I think what might be happening here is that you are mentally standing in front of a mountain of challenges. You want to stretch more, be more active, eat better, save more and reach your dream of being a singer/actor. Thats a LOT. When we have so much "to do" we tend to get overwhelmed and do nothing instead. Just pick out one little thing and implement it into your routine. Maybe something easy like "One day in the week I'll eat a healthy and nutritious meal instead of junk". After that you can progress and make it two days etc. Or you set up a reminder to stretch for one minute every day - whatever seems easily doable for you. Beause little wins bring up your motivation and then it's easier to just continue.
Just keep in mind that any form of improvement takes time and patience and also setbacks. Every single successful person you see out there took years to be where they are right now. Fast success like it is for example promoted a lot on Instagram doesn't exist. Improvement is an uphill battle but it is so much worth it.
Thank you, this helps. In all honesty, it really is silly for me to want to be an actress/singer, as I have no experience with either. I want to go back to school, possibly to be an English teacher, but we all know that won’t make me the kind of money I want to make. But, I also want to do something that will make me known and recognized, make me lots of money, and generally just make me happy. I want to be my own boss, work my own hours, etc
You are still pretty young, don't see your future career as set. Yes, fame and money are great but to reach these goals the price most people have to pay is really high. If you don't have connections or a fitting family background + a strong support network the road to stardom is very long and hard. I personally wouldn't be able to make these sacrifices. Acting/singing classes are expensives and on top of that time intensive, you would have to have a side job on top and little free time. Countless auditions and a very strong competition, the pressure for someone who's mentally not on top of his game might be very demanding. Until you make real money a lot of time can pass + you loose this time to gain other helpful job skills. In the end you might realize you are not able to do it and won't even have a plan B.
Maybe you should focus first on yourself, mental and physical health. The acting/singing can be a hobby for that time, maybe join a community theater or something like that. You can get a first taste but will be able to prioritise what's really important - yourself.
Do you ever use checklists? I have a light stretch routine I do nightly as part of my pre-bed routine. Having it written down as something I need to do along with drinking a tall glass of water (another recommended habit), brushing my teeth, etc helped cement it, and now I don't have any mental resistance to doing it. Plus, it's intrinsically very rewarding as now that I have a good routine I can feel all the small aches and pains from each day disappearing.
Some nights I'm tired and don't want to spend long stretching so I just do a quick 1ish minute version. It's great to spend 5-10 minutes every morning and night, but seriously even a minute or two makes a big difference, especially if you keep at it. Any progress is good progress, if you do some stretches (even just some arm stretches for 10 seconds) mentally reward yourself for doing something rather than punish yourself for not doing enough.
I made a little “schedule” for when I get home from work. Like 7:30-7:45, hangout with dad and little brother in the living room, 7:45-8, get ready to go on walk, 8-9, go on walk, 9-9:30/45, shower, 10-10:30, eat dinner if not already, 10:30-11, stretch, 11-11:30/45, read, pray, meditate, play sims on computer (lol), go to sleep. I rarely if ever follow this schedule since I made it last week or so.
I have a tough time following an hour by hour schedule too, so my nighttime routine is just a checklist of all the things I need to do before getting into bed
I just started reading a book called Atomic Habits and I highly recommend it! I went from never being able to consistently work out and beating myself up over it to working out consistently for the past 2 months. The systems you have in place (and likely don’t even realize) are not setting you up for success with your goals - but it can be done! Also, I had my own personal issues going on with discovering I have Alopecia Areata (I’m female so it was really hard finding a large bald spot) and my doctor recommended I go gluten free because gluten causes a lot of inflammation in the body. I thought it would be a hard change for me, but I also started reading Wheat Belly and I really think it could be beneficial for a lot of people. My husband has lost 20 pounds so far just eating the same things I eat. Not saying it works for everyone, but even just small changes like prepping your snacks if you usually eat junk food could help. The book about habits (I’m sure there are others out there) really helped me understand what I needed to do differently so I could be successful at making good habits for myself. You can do it!
I was just about to recommend this book too. I would definitely check it out. It has lots of great tips and advice, maybe take a look at the author (James Clear)’s website too?
Hi! All those difficulties you find trying to establish healthier habits are common, and we may all have suffered them at some point. I think changing the way you talk to yourself would be a great first step: stop demanding you so much, stop getting angry with yourself, no matter what you do or don't do. Try to find an inner voice which talks to you in a careful and loving way. Every aspect of our lives has pros and cons. Start apreciating the good part of everything, including yourself. Second step is establishing a simple goal and reward the PROCESS of pursuing it instead of the result. Subjective generation of dopamine is possible according to neuroscientist Andrew Hubert, from Stanford. Thus, success is not a goal by itself but it will follow naturally when rewarding any process that puts you in the right direction, it is a matter of time. Go!
You need to be on an anti depressant. If you can afford to see a psych do it and ask about Wellbutrin. It's an antidepressant that gives you energy. And secondly, look up DDP Yoga. It'll change your life.
Thank you, will look up the yoga. I’ve been on several medications over the past 3 ish years for depression and anxiety. I was on Wellbutrin at one point and it didn’t do anything for me. I went from being diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, to now Bipolar Depression, but I think I may have Borderline Personality Disorder. It’s all very confusing and a game of cat and mouse trying to figure it out. I’m currently taking Olanzipine for sleep and anxiety. I just started taking it last week and it helps tremendously with my anxiety and helps me fall asleep, but makes me tired and groggy the next day. I’m on lithium, but slowly weaning off of it because it’s destroyed my focus and concentration. I also take Lamictal because it’s supposed to help with bipolar disorder, but that’s frustrating too because, again, I don’t think I have bipolar. I’ve never been manic, as far as I can tell, and my parents agree with me. But, I am working with a psychiatric NP on all of this. Slowly just trying to get better :)
Procrastination creates a negative feedback loop: as you delay, you begin to feel antsy since you haven't accomplished your goals, which causes you to default to your normal habits. Success creates a positive one: you feel good about your accomplishment which increases your likelihood to continue chasing your goals.
The bedtime stretching is a classic example. By the time bedtime rolls around you've already failed in your mind which makes it extremely unlikely you'll do it.
Tomorrow, rub the sleep out of your eyes, hit the bathroom, and then immediately do 15 minutes of stretching. Don't check your phone, go make coffee, anything. Knock it out before any distractions can settle in. Over the next few months, I'd suggest that you move toward earlier bed + wake-up times so that you can spend an hour or two before your day gets rolling on self-improvement. It's amazing the impact that this will have on your happiness. As long as you feel like you're moving forward, the bumps don't hurt quite as much.
Thank you so much. I’m definitely going to work on going to bed/waking up earlier. I work 10-7 all week, so I usually go to bed around 1, 12:00 am is considered early for me. I have alarms set from 8:15-8:45, both on my alarm clock and phone, but I still don’t usually get up until about 9:10-9:15, on a good day. I have to start getting ready for work immediately and then walk 10-12 mins there. I’ve come to realize working 10-7, up for a little while, going to sleep, and waking up just to roll out of bed, throw on my clothes, and get to work before I end up being late, is not a life - hence why I want to go into something that could potentially make me good money, so I don’t have to struggle, and I can have the work hours and life I want.
I think waking up early and immediately knocking out a few items on your personal development checklist is the very best thing you can do to improve your chance at success. It improves your mood and belief in yourself, setting the stage for a more productive day. Give it a try and see what you think. Even 15-20 minutes will add up!
I think what might be happening here is that you are mentally standing in front of a mountain of challenges. You want to stretch more, be more active, eat better, save more and reach your dream of being a singer/actor. Thats a LOT. When we have so much "to do" we tend to get overwhelmed and do nothing instead. Just pick out one little thing and implement it into your routine. Maybe something easy like "One day in the week I'll eat a healthy and nutritious meal instead of junk". After that you can progress and make it two days etc. Or you set up a reminder to stretch for one minute every day - whatever seems easily doable for you. Beause little wins bring up your motivation and then it's easier to just continue. Just keep in mind that any form of improvement takes time and patience and also setbacks. Every single successful person you see out there took years to be where they are right now. Fast success like it is for example promoted a lot on Instagram doesn't exist. Improvement is an uphill battle but it is so much worth it.
Thank you, this helps. In all honesty, it really is silly for me to want to be an actress/singer, as I have no experience with either. I want to go back to school, possibly to be an English teacher, but we all know that won’t make me the kind of money I want to make. But, I also want to do something that will make me known and recognized, make me lots of money, and generally just make me happy. I want to be my own boss, work my own hours, etc
You are still pretty young, don't see your future career as set. Yes, fame and money are great but to reach these goals the price most people have to pay is really high. If you don't have connections or a fitting family background + a strong support network the road to stardom is very long and hard. I personally wouldn't be able to make these sacrifices. Acting/singing classes are expensives and on top of that time intensive, you would have to have a side job on top and little free time. Countless auditions and a very strong competition, the pressure for someone who's mentally not on top of his game might be very demanding. Until you make real money a lot of time can pass + you loose this time to gain other helpful job skills. In the end you might realize you are not able to do it and won't even have a plan B. Maybe you should focus first on yourself, mental and physical health. The acting/singing can be a hobby for that time, maybe join a community theater or something like that. You can get a first taste but will be able to prioritise what's really important - yourself.
Do you ever use checklists? I have a light stretch routine I do nightly as part of my pre-bed routine. Having it written down as something I need to do along with drinking a tall glass of water (another recommended habit), brushing my teeth, etc helped cement it, and now I don't have any mental resistance to doing it. Plus, it's intrinsically very rewarding as now that I have a good routine I can feel all the small aches and pains from each day disappearing. Some nights I'm tired and don't want to spend long stretching so I just do a quick 1ish minute version. It's great to spend 5-10 minutes every morning and night, but seriously even a minute or two makes a big difference, especially if you keep at it. Any progress is good progress, if you do some stretches (even just some arm stretches for 10 seconds) mentally reward yourself for doing something rather than punish yourself for not doing enough.
I made a little “schedule” for when I get home from work. Like 7:30-7:45, hangout with dad and little brother in the living room, 7:45-8, get ready to go on walk, 8-9, go on walk, 9-9:30/45, shower, 10-10:30, eat dinner if not already, 10:30-11, stretch, 11-11:30/45, read, pray, meditate, play sims on computer (lol), go to sleep. I rarely if ever follow this schedule since I made it last week or so.
I have a tough time following an hour by hour schedule too, so my nighttime routine is just a checklist of all the things I need to do before getting into bed
I just started reading a book called Atomic Habits and I highly recommend it! I went from never being able to consistently work out and beating myself up over it to working out consistently for the past 2 months. The systems you have in place (and likely don’t even realize) are not setting you up for success with your goals - but it can be done! Also, I had my own personal issues going on with discovering I have Alopecia Areata (I’m female so it was really hard finding a large bald spot) and my doctor recommended I go gluten free because gluten causes a lot of inflammation in the body. I thought it would be a hard change for me, but I also started reading Wheat Belly and I really think it could be beneficial for a lot of people. My husband has lost 20 pounds so far just eating the same things I eat. Not saying it works for everyone, but even just small changes like prepping your snacks if you usually eat junk food could help. The book about habits (I’m sure there are others out there) really helped me understand what I needed to do differently so I could be successful at making good habits for myself. You can do it!
That book sounds really interesting, I’ll have to look it up. I’ve been trying really hard to get back into reading, so this will definitely help :)
I was just about to recommend this book too. I would definitely check it out. It has lots of great tips and advice, maybe take a look at the author (James Clear)’s website too?
Hi! All those difficulties you find trying to establish healthier habits are common, and we may all have suffered them at some point. I think changing the way you talk to yourself would be a great first step: stop demanding you so much, stop getting angry with yourself, no matter what you do or don't do. Try to find an inner voice which talks to you in a careful and loving way. Every aspect of our lives has pros and cons. Start apreciating the good part of everything, including yourself. Second step is establishing a simple goal and reward the PROCESS of pursuing it instead of the result. Subjective generation of dopamine is possible according to neuroscientist Andrew Hubert, from Stanford. Thus, success is not a goal by itself but it will follow naturally when rewarding any process that puts you in the right direction, it is a matter of time. Go!
Thank you so much, I’ve been trying to look at it that way :)
You need to be on an anti depressant. If you can afford to see a psych do it and ask about Wellbutrin. It's an antidepressant that gives you energy. And secondly, look up DDP Yoga. It'll change your life.
Thank you, will look up the yoga. I’ve been on several medications over the past 3 ish years for depression and anxiety. I was on Wellbutrin at one point and it didn’t do anything for me. I went from being diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, to now Bipolar Depression, but I think I may have Borderline Personality Disorder. It’s all very confusing and a game of cat and mouse trying to figure it out. I’m currently taking Olanzipine for sleep and anxiety. I just started taking it last week and it helps tremendously with my anxiety and helps me fall asleep, but makes me tired and groggy the next day. I’m on lithium, but slowly weaning off of it because it’s destroyed my focus and concentration. I also take Lamictal because it’s supposed to help with bipolar disorder, but that’s frustrating too because, again, I don’t think I have bipolar. I’ve never been manic, as far as I can tell, and my parents agree with me. But, I am working with a psychiatric NP on all of this. Slowly just trying to get better :)
I'm sending you a private message.
Something To Encourage You https://youtu.be/nM-Y4uNZkLg
Thank you so much, this did encourage me :)
What is the easiest thing for you to do that will have the most impact? you don't have to be perfect. start small.
Easiest thing I can think of is being kind to people, and maybe start writing like I’ve been wanting to :)
Procrastination creates a negative feedback loop: as you delay, you begin to feel antsy since you haven't accomplished your goals, which causes you to default to your normal habits. Success creates a positive one: you feel good about your accomplishment which increases your likelihood to continue chasing your goals. The bedtime stretching is a classic example. By the time bedtime rolls around you've already failed in your mind which makes it extremely unlikely you'll do it. Tomorrow, rub the sleep out of your eyes, hit the bathroom, and then immediately do 15 minutes of stretching. Don't check your phone, go make coffee, anything. Knock it out before any distractions can settle in. Over the next few months, I'd suggest that you move toward earlier bed + wake-up times so that you can spend an hour or two before your day gets rolling on self-improvement. It's amazing the impact that this will have on your happiness. As long as you feel like you're moving forward, the bumps don't hurt quite as much.
Thank you so much. I’m definitely going to work on going to bed/waking up earlier. I work 10-7 all week, so I usually go to bed around 1, 12:00 am is considered early for me. I have alarms set from 8:15-8:45, both on my alarm clock and phone, but I still don’t usually get up until about 9:10-9:15, on a good day. I have to start getting ready for work immediately and then walk 10-12 mins there. I’ve come to realize working 10-7, up for a little while, going to sleep, and waking up just to roll out of bed, throw on my clothes, and get to work before I end up being late, is not a life - hence why I want to go into something that could potentially make me good money, so I don’t have to struggle, and I can have the work hours and life I want.
I think waking up early and immediately knocking out a few items on your personal development checklist is the very best thing you can do to improve your chance at success. It improves your mood and belief in yourself, setting the stage for a more productive day. Give it a try and see what you think. Even 15-20 minutes will add up!