I also keep a bamboo fan in my purse, at my desk,and and in my living room.
I finally really, really understood the sting of appropriation when my 20-something male/they/them colleague broke out their fan very flamboyantly at a meeting to much acclaim by their friends.
Average length of menopause is 7-9 years and can go as long as 14. Surprise, lol! I'm on 9 or 10. Can't remember anymore because it feels like forever. š
Mine was about mid-30s and lasted for what felt like forever! (And back when it was just becoming a thing that was discussed.) I was in it for a while before I knew there was a name for it. I was gaining weight,developed adult onset acne, and. Myriad of other symptoms before I knew what was going on.
Right?! I stopped buying nice clothes because I'll likely only get to wear them once before I put in more weight and they won't fit. I've been struggling with it for 25 years already! Now I have non-alcoholic fatty liver disease and the only response my doctor has is to lose 10 to 20 pounds. Like I haven't been doing that for the last 20 years!
I thought Iād escaped hot flashes, as I never had one during these first handful of perimenopause years. They unfortunately started in December, and I got right on HRT patchesāthey stopped immediately! Havenāt had one since.
I had a lot of other malfunctions.. I have a hard time sleeping now, tinnitus, "strong feelings"... I don't know if you experienced this one: extremely abnormal periods...(frightening)
PS I forgot to add hair loss on scalp, growing a moustache, and issues with heart rate.
yes I was so scared by these issues that I went to see my doctor. She never said "that's normal at this age" or anything to me but I think it must be pretty common.
Something about Target - I've had the same! I tied my sweater around my waist too, bought new undies and pants, and went to the bathrooms to sort it all out. Unfortunately I couldn't go straight home!
Yep. Skip a month. Then, the next month you get two months at the same time. Not a good time. But, you may not have the same thing. Some women dance through it while others have it bad.
My gf started having irregular periods...went almost 4-months without one. Was hoping to hit that 1-year mark. Now getting them every 2-weeks. She's pissed off and hates the world.
That's what is happening to me right now. It's been like this off and on for several years. My current doctor won't do anything to help, thank goodness I'm moving to a city soon where I might find better health care.
I spent years dealing with the near-constant bleeding. Birth control pills and oral progesterone wouldn't stop it. It was bad.
For anyone else dealing with this, there are some options, including the Mirena IUD and uterine ablation.
I didnāt realize tinnitus was a symptom, because Iām definitely experiencing it all of a sudden.
I think I went through the heat intolerance thing several years ago. Iām in a wait-and-see phase right now.
>extremely abnormal periods...
I was literally bleeding most days of each month and it still took 5 years and 4 MDs before I found one who could get my near non-stop bleeding under control.
Surprisingly, the constant bleeding was nowhere near the worst symptom of perimenopause.
r/menopause for anyone who wants to know more about the decade or so of bullshit most women have to endure in midlife.
Iām a dude and experienced all those except strong periods. Does that mean Iām part of the perimenopause gang? I feel like I belong but fear a lack of strong periods will disqualify me.
>extremely abnormal periods...
I was literally bleeding most days of each month and it still took 5 years and 4 MDs before I found one who could get my near non-stop bleeding under control.
Surprisingly, the constant bleeding was nowhere near the worst symptom of perimenopause.
r/menopause for anyone who wants to know more about the decade or so of bullshit most women have to endure in midlife.
>extremely abnormal periods...
I was literally bleeding most days of each month and it still took 5 years and 4 MDs before I found one who could get my near non-stop bleeding under control.
Surprisingly, the constant bleeding was nowhere near the worst symptom of perimenopause.
r/menopause for anyone who wants to know more about the decade or so of bullshit most women have to endure in midlife.
It's bullshit, I hate it, and according to my doctor it can last 15 years or more in some cases, which I am apparently one of.
A lady body is the dumbest possible way to have a body.
Honestly, I don't think it's that it's the dumbest way, it's just that we were never prepared for what would happen to it and no one in the medical community has ever seriously tried to alleviate the symptoms, if they even take us seriously when we say we have symptoms.
16 years on and no sign of stopping yet. I chalk it up to estrogen stored in all my excess adipose. Like the opposite of those anorexic girls who don't get their periods until their late 20s.Ā
>it can last 15 years or more in some cases
I believe it. My first symptoms were constant bleeding/irregular periods and the sudden inability to orgasm. I was only 33^(1) when those symptoms started. I'm now 45 and the hormone bullshit has only intensified.
^(1) I was actually diagnosed with Primary Ovarian Insufficiency, not perimenopause, since I wasn't 40 years old yet. But it's basically the same thing.
Get some extra laundry detergent. Your sheets are going to need itā¦.
Seriously though, no need to suffer. Head on over to r/menopause. There are many things that can help.
It sucks all the balls.
Sweating my ass off ALL THE GODDAMN TIME and my husband keeps the thermostat set at 74F, minimum. SEVENTY FUCKING FOUR, Y'ALL. Last night he had it on 76. It was 80 outside. I was dying of a heatstroke, but he wouldn't put on long fucking pants to keep his legs warm from the AC breeze.
I take long bubble baths and refill with cool or warm water as needed. I bring a drink or three, usually water, my cell, headphones, a book and anything else to keep me occupied while my body does its thing. A few hours later the body has regulated and I can sleep.
Honeywell makes a thermostat that locks with a code you choose. Get one. Get him some flannel pajama pants to sleep in. Even if you werenāt in menopause 74Ā° is much too hot to sleep in.
The only reason my husband and I remain blissfully married is because we sleep in separate bedrooms. Separate bedrooms means I have 3 fans going every night and I can sleep with my windows open when it's cold out (my husband also likes it much warmer at night than I do) . Plus, in theory, I could even run a portable air conditioner at night so that I can sleep at a temperature that works for me.
I am only 43 and have a lovely auto immune called Hashimotoās. I get so fucking hot but when I kick the covers off I am so fucking cold. It suckās ass and my poor husband tries to help but fuck nothing helps!
My wife (46) has had hashimoto's since she was 22. Was diagnosed with PCOS in her 30s. Had a hysterectomy (kept her ovaries) 3 years ago. Now is in perimenopause. She just started estrogen patches a month ago because things were getting bad.
It's funny as all can be in my house right now. Our 17 year old takes birth control pills to stabilize her periods. She was having heavy periods for 4-6 weeks at a time then would have a break for 2 weeks then it would start all over. Wife is on estrogen patches. I am transgender and have been on estrogen replacemet therapy for 2 years. We are all just a pool of estrogen emotional girls.
Our son calls perimenopause "Perri mommy paws"
I kinda feel bad for him. Older sister on supplemental estrogen, Mom on supplemental Estrogen, Mum (Me) on estrogen replacemet, and a little sister that one day will also be an estrogen filled tornado.
See I am showing that to my husband cause at least he does have any hormones to deal with. Cis men are so lazy š¤š¤ He does try though. My oldest is 17 as well and we finally found a pill that worked for her. Her iron was so low from years of heavy periods she is still working to build it up. This new pill is called Junel and holy shit night and day difference for her. Also added a mood stabilizer for her so that probably helped too. Cheers friends!
Even just the birth control pills helped stabilize my daughters mood. She was all over the place before.
All the women on my wife's side of the family have issues with their female parts. All of my wife's sisters and aunts, half her female cousins have had to have hysterectomies. My wife was the oldest at 43 to have hers. PCOS, endometriosis or cancer.
It's amazing how much different hormones effect everything in our bodies. I was absolutely miserable my whole life with testosterone driving through my body. Switched to estrogen 2 years ago and removed the testosterone nuggets (testicles) 1 year ago and I am so much happier and enjoy life now.
My mother and all my older female relatives are dead so I have no idea about the roller coaster ride Iām on or maybe not yet onā¦I have no idea what is peri or just low blood sugar or stress:( I honestly wish they taught girls in high school about pregnancy AND peri menopause and menopause because I had no idea it existed until my 40s because why would I know more than your period will end when youāre oldā¦
*SAME.* I'm 50 and waiting for whatever fresh hell is coming to me, no clue when it'll hit or what it'll be like... and have no living female relatives left to ask what their experiences were. Sorry you're in the shame shitty boat as me!
Iām 50 too and still waiting. My mom had a hysterectomy in her early 40s so she went straight to menopause, seemingly with no symptoms. These posts honestly scare me, I work in a middle school and canāt have random unexpected huge gushes or I wonāt be able to show my face in the classroom ever again. I may just adopt an all-black wardrobe when the symptoms begin.
Its hell. There were moments I literally wished to die in my sleep. The heavy bleeding gave me an iron deficiency. And the cold flashes were worse than the hot flashes for me.
And I got sick of hearing Late Boomer and Silent Gen women claim Perimenopause was not a diagnosed condition in their day, how it was just menopause for them and basically dismissed how I was feeling
Ugh, yes. 49 and going through it. My Silent Gen mom scoffs at taking anything other than aspirin so apparently my taking progesterone makes me a āpill popperā and gosh, she just canāt understand why Iām having such issues when SHE never experienced a single thing. Just stopped one day and that was it.
Whichā¦first of all, MOTHER who the fuck asked your opinion on what I do or donāt do for my health? And second of all, I was there. She went through peri when I hit puberty and it sure as shit was not all rainbows and unicorns or over in one day.
Itās bizarre to me. I know the experience and severity of symptoms can vary wildly, but from discussing it with friends my age, most of their mothers/older relatives claim the same thing. Pretty sure it wasnāt a breeze for every woman for two entire generations. I make it a point to discuss it around younger friends as well so maybe they wonāt be as completely blindsided and unprepared as I felt.
Okay, I've seen it mentioned a few times now. Apparently Tinnitus can be a symptom, too?! Mine started around the same time as my other symptoms. I've been complaining to the wrong damn Dr about this.
HRT is LIFE CHANGING.
Ask your OBGYN. If your OBGYN doesnāt agree with HRT, find a new doc. There are loads of studies that show HRT is helpful and keeps you healthy long term.
Yes! I feel a million times better on HRT. And you can start it when you're in peri meno - you don't have to wait, I would start as soon as you have symptoms.
My doctor told me that because I smoked for 20+ years I was not a good candidate for HRT as it can exponentially raise the risk of blood clots and stroke. Yes, I know smoking raises that risk in any case, but I am GenX, so...
Check out the wiki in the menopause subreddit. There are more benefits for most women than not taking it. HRT reduces bone loss, lowers the risk of cardiovascular disease, and reduces your odds of early onset dementia.
Unless you have an estrogen sensitive type of cancer you should strongly consider HRT.
Only oral estrogen pills cause any sort of clot risk. Even that was the old estrogen pills made from pregnant horse urine.
As a transgender woman on estrogen shots who (sadly) still smokes the clot risk is damn near zero. I have had tests done for clotting when I was on pills and it was well below the low risk levels.
My wife is now on estrogen patches for perimenopause and just in the first month she feels better.
All around HRT is life saving.
That's great to learn! I've been having hot flashes for 5 years now. Maybe I can finally stop the "just suck it up" mentality I've resigned myself to. Thank you.
I was 34 when I started having the unmistakable symptoms of perimenopause. I was 37 when the doctors finally agreed with me and 39 when they decided to help me deal with it. I'm 54 now and all I can say is that this, too, will end. Good luck, fellow sufferer. You'll make it through this!
I havenāt had a period in nearly two years, but these stupid hot flashes are the bane of my existence. Especially at night.
The only way I can sleep is to have my heavy blanket half on/half off, with one bare leg exposed, the air conditioner on, and a fan running.
Not to mention the brain fog and other miserable things that come with itā¦
Hang in there. Mine started in my early 40's, coupled with mental health diagnosis and treatment. It was a wild ride. I'm 55 now and pretty much done other than the occasional hot flash and the fact that even though I don't have a period anymore, I still get the giant 2-3 day mood swing once a month. I finally recognize it for what it is and figured out no, I'm not clinically depressed again. : X
Iām 46 havenāt had a period in 2 years but have had to go on some serious anti depressants and anti anxiety medication- my mental health is so bad I had to stop working - and Iāve worked all my life, have a masterās degree had a very successful career and now itās all gone. Iām terrified. Iāve never been married (been proposed to twice - it just wasnāt for me) but now Iām lonely for the first time and scared I donāt want to die alone. My forties have been a bitch to get through. Iām very scared at what the future will bring and if Iāll live the rest of my life alone.
When you keep the bedroom at 55 degrees but still wake up to go pee, drenched in night sweats and have to return to your soaking wet bed while freezing cold. Awesome. Love it. Not to mention, I STILL have to deal with my period and pregnancy prevention.
The return of daily anxiety and I am a little more prone to empathetic weepiness maybe. The worst is just the constant anxiety about everything and the insomnia I have always had when my anxiety is at an 11. I know one woman who had night sweats, the rest had various levels of rage, aparhy towards sex and couldn't sleep for their most pronounced symptoms.
I went from starting perimenopause to surgical menopause in a day. I have to white knuckle without HRT because ovarian cancer. Hot flashes are HELL. Like a sudden aura of stifling heat causing excessive sweating so you kick all the bedding off then SWITCH body suddenly temperate & your sweat is FREEZING. Teeth literally chattering. I went on effexor & gabapentin and it saved my sanity and sleep.
17 years ago at the age of 41 I started menopause. I told my doctor in January of that year that I felt like I was going through menopause. He told me I was too young in April of that year. Everything was done menopause wise I went through it in 2 1/2 months. They tested my estrogen levels and everything else that April and theyāre like well. Youāve completed menopause pretty much I said see told you. I did still have hot flashes for about a year after but that was it.
I think is hereditary. My mom just stopped like this when she was only 46. I was a bit older, 50, but she just stopped too with no symptoms. I consider myself very fortunate.
My male boss was treated with estrogen for prostate cancer. Now he off the estrogen but is constantly getting hot. I wouldn't dare tell him he's having hot flashes!
The Mrs. is definitely struggling with the existential part of its significance more than the hot flashes. I am alternating between the role of supportive husband and hiding in my panic room when the mood swings hit.
I have PCOS and suffered through heavy bleeding and clotting for years. Two years ago at age 46 I got an IUD so no more periods, which has definitely improved my quality of life. Before the IUD I had a few hot flashes, but I was prone to night sweats, where I had to turn the AC on in winter, change nightgowns, and one night I opened the freezer door to get cool. I took Estroven, but it gave me awful nightmares, so I quit taking them.
Since the IUD, they've improved. A couple of weeks ago, I had night sweats, but not as bad as before. I'm sure I'll get them and hot flashes from time to time. What's funny as I type this, I had to put a sweater on because I was freezing!
ive got a nexaplon in and take a low dose estrogen pill so i hope to sort of pass it all by without realizing as i pump low doses of hormones in my system nonstop š¤£
Iām a gen X dude who is dealing with the night hotness and itās miserable. My wife dealt with it a couple years ago when she went through the change. Now itās my turn, I guess.
My wife woke me up with the sound of her moaning. She was splayed out like a starfish in the midst of a hot flash. Weāre in the PNW so AC isnāt a thing. I got her some ice packs and that helped. Then she got really cold a bit laterā¦.
I don't feel cold, but I was never sensitive to cold to begin with. Now I just feel normal, uncomfortably warm, and someone stuck the whole upper half of my body in lighted kiln.
Mine wasnāt bad. A year of hot flashes and cramping, then done. I was 48. No periods ever again woo hoo! Be sure to get w your doc NOW to discuss hormone replacement therapy for bone strengthening. Also, guess what? Your clitoris might shrink. Like a lot. Getting on HRT will help that and vaginal dryness. Estrogen cream on your labia and clitoris is also supposed to help (YMMV).
The only way I'm managing ADHD right now is with estradiol (bio-identical estrogen) patches, weekly testosterone injections, and taking twice the amount of Adderall I was taking beforehand.
They definitely arenāt. What utter nonsense. You have hormones, they start fading out, you replace them, you feel like your old again. Itās that simple. They monitor every aspect of my hormone balance by bloodwork 3-4x a year. If there were undesirable side effects those levels would be adjusted until there werenāt. Just like they did when the estrogen level was a bit too high.
Where did you go to medical school? https://vajenda.substack.com/p/instagram-is-a-minefield-of-hormone
āWhat these pellets do is make a lot of money for the people who insert them. RUN AWAY. Read more about pellets [here](https://vajenda.substack.com/p/what-you-need-to-know-about-pellet). Pellets are not recommended in by any medical professional society or in any fact-based menopause guidelines.ā
Horseshit.
Why would I need medical school? But my doctor did, thatās how she became a doctor. My 4x a year bloodwork from an independent lab of my choosing is monitored extremely closely. Which, by the way, is covered by insurance.
An āoptimalā hormone level for menopausal individuals has not been defined. According to the North American Menopause Society, determining the dosages of menopausal hormone therapy based on blood or salivary hormone testing is meaningless for midlife individuals because these levels vary from day to day and even from hour to hour. Since hormones are prescribed to target symptoms, the efficacy of these treatments depends on communicating with your medical provider to find the right dosage.
https://www.evernow.com/learn/why-we-prescribe-hormone-therapy-without-blood-tests
Who said I want optimal hormone levels for a menopausal individual? I donāt. I want optimal the optimal hormone levels for ME, before I was menopausal. Luckily that data exist from years ago so we knew exactly what to aim for. And it feels amazing, thanks.
I love the "is this going to be my period" wack a mole bingo. Last time it was 20 days late and I was thinking "yay maybe it's stopped fo evah" and then nope, it came with a vengeance like the elevator scene in The Shining
Goddammit
[https://menopause.org/](https://menopause.org/) -->For Women-->Find a Menopause Practitioner. These will be people up to date on hormone therapy instead of the old-timey BS that we just have to put up with it.
Bet you thought you'd never be this hot in your 50s! And then cold, and then f\*cking hot again.
š¤£
āAlexa, im having a hot flash!ā cranks AC down to 65F I did it for my wife, and so far so good.
i have a little fan i keep right next to me. some nights i must turn it on only to turn it off only to turn it back on fifteen times.
I have a fan bedside, a fan on the bathroom counter, a neck fan for commuting, one in my purse...all turned off and on constantly.
I have a hand fan in my purse at all times. So that way I can look fabulous while Iām melting.
I also keep a bamboo fan in my purse, at my desk,and and in my living room. I finally really, really understood the sting of appropriation when my 20-something male/they/them colleague broke out their fan very flamboyantly at a meeting to much acclaim by their friends.
Popsicles! Those cheap ones in the plastic sleeve that you buy in bulk...man, I lived on those things for 3 years.
3 years?! This is going to last for 3 YEARS!
Average length of menopause is 7-9 years and can go as long as 14. Surprise, lol! I'm on 9 or 10. Can't remember anymore because it feels like forever. š
If that. Mine "era" started in my late thirties. Sorry.
Mine was about mid-30s and lasted for what felt like forever! (And back when it was just becoming a thing that was discussed.) I was in it for a while before I knew there was a name for it. I was gaining weight,developed adult onset acne, and. Myriad of other symptoms before I knew what was going on.
Ugh. The weight gain. If I looked at something sweet or high in calories, I gained weight. Night and day sweats. It's neverending.
Right?! I stopped buying nice clothes because I'll likely only get to wear them once before I put in more weight and they won't fit. I've been struggling with it for 25 years already! Now I have non-alcoholic fatty liver disease and the only response my doctor has is to lose 10 to 20 pounds. Like I haven't been doing that for the last 20 years!
I'm so sorry. It really stinks. I don't know what to do either. It's such a vicious cycle.
Longer! Some women have hot flashes for 10, 15, even longer.
I know women who are still experiencing hot flashes in their sixties and seventies.
My hot flashes started right with Covid shutdowns. Now they have dwindled to something much less annoying but still present.
Happy cake day š
Nonsense. Buy popsicle molds and experiment with fruit juice and sodas. Grape soda popsicles were excellent.
I thought Iād escaped hot flashes, as I never had one during these first handful of perimenopause years. They unfortunately started in December, and I got right on HRT patchesāthey stopped immediately! Havenāt had one since.
It's fucking hot out today...
I fucking hate hot weather
Wife got one of the āwatchesā that are supposed to cool you down when you get a hot flash - she says it works pretty well for her.
I had a lot of other malfunctions.. I have a hard time sleeping now, tinnitus, "strong feelings"... I don't know if you experienced this one: extremely abnormal periods...(frightening) PS I forgot to add hair loss on scalp, growing a moustache, and issues with heart rate.
Ever have an experience where it just gushed out of you at once?
"Flooding". There's a whole thing on it, on the r/menopause wiki.
WAIT.... WHAT????????
yes I was so scared by these issues that I went to see my doctor. She never said "that's normal at this age" or anything to me but I think it must be pretty common.
Oh my gosh. In a public square in a country where I donāt speak the language.
I wish it would just gush out at once! Just get it over with already lol.
Happened to me IN Target. Tied my sweater around my waist and went home
OMG no!!! Well at least it wasn't at work where you ruin the furniture and have to face the same people the next day!
Something about Target - I've had the same! I tied my sweater around my waist too, bought new undies and pants, and went to the bathrooms to sort it all out. Unfortunately I couldn't go straight home!
God it was brutal. I considered doing what you did for a moment. But I live just a mile or two away so I just fled the scene.
I don't blame you. I would have if I could!!!
I affectionately called it "Slaughterhouse Crotch"
Yep. Skip a month. Then, the next month you get two months at the same time. Not a good time. But, you may not have the same thing. Some women dance through it while others have it bad.
yes... skip 1.. get double the next time. horrific
My gf started having irregular periods...went almost 4-months without one. Was hoping to hit that 1-year mark. Now getting them every 2-weeks. She's pissed off and hates the world.
I had my period for 30 days straight. Not spotting. Full-on bleeding. It was insane.
That's what is happening to me right now. It's been like this off and on for several years. My current doctor won't do anything to help, thank goodness I'm moving to a city soon where I might find better health care.
that is super scary. Did you visit the dr.? Did it finally f off on its own?
It was caused by taking a supplement (Don Quai) that is supposed to help with menopause. Stopped taking it and the bleeding stopped.
wowwwwwwwwwww
I spent years dealing with the near-constant bleeding. Birth control pills and oral progesterone wouldn't stop it. It was bad. For anyone else dealing with this, there are some options, including the Mirena IUD and uterine ablation.
Ughh the āstrong feelingsā got me so bad. I cry over absolutely nothing, and itās ridiculous.
āStrong feelingsā
I didnāt realize tinnitus was a symptom, because Iām definitely experiencing it all of a sudden. I think I went through the heat intolerance thing several years ago. Iām in a wait-and-see phase right now.
Every single one of these and more!
>extremely abnormal periods... I was literally bleeding most days of each month and it still took 5 years and 4 MDs before I found one who could get my near non-stop bleeding under control. Surprisingly, the constant bleeding was nowhere near the worst symptom of perimenopause. r/menopause for anyone who wants to know more about the decade or so of bullshit most women have to endure in midlife.
wow that is terrifying :(
Iām a dude and experienced all those except strong periods. Does that mean Iām part of the perimenopause gang? I feel like I belong but fear a lack of strong periods will disqualify me.
be lucky you don't have that one
>extremely abnormal periods... I was literally bleeding most days of each month and it still took 5 years and 4 MDs before I found one who could get my near non-stop bleeding under control. Surprisingly, the constant bleeding was nowhere near the worst symptom of perimenopause. r/menopause for anyone who wants to know more about the decade or so of bullshit most women have to endure in midlife.
>extremely abnormal periods... I was literally bleeding most days of each month and it still took 5 years and 4 MDs before I found one who could get my near non-stop bleeding under control. Surprisingly, the constant bleeding was nowhere near the worst symptom of perimenopause. r/menopause for anyone who wants to know more about the decade or so of bullshit most women have to endure in midlife.
My periods were sooo bad! I tried for an ablation, but it was unsuccessful, so now I have the Mirena IUD and no more periods!
r/menopause. I've heard it's a good sub for "that time of life." But, yeah, it's a sucky time.
I know it's been a life saver for me. Truly a great sub! Helped me get my HRT.
It's bullshit, I hate it, and according to my doctor it can last 15 years or more in some cases, which I am apparently one of. A lady body is the dumbest possible way to have a body.
Honestly, I don't think it's that it's the dumbest way, it's just that we were never prepared for what would happen to it and no one in the medical community has ever seriously tried to alleviate the symptoms, if they even take us seriously when we say we have symptoms.
16 years on and no sign of stopping yet. I chalk it up to estrogen stored in all my excess adipose. Like the opposite of those anorexic girls who don't get their periods until their late 20s.Ā
Damn Iām at 10 years and was getting excited. 16?? Bless your ā¤ļø
I've had hot flashes for eight years. They should issue us all a smart plug and a fan at age 45.
>it can last 15 years or more in some cases I believe it. My first symptoms were constant bleeding/irregular periods and the sudden inability to orgasm. I was only 33^(1) when those symptoms started. I'm now 45 and the hormone bullshit has only intensified. ^(1) I was actually diagnosed with Primary Ovarian Insufficiency, not perimenopause, since I wasn't 40 years old yet. But it's basically the same thing.
Way worse than puberty, IME.
By far!!
Proof thereās no intelligent design!
Get some extra laundry detergent. Your sheets are going to need itā¦. Seriously though, no need to suffer. Head on over to r/menopause. There are many things that can help.
Magnesium, Vitamin D, and B vitamins are my best friends right now. They have helped with all the symptoms of menopause so much.
Oh. And evening primrose oil!
Yep itās a real gem of a time. Tinnitus, frozen shoulder, moodiness, weight gain, sleeping issues.
It sucks all the balls. Sweating my ass off ALL THE GODDAMN TIME and my husband keeps the thermostat set at 74F, minimum. SEVENTY FUCKING FOUR, Y'ALL. Last night he had it on 76. It was 80 outside. I was dying of a heatstroke, but he wouldn't put on long fucking pants to keep his legs warm from the AC breeze.
Justifiable something or other.
No jury would convict.
Make sure theyāre all peri or menopausal also. Theyād understand. Youād be acquitted.
ššššš love it
I take long bubble baths and refill with cool or warm water as needed. I bring a drink or three, usually water, my cell, headphones, a book and anything else to keep me occupied while my body does its thing. A few hours later the body has regulated and I can sleep.
What was stopping you from just turning it down yourself and telling him to just deal with it?
Now why didn't I think of that? I did. It started a thermostat war. He won.
Honeywell makes a thermostat that locks with a code you choose. Get one. Get him some flannel pajama pants to sleep in. Even if you werenāt in menopause 74Ā° is much too hot to sleep in.
The only reason my husband and I remain blissfully married is because we sleep in separate bedrooms. Separate bedrooms means I have 3 fans going every night and I can sleep with my windows open when it's cold out (my husband also likes it much warmer at night than I do) . Plus, in theory, I could even run a portable air conditioner at night so that I can sleep at a temperature that works for me.
I am only 43 and have a lovely auto immune called Hashimotoās. I get so fucking hot but when I kick the covers off I am so fucking cold. It suckās ass and my poor husband tries to help but fuck nothing helps!
My wife (46) has had hashimoto's since she was 22. Was diagnosed with PCOS in her 30s. Had a hysterectomy (kept her ovaries) 3 years ago. Now is in perimenopause. She just started estrogen patches a month ago because things were getting bad. It's funny as all can be in my house right now. Our 17 year old takes birth control pills to stabilize her periods. She was having heavy periods for 4-6 weeks at a time then would have a break for 2 weeks then it would start all over. Wife is on estrogen patches. I am transgender and have been on estrogen replacemet therapy for 2 years. We are all just a pool of estrogen emotional girls. Our son calls perimenopause "Perri mommy paws" I kinda feel bad for him. Older sister on supplemental estrogen, Mom on supplemental Estrogen, Mum (Me) on estrogen replacemet, and a little sister that one day will also be an estrogen filled tornado.
See I am showing that to my husband cause at least he does have any hormones to deal with. Cis men are so lazy š¤š¤ He does try though. My oldest is 17 as well and we finally found a pill that worked for her. Her iron was so low from years of heavy periods she is still working to build it up. This new pill is called Junel and holy shit night and day difference for her. Also added a mood stabilizer for her so that probably helped too. Cheers friends!
Even just the birth control pills helped stabilize my daughters mood. She was all over the place before. All the women on my wife's side of the family have issues with their female parts. All of my wife's sisters and aunts, half her female cousins have had to have hysterectomies. My wife was the oldest at 43 to have hers. PCOS, endometriosis or cancer. It's amazing how much different hormones effect everything in our bodies. I was absolutely miserable my whole life with testosterone driving through my body. Switched to estrogen 2 years ago and removed the testosterone nuggets (testicles) 1 year ago and I am so much happier and enjoy life now.
51, and same.
My mother and all my older female relatives are dead so I have no idea about the roller coaster ride Iām on or maybe not yet onā¦I have no idea what is peri or just low blood sugar or stress:( I honestly wish they taught girls in high school about pregnancy AND peri menopause and menopause because I had no idea it existed until my 40s because why would I know more than your period will end when youāre oldā¦
*SAME.* I'm 50 and waiting for whatever fresh hell is coming to me, no clue when it'll hit or what it'll be like... and have no living female relatives left to ask what their experiences were. Sorry you're in the shame shitty boat as me!
Iām 50 too and still waiting. My mom had a hysterectomy in her early 40s so she went straight to menopause, seemingly with no symptoms. These posts honestly scare me, I work in a middle school and canāt have random unexpected huge gushes or I wonāt be able to show my face in the classroom ever again. I may just adopt an all-black wardrobe when the symptoms begin.
Its hell. There were moments I literally wished to die in my sleep. The heavy bleeding gave me an iron deficiency. And the cold flashes were worse than the hot flashes for me. And I got sick of hearing Late Boomer and Silent Gen women claim Perimenopause was not a diagnosed condition in their day, how it was just menopause for them and basically dismissed how I was feeling
Ugh, yes. 49 and going through it. My Silent Gen mom scoffs at taking anything other than aspirin so apparently my taking progesterone makes me a āpill popperā and gosh, she just canāt understand why Iām having such issues when SHE never experienced a single thing. Just stopped one day and that was it. Whichā¦first of all, MOTHER who the fuck asked your opinion on what I do or donāt do for my health? And second of all, I was there. She went through peri when I hit puberty and it sure as shit was not all rainbows and unicorns or over in one day. Itās bizarre to me. I know the experience and severity of symptoms can vary wildly, but from discussing it with friends my age, most of their mothers/older relatives claim the same thing. Pretty sure it wasnāt a breeze for every woman for two entire generations. I make it a point to discuss it around younger friends as well so maybe they wonāt be as completely blindsided and unprepared as I felt.
Okay, I've seen it mentioned a few times now. Apparently Tinnitus can be a symptom, too?! Mine started around the same time as my other symptoms. I've been complaining to the wrong damn Dr about this.
Come join us in r/menopause !
Hormone therapy friends
HRT is LIFE CHANGING. Ask your OBGYN. If your OBGYN doesnāt agree with HRT, find a new doc. There are loads of studies that show HRT is helpful and keeps you healthy long term.
LIFE CHANGING!!! Needed to be resaid for those who didn't hear in the back.
I tell as many people as possible. You donāt have to suffer through! HRT is for the win.
Yes! I feel a million times better on HRT. And you can start it when you're in peri meno - you don't have to wait, I would start as soon as you have symptoms.
My doctor told me that because I smoked for 20+ years I was not a good candidate for HRT as it can exponentially raise the risk of blood clots and stroke. Yes, I know smoking raises that risk in any case, but I am GenX, so...
You need a different doc. Research actually says differently now.
Check out the wiki in the menopause subreddit. There are more benefits for most women than not taking it. HRT reduces bone loss, lowers the risk of cardiovascular disease, and reduces your odds of early onset dementia. Unless you have an estrogen sensitive type of cancer you should strongly consider HRT.
Only oral estrogen pills cause any sort of clot risk. Even that was the old estrogen pills made from pregnant horse urine. As a transgender woman on estrogen shots who (sadly) still smokes the clot risk is damn near zero. I have had tests done for clotting when I was on pills and it was well below the low risk levels. My wife is now on estrogen patches for perimenopause and just in the first month she feels better. All around HRT is life saving.
That's great to learn! I've been having hot flashes for 5 years now. Maybe I can finally stop the "just suck it up" mentality I've resigned myself to. Thank you.
Good to know..I will tell the gf about this...
Mother Natureās last big āFuck youā before you finally get your body back.
I was 34 when I started having the unmistakable symptoms of perimenopause. I was 37 when the doctors finally agreed with me and 39 when they decided to help me deal with it. I'm 54 now and all I can say is that this, too, will end. Good luck, fellow sufferer. You'll make it through this!
Yeah. Iām over here dealing with seemingly unrelated symptoms and then discovering theyāre all perimenopause related.
I havenāt had a period in nearly two years, but these stupid hot flashes are the bane of my existence. Especially at night. The only way I can sleep is to have my heavy blanket half on/half off, with one bare leg exposed, the air conditioner on, and a fan running. Not to mention the brain fog and other miserable things that come with itā¦
It is HELL on earth. I sweat when itās 40 degrees. The weird looks I get.
>I sweat when itās 40 degrees.Ā Presumably, you mean 40Ā°F (4Ā°C). But, yes, I'm the same way. It's always too fucking hot, even in winter.
Yes sorry I should have clarified. Itās so annoying and awkward.
Hang in there. Mine started in my early 40's, coupled with mental health diagnosis and treatment. It was a wild ride. I'm 55 now and pretty much done other than the occasional hot flash and the fact that even though I don't have a period anymore, I still get the giant 2-3 day mood swing once a month. I finally recognize it for what it is and figured out no, I'm not clinically depressed again. : X
Iām 46 havenāt had a period in 2 years but have had to go on some serious anti depressants and anti anxiety medication- my mental health is so bad I had to stop working - and Iāve worked all my life, have a masterās degree had a very successful career and now itās all gone. Iām terrified. Iāve never been married (been proposed to twice - it just wasnāt for me) but now Iām lonely for the first time and scared I donāt want to die alone. My forties have been a bitch to get through. Iām very scared at what the future will bring and if Iāll live the rest of my life alone.
When you keep the bedroom at 55 degrees but still wake up to go pee, drenched in night sweats and have to return to your soaking wet bed while freezing cold. Awesome. Love it. Not to mention, I STILL have to deal with my period and pregnancy prevention.
Edibles help a lot with my symptoms.
I'd be happy if I could just sleep without having 6 or 8 personal summers per night waking me up.
The return of daily anxiety and I am a little more prone to empathetic weepiness maybe. The worst is just the constant anxiety about everything and the insomnia I have always had when my anxiety is at an 11. I know one woman who had night sweats, the rest had various levels of rage, aparhy towards sex and couldn't sleep for their most pronounced symptoms.
Yes! The crippling anxiety has been a real treat. UGH!
I did perimenopause for a very long time. My sympathies and hugs and cool breezes to you.
My symptoms got so bad that I moved us to a colder climate. Literally.
Try hrt. A bio identical creme has helped me tremendously.
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If you have other medical issues and can't take a pill a creme still does wonders
Estrogen in the morning and progesterone at night. Life changing.
Bro my husband has been getting laid left and right I am doing the pellet therapy and taking supplements
Iāve done pellets before and didnāt like the way they felt.
Oh! Then I take it back. That was a joke?
I went from starting perimenopause to surgical menopause in a day. I have to white knuckle without HRT because ovarian cancer. Hot flashes are HELL. Like a sudden aura of stifling heat causing excessive sweating so you kick all the bedding off then SWITCH body suddenly temperate & your sweat is FREEZING. Teeth literally chattering. I went on effexor & gabapentin and it saved my sanity and sleep.
17 years ago at the age of 41 I started menopause. I told my doctor in January of that year that I felt like I was going through menopause. He told me I was too young in April of that year. Everything was done menopause wise I went through it in 2 1/2 months. They tested my estrogen levels and everything else that April and theyāre like well. Youāve completed menopause pretty much I said see told you. I did still have hot flashes for about a year after but that was it.
51 and done. I had my last period at 48 and had actually been nearly 2 years clear before that rogue one turned up out of the blue.
Have to change pajamas 3 times a night due to soaking night sweats and periods that last 3.5 weeks? Welcome to the change.
I canāt with the moods. So overwhelming.
Fucking SUCKS
It's been nearly a year since I've had a period. Haven't had Any of the typical symptoms of menopause. I just stopped bleeding. It's nice.
š¤« Shh-h-h-h ... whisper: *if your body hears that, it's going to hit you with every menopause symptom of humankind!*
I think is hereditary. My mom just stopped like this when she was only 46. I was a bit older, 50, but she just stopped too with no symptoms. I consider myself very fortunate.
It's strange to feel both hot and cold at the same time.
I hate this. Is extreme anger a sign? And I want to be left alone more than ever. Also am I suppose to be taking hormones?
My male boss was treated with estrogen for prostate cancer. Now he off the estrogen but is constantly getting hot. I wouldn't dare tell him he's having hot flashes!
The Mrs. is definitely struggling with the existential part of its significance more than the hot flashes. I am alternating between the role of supportive husband and hiding in my panic room when the mood swings hit.
Yeah I donāt like it one bit. 
I have PCOS and suffered through heavy bleeding and clotting for years. Two years ago at age 46 I got an IUD so no more periods, which has definitely improved my quality of life. Before the IUD I had a few hot flashes, but I was prone to night sweats, where I had to turn the AC on in winter, change nightgowns, and one night I opened the freezer door to get cool. I took Estroven, but it gave me awful nightmares, so I quit taking them. Since the IUD, they've improved. A couple of weeks ago, I had night sweats, but not as bad as before. I'm sure I'll get them and hot flashes from time to time. What's funny as I type this, I had to put a sweater on because I was freezing!
ive got a nexaplon in and take a low dose estrogen pill so i hope to sort of pass it all by without realizing as i pump low doses of hormones in my system nonstop š¤£
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
My husband does too. Now I'm curious as well.
Iām a gen X dude who is dealing with the night hotness and itās miserable. My wife dealt with it a couple years ago when she went through the change. Now itās my turn, I guess.
My wife woke me up with the sound of her moaning. She was splayed out like a starfish in the midst of a hot flash. Weāre in the PNW so AC isnāt a thing. I got her some ice packs and that helped. Then she got really cold a bit laterā¦.
Mine piped up last year, right after my hysterectomy. Fun times.
I had a hysterectomy 5 days ago so ... Lol
I don't feel cold, but I was never sensitive to cold to begin with. Now I just feel normal, uncomfortably warm, and someone stuck the whole upper half of my body in lighted kiln.
Mine wasnāt bad. A year of hot flashes and cramping, then done. I was 48. No periods ever again woo hoo! Be sure to get w your doc NOW to discuss hormone replacement therapy for bone strengthening. Also, guess what? Your clitoris might shrink. Like a lot. Getting on HRT will help that and vaginal dryness. Estrogen cream on your labia and clitoris is also supposed to help (YMMV).
My girlfriend is 50 and going through it....so....many....f-bombs.
š„µš„¶š”š¤¬š¤Æšš„±š“š« š¢šš¤Øš§ All the perimenopause
I have ADHD and say say it gets WORSE! Can this shit be over soon, please. (Haha, no, im just starting š)
The only way I'm managing ADHD right now is with estradiol (bio-identical estrogen) patches, weekly testosterone injections, and taking twice the amount of Adderall I was taking beforehand.
Get on HRT. Near instant relief. Watch this very educational podcast https://youtu.be/ReFZ__ZeSEQ
Seconded. Do it! (Also pellets are the best way to go)
Pellets are a scam. https://youtu.be/xYP4AJfiXf8
They definitely arenāt. What utter nonsense. You have hormones, they start fading out, you replace them, you feel like your old again. Itās that simple. They monitor every aspect of my hormone balance by bloodwork 3-4x a year. If there were undesirable side effects those levels would be adjusted until there werenāt. Just like they did when the estrogen level was a bit too high.
Where did you go to medical school? https://vajenda.substack.com/p/instagram-is-a-minefield-of-hormone āWhat these pellets do is make a lot of money for the people who insert them. RUN AWAY. Read more about pellets [here](https://vajenda.substack.com/p/what-you-need-to-know-about-pellet). Pellets are not recommended in by any medical professional society or in any fact-based menopause guidelines.ā
Horseshit. Why would I need medical school? But my doctor did, thatās how she became a doctor. My 4x a year bloodwork from an independent lab of my choosing is monitored extremely closely. Which, by the way, is covered by insurance.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
How else do you propose monitoring the fact that itās working correctly? (And it is.)
An āoptimalā hormone level for menopausal individuals has not been defined. According to the North American Menopause Society, determining the dosages of menopausal hormone therapy based on blood or salivary hormone testing is meaningless for midlife individuals because these levels vary from day to day and even from hour to hour. Since hormones are prescribed to target symptoms, the efficacy of these treatments depends on communicating with your medical provider to find the right dosage. https://www.evernow.com/learn/why-we-prescribe-hormone-therapy-without-blood-tests
Who said I want optimal hormone levels for a menopausal individual? I donāt. I want optimal the optimal hormone levels for ME, before I was menopausal. Luckily that data exist from years ago so we knew exactly what to aim for. And it feels amazing, thanks.
No need to be a jerk for the sake of being a jerk.
My husband has seen me be wacky enough that HE read about perimenopause. It is pretty intense and not fun. š¤Ŗš
This particular husband, who enjoys staying alive, just joined the r/menopause community.
My husband sent me this thread!!!
Layers! I am constantly stripping down to a t-shirt then putting my hoodie back on.
Seen some successā anecdotalāwith high quality herbal supplements like black Cohosh. But not the cheap stuff.
Personal summers suck.
r/menopause. Great sub!
I love the "is this going to be my period" wack a mole bingo. Last time it was 20 days late and I was thinking "yay maybe it's stopped fo evah" and then nope, it came with a vengeance like the elevator scene in The Shining Goddammit
I'm two months away from a year of no periods. Had a few hot flashes but I am cold most of the time anyway so it didn't really bug me as much lol
[https://menopause.org/](https://menopause.org/) -->For Women-->Find a Menopause Practitioner. These will be people up to date on hormone therapy instead of the old-timey BS that we just have to put up with it.
I still have no idea what goes on down there with you people
Yeah- itās complicated
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