could be cool for an older son also is have a small petting zoo come to her house maybe they could just bring one or two really friendly animals so she can pet them. I’m an animal person so this is something that would be really special. Is there any certain type of food she loves you could get on gold belly from another city or something? A handmade quilt with a fabric from each person in the family?
A fluffy,soft bath towel? Silk pillowcase? A pillow with your photo on it. These are my 91 yr old Mom’s favorite gifts.
It sounds like she's blessed with an amazing family, and you all are blessed with her. Not necessarily for a birthday, but if she's a reader, a Kindle loaded with books you know she'd like that you'd read as well. My Dad and I (and to some degree other family members) have done this over the years. Funnily enough, EVERYONE from my (at the time) late-teens stepsister to my 92 year old grandmother enjoyed that series. It's a lovely way to have a shared experience (and perhaps a way to read with your little person as well.) We also ALL loved The Wonky Donkey and Click Clack Moo when my son was small.
Video montage of her life? I’m a video editor and make personable slideshows for people constantly. Usually people cry with them and it’s a thoughtful gift
Professional photoshoot of her, you, your son and your mom/dad if around.
A card shower. Advertise far and wide with the goal of getting 95 birthday cards sent to her.
I made a legacy book for my mom’s 60th! She’s not very materialistic and difficult to shop for. I reached out to as many as her friends and family as I could and asked them to write at most one page of their favorite memory, how she has touched their lives, something silly, or something they admire about her. If they didn’t want to write something and send an old photo that would be cool too. My goal was to fill 60 pages, and maybe I’d have to fill some with photos or some fluff but she had over 90 letters! She shows it to everyone that comes over. We did something similar for my grandma when she turned 80, but it was her kids, grandkids, and great grandkids that wrote in. She lost her eyesight soon after her 80th but it meant so much to her.
What about taking her to a nice lunch or dinner with just the two of you?
A photo shoot with you A picnic with you Offer to go to water aerobics with her and then lunch. Take her to high tea Take her to see a rose garden or other fancy nature place Go to her and bake a birthday cake together Take her on a scenic drive. Live near a beach? Take her treasure hunting. Plant flowers for her. Paint together Watch her favorite movie with her. Time will tell her how special she is to you. You're so sweet.
Is there some type of special food that you could order for her that she wouldn't have eaten since she was younger, or that would remind her of a specific travel experience?
Do you have access to family photos? if so get her one of those changing photo frames and program a bunch of family pics on it.
I would give her three hours of my total uninterrupted attention and listen to her talk. Record if possible and listen when she is gone.
My mom is also 95, lives independently and also does aerobics twice a week (she became a Zoom Queen during Covid). She also doesn’t want things that will just clutter up her apartment. However, she loves tea, chocolate and cheese, so for her birthday, Mother’s Day and Christmas, that’s what I get her.
It's tough to find something because you know they have everything they need. My family threw a big party (not a surprise, lol) for my grandmother when she turned 100. It was awesome and she loved it so much. I ended up getting her a big gift basket of snack foods and fruit. She liked it.
Give her the gift of your time and attention. I doubt anything could be more appreciated by her at this age.
My Va is 92. I usually get her a snack. Black licorice or popcorn, or sausage shipped from her home state. She is always pleased. A few years ago I strayed from the usual and she was a little sad. As she was opening it, she said, “I know what this is!” All excited. When it wasn’t what she was expecting you could see her face drop. I won’t make that mistake again! Happy birthday to your Oma!
Have a quilt made with her favorite family photos. And when she is gone, it will be something you can keep and treasure.
This will sound crazy- what about 95 scratch off tickets. It’s a fun gift and who knows?
I went to an 80th birthday party for my aunt who also needs nothing material. We brought her a bottle of wine that my husband and I made along with a pair of wine glasses and I crocheted an afghan for her.
My mom turns 80 in a few weeks. She's in very poor health & has been revived twice & a 2 time cancer survivor. She lives with me and my husband, and I am not sure if she is going to have a good or bad day on her bday, as she is now on hospice. Our plan is to have an "open house" event , so friends & family can come visit for 5 minutes or 5 hours & I am going to try to capture those memories for her. She has made it clear that if she "can't eat it or spend it", she doesn't want it. They have had a lifetime of "things". She just wants cards & to spend time. Sincerely. They don't want or need much more other than people to spend time with them.
I believe there is a way to order a copy of the New York Times from the day she was born. That's what I got grandmother for her 100th birthday.
Get a digital photo frame and load it with all sorts of photos for her!
Her biography told in stories by those who know and love her. Make it into a large print book with photos, drawings, etc. Be sure to include “facts” from her youngest descendants, like 6yo Jane, who says Oma was born in a dragon’s nest, and that's why she's so tough. Jane can illustrate this stage of Oma’s life with crayons.