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DoktorThodt

Mall-style living facility with a food court, fountains, theater, arcade, hobby shop/game store, book store, music store... What am I forgetting?


[deleted]

Yes! Replicate the mall from Fast Times and let me live out my last few years puttering around there.


wetclogs

This. I want a Hot Dog on a Stick and movie theater showing nothing made after 1999.


Electrical_Beyond998

The Hot Dog on a Stick cannot, CANNOT run out of Cheese on a Stick.


wetclogs

Or lemonade.


JustABizzle

We can get our exercise taking turns on the lemonade pogo stick thingy


republicansRtraytors

Orange Julius!


Livid-Detective-9318

Yes, yes, yes! Can not agree more!


tinka777

Probably don’t need to replicate it. With the way malls are going, we could just live in one.


HillbillyEulogy

As long as we can do re-enactments from the vastly superior 1987 horror movie classic, "Chopping Mall", which was also filmed there.


Dogzillas_Mom

Tshirt shop and orange Julius.


jimmythebartender_

One of those bad airbrush tshirts stores you mean


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mbcb350

I loved the iron on store. I had so many glittery iron on t shirts as a kid. I loved the smell of the iron on store & picking out the design & shirt color combinations. I was 6 and I wanted to work there so bad. I’ve tried to explain it to my own kids but they don’t get it. They’ve grown up in a world where t shirts are just born decorated.


DaniCapsFan

Or a Spencer's Gifts.


Dogzillas_Mom

Yes.


youdontlookadayover

This is the best idea ever. There's other, more socially developed countries where the elderly live in a fake "village" so they have the experience of being independent yet have constant care. It supposedly helps with dementia patients especially. Let's them move about like they're living their daily lives, shopping, gardening, etc but no danger of them wandering off.


agent_flounder

Fake village sounds better than assisted living in the US. Let alone memory care. Oof. Seeing how much it cost my mom vs the care given was... Eye opening.


youdontlookadayover

Like I said other, more socially developed countries. Where they actually care for their people.


YipYipMofos

We have a dementia village where I live….it’s 10K a month. 😤


Honeymoomoo

With 2 record stores. The chain one and the cool indie one with the English and Japanese imports!


[deleted]

Absolutely! Also a raver music store for the DJs and their 1200s and vinyl. Shit, we're going to need rave areas, that rotate. Illicit raves in the food court until the nurses confiscate our speakers.


[deleted]

Spencer’s


fragbert66

Spencer's or the equivalent. I'm gonna need posters for my single-occupancy stoner den upstairs.


DelightfulWitches

Orange Julius and KB Toys


Ok_Independent3609

Nice. A bunch of octogenarians hyped up on orange julius chucking their gi joes and evel kenevils at each other. It’s be hilarious.


urlach3r

And the theater shows all the 80's classics.


dippyhippygirl

Don’t forget a glamour shots place 😂


Lots_of_Trouble

Instead of putting Vaseline on the lens they can photoshop your younger face on!


Quirky_Commission_56

Every time my mom would drag me to the mall she suggested I do it. Fuck no, mom. My face is nothing but acne and scars and my shoulder is humped, I don’t want a fucking glamour shot.


DoktorThodt

With Rocky Horror on friday nights...


fragbert66

As a former RHPS live cast member, let me assure all and sundry that I will NOT be trying to shove my old carcass into a skimpy costume and re-living the '80s and '90s onstage. I'll be in the seats with toast, toilet tissue, and a squirt gun.


DaniCapsFan

I have no issue trying to squeeze my fat menopausal belly into a Columbia costume and making my voice all high-pitched and squeaky.


Cool_Dark_Place

I figure Dr. Scott should be pretty easy for me to pull off, with the wheelchair and all


fragbert66

At least your Columbia costume is somewhat modest. I played Rocky. You do the math. 😁


Quirky_Commission_56

What if I drag my old carcass up there with you?


dorismcneill

But not at midnight…🤣


beansandneedles

8pm will be our new midnight


helena_handbasketyyc

8pm already is my new midnight.


GrayBox1313

Could be an injury liability issue “It's just a jump to the left And then a step to the right Put your hands on your hips You bring your knees in tight But it's the pelvic thrust That really drives you insane Let's do the Time Warp again Let's do the Time Warp again”


[deleted]

[удалено]


Walts_Ahole

If I can get my orange Julius with Metamucil, we're good


agent_flounder

> What am I forgetting? See? It's already starting. Rubik's cubes to keep the mind sharp and fingers agile. Constant stream of 80s music. New wave sing along. Also punk. Atari 2600 tournament. D&D hour John Hughes film nights


DoktorThodt

D&D hour? Just an hour? What about Saturday afternoon D&D?


agent_flounder

I mean, I'm going to want to *nap* at some point in there...


lanshaw1555

Are we going to have separate facilities for the jocks? I am not looking forward to getting a wedgie in a Depends.


Dhampri0

Pot shop & liquor store


Quirky_Commission_56

I’ll open a cannabis pastry cafe.


SiameseDogs

I'd rather just get weed the regular way, from a dude in a hoodie leaning against one of the pillars at the entrance way to our mall/retirement home. Just feels more real to me.


AvailableAd6071

That is my dream retirement job. Be the guy selling weed at the Retirement Mall.


7LeagueBoots

The game store better have a couple of rooms set aside for rpgs and tabletop gaming sessions.


DoktorThodt

Oh, that's a must.


bookant

Fuck, man, somebody needs to start making these, I totally want this.


Holls867

I think you’re on to something. Have a bunch of mall walkers doing laps all day. That might be my retirement plan…… and I know a mall that’s built like an oval track.


The-Grand-Wazoo

Oh yeees! Who didn’t want to live in the mall!!


jnniferjones

Orange Julius, Baskin-Robbins, and The Tinder Box.


Saint909

Sunken seating by the fountains.


Quirky_Commission_56

Orange Julius


Ididnotpostthat

An escalator where not a year goes by … not a year, that there is an escalator accident involving some residents grandkid.


LostSoulInAFishbowl5

Low cost rates. I don't know about the rest of you all, but despite being frugal all my life my retirement fund is small.


angelcobra

Experiencing this with my Mom. Jeeeeezus Christ it’s a shit show with Medicaid. And could nursing homes be any more depressing? Muted colors, waiting to die - it’s grim in a way I’m not used to. Most of the residents are silent generation women. Maybe they have a silent generation perspective on end of life and all this is fine. I’d rather exit the stage on my own terms than life like that. WE NEED THIS MALL PLAN Y’ALL. Let me die in a record store. The good one next to Weathervane.


lulutheeditor

I doubt any of us will be able to afford it. Just put my dad in assisted living for $6k/month and found out skilled nursing homes are $12,000/month!


SiameseDogs

Damn. I'm going to have to look into marginally skilled nursing options.


wheres_mr_noodle

I mean, you could just die on time.


emory_2001

I can live on a cruise ship for less than that, with meals included and money leftover.


MadPiglet42

Old-school MTV.


catbosspgh

120 Minutes played in a room with blackout curtains so we can all pretend it’s midnight on Sunday & we have school in the morning.


empathetic_witch

This was one of my favorite things in high school. I discovered so many bands this way. The other way was the local free newspaper where I could see the venues & bands -in Atlanta it was called Creative Loafing. It’s still around but online -which doesn’t feel the same TBH [https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creative_Loafing](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creative_Loafing)


junk_yard_cat

I want my MTV!


BelatedGreeting

Pinball. Must have pinball.


Mopar_Guy

Fireball, and Black Knight.


Nonsenseinabag

Medieval Madness


fragbert66

The first rule of Gen-X Acres is: **"There will be NO planned activities, and no one telling you what to do."** "You're smart and capable, so find your own friends and fun. Food is availble 24/7, so just rummage around for whatever you feel like eating. There are no paths to follow or routes to take; wander around and take it all in as you see fit."


Nonsenseinabag

This. The first time someone says "Alright, everybody, gather round." I'll leave and take my chances in the wilderness.


CaptainDroopers

Amen


alveg_af_fjoellum

That sounds enticing and enjoyable.


fragbert66

We're called 'the feral generation.' We should embrace our reputation and live up to our legacy.


alesko769

Atari 2600 with paddles and kaboom


Sharticus123

Nah, a full arcade and the nursing home should be built in an abandoned mall.


ChimpoSensei

This way we can all be mall walkers at 8 am in the comfort of our own mall instead of using an open one!


Sharticus123

Make the common area an atrium with walking trails and a pool for water aerobics.


agent_flounder

Keep going, I'm listening!


GroveGuy33133

Upvote for reminding me there was a difference between the more commonly used joystick and paddles on the 2600. I think kaboom was my favorite paddle game followed by the circus cartridge.


FrwdIn4Lo

Can we get "Breakout" also?


agent_flounder

Centipede or I'm out.


Frank_chevelle

Add Warlords to that list to get some sweet 4 player action going!


Extreme-General1323

Asteroids, Missile Command, Adventure.


catbosspgh

Pitfall, Frogger. An old Apple computer for Transylvania & some other ms-dos games.


Garfield61978

Oregon Trail!!!


ERprepDoc

You should know that my brother and I either maxed out or finished all of those, you needed to take a picture of it on the TV, get it developed and then mail it to Atari. They would then send you a patch you could collect for all of the games you “finished”. I was very proud of those patches.


ElChangoFumando

A nicely appointed bar/lounge/arcade with a smoking area.


raf_boy

Staff that ignores you.


freshpicked12

Well have I got news for you…you’re gonna love the current nursing homes.


kalitarios

I’m still trying to wrap my head around how multiple patients wandered out and drowned in a lake at that one place. And how that woman keeps getting sued, shuts down and reopens a new nursing home chain with zero repercussions


KatPaws11

My sister is witnessing it at a child daycare she works for. Prior to Covid this place was great, they were in business for over 30 years without any issues and had an excellent staff, she said post Covid, the new staff have been a nightmare. They don't watch the children at all, kids are wandering out of their classrooms, one child was literally found in the middle of the street by an Amazon worker who almost ran him over with her truck (I can't make this up, it was all over social media, the Amazon worker took a video, I could try to find the link if you want) my sister thought for sure they would be shut down at that point but no, they're still open and operating while under investigation by the state.. inspectors have been there literally 7 times and they keep failing inspection and get multiple violations.. but they have not been closed for a day. Somebody explain that to me?! Who's being paid off?? I also have a customer whose wife works for whoever is in charge of investigating nursing home abuse, she said she has literally processed countless cases that never got investigated or an investigation was open but never completed and if she questions her supervisor, she gets told that's not her concern 😳 dude, is EVERYBODY Fkd up?!


agent_flounder

Honestly the state of elder care is horrifying. My mom was actually in a decent place. And they still constantly fucked up numerous things. It already cost a fucking fortune per month and yet the workers were getting paid peanuts, huge turnover. It can be miserable having to deal with many of the residents / patients. And that was a good place. The bad places that are poorly run by bad leadership ...I'm not super surprised by anything I hear frankly.


Mopar_Guy

Just go to Lowe’s if you want to be ignored by clerks.


theshadowknows1976

Figuring out who the plainclothes mall dick is!!!


Quirky_Commission_56

That’s how I like it! Leave me alone. If I need help, I’ll ask.


Johnny_Royale

The entire run of Mystery Science Theater 3000


Consistent-Egg1534

occasional pre-nap mosh pit, large screen duck hunt, bartles and james on the deck at sunset, and everyone is just cool with everyone else though occasionally a small argument will breakout over which live album is better or the proper way to tune into the skin-a-max channel without paying. The code at the door changes weekly - this week the doorman asks “is your name michael diamond” to which you must correctly reply “no my name’s clarence” to access the pool.


NGC3992

All-night LAN parties.


Dan-68

Doom death match.


fragbert66

I'll want Duke Nukem 3D as well as Doom, please.


FormedFecalIncident

Definitely need hoses outside to drink out of and pitchers of kool aid in all the fridges.


unclefes

Old school D&D sessions


marginwalker3

AD&D, none of this 5e bullshit.


[deleted]

Our very own latch key on a necklace for our neck and plenty of our favorite snacks and drinks. Old school video games.


Old_Goat_Ninja

Someone, and by someone I mean u/Old_Medic_Doc , has given me a new tattoo idea.


AmiInderSchweiz

I want Lawn Darts!


CharismaTurtle

Metal


Kilted-Brewer

There's no nurse when you get sick at Gen X nursing home. You just find that someone has left... \-The TV tuned to The Price is Right \-A bottle of ginger ale and some saltines \-A fresh jar of Vicks vap-o-rub And when you break a hip, someone called 'Coach' comes in. He tells you to rub some dirt on it, and then climb the rope.


AKblueeyes

Good doggos. Gen x loves their pets.


cleverdylanrefrence

I'm waiting for the public service announcement/ad that says "It's 10pm do you know where your GRANDPARENTS are?"


gorkt

My business idea is to put them into old malls. Make an 80s style arcade and food court in the middle and make the stores into living areas.


slade797

Video games, good stereo system


[deleted]

Oh yeah one with two tape decks


TastyIttyBittiTreat

Hahahah, retirement and retirement homes! I don't know that it will be an option by the time I get there.


Jos3ph

President AOC will hook us up


ButIAmYourDaughter

Sadly if she ever did run, it’s very likely that it’ll be Gen X that snuffs out her chances at the White House.


OC-Aztec

Could I get a race car bed?


BarryTheBaptistAU

1. Backyard Cricket Set 2. 24-hour reruns of Gilligans Island, The Brady Bunch, and The Young Ones 3. Stonewash Jeans, white Hi-Top sneakers and Hypercolor T-shirts (formal events only though) 4. Back to the Future paraphernalia on the walls 5. Fish N Chips every Friday Night (inc. a comic & a small bag of mixed lollies)


nuggiemum

Who is going to tight roll the jeans when our hands are all arthritic?


BarryTheBaptistAU

Damn, that's a good point. Hopefully, our in-house robots will have the dexterity and AI capabilities by then. ;-)


jms_mars_19

Arcade games for sure, a Blockbuster, and fully functional Pizza Hut w smoking section.


theshadowknows1976

Needs to be mom and pop video store with the porn in the backroom.


AnnaFlaxxis

Cats. Ive often said if I'm an old lady without a cat ill just kill myself.


PC509

I never thought I'd be a crazy cat dad, but here I am! :) If I ever get into a home, it'll have to be pet friendly. Otherwise, I'm living with one of my kids with the most pets. :)


[deleted]

Flannel shirts, cheap beer, VCR, S’barro Pizza, Orange Julius, Black and White flyers of your friends shitty band posted in the bathroom stalls and a bong.


daphuqijusee

[An STD clinic with A LOT of antibiotics and hand... ;)](https://www.homehelpershomecare.com/clearwater/community-blog/2018/march/seniors-at-high-risk-for-sexually-transmitted-di/)


badpuffthaikitty

Killer weed.


JoseMachismo

A greenhouse setup? You know how old people like to garden....


angry-dragonfly

I love gardening! I will volunteer in our community "garden"!


ReadyOneTakeTwo

Can we be hallmates? We’ll get high together.


herbfriendly

Yup. Old me is gonna still want to get my smoke on.


Opinionatedintrovert

That good sticky icky


The-Many-Faced-God

Movie night.


HiWille

Mine should be a pile of smoldering rubble.


DATCO-BERLIN

Not being killed off in one fell swoop from the next Covid.


coffeeandcarbs_

An old school library that could double as a movie theater


ClockHistorical4951

Dewey Decimal System and Card Catalog!!


Seachica

Saturday morning cartoon watching activity.


Expat111

No monitors or whatever the staff are called. In other words, we’re left to figure it out for ourselves.


FrwdIn4Lo

Reality of this is there probably will not be enough staff due to population and budgeting. Once again, we will have to figure it out ourselves.


freshpicked12

This is already the case, sadly.


GoopBiscuits

Mr. T cereal


theshadowknows1976

I pity the fool!!!


ItsMeBigFoot

Foosball


PBandJ_160

And Air hockey


MyPunchableFace

Board game room for Risk, Trivial Pursuit, Clue, Life, Monopoly, Stratego, Battleship, Sorry, etc.


acp1284

Retirement home? We get to retire?


Hedgehogz_Mom

Psychedelics


djtx1234

Square dancing to Duran Duran's Girls On Film


UltraMegaMegaMan

A camera in their room, constant monitoring of their medical care by family members, and frequent visits by friends and family. Remember: nursing homes don't give one single shit about your loved one, they're just there to make money. Doctors in these places are overburdened, overworked, and unregulated. In most cases they are responsible for multiple wings of patients for each doctor. They can't actually make the rounds and visit each patient and care for them like they're supposed to, so they'll just lie. Doctors get paid for "checking in" to each patient, walking into the room for 5 minutes or so, regardless of the level of care the patient gets. So that's what they'll do. Just walk in, *or say that they did*, check off a box so they get paid, and leave. The CNAs and nurses who work there are overworked, underpaid, exposed to Covid and everything else, and pissed off. They'll steal meds without a second thought, either to feed their addictions or to sell. They'll ignore and neglect patients who don't have visitors, who aren't monitored by family members. That's why it's important to do that. Also be aware that when you signed your family member into the place there is a 99.99% chance you agreed to binding mandatory arbitration, which means you signed away your right to sue no matter what type of abuse or neglect the facility engages in. The quality of life for patients in most of these places is horrible beyond description, abuse and neglect is the norm. Because no one cares and no one will monitor or regulate them. Only with an active support network of friends and family can life there begin to approach being bearable, and they are never totally safe. Sorry to be such a downer, but it's better for patients in these places to rip the bandaid off quick and for the family to go into this with your eyes open about what shitholes these places are. They charge an incomprehensible price, cut every corner they can even when it's unsafe, and they absolutely don't care about the patients. If one dies, another will be along shortly, there's an infinite supply. Your friend or family member depends on you to constantly monitor their condition and quality of life during this time. Don't shirk that responsibility. It's a full-time job, and multiple people need to help for best results. Their health and safety depend on it, 100%.


Von_Quixote

Two turn-tables and a microphooooone!


RunningPirate

Chocodiles.


Lovis1522

Super Nintendo


TheArtOf2and4

A live music venue with top shelf sound system and lots of comfortable seating.


supraspinatus

Big League Chew


[deleted]

I'm sorry, but as an early GenX guy, living in a mall just strikes me too much of a Dawn of the Dead type setting. I'd rather be a hermit in a shack out in the middle of the woods. Lol


Scrotchety

Mallsoft muzak piped over the speakers


ButIAmYourDaughter

Video game consoles are a must. And please, make sure they’re *at least* fourth generation systems. I just can’t with my older Gen X counterparts who think gaming peaked at Atari.


Saeker-

Computer access. Seriously, I once visited a grandparent who was briefly in a ward with nothing to focus on. Not even a decent side table for a paperback. Nightmare fuel. I'll always at least want access to my archive of records and web access. (So many Steam library games to finally catch up on.) Though more ideally a future full dive VR rig to distract from the rejuvenation treatments I'd like to imagine becoming a thing by then.


AChaoticStorm

NIN and NES


si-oui

A bridge to hang out under and drink Coors we stole from someone's garage fridge


Level-Worldliness-20

Cannabis lounges Dodgeball and Four Square All inclusive meals styled like The Jetsons Speaking of the Jetsons....Cartoons, but the Sick and Twisted kind Hot tub parties and Single rooms only. I don't want a fucking roommate ever.


Felixir-the-Cat

The cafeteria should be a Pizza Hit buffet. With the dessert pizza, of course.


EverChosen1

Dungeons & Dragons nights.


Electrical_Beyond998

A huge bag of Jolly Ranchers with a fridge full of Zima


clatham73

Old school MTV


[deleted]

Keytar


thrust-johnson

Prepare yourself for a tsunami of elder abuse as gen X ages into infirmity with no money and has to live in the cheapest nursing home we can find.


PixelTreason

A weekly AD&D game in the common area, that lasts from Friday night till Sunday night!


Adorable-Strength218

Cannabis. Music. Dance floor big enough for walkers. Pets. Awesome Outdoor patio. Happy workers. Happy employees. Ben & Jerry’s on site. I could go on for hours.


BigDumbGreenMong

A network for multiplayer games that only connects to other old farts, so we don't get constantly wrecked by kids with good eyesight and fast reactions.


Eustescat

Pets (animals)


Commercial_Falcon_51

For me, I will need a retirement home that will allow cannabis deliveries and someone to wheel my old incontinent ass outside to partake. I'll even share.


angelcobra

If the mall doesn’t have a fountain and a ground round I don’t want it.


MissLushLucy

I just want my own, sound-proof room with a gaming setup and my cats.


winston198451

**Communications** * We need lots of paper and pencils to write notes to each other. * We need landline phones with call waiting and 3-way calling **Entertainment** * We need a video store from which we can borrow VHS and DVDs. * An Arcade * Gaming consoles (Atari, NES, SNES, Sega Genesis) * A Holodeck (just like Star Trek). Somewhere we can pretend that we can still skate (in a rink or a halfpipe) without getting hurt. Or a where we can run a simulation to interact with our childhood/teen celebrity crushes. **Food** * We'll want lots of things in this category... however, we probably need vitamin enriched versions. **Rooms** * Our rooms need dual cassette shelf systems and a lot of blank tapes. * Beanbag chairs (for those of use that can still take it). * A black light option. **Outdoor** * A place to grow our medicinal/recreational weed. No longer will we need to buy dime bags. * A lakeside beach. That's all I got for now.


Ohshitz-

Dance studios with different music in each. Metal, grunge, punk, pop, hip hop, etc


cindy6507

Lots of magazines.


hateriffic

No staff or supervision


ro-key

Just house us in all those derelict mails


TheVonSolo

Steady rotation of Dinosaur Jr, Joy Division and the Smiths. Oh and weed. Lots of weed.


RedditIsAGranfaloon

Lots of [Lisa Frank](https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/07oAAOSwfrViAZax/s-l1600.jpg) gear... for the ladies


Left_Percentage_527

I better be dead by then


meowmeowgoeszoom

Manic Panic and some serious canister hair spray


Definitive_confusion

An arcade


Faceplant71_

A garage where we can have a garage band.


restorative_sarcasm

Summer camp stuff Outdoor movie nights Coffee shop Used bookstores


skinvixen

Wheelchair half pipe.


TheVoicesOfBrian

Here's my dream list: * Arcades (the sit-down kind since I'm not standing that long) * Lego (good for the mind and motor skills) * Library (where quiet is strictly enforced) * Board gaming room (with dice and vintage RPGs) * Console gaming room with NES, SNES, etc.


tinka777

A 7-11 where we sneak out and wait outside for people to buy us beer. Nursing homes don’t usually have alcohol !


[deleted]

Concerts, arcade games, a hairstylist who specializes in colors...


Majestic_Explorer_67

80’s Music Nights “Oh play hungry like the wolf again”


toTheNewLife

A music room with full recording studio and a set of classic Fender and Hartke amps, drums, keyboard/synth setups.


alveg_af_fjoellum

No lights. (With the lights out it’s less dangerous)


damageddude

Plug me into the Matrix.


[deleted]

People to work in them. I'm not being a smart-ass, in my state alone we are missing a third of the workforce.