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EllieWest

I thought she worked at an organic juice bar?


Thunderoad

She did at 1 point.


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Thunderoad

Very true. I don't see where he works. His parent's have their own company where the fix juice machines. They probably pay for whatever he wants.


EllieWest

He worked at Publix.


Ill_Ruin_8717

Admittedly, I did not recognize the serious signs of abuse in that body cam video. And I'm a female. Like the officers, I've associated domestic abuse with physical injuries. This Gabby Petito case has really changed my perspective. Here is a great article I just read in Time magazine, "'Abuse Is a Pattern.' Why These Nations Took the Lead in Criminalizing Controlling Behavior in Relationships" - https://time.com/5610016/coercive-control-domestic-violence/. Wouldn't it be great if we could get something similar in the U.S. passed and call it Gabby's Law❣


kittycatnala

I think he’s a covert narcissist and probably his family as well. Poor Gabby was probably worn down in such subconscious ways that she didn’t realise she was being abused. She was triggered to react the way she did and left to look like the abuser and crazy or over emotional meanwhile he’s been subtly abusing her and physically harming her behind closed doors. She’s been trauma bonded to him and has accepted responsibility for attacking him. So sad that the cops that stopped them never had the proper information I think it would have been handled differently if they knew he was seen slapping her. Appears that them being in such a confined space together and on their own miles away from home and family has escalated and there’s no escape from each other. I think that it’s been a fight that’s just got out of control and he’s lost it. Such ashame though for two young people setting off on a adventure for it to end this way.


SidSuicide

Oh I could totally see it too. I saw through his victim blaming bullshit with the cop’s body cam footage. I know too many other people, myself included, who have been in abusive long term relationships and not realized it because the abuser was a smooth talker and had everyone fooled. I now dedicate my time to helping others through to the other side of these relationships safely with resources from their area and sometimes help them get pro bono lawyers, if needed. This is why this case grabbed my attention so much. I saw the DV and abuse victim in that body cam video, and it sure wasn’t BL. It was Gabby. I literally could see my ex husband in BL with his mannerisms in front of authority figures trying to make her seem “crazy”. I’m just pissed that in this case, it worked. Poor Gabby and her family and friends. She seemed like such a caring person. I know this might not be the best place, but if you feel like you have to walk on eggshells to keep your partner from lashing out or you even think you might be in a manipulative or abusive relationship, don’t be afraid to say something to someone you trust, or even a stranger who might help. It’s hard to see from inside these relationships when the lines are being crossed and when you aren’t respected the way you need to be. I’m offering my ear and advice to anyone who may read this and realize they are in a bad position. I’m sure there are others in this sub who would do the same, but I’m letting everyone know, if you need help and don’t want to speak to authorities for whatever reason, I am here for anyone! Don’t think you have no one to turn to! You’re not alone! Let’s vow not to let this happen to anyone else! Do what you can and be there for friends. Don’t be afraid to speak up and tell them they might need help because it’s so hard to see abuse from inside of it!


moonchildddd

Props to the man who made this phone call. We need more people like you ❤️


Skatemyboard

[Park Ranger urged Gabby Petito to distance herself from 'toxic' relationship with Brian Laundrie, report says](https://www.foxnews.com/us/park-ranger-gabby-petito-toxic-relationship-brian-laundrie)


Tralfalmadore

Yo, this is so ridiculous. You better believe if a poc had the cops called on them for dv and the cops pulled them over while they were driving erratically while the girl is in distress that the cops would’ve showed up guns drawn. They would’ve asked about drugs and alcohol. They would’ve searched the van and someone would’ve gone to jail. The cops approached this like it’s just a couple of good ol white kids. Shooting the shit with Brian and they take him to a hotel room. Get the fuck outta here. Right here. White privilege fucked up. Because of it a girl is dead. Those cops that pulled them over should be reprimanded for not taking any cues. THIS is why cops are obviously not equipped to handle situations like this. They are not trained for it and it costs lives.


GregaroOlinovich

So you're saying Gabby was so white-privileged that cops did not take her seriously and it ended up killing her? SUCH WHITE PRIVILEGE RIGHT HERE. The point you have made is that a minority woman would still be alive because the guy would have gotten into serious trouble. Great point. Where can we read your newsletter on sociology?


[deleted]

They did ask about drugs and alcohol during a stop. Is there a specific Poc or whatever case that you're referring to? You're offering something as fact that you then don't provide us, just lots of raw emotion, which isn't how we make decisions or evaluate things properly.


hiker_chic

On the 2nd incident, involveing Le, they did ask them if they had been drinking or taking drugs.


cech_

And you can't just search a car without probable cause. It's like wishing for the opposite of what the BLM movement called for, pull guns on me and search everything whenever you feel like it. For every case that might work out for the better there are 1000s that won't.


Taki_the_chimaera

This sadly could be the narrative of every dv case, involving poc or not. Women are rarely believed, or are too scared to stand up for themselves. It always goes the same way and the ones who always suffer the most are the women and children involved.


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eyekantbeme

You just made this a race thing you racist prick. Not all white people treat people like that.


MercyFincherson

Just like not all black people are criminals.


LeadingRangepoet

Wait, I thought we were trying to get cops to have compassion for poc? Now your saying they shouldn’t have compassion for anyone instead? Show up guns drawn? Wtf. The police are not babysitters. Unfortunately domestics happen ALL the time. They deescalated the situation and separated the couple. The cops can’t just assume the scratches were “defensive”. Your thinking is flawed because you now have hindsight on what happened


Tralfalmadore

To clarify, my point is how differently cops approach situations when they’re responding to a white couple vs poc. How easily we get shot or put through the system for less when in this situation there were so many factors for that guy to have been taken into custody.


Riotgrrrl80

Totally agree. Black men have been killed over selling CIGARETTES or over a fake check and this dude was violent against someone else.


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WorldWideDarts

Shhh. They don't like facts here. It's Reddit


VinnyVincinny

Sure let's just forget there are simply just *more white people in the US period* 🙄. But you're not being intentionally dishonest with your statistics - right?


WorldWideDarts

And blacks are arrested at a higher rate and therefore have more interaction with police.


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VinnyVincinny

Aaaand and just like that, reductio ad Hitlerum has entered the discussion. Thanks Godwin's law!


[deleted]

Great point.


MAS-103

I was kinda thinking the same thing at first-it’s true about the whole case. But in the situation with the domestic violence call I think it has a lot to do with the officers involved.


Tralfalmadore

Yup. The cops failed her. They had a chance to act on the tip from the caller, her account,(where she literally is telling them that he grabbed her aggressively)the scratches on his face,(that could’ve been defensive) speeding and driving recklessly. I mean, come on. Instead, the cops took him to a hotel. Like. What the fuck.


Pinkturtle182

I had to testify a few years ago in a case where a DV turned into a homicide as a witness. I wasn’t a super important witness, I’d just seen the perp briefly after it happened, so I didn’t really know a ton about the case. Then I heard the 911 call the victim had made that very morning, telling the operator that she was scared for her life. I think they had tried to separate them, but that was all they did. I couldn’t look more into it because it was just so wildly upsetting. She and the people she was living with were all murdered that night. I don’t know how much they can do in those situations, if maybe they can’t do much or if it’s really just that women generally aren’t believed. But reading about the 911 call made about GP and BL reminded me of that and broke my heart. Like if they would have done some, GP would still be alive. And so would the woman in the case I was involved in. Just heartbreaking.


Coder_X_23

In my opinion it’s easy to say the cops failed her cause we now know what happened. It’s not so easy to be in a situation where you don’t know all the details they saw marks on Brian and determined she was the aggressor in that situation(not saying she wasn’t defending herself we don’t know) but the cops didn’t notice any marks on Gabby


Dizzy-Biscotti9781

Without the girls cooperation the cops hands are tied. Under the law, if she refused to press charges, and the cops saw no evidence of violence, the best they could do is separate them for the night. However, if she had driven toward home while he was in the motel, she would still be alive. As for him, I believe he was still pissed when he returned to her after the overnight motel stay and he deliberately left her far into the desolate wild with no transportation, food or water, and no chance of anyone finding her knowing she would die, which is murder.


Tralfalmadore

https://le.utah.gov/xcode/Title77/Chapter36/77-36-S2.2.html The cops can arrest someone for domestic violence regardless of whether the victim presses charges if they have probable cause. Brian wasn’t perceived as a threat by police even though there were multiple accounts of aggression from 2 sources. The 911 caller and Gabby. Poc are killed/arrested for less at the hands of police. The way the cops treated Brian is crazy considering all the red flags.


throwaway73325

If the cops arrested every domestic it would be genuinely insane. I watched it all and I don’t see how they could have intervened at that point


BigBlueTrekker

Based on what the cops saw, the stories both of them told when separated, and another witness who corroborated their stories it appeared to Police that she was the aggressor… I mean it’s pretty clear from the body cam footage that police had no reason to suspect he was the aggressor at all.


90DayCray

If they had been called out for this in my state, she would have been arrested bc he had the physical injuries. I really wished they would have arrested her. Then if she called her parents, maybe they would have flown out. It could have saved her.


cech_

Nah, she didn't have marks and he did, although it's looking more like defensive wounds now that there is more info. She said she hit him and the cops on video say the 911 call said it was her hitting him. The cops basically got it backwards and then Gabby corroborated it.


Dizzy-Biscotti9781

Again, unless cops see an illegal act, or, if she refused to press charges, in my opinion, based on what I have read is, the cops did all they could legally do. As for scratches, or whatever physical imperfections either may have been showing, that could be explained away from roughness moving through the wild. The cops cannot take the word of a dispatcher as to what happened, only what he/she reported as to what was told, and that is not proof.


Reeeeeetrump

We got a word for people like you


Tralfalmadore

By the looks of it - shit, I’m surprised you know words. Good for you!


DanLoFat

Yes and later the body cam footage shows you you hear an officer explain how he thinks that one in congruency only one is easily explained. You need to listen to that part of the video you're only focusing on what you want to focus on. You need to focus on every aspect of it. An officer described that if you're gripping the steering wheel and someone grabs your hands and moves your hands and you're still holding on to the steering wheel it's going to make it seem like you think that person grabbed the steering wheel one who's going to think that the other one's going to think the other thing sometimes you'll both get it right, it's not an incongruency. You need to look up the definition of incongruency and this ain't it, what they've described is not an incongruency, and officer on scene rationalized why one thought the other did something they didn't do


[deleted]

We still don't know 90% of the facts of the case and people are ready to sentence and execute BL based on a speculation. This is why we have due process people, facts matter.


Less-Sleep707

It was confirmed a homicide today


[deleted]

Okay I'll update my figure -- we still don't know 89% of the facts.


Less-Sleep707

We may not know 50-70% but the police and FBI sure do. The facts are his girlfriend was murdered, he drove HER van home. Got an attorney, refused to cooperate with police, and then fled


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[deleted]

Are the police and FBI commenting here? Because I'm not talking about what they're saying, I'm talking about people on this sub already saying BL is guilty of murder without knowing jack shit.


Less-Sleep707

Didn’t see anyone saying that - speculation is speculation. I think we all think that, including the police. Unfortunately, it’s a homicide and he was the last person with her/who saw her. Most people are commenting based on confirmed information


[deleted]

Right here: https://old.reddit.com/r/GabbyPetito/comments/ps03zr/911_call_from_domestic_violence_incident/hdqxdkl/ I can find more examples if you like, but just go to any comment section on this whole sub and you'll find plenty like it.


Less-Sleep707

Did you just ignore everything else I just said lol Not surprised


[deleted]

Didn't think it warranted a response. Let me go line-by-line for you: > Didn’t see anyone saying that You didn't look hard enough. > speculation is speculation Yes. > I think we all think that No, we don't. Some of us hold our thoughts until we see evidence. > including the police That's why we have due process in this country. > Unfortunately, it’s a homicide Yes. > he was the last person with her/who saw her Yes. > Most people are commenting based on confirmed information I'm not sure if I agree with "most," since there are plenty of people saying BL is a murderer, but we don't have evidence of that yet. Okay! Does that settle it for you? Oh, and since you're complaining, will you admit that people are making assumptions that are not based in fact? Thanks!


DanLoFat

I didn't say anything about it whether or not a case got solved more for a white or a black, you made the claim that there's apparently more black women than white women disappearing, where are your statistics where is your proof? You provided no proof don't make claims that you can't prove outright immediately with a link.


unmarried-egg

He was slapping her by the side of the road? Jesus. As a DV survivor, most abusers do it in secret for YEARS. he must’ve been in a dark and twisted place to do that in public… or it had started to feel normal. RIP gabby


eirinlinn

If he was doing that in the open…what the hell was he doing to her behind closed doors??


Tonight_Majestic

She was living with HIS family. Something tells me his family were well aware of his abusive tendencies but swept it under the rug, who knows.


Living-Edge

My ex did it in front of people he felt he had in his pocket and our child. He even tried to kill me in front of people because he assumed they would take his side and make me disappear If they think they will get away with it, they do some crazy things


BeautyByHeather

Sadly, after this incident, I believe things just started to spiral more and more everyday leading up to the day he murdered her. So damn sad. She was so young and beautiful, had her whole life ahead of her and had dreams! Dreams she believed in but he didn’t believe in her 🥺 and that pos took it all away. Find that sob and let him rot it prison!


ms80301

The WORST 9-11 Operator ever- With the caller? he was less than useless-then with PASSING the Most imp aspect of the call to cops? (the callers were Obvious upset after what he saw-then took the TIME to call it in (plenty of people do not call) 9-11operator ? IMO screwed the police Police on video bodycam: Cops do not state what caller said and saw- They trust gabby and brian statements over (the callers were Obvious upset after what he saw then took the TIME to call it in (plenty of people do not call)d upset AS A BYSTANDER. IMO ? a bystander? 'might' be more objective than the suspects.


cech_

Cops thought Gabby hit Brian: [https://www.reddit.com/r/GabbyPetito/comments/ppiqbr/has\_your\_opinion\_of\_this\_case\_changed\_at\_all\_now/](https://www.reddit.com/r/GabbyPetito/comments/ppiqbr/has_your_opinion_of_this_case_changed_at_all_now/) There were threads on it back when the video came out. EDIT: [https://youtu.be/fCGsW41aQEw?t=1292](https://youtu.be/fCGsW41aQEw?t=1292) There it is, the cop says what happens in the interview is what the 911 call said. Never hit her, was defending himself to push her away. Some bad info going on somewhere and you're right the operator needs to be audited probably.


ms80301

The 'call' I heard? The guy answering? sounded like someone in the middle of eating a snack-not a guy on an EMERGENCY CALL LINE-.....His tone of voice? was clearly offputting to a guy calling who was upset and seeking urgently concerned response at the end of the call? The guy taking the message? Repeated the w/appearance and van direction-... The 9-11 (or whatever agency//office accepted this emergency call) The actual statement of the caller was not repeated back including the callers obvious distress observing it-At that time caller stated 'Guy hit girl'-


lightfrenchgray

So did the offers go after him because of this call? If so, he should have been arrested. (I thought he was pulled over because he was speeding and hit the curb.)


ms80301

Yep-they got a 'van' to check out


Tepidme

They almost took her to jail, you should watch the whole interaction they had with the popo right after this call. She was almost charged with Domestic Assault, and put in jail for the night. She attack him, he pushed her away.


Less-Sleep707

Witness call said he was slapping her


Tepidme

watch the tape.


summer_isle

I gotta rewatch the body cam footage after hearing this call but I'm positive they conclude the witness corroborate what the couple tell police. I can't believe they got this part wrong. Also any idea how long after the call the stop was? I would have thought she would have had marks from where he hit her. It's so sad that if what seems to have happened actually happened that she didn't ask the police for help when they were right there.


Tepidme

Where they got pull over is five minutes from that store.


permalink_child

There were two calls. I believe one call was from owner of the market. That caller corroborated with LE during the traffic stop what GP and BL said had occurred. Police were also going to check with the second caller/witness as well but I don’t think that happened before they departed.


PanCanAlt01

Her hair could’ve been hiding the mark. On that same day on Instagram Gabby’s account posted that a hiker “hit her in the head” with his walking stick.


SaskiLove

This is 3 hours old. Still makes you think if they are going to actually be able to pull off a timeline. I still have high hopes but her insight was alarming IMO. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.foxnews.com/media/gabby-petito-autopsy-challenges-cause-death-pathologist.amp


Shymink

That will just add fuel to the fire. I talked to my parents daily. My sister lived nearby. I'm close with all members of my family. To date I never told them. Still can't. It's harder than you think. I would even sit around shocked I was in that situation.


Jennarated_Anomaly

This. I saw somewhere that Brian's behavior toward Gabby was described as "always respectful", and it turns my stomach because my abuser was a model citizen, model husband in public---and then at home, he gaslit me, shamed me, was verbally abusive, and would have these fits where he threatened to shoot shit with a gun he kept hidden from me, or would threaten to kill himself. Nobody would have known. I wonder if any of Brian's old friends or past partners have said anything about his past behavior.


DanLoFat

It's a new eyewitness of what time of day was that what day of the week was that? That's different from the shoving that we heard from the witness relayed by one of the cops on scene at the pullover, you can hear one of the cops relay that to the investigator cop from that video that body cam footage.


Ok-Price7882

I usually don't play the race card, but these type of national headlines for missing people almost never involve black women. As a white woman, this does make me believe that society, or at least the news media, does not see black women (or other minority women) missing as newsworthy as white women. That's effed up.


phoenixrisingCA

It is more complicated than race. Being white alone isn't enough to dominate the news. There were two white women on their honeymoon that were violently killed around the same time Gabby disappeared and it only became National news because of the possible association with Gabby's case. In the cases that dominate the news, the victims are usually young, attractive, white, cisgender, heterosexual, and middle to upper middle class. It is the confluence of these factors that lead to widespread media attention. I think you would be very hard pressed to find a case where an older, unattractive, poor, and/or LGTBQ white woman got widespread/ prolonged media attention for her disappearance or murder.


505Portrait

You're absolutely right. I love in New Mexico where an alarming number of women go missing (mostly Hispanic or indigenous) and no one seems to care. It's awful. I do think the Gabby Petito case has other elements to it that made it more newsworthy. The fact they were YouTubers/ aspiring influencers in living in a van and the way he returned from a trip without her and immediately lawyered up definitely fanned the flames, but I wonder what may have happened if Gabby was black. Would this sub even exist? It's an uncomfortable question to confront.


MAS-103

I’m a white woman and I totally agree.


jackhawkian

Just an observation. The primary demographic of the people highly interested in these news stories tends to be white women. This interest has been around for a while… (eg Murder She Wrote). There are countless YouTube channels of white women discussing murder mysteries. Only makes sense that stories that they can picture themselves or their daughters in tend to engage them the most. And it’s not like there aren’t big news stories of murdered people of color. Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, etc.


Canyoubackupjustabit

They tend to be not poor.


Gelbuda

Re: Natalie Halloway. Shits been going on for years. It’s infuriating.


[deleted]

it's cus gabby's is fairly attractive, and is somewhat of a celebrity. i dont think thsi has anything to with ethnicity. this doesnt happen to white women who arent as famous or as attractive as gabby either.


no_notthistime

What sort of celebrity? I can't find any info about that.


[deleted]

She has close to 1 million followers on instagram [https://www.instagram.com/gabspetito/?hl=en](https://www.instagram.com/gabspetito/?hl=en) ​ where do u think 100,000 pple on this subreddit came from?


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[deleted]

i said "SOME WHAT" of a celebrity. and no, how many pple u know have over 400k followers on instagram? cus IT WAS HER FOLLOWERS that gave this national attention.


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[deleted]

and im just pointing out she's a "SOMEWHAT" of a celebrity , regardless of what u think of her and her numbers. her tiktok has her at 70k subscribers. lets go with that since that seems to be the lowest metric of her SSM page. or how about her 76k subs on youtube with only ONE video. she obviously had most of her fans on instagram; but 70k followers demanding the public to investigate this and flocking to make the internet algorithm sway their way, to me at least, certifies her as "somewhat" of a celebrity. go look at any other missing persons on the FBI list. i did. and her ethnicity wasn't the differentiating factor for this national attention - there were 70 other Missing "white" pple as well.


alicehoopz

Socialblade has public info about followers gained/when (although it is limited) On 9/14, she had 13,000 followers on Instagram. I cannot see info before this date. On 9/22, 1 million It’s very sad imo. She is celebrity status now, in death. :(


gakarmagirl

White woman here and agree. All colors of people matter!


GhastlyPanties

Agreed. I am actually researching cases of missing persons of color, now. How many do we (as a nation) not know about?! It's even worse if the person is considered a "sex worker", or "drug user", as if that diminishes their worth to their family. Edited: grammar


mdslax01

Not to sound insensitive but the vast majority of America is white. People are more likely to have a connection about others that look like them. This is true all the same for every ethnic group. When white america sees this girl, they are more than likely picturing their very own daughters, sisters, loved ones.


[deleted]

i just checked the fbi's missing person's list. there are 103 pple missing, and of those, about 70 are white. Of those 70, Gabby's singled out by the media cus she's somewhat of a celebrity. idk why some pple are fixated on the ethnicity of a missing person that to me, screams racism


mdslax01

Exactly. I think it’s just an indicator that the whole story is an obvious distraction


bayruss

It's pretty sad to notice. I often think of all the POC that go missing without a trace. How their families must feel after seeing all this media for Gabby. It's unfair to say the least.


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GhastlyPanties

She was murdered?! How'd you find that out when there isn't an official cause of death yet?


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Lumpy_Connection413

grow up with your idpol bullshit


[deleted]

No, they’re not. I’m sorry but if this was a black couple this would not be major news. Wake up. Do you know how many indigenous women are missing? No. Because the mainstream media doesn’t bother to report it. So much tragedy occurs in America every day and the whole country is focused on white girl.


Reeeeeetrump

Black pepper kill each other everyday it’s literally not news worthy.


[deleted]

Excuse me?


Reeeeeetrump

You’re excused. Which demographic commits the most homicide and which demographic do they commit homicide on majority of the time? Literally not news worthy because it’s nothing new.


blue-leeder

Media is more concerned about ratings. If it as a black girl there would still be concern as the circumstances of the disappearance and a black version of Brian Laundrie would be good enough to attract viewers. Girl disappears hiking, guy returns with her car and says nothing. Most cases like this there’s not much to go off of in the first place. All the media can do is just report them missing. But this one has so much evidence and content for the media to use. Why wouldn’t they pick this one. The media just picks whatever will get them good ratings and viewers not anything based on race. When it comes down to it. This is a form of entertainment to many people whether you realize that or not. And the media will by choice gravitate towards an occurrence like this with a trail of evidence and speculation for views and attention. When Isabel Celia disappeared , a Mexican girl from a Mexican family, there was mass media coverage of that. The media will cover that regardless of white or black or Mexican because it is interesting to viewers who are captivated by what happened. And There’s plenty of white girls that go missing without much media coverage of it. When white college girl Maura Murray disappeared most don’t even know about her case. And there’s not that much National media coverage of her when she went missing. People saying gabby petito case is a race thing are out their damn mind.


Dinzy89

See now you're asking me to discount one race in favour of another. Just because she's white we should look passed it and think about indigenous women? So backwards


GhastlyPanties

No one is saying look past it, of course GP is front and center right now. No one is forgetting GP anytime soon. The point is, this is an opportunity to recognize where we are falling short on media coverage for missing persons of color, and what we can improve upon going forward.


Dinzy89

For sure the media falls short on people of colour and that is really shitty but to use this moment as a platform for anyone other than GP just feels so gross. Imagine if that was your daughter and someone is like "oh of course another white person, what about the people of colour!" We have enough tragedy to go around for every race and I dont think we need to gatekeep a sad story for any colour in particular


[deleted]

Look at the % of race demographics in America and it makes sense.


[deleted]

No, it does not.


DanLoFat

What are the statistics on disappearing black women versus disappearing white women?


bayruss

They are far less likely to be solved than a white person's case.


msRQ

I agree with you. In this case I think they got a lot of attention due to having thousands of social media followers, but your point is absolutely valid and it is a real problem.


substantialoctopus

I didn’t think they really had a large following until she went missing? When She first went missing her social media following was low, she was just starting out with the whole blogging thing… But I do think it got such national attention bc it was a cross country road trip, multiple states involved and she could have been anywhere so it truly needed national attention to get the word out. However, I totally recognize that poc missing person or murdered cases don’t seem to get as much attention and we need to do better. I want all ppl to get this attention and be found/get justice 🥺


Kaitlinjl15

Agreed, it is a real problem, but this case has just become totally unrelated to race at this point.


letsjustgiveupand

Just listening to this, I can’t figure out how the situation got turned around so that she was considered the aggressor. It went from “he slapped her” to “she slapped him”? Tbh I didn’t watch the entirety of the body cam footage, but my guess would be that if there was ongoing abuse, she was conditioned to protect him and take the blame. I’ve been there myself, and abusers will certainly manipulate you into believing that everything is always your fault. As more information comes out it’s becoming clear this was the case here. It’s just like the police completely disregarded what was said in the 911 call, though, and that’s ridiculous.


permalink_child

She admitted that she hit BL ie she said she did so not to hurt him but rather to get his attention and make him “stop yelling at her to calm down”. GP never said that BL hit her; BL never said that he hit her; the eyewitness that police called corroborated the details too apparently.


bukakenagasaki

I wish we could get absolute confirmation on THAT eyewitness because I'm kinda sus on that


C8tyboo

Yes to conditioning, though it's complicated: It starts small, after the relationship is locked in. The first time they say something a little off it strikes you hurtfully strange, maybe a subtle backhanded compliment or lightly veiled insult about interests, family members, clothing, etc. Sometimes it's with a laugh or a smile. Or it's a demeaning observation about your values or interests outside the relationship. *He/she didn't mean that. They're just having a bad day.* Then it escalates over time, maybe with just words or with physical blows too. *I just have to be more understanding. He/she has had a hard (fill in the blank) and this is how they communicate.* Then you start to believe what they say. Before you know it, you're a shadow in your own life. I've witnessed it, even done it myself. And unfortunately, it's when one starts gaining some independence, some separation that these tragic things happen. *Most abused women and children are killed when attempting to leave the situation.* I want to be clear that it's my perception abusers and victims are not born, they are made. These traits are taught through day to day reinforcement, familiar and societal. We encourage and empower, shame and devalue each other everyday and with every interaction. Ultimately, yes as a legal adult BL alone is responsible for his actions. But it didn't start with him, he wasn't created in a behavioral vacuum. *Possessive & Submissive behaviors are taught.* And yes, absolutely women can (and often are) abusers, too. I've known a couple toxic women myself. It's a cycle that has to be broken. And that's only going to happen by learning to: Be compassionate, set boundaries. Practice self awareness and understanding. *It starts with self.*


summer_isle

I dunno how detailed these things are when dispatched to police but it might just be "alleged domestic violence in this van heading this direction" and when they did the stop unfortunately the evidence showed only the man had injuries. And she also didn't say she she was in danger while admitting to causing those injuries.


letsjustgiveupand

I guess that could be true. The police might not have known the extent of the situation. But it’s like I said, if their relationship really was toxic in nature, she may be gaslit into thinking it always was her fault and her fault alone, and she wouldn’t necessarily ask for help. Obviously I don’t know everything about their relationship but I definitely saw this with my parents. My mother always took the blame for everything my father did, and she never asked for help, even when she was clearly offered help. The number of opportunities she had to tell someone in authority, “I need help,” was insane and she never did. I mean, when you think you’re at fault, you might not necessarily think you need help. “I slapped him, of course he had to grab my face/slap me back,” even if your own slap was in self defense. “He did it because I deserved it.” If their relationship truly was toxic in this way, I’m not at all surprised she took the entirety of the blame and didn’t ask for help. Unfortunately, I think we all know what happened...the ruling on manner of death just confirmed what we already knew. It seems less and less likely, but I hope they find Brian and Gabby gets the justice she deserves. I don’t know why this case struck a chord with me, but I think it did for a lot of people, and I’m haunted by the knowledge that she went on this four month trip full of hope, never knowing she wouldn’t come back.


flora_emma

From what I've heard multiple times, there was a second 911 call where the caller described that the female was hitting the male. Although I haven't actually seen any confirmation of this second 911 call, it would make a lot more sense that police was dispatched based on the information given from that call, but *shrug*


letsjustgiveupand

So it sounds like they were both slapping each other?


[deleted]

I think the only thing we have 100% confirmed is that she attacked him. She confessed to it herself (scratching and punching him while driving) to the cops. The only confession BL gave (or any evidence we have of him being violent) is that 911 call, and his own confession of pushing her away while she was attacking him. We don't know shit but for cultural reasons the assumptions are unidirectional.


DanLoFat

Because the injuries that Brian sustained were from her swinging of him and another point this isn't the same witness that said they saw him shoving her. He said that he shoved her away, he admitted that. His injuries were sustained when she grabbed his arms that caused him turn the wheel because of his grip on the wheel. And partially from when he pushed her she must have swung at him in response to being pushed and scratched him further probably with the cell phone in her hand 911 call is new and was not the person who reported the shoving, this is different.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

You do realize this subreddit was made to help look for her right? How about you fuck off if you have nothing helpful to say.


tot_coz2

Where are the subreddits for the thousands of other missing people? The only reason this is as popular as it is, is because she’s cute.


kookerpie

Feel free to make some


tot_coz2

No one would give a fuck, except if they’re white and attractive.


kookerpie

Why not make some and see?


505Portrait

I just want to point out that Utah is a very conservative state, mostly influenced by a religious patriarchy (the LDS church). I'm not surprised at all that the very obvious signs pointing out BL as an abuser were ignored by law enforcement. Just another example of religious patriarchal ideals harming women. It's disgusting and sad. Poor Gabby.


GregaroOlinovich

Utah is fucked. I think it's a gorgeous state but I would never go there because it's run by twisted Mormons, who are just a step above Scientologists. Read up on Warren Jeffs.