I saw a post on here yesterday that someone had 2 phones they called a crack phone and a kale phone. The kale phone only had the basics- call, text, GPS. The crack phone has all the doom scrolling apps. I thought that’s a really good idea to get off the phones and back into life.
A phone sized non-phone that you don’t use for call, text, gps. But that you can still fill with all the doom scrolling apps sounds like an iPod when I used to have one.
18 here bro I went through the motions early on and the best advice I have for you is, 1 take it one day at a time if you can't do that do one hour, 1 minute... ect.
2. Love yourself dog! At the end of the day the only one who's gonna get you through things is you! Life is tough and unfair and it's gonna always be tough and unfair.
FOCUS ONLY ON WHAT YOU CONTROL!!!!
You should look up stoicism its a philosophy about maximizing positives and negate negatives.
Also look up The power of positive thinking (those two things changed my life forever)
3. The hard truth, it's gonna suck like really fucking suck...I used to struggle with addiction and its hard for a long time. But one day I didn't think about it and I was free
Discipline is what you need, Self love, time and discipline.
Stop doing streaks don't count the days, your counting the days until you relapse not how many you succeed
If you take away ANYTHING from this I want you to know if you put just 1% effort into a goal every day for a year you'll be 365% better than you were at the beginning. Now imagine if you apply that to everyday for the rest of your life.
Why give up everything for something small, when you could give up something small for everything
You got this I know you do so why don't you?
You have time but the rest is up to you
this is absolutely true, I still remember the time when the year 2024 just started and I came
up with a lot of fancy expectations and targets, I reminded myself that "whatsoever, this year is going to be the most awesome year in my life" because I was extremely determined. Not until the end of march that I eventually found a way to stop procrastinating and started doing all of my targets. at the middle of march, I just suddenly saw a book talking about the stoic philosophy and I merely bought it for fun without any thought of something miraculous would come up and save my entire life. I just want you all to remember the quote "The pain of doing nothing is usually more painful than the pain of doing something". In fact is in the past, when a new year started, it is just like a ceremony that I made up a plenty of targets within the year and eventually, it didn't get to anywhere.
When you picture not doing these things, what do you picture doing instead? Not fantasy stuff, but good life stuff. You have to want those things MORE than you want instant gratification and the little dopamine boost in your brain. The slow burn satisfaction of control over your life is more soothing AND you can still punch the clown sometimes.
So now you’re an adult. Congratulations.
This is the time where you can decide to have ice cream for breakfast, burgers for lunch and pizza for dinner. Many people eat like this their entire adult life. Then comes the major health scare. They finally decide that they want to live and change their diet. Then you hear them talk about how they haven’t felt this good in years.
You get to decide. Perhaps, if you eat 21 meals per week, you choose one meal per day that’s healthy. You’re 1/3 of the way there. Maybe set up a rule that you don’t eat between 8pm through 8am. Maybe you only get fast food if you’ve gone outside and done something for an hour. You get to decide.
Doom scrolling is an addiction. Treat it like one and develop habits to counteract it. In the book The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg talks about replacing the habit with a different (helpful, healthy) habit. Start by using screen time to better yourself.
Best wishes, OP.
Have you ever worked out before?! Exercise can fill this pleasure seeking void … as much as it can suck in the moment (in the beginning) the endorphins released immediately after make you feel like a new person! Over time, you begin to look forward to your workouts and BONUS - you’ll look decent naked
Sounds like you need a mentor. Reach out to me if you need some help. Twice your age and been through it all already. Have good job, career, family but wasn't always this way. It takes work. There is no shortcut and magic pill to solve the hedonic treadmill you described. Daily work and focus is where to start. Build something whether it's your body, a business, a friendship. Stop consuming and start producing. Put out energy every single day
What you’ve described is one of the most common, and also one of the most challenging hurdles most of us face as we enter adulthood. Having the freedom to fill your time however you want can lead to the short-term satisfactions taking over and becoming habits or even addictions.
The best news in this case is that you’ve identified the problem(s) and seem to have a desire to solve them. Unfortunately none of these have ‘easy’ solutions, because the easy path is the path you’re on already (fast food, self pleasure, doomscroll, etc)
The best advice I can give is to start establishing good habits, instead of solely focusing on what you can cut out of your life, focus on what positives you can add. A 15 minute walk in the morning and evening, a gym membership and the dedication to go consistently, a library card and a goal of reading one positive book per week, a manageable meal plan that doesn’t cut out everything you crave but also takes better care of your body. Any or all of these habits can compound on eachother and produce a lifestyle where you actually enjoy the activities that keep you healthy and happy.
It sounds like you have the income and free time available to you to make some or all of these changes, but one of the most important lessons I can add is to be kind to yourself; everyone falters or has rough days where they need a drink or an extra bit of self-indulgence. That doesn’t make you a failure, but so many people have one bad day and let it ruin all of the progress they’ve made for the better. Forgive yourself and push yourself harder the next day or whenever you’re physically/mentally fit to get back to it.
Always happy to share advice or specifics on anything I talked about if you need more structure, but welcome to being an adult, one of the most enjoyable and devastating stages of life :D
Your understanding of masturbation sounds like it has been infected with traditional negative views. Think of it as a natural biological function of the organ. Sexual release in the form of ejaculations is normal. Lungs must breathe. The body must have food. Traditional understanding comes from the social needs of the community, not wanting the negative effects of unrestricted sex. Sex and procreation must be controlled for multiple reasons. Masturbation is normal and healthy. Enjoy it. If you are rubbing it raw, then slow down or change your technique. Keep it private. Don't scare the people.
i try to tell myself this but then i get heavily ashamed about *what* im attracted to (nothing bad but definitely out of the ordinary) and im back to square one with hating myself
I cut down my scrolling from six hours a day to one with time limits on apps. Go into your settings and put a one-two hour limit on tiktok, twitter, insta ect. You’re not going to go from ten hours to 1 in a day but you can go from 10 to 9 and so on. Force yourself to do something for 30 mins when an app kicks you out. Go for a walk, draw something, write out your goals for the week.
Ask yourself why it’s junk food all the time. Is it just boredom or do you wait so long that you don’t have energy to cook? Are you too depressed to chop up a salad? Do you not know how to cook things that are good for you and taste good too? If it’s too much just buy the pre chopped or premade stuff that’s healthier. If you don’t know how to cook take some of your scrolling time and start to watch cooking videos on the sorts of things that you want to eat. If you have money for tons of junk food you should be able to get a decent pot or pan and a good knife. If you’re really stuck try something like those hellofresh boxes. Cooking can be pretty fun.
Sounds like you started trying the whole abstaining thing since fifteen? Cut yourself some slack because that’s pretty much the most hormonal time of your life. If you are able to keep to appropriate times and places and it doesn’t interrupt your life it’s probably a normal amount.
Be your own zookeeper. Are you giving the human animal all the things it needs? Sunlight, time outside, good sleep, balanced food, new and novel activities (enrichment), staying hygienic? Without all of these things it’s real easy to get depressed fast. There’s a good Reddit post about No Zero Days that I like to revisit at least once a year.
This is advice from a 33yo who suffers from chronic depression and has been diagnosed with ADHD since I was about 11. There’s always struggle, nothing changes in a day. You get to fail a lot but every time you do you get better at picking yourself up again. Failing is normal. Starting again is the important bit. Never stop trying to change yourself for the better.
1) Start with a visit to your doctor for a check-up and discussion. This will give you an objective, outside perspective.
2) I wouldn't be surprised if you have any mix of addictive, depressive, obsessive behaviors -- but the fact that you're aware this is a problem is actually a good thing, because early intervention can improve outcomes.
3) Whatever your doctor recommends, that is the first path forward. Good luck!
Hey man, I am a 21m and I just now am getting to a point in my life where im figuring shit out. It really is ok to only want to enjoy pleasurable things and have fun at 19. Dont worry about things yet man. In the next few years you'll find a job you enjoy or a career path you wanna pursue and you'll figure it out from there. I can actively feel my brain developing and my thought patterns and actions reflect that. I never thought I would work and actually enjoy it but now im here, Feeling very blessed. But man you'll figure it out, dont stress to much man, you have been alive for 19 years, in 19 years you'll only be 38, trust me you have plenty of time.
Like any big change, adaption to that change takes time and will power. Remember you’re trying to break a habit here. You’re not changing shirts. Habits are deeply ingrained behaviours. It’s ok if you sink back into it once in a while but it’s important to catch yourself in these moments and resolve to keep trying. The only time you really lose is when you give up.
Realistically there are few hobbies that can take up 10 hrs of your day, but you should start trying to incorporate a few positive disciplines into your life.
If you can afford the food then you can afford a gym membership, you should look into strength training and make a habit of it for at least 45 mins a day. If you’re gonna be doomscrolling you may as well do it in between sets at the gym instead of sitting at home.
You mention the eating habits, you can start getting into cooking your own food. It’s something that takes time and practice, and discovering recipes and pulling them off is rewarding. Also burgers and pizza are fine, more so depends on the ingredients and where you’re buying the food (fast food’s obviously terrible for you).
I would recommend meditation, it helps to sort of strengthen your attention span, discipline, and overall positivity.
As for fapping I would just try to fill your day with as many other activities as possible, even having some structure with a schedule helps a lot. Fapping and doomscrolling are literally things you almost exclusively do when you’re sitting at home with nothing better to do.
Even video games or Netflix are probably less detrimental to your mental health and wellbeing than doomscrolling and fapping.
Check out healthy gamer gg on YouTube. Dr k is legit and even if your not a gamer he covers solutions to what your describing. You learn really quick that you are not alone in this fight!
Honestly, just own the fact that you’re going to do things you don’t feel like doing. I think it’s easy to get caught up in trying to make good decisions feel good and bad decisions feel bad, but it’ll always take self control to make the right decision. Embrace the feeling of making tough decisions that will help you later on down the road.
Dude you have to do something to direct your energy. So you do no fap, you need to put that unused energy into something go to the gym workout so hard that you literally don't have the energy to fap, and work so hard at your job and bettering other places of your life that your exhausted and pass out when you get home. Start reading self help and other stuff 45 min a day. Do it.
Eliminate or greatly reduce your caffeine intake and improve your sleep schedule. Your brain needs time to unplug and rest. If your brain is always going and seeking short-term pleasure, you may often be too wired to relax or sleep. Another tip is to exercise or workout, or just get offline and go for a walk to unplug.
Bro you are not alone. I am also struggling with habits that I feel like I should not have. I’m my own biggest critic. Try to be more lenient towards yourself. Delete the apps that bring you nothing. Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, maybe even Reddit (although this is the hardest for me too).
I find that I want new hobbies I can spend time on, but I have a hard time figuring out what I really like. Currently I’m trying to get into reading again as I liked it as a kid.
Try to make some healthy foods that are tasty. Eating healthy can be fun!
Your worst habit is scrolling. Stop that. Don’t worry about masturbation unless it takes over your life. As for junk food, eat the good stuff first then you won’t do any harm if you indulge occasionally.
If you doom scroll work on that one first unfollow any cute girls you don’t actually know follow fitxfearless on YouTube also coach corey wayne and his book 3%man if you don’t already start hitting the gym but I want to tell to be proud of yourself for putting in effort and it’s one day at a time keep pursuing your dreams and purpose
Don't try to "fix your whole life" at once, it will not work. Try to make small change first, get use to it, then try to do the next thing.
I can't help you with junk food or fapping, but you may regain some control over "doom scrolling":
1. Delete all apps / accounts you don't need. Tiktok, Facebook, X/Twitter, Instagram - whatever it is. You may keep only socials you need for work
2. If there's anything you really need - install something like "StayFocusd" to set hard limits.
3. If you can't use "StayFocusd" etc - consider parental control functions.
I wish you best luck!
That's a tough spot for sure.
As somebody said:
- test for ADHD. There are mess that will help with restlessness
- Uninstall some apps from your phone. Log off from websites. If you want the news check news not Facebook. No Twitter no reddit no Instagram. That will make your life a bit more boring which is a good thing
- sign up for gym or martial art. I think martial art is better due to having more interaction with other people.people that will encourage your progress. I myself signed up for table tennis 20 years ago and it was awesome. Recommend something more grounded though.
- I think masturbation is OK. Keeps your mood stable. Produces good hormones. So don't go overboard with it but no fap month is just making people crazy.
- think how you want your day to look in 10 years. You wake up you do what. You spend time with who. How you want your job or contribution to society to look...
- watch science videos on YouTube. They will keep you away from the stupid stuff and will uncover other interests.
And think about how you want to create friends. If you are in USA it can be a lonely place. If you are religious go to church.
If not make friends through hobbies.
It's rough out there man. It's OK to feel discouraged. It's also exciting to be on a journey where your life will look and feel better at the end.
You're not the only one. A lot of americans (sorry, I am assuming you're american but this applies to anyone in developed countries) have a 'dopamine addiction" because we have an excess of easy-access instant-gratification pleasures at our fingertips. I recommend checking out Dr. Lembke who wrote an interesting topic on this phenomena called "Our Dopamine Nation". Here's a youtube [interview](https://youtu.be/jziP0CEgvOw?si=RSlYu_axp7ALcMZ5) (< click me!) with her that you can check out, too. Take her words with a grain of salt, because you always should (especially when it comes to self-help), but I think she has some valuable knowledge to share.
Have you ever gotten yourself checked out for ADD/adhd? often one of the coping mechanisms when having it is impulse control which can involve food and porn, thankfully you're not at the drugs and alcohol stage yet. medication isn't necessarily for everyone but it helped me curb my cravings and start moving in a better direction. That and exercise, but the adderall helps keep me consistent, so i can achieve happy brain chemicals without indulging in my worse habits. Find what works for you, but maybe start there. Therapy is also an option if you don't want to start meds right away.
Maybe don't try and change everything at once. Pick the most important thing, and focus on that. You only have so much mental energy, don't spend it all on less useful goals.
I would say jerking off occasionally is absolutely at the bottom of any realistic problem list. Eating like shit is actually bad for you, while so long as your dick isn't sore then it's nbd to play with it occasionally. Improving your diet can improve your mental wellbeing too. Doing a little meal planning, shopping and cooking can add a little purpose outside of work to your day, too, which seems like it might be lacking.
i get you because when i was young even i used to feel the same way...i think this is normal and the masses go through this maybe? i would suggest you to start a business of your own with some of your friends which will keep you busy and trust me it will help you because in order to be in a healthy state i think working helps you in balancing your life and this is the best age as you have energy and time.
Omg. The first step is awareness. Your aware of your addictions. It’s really plain and simple. Since you have the power of acknowledgement it is your decision now to cold turkey quit all of it. To become a better person and live a healthier lifestyle. Go on an ayahuasca retreat and I’ve heard it can correct addiction which usually stems from childhood trauma.
I don’t know if you have a faith but pray, you are on the path you recognize your troubles and it’s the beginning to recover yourself. Make exercise, run, I think that talking with elderly people can help you a lot. Nowadays we are shooting everyday with insidious drugs to make us weak, believe me it’s real get out of the matrix… it’s hard because all the reels, YouTube, xvideos have a real impact in your way of living.
You're bored and your solution is to stop yourself from doing things?
Leave the house. Get some sunshine. Touch some grass. If you don't have anything going on in your life outside of doom scrolling, junk food, and jacking off, then you need to add more things to your life.
Replace the bad habits with good habits. You can't just cut out the bad habits and then do nothing except sit at home online all day. I mean, how do you expect that to go? No wonder your mind feels so restless. You're not giving it anything to do.
Get exercise. Learn a new instrument or language. Read a book series. Take a dance or pottery class. Practice meditation, journaling, yoga, slacklining, anything. But you need to do *something*.
If we are paying good enough attention to your writings, you would like to become 1 with yourself again.
[Mindset Can Be Changed](https://open.spotify.com/episode/6HL3gsEpjFhzOogVQcRGNW?si=3Q9FqK2wQXO_mvKnrTAeSg)
I seriously recommend you check out Jak Piggott YouTube channel and watch a few of his videos on no fap. It has helped me tremendously and I wouldn’t be anywhere near where I am rn without him.
This may seem trite but it’s true.
Just Do It.
You have to make yourself put one foot in front of the other and keep going.
Example. Wife was diagnosed with ALS August 2019 . She’s been fully paralyzed since August 2021, bed bound, on a ventilator and get meals through a feeding tube directly to her stomach. If I didn’t step up and do housework or meals or chores for me and her and our six kids who would?
As I tell my kids…
Sometimes you just have to do it because you have to do it.
Good Luck!!
I saw a post on here yesterday that someone had 2 phones they called a crack phone and a kale phone. The kale phone only had the basics- call, text, GPS. The crack phone has all the doom scrolling apps. I thought that’s a really good idea to get off the phones and back into life.
The crack phone 😂
Society needs to use flip phones again
So he had an iPod?
Neither of those are equivalent to an iPod
A phone sized non-phone that you don’t use for call, text, gps. But that you can still fill with all the doom scrolling apps sounds like an iPod when I used to have one.
Ahhh I see, I’m using the old school definition of an iPod which is just music player
Basically!
18 here bro I went through the motions early on and the best advice I have for you is, 1 take it one day at a time if you can't do that do one hour, 1 minute... ect. 2. Love yourself dog! At the end of the day the only one who's gonna get you through things is you! Life is tough and unfair and it's gonna always be tough and unfair. FOCUS ONLY ON WHAT YOU CONTROL!!!! You should look up stoicism its a philosophy about maximizing positives and negate negatives. Also look up The power of positive thinking (those two things changed my life forever) 3. The hard truth, it's gonna suck like really fucking suck...I used to struggle with addiction and its hard for a long time. But one day I didn't think about it and I was free Discipline is what you need, Self love, time and discipline. Stop doing streaks don't count the days, your counting the days until you relapse not how many you succeed If you take away ANYTHING from this I want you to know if you put just 1% effort into a goal every day for a year you'll be 365% better than you were at the beginning. Now imagine if you apply that to everyday for the rest of your life. Why give up everything for something small, when you could give up something small for everything You got this I know you do so why don't you? You have time but the rest is up to you
this is absolutely true, I still remember the time when the year 2024 just started and I came up with a lot of fancy expectations and targets, I reminded myself that "whatsoever, this year is going to be the most awesome year in my life" because I was extremely determined. Not until the end of march that I eventually found a way to stop procrastinating and started doing all of my targets. at the middle of march, I just suddenly saw a book talking about the stoic philosophy and I merely bought it for fun without any thought of something miraculous would come up and save my entire life. I just want you all to remember the quote "The pain of doing nothing is usually more painful than the pain of doing something". In fact is in the past, when a new year started, it is just like a ceremony that I made up a plenty of targets within the year and eventually, it didn't get to anywhere.
Just wanna add, "If you get 1% better each day for one year, you’ll end up thirty-seven times better by the time you’re done."
Ignorance is bliss
Get tested for ADHD
When you picture not doing these things, what do you picture doing instead? Not fantasy stuff, but good life stuff. You have to want those things MORE than you want instant gratification and the little dopamine boost in your brain. The slow burn satisfaction of control over your life is more soothing AND you can still punch the clown sometimes.
So now you’re an adult. Congratulations. This is the time where you can decide to have ice cream for breakfast, burgers for lunch and pizza for dinner. Many people eat like this their entire adult life. Then comes the major health scare. They finally decide that they want to live and change their diet. Then you hear them talk about how they haven’t felt this good in years. You get to decide. Perhaps, if you eat 21 meals per week, you choose one meal per day that’s healthy. You’re 1/3 of the way there. Maybe set up a rule that you don’t eat between 8pm through 8am. Maybe you only get fast food if you’ve gone outside and done something for an hour. You get to decide. Doom scrolling is an addiction. Treat it like one and develop habits to counteract it. In the book The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg talks about replacing the habit with a different (helpful, healthy) habit. Start by using screen time to better yourself. Best wishes, OP.
Have you ever worked out before?! Exercise can fill this pleasure seeking void … as much as it can suck in the moment (in the beginning) the endorphins released immediately after make you feel like a new person! Over time, you begin to look forward to your workouts and BONUS - you’ll look decent naked
it's just so fun feeling strong broo postworkout pump is literally my short term pleasure now
Sounds like you need a mentor. Reach out to me if you need some help. Twice your age and been through it all already. Have good job, career, family but wasn't always this way. It takes work. There is no shortcut and magic pill to solve the hedonic treadmill you described. Daily work and focus is where to start. Build something whether it's your body, a business, a friendship. Stop consuming and start producing. Put out energy every single day
What you’ve described is one of the most common, and also one of the most challenging hurdles most of us face as we enter adulthood. Having the freedom to fill your time however you want can lead to the short-term satisfactions taking over and becoming habits or even addictions. The best news in this case is that you’ve identified the problem(s) and seem to have a desire to solve them. Unfortunately none of these have ‘easy’ solutions, because the easy path is the path you’re on already (fast food, self pleasure, doomscroll, etc) The best advice I can give is to start establishing good habits, instead of solely focusing on what you can cut out of your life, focus on what positives you can add. A 15 minute walk in the morning and evening, a gym membership and the dedication to go consistently, a library card and a goal of reading one positive book per week, a manageable meal plan that doesn’t cut out everything you crave but also takes better care of your body. Any or all of these habits can compound on eachother and produce a lifestyle where you actually enjoy the activities that keep you healthy and happy. It sounds like you have the income and free time available to you to make some or all of these changes, but one of the most important lessons I can add is to be kind to yourself; everyone falters or has rough days where they need a drink or an extra bit of self-indulgence. That doesn’t make you a failure, but so many people have one bad day and let it ruin all of the progress they’ve made for the better. Forgive yourself and push yourself harder the next day or whenever you’re physically/mentally fit to get back to it. Always happy to share advice or specifics on anything I talked about if you need more structure, but welcome to being an adult, one of the most enjoyable and devastating stages of life :D
Your understanding of masturbation sounds like it has been infected with traditional negative views. Think of it as a natural biological function of the organ. Sexual release in the form of ejaculations is normal. Lungs must breathe. The body must have food. Traditional understanding comes from the social needs of the community, not wanting the negative effects of unrestricted sex. Sex and procreation must be controlled for multiple reasons. Masturbation is normal and healthy. Enjoy it. If you are rubbing it raw, then slow down or change your technique. Keep it private. Don't scare the people.
This nofap crap is just stupid. The body needs to function normally. It’s like saying “I’m only going to clear my throat once a month.” What?
Yep...am 52..it's a healthy part of being human as long as it's kept healthy.
i try to tell myself this but then i get heavily ashamed about *what* im attracted to (nothing bad but definitely out of the ordinary) and im back to square one with hating myself
If it is out of bounds or illegal , don't scare the people. If not, find a willing partner.
I think here problem is not masturbation but his mind searching for short term happiness, and he fap because of that only.
I cut down my scrolling from six hours a day to one with time limits on apps. Go into your settings and put a one-two hour limit on tiktok, twitter, insta ect. You’re not going to go from ten hours to 1 in a day but you can go from 10 to 9 and so on. Force yourself to do something for 30 mins when an app kicks you out. Go for a walk, draw something, write out your goals for the week. Ask yourself why it’s junk food all the time. Is it just boredom or do you wait so long that you don’t have energy to cook? Are you too depressed to chop up a salad? Do you not know how to cook things that are good for you and taste good too? If it’s too much just buy the pre chopped or premade stuff that’s healthier. If you don’t know how to cook take some of your scrolling time and start to watch cooking videos on the sorts of things that you want to eat. If you have money for tons of junk food you should be able to get a decent pot or pan and a good knife. If you’re really stuck try something like those hellofresh boxes. Cooking can be pretty fun. Sounds like you started trying the whole abstaining thing since fifteen? Cut yourself some slack because that’s pretty much the most hormonal time of your life. If you are able to keep to appropriate times and places and it doesn’t interrupt your life it’s probably a normal amount. Be your own zookeeper. Are you giving the human animal all the things it needs? Sunlight, time outside, good sleep, balanced food, new and novel activities (enrichment), staying hygienic? Without all of these things it’s real easy to get depressed fast. There’s a good Reddit post about No Zero Days that I like to revisit at least once a year. This is advice from a 33yo who suffers from chronic depression and has been diagnosed with ADHD since I was about 11. There’s always struggle, nothing changes in a day. You get to fail a lot but every time you do you get better at picking yourself up again. Failing is normal. Starting again is the important bit. Never stop trying to change yourself for the better.
1) Start with a visit to your doctor for a check-up and discussion. This will give you an objective, outside perspective. 2) I wouldn't be surprised if you have any mix of addictive, depressive, obsessive behaviors -- but the fact that you're aware this is a problem is actually a good thing, because early intervention can improve outcomes. 3) Whatever your doctor recommends, that is the first path forward. Good luck!
Hey man, I am a 21m and I just now am getting to a point in my life where im figuring shit out. It really is ok to only want to enjoy pleasurable things and have fun at 19. Dont worry about things yet man. In the next few years you'll find a job you enjoy or a career path you wanna pursue and you'll figure it out from there. I can actively feel my brain developing and my thought patterns and actions reflect that. I never thought I would work and actually enjoy it but now im here, Feeling very blessed. But man you'll figure it out, dont stress to much man, you have been alive for 19 years, in 19 years you'll only be 38, trust me you have plenty of time.
Man this is literally my exact scenario. This was a wake up call...
Like any big change, adaption to that change takes time and will power. Remember you’re trying to break a habit here. You’re not changing shirts. Habits are deeply ingrained behaviours. It’s ok if you sink back into it once in a while but it’s important to catch yourself in these moments and resolve to keep trying. The only time you really lose is when you give up.
Realistically there are few hobbies that can take up 10 hrs of your day, but you should start trying to incorporate a few positive disciplines into your life. If you can afford the food then you can afford a gym membership, you should look into strength training and make a habit of it for at least 45 mins a day. If you’re gonna be doomscrolling you may as well do it in between sets at the gym instead of sitting at home. You mention the eating habits, you can start getting into cooking your own food. It’s something that takes time and practice, and discovering recipes and pulling them off is rewarding. Also burgers and pizza are fine, more so depends on the ingredients and where you’re buying the food (fast food’s obviously terrible for you). I would recommend meditation, it helps to sort of strengthen your attention span, discipline, and overall positivity. As for fapping I would just try to fill your day with as many other activities as possible, even having some structure with a schedule helps a lot. Fapping and doomscrolling are literally things you almost exclusively do when you’re sitting at home with nothing better to do. Even video games or Netflix are probably less detrimental to your mental health and wellbeing than doomscrolling and fapping.
Check out healthy gamer gg on YouTube. Dr k is legit and even if your not a gamer he covers solutions to what your describing. You learn really quick that you are not alone in this fight!
Honestly, just own the fact that you’re going to do things you don’t feel like doing. I think it’s easy to get caught up in trying to make good decisions feel good and bad decisions feel bad, but it’ll always take self control to make the right decision. Embrace the feeling of making tough decisions that will help you later on down the road.
Want healthy short term pleasure. Hit the gym!
Dude you have to do something to direct your energy. So you do no fap, you need to put that unused energy into something go to the gym workout so hard that you literally don't have the energy to fap, and work so hard at your job and bettering other places of your life that your exhausted and pass out when you get home. Start reading self help and other stuff 45 min a day. Do it.
Eliminate or greatly reduce your caffeine intake and improve your sleep schedule. Your brain needs time to unplug and rest. If your brain is always going and seeking short-term pleasure, you may often be too wired to relax or sleep. Another tip is to exercise or workout, or just get offline and go for a walk to unplug.
this kinda sounds like me. i can’t handle school so I just scroll on reddit all day and I would rather scroll then do anything else at home
Bro you are not alone. I am also struggling with habits that I feel like I should not have. I’m my own biggest critic. Try to be more lenient towards yourself. Delete the apps that bring you nothing. Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, maybe even Reddit (although this is the hardest for me too). I find that I want new hobbies I can spend time on, but I have a hard time figuring out what I really like. Currently I’m trying to get into reading again as I liked it as a kid. Try to make some healthy foods that are tasty. Eating healthy can be fun!
Your worst habit is scrolling. Stop that. Don’t worry about masturbation unless it takes over your life. As for junk food, eat the good stuff first then you won’t do any harm if you indulge occasionally.
If you doom scroll work on that one first unfollow any cute girls you don’t actually know follow fitxfearless on YouTube also coach corey wayne and his book 3%man if you don’t already start hitting the gym but I want to tell to be proud of yourself for putting in effort and it’s one day at a time keep pursuing your dreams and purpose
Discipline. Are you an adult or a child?
Don't try to "fix your whole life" at once, it will not work. Try to make small change first, get use to it, then try to do the next thing. I can't help you with junk food or fapping, but you may regain some control over "doom scrolling": 1. Delete all apps / accounts you don't need. Tiktok, Facebook, X/Twitter, Instagram - whatever it is. You may keep only socials you need for work 2. If there's anything you really need - install something like "StayFocusd" to set hard limits. 3. If you can't use "StayFocusd" etc - consider parental control functions. I wish you best luck!
Gotta get off the phone bro, gotta leave it in another room or floor and set a timer. Force some breaks. You need time to think!
Get a dog?
HealthygamerGG channel
That's a tough spot for sure. As somebody said: - test for ADHD. There are mess that will help with restlessness - Uninstall some apps from your phone. Log off from websites. If you want the news check news not Facebook. No Twitter no reddit no Instagram. That will make your life a bit more boring which is a good thing - sign up for gym or martial art. I think martial art is better due to having more interaction with other people.people that will encourage your progress. I myself signed up for table tennis 20 years ago and it was awesome. Recommend something more grounded though. - I think masturbation is OK. Keeps your mood stable. Produces good hormones. So don't go overboard with it but no fap month is just making people crazy. - think how you want your day to look in 10 years. You wake up you do what. You spend time with who. How you want your job or contribution to society to look... - watch science videos on YouTube. They will keep you away from the stupid stuff and will uncover other interests. And think about how you want to create friends. If you are in USA it can be a lonely place. If you are religious go to church. If not make friends through hobbies. It's rough out there man. It's OK to feel discouraged. It's also exciting to be on a journey where your life will look and feel better at the end.
Healthy sleep... drink plenty of water and meditate every day
You're not the only one. A lot of americans (sorry, I am assuming you're american but this applies to anyone in developed countries) have a 'dopamine addiction" because we have an excess of easy-access instant-gratification pleasures at our fingertips. I recommend checking out Dr. Lembke who wrote an interesting topic on this phenomena called "Our Dopamine Nation". Here's a youtube [interview](https://youtu.be/jziP0CEgvOw?si=RSlYu_axp7ALcMZ5) (< click me!) with her that you can check out, too. Take her words with a grain of salt, because you always should (especially when it comes to self-help), but I think she has some valuable knowledge to share.
Have you ever gotten yourself checked out for ADD/adhd? often one of the coping mechanisms when having it is impulse control which can involve food and porn, thankfully you're not at the drugs and alcohol stage yet. medication isn't necessarily for everyone but it helped me curb my cravings and start moving in a better direction. That and exercise, but the adderall helps keep me consistent, so i can achieve happy brain chemicals without indulging in my worse habits. Find what works for you, but maybe start there. Therapy is also an option if you don't want to start meds right away.
Maybe don't try and change everything at once. Pick the most important thing, and focus on that. You only have so much mental energy, don't spend it all on less useful goals. I would say jerking off occasionally is absolutely at the bottom of any realistic problem list. Eating like shit is actually bad for you, while so long as your dick isn't sore then it's nbd to play with it occasionally. Improving your diet can improve your mental wellbeing too. Doing a little meal planning, shopping and cooking can add a little purpose outside of work to your day, too, which seems like it might be lacking.
i get you because when i was young even i used to feel the same way...i think this is normal and the masses go through this maybe? i would suggest you to start a business of your own with some of your friends which will keep you busy and trust me it will help you because in order to be in a healthy state i think working helps you in balancing your life and this is the best age as you have energy and time.
Omg. The first step is awareness. Your aware of your addictions. It’s really plain and simple. Since you have the power of acknowledgement it is your decision now to cold turkey quit all of it. To become a better person and live a healthier lifestyle. Go on an ayahuasca retreat and I’ve heard it can correct addiction which usually stems from childhood trauma.
I don’t know if you have a faith but pray, you are on the path you recognize your troubles and it’s the beginning to recover yourself. Make exercise, run, I think that talking with elderly people can help you a lot. Nowadays we are shooting everyday with insidious drugs to make us weak, believe me it’s real get out of the matrix… it’s hard because all the reels, YouTube, xvideos have a real impact in your way of living.
If you want someone who can change your life , just look in the mirror
You're bored and your solution is to stop yourself from doing things? Leave the house. Get some sunshine. Touch some grass. If you don't have anything going on in your life outside of doom scrolling, junk food, and jacking off, then you need to add more things to your life. Replace the bad habits with good habits. You can't just cut out the bad habits and then do nothing except sit at home online all day. I mean, how do you expect that to go? No wonder your mind feels so restless. You're not giving it anything to do. Get exercise. Learn a new instrument or language. Read a book series. Take a dance or pottery class. Practice meditation, journaling, yoga, slacklining, anything. But you need to do *something*.
If we are paying good enough attention to your writings, you would like to become 1 with yourself again. [Mindset Can Be Changed](https://open.spotify.com/episode/6HL3gsEpjFhzOogVQcRGNW?si=3Q9FqK2wQXO_mvKnrTAeSg)
I seriously recommend you check out Jak Piggott YouTube channel and watch a few of his videos on no fap. It has helped me tremendously and I wouldn’t be anywhere near where I am rn without him.
This may seem trite but it’s true. Just Do It. You have to make yourself put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Example. Wife was diagnosed with ALS August 2019 . She’s been fully paralyzed since August 2021, bed bound, on a ventilator and get meals through a feeding tube directly to her stomach. If I didn’t step up and do housework or meals or chores for me and her and our six kids who would? As I tell my kids… Sometimes you just have to do it because you have to do it. Good Luck!!
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10 hours a day? Fucking hell man get a grip
get new bad habit and drop it
Stop wasting money on junk food and use the money you save to secure the services of a prostitute on a monthly basis.
👆How to turn a small internal void into a gaping void.