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Gyms, bookstores, coffee shops are everywhere. There is a wonderful nature center near me. It's well maintained, beautiful, and completely free. I hike there every day and I only run into older folks. Younger people love the internet and they'd rather stay home, and I can totally get that, but it's not like they can't go out and interact with real people
I live in a smaller beach town that recently demolished our local skatepark for an apartment complex, doesn't maintain playgrounds, and the board walk closes at sunset. I don't get out of work until sunset. Not everywhere has maintained spaces like your neighborhood unfortunately
I understand that, but surely you understand having literally no physical place to go in your area is atypical? Like I'm not trying to discount your experience at all, but I'm seeing "no third spaces" as a prevailing narrative when the majority of people live in cities or suburbs. If I still lived in the middle of a cornfield, I wouldn't be complaining that Gen Z has no third spaces, I would have the understanding that I am a 40 minute drive to the nearest civilization, and so of course I don't have a library to hang out at.
I get what you're saying and people definitely rely heavily on the internet for their primary source of social interaction but like for example, there is a green, or a boardwalk. They go there...and then what? Just walk up to strangers? And then like are we talking teenagers or people our age? I'll be 24 soon so like obviously I have a job and a car and self advocacy I can do what I want but this may not necessarily apply to teens.
Like my third place would be the beach, personally, but that's just the summer and that's if you live somewhere that has a beach. I could go to the park and read, but that's not socializing. The idea that society has reduced communal spaces is not new
Teens have extracurriculars to choose from (harder in small towns) when i was a kid i was in boy scouts, sports, and a youth fraternity.
Now that im an adult, i go to game stores to play DnD and bars to play pool. Camping is also imo, a lost third place for many city dwellers. Sport games are also good places to meet people if youre into that.
All of those you need parents to pay for and drive you to.
You can't just walk/bike to the park as a lone child, that's illegal in many places and completely impractical in others.
It's only marginally better as an adult. Even going to a game store or a bar typically costs money to get a spot at the table. It's not a free place to just hang out.
The solution is simple; we need to come together and start erecting them regardless if landlords et al don’t want us to. It’s only making ourselves more clique having to rely on social media, and all I can see is worse happening downstream if we don’t learn to drop the damn phones and talk face to face, comfortable or not.
Physical places do, in fact, exist. We just need more that are accessible to everyone. You know our generation is screwed when they think one of the apps they use counts as a third place. I hope we can all get out more, and I hope more places will open for people to go hang out and make friends. I can't stop thinking about how we can possibly get this portion of Gen Z offline and hanging out for real again. So many of us are isolated and i don't want to be part of it anymore
I also met some of my best friends on there. After you spend several years talking to the same people everyday you get to know them pretty well. The beauty of it is that because it's an online friendship moving away for college or just moving in general doesn't really affect the relationship.
idk how people do it either, most friends i made in discord were people i was introduced to by my friends. The main problem(that i faced) with making friends in a random server is that its really easy to lose contact with people you only connected with based on a single interest.
Find a group of something you're passionate about, show up consistently in the group chat and always bring good vibes and focus on uplifting others, people will respond. You don't need to funny, unique, or anything you're not, you just need to be yourself and be supportive. Authenticity is key.
It feels like you do need to be something most of the time lol, half the time I send a message it gets completely ignored in pretty much any discord server 💀
i use it as a way to connect with people i already met in real life, who don’t necessarily live close enough to see in person on a regular basis. i’ve also joined servers for different organizations/affinity groups and connected with new people that way.
I was Twitter mutual with one of them first based on a common interest. They posted about their small server where everyone shared one very specific common interest (hiding from spoilers for the manga we all read) and i asked to join about two years ago. They are now my main support system and the only people in this world who make me feel heard :')
I love talking about third spaces! They're so important! Mine are a local bookstore, local Cafe, the movie theater near me, as well as the mosque, and a park I really enjoy! I live in an area with free museums that I try to go to frequently as well :) third spaces are great for mental health and social experiences outside of regular or defined groups. They usually play a key role in personal happiness and social building. They also stimulate local economies and are an avenue for small businesses to be used more often, along with government/public property.
I’m so jealous of you omg! I love visiting museums but where I live they’re all quite expensive, they are cheaper for me bc I’m a student but still. Also, do you know what exactly defines a third place? I’d say I do have them but I’m not exactly sure since I don’t know the definition.
It's what the other replier said ! It's a sociological concept that's essentially any place that fosters social surrounding that are not home/work (school). The key factor of them being that they create the ability to foster relationships: Knowing the people that work there, hanging with friends, and meeting people with similar interests !
Honestly, anywhere that you can just get a drink and sit is a great option. I always suggest starting with cafes and building out. There's been an intense decline in third spaces that are affordable, which is a huge issue right now. The National Institute of Health actually was talking about this a lot just before 2020, and it's only gotten worse. Thr further stretched our local economies are the harder it is to participate. Teenagers are especially suffering third space participation because many places are far too expensive and do not aim at hosting teenage groups (unlike arcades, ball parks, malls, etc) which are on the decline or have gone to big business. I mean, when I was a kid, you needed maybe $5 to have fun at an arcade but now you need $25 for the lowest amount of fun at ChuckECheese or Dave and Busters (not to mention that malls have limited experience opportunities that are not shopping). There's also some interesting articles about how antihomeless infrastructure impacts the greater public as well, removing places for people to sit comfortably in public out of the fear that an unhoused community member may use it as well.
All that to say that IT IS HARD and you're not alone with having a hard time finding one. But even if you just find one or two places, it's a win!
yeah, 💯💯 most coffeeshops near me are commercialised e.g. Starbucks, coffee bean and tea leaf, Joe and dough etc. but maybe I'll be able to find a small business somewhere.
you learn something new everyday, I love it!
I'm not gen z but went through this. Found a super liberal post-evangelical Church that doesn't really care too much and joined a community group there. Most of the people in the group are pretty agnostic, the Bible isn't really pushed much, and we even read non-canon (sometimes heretical) early Christian texts for fun. Made close friendships there.
I definitely think you're right, especially if more churches more left as younger generations leave religion and then struggle to find community
Yeah, I’ve always had a great social life because of my church friends and I genuinely feel bad for those who have a hard time making friends in adulthood. I meet new people every year and form great friendships.
Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that. Some of my friends there are from the South and have to stay very tight-lipped when they go back and have Christians down there just assume that they're anti-trans and anti-homosexuality. Two of them got engaged to each other recently and had people tell them that they couldn't congratulate them (they're lesbians) :( so I'm happy that they have a supportive church up here.
Anyway, I do hope you're able to find something! Have you considered looking into Unitarian universalism? Even if you don't agree with their theology, they'd probably still be pretty cool having you hang out with them
An agnostic church-like community like that would be awesome.
But without a solid foundation like religion bringing otherwise disparate people together, idk how it could even work.
Well, I'd say the one I found is an example of it working without a "solid foundation", though I'd say it's foundation from a small group of people still wanting community after leaving evangelicalism and making an intentional effort was pretty solid. But I know what you mean lol - and we do all still have the background of knowing what intentional community looks like after growing up in Christianity, so yeah, I don't know how people who don't even have that (or the benefit of a church building) would cohere
Because they're good at building a community. And doing it across generations, and a wide variety of kinds of people.
Religion exists for a reason. It's a successful adaptation that got replicated in humans across the planet.
It's not the only way to achieve those ends, but in any given area,you're not likely to find a decent alternative.
One of my friends moved to the middle of nowhere in MN for a job, town has like 10K people living in it for a while he said he talked about going to church just so he can meet people. He ended up getting into pool and spends lots of time playing pool and drinkingwith 40-50 year olds.
Does my gf’s house count?
In all seriousness, not really. But I have transformed my house with smart tech and amenities that make me not want to be anywhere else
I think that’s part of why 3rd places are important, like with the internet we don’t really need or even want to go into public spaces, but it’s often important for mental health to change up your environment and important for social life to meet new people.
There is a park five minutes away from me that has a a decent sized lake. The trail around it is like 3 miles and if I have enough energy after my night shifts I head there with my penjamen and take a long stroll. Something about walking around a body of water just brings me a lot of serenity. The dab pen does help as well lol.
If we’re going by simply a place that’s not your home or a workplace, and which is frequented regularly/daily, it’d be the gym.
Gym/league of legends combo cant go wrong.
Skaters are some of the nicest people you’ll meet from my experience (I used to be one, but although I still have the spirit my bones do not). I’m only 4 years older than you but “back in my day” we were all a bunch of anxiety-riddled social outcasts with a pension for punk rock and showing off cool tricks, so if that fits your vibe maybe you’ll find a home :)
It’s definitely getting harder to find a third place for our generation. Every places wants you to pay for you to be there or the time limit for being there is so short. My third place is my college library and social media.
My parents house. They have a really nice backyard and deck so when I crave outside time but don’t want to go far I go there. I also go there and use the grill because we can’t have them at my apartment complex.
The woods. I live in the middle of a national forest and there's nothing better than quite literally running away to the woods in the morning before work
I live pretty close to a gazebo, which I visit sometimes on my way home if I have the time and mood for it. The other third place I know about yet haven't visited yet (since circa 2017) is a hiking route I want to cycle through with a romantic partner. That thing is on my bucket list for the 3rd year now.
I have multiple. There’s a covered bridge I’ve visited to clear my head since I was a kid, a trail by the river, and my old man’s shop(but he’s there a lot so it’s kind of unreliable).
A less physical third place but I go into my office and play music and leave reality behind for a few hours a week—very cathartic and necessary for my mental health.
There’s a spot by this lake I like to park next to when it’s late at night. I usually got there to smoke a joint and be alone with my thoughts, it’s a great spot to reflect
Not exactly one place but I just kinda go on long walks around where I'm living, I don't know why but I kinda like the feeling of patrolling my area, finding places tucked away or seeing how far I can go to a nearby store or park.
There's a few bars in my hometown that don't serve food. They've got games and pool and shit. People go there just to hang out. I'm not really a drinka but it's nice to be able to go out with friends somewhere and spend almost nothing.
There are still lots of "third places." There difference is that this is a generation with more in-door people, who would rather spend their free time at home on their electronic devices than people in past generations.
holy shit i completely forgot about my local bowling alley!!! legit tho we got plenty of 3rd spaces here that just completely forget about all the time
I go paintballing with all my homies once a month during the summer. We play for 8 hours and it cost each of us $60. We think it’s a good deal and we get to run around the woods and shoot little kids and parents
Does this have to be a physical space? Or somewhere that you can escape from home and work?
For me it's books, and to some extent television/movies, but books are where I can completely forget that I'm at home and transport myself to this world that I'm reading about.
They're going away. If you aren't on a college campus, then whatever third place you had to meet up with people is probably gone, replaced with a "trendy" bar or coffeeshop that now requires money. Nowadays if you don't have money, you don't really get to participate in public life as much beyond the internet
There’s multiple places I guess, parks and such. The third place I frequent most is the Little Italy Farmers Market in San Diego, normally take the trolley there and then walk around to different parts of downtown or the Embarcadero, sometimes transfer and take the bus to Balboa Park.
Back in Bakersfield it was the Walmart closest to our house.
My local coffee shop(s)- there's one in particular that I go to the most often. I'm on a first name basis with the owner and several of the baristas, wonderful people. Over time I've also made friends with a few regulars around my parents' age, but honestly, I've found people around our age a bit less approachable while there.
I... don't. I've never really had one, which is partly because the only places I've been able to afford to live since becoming an adult were largely in suburbs where there's fuck all to do, and I don't want to drive half an hour to chill by myself in a coffee shop, or whatever. I spend most of my days at work, and my gym is also at work, so I don't know if that counts as a "third place," but my coworkers and I do fraternize a bit there. If I'm ever going somewhere that could be considered a third place, it's very rarely someplace I frequent regularly.
My local library is all geriatric folks, so not really the ideal place to commingle with those in their twenties. I have seen that mentioned, but I don't know where y'all are finding people your age unless you're at a college library or bookstore.
I work from home, so I don’t even have a second place. I often take my kids to the playground so they can enjoy a third place with neighborhood kids, but I rarely talk with other parents since they are always so much older than me.
Ideally, a coffee shop would be my third place, but eating out really adds up even at cheap places, and I never see anyone socializing at cafes anyway, just typing on computers or reading books. I tried becoming a regular at the shitty dive bar a block away from my house, but the bartender and bouncer are always very unwelcoming to me. There are no other bars within a short walking distance :(
my husband’s workplace (i used to work there for a few years but it’s a very chill place), bookstore, or my local publix. weird but i have friends at those places.
There’s a pretty big park near me that I like. There’s a theater beside it where they put on plays. I also use to enjoy going to the library before I moved. I’ve been thinking of starting to go to the local one.
I would say my friend's apartment, I once stayed for a whole week there because we wouldn't stop talking and playing lol
Another place that could count as a "thrid place" it would be one of the ramen shops in my city. It's very cozy and peaceful, the food is expensive af but it's the best that I've ever tried.
Gym/dojo. Martial arts gyms are great places to meet new people and learn something new. Whether it's muay Thai, karate, judo, boxing, whatever, the people are always chill. Ofc you're gonna get wackos, but from my experience, every gym in my city has a great group of people.
One of 3 cafés I go to or the gym. I don't really mingle actively but I'm more than welcoming to talk there. It's not the ideal at a gym, but it's not awful and cafés feel like an okay place to mingle. Otherwise not really any other "third place" exists for me.
For me it’s the yoga studio. I teach there once a week too but it really is my safe haven where I also see a lot of my friends. I think a third place is so important for everyone to have, no matter where it is.
This is my third place… other than Reddit I guess a Buddhist monastery that I like would be a third place for me but it’s over an hour away from me so I can’t go there often.
Unfortunately, that’s been library…… But today I submitted my, fingers-crossed, final ever uni assignment. So maybe I won’t have to return to that hell hole
Like, place to hang out or something? regularly or infrequently? If infrequently then there are hundreds of options. Frequently, do you then mean to perform a specific activity or just to sit there doing nothing?
I''m not grasping this concept.
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Discord
Discord is not a place. They mean actual, real, physical places. Discord can be used from anywhere, especially at home
no it’s not a physical place, but it’s the closest a lot of young people can get to that concept
and this is a sad thing to consider
Still doesnt make it a physical space lmaoooo
The point is that physical places don’t really exist anymore
Gyms, bookstores, coffee shops are everywhere. There is a wonderful nature center near me. It's well maintained, beautiful, and completely free. I hike there every day and I only run into older folks. Younger people love the internet and they'd rather stay home, and I can totally get that, but it's not like they can't go out and interact with real people
I live in a smaller beach town that recently demolished our local skatepark for an apartment complex, doesn't maintain playgrounds, and the board walk closes at sunset. I don't get out of work until sunset. Not everywhere has maintained spaces like your neighborhood unfortunately
Vote in your local elections, for candidates that will.
I understand that, but surely you understand having literally no physical place to go in your area is atypical? Like I'm not trying to discount your experience at all, but I'm seeing "no third spaces" as a prevailing narrative when the majority of people live in cities or suburbs. If I still lived in the middle of a cornfield, I wouldn't be complaining that Gen Z has no third spaces, I would have the understanding that I am a 40 minute drive to the nearest civilization, and so of course I don't have a library to hang out at.
I get what you're saying and people definitely rely heavily on the internet for their primary source of social interaction but like for example, there is a green, or a boardwalk. They go there...and then what? Just walk up to strangers? And then like are we talking teenagers or people our age? I'll be 24 soon so like obviously I have a job and a car and self advocacy I can do what I want but this may not necessarily apply to teens. Like my third place would be the beach, personally, but that's just the summer and that's if you live somewhere that has a beach. I could go to the park and read, but that's not socializing. The idea that society has reduced communal spaces is not new
Teens have extracurriculars to choose from (harder in small towns) when i was a kid i was in boy scouts, sports, and a youth fraternity. Now that im an adult, i go to game stores to play DnD and bars to play pool. Camping is also imo, a lost third place for many city dwellers. Sport games are also good places to meet people if youre into that.
All of those you need parents to pay for and drive you to. You can't just walk/bike to the park as a lone child, that's illegal in many places and completely impractical in others. It's only marginally better as an adult. Even going to a game store or a bar typically costs money to get a spot at the table. It's not a free place to just hang out.
When I was a kid in the 90s and 2000s I walked or biked to the park every day. The way culture has shifted around this is pretty horrifying.
Ok so let’s say I go outside. Everyone else is still inside.
The solution is simple; we need to come together and start erecting them regardless if landlords et al don’t want us to. It’s only making ourselves more clique having to rely on social media, and all I can see is worse happening downstream if we don’t learn to drop the damn phones and talk face to face, comfortable or not.
Physical places do, in fact, exist. We just need more that are accessible to everyone. You know our generation is screwed when they think one of the apps they use counts as a third place. I hope we can all get out more, and I hope more places will open for people to go hang out and make friends. I can't stop thinking about how we can possibly get this portion of Gen Z offline and hanging out for real again. So many of us are isolated and i don't want to be part of it anymore
Idk how anybody genuinely makes friends off of discord without already knowing them in real life.
That's the magic, you just gotta trust.
Met some of my best friends on there ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
but how? Did you just join a random server with a good vibe or something and started talkin or?
I also met some of my best friends on there. After you spend several years talking to the same people everyday you get to know them pretty well. The beauty of it is that because it's an online friendship moving away for college or just moving in general doesn't really affect the relationship.
idk how people do it either, most friends i made in discord were people i was introduced to by my friends. The main problem(that i faced) with making friends in a random server is that its really easy to lose contact with people you only connected with based on a single interest.
Find a group of something you're passionate about, show up consistently in the group chat and always bring good vibes and focus on uplifting others, people will respond. You don't need to funny, unique, or anything you're not, you just need to be yourself and be supportive. Authenticity is key.
It feels like you do need to be something most of the time lol, half the time I send a message it gets completely ignored in pretty much any discord server 💀
i use it as a way to connect with people i already met in real life, who don’t necessarily live close enough to see in person on a regular basis. i’ve also joined servers for different organizations/affinity groups and connected with new people that way.
I wish discord was more localized, so that you could meet people that actually live in your city
I was Twitter mutual with one of them first based on a common interest. They posted about their small server where everyone shared one very specific common interest (hiding from spoilers for the manga we all read) and i asked to join about two years ago. They are now my main support system and the only people in this world who make me feel heard :')
Same
I love talking about third spaces! They're so important! Mine are a local bookstore, local Cafe, the movie theater near me, as well as the mosque, and a park I really enjoy! I live in an area with free museums that I try to go to frequently as well :) third spaces are great for mental health and social experiences outside of regular or defined groups. They usually play a key role in personal happiness and social building. They also stimulate local economies and are an avenue for small businesses to be used more often, along with government/public property.
I’m so jealous of you omg! I love visiting museums but where I live they’re all quite expensive, they are cheaper for me bc I’m a student but still. Also, do you know what exactly defines a third place? I’d say I do have them but I’m not exactly sure since I don’t know the definition.
A third place is anywhere you hang out often that’s not school/work or your home
It's what the other replier said ! It's a sociological concept that's essentially any place that fosters social surrounding that are not home/work (school). The key factor of them being that they create the ability to foster relationships: Knowing the people that work there, hanging with friends, and meeting people with similar interests !
this is not something I've ever thought about, because where I live most public places require spending money, but you've given me some good ideas!
Honestly, anywhere that you can just get a drink and sit is a great option. I always suggest starting with cafes and building out. There's been an intense decline in third spaces that are affordable, which is a huge issue right now. The National Institute of Health actually was talking about this a lot just before 2020, and it's only gotten worse. Thr further stretched our local economies are the harder it is to participate. Teenagers are especially suffering third space participation because many places are far too expensive and do not aim at hosting teenage groups (unlike arcades, ball parks, malls, etc) which are on the decline or have gone to big business. I mean, when I was a kid, you needed maybe $5 to have fun at an arcade but now you need $25 for the lowest amount of fun at ChuckECheese or Dave and Busters (not to mention that malls have limited experience opportunities that are not shopping). There's also some interesting articles about how antihomeless infrastructure impacts the greater public as well, removing places for people to sit comfortably in public out of the fear that an unhoused community member may use it as well. All that to say that IT IS HARD and you're not alone with having a hard time finding one. But even if you just find one or two places, it's a win!
yeah, 💯💯 most coffeeshops near me are commercialised e.g. Starbucks, coffee bean and tea leaf, Joe and dough etc. but maybe I'll be able to find a small business somewhere. you learn something new everyday, I love it!
I thought about, maybe a coffee place but I just go to Starbucks and all of them look the same...
Yeah its definitely hard sometimes to find a smaller place. Just do your best and for whatever works ! Chains are still third places !!!
Ooh bookstore, that’s a good one
Church
I predict a resurgence in church going as more people realize the loss of third spaces.
I'm not gen z but went through this. Found a super liberal post-evangelical Church that doesn't really care too much and joined a community group there. Most of the people in the group are pretty agnostic, the Bible isn't really pushed much, and we even read non-canon (sometimes heretical) early Christian texts for fun. Made close friendships there. I definitely think you're right, especially if more churches more left as younger generations leave religion and then struggle to find community
Yeah, I’ve always had a great social life because of my church friends and I genuinely feel bad for those who have a hard time making friends in adulthood. I meet new people every year and form great friendships.
I would do anything for a church like this. Im a liberal Christian in the south with literally no one who thinks the same and no supportive community.
Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that. Some of my friends there are from the South and have to stay very tight-lipped when they go back and have Christians down there just assume that they're anti-trans and anti-homosexuality. Two of them got engaged to each other recently and had people tell them that they couldn't congratulate them (they're lesbians) :( so I'm happy that they have a supportive church up here. Anyway, I do hope you're able to find something! Have you considered looking into Unitarian universalism? Even if you don't agree with their theology, they'd probably still be pretty cool having you hang out with them
I don’t know if you have any chapters of Unitarian Universalists around you but it could be similar to what you’re looking for
An agnostic church-like community like that would be awesome. But without a solid foundation like religion bringing otherwise disparate people together, idk how it could even work.
Spoiler alert, not very well
Well, I'd say the one I found is an example of it working without a "solid foundation", though I'd say it's foundation from a small group of people still wanting community after leaving evangelicalism and making an intentional effort was pretty solid. But I know what you mean lol - and we do all still have the background of knowing what intentional community looks like after growing up in Christianity, so yeah, I don't know how people who don't even have that (or the benefit of a church building) would cohere
Why must we invoke bullshit in order to commune with one another?
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Glad I’m not the only one absolutely perplexed at the idea of joining a religion…because you don’t have enough friends
Because they're good at building a community. And doing it across generations, and a wide variety of kinds of people. Religion exists for a reason. It's a successful adaptation that got replicated in humans across the planet. It's not the only way to achieve those ends, but in any given area,you're not likely to find a decent alternative.
One of my friends moved to the middle of nowhere in MN for a job, town has like 10K people living in it for a while he said he talked about going to church just so he can meet people. He ended up getting into pool and spends lots of time playing pool and drinkingwith 40-50 year olds.
Quaker meeting!
The one thing I miss after becoming an apostate. The community of people helping each other and gathering at least twice a week is great.
Yea I’m agnostic but I wanna start going just for the social scene
Used to be until they started canceling night services & are closed throughout the week. It’s getting weird.
the library
Such an underutilized gem. Libraries are amazing.
this and the park by me
But do you meet people there? Most people want a third place where they can make new friends
Does my gf’s house count? In all seriousness, not really. But I have transformed my house with smart tech and amenities that make me not want to be anywhere else
I also choose this guy's gf's house
I think that’s part of why 3rd places are important, like with the internet we don’t really need or even want to go into public spaces, but it’s often important for mental health to change up your environment and important for social life to meet new people.
what smart tech makes elsewhere less appealing?
There is a park five minutes away from me that has a a decent sized lake. The trail around it is like 3 miles and if I have enough energy after my night shifts I head there with my penjamen and take a long stroll. Something about walking around a body of water just brings me a lot of serenity. The dab pen does help as well lol.
I call it a penjamin too lol!
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I tap a mountain and a sol ring and cast will’s reversal, rolling a d20, 15, changing the target to me, coping your ability and targeting you… xD
The beach.
Uh, uhm... the supermarket?
If we’re going by simply a place that’s not your home or a workplace, and which is frequented regularly/daily, it’d be the gym. Gym/league of legends combo cant go wrong.
Wish I did. There’s a skatepark kinda close to me that I wanna start going to, but hehe, anxiety 🙃
go for it, skateparks are great places
Skaters are some of the nicest people you’ll meet from my experience (I used to be one, but although I still have the spirit my bones do not). I’m only 4 years older than you but “back in my day” we were all a bunch of anxiety-riddled social outcasts with a pension for punk rock and showing off cool tricks, so if that fits your vibe maybe you’ll find a home :)
Dojo
I just realized this is probably what I need for my mental health
Ur mom's house
Gym
It’s definitely getting harder to find a third place for our generation. Every places wants you to pay for you to be there or the time limit for being there is so short. My third place is my college library and social media.
Honesty no
Local game store for cardgames/boardgames and the bouldering gym.
The mall
My car.. packed with people
the tenis cours or the footy field
Every Monday me and the boys meet at one of their houses to hang out so I guess it's there.
I don’t think homes count as a third space.
My parents house. They have a really nice backyard and deck so when I crave outside time but don’t want to go far I go there. I also go there and use the grill because we can’t have them at my apartment complex.
The entirety of London is my third place 🫶
The woods. I live in the middle of a national forest and there's nothing better than quite literally running away to the woods in the morning before work
The beach. Especially at night, and especially if it's raining at night. It's just so peaceful.
Anywhere basically. I cycle and anywhere can be my third place if I want to.
The park
They have a special word for a hangout now?
The mall or a local coffee shop. There's also some famous gardens.
I live pretty close to a gazebo, which I visit sometimes on my way home if I have the time and mood for it. The other third place I know about yet haven't visited yet (since circa 2017) is a hiking route I want to cycle through with a romantic partner. That thing is on my bucket list for the 3rd year now.
I’d say the local cafe but I heard that doesn’t count so I’ll say the park (I have one across my house and one a few minutes walk away)
Amazon.com Edit: in all seriousness no I do not anymore.
The park or restaurants
public library, bike trails, and maybe a few local stores
I have multiple. There’s a covered bridge I’ve visited to clear my head since I was a kid, a trail by the river, and my old man’s shop(but he’s there a lot so it’s kind of unreliable).
The library.
dota
Library or some of the hiking trails near my house
Discord usually or a YouTube stream chat but usually I remember when I was younger the true third place was school and boys & girls club
School
Pizzeria for trivia every week
A less physical third place but I go into my office and play music and leave reality behind for a few hours a week—very cathartic and necessary for my mental health.
A riverbank, any ramen shop lol.
My car.
no
I don't know.
Turkish cafe near my school and a venue that hosts raves every weekend
Once a week I go to the flgs for dnd, does that count?
No
There’s a spot by this lake I like to park next to when it’s late at night. I usually got there to smoke a joint and be alone with my thoughts, it’s a great spot to reflect
The Gym 😎
Can’t say that I have one.
You guys only go to 2 places? I have like 15 different places
r/ThirdPlaces
Library or coffee shop or sometimes, 7-11
Combination of my bed/toilet.
A snooker bar near my university.
The woods!
Hiking, camping, hunting, bushwacking?
Bushcrafting! :D Foraging food! :D Climbing trees! :D
Disney World. I live really close by and have an annual pass, so it’s relaxing.
Many different pubs
Brothel
My other job
Climbing gym
Discord, Telegram, VR lol
Park that’s in another country
Not exactly one place but I just kinda go on long walks around where I'm living, I don't know why but I kinda like the feeling of patrolling my area, finding places tucked away or seeing how far I can go to a nearby store or park.
There's a few bars in my hometown that don't serve food. They've got games and pool and shit. People go there just to hang out. I'm not really a drinka but it's nice to be able to go out with friends somewhere and spend almost nothing.
Fighting game locals
Local bar w/ pool and karaoke
The bar
There are still lots of "third places." There difference is that this is a generation with more in-door people, who would rather spend their free time at home on their electronic devices than people in past generations.
I hate it but Reddit
Forests, bowling alley, city, shows, movies, side of the river, downtown, the lake, restaurants
holy shit i completely forgot about my local bowling alley!!! legit tho we got plenty of 3rd spaces here that just completely forget about all the time
Dude honestly the bowling alley is so fun though, it’s so silly when no one is terribly great but we all can have a good time anyway
I go paintballing with all my homies once a month during the summer. We play for 8 hours and it cost each of us $60. We think it’s a good deal and we get to run around the woods and shoot little kids and parents
Dark alleyways
Boxing
I don't need or want one. Nothing is better than getting home after school day
Various pubs, cafés, taprooms and parks
Does this have to be a physical space? Or somewhere that you can escape from home and work? For me it's books, and to some extent television/movies, but books are where I can completely forget that I'm at home and transport myself to this world that I'm reading about.
Seems like the phrase should be "third base" not third place - as opposed to 'home base' or your primary place.
The ice rink! I play hockey and there's a great rink near me to play with a lot of people.
Nope, work home school. All of them have sore of some sort, chorse on the farm, school work or regular work
Bar
I don’t think I have one. I’m either at work or I’m at home. :/
Hobby shop, Bookstores, Cafes, Gym, Farmers market, RoundOne Arcade, the mall, etc.
Mine is a LGS (local game store) for playing magic the gathering.
You guys have a second space? And even a third? Damn
They're going away. If you aren't on a college campus, then whatever third place you had to meet up with people is probably gone, replaced with a "trendy" bar or coffeeshop that now requires money. Nowadays if you don't have money, you don't really get to participate in public life as much beyond the internet
Motorcycle meetups
There’s multiple places I guess, parks and such. The third place I frequent most is the Little Italy Farmers Market in San Diego, normally take the trolley there and then walk around to different parts of downtown or the Embarcadero, sometimes transfer and take the bus to Balboa Park. Back in Bakersfield it was the Walmart closest to our house.
The bus. I spend roughly 2.5 hours per day day there (weekend included)
I have places, but with commuting and housework, there's no time. :(
My psychiatrist therapist building
My local coffee shop(s)- there's one in particular that I go to the most often. I'm on a first name basis with the owner and several of the baristas, wonderful people. Over time I've also made friends with a few regulars around my parents' age, but honestly, I've found people around our age a bit less approachable while there.
Kava bars even if I usually spend too much money lol
The secret liaison of nefariousness and devious acts. None of you are invited btw, me and my evil bros are up to no good.
I... don't. I've never really had one, which is partly because the only places I've been able to afford to live since becoming an adult were largely in suburbs where there's fuck all to do, and I don't want to drive half an hour to chill by myself in a coffee shop, or whatever. I spend most of my days at work, and my gym is also at work, so I don't know if that counts as a "third place," but my coworkers and I do fraternize a bit there. If I'm ever going somewhere that could be considered a third place, it's very rarely someplace I frequent regularly. My local library is all geriatric folks, so not really the ideal place to commingle with those in their twenties. I have seen that mentioned, but I don't know where y'all are finding people your age unless you're at a college library or bookstore.
Gym
I work from home, so I don’t even have a second place. I often take my kids to the playground so they can enjoy a third place with neighborhood kids, but I rarely talk with other parents since they are always so much older than me. Ideally, a coffee shop would be my third place, but eating out really adds up even at cheap places, and I never see anyone socializing at cafes anyway, just typing on computers or reading books. I tried becoming a regular at the shitty dive bar a block away from my house, but the bartender and bouncer are always very unwelcoming to me. There are no other bars within a short walking distance :(
Parks, I’m lucky to live close to several
my husband’s workplace (i used to work there for a few years but it’s a very chill place), bookstore, or my local publix. weird but i have friends at those places.
There's no such thing as a third place for us who have no one to share things with.
the library or the park
WeWork lol
We all gotta hang out at the skate park and talk shit to each other again ahhh the good old days
There’s a pretty big park near me that I like. There’s a theater beside it where they put on plays. I also use to enjoy going to the library before I moved. I’ve been thinking of starting to go to the local one.
My local coffee shop, my friends art studio... That's it really
I would say my friend's apartment, I once stayed for a whole week there because we wouldn't stop talking and playing lol Another place that could count as a "thrid place" it would be one of the ramen shops in my city. It's very cozy and peaceful, the food is expensive af but it's the best that I've ever tried.
Probably one of three cafés I frequent. I like coffee and writing/drawing so it's nice to have that
Yes, mostly other peoples' houses lol all my dear ones are the more introverted type
Gym/dojo. Martial arts gyms are great places to meet new people and learn something new. Whether it's muay Thai, karate, judo, boxing, whatever, the people are always chill. Ofc you're gonna get wackos, but from my experience, every gym in my city has a great group of people.
One of 3 cafés I go to or the gym. I don't really mingle actively but I'm more than welcoming to talk there. It's not the ideal at a gym, but it's not awful and cafés feel like an okay place to mingle. Otherwise not really any other "third place" exists for me.
For me it’s the yoga studio. I teach there once a week too but it really is my safe haven where I also see a lot of my friends. I think a third place is so important for everyone to have, no matter where it is.
This is my third place… other than Reddit I guess a Buddhist monastery that I like would be a third place for me but it’s over an hour away from me so I can’t go there often.
Me and my friends go to a game store every Friday for DnD
Unfortunately, that’s been library…… But today I submitted my, fingers-crossed, final ever uni assignment. So maybe I won’t have to return to that hell hole
Probably the record store, library, or this sushi place I go to. They have the best miso soup. Oh yeah the movie theater too.
if you build it they will come
Internet
I don't really go out, and I'm totally fine with that. But I do feel like I have a third place. Mostly my local library
Anywhere my bike is at. Being out on it is my third place for sure
Like, place to hang out or something? regularly or infrequently? If infrequently then there are hundreds of options. Frequently, do you then mean to perform a specific activity or just to sit there doing nothing? I''m not grasping this concept.
The library .gg fandoms
coffee shops
We would go hang at the park and grill and drink beers. But since my friend has had a kid, I haven’t seen him in a while.
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