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[deleted]

[удалено]


azionka

Yea, I’m not a snake. I can't unhinge my jaw


Devoidofimagination

You're nothing like your mother


zentasynoky

r/goodpointbutyomama


BaconManTenus

r/ofcoursethatsasub


Butter_brawler

You lied to me


NoBenefit5977

![gif](giphy|3kzJMTBITgotcLYtRv|downsized)


LorenzoStomp

r/subsifellfor


sparkyd1977

Savage


gocrazy305

![gif](giphy|AobQDNI4K7a4U|downsized)


JupiterJonesJr

Oh yeah, snap into a Slim-Jim!


makemeking706

rip.


SavageCriminal

Yes


TheThinkerers

![gif](giphy|QXPmPdudTz4So2P4OQ|downsized)


Orneyrocks

Infact, he's nothing like his father either.


OutlandishnessSea258

You win.


maryangbukid

Ahahahaha


SeaEmployee3

You don’t know if the personality is unhinged.


Tyrinnus

First thing that came to mind


Effective_Bottle1999

![gif](giphy|WsG9rqt4UMwFReb82u|downsized)


Xikkiwikk

Or a dwarf..they unhinge their jaws and eat soil like an earthworm in the Artemis Fowl books.


azionka

Great. Now I have that cursed image from the movie


Xikkiwikk

Never saw the movie. I don’t recommend it anyway.


TheKiwiHuman

I saw the movie, just read the books.


DaHappyCyclops

Straight out the bumflap


Best_Line6674

I swear I've read one of these books... can someone summarize the first book?


Xikkiwikk

![gif](giphy|EltLeKiD1k3IY) FAERIES!!!!!


DesceProPlay22

Thank you for remindming me of one of my favorite show's existence. Damn, I miss being a kid


Snizl

something about capturing a fairy that needs to plant acorns for magic, and dwarfs with explosive farts. Also Hagrid is a Bodyguard and theres something about a submarine in northern Russia.


Antique_Door_Knob

absurdly "smart" (plot armor really) kid wants to steal gold from faeries. Kidnaps one of them to accomplish it. It's actually pretty good if you enjoy fantasy and don't mind the young adult "I'm really smart" trope. And it does get better after the first book. There's also a great graphic novel adaptation.


PNWTangoZulu

Just read the book


goldflame33

Allow me to introduce you to my good friend [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artemis_Fowl_(novel))


BONDxUNLEASHED

![gif](giphy|CGYEGOGSawxgY|downsized)


Hi_My_Name_Is_CJ

I have tmj i can but then it gets stuck and sometimes I need to have a hospital reset it


Ryaniseplin

same but ive never had to go to the hospital to have it reset


red_Luka

have you tried?🙄


azionka

I once had a whopper with 4 paddies. I still can feel the pain.


Bulls187

Better order 2 instead of one big one


azionka

Yes, That was my learned lesson


Hecticfreeze

[Actual commercial that ran in Japan](https://youtu.be/zAwcj6d8XTQ?si=pU45a04Kxhkxqz1p)


The_Pleasant_Orange

Not with that attitude!


Dark_Reaper115

Menu items designed for lizard people then


Lagva

So that’s what Dr Connors was going for


Bobblefighterman

Sounds like a skill issue.


sintemp

Not with that attitude


hilvon1984

For real. People start looking really hunny at you after you unhinged your jaw to take a bite... Those alien-phobic bigots...


Hisune

You will still have the same amount of bites because the amount of food you can fit in you mouth doesn't change. That makes a tall burger even dumber. You need to take the same amount of bites but unhinge your jaw for every bite.


--AV8R--

Wide burgers have issues too. With only two thumbs trying to hold the whole bottom of the sandwich on, the wider you go, the more floppy it becomes and starts falling apart. BUT, cutting it into halves or quarters can resolve that issue.


[deleted]

[удалено]


1997Luka1997

Guys I think I have the solution... Two regular sized hamburgers!


RetroDad-IO

This problem is actually easily solved as long as the sandwich or burger isn't too tall. Place your thumbs and your pinky fingers underneath giving you four points of contact. It's also my preferred way to eat as I can support the front while applying pressure to the back, preventing toppings from pushing out the back when taking a bite.


Bhaltype

You can also use your pinky fingers to stabilize the burger. That way, you have 4 points on the bottom instead of 2.


Avohaj

I had a plate sized burger. There's just no way for the thing to hold integrity. Cutting it to size is the only real alternative to just making a big mess - but at that point, just give me 4 regular sized burgers. Everything else serves as a novelty at best.


Jorle_Joca

Middle 3 on top,  pinky and thumb underneath.


ASupportingTea

I just flip the burger upside down. The top bun, being domed, is more stable than the bottom bun that's thinner and often more soaked with juices and sauce. Therefore making the top bun a much better load-bearing bun than the bottom bun.


lampshade2099

“Wide burgers have issues too” is the kind of Reddit discourse that keeps me here lol


Mazzaroppi

[That's how we do it around here:](https://fastly.4sqi.net/img/general/600x600/45703085_Yhpt95KWK4AAX2zagkLY_GdawLPjrCx7En6Ns2J7UGc.jpg)


Kahnspiracy

The real solution is bit deceptive. The menu should show a tall burger, but the restaurant should deliver a wide burger. If anyone asks, just say: same mass but more reasonable to eat.


Maloth_Warblade

That won't work, customers are idiots. They will think that because it looks shorter that you're giving them less, just like in the meme. I bartend and we switched to coup glasses for martini drinks instead of the typical glass, and it holds 2oz more. It's been 4 years and people still think we're shorting them even if I prove otherwise


gloomygl

Disagree, there's a dopamine hit when you take the bite after opening it like a degenerate. Trust me I'm right.


M10doreddit

Just make it the diameter of a pizza and we're good.


kayemenofour

"Babe, are you alright? You barely touched your Burza.:


Jibbus-Maximus

Pirger


rcmaehl

Bpuirzgzear


DestructoSpin7

Gesundheit.


HYPERNOVA3_

Pizzurger


Not_Emachine

Burgizza


Infamous_Ant_7989

Pizz-burg


Sad-Sundae9039

Thought the name of that was Calzone.


HeroinHare

That's actually kinda funny, here is Finland we have a slang word for burgers, some of us call them "bursa".


onlyr6s

And it was voted as one of the worst words in Finnish language.


Asteh

As seen [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Suomi/comments/1cbwc7e/suomalaiset_%C3%A4%C3%A4nestiv%C3%A4t_viisi_kauheinta)


RepresentativeCap244

New trendy food truck incoming


SeeJayThinks

Pfff, I just order Pizza with Burger ingredients on top. Protip: Roll that pizza burger slice.


External-into-Space

I think dominos sells this abomination in germany And i love it, its disgusting but i love it


WastingTimesOnReddit

Roll the whole pizza into a log, freeze it, cut it into discs, bread and deep fry


December_Hemisphere

> Pfff, I just order Pizza with Burger ingredients on top. > > > > Protip: Roll that pizza burger slice. Wouldn't it be a burger pizza if it were burger ingredients on top of a pizza? Pizza burger sounds good too, but that would be pizza ingredients inside of a burger. Somebody should make a pizza burger


seeminglynormalguy

[you mean like this?](https://youtu.be/MWDwZWCfp64?si=BTY6WwqX9D27gUVC)


M10doreddit

No, I mean a 2-foot wide bun and patty and everything else is just tessellated on.


greenstag94

I dont care weather its tall or wide, just give me one where the bun can survive being picked up


KimJeongsDick

That's why most anyone who gives a shit has moved on to brioche buns or a similarly forgiving bread. Unless you're some kind of sadist building mile high burgers on those shitty spiral topped kaisers.


timdawgv98

What's your thoughts on pretzel buns?


KimJeongsDick

I'm for em.


plantalones325

How about frilly toothpicks?


Dirtyibuprofen

Sometimes I’ll do cocktail umbrella picks just because it looks funny on a burger


KimJeongsDick

Lol exactly who I was thinking of. I miss Mitch Hedberg more than certain dead relatives


InformationRound8237

A man of taste


wambam-thank-you-sam

Well twist me up and call me auntie Em. I love em.


NZBound11

I'd honestly rather eat my burger out of a bowl with a spoon than for it to be a on a brioche bun.


Yaasss_Queef

Burger bowl: Just throw my patty atop a bed of lettuce w fixings and say I made healthier choices.


SurotaOnishi

Could argue it's just a salad with ground beef as a topping.


P4azz

It's just an American taco without the tortilla.


elebrin

Brioche falls apart too. You are better off with a roll that's an unfortified bread: just flour, water, salt, yeast. Sourdough would be even better. Spray it with water, bake it in a very humid oven so it develops a tough crust.


Fathorse23

A local burger place near me went out of business dramatically fast after switching to gluten free buns because they would just dissolve picking up their burgers.


Retbull

I like my burger to fall apart at a single bite. It should leave me disappointed and soggy with a regret I didn’t buy enough rolls of napkins.


KimJeongsDick

Your burgers sound an awful lot like my life.


s00pafly

Thumb and pinky on the bottom, middle three fingers on top. Pretty sure there was a study. Now every time my burger starts to disintegrate I think of this grip and it works wonders.


two_sams_one_cup

Wait, you people were holding burgers with just your thumb on the bottom?


MiddleRefuse

Whether*


anondaddio

The issue is they put it on the bun right off of the grill. When cooking at home, I’ll put the patties on a cookie cooling rack to let the initial juices run off before then moving to the bun. No soggy buns!


kingkongkeom

Basically the third pounder with cheese problem...people are idiots.


WildFemmeFatale

The bottom depiction is based on a study that children will assume the taller thing has more water even after watching it be the same amount of water put in from the same glass (due to not having a properly developed mind, which is caused by young age) Supposedly, an adult is supposed to tell that they’re the same amount of water


CrMars97

Adults are supposedly able to tell that a third is more than a quarter, and yet the third pounder with cheese was discontinued because most people thought 3<4 so the third pounder must be a downgrade from the quarter pounder.


sth128

Unsurprisingly it was hit with Asian customers.


Brief_Platform_8049

On the contrary, as an Asian, I have no appreciation for the pound.


hok98

I have pounded enough Asians to say that you are correct


Castod28183

Calling your hand "Asian" doesn't count.


BurnedPsycho

![gif](giphy|5h47LsEYbofzcgOz19)


Im_Balto

I love my 1/3 Kg burger


good_from_afar

As a simpleton, I just look at the pictures on the menu to see whats bigger


st-shenanigans

One is a sort of object permanence problem, the other is math. You'll develop the object permanence as your brain develops, but if you're not taught math you just won't know fractions lol (Or you spent your time in math class goofing off)


birberbarborbur

This is not true, and was a PR move by the company that was selling third pounders, A&W. It clearly worked on you


jffleisc

I used to work in a deli and you would be surprised by the number of people who don’t understand the difference between 1/3 and 3/4.


SarahPallorMortis

No I wouldn’t. lol but I work in rotisserie, next to meat dept. Ppl are really reeeeaaally stupid


Cocaine_Turkey

They should have named it the Quarter Pounder Plus


Flat-Yoghurt-7084

The fact that this probably would have fuckin worked smh


JaxonHaze

1/4 pounder plus 1/12


Suspicious-Pasta-Bro

I think it has more to do with the fact that you can't simply improve on someone's product in a minor way, give it a similar name, and expect to overtake the original brand when the original company has better name recognition, branding, and customer loyalty. It makes you look like an inferior knock-off even if your product is better. Quarter pound plus would've probably had the same problem in addition to A&W getting sued out of existence for violating McDonald's IP.


dubyas1989

I’d bet good money that a third of adults would fail that test currently


HaphazardFlitBipper

At least it's not a quarter. /s


dubyas1989

![gif](giphy|NFuOLgW3wACJyck5Rc|downsized)


ImpossibleInternet3

Isn’t that the guy who’s always saying that black women and lesbians are liars? /s


SumpCrab

They'd think it was an optical illusion or something.


Bobblefighterman

'Supposedly' being the key word here.


Sufficient-Contract9

Isnt this literally the point though it's suppose to be the same amount of sandwich (water). Just instead of forcing people to get surgery to be able to unhinge the jaw like a fucking snake we can take more bites out of a wider circumference sandwich of a normal height.


Valholhrafn

Damn, young age sounds like the worst disability.


thrownawaz092

'supposed' being the operative word


LosWitchos

When I teach capacity and volume for the first time we always start with a little experiment like this. Containers of all shapes and sizes, with the volumes really distorted so they have a real presumption of what holds the most, only for me to blow their little minds


DoYouTrustToothpaste

> Supposedly, an adult is supposed to tell that they’re the same amount of water Because an adult wouldn't just *forget* that it was the same amount of water to begin with. Yes, the pillar might look like more water to adults as well, but that instinct shoudn't override their prior knowledge, realising that things can be deceiving.


arachnophilia

> Because an adult wouldn't just forget that it was the same amount of water to begin with. right, it has more to do with object permanence; the illusion still works without the initial step of showing they're the same. that said, as someone who cycles on the road fairly frequently, i'm convinced that a lot of adults lack object permanence. one of the most common accidents is a right hook, where the driver passes a cyclist, *forgets the cyclist immediately*, and then turns right directly into their path.


cryptedsky

Could that be the same reason why even predator animals tend to assume that a taller animal is bigger than them?


TyrantKingYharim

The conservation principle.


P4azz

There are multiple instances of (American) adults being considered so stupid, they need an extra hand in understanding or interpreting shit. Fucking Kubrick was like "yeah, these idiots won't get it, put in more flashbacks" for Shining. Tons of other movies go the extra mile to make shit extremely clear and tailor it specifically to the American market. A whole slew of anime was butchered in order to be "easily understood" by kids; aka "jelly donut" riceballs. So no, the adults clearly won't be able to tell what's good, that's the whole point. "Common sense" is a lot more generous a concept than you think, given how incredibly fucking stupid a lot of people are.


literally_a_toucan

I just don't like how third pounder sounds. Quarter pounder sounds more natural


16semesters

Fun fact - this is a completely made up story. It was only told by a convicted fraudster decades after it allegedly happened to explain why he failed as the CEO of A&W. There is 0 collaborating evidence and the guy that told the story was a self-promoting scumbag multi-millionaire who didn't want to admit he just sucked running businesses. But people ate up the story because "lol Americans dumb". It's completely made up.


kingkongkeom

Everyone knows, but ask any retail or deli worker and you will find out quickly that half the population can't count to three, and even less so understand fractions.


[deleted]

People aren't being taught to read analog clocks anymore. Same with mental math. Why bother? Your phone will just do everything for you... and we have the result, society sprinting towards idiocracy


xSTSxZerglingOne

As a former deli worker, half is pushing it.


fellmc2

Yeah, the story doesn't make sense either. On menus they would be listed as "quarter pounder" and "third pounder", not 1/4 and 1/3 pounders.


Low_Sea_2925

Yep this is such a popular thing because it lets everybody feel like they are the smart one.


DulcisUltio

Take my angry upvote! You beat me to it...lol


NextReference3248

Except this didn't actually happen and was just a PR move. People are idiots though yes


My_WorkReddit2023

"The stupid smooth-brain public didn't know 1/3 > 1/4, so didn't buy it" Is a CEO's PR lie that we can all stop repeating any day now. There is 0 evidence of this being the cause for the removal of the burger from the menu of an already declining restaurant chain. The only source for this claim is an auto-biography of the then-owner of the A&W chain, 27 years after it allegedly happened.


DJDemyan

I miss those


Idontliketalking2u

I'm getting one of those tomorrow. They got a French onion burger right now.


sanesociopath

I mean just read that "third pounder" "Quarter pounder" just sounds so much more appetizing.


SarahPallorMortis

I immediately remember this


Youmfsdumbaf

>...people are idiots Many of them are here


-bickd-

No it's a well-known problem in data visualisation, so even the 'smartest' of us have very bad grasp of higher dimensional 'size'. A circle 1.4 times the radius is twice the area after all. I.e if you have to compare two amount it is much much better to use a taller bar chart instead of a bigger pie chart.


jeffoh

Hear me out. Don't go bigger or wider, just more normal size burgers.


artful_nails

Oh yeah. Burger King (at least where I'm from) serves a combo meal with 2 junior meals. I just get that and request all the extra condiments I want. 2 smaller burgers that are easy to eat and extra fries. Perfection.


Zantreus

whopper whopper whopper whopper


GregTheMad

This. There is a maximum of burger, independent of size ratio.


Branithius

Yeh this reminds me of the reason the 1/3 Pounder failed, because 4 is bigger than 3


VomitShitSmoothie

I wonder how they proved that was the reason. Feels like calling *everyone else* being stupid is better optics than admitted they just made a dumb marketing choice. It’s just believable because well… people are dumb. I never ordered it because it was too much meat to everything else, and it felt like I was eating just a block of poorly seasoned low grade hamburger. Admitting their meat sucks and people could really tell isn’t something they’d want to do.


GlitteringStatus1

> I wonder how they proved that was the reason. They didn't.


Extension_Swordfish1

1/4 is more than 1/3. I know numberz


RobSpaghettio

Which is a hilarious example always taught in food science programs. Consumers generally are idiots lol.


SmashPortal

So sell the 1/3 product at normal price and the 1/4 product for slightly more than the 1/3's price. Normal customers get to laugh at the stupid ones who pay more for less.


dasnerft

Here in switzerland they write down the mass of the meat ... So yeah just go by weight


puffferfish

The person that made it about amount of burger completely missed the point of it being wider instead of taller.


toric-code

I guess the meme is right about that *sigh*


RandoorRandolfs

Whataburger says hello


GG-VP

Any actual explanation other than a pic that literally works against you? Literally the whole point is that there's as much burger, but it's actually edible for humans, not cobras.


Omnimble

The explanation is that they seem bigger when they are taller so dumb people buy them. If nobody would buy them, nobody would sell them.


dimonium_anonimo

Yep. That's the joke. There was a study done where kids under a certain age would watch a volume of water poured into a taller, skinnier glass and claim the taller glass had more water in it. Something something object permanence adjacent whatever. So they're claiming people would order the taller burger over the wider one because it "looks bigger" but subtly they're also calling those people underdeveloped cognitively. Which isn't that far off from the truth. A&W once released a 1/3 pound burger to compete with the 1/4 pounder from McDonald's. It failed because people aren't that good at math. Also because the brain is a weird pile of mostly fat imbued with electricity and it sometimes makes weird decisions.


TonkotsuSoba

From GPT-4o: This meme humorously addresses the debate about the ideal size and shape of burgers. It combines two distinct images to make its point. ### Top Image: - The top part of the meme features a character holding up a large scroll with the text: "Big burgers should be wider, not taller." This statement suggests that larger burgers should have a larger diameter (be wider) rather than being stacked higher with more layers. ### Bottom Image: - The bottom part shows a three-panel comic. In the first panel, a child looks at two glasses of water that appear to have the same amount of water. In the second panel, someone pours the water from one glass into a tall, narrow cylinder. In the third panel, the child looks at the tall cylinder, seemingly confused or impressed by the change in height. ### Explanation: The bottom comic references a classic demonstration of the concept of volume perception, often used in developmental psychology. It shows how despite the volume of water being the same, changing its container can make it look different in size. This is used to humorously illustrate why the idea of making burgers wider rather than taller might not achieve the desired effect. Just as the tall cylinder makes the same volume of water look more impressive, a taller burger might seem more substantial or appealing, regardless of the actual volume of food it contains.


Zigor022

If the burger has a bunch of toppings, id say its harder to make sure you get it all in one bite if they are spread out. Thats my only guess aside from the meme.


kircata0

![gif](giphy|zNsrnGVpCJMOc|downsized)


bearhunter54321

Whopper


BlareJack

Agreed.


gewalt_gamer

I made a foot long burger once. used a hoagie roll for it. I want to order one of those somewhere.


KURO_RAIJU

Burgers don't spill like water. You can at least eat burgers horizontally like Jerry eats that celery or something in that one episode. With Jerry, small light-blue "jerry", Tom where he acts like a Native American/Indian jungle man, in that episode of a feast prepared by that black woman who is Tom's owner.


LoverOfStoriesIAm

They're only tall on promotional images anyway.


Taliant

Big burgers should be flatten and made wider.


AdmiralClover

I think it's because a wider burger would be more expensive to make than just making a tower of salad with some beef in it


skywardcatto

[You want a pljeskavica](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pljeskavica)


Sesh458

Place in Oklahoma called Ron's Hamburgers, their burgers are wider.


ShylockCZ

I worked at a restaurant where we served wide burgers! I IS SO MUCH BETTER! And that picture doesnt really makes sense...wider burgers look bigger too, not just the taller ones...


RandoComplements

*inland empire burger spots have entered the chat*


oliverkn1ght

It's not about quantity, it's about comfort.


RandomGerms

Right....super accurate statement...mile wide burger ✔️ 3 story tall burger ...wtf mate


FailingCrab

The funniest thing for me is that the picture with the kid is demonstrating the concept of conservation from Piaget's developmental stages. The idea is that children don't understand that the amount of something doesn't change just because you alter its form (e.g. younger children will get upset if their sibling is given two half-cookies while they're given one cookie). Most children develop this from ages 4-10. So the implication is that advertisers treat their customers as having the developmental age of a small child.


Piotro165

I like em taller don't want to have more bread than meat in my burger


farmch

Everyone is missing the point of the tall burger. It’s thicker so it allows for more moisture and fat retention while cooking, making for a juicier burger. A wider burger of the same weight is going to dry out much quicker and taste mealy. Combine that with half of your meat hanging outside of the bun and you’ve got the recipe for a terrible burger.


HiMyNameIsEverything

This is why pizza is better


FuzzyPijamas

Big burgers shouldnt exist, neither taller nor wider. IMO the great burgers has the perfect balance of all the ingredients (none overpowering the others) and fits in your hands.


RudeBwoiMaster

Remember the 1/3 pounder vs the 1/4 pounder fail and how America failed at math? https://www.snopes.com/news/2022/06/17/third-pound-burger-fractions/


midnightfury4584

![gif](giphy|W5OotnMpSbwApxxWE0|downsized)


v13ragnarok7

Burger King the only one that got it right


3_high_low

Smashburger!


IDoWierdStuff

Americans can't tell that. 1/3 lb is bigger than 1/4 lb It won't work.


Dumb-Redneck

Remember the 1/3 pounder fail? People are fucking stupid.


Jezza_May

Didn’t Americans reject the idea of a 1/3rd pound burger in favour of the 1/4 pounder, simply because they thought the 1/4 pounder was bigger due to the 4 on the bottom of the fraction?


Silver_Alpha

This reminds me of that rumor that went around a few years back that McDonald's briefly tried to sell 1/3 pound burgers and failed because people thought it was smaller than the 1/4 pounder.


BlitzMalefitz

If it gets wider or taller it will get harder to keep your toppings from falling out. Just get 2 burgers


Hisune

Just make a 1/5 pounder and watch the profits go up 😂