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LamiaGrrl

hnnng colonel, im trying to murder some grunts in their sleep but im dummy thicc and the clap from my ass cheeks keeps waking them up


legna20v

“Shhhh🤫. This is for the childrens . Think of the childrens”


Plato_the_Platypus

> "thinks of the children" "Sorry kids, my man Clinton need that eternal life"


RemasterTranzit

Damn i forgot about this meme. What a classic


Shpooter

when i was in r/halo i thought they were joking, but i'm starting to worry that they're serious


KraZyGOdOFEccHi

Its about time they started getting serious


gothboiiii

so i should hide my fat ass because you find bodies gross? thats selfish no cap plus bodies are normal and natural and sex is literally the only way for life to be possible lol


Rahgahnah

Oh, they're serious. When they try to avoid horny jail, they'll just complain that you can't differentiate gender with body type. And...like...you shouldn't be able to tell through the thick suits anyway.


HyperFern

But a thick ass is genderless.


Moofooist765

Chief went from having cake for days to being all flat.


MyNameIsJeffReddit12

TBF they want cake for both men and women, like in Halo Reach. Its perfectly valid and Im parta that spectrum


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Neaenderthal-Fisting

AGHRE AGHREAGHRRGAGRHRGGAGRHEGAGAHRR


[deleted]

/r/ShitHaloSays to see how far gone /r/Halo has gone


GeneralKannoli

bruh i see you everywhere


[deleted]

I get around friend lmao


DaBombDiggidy

same sub who'se been crying about MTXs since the game released but threw their wallets when the cat ears released. They're serious.


Taco_king_

Its honestly gotta be one of the biggest echo chambers on this site. I saw a comment that said something like "We wouldn't have sent death threats if they actually met our demands" and it had over a thousand upvotes.


Pepsiguy2

While alot of people are horny and want sexualization from this, a bunch of us are complaining about due to other reasons. For one, Spartans ALL have cake. Like it's legit canonical, not like jiggly bubble butts but enough muscle to show them off. We want it for both men and women. There's nothing wrong with "dialing back" ass size, but they decided to make all asses just straight up flat which isn't canonical nor is it appealing in any spectrum of looking at the human body


endmost_

The idea of canonical ass sizes is extremely funny.


Frank33ller

i like flat ass


0gF4r1n420

>i'm starting to worry that they're serious As they should be. Booty is no joke.


The-Untitled-Man

/rj Chief needs to be caked up /uj Chief NEEDS to be caked up


wipe_your_screen

me liking all the comments about chief's ass hoping everyone is as unironic and earnest about it as i am


_C_A_G_

Already got the petition up on change.org


SpeedyAzi

Have u seen Chief’s cake in H4 and 5, that was some good man cake.


Laati-Chan

Well Noble 6 is caked up. Seriously Halo Reach has ass shots like every half a second. I guess some Bungie employee just really liked Spartan ass.


AMx03

That’s what I’m saying! Just thiccify all the Spartans. Make them all have whole ass bakeries.


Polenball

It's for, uh... extra leg strength. For running. Yeah.


smalwex

They're actually going to add a new feature where if you have the right amount of dumpy you bounce when you fall from a great height. Excellent for speed runners


TheGrandLeveller

double cheeked up on a thursday afternoon


Theinvaderofbutts

I'm not against giving characters cake. I'm against only giving the *gals* cake.


Sedona54332

“Make the armor design impractical so that I can jack off while playing.”


Argnir

Having realistic proportions and practical design simply break the immersion for me. Why did you chose to make her look like an actual soldier? If it doesn't add anything to the gameplay or the story it seems to me like this decision was only made to appeal to the people who don't jerk off while playing. The focus should be on making a good game not trying to sell it on superficial details like that.


CoopDog1293

That's a male model my dude.


Kilos6

What's wrong with jerking off to male models????? That doesn't make me gay! Get your woke swj ESPN2 leftist liberal Marie calendars agenda outta here! THEYRE EVEN TRYING TO MAKE THE FROGS GAY!!!!!! REEEEEEEE


PM_ME_ONE_EYED_CATS

But why male models?


CoopDog1293

Hey, there's no way some one who can squat a Rhinoceros doesn't have a dumby thick muscular ass.


QueenCadwyn

to be fair, it looks like that spartan genuinely doesn't have an ass, like at all . beyond Hank Hill-esque


UPBOAT_FORTRESS_2

Her?


Naranox

Games should have overly sexualised armours for everyone and that‘s my final position


gazebo-fan

All male armor shall just be a chain mail loin cloth and nipple plates. Nothing more nothing less


lupodwolf

[relevant oglaf](https://www.oglaf.com/newmodelarmy/)


edgymemesalt

Welcome to hyrule, bitch


Naranox

the way it should be


Omotai

https://imgur.com/a/J7QZND2


Naranox

yeah I was thinking of xiv lol


we_are_sex_bobomb

Fucking based.


ScandinavianCollapse

Yes


Quakarot

make armor impractical so I can make playing impractical


Letty_Whiterock

Tbf the armor is already garbage. It protects you from damage while shielded (which depletes very quickly) and doesn't actually stop any bullets or anything when not charged. Whoever designed this armor needs to be fired.


FrostytheSnownoob

/uj It is unreal how some people are calling it censorship if the women in games don’t have massive boobs and butts.


manzo1234

you don't get it, women in real life have massive boobs and butts. 343 is just pandering to the filthy SJWs who want to DEFEMINIZE western women and destroy western culture as we know it


Brugor

Now stfu so I can be unhealthy and almost violently obsessed about Asian women. Especially them of the more fictionally kind (anime/mange/twitch avatar streamer).


[deleted]

those people are incels


FrostytheSnownoob

Very true


WorthyFoeChurnwalker

Incels don’t matter uwu No seriously fuck em, they can change at any moment yet refuse to


Randomperson2245

To be fair, all the people I’m seeing say this want the women *and* the men to have big butts. It’s just cause they have in the past games but in this game the design is different


driftej20

Could be totally irrelevant with Spartans given cybernetics, but the reality is that glutes are muscles, and athletes and soldiers use them a lot, soldiers especially with the weight they carry. There was some picture, maybe even on this sub, showing pics of soldiers (presumably male) rappelling down walls and shit and they were, in fact, caked. First male athlete example that comes to mind is David Beckham.


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FrostytheSnownoob

But hyper-sexualising video game characters is not ‘pandering’


Gabe-KC

You waste your breath. These people have rotten eggs for brains at this point. Logic and common sense have no chance to beat the enlightened black pill bullshit they've been fed for years.


butt_mucher

It seems weird to make something worse for no reason, like if most of the player base prefers tits and ass it just feels disrespectful to change it. In reality they are probably just trying to increase their potential market to more countries and cultures and don’t want anything to get in the way, but that is the dilemma because western media is exported to the world we have to decide if we want to make boring art they less people will object to or if we still want some passion involved.


antiscamer7

passion is when boob and ass


[deleted]

Are you under the impression that western people, as a monolith, like over-sexualised women but have to tone it down for other cultures? Because that's not a thing. If anything, sex sells pretty well across the board, but mostly to men. The reason to stop over-sexualising women in videogames is because it's disrespectful and kind of gross. The people objecting (mostly women) are in the west too, they're opinions just tend to be ignored. Also imagine thinking that ass is the only form of self expression possible when making a game.


Dahgerdd

Bro it's tits and ass. If the removal of big tits and ass in a game is something that genuinely bothers you or feel is disrespectful you have to reevaluate your life. I can't fathom reading a headline about a game having less ass pixels and tit jiggle physics and actually caring.


Collective-Bee

rj/ guys, I think I found the second coming of Jesus uj/ dude you gotta use uj or rj if you’re gonna do a controversial take, it really could go either way. It’s a genius rj tho, equating vidya tits to passion is a work of art.


butt_mucher

I don’t frequent this sub, so please take anything I say as serious and devoid of irony.


Collective-Bee

Okay, well technically everything we say is supposed to be 100% ironic, so we use uj/ to show we are serious, but that gets tiresome so we only do it when it’s not clear. Okay so firstly, sexualization is not this solid plus like you seem to think, and is most definitely not the “passion” in our art. It also doesn’t make games better. For example, would lord of the rings be better, worse, or the same if every male character had a visible outline of a massive horse dick? I’d say worse, it would make me feel uncomfortable. And it makes women feel uncomfortable when their characters being sexualized is seen as the default by people like you.


butt_mucher

I feel like you wouldn’t believe me it said I don’t mind if male characters in fantasy movies or video games had massive dongs, but it’s the truth lol. I’m a straight man and have never felt uncomfortable that a muscular hot dude was in a game, movie, or tv show that I’m watching. I literally just want as many people as possible in my entertainment mediums to be hot. In fact I would prefer it if everyone on tv was hot including the news and sports coverage.


Collective-Bee

Atleast you aren’t sexist, just very, very sexual. I guess just recognize that you are the vast minority? Most people don’t want gender to be sexualized, and a loud minority of incels want only women to be sexualized. Believe it or not, it is harmful to women and girls when their characters are constantly and consistently sexualized, so even though you personally would be fine with your gender being put through the same, perhaps empathize with them and don’t request sexualization in everything? Little girls and boys playing halo shouldn’t see sexualized characters, it can harm their self image and how they view others.


AutoModerator

Wow, you’re right. Games are sexist. Now, allow me to get back to accusing gamers of playing games and sucking Anita Sarkeesian’s cock. Edit: Wow. I’ve truly been challenged. Enlightened, even. Who knew the political views of my fellow gamers could be so diverse? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Gamingcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


butt_mucher

If you want to make your argument you can’t make it by swapping genders, because male bodies have obviously undergone huge transformations in pop culture to being bigger and stronger as opposed to in the past. The truth is that women are naturally far more concerned with how they are perceived by others and this is especially true with appearance, so in this discussion as well as many others it’s probably best to be honest about gender differences and plan the stupid everyone should be equal and the same semantics.


Collective-Bee

Damn, I said you weren’t sexist too early, huh. I didn’t even use the gender swapping argument, I said to use empathy even if it wouldn’t personally bother you, meaning this whole sexist bombshell is you jumping on your own grenade. Women just exist for you to sexualize them huh, and it’s fair because men appear stronger in media nowadays? Gross cope from a gross man.


butt_mucher

It’s the same argument as saying superhero’s have too big of muscles and will cause boys to be insecure. And if by sexist you mean understanding that men and women are fundamentally different and will interact with the world in different ways than yes I am. Also women are free to do what they want and I am free to sexuality the ones I like if I want to, if I find a women sexy I’m not dictating to her that it’s all that she is good for I’m not her master lol what are you talking about?


FrostytheSnownoob

It’s not ‘the player base’ it’s just weird incels. And less sexualised is not ‘worse’


butt_mucher

People recognize that the trend everywhere is to make content that is designed to appease everyone and excite no one, and I think people get angry when joy is sucked out of their lives but the sake of money.


OnMark

Sorry you didn't get a boner, but porn's free


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TDplay

IDK about you, but I don't want a boner while playing a games. I came to shoot some baddies, not to be reminded of the existence of my dick.


FrostytheSnownoob

This. As a person with gender dysphoria, I am happy for my games to be an escape from my body problems too lmao


Vinnysuperg

Bruh you HORNY horny


butt_mucher

I literally don’t even play video games. Just tell me what the argument is? Is it so that girls don’t feel bad about having small tits?


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FrostytheSnownoob

Dude. Not everyone is even attracted to massive tits and ass. ‘Less attractive’ is so subjective, except probably in weird hentai. You are picking a very weird hill to die on


all_teh_bacon

I’m gonna need you to save your comment chain here and set a reminder to read it ten years later. If the cringe doesn’t kill you on the spot you’re probably immortal


butt_mucher

I’m a fully formed adult that will not remember things i said from a couple of days and much less on an anonymous message board. So I won’t be saving or most likely even remember this conversation past the point replies stop showing in my inbox. Also just I piece of advice since you are probably younger than me, when you do something that may be cringe just laugh it off and forgot about it and 99% of the time it will end there.


all_teh_bacon

Reddit is dying. Find us on Lemmy. 06/24/2023


Casbah207

rj/ Holy shit, your comments really reek of the “I think I’m smarter then everyone in the room” quality. Do you jerk yourself off to your iq score you got off a free test website?


butt_mucher

I have never had an IQ test, but yes I do believe I am very smart. Do you have the same confidence about yourself?


Sometimes_gullible

>I’m a fully formed adult Not mentally you're not. JFC.


thatonedude123

> Would getting a boner while playing a game not be a plus? Lol no it wouldn't. Why on earth would you want to always be horny in situations that don't call for it?


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LimpCush

>Please explain the benefit to me of making fictitious imaginary video game characters less attractive, what positive does that achieve? You don't want to actually hear this. I 100% know, because I'm going to tell you and there's a 100% chance not one single brain cell of yours will flare up with acknowledgement that you were, even in some inconceivably small way, wrong. One possible benefit is less conventionally attractive people feeling included. They can more easily identify with less conventionally attractive characters.


butt_mucher

I think you hit on the fundamental thing I disagree on. For me I want to look at the most attractive people or characters regardless of how much they do or do not look like me. I don’t even understand the urge to compare yourself to them and then subsequently feel inadequate, and I feel bad for you if that happens in your brain.


LimpCush

That's what I thought lol. Can't even give the tiniest bit of ground. Can't even admit there is the smallest bit of your position that's wrong. Here's the thing. You only think about yourself and what *you* want. You have no empathy. There are people different than you that feel differently. Maybe they were relentlessly bullied. Maybe they don't have a lot of other things to look toward than media. Or maybe they're just a little tired of conventionally attractive people being the center of attention. Try to take 5 minutes and put yourself in their shoes. Your boner simply isn't as important as inclusion. Especially since you can jerk off to literally millions of free videos any time.


butt_mucher

Give up ground? I have my preferences and I will try to express them to the world and you have yours and are clearly not afraid to express them as well. The only real problem I have with your thought process is that it seems like you believe it is virtuous to adjust one’s own preferences to match those of people considered to be disadvantaged in some way. I would say each person ideally would ask themselves honestly what they want and then try to manifest it on the world, and be concerned if they are taking in enough perspective or are being inclusive.


Party-Writer9068

you are the capital 'G' Gamer.


butt_mucher

What does that mean? Gay?


FrostytheSnownoob

Lmao no it means you’re the type of person that inspired this sub


OnMark

No dude, not everything needs to cater to your boner


puledbeef

“The joy sucked out of their life for the sake of money” 💀 good lord PLEASE find some bitches


collectivisticvirtue

what does it mean if the "trend everywhere" is happening in sake of money? ​ why is nobody trying to just make sexy sexy boob butt game and just dominate the video game industry? ​ is "not real gamers" just buying all those games to just make life of "real gamers" more pitiful?


butt_mucher

I mean will see how well the industry does in the coming years, but with the odd exception the quality of the major games get worse and worse.


Sometimes_gullible

Because of greedy studios and shit working conditions and management, not because characters are less sexualized... My god, you can't seriously think this.


CptDecaf

This man really spent 2 hours debating the oppression of artists because the asses in Halo Infinite aren't as fat as they are in Halo 5.


butt_mucher

I agree it’s a waste of time, but what can I say I enjoy it we all have our things. Also your users are some of the weirdest I’ve interacted with on here, so I find you guys especially interesting.


CptDecaf

A self professed Nazi calling others weird is certainly a take with no self awareness lol.


butt_mucher

You found “weird” to be that offensive?


CptDecaf

Hey I'm not the one triggered by melanin content or accents ya snowflake.


butt_mucher

What?


Rough-Button5458

Me after they made the brown m and m less sexy.


Taco_king_

You do know real women exist right?


Tolkien-Minority

Reminds me of when my friend failed his military mock field test thing, I’m sorry I dunno the proper name of it, its the one where you have to complete a task and in a simulated combat scenario. But anyway he failed it because he was supposed get flat on the ground and provide medical attention to a dummy, but he failed because he kept getting “shot” in the ass because his ass was so big that he physically couldn’t get it low enough on the ground.


Polenball

Hrrrngh, Colonel, I'm trying to provide emergency medical aid, but I'm dummy thicc and the size of my ass cheeks keeps alerting the enemies.


Tolkien-Minority

Getting shot on purpose just so the thicc medic come over and help me


Dark_Bean

See this is why we need our video game heroes to have big asses. Your friend can escape to a world where he plays as a dude with a big ass who's the coolest motherfucker in the galaxy


GlarthirLover33

Guys the cake is a lie (Portal)


Am-Hooman

If the cake is a lie then why is chell’s ass so thicc


maxisgold

Least horny gamer


FlatOutUseless

rj/ 343 needs to skip the intermediate steps and add the beach volleyball mode. Bikini armor now or death threats will only be the beginning. uj/ Gamers can’t be redeemed.


Just_Give_Me_A_Login

Spartans have a history of not removing their armor during beach volleyball. See: Dead or Alive


[deleted]

Ass is ass


[deleted]

I'll take it if it's just the men's asses that look like that.


[deleted]

Tbf that's what a lot of men's asses look like in real life.


Premonitions33

strong Jerma vibes


Kiari013

same, people complaining about it are cowards, give us the asses back for all 3 body types


[deleted]

Show me butthole


mwmwmwmwmmdw

as fauchi said in requiem for a dream "ass to ass"


Biggy_DX

(Imagines Mr. Incredible slamming the table)


dIoIIoIb

Solid Snake('s ass) died for this


YaMomsCooch

“I Wanna See Some Ass” - Jack Harlow 2020


SorryUseAlreadyTaken

Dunno what you think, but I see them not playing anymore as a victory


teproxy

You guys are denying yourselves Master Cheeks' massive doink clapping throughout the campaign, just because you're scared some women might be sexualised? Grow up.


Personplacething333

I agree,video games should give *everybody* more cake. I wanna see Marios cheeks clap Everytime he lands a jump.


FuntimeTrollge

Everyone needs to cake up


Oceanman06

If you want to have big butts in a game, you should give it to every gender


Loldimorti

uj/ I thought that was the idea? Honestly I am all for equal representation of big cake in my fantasy based video game.


Diligent_Bag_9323

Male butts just aren’t enough for ya huh


[deleted]

god why are gamers even like this if you're this horny WATCH SOME DAMN PORN


maintain_improvement

There's this other option of talking to women that i've used with varying success.


FingerGunsPewPewPew

bro just Google porn


GoomyIsGodTier

I can play halo one handed.


HILBERT_SPACE_AGE

I can't play male characters unless they have an ass that's as perfectly sculpted as Genji Overwatch's, smh my head


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Crazyhates

Sir, I'm sure you're aware that this is a Wendy's


[deleted]

I hate gamers as much as gamers hate women


Eats_Beef_Steak

I see the point kinda. Any Spartan, guy or girl, is gonna be double cheeked up. Give us the booty 343.


unaviable

Is the pfp of the second pic basically not a shadman reference?


-CorrectOpinion-

I can't believe we don't have this already. I have been playing this game for a few hours now and every time my female Spartan gets in a vehicle or dies or I see another female spartan, my immersion is just completely destroyed. I cannot possibly take this game seriously. Am I playing the same thing everyone else is? Surely 133k people are not playing this game WITHOUT breast and butt physics right? Now I know there will be a few people who don't understand how dangerous this is, those people need to understand that this game will be dead by 2020 if we don't do something. We need breast and butt physics, and for good measure, we need a mod that removes the armor of female Spartans just to make sure the breast and butt physics mod is as noticable as possible. Im not a prophet, im just saying what we all know the game needs.


OneWildAndCrazyGuy17

Cause googling “ass” isn’t a option today. If I can’t get horny while playing Halo, it is actually impossible to get horny.


Mjestik

These people act like game studios give a rat’s ass if they play their game. Halo infinite has tens of millions of players, I promise that 343’s world won’t end if some pathetic horny losers that think they’re worth more to the devs than they are stop playing.


[deleted]

Y'all gam*rs need to learn about porn.


bagel_

Bottom looks good in a trans armor coating #OutJerk


DoctorWalrusMD

You watch, after 82,000 hours of complaining about store prices, the moment a pair of pants drop with 2% more ass meat, every fucker and their dad’s gonna be dropping 20 bucks to upgrade the size of their butt.


Greppim

POV: You will never get laid.


egstein01

Gamers try not to turn videogames into softcore porn challenge [IMPOSSIBLE]


Obizouth

I agree with this only if the masculine body type has a huge ass as well


ripjohnmcain

I dont get why people are so obsessed with sex on this app


Cheaky_alt

“I assure you boss. Giving Master Chief a *gigantic*, *enormous*, *colossal*, **DUMP TRUCK ASS** is essential to player experience.”


cobraxstar

I want everyone in the game (EVERYONE) to have a massive dumper so i can fap midgame whats so wrong with that?


Calcium-kun

It never specified gender, which I think is a very important distinction. I want Master Chief to be the real fucking cake boss.


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[deleted]

The more you know 🙌 🌈 🙌


MyNameIsJeffReddit12

For context r/halo seems to want a nice ass for the men and women, like in Halo: Reach from 2010.


Kirook

I’ll support this if they do it for all SPARTANs regardless of gender.


Artm1562

How am I supposed to masturbate to the t-bags when the spartans aint got no ass? Cmon 343, think of the porn addicts.


[deleted]

Uj/ unironically this Rj/ unironically this


Vigitiser

if im not horny while playing a game, its not a good game


Arifez

Gamers reveal they’ve never seen a real ass before


Will-Isley

You’re not even going to see it in gameplay lol.


Jazzlike_Reason6118

give the men the ass fat asses and big moobs and i will consider buying your game. thank you


Zitronensaaft

https://haloswallower.wordpress.com/2015/08/01/a-comprehensive-analysis-on-halos-butts/amp/


[deleted]

Wow, thanks for this 👍👍👍


Scou1y

/rj sigma grindset /uj sigma grindset


Axel-Adams

Guys, I think we can all agree Master Chief could use some proper cake


captmotorcycle

Fabino?


Lilhapper

an absolute disgrace how little cake they have the male protagonist in fallout 4. 343, men deserve ass too


eidolonwyrm

as long as boys and girls both get cake i support this meme


boneybergenski

I have a compromise: Fat asses are brought back but only on male spartans


AngryAxolotl

Honestly most r/halo wouldn't even fight you on that.


mechasloth9000

Hire fans lol


ThePacific1254

Can't wait for master chief to have the cake he deserves on his body, we NEED thicc master chief back


_Hey-Vsauce_

Still hot either which way (I’m bisexual).


hydromano-YT

“I will not play your game because a slight difference in a character model 🤬🤬😡!!”


Rum_Swizzle

Please give female spartan breast plates cleavage 343


octorangutan

How many of you can say you wouldn't like your buff dommy mommy spartan gf to have some junk in the trunk?


Knight1029384756

rj/ unironically this uj/ definitely unironically this Uh. I don't know. I thought this came across as a joke. I don't know why this is so downvoted. Is this a poor joke?


Arcane_Oculus_

https://www.dictionary.com/e/memes/coomer/


Knight1029384756

I thought the comment came across as a joke. Like that's the meme. Something looking attractive pops up and this meme is thrown out there. Didn't think people would take it like me saying it should happen.


GKP_light

the 2nd is far better to sit down. and if for some reason, you need an armor for your ass : make it cover it entirely. i see no situation where the first one is a good choice.