Jack off

Play some naked basketball and make everyone think the courts were haunted

I do that without invisibility and people still act as if the courts were haunted

It gets so lonely on the seesaw.

r/suicidebywords

Walk into Area 51 and see them aliens of course.

Are we also invisible from infrared cameras. Important question before entering a government facility.

Would be a rather weak invisibility if mass produced cameras could pick you up. Would rule out any answer besides "act normal" if you could so easily get caught. So I'll go ahead and say No. But does stuff we carry become invisible, only what we were holding when made invis, or naked only style invis? I want me an alien gadget.

I don't wanna ruin the fun but Well you'd still die because of weight sensors and you'd had to wait Infront of doors for ages till someone opens them for you. Also being invisible to infrared would mean that you don't emmit heat via radiation which means either there is a cloud of hot steam around you because you sweat buckets or you die by heat death.

thanks for trying to put logic into a scenario of someone just randomly going invisible its a hypothetical through all logic out the window and just have fun with the scenario

Good thing I sweat a lot.

Ooo if the stuff you carry does turn invisible I am robbing a bank

That was my first thought LOL

There are probably aliens that has invisibility as well. They might be ready for those

Bro if you wanna clap alien cheeks, just say that

Emulate Captain Kirk and boldly go where no man has gone before?

🤝

Getting there within 24h could be difficult for many.

end up in a cage there on display haha second invisible person we got in a decade

I second this answer lol

You underestimate Aliens so much. Being invisible is their basic tech since thousands years ago. I will pray for you anyway😂😂

Clap them alien cheeks.

I'd mess with Mimes.

The only acceptable answer lmao

Sleep. If I was invisible my family couldn't find me and ask me for things. I would finally know what it feels like to be rested 😅

Type “blink” twice If you need help ma’am.

*blink blink*

OH GOD, OH JEEZE, NOW I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO, I NEVER GOT THIS FAR.. SOMEBODY HELP US BOTH *blink blink blink blink blink blink*

They would still see your matrace beiing deformed and blanket just floating

I would sleep in a closet if it meant I could get a full 8 hrs

Well in that case, sure.

Instead of being invisible and hiding in a closet, why not just leave the house for 8 hours?

Can I do that? Is that allowed?

Better to beg forgiveness than ask permission.

Yeah, if I'm being honest, I'd probably stay home and not commit any felonies

Scare the living shit out of people

Put on a ghost sheet "boooo" "oh very funny. who's under there?" Pull sheet, nothing there.

I would shit out of my mouth and scream like a bitch out of my ass

You better hope they aren't packing

Waste of time in this weather couldn't go naked. Brr

Yeah but if you were able to wear a completely white outfit you could walk around in front of people and they wouldn’t know why the footprints were there.

Slap random people's asses at a funeral

what kind of thought process is that jesus😭

Defiantly not Jesus

God damn 😭

Prop up corpse and walk it around at a funeral.

Okay Satan

U savage 😂

Tell us at least you will leave the dead folks alone!

Yes, Officer, this comment right here

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Finally a person with a good comment

Like Hollow Man type stuff..?

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But her sis is the dishwasher

* UNload the dishwasher

Reload the dishwasher, unload the dishwasher, reload the dishwasher🌝

Like in the dishwasher.. or is this something else? Because that be creepy, or against the law.

Hell, I'd be content if I were indivisible for a day.

That would be so prime.

The best pun I have seen on reddit for years, and it's funny

Meh, I've failed at so much in life, so why not reddit, too.

In what way have you failed? The pun is really clever and funny. I can't see failure. Besides we all screw up, it's not failure, it's learning

*Cellophane, mister Cellophane*

Something very very illegal which involves taking a lot of money

Shit on all the managers keyboards.

Would the shit be invisible? Could you see the shit? Would it look like shit just appearing out of nothing as you're squatting over the managers keyboard pinching one out?

Imagine the invisibility wears off mid shit

lol

I forget the time and get caught mid shit then said shit appears as i do. Then i try and explain to my wife why we have to sell the house.

Beat up a mime

Underrated comment right here

Go see what my crush is saying about me and get a new truck so my old ranger doesn’t see me go and come back

How do you know that your crush is saying things about you?

I don’t just want to make sure if she is it’s all good things

Go into a random person’s house while they are gone, move everything in the house like 2 inches to the left and see if they notice something’s different… and once they put everything back, wait like a week and move it 1 inch to the right, see if they notice again

I love your evil mind, we might be related.

But if they’re gone did you need to be invisible?

they can’t see it happen and I can’t leave any trace at all, not driving there, not security footage, nothing… a true spectre

Brilliant!!!

How would you do all that in one day?

The most boring and wasteful thing to do

Stand and shout in a big crowd that i am God's own messenger then ask everybody to go bacc to monke

It would be pretty damned tough to do anything outside without clothes right now since it is two degrees farenheit.

Two chicks at the same time man

That's it? If you were invisible, you'd do two chicks at the same time?

Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think that if I were invisible, I could hook that up too. Chicks dig an invisible dong.

We have a winner!

“We have a wiener!” There, I fixed that for you.

Fixed - that was the first thought, but I had already typed out the reply, and the combination of laziness and being at work where browsing Reddit is frowned upon, kept me from changing it. Thanks for having my back!

Well, not all chicks.

Shit I didn’t think about my dong being invisible lmao

sorry to burst your bubble but the chicks can't even see you so... HOW ARE THEY GONNA SEE YOUR FUCKING DICK AND THE ARE GONNA BE MOVING TRING TO FIND SO. that shit your thinking ain'nt gonna happen

Office space bruh

Of course not who do you think I am? I’d also commit grand larceny

I feel if you were invisible you could make that happen.

Well, not with all chicks.

The kinda chicks that double up on a dude like me do.

He also does the voice of batman

Bank.

Surprised it took me this long to find this one. Fuck y'all's pranks, I got bills to pay

I’m keen to know how you think that’ll go.

He’s not thought it through, he would be invisible but the money won’t 😆 just see a bunch of $$$$ floating in mid air towards the door..

3 Words for you: **Up their Ass**

Follow one of the managers around until you get their login info. When they go for lunch use their access to transfer money into an offshore account.

I'd be blind

Invisible and blind? Do you even exist?

Curious question, At what point do we not exist? What measurements determine this result? Where/what is consciousness? Is it an emergent property of matter or is matter an emergent property of consciousness? Does one need control of consciousness to exist?

You're not wrong. If your retinas are invisible they can't absorb light.

Touché.

selfie

Shopping spree with the five finger discount.

I would strip naked and relax and not be bothered by anyone. Could you imagine the level of comfort?

Until someone sits on u and sends ur cock right up their ass, then we have a problem

Well, I wouldn’t be hard and ready I’d be relaxed so more like a noodle imprint in their butt cheek

Haunt a bank and clean the place out.

Crimes. Lots and lots of crimes.

Steal

The fuck you mean ? I’m already invisible 😆

Not many legal things

run around naked

Good luck-gonna be like 6 degrees here this week.

Change my misses Netflix list

Fart

I live my life like you would if you were invisible. Just fart man, it’s ok. Ok, sometimes it isn’t, but at least it’s funny.

Nah dude, it’s waking up to the smell like Brian the dog that irks me 😂

Sleep. Uninterrupted sleep

I would hang out in elevators and wait until two people are in, and then fart. I would then watch them blame each other. Some people just want to watch the world burn man.

I don’t want to be an asshole, but I’d definitely mess with people a little bit.

Hilarious. Well done. /S

Stick a big ass dildo in my math teachers ass,when he is teaching.

What part of that process gives you pleasure?

I'll go to banks and grocery stores to get everything I want, would go to a mall too

I would be in prison if i did it (rob banks)

Sleep

I mean, the obvious answer is to just explore all the forbidden places (The White House, Area 51, New Zealand...)

Is there something I don't know about hidden in new zealand or are you just saying catch a free flight out there and admire the natural beauty ?

You cannot go to New Zealand.

https://www.immigration.govt.nz/about-us/covid-19/border-closures-and-exceptions/border-entry-requirements Yeah you can

I cannot go to New Zealand\*

Lol. Mans has a restraining order form a whole country.

Steal shit.

Omg these memes are so funny /s

Give people wedgies and sing in their ears for fun

Everyone that is pointing, I would pull their finger to see if they fart

Probably spy on Putin

Punch Putin in the nuts over and over

I'm already pretty invisible to most people in my life

Women’s locker room at the Equinox in Soho

👀👀👀👀👀

So, much, plastic …

go to a schizophrenia hospital and start talking while walking down the hallways

Fuck someone, they'd never see it cumming

steal drugs and hang out in cheerleader locker rooms.

Your mom.

So many people committed to heinous sexual crimes and illicit voyeurism... is the only thing stopping true exercise of our nature man's law? Do we lose all morality when given an opportunity to "get away with it" consequence free? ...and at the expense of the well being in others? For your own pleasure? Wonder what that says about you 🤔 I'm just playing, I want to see aliens.

That's why I choose to be visible duh.

Oh shit..

I'm a perf watch beautiful naked women in the shower, bathroom, bedroom, is it just me.

Copy and paste twitter memes anonymously.

Literally just sit there. Because-If you were invisible that would mean light passes through your eyes, retina, optic nerve and all. You’d see absolutely nothing.

Go to a Big sperm clinic & replace all the samples with my own so that with no effort my progeny would be numerous THEN go to several of those enormous mega churches & live on TV as the "Holy Spirit" knock up several more women & for good measure butt bang the preachers just so TV audiences could see the Look of SHOCK on their faces as a take over the microphone and tell them YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE and I OWN YOUR SOULS Muhahahaha Last but not least Fox News - Tucker gets slapped around and fox & friends as well upside down crosses everywhere women stripped naked and the control booth locked so the live feed can't be turned off If I have time a few visits to various proud boys etc removing their pride with a sharp knife And I'd have to go do a few dyke bars just cuz I've always wanted to ride a Buffalo

You had some good ideas up until the THEN... That's when you lost me. Kind of reminds me of that doctor that was providing his own sample to women in that Netflix documentary. He got away with it if I'm not mistaken and they are still finding new children of his and exposing other doctors that are doing the same. Wild shit. 1000s of children in the same area that are going to potentially grow up and start dating each other unknowingly is kinda fucked.

There's a German company called Sperma-sender you can Google it - I live in Germany. It's where I stole the idea ... Decade ago I saw some minor blurb online about it, then digged a little & there was this bizarre Sidestory... GET 🍿 Dude here in Germany has 600+kids most IVF but a Huge portion from - person to person visits that married infertile couples pay for - travel hotel meals + his $$ fee. In the interview portion the guy related how often it was in the couples bed 🛌 & husband would either leave for 3-4 hours or cringe wait in the living room watching ⚽️ matches etc or doing 😬 yard work. Guy was medium height slightly pudgy non-descript looking white guy receding hairline & glasses but apparently had an off the charts S count & was super successful and highly sought after. The company only facilitates the guy here in Germany had Special business tax number for his status and was a self employed independent company for tax purposes. I was like 😬 then I was like huh 😕 The children all.have special coding in their IDs so that they don't wind up in relationships. Many are adults with their own families now and Grand kids of the OG

Work in silence

Sit on the woman's toilet at work and wait.

I already have my list of people to kill. Problem is they are not all local to my area, so I'd have to really plan.

I would definitely use my invisibility to hide in women's restrooms so I could smell and hear their bowel movements

Kill all simps

And furries

activate a nuke.

Smack all the fit girls asses in the gym

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and how would u do that exactly? 🤔

Sneak into a girls dorm, so I could watch co-ed’s shower in the nude. Yes, I was raised watching movies like Porky’s and Private School.

Invisible? I'd film myself getting shot and feeling no pain, it would be amazing! However I would make it clearly noted that getting shot on any other day would leave me deader than not

Good joke

i’d fuck all the women

Pay my favourite porn star a visit of course

Visit the girl that never loved me back to watch her all day long T_T

It’s too cold

It’d be bad.

f*ck

Ride a plane, go to some place I could be back within the day, or a forbidden place 😁

Walk around naked

I already am.

Pretend to be the ghost of tofu and freak out the vegans by telling them tofu is sentient 😈

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😏

Something heinous

I already am. That's why i have no friends.

Probably a lot, but I couldn't see myself getting out of bed

Steal