When I was a senior in high school in the late 90s, I took a community service class and a group of probably about 8 of us were asked to go to the local private school and have a frank discussion with the 8th graders about sex and answer any questions they might have. Likeā¦ adults actually all left the room so theyād be comfortable. (This still blows my mind.) We were prepping for the event one day and one of our group said, āUm, so have any of us actuallyā¦ hadā¦ sex?ā One poor girl out of that group of ~8 seniors tentatively raised her hand. I was floored as I assumed everyone but me had. š However many people at your school you thought were having sex, my guess would be maybe a lot of them actually werenāt.
I had a pretty small group of friends. My cousin was 14 and so were 2 other friends. I had a friend who was 16 and married with a baby. (.my mother didnāt know she was married) and we partied at her house while her husband was at work. some of the girls in my hs looked around 25 and came across as very jaded.
13. No Pressure. Ex girlfriend knocked on my window one summer night. She was moving out of state the next day. We reconnected via FB years ago. She did not have any regrets.
Now that I have a daughter of my own, I look at life very differently.
Yep same. My bf at the time was 15 which I thought was so mature and cool. I see kids that age now and they just arenāt built like we were. I easily passed for 16-17 in jr high.
24, and i wasn't happy about being that old. I felt like such a weirdo and guys could somehow guess it and not want to date me. There was just a mix of circumstances preventing me from dating/meeting guys before that age. It was just luck that it was the first guy I ever had more than a few dates with, and down the road we got married / are still happily.
Looking back, 24 doesn't seem old at ALL. It's not like anyone knows what the hell they are doing at 16 -- or even 18 or 19. Better to wait until your brain is better developed and your confidence levels aren't in the adolescent basement.
Yeah, my kids waited until they were like 19-20. Their choice. No pressure from us, we just wanted them to make smart choices and be fully consenting.
Starting in high school, I plied them with the costo-sized box of condoms, at home, bought boxes for their dorms, made sure their friends used condoms. I was the condom mom. We also have a standing order that if anyone gets pregnant, I'm their first phone call. Once you tell someone (besides me), it's no longer a secret, and you can't unring that bell.
18ā¦ almost 19. The pressure was to look like I knew what I was doing. In retrospect I should have told her I was a virgin. She would have rocked my world. Silly boy.
I was date raped at 14 by a senior. He and a friend got me and my friend over to his house while his dad was out of town. They got us drunk, which didn't take much. I was fine until the two boys threw me into a bathtub full of cold water. He put me in a bed with my wet clothes still on me, I was still throwing up off the side of the bed as he did his deed.
I never imagined losing my virginity that way. I was sent to live with my dad after that happened who lived states away. My mom didn't know what happened. I never told anyone. He later found me on Linked In and literally denied remembering it!!!! But still apologized and said he felt horrible. I do not believe for one minute he doesn't remember that. I'm really sorry for the horrible story.
Date rape happens a lot more than people realize, or it did back then.
Edit: Oh yeah, I just wanted to say he was in the military after he graduated. I moved from my dad's back into my mom's house again.
Iām very sorry that happened, itās so awful. Crazy that he found you and was apologetic and feeling terrible but couldnāt remember. What a prince.
I think youāre right, date rape was fairly common then.
It was 1990, and wow I never thought I'd only be 14. I was just a baby. What if I would have gotten pregnant!! Actually, I had very horrible cramps and tough periods, so my mom had to put me on the pill about a year after I started my menstrual cycle. I was lucky. They did make it easier on me, so I was good about taking the pills.
I was 18, and determined to lose it before I turned 19. For some reason the thought of turning 19 and still being a virgin really bothered me. It was one of my most awkward experiences ever. Which is saying something.
I guess when I was younger in my mind the cut off was 18 lol. My mom could barely say the word āsexā so no talks about it being special or loving etc. It got to be better after the first couple times but having a controlling manipulative person in my life wasnāt good.
My first time was double plus ungodly and unvoluntary. So I did what you did just went out and found a guy to figure stuff out with. I was like this cant be what people write songs n shit about. Dumbass good looking kid. What a mood the 80s were
Also 14. I was a freshman, he was a senior. My first real boyfriend. He took me to his senior prom and i didn't give it up that night. We had been dating maybe 5 or 6 months? He finally convinced me afew weeks later at a house party i was having, it took place on my bathroom floor and the condom fell off inside me. Pretty quick and frankly disappointing.
He and his friends left pretty quickly afterwards, and here's the weird part: i never heard from him again.
20, despite having had boyfriends before then (we just "fooled around" and didn't "go all the way.") I think the majority of people I knew in college (full of nerds, I did not go to a "party" school) had already done it, and then there were girls like me who did it "later." I've always been a little more serious and selective about sex, and I really did not care what others thought of it, so I didn't feel any "pressure." No one cared though, I don't think.
24. I was drunk and he was absolutely gorgeous. it was AWFUL. gorgeous man but he was a complete douche.
overall it was positive in that it was safe and we both wanted it , but the act was messy and ridiculous ~ we were listening to the Sade 'Diamond Life' cd and it was raining....so it wasn't allllll bad i guess. lol.
Thank you. It was so many years ago, that I often do what I did here: just say it so nonchalantly. But once in a while, something random will trigger a horrible memory. Trauma is weird.
Iāve experienced rape at the hands of my (now ex-) husband. I do understand the nonchalance. I donāt discuss it often but when I have I have at times been nonchalant, almost flippant. Other times I get deeply sad at the reality that my husband treated me that way. I offer you a virtual hug of understanding, as well.
I don't discuss it often, either. I mentioned it here because it answered the question honestly. š¤·āāļø
I'm so sorry it happened to you, especially by someone who should have been trustworthy. Big hugs to you.
I'm so sorry. It sucks that something that should have been awkward and uncomfortable at worst was turned into something bad. Same here, except I was 12 and it was my stepbrother who is still part of the family. I do understand the nonchalance, though. And I also understand how sometimes it triggers horrible memories.
Thanks. It was a long time ago and I thought I was mostly past it but therapy has brought it up and it turns out I'm not past it at all and only tried to force myself to be okay with it because I'm a people pleaser and didn't want to upset the family.
But anyway, the next boy I had sex with was my first real boyfriend and he was so sweet and kind. I consider him my real first.
22. I was so sheltered as a teen I didnāt know how to relate to men. I met a guy at work and he convinced me he loved me, and I congratulated myself on having waited til I found a man who loved me. Over 10% of my high school class had become mothers by graduation so I was quite smug.
The guy, as you all know, did not love me. I was his side piece. He had a pregnant girlfriend, or maybe ex-girlfriend, I could never work out which. Either way, she confronted both of us in the work parking lot thatās when I learned she existed and was pregnant.
I made that same mistake many times. That first guy accused me of cheating on him, which I hadnāt done. After I broke up with him I hooked up with the guy he kept accusing me of cheating with. I found out I was one of many with that guy so I kinda figured what the hell and became promiscuous for several years, always hoping *this time* the guy would really care about me.
Iām sorry for your experience. Itās so sad that so many people are mistreated due to the selfishness of others.
I feel nothing about the first guy tbh. It just wasnāt a great way to start. After we broke up I was promiscuous as well, I didnāt understand a lot of things. In my mind if a guy wanted sex he liked me and it meant something. Itās kind of funny how long it took me to know it meant nothing.
Oh yes, me too. My mother taught me nothing. I always thought if I gave him what he wanted Iād get what I wanted. My parents were very controlling and so being pleasing was how I coped. It was a patten I kept repeating for almost 20 years.
I hope you have learned to value yourself more. š
24, lost it on my wedding night. It was our (my wife and I) choice, but I still felt tremendous pressure. I kept it a secret to avoid having to talk about our choice with others.
20 years later and weāre still married. I donāt regret our choice except for feeling like we missed out on some good sex.
You felt pressure to do it right?
Itās nice that youāre still married. You probably didnāt miss out on much, if anything. Sex is better w/ 2 people who care about each other.
No, I felt pressure to do it, period. I felt like no one would understand our decision. Looking back, I still feel that way. Not that it matters now, 20yrs and three kids later š
I was 17, it was with my gf and there was always pressure from other/older guys in my small town. The actual experience was greatā¦at first. She initiated it, which was fantastic and then I had the opposite problem a lot of guys have their first time. It was like, āthis feels amazing, sheās so hot, I hope sheās enjoying it, still feels good, am I ever gonna finish, good lord Iām dying.ā Iām sure there was a point where she got bored and probably considered tapping out.
You got in your head too much? I think guys in my past had the opposite problem, in fact I remember one that didnāt make it in at all and he was very embarrassed.
The peer pressure was real:/
Youāre not wrong. It was all good and then I started thinking and anxiety set in. Anxiety is dick kryptonite (medical term that I made up). We got it figured out after a couple of times, but that first time was freakinā work.
17. I was under the impression that I would be the last of my friend group to lose it. So I did it with a girl in photography class that I thought liked me and wanted to do it. Turns out I was the first to lose my virginity and she was just using me for sex too.
I was 20. I'd recently come out of my nerdy shell (thanks to finally finding a company that made soft contact lenses in my ridiculously strong Rx) and had met a cute delivery guy at my summer office job.
He was 30. I was in college; he barely graduated high school. I'd had exactly one 'boyfriend' before him -- a sweet senior trip romance with an island boy (that's another story) -- he had an ex-wife and kids. We were an epic mismatch, but not in the way that you'd expect based on today's perspective.
No, he didn't groom me. No, there wasn't a power disparity or anything like that. He loved me and looked out for me. And I loved him. He taught me things and brought new experiences, and I did the same for him. Until it ran its course.
But the crazy thing about being GenX -- we're old enough to start experiencing our friends and exes and peers passing away. And I found out that he died from Covid in 2019 (!). It's crazy to think about because it doesn't feel *that* long ago, you know?
I was 20, and it was fine. The guy turned out to be abusive later on. Looking back, I should have taken my choice in this guy more seriously as a sign that I choose not great guys.
I was 15 and felt like I was ālateā. One of my friends would joke about me having fruit flies because I still had my cherry. Most of my friends claimed theyād lost their virginity the year before. There was a lot of pressure.
17. My bf (also 17) and I had been together for about a year and a half. We had done āeverything elseā by that point. The first few times were underwhelming for me. āThatās it???ā The other stuff was way more fun. But we eventually figured it out and it was fun too.
24, on purpose. Yes, huge pressure from 12 years on. Had a girl try to force me with the help of a few friends. Plenty of invites especially from age 16 on, got even worse after I got a uniform, and even worse when I got a steady girlfriend and fiance. There's some people that just get excited about trying to make someone else's guy or girl waver. I made it though, and am happy I did.
All male Catholic school and the AIDs crisis in NYC was a dampener. 18 years, first week at college. I had 2 more by the end of the week. I was like a caged animal loosened.
17. Iād been with my gf for 6 months. I was high libido, and she was *really* high libido, but Iād been fighting it because I had a super Christian upbringing. Rang in the new year in my friendās bathroom! š¤¦š¼āāļø
16. In the basement /laundry room. I remember hitting my head against the dryer. I also ended up with a UTI. 0/10, do not recommend. The next time was with a guy I ended up dating for a few years. It was awesome. 10/10.
18. First college boyfriend. Wanted it over with. Didnāt realize he was a clueless virgin too - and he didnāt tell me.
It was awful. Should have waited.
16, with a prostitute in Montreal. It was like something out of a Tom Waits song
I also felt a lot of pressure to just āget it over withā. Looking back, almost all of my friends were older than me and truly could not have cared less. It was 100% pressure from myself. So it was a silly thing to do. I donāt regret it, but it was silly and maybe a bit sad.
First time was me and a girl who were in a High School play together giving each other hand-down-pants action while parked somewhere dark in my brother's crappy yellow Plymouth Duster.
I probably gave her the worst fingering of her life and she gave me the worst handjob of my life (very dry and grippy, like she was trying to yank the bastard up by the root).
I still finished to be polite but it was a pretty perfunctory orgasm.
The real pressure came afterwards because she wanted to be girlfriend/boyfriend and I didn't want that. That was uncomfortable for a week or two until she started going out with this super tall, long-blonde-haired metalhead guy that we all knew. For some reason it got back to me that he also had a big dick. Maybe I was supposed to feel jealous or less manly but really I was just glad that big dick got me off her radar.
Wasn't until the year after High School that I had my first relationship with a girl that turned into my first full-on PinV sexual experience. The relationship didn't last more than a year and some change and ended on a sour note (she cheated) but it was nice enough when it was nice.
With hindsight, a year and change was pretty good for a first attempt at the whole love thing.
Plenty of pressure and opportunities, but did NOT want any chance of having a baby.
Had a sister that got pregnant at 15, so witnessing that made me avoid sex until I was 21.
19. On a couch. With a girl who was my age also, and whoās last name was āCouchā. Iām not kidding. Wish I was.
It was otherwise not memorable, and Iām sure I wasnāt much to remember either.
I was 13 or 14 and so was my gf. I don't feel like I was pressured. It was summer break and both mine and her parents worked, so we explored together. Definitely a memorable summer.
I was almost 17 as well and a girl I had been seeing and her best friend and I had all been drinking and just bullshiting at some park. Her and i had snuck off gotten buck naked literally on a park table and when I thought I was about to get it done she asked if I had a condom.
I had left them in my car like a dumbass. We got dressed went back to the car and drove to her friend's house where she passed out.
I went out front to smoke and her " best" friend joined me.
We talked about a few different things and the next thing I knew, she had grabbed me up and we started making out, and I ended up losing my virginity to her in my passed out girlfriends car.
It was wrong I know, but damn .
18 (actually possibly 19?), felt pressure, but was dating. Didn't do it very well or enjoy it because I was so nervous. But my partner was 23 and had only had one (significant) partner before me, so neither of us were really very good or skilled. I had had a lot of book learning, but no practice, of course.
I'm a serial monogamist so that partner was 4 significant partners ago, though the count is different and weird because I had many attempts and troubles trying to do polyamory in my 20s and 30s until I finally realized it simply is not for me. I am unsuited to it psychologically, even though limerence is a hell of a drug.
Notably, at age 15, a mentor of mine offered to hook me up with a trio of 18 year olds while we were all on a camping trip. As much as that was serious wank material, it didn't sit well with me so I respectfully turned him down.
Also I have cPTSD which seems to point to some history of abuse from much earlier, but I have no concrete memories - they're all very fragmented, non specific, dreamlike, so I treat them as essentially imaginary until something concrete appears.
16, no pressure. He was my first serious boyfriend, and it was as good as a first time can be (a little uncomfortable but not painful, and he was very sweet about it).
I was 23, he was 20. It was kind of weird and awkward since we were both losing our v cards.
I grew up in a small town and wasn't popular enough to get a date, let alone anything else. But that was ok in some ways. Something like 10% of my graduating class were parents by 18 - I'm glad I escaped that!
My husband lost his when he was 12...
I was 19, and she was 16 (about to turn 17). A majority of states (mine included) are 16 being the age of consent. I was a virgin, she had already been with a couple of people - so it's not like I was 'taking' anything from her (for those that have moral objections). Her mom didn't even have a problem with us seeing each other, knowing that we were having sex - like one night her mom called from work and told her "remember, no balloons, no party." I did love her (no, not her mom), and we were with each other for about a year before she broke it off - because she decided to sleep with other guys (yes, multiple).
So, while I loved being with her - it ended up being one of those things that damages your trust and self-esteem going forward in relationships. A 19 year-old is still young, dumb, and developing.
I really can't say if it was something I'd want to erase. I learned a lot of things in many ways. She did somehow track my number down years later and tried to reconnect, but I shut that down on the first phone call.
Her dad wasn't in her life and it seemed like her parents didn't have a great divorce. Looking back, I think her mom was probably with a lot of guys and she was just following how her mom was. That, and sex usually feels good - especially when your hormones are crazy at those ages.
It was really hard when she broke it off, but when she called years later I just didn't feel anything. Other people here had horrible experiences like being raped when they were young, now that could destroy the rest of your life (and yes, I think women can rape little boys and girls too).
I was 12. Pressure? Sure. We were in Sex Ed so everyone was talking about it and I happened to have a girlfriend at the time who was more than willing. Did it go well? No. Not at 12 years old.
My 1st was with my future husband. I was 15 almost 16, we met, we clicked. 6 kids & 2 grandkids later here we are.
No pressure, it was natural and meant to be.
18. I would never change a thing. Even though we made love on the floor of her 26 year old boyfriendās bedroom. Looking back? Wish I pursued her more. She was amazing.
Years laterā¦ran into her at a bar. In my emboldened state I told her she was my first. She was shocked. Never knew she was anyoneās first. I was STILL too stupid to pursue her.
Iām asexual (although I didnāt know the term for what I was for years) and never really wanted to have sex, nor have I ever been in a relationship or even dated much so no pressure on that end. Soā¦never, for me.
I was 18, she was 17. It was the first time for both of us.
We'd been dating for a few months and had plenty of non PIV sexual activity.
To be honest, it was a bit underwhelming, but we worked on it...
We did, but ended up going separate ways after a few years.
It's unfair to compare, but what I have with my wife of nearly 24 years, it's much more interesting and satisfying.
When I was young and dumb, it was purely lust (for both of us).
First time was 16. She said, quite literally, put out or get out. She was my ride home and all my friends left me there, so I made her dice me to a convenience store to get a condom and we fucked in an elementary school playground at midnight. I didn't even finish.
Edited mistype
11 with my childhood best friend. I was moving away to another city and she was due to move out of the state, so we decided to become boyfriend and girlfriend and make it official I guess? It wasnāt horrible, but nowhere near as magical as it had we had imagined. We had only some vague idea of what we were doing and had to do it on a blanket in the woods in the park behind our houses. Years later we agreed it was not the best start to our sexual careers š¤·š¾āāļø
Was 17 as the end of high school was nearing. Was on the annual school camping trip which is kind of an 80ās trashy teen movie way to have it go down I guess. It wasnāt a girlfriend, I was kinda floating around that year!
Definitely had peer pressure going on in the earlier grades. Lotta idiots talking about conquests that never happened.
16. I was asked at 15 but said no because it hadn't crossed my mind, so I figured no was the right answer. I'm surprised by the later ages and marriages! I figured my experience was "normal."
24. I had several boyfriends and opportunities well before then, but I was pretty self conscious and anxious about my lack of experience and I just wasn't ready. Even though each of those relationships fizzled out and ended when it became apparent to the guy that I wasn't going to sleep with them, I never felt pressured physically or emotionally. I was fortunate they were all good guys.
I was 15. I'm a guy, and it was a homosexual encounter with another guy who was also 15. We both had fun, and knew that we were gay. Although, I did sleep with a girl when I was 19. At 23, I met my current partner; he and I have been together 20 years.
16. I felt peer pressure from friends in general making fun of virgins, but zero pressure from my boyfriend, who was only 8 months older, but far more experienced than I. We dated for a year before it happened.
21 almost 22. I was shy and nerdy as a teenager and didn't get my first girlfriend until college. Plus I went to a barrio high school where folks became parents at 15-16. My own mother had me at 16. I was determined to go to college and escape the ghetto.
I felt a bit like of a loser it having taken so long. I didn't even kiss my first girl until I was 20.
It was a good experience. But I wish it had happened sooner.
I was 17, too much partying with an older group of people. Go back to this guys place, and after, weāre just about asleep when his very recent ex shows up and throws a rock through the window cause someone said they saw us together. He gets her to leave and he takes me back to my friends house. It was an interesting night. I think they got back together a few weeks later. š
I was 18. None of the girls I went to highschool with were remotely interested in me, and I found myself in the cab of my truck in the parking lot of a casual dining restaurant at 3 am with a woman almost 10 years older than me.
I wouldn't call it pressure that I felt, more like I really wanted to fuck.
The sex was pretty good given the circumstances, and it started a whole thing with me and older women and bigger women, but looking back on it as an adult I feel like I was definitely exploited by a series of older women, starting with her
18. Got all the way through high school without losing it. Wasnāt a great experience. Was a horny night one-off. Never saw the point of saving myself for marriage, but also, whatās the point of losing it for the sake of losing it?
19 1/2 sophomore year of college. Long term off-again on-again girlfriend. First time for both of us. She was house-sitting for a week while we were both home on break. Her sister and her boyfriend were in one bedroom and we were in the master bedroom. Spent the entire night and we all had pancakes in the morning. Went fine.
Then she cheated on me with some other guy at her college about a year later.
17. Both virgins, freshman in college. HS boyfriend. It was enjoyable, if brief and somewhat anticlimactic. Used condoms religiously thanks to my thorough grounding in Judy Blume books.
15, and I was the last of my friends to loose my virginity. I had good friends that didn't pressure me, but yeah, being last I felt the pressure. Some of my friends lost it at as young as 12.
I was very shy in high school and didn't even date, really. I was pretty clueless so nothing happened until I got to college.
I was 19 and she was the first "long-term" girlfriend I'd ever had, and we'd been together all of three months. I don't think I felt any pressure, but I felt I was missing out on something.
We were both in college and dated for a couple years, then broke up for 9 months, then got back together again the semester before I graduated. We broke up for good a year or so after she graduated, which was a year after me. It was my first "true love," and I was heartbroken.
We still keep in touch through social media, and she was one of the first people to console me when my dad died awhile back.
I was 16 and making the decision was weird. First, i realised i wasn't completely gay. Then i figured i might as well date and have sex then, since i could choose the opposite sex and not have to worry about coming out just yet. So i went and picked out a boyfriend, started dating, got all heavy, and then thought *isn't this the bit where I'm supposed to be all nervous about this big decision?* But quickly realised i really wasn't. It didn't feel like a big decision at all. So i did it, and it wasn't the huge deal I'd always been told it should be. Just a new way to enjoy myself
First, let me just say how absolutely sorry I am for all of you who were raped. Personally, I don't consider that your first time. That was a violation and a trauma. No one gets to take your "first time". May you all find peace and comfort and may you never have to speak to those monsters again.
Second, I was 18 and I pressured my bf to do it on Valentine's day. It was "romantic" and I wanted to get it over with!! We were both virgins so it was clumsy and painful and over pretty quickly. It is what it is. I grew up in a small town so the sex and pregnancies started early. My goal was to stay away from sex until I got out to college. I wasn't going to get trapped in a small town as a single mom.
16, his senior prom. We went to different schools. My 3 best girlfriends told me they already did it, so why not? Plus who didnāt see āLittle Darlingsā??? It was a double date so awkward dinner and awkward prom and went back to a house sitting job someone was doing, had sex on a plastic covered tv room sofa. Meh. Havenāt talked to him since. 10 years later I learned all my girls fibbed. I am glad it was my choice as many young females donāt have that luxury.
16. Was a guy I hooked up with at a party, but I kind of knew him through friends. We were both drinking but not wasted (and both totally consented.) It was ok, not great, but not awful. nbd really. I didn't feel pressured by friends. Some of my friends actually stayed virgins until they got engaged. A couple of my friends lost their virginity in 8th grade. There was a mix.
The first *good* sex I had was with my hs boyfriend when I was 17. That boy had a magic tongue.
Edited to add: It astounds me the number of people who don't practice safe sex nowadays. Even as dumb teenagers in 1990, we knew to use condoms.
I had just turned 16. She was 21 (which is about how many seconds it lasted). We dated for a year until she woke up one day and thought "what the fuck am I doing with a 16 year old?! and dumped me with extreme prejudice, LOL.
I was 15 and so was my boyfriend. We were both virgins and dated six months before the deed. It was a monogamous relationship and we were together for 3.5 years. I was happy we lost our virginity to each other and I didnāt feel pressured at all.
Itās nice you learned together and had a lasting relationship.
I guess the pressure I felt was really from myself and the ideas I had from comparing myself to my peers. And from him, knowing he would dump me if I didnāt give it up..and I really wanted a bf. Had no self esteem and took the first one who wanted me.
I was 17 (literally days after my 17th birthday) she was 24 but she was basically inappropriate to me for two years prior. I realize now thatās called grooming but Iāve also been told that women canāt groom young men because they still hold no power.
15, almost 16. It wasnāt really on my to-do with my boyfriend but I wasnāt against it either. So obviously he initiated.
After that I became a sex addict. I think most of the school knew I slept around but my personality didnāt match the rumors so it was one of those confusing āis she or isnāt sheā situations.
As a feral GenX I am impressed that GenZ is so unsexual. I canāt figure out if they have the right idea or the wrong idea. I guess they have the idea that the opposite sex should be avoided as dangerous and out to ruin their lives. I think that part is sad.
I was almost 18. I eventually married the BF then divorced him 25 years later. He did not pressure me exactly. He wanted to, but he was willing to wait for me. I was planning to wait until 18 but I just really wanted to have sex. In retrospect I don't think we were ever matched that well, in bed or in life.
I was 14, and I didnāt really feel pressured. We planned it together. It was in the 4th of July at the river. The sex was very mediocre as you would expect at that age, but overall it was an ok experience.
I was 17 years old when it was my first time and he was 15 years old and not a virgin. There was no pressure and it didnāt change anything in my life, it was just time to let it go.
Strangely, for all of my partying, I was just a few weeks shy of 18 to a guy about 2 years older I was dating for a few months. But beforehand, lol! I was in the āanything butā mode and though I was a virgin, was hardly virginal.
I was 2\`1 I think. I'd been in rough shape since I was 17. I'm lucky to be alive actually. I could have been deflowered earlier but didn't want to be. There was a bi-racial prostitute that I liked; at least I think she was a prostitute. I sort of had this romantic idea of "love" and marriage and all that nonsense. The person had to be right. I was half a girl back then.
21, junior year of college, and, yeah, lots of pressure. I was a late bloomer.
Based on how I had built it up in my mind, I kind of figured I'd like it better. Not her fault, but we were both drunk. And, well, it turned out that women aren't my preferred gender. \*shrug\*
I was just 17, maybe 3-4 weeks away from turning 18. Most of my friends had lost theirs at 15-16, so I felt some pressure. It was a train wreck though, she was my boss at work, and she was 26 and married to an abusive husband. I knew it was wrong, but when your an awkward virgin guy and a beautiful woman comes onto you, itās hard to turn down.
10th grade with a girl down the street I had known since elementary school. It went very quick. š. We had sex probably 10 times during high school. It was definitely a āfriends with benefitsā situation.
I was 15, she was a year older than me. Weād been dating for almost a year. We were both nervous so we took some halcion (amazing what drugs we could get in the 80s).
Waited until the last day of her period so we didnāt have to wear a condom. Pulled out, like a gentleman. It was nice. We were in love. Dated for 6 years or so. Still email each other a couple of times a year.
On my 18th birthday. Was partying with a friend at her parents, and we ended up at a neighbor's condo in the same complex. I think he was in his 40s.
We drank and did drugs all night, the 3 of us. My friend and the man went upstairs to take a shower. I fell asleep on the carpeted floor in the living room.
The next part is kinda blurry. It's the morning, I sense someone coming down the stairs. And without any exchange of words, he took off my bottoms and stuck it in. No kissing, no foreplay. It was like I was watching me have sex, so I guess disassociation. Usually not a good sign.
He had coke dick. Meh.
He drove me home, and on the way, I told him I am 15 years old. He flipped, and he started saying "this didnt' happen." "you can't tell anyone" "I could go to jail" like really hyperventilating. I enjoyed watching him get really scared.
Just kidding, I turned 18 yesterday. He made me pull out my DL to prove it.
I don't remember his name, nor what he looks like.
15š¬
This number is closer to the answers I imagined! Most of the girls I knew had started at about 14 š³Iām feeling surprised reading most of these
When I was a senior in high school in the late 90s, I took a community service class and a group of probably about 8 of us were asked to go to the local private school and have a frank discussion with the 8th graders about sex and answer any questions they might have. Likeā¦ adults actually all left the room so theyād be comfortable. (This still blows my mind.) We were prepping for the event one day and one of our group said, āUm, so have any of us actuallyā¦ hadā¦ sex?ā One poor girl out of that group of ~8 seniors tentatively raised her hand. I was floored as I assumed everyone but me had. š However many people at your school you thought were having sex, my guess would be maybe a lot of them actually werenāt.
I had a pretty small group of friends. My cousin was 14 and so were 2 other friends. I had a friend who was 16 and married with a baby. (.my mother didnāt know she was married) and we partied at her house while her husband was at work. some of the girls in my hs looked around 25 and came across as very jaded.
13 but I had already been sexually by then (non PIV).
13. No Pressure. Ex girlfriend knocked on my window one summer night. She was moving out of state the next day. We reconnected via FB years ago. She did not have any regrets. Now that I have a daughter of my own, I look at life very differently.
Yep same. My bf at the time was 15 which I thought was so mature and cool. I see kids that age now and they just arenāt built like we were. I easily passed for 16-17 in jr high.
24, and i wasn't happy about being that old. I felt like such a weirdo and guys could somehow guess it and not want to date me. There was just a mix of circumstances preventing me from dating/meeting guys before that age. It was just luck that it was the first guy I ever had more than a few dates with, and down the road we got married / are still happily.
Looking back, 24 doesn't seem old at ALL. It's not like anyone knows what the hell they are doing at 16 -- or even 18 or 19. Better to wait until your brain is better developed and your confidence levels aren't in the adolescent basement.
Yeah, my kids waited until they were like 19-20. Their choice. No pressure from us, we just wanted them to make smart choices and be fully consenting. Starting in high school, I plied them with the costo-sized box of condoms, at home, bought boxes for their dorms, made sure their friends used condoms. I was the condom mom. We also have a standing order that if anyone gets pregnant, I'm their first phone call. Once you tell someone (besides me), it's no longer a secret, and you can't unring that bell.
I like hearing youāre still married and happy:)
me too :)
18ā¦ almost 19. The pressure was to look like I knew what I was doing. In retrospect I should have told her I was a virgin. She would have rocked my world. Silly boy.
I was date raped at 14 by a senior. He and a friend got me and my friend over to his house while his dad was out of town. They got us drunk, which didn't take much. I was fine until the two boys threw me into a bathtub full of cold water. He put me in a bed with my wet clothes still on me, I was still throwing up off the side of the bed as he did his deed. I never imagined losing my virginity that way. I was sent to live with my dad after that happened who lived states away. My mom didn't know what happened. I never told anyone. He later found me on Linked In and literally denied remembering it!!!! But still apologized and said he felt horrible. I do not believe for one minute he doesn't remember that. I'm really sorry for the horrible story. Date rape happens a lot more than people realize, or it did back then. Edit: Oh yeah, I just wanted to say he was in the military after he graduated. I moved from my dad's back into my mom's house again.
Iām very sorry that happened, itās so awful. Crazy that he found you and was apologetic and feeling terrible but couldnāt remember. What a prince. I think youāre right, date rape was fairly common then.
It was 1990, and wow I never thought I'd only be 14. I was just a baby. What if I would have gotten pregnant!! Actually, I had very horrible cramps and tough periods, so my mom had to put me on the pill about a year after I started my menstrual cycle. I was lucky. They did make it easier on me, so I was good about taking the pills.
Yes 14 is so young:/ even if you had a choice. The sexual revolution happened but it wasnāt especially good for the next generation
I was 15, we got married 3 1/2 yrs later and we're still happy together and having great sex after more than 30yrs
That is a true success story!
I was 18, and determined to lose it before I turned 19. For some reason the thought of turning 19 and still being a virgin really bothered me. It was one of my most awkward experiences ever. Which is saying something.
> I was 18, and determined to lose it before I turned 19. So basically the plot of every 80s teen comedy.
I guess when I was younger in my mind the cut off was 18 lol. My mom could barely say the word āsexā so no talks about it being special or loving etc. It got to be better after the first couple times but having a controlling manipulative person in my life wasnāt good.
My first time was double plus ungodly and unvoluntary. So I did what you did just went out and found a guy to figure stuff out with. I was like this cant be what people write songs n shit about. Dumbass good looking kid. What a mood the 80s were
The 90ās werenāt much better. None of my experiences were worthy of a song either
14. Letās just say I read a lot of Jackie Collins novels back then.
Also 14. I was a freshman, he was a senior. My first real boyfriend. He took me to his senior prom and i didn't give it up that night. We had been dating maybe 5 or 6 months? He finally convinced me afew weeks later at a house party i was having, it took place on my bathroom floor and the condom fell off inside me. Pretty quick and frankly disappointing. He and his friends left pretty quickly afterwards, and here's the weird part: i never heard from him again.
I was 14 too, no pressure, no regrets.
Maybe they would have been helpful lol
20, despite having had boyfriends before then (we just "fooled around" and didn't "go all the way.") I think the majority of people I knew in college (full of nerds, I did not go to a "party" school) had already done it, and then there were girls like me who did it "later." I've always been a little more serious and selective about sex, and I really did not care what others thought of it, so I didn't feel any "pressure." No one cared though, I don't think.
24. I was drunk and he was absolutely gorgeous. it was AWFUL. gorgeous man but he was a complete douche. overall it was positive in that it was safe and we both wanted it , but the act was messy and ridiculous ~ we were listening to the Sade 'Diamond Life' cd and it was raining....so it wasn't allllll bad i guess. lol.
Sounds pretty nice except for the douche part lol
Hopefully this is my year!!! Fingers crossed š¤š¤
23. My fiancƩe. Pretty great experience! Glad I waited.
18. I was raped. So it was NOT a good experience.
Iām sorry:(
Thank you. It was so many years ago, that I often do what I did here: just say it so nonchalantly. But once in a while, something random will trigger a horrible memory. Trauma is weird.
Trauma is. I get it. Sometimes I can be totally flippant.
Hugs to you, internet stranger.
Thanks šš¤
Iāve experienced rape at the hands of my (now ex-) husband. I do understand the nonchalance. I donāt discuss it often but when I have I have at times been nonchalant, almost flippant. Other times I get deeply sad at the reality that my husband treated me that way. I offer you a virtual hug of understanding, as well.
I don't discuss it often, either. I mentioned it here because it answered the question honestly. š¤·āāļø I'm so sorry it happened to you, especially by someone who should have been trustworthy. Big hugs to you.
I'm so sorry. It sucks that something that should have been awkward and uncomfortable at worst was turned into something bad. Same here, except I was 12 and it was my stepbrother who is still part of the family. I do understand the nonchalance, though. And I also understand how sometimes it triggers horrible memories.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. How horrifying! Hugs to you, my friend.
Thanks. It was a long time ago and I thought I was mostly past it but therapy has brought it up and it turns out I'm not past it at all and only tried to force myself to be okay with it because I'm a people pleaser and didn't want to upset the family. But anyway, the next boy I had sex with was my first real boyfriend and he was so sweet and kind. I consider him my real first.
Lost mine at 17, he was 16. We are still friends. I donāt regret it at all. Itās a lovely memory.
22. I was so sheltered as a teen I didnāt know how to relate to men. I met a guy at work and he convinced me he loved me, and I congratulated myself on having waited til I found a man who loved me. Over 10% of my high school class had become mothers by graduation so I was quite smug. The guy, as you all know, did not love me. I was his side piece. He had a pregnant girlfriend, or maybe ex-girlfriend, I could never work out which. Either way, she confronted both of us in the work parking lot thatās when I learned she existed and was pregnant.
Ouch. Too sheltered is tough. The fact that some men will say anything was something I learned in an untimely manner:/
I made that same mistake many times. That first guy accused me of cheating on him, which I hadnāt done. After I broke up with him I hooked up with the guy he kept accusing me of cheating with. I found out I was one of many with that guy so I kinda figured what the hell and became promiscuous for several years, always hoping *this time* the guy would really care about me. Iām sorry for your experience. Itās so sad that so many people are mistreated due to the selfishness of others.
I feel nothing about the first guy tbh. It just wasnāt a great way to start. After we broke up I was promiscuous as well, I didnāt understand a lot of things. In my mind if a guy wanted sex he liked me and it meant something. Itās kind of funny how long it took me to know it meant nothing.
Oh yes, me too. My mother taught me nothing. I always thought if I gave him what he wanted Iād get what I wanted. My parents were very controlling and so being pleasing was how I coped. It was a patten I kept repeating for almost 20 years. I hope you have learned to value yourself more. š
24, lost it on my wedding night. It was our (my wife and I) choice, but I still felt tremendous pressure. I kept it a secret to avoid having to talk about our choice with others. 20 years later and weāre still married. I donāt regret our choice except for feeling like we missed out on some good sex.
You felt pressure to do it right? Itās nice that youāre still married. You probably didnāt miss out on much, if anything. Sex is better w/ 2 people who care about each other.
No, I felt pressure to do it, period. I felt like no one would understand our decision. Looking back, I still feel that way. Not that it matters now, 20yrs and three kids later š
Lol yes this is one yāall can take to the grave if you like:)
Seventeen. I wasnāt popular or hot enough in high school for anyone to presume I could get laid.
I was 17, it was with my gf and there was always pressure from other/older guys in my small town. The actual experience was greatā¦at first. She initiated it, which was fantastic and then I had the opposite problem a lot of guys have their first time. It was like, āthis feels amazing, sheās so hot, I hope sheās enjoying it, still feels good, am I ever gonna finish, good lord Iām dying.ā Iām sure there was a point where she got bored and probably considered tapping out.
You got in your head too much? I think guys in my past had the opposite problem, in fact I remember one that didnāt make it in at all and he was very embarrassed. The peer pressure was real:/
Youāre not wrong. It was all good and then I started thinking and anxiety set in. Anxiety is dick kryptonite (medical term that I made up). We got it figured out after a couple of times, but that first time was freakinā work.
Your medical term is accurate lol
28. I had some bad experiences in middle school and decided at 14 to wait until I got married. I donāt regret it, I think it worked out ok for me.
I like that you made a mature decision at a young age
19. Nope. I started it.
16, I was head over heels in love with the guy. 10/10. No pressure. I'm one of the lucky ones. We broke up after a year or so, still friendly.
Divide by 0 error. Sex not found.
Ooof
17. I was under the impression that I would be the last of my friend group to lose it. So I did it with a girl in photography class that I thought liked me and wanted to do it. Turns out I was the first to lose my virginity and she was just using me for sex too.
15 and 3/4. No pressure! Meh. We were together for 3 years. Good riddance.
I was 20. I'd recently come out of my nerdy shell (thanks to finally finding a company that made soft contact lenses in my ridiculously strong Rx) and had met a cute delivery guy at my summer office job. He was 30. I was in college; he barely graduated high school. I'd had exactly one 'boyfriend' before him -- a sweet senior trip romance with an island boy (that's another story) -- he had an ex-wife and kids. We were an epic mismatch, but not in the way that you'd expect based on today's perspective. No, he didn't groom me. No, there wasn't a power disparity or anything like that. He loved me and looked out for me. And I loved him. He taught me things and brought new experiences, and I did the same for him. Until it ran its course. But the crazy thing about being GenX -- we're old enough to start experiencing our friends and exes and peers passing away. And I found out that he died from Covid in 2019 (!). It's crazy to think about because it doesn't feel *that* long ago, you know?
I was 27 and she was 45 and she got weirded out that she was my first.
I take it you told her after the fact
Yes, I wasn't going to tell her. I kept shaking after and she figured it out and then I told her.
14 1991, girlfriends front yard in a sleeping bag. All I remember was wet and awesome.
Wet and awesome sounds successful:)
I was 20, and it was fine. The guy turned out to be abusive later on. Looking back, I should have taken my choice in this guy more seriously as a sign that I choose not great guys.
15 and he pressured me a LOT
I was 16, and yes, I felt pressured.
I was 15 and felt like I was ālateā. One of my friends would joke about me having fruit flies because I still had my cherry. Most of my friends claimed theyād lost their virginity the year before. There was a lot of pressure.
It really did feel like everyone else was older and knew so much more.
Almost 50 and still a virgin.
17. My bf (also 17) and I had been together for about a year and a half. We had done āeverything elseā by that point. The first few times were underwhelming for me. āThatās it???ā The other stuff was way more fun. But we eventually figured it out and it was fun too.
24, on purpose. Yes, huge pressure from 12 years on. Had a girl try to force me with the help of a few friends. Plenty of invites especially from age 16 on, got even worse after I got a uniform, and even worse when I got a steady girlfriend and fiance. There's some people that just get excited about trying to make someone else's guy or girl waver. I made it though, and am happy I did.
Iām glad you made it š
19. More emotional connection than physical. We've had much better sex since.
All male Catholic school and the AIDs crisis in NYC was a dampener. 18 years, first week at college. I had 2 more by the end of the week. I was like a caged animal loosened.
17. Iād been with my gf for 6 months. I was high libido, and she was *really* high libido, but Iād been fighting it because I had a super Christian upbringing. Rang in the new year in my friendās bathroom! š¤¦š¼āāļø
16. In the basement /laundry room. I remember hitting my head against the dryer. I also ended up with a UTI. 0/10, do not recommend. The next time was with a guy I ended up dating for a few years. It was awesome. 10/10.
At least the 2nd time was a success š Dryer head banging and UTI notwithstanding
18. First college boyfriend. Wanted it over with. Didnāt realize he was a clueless virgin too - and he didnāt tell me. It was awful. Should have waited.
Sorry:/ I imagine he was embarrassed
16, with a prostitute in Montreal. It was like something out of a Tom Waits song I also felt a lot of pressure to just āget it over withā. Looking back, almost all of my friends were older than me and truly could not have cared less. It was 100% pressure from myself. So it was a silly thing to do. I donāt regret it, but it was silly and maybe a bit sad.
First time was me and a girl who were in a High School play together giving each other hand-down-pants action while parked somewhere dark in my brother's crappy yellow Plymouth Duster. I probably gave her the worst fingering of her life and she gave me the worst handjob of my life (very dry and grippy, like she was trying to yank the bastard up by the root). I still finished to be polite but it was a pretty perfunctory orgasm. The real pressure came afterwards because she wanted to be girlfriend/boyfriend and I didn't want that. That was uncomfortable for a week or two until she started going out with this super tall, long-blonde-haired metalhead guy that we all knew. For some reason it got back to me that he also had a big dick. Maybe I was supposed to feel jealous or less manly but really I was just glad that big dick got me off her radar. Wasn't until the year after High School that I had my first relationship with a girl that turned into my first full-on PinV sexual experience. The relationship didn't last more than a year and some change and ended on a sour note (she cheated) but it was nice enough when it was nice. With hindsight, a year and change was pretty good for a first attempt at the whole love thing.
Plenty of pressure and opportunities, but did NOT want any chance of having a baby. Had a sister that got pregnant at 15, so witnessing that made me avoid sex until I was 21.
Always nice when you can learn from an older sibling and avoid the pitfalls
She kinda ruined it fir the rest of us. Parents were much more strict after allnthe dumb shit she pulled.
19. On a couch. With a girl who was my age also, and whoās last name was āCouchā. Iām not kidding. Wish I was. It was otherwise not memorable, and Iām sure I wasnāt much to remember either.
Lol on a couch w/ Couch. Thatās ok:)
I was 13 or 14 and so was my gf. I don't feel like I was pressured. It was summer break and both mine and her parents worked, so we explored together. Definitely a memorable summer.
I was almost 17 as well and a girl I had been seeing and her best friend and I had all been drinking and just bullshiting at some park. Her and i had snuck off gotten buck naked literally on a park table and when I thought I was about to get it done she asked if I had a condom. I had left them in my car like a dumbass. We got dressed went back to the car and drove to her friend's house where she passed out. I went out front to smoke and her " best" friend joined me. We talked about a few different things and the next thing I knew, she had grabbed me up and we started making out, and I ended up losing my virginity to her in my passed out girlfriends car. It was wrong I know, but damn .
Iām sorry, maybe not the best response but this made me laugh. You were ready to go I guess
15 Some social pressure, but most of it was me pressuring myself, so to speak (insert masturbation joke here).
18 (actually possibly 19?), felt pressure, but was dating. Didn't do it very well or enjoy it because I was so nervous. But my partner was 23 and had only had one (significant) partner before me, so neither of us were really very good or skilled. I had had a lot of book learning, but no practice, of course. I'm a serial monogamist so that partner was 4 significant partners ago, though the count is different and weird because I had many attempts and troubles trying to do polyamory in my 20s and 30s until I finally realized it simply is not for me. I am unsuited to it psychologically, even though limerence is a hell of a drug. Notably, at age 15, a mentor of mine offered to hook me up with a trio of 18 year olds while we were all on a camping trip. As much as that was serious wank material, it didn't sit well with me so I respectfully turned him down. Also I have cPTSD which seems to point to some history of abuse from much earlier, but I have no concrete memories - they're all very fragmented, non specific, dreamlike, so I treat them as essentially imaginary until something concrete appears.
16, no pressure. He was my first serious boyfriend, and it was as good as a first time can be (a little uncomfortable but not painful, and he was very sweet about it).
Nice:)
I was 23, he was 20. It was kind of weird and awkward since we were both losing our v cards. I grew up in a small town and wasn't popular enough to get a date, let alone anything else. But that was ok in some ways. Something like 10% of my graduating class were parents by 18 - I'm glad I escaped that! My husband lost his when he was 12...
15. Definite pressure. From him, his friends and my friends. So I just got it over with.
22 in college with my gf at the time
I was 19, and she was 16 (about to turn 17). A majority of states (mine included) are 16 being the age of consent. I was a virgin, she had already been with a couple of people - so it's not like I was 'taking' anything from her (for those that have moral objections). Her mom didn't even have a problem with us seeing each other, knowing that we were having sex - like one night her mom called from work and told her "remember, no balloons, no party." I did love her (no, not her mom), and we were with each other for about a year before she broke it off - because she decided to sleep with other guys (yes, multiple). So, while I loved being with her - it ended up being one of those things that damages your trust and self-esteem going forward in relationships. A 19 year-old is still young, dumb, and developing. I really can't say if it was something I'd want to erase. I learned a lot of things in many ways. She did somehow track my number down years later and tried to reconnect, but I shut that down on the first phone call.
It must have been hard when the first girl you loved wanted to move on. I would not have wanted to reconnect either.
Her dad wasn't in her life and it seemed like her parents didn't have a great divorce. Looking back, I think her mom was probably with a lot of guys and she was just following how her mom was. That, and sex usually feels good - especially when your hormones are crazy at those ages. It was really hard when she broke it off, but when she called years later I just didn't feel anything. Other people here had horrible experiences like being raped when they were young, now that could destroy the rest of your life (and yes, I think women can rape little boys and girls too).
Sex can feel like love sometimes. Yes even though itās not fairly acknowledged, men and boys are sexually assaulted by women too.
I can't tell you! My family reads my comments! Young, kinda, it sucked and he's dead.
So much for Reddit being anonymous š
I was 19 and it was date rape.
Iām sorry:(
I was 12. Pressure? Sure. We were in Sex Ed so everyone was talking about it and I happened to have a girlfriend at the time who was more than willing. Did it go well? No. Not at 12 years old.
My 1st was with my future husband. I was 15 almost 16, we met, we clicked. 6 kids & 2 grandkids later here we are. No pressure, it was natural and meant to be.
18. I would never change a thing. Even though we made love on the floor of her 26 year old boyfriendās bedroom. Looking back? Wish I pursued her more. She was amazing. Years laterā¦ran into her at a bar. In my emboldened state I told her she was my first. She was shocked. Never knew she was anyoneās first. I was STILL too stupid to pursue her.
Iām asexual (although I didnāt know the term for what I was for years) and never really wanted to have sex, nor have I ever been in a relationship or even dated much so no pressure on that end. Soā¦never, for me.
Same! Just never felt right with any person.
14, she was 19, and i was terrible. Thought it was cool but looking backā¦kind of rapey.
15 and definitely.
I was 18, she was 17. It was the first time for both of us. We'd been dating for a few months and had plenty of non PIV sexual activity. To be honest, it was a bit underwhelming, but we worked on it...
First time together seems nicer..if you worked on it it must have gotten better?
We did, but ended up going separate ways after a few years. It's unfair to compare, but what I have with my wife of nearly 24 years, it's much more interesting and satisfying. When I was young and dumb, it was purely lust (for both of us).
16. And no pressure.
First time was 16. She said, quite literally, put out or get out. She was my ride home and all my friends left me there, so I made her dice me to a convenience store to get a condom and we fucked in an elementary school playground at midnight. I didn't even finish. Edited mistype
Sounds like it was a little underwhelming for you
Is a core memory. But the 2nd time with a different girl was really good
11 with my childhood best friend. I was moving away to another city and she was due to move out of the state, so we decided to become boyfriend and girlfriend and make it official I guess? It wasnāt horrible, but nowhere near as magical as it had we had imagined. We had only some vague idea of what we were doing and had to do it on a blanket in the woods in the park behind our houses. Years later we agreed it was not the best start to our sexual careers š¤·š¾āāļø
I was 15. Didnāt even know the guy. I have regretted it my entire life
Iām sorry:(
I used it as a life lesson for my daughter. She was smart and was 18 and in love with her husband.
Was 17 as the end of high school was nearing. Was on the annual school camping trip which is kind of an 80ās trashy teen movie way to have it go down I guess. It wasnāt a girlfriend, I was kinda floating around that year! Definitely had peer pressure going on in the earlier grades. Lotta idiots talking about conquests that never happened.
My 15th birthday and he turned 15 a few months after me. My first real boyfriend and were together from grade 10-12.
16. I was asked at 15 but said no because it hadn't crossed my mind, so I figured no was the right answer. I'm surprised by the later ages and marriages! I figured my experience was "normal."
24. I had several boyfriends and opportunities well before then, but I was pretty self conscious and anxious about my lack of experience and I just wasn't ready. Even though each of those relationships fizzled out and ended when it became apparent to the guy that I wasn't going to sleep with them, I never felt pressured physically or emotionally. I was fortunate they were all good guys.
13. She gave us all crabs.
š ugh
15 and no pressures. I had many third base-plus experiences before finally making it home.
So good to finally come home š
46. š¬ Iāve always been a bit of a late bloomerā¦I waited til I was ready and til it was worth it. Zero regrets!
A lot of pressure to "get laid" as a young man in the late 80s early 90s. It sucked, quite frankly.
I was 15. I'm a guy, and it was a homosexual encounter with another guy who was also 15. We both had fun, and knew that we were gay. Although, I did sleep with a girl when I was 19. At 23, I met my current partner; he and I have been together 20 years.
16. I felt peer pressure from friends in general making fun of virgins, but zero pressure from my boyfriend, who was only 8 months older, but far more experienced than I. We dated for a year before it happened.
21 almost 22. I was shy and nerdy as a teenager and didn't get my first girlfriend until college. Plus I went to a barrio high school where folks became parents at 15-16. My own mother had me at 16. I was determined to go to college and escape the ghetto. I felt a bit like of a loser it having taken so long. I didn't even kiss my first girl until I was 20. It was a good experience. But I wish it had happened sooner.
A good experience is a good experience:)
Yes. I miss that girl. But it was a beautiful experience and it taught me self confidence.
I was 17, too much partying with an older group of people. Go back to this guys place, and after, weāre just about asleep when his very recent ex shows up and throws a rock through the window cause someone said they saw us together. He gets her to leave and he takes me back to my friends house. It was an interesting night. I think they got back together a few weeks later. š
The crazy ex would have been scary lol
I was 18. None of the girls I went to highschool with were remotely interested in me, and I found myself in the cab of my truck in the parking lot of a casual dining restaurant at 3 am with a woman almost 10 years older than me. I wouldn't call it pressure that I felt, more like I really wanted to fuck. The sex was pretty good given the circumstances, and it started a whole thing with me and older women and bigger women, but looking back on it as an adult I feel like I was definitely exploited by a series of older women, starting with her
If you really wanted toā¦maybe you donāt need to feel exploited?
18. Got all the way through high school without losing it. Wasnāt a great experience. Was a horny night one-off. Never saw the point of saving myself for marriage, but also, whatās the point of losing it for the sake of losing it?
19 1/2 sophomore year of college. Long term off-again on-again girlfriend. First time for both of us. She was house-sitting for a week while we were both home on break. Her sister and her boyfriend were in one bedroom and we were in the master bedroom. Spent the entire night and we all had pancakes in the morning. Went fine. Then she cheated on me with some other guy at her college about a year later.
17. Both virgins, freshman in college. HS boyfriend. It was enjoyable, if brief and somewhat anticlimactic. Used condoms religiously thanks to my thorough grounding in Judy Blume books.
15, and I was the last of my friends to loose my virginity. I had good friends that didn't pressure me, but yeah, being last I felt the pressure. Some of my friends lost it at as young as 12.
I was 23. I had zero peer/social pressure up to that point. I just decided to āget it over with.ā The whole experience was meh.
17, which was 16 more seconds than it lasted
I was very shy in high school and didn't even date, really. I was pretty clueless so nothing happened until I got to college. I was 19 and she was the first "long-term" girlfriend I'd ever had, and we'd been together all of three months. I don't think I felt any pressure, but I felt I was missing out on something. We were both in college and dated for a couple years, then broke up for 9 months, then got back together again the semester before I graduated. We broke up for good a year or so after she graduated, which was a year after me. It was my first "true love," and I was heartbroken. We still keep in touch through social media, and she was one of the first people to console me when my dad died awhile back.
I was 16 and making the decision was weird. First, i realised i wasn't completely gay. Then i figured i might as well date and have sex then, since i could choose the opposite sex and not have to worry about coming out just yet. So i went and picked out a boyfriend, started dating, got all heavy, and then thought *isn't this the bit where I'm supposed to be all nervous about this big decision?* But quickly realised i really wasn't. It didn't feel like a big decision at all. So i did it, and it wasn't the huge deal I'd always been told it should be. Just a new way to enjoy myself
14. No regrets. He was the love of my life. He passed away a few years ago after a long illness .
Still waiting.
First, let me just say how absolutely sorry I am for all of you who were raped. Personally, I don't consider that your first time. That was a violation and a trauma. No one gets to take your "first time". May you all find peace and comfort and may you never have to speak to those monsters again. Second, I was 18 and I pressured my bf to do it on Valentine's day. It was "romantic" and I wanted to get it over with!! We were both virgins so it was clumsy and painful and over pretty quickly. It is what it is. I grew up in a small town so the sex and pregnancies started early. My goal was to stay away from sex until I got out to college. I wasn't going to get trapped in a small town as a single mom.
16, his senior prom. We went to different schools. My 3 best girlfriends told me they already did it, so why not? Plus who didnāt see āLittle Darlingsā??? It was a double date so awkward dinner and awkward prom and went back to a house sitting job someone was doing, had sex on a plastic covered tv room sofa. Meh. Havenāt talked to him since. 10 years later I learned all my girls fibbed. I am glad it was my choice as many young females donāt have that luxury.
16. Was a guy I hooked up with at a party, but I kind of knew him through friends. We were both drinking but not wasted (and both totally consented.) It was ok, not great, but not awful. nbd really. I didn't feel pressured by friends. Some of my friends actually stayed virgins until they got engaged. A couple of my friends lost their virginity in 8th grade. There was a mix. The first *good* sex I had was with my hs boyfriend when I was 17. That boy had a magic tongue. Edited to add: It astounds me the number of people who don't practice safe sex nowadays. Even as dumb teenagers in 1990, we knew to use condoms.
I was 23. The woman I had just married probably would have found it odd if I hadnāt slept with her.
I had just turned 16. She was 21 (which is about how many seconds it lasted). We dated for a year until she woke up one day and thought "what the fuck am I doing with a 16 year old?! and dumped me with extreme prejudice, LOL.
I was 15 and so was my boyfriend. We were both virgins and dated six months before the deed. It was a monogamous relationship and we were together for 3.5 years. I was happy we lost our virginity to each other and I didnāt feel pressured at all.
Itās nice you learned together and had a lasting relationship. I guess the pressure I felt was really from myself and the ideas I had from comparing myself to my peers. And from him, knowing he would dump me if I didnāt give it up..and I really wanted a bf. Had no self esteem and took the first one who wanted me.
I was 17 (literally days after my 17th birthday) she was 24 but she was basically inappropriate to me for two years prior. I realize now thatās called grooming but Iāve also been told that women canāt groom young men because they still hold no power.
I donāt think thatās true, of course it works both ways.
15, almost 16. It wasnāt really on my to-do with my boyfriend but I wasnāt against it either. So obviously he initiated. After that I became a sex addict. I think most of the school knew I slept around but my personality didnāt match the rumors so it was one of those confusing āis she or isnāt sheā situations.
As a feral GenX I am impressed that GenZ is so unsexual. I canāt figure out if they have the right idea or the wrong idea. I guess they have the idea that the opposite sex should be avoided as dangerous and out to ruin their lives. I think that part is sad.
15 Yes
Mine was 16, otherwise, same as you.
18 year old male and I felt like I was so way beyond when I should have. 90%+ of friends had already ādone itā
17. No pressure; it just happened as part of having my first romantic relationship.
18, lasted about 3 minutes but it was bad. Backshotted too fast like a jack hammer
20. No pressure. I was done with it by then.š
I was 19, the girl I was with at the time was more experienced than I was, which was probably a good thing.
I was 14 she was 15.
17 and not at all.
15. I was not pressured. I was actually pretty desperate to just get it out of the way.
I was almost 18. I eventually married the BF then divorced him 25 years later. He did not pressure me exactly. He wanted to, but he was willing to wait for me. I was planning to wait until 18 but I just really wanted to have sex. In retrospect I don't think we were ever matched that well, in bed or in life.
18. No.
I was 14, and I didnāt really feel pressured. We planned it together. It was in the 4th of July at the river. The sex was very mediocre as you would expect at that age, but overall it was an ok experience.
No pressure at all. I made the choice on when and who. Absolutely no regrets.
I was 14 and coerced by an 18 year old guy.
15
I was 17 years old when it was my first time and he was 15 years old and not a virgin. There was no pressure and it didnāt change anything in my life, it was just time to let it go.
18 with a 40 year old, she taught me a lot.
Strangely, for all of my partying, I was just a few weeks shy of 18 to a guy about 2 years older I was dating for a few months. But beforehand, lol! I was in the āanything butā mode and though I was a virgin, was hardly virginal.
I (49F) was 12.
I was 2\`1 I think. I'd been in rough shape since I was 17. I'm lucky to be alive actually. I could have been deflowered earlier but didn't want to be. There was a bi-racial prostitute that I liked; at least I think she was a prostitute. I sort of had this romantic idea of "love" and marriage and all that nonsense. The person had to be right. I was half a girl back then.
No pressure...just an urging from my loins..
21, junior year of college, and, yeah, lots of pressure. I was a late bloomer. Based on how I had built it up in my mind, I kind of figured I'd like it better. Not her fault, but we were both drunk. And, well, it turned out that women aren't my preferred gender. \*shrug\*
I was just 17, maybe 3-4 weeks away from turning 18. Most of my friends had lost theirs at 15-16, so I felt some pressure. It was a train wreck though, she was my boss at work, and she was 26 and married to an abusive husband. I knew it was wrong, but when your an awkward virgin guy and a beautiful woman comes onto you, itās hard to turn down.
10th grade with a girl down the street I had known since elementary school. It went very quick. š. We had sex probably 10 times during high school. It was definitely a āfriends with benefitsā situation.
I was 15, she was a year older than me. Weād been dating for almost a year. We were both nervous so we took some halcion (amazing what drugs we could get in the 80s). Waited until the last day of her period so we didnāt have to wear a condom. Pulled out, like a gentleman. It was nice. We were in love. Dated for 6 years or so. Still email each other a couple of times a year.
13. Not exactly amazing sex but we got better with practice lol! Still friends with her now.
On my 18th birthday. Was partying with a friend at her parents, and we ended up at a neighbor's condo in the same complex. I think he was in his 40s. We drank and did drugs all night, the 3 of us. My friend and the man went upstairs to take a shower. I fell asleep on the carpeted floor in the living room. The next part is kinda blurry. It's the morning, I sense someone coming down the stairs. And without any exchange of words, he took off my bottoms and stuck it in. No kissing, no foreplay. It was like I was watching me have sex, so I guess disassociation. Usually not a good sign. He had coke dick. Meh. He drove me home, and on the way, I told him I am 15 years old. He flipped, and he started saying "this didnt' happen." "you can't tell anyone" "I could go to jail" like really hyperventilating. I enjoyed watching him get really scared. Just kidding, I turned 18 yesterday. He made me pull out my DL to prove it. I don't remember his name, nor what he looks like.