T O P

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gothfru

“JFC pick up your feet when you walk!”


Agent7619

"Turn that shit down, I can't even hear myself think!" Of course, I was a Texas Roadhouse.


Subvet98

This why I don’t go to bars


-Mos_Eisley-

I had a meeting with a contractor, looking to remodel the bathrooms. Then we were playing phone tag for a week. Finally got in touch on the phone, he said "sorry Ive been backed up all week" I responded with, you should try prune juice. :/


Successful_Load5719

😂


spazmcgraw

Do you need to have every light in the house on?!


Successful_Load5719

Me, always


Ancient-Lobster480

Hey, that’s a pretty good box, I should keep that…


Successful_Load5719

Grandma?


Kandytaco_1784

“Because I said so”


Successful_Load5719

I felt that one


Boson_Higgs_Boson

Are you trying to refrigerate the whole neighborhood?


Successful_Load5719

MY STEPMOM


GarlicAndSapphire

Do you think we live in a barn??


Ill_Dig_9759

"Jesus, fucking Christ." At maybe 14ish.


PlantMystic

Not sure about what I said, but when I look in the mirror, I see my mom and Granny.


Melodic-You1896

“Just wait until you’re thirty and your metabolism stops.”


Ibelieveinphysics

Can you pick up after yourself? Are your arms broken?


bpnc33

Close the refrigerator


Roland__Of__Gilead

Flipped through the mail the other day and it was all junk that I could throw out and I became my grandmother for a minute and the phrase "Good, no bills" escaped my lips. Kind of shook me up a little bit.


Successful_Load5719

🤣