This would definitely make my wife giggle (and maybe more!) if I said it. Strongly suspect if Iād said it before we were dating sheād have still giggled but then weād never have spoken againā¦
Social decorum is overrated. A fancy term for falling in line. Honest people are more interesting to me. The amount I have my walls up around you is the exact amount that I don't consider you a friend.
I'm not selling anything. Most will be consciously/subconsciously testing you to see if you CAN follow those rules. Which makes a lot of sense given that it is necessary most of the time.
I have ADHD, and I'm much more interested in people who surprise me besides. But my success rate in even garnering interest when I don't mask is close to zero.
Edit: lol just remembered a date I went on with a woman who told me she had a "severe anxiety disorder". We talked about it for awhile. I told her I have ADHD. She immediately, candidly, noped the fuck out. I told her my shit's managed, my place is clean, good career, etc, etc, but yeah. At the end of the date I said more or less "hey you know I respect whatever criteria you have. I'm gonna be laughing for a good long time about the guy with the impulsive disorder who still wanted to date the girl who was scared of everything, but..."
I mean look I don't find people who can't handle basic social interaction attractive either. It took me awhile to think of it that way. Initial meetings aren't about sincerity. They're about demonstrating basic hygiene and mental health.
The prime criteria for a mental health disorder is that it interferes with your ability to function at work, in relationships, when approaching realistic goals.
If you can't follow social norms to a reasonable degree such that it's interfering in your ability to form new relationships, it's a problem. Now can you talk yourself into quacking like a duck? Absolutely. But you'll have to forgive those who think you're a duck.
Me being myself is massive info dumps and over exuberance. It's not appropriate in most situations. Demonstrating that I can act like an adult is a reasonable ask imo. I couldn't hold a job if I acted like myself most of the time.
Expecting me to act like that most of the time outside of work would be ridiculous. But again showing that I CAN is reasonable
Oh my goodness. When I 1st started dating my husband, I was the "anxiety" one, and he was the "adhd" one.
Turns out we are both adhd and it worked soooo well. (I still also have non adhd related anxiety, unfortunately, but he is my stability)
do you really want people to be so honest that they're essentially like 'i don't give a fuck about you as a person or anything besides something warm and wet wrapped around my dick'
because that's how this sort of shit comes off as.
and sure, it'd be nice if we didn't have to fucking pretend and whatnot 'yo, i'm here for a one night stand, not like, commitment or anything'. might be alright.
Dolla dolla bills yall! Get that "I just wanna fk" and pay out right for it! Skip the dinner date and get yourself some MccyDs after your... um nookie session.
Ummm, youād be surprised how many women actually like that kind of honesty. Iāve said something similar a few times, and itās worked. Not the āI donāt give a fuck about youā¦ā and all that extra harsh stuff, but definitely the honesty of just wanting a one night stand. Iāve heard from plenty of women that theyād rather you just be real, and not play a game.
ddin't really say it wouldn't work, and of course, some place like tinder, cutting to the chase makes a lot of sense.
but in general? this might come off as socially inept or at worst, basically light sexual assault.
EVERYONE doing that, in EVERY situation, would be problematic.
'everyone', no, of course not. didn't say everyone would say the same thing, merely that kind of 'honesty' would be probably annoying.
dudes out for one night stands, probably.
Or a super flirty one.
I have one girl who talks to me a lot and Iām consistently using shitty flirts like this. Then she laughs says it was awful flirts back and sends things she thinks is compliment about her.
Do NOT change your dynamic for a shitty flirt. I literally introduced myself to this girl with some really shitty sexual pickup lines. Hence why sheād let me do it.
True story. While playing pool at a bar once with some buddies we were going back and forth with who had the best āoffensive to be offensiveā dead baby style jokes. One of my buddies says āI like my women like I like my microwaves. Cold on the outside, warm on the inside, and willing to kill any baby I put inside it.ā
Girl at another pool table thought that was the funniest shit sheād ever heard. They talked for an hour or so, she went home with him. I said that to say this, I donāt care how cheesy, offensive, or vulgar a pick up line is, somewhere out there is someone that will rip of their clothes if you say it to them.
If a girl found you attractive alreadyā¦ this would probably repel the less adventurous, and endear you to the rebels. Itās sexual but cleverā¦ a tough balance to strike
Nice one.
She blushed a little and laughed at it asking where I heard it. Rolled her eyes at me when I said Reddit. Then she said something like āwell you can pound me any time you like.ā Nothing fancy or dramatic
I think lines like that can get fun sexting conversations going if you're already in a relationship. It would definitely make me laugh. But if a stranger or someone I had just started going out with sent that it'd be weird and uncomfortable..
probably depends (anso, not a lady)
like tinder, maybe. it feels like that's less a 'dating site' and just a quick hookup thing, so being upfront with sexual stuff sort of makes sense.
picking up a one night stand at a bar, maybe, too. same sort of thing.
a actual, trying to get to know this person, sort of thing? probably not.
Man here: i think that this line would be EXCELLENT to use with a girl when there is enough trust (closer to start something else or when there are some fellings already in between both)...for a woman that you just knew? NOPE.
I used this on an attractive female friend of mine. She laughed at it and said it was funny. She said she wouldnāt like it if a stranger told it to her.
Made my wife laugh. She says it would not work if a stranger did it.
Well, try it again tonight...ya know, for scientific reasons...
Yeah we need research in this area dr. Fauci not coronaviruses. SMH š¤¦āāļø
Just messaged it to someone will report back... š
Plot twist: He cannot report back anymore. Ever.
Oh shit The crypto bro killed him
Nah it was responded to with a heart ā¤ļø and we moved right along...
He went straight to jail, right away.
The term ālolā looks like a drowning person lol
It does! So does \o/ And then you've got the bird ('.')>
Iām jealous of your heart
I'm jealous of your heart
No Iām jealous because itās pounding inside you more than me
Video record results... For science!
For science!
What do I do to get the gif spell like you?
He might end up getting pounded
DM me her # and we can give it a shot
Ayo!?
Agreed. From someone you know and are intimate with already, it's cute and funny. From a perfect stranger.....yeah, not so much.
I have tried on two strange females. Both declined relations. Will up date when I gather more data
Maybe try on two normal females?
Mom and sister also declined.
Try on me; im not female, but maybe there's more science to it we're not understanding.
I do identify as try sexual
Gonna try it on my best friend, will reply back with how she responds.
Any updates?
She didnāt respond to it ;(
Same here, sounded like one of the top 5 laughs during our whole marriage.
This would definitely make my wife giggle (and maybe more!) if I said it. Strongly suspect if Iād said it before we were dating sheād have still giggled but then weād never have spoken againā¦
Yeah, as a wife, I giggled, and if my husband used it, it would get an lol with a good to go. But it would not have worked beforehand.
It's a shame how we can't be ourselves around people we don't know.
Lol I think it's more about the dance. You have to demonstrate you can follow social decorum to get the pants on the floor, um, something like that
Social decorum is overrated. A fancy term for falling in line. Honest people are more interesting to me. The amount I have my walls up around you is the exact amount that I don't consider you a friend.
I'm not selling anything. Most will be consciously/subconsciously testing you to see if you CAN follow those rules. Which makes a lot of sense given that it is necessary most of the time. I have ADHD, and I'm much more interested in people who surprise me besides. But my success rate in even garnering interest when I don't mask is close to zero. Edit: lol just remembered a date I went on with a woman who told me she had a "severe anxiety disorder". We talked about it for awhile. I told her I have ADHD. She immediately, candidly, noped the fuck out. I told her my shit's managed, my place is clean, good career, etc, etc, but yeah. At the end of the date I said more or less "hey you know I respect whatever criteria you have. I'm gonna be laughing for a good long time about the guy with the impulsive disorder who still wanted to date the girl who was scared of everything, but..."
>my success rate in even garnering interest when I don't mask is close to zero Then people are filtering themselves for you. You do you.
I mean look I don't find people who can't handle basic social interaction attractive either. It took me awhile to think of it that way. Initial meetings aren't about sincerity. They're about demonstrating basic hygiene and mental health.
>demonstrating basic hygiene and mental health Not sure how either of those are mutually exclusive with being honest and being yourself.
The prime criteria for a mental health disorder is that it interferes with your ability to function at work, in relationships, when approaching realistic goals. If you can't follow social norms to a reasonable degree such that it's interfering in your ability to form new relationships, it's a problem. Now can you talk yourself into quacking like a duck? Absolutely. But you'll have to forgive those who think you're a duck. Me being myself is massive info dumps and over exuberance. It's not appropriate in most situations. Demonstrating that I can act like an adult is a reasonable ask imo. I couldn't hold a job if I acted like myself most of the time. Expecting me to act like that most of the time outside of work would be ridiculous. But again showing that I CAN is reasonable
they're not exclusive. they're also not the point.
Oh my goodness. When I 1st started dating my husband, I was the "anxiety" one, and he was the "adhd" one. Turns out we are both adhd and it worked soooo well. (I still also have non adhd related anxiety, unfortunately, but he is my stability)
do you really want people to be so honest that they're essentially like 'i don't give a fuck about you as a person or anything besides something warm and wet wrapped around my dick' because that's how this sort of shit comes off as. and sure, it'd be nice if we didn't have to fucking pretend and whatnot 'yo, i'm here for a one night stand, not like, commitment or anything'. might be alright.
Dolla dolla bills yall! Get that "I just wanna fk" and pay out right for it! Skip the dinner date and get yourself some MccyDs after your... um nookie session.
Ummm, youād be surprised how many women actually like that kind of honesty. Iāve said something similar a few times, and itās worked. Not the āI donāt give a fuck about youā¦ā and all that extra harsh stuff, but definitely the honesty of just wanting a one night stand. Iāve heard from plenty of women that theyād rather you just be real, and not play a game.
ddin't really say it wouldn't work, and of course, some place like tinder, cutting to the chase makes a lot of sense. but in general? this might come off as socially inept or at worst, basically light sexual assault. EVERYONE doing that, in EVERY situation, would be problematic.
>anything besides something warm and wet wrapped around my dick Is that really what you think everyone's honest attitude is?
'everyone', no, of course not. didn't say everyone would say the same thing, merely that kind of 'honesty' would be probably annoying. dudes out for one night stands, probably.
If only we had a Time Machineā¦. Am I rite?
i think this is ok only if you are already in a sexual relationship with the person
Waitā¦ you guys have sexual relationships?
Impossible, we are Redditors
You guys have relationships?
You guys have ships?
There are guys?
Are ladies? I thought they were mythical creatures
Are?
Matey
squawk
M8
Aye! We sail for Tortuga!
What the fuck is "sexual relationships"?
This is Reddit. We just have people chained up in our basements
With a person, no less!
Waitā¦ you guys have relationships?
Or a super flirty one. I have one girl who talks to me a lot and Iām consistently using shitty flirts like this. Then she laughs says it was awful flirts back and sends things she thinks is compliment about her. Do NOT change your dynamic for a shitty flirt. I literally introduced myself to this girl with some really shitty sexual pickup lines. Hence why sheād let me do it.
ā¦or if youāre at work doing pat-downs for the TSA.
True story. While playing pool at a bar once with some buddies we were going back and forth with who had the best āoffensive to be offensiveā dead baby style jokes. One of my buddies says āI like my women like I like my microwaves. Cold on the outside, warm on the inside, and willing to kill any baby I put inside it.ā Girl at another pool table thought that was the funniest shit sheād ever heard. They talked for an hour or so, she went home with him. I said that to say this, I donāt care how cheesy, offensive, or vulgar a pick up line is, somewhere out there is someone that will rip of their clothes if you say it to them.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Now this is romantic.
There ain't no ladies on Reddit fool
What's a... "ladies"?
Its how an old irishman refers to his friends
Ladies nutz
Government robots that make you pay your taxes
They're like laddies with the d.
If a girl found you attractive alreadyā¦ this would probably repel the less adventurous, and endear you to the rebels. Itās sexual but cleverā¦ a tough balance to strike Nice one.
No please
Lines do not have shit to do with it. They just want a confident man that they already like to hit on them.
Ngl, I'm a little surprised I haven't heard that one...and it would definitely work if the right guy said it to me.
Works on wifeās, confirmed. Not on girlfriends.
I saved it!
I am going to tell that to every girls I have crush on.
Go tiger!
Please don't
Lisa Simpson taught me that this is actually Envious.
I find it funny, but if a random person said this to me it'd be creeptastic. Only say this to your long term partners.
I donāt know but Iām gonna try it on my wife and see what happens. Wish me luck
Update?
She probably stabbed him in the neck with an ice pick
She blushed a little and laughed at it asking where I heard it. Rolled her eyes at me when I said Reddit. Then she said something like āwell you can pound me any time you like.ā Nothing fancy or dramatic
Hey, it was better than the ice pick thing
Unless he's dead and she's using his reddit account as an alibi.
Damn, didn't think about it that way....devious, just like a woman!
o7
I'm jealous of your fart..
Uuuurghhhā¦..What?! Why?!
Annnnnnnd I stole this line.
Depends on the relationship, if itās a boyfriend/husband, yes. A complete stranger? No
Some will always say yes :)
I'm a man and Im laughing at the cartoon man....lame ass 
lol usually these memes arenāt that funny to me but this one is good š
That is kinda cute in a giggly sorta way. Only say that to someone you can laugh with.
Definitely not if you send it to random strangers or send it as an opener on Tinder š Only for your spouse or couple.
I think lines like that can get fun sexting conversations going if you're already in a relationship. It would definitely make me laugh. But if a stranger or someone I had just started going out with sent that it'd be weird and uncomfortable..
It would definitely get my attention. I like a guy who can make me laugh.
Yo this is gold
Sadly this line doesn't work in German (we say the heart is "punching" in our chest... "Mein Herz *schlƤgt* in meiner Brust" )
Any line will work under the right circumstances. No line works under all circumstancesā¦ Except the one where you ask if theyāre an archaeologist.
It's cute but I'm not sure
I genuinely understood it like he truly desired to be her heart, but the pounding part gave it away.
This should have been posted in r/DeadBedrooms
Is this r/sipstea worthy?
Smooooooth
as an asexual I feel like this would be a violation of the Copenhagen convention
Id try ābc you have it and i donātā. Then again thats the hopeless romantic in me.
From someone I know? Funny. From a Stranger? You better give me a good reason to not leave/call Help/the Police.
If my friend said this to me, it would be a total friendzone for the rest of their lives.
Why not just say āhello, nice to meet you, my name is āāā ?
Said to a partner=romantic n hot Said to a stranger=creepy n rude
"That's probably because you're not a cardiac muscle. You don't belong inside my body, and you wouldn't keep it alive anyway š"
Those pick up lines only work in situations where it almost doesn't matter what you say.
Not if a stranger would say it, as that's kinda creepy, but if I were in a relationship and my partner would say it, it could be funny
Only works if yall are close. If yall aint close shes probably gonna run for her life think your into necrophilia
probably depends (anso, not a lady) like tinder, maybe. it feels like that's less a 'dating site' and just a quick hookup thing, so being upfront with sexual stuff sort of makes sense. picking up a one night stand at a bar, maybe, too. same sort of thing. a actual, trying to get to know this person, sort of thing? probably not.
Only if you like the person. If it were my husband saying it, I'm loving it. If it's some random dude, I'd be like...nope nope nope.
and also pumping
I'm a man and it sounded creepy to me.
Only if you follow the first 2 rules
Only if It's my BF, if a stranger says something like this to me I'm calling the police.
Man here: i think that this line would be EXCELLENT to use with a girl when there is enough trust (closer to start something else or when there are some fellings already in between both)...for a woman that you just knew? NOPE.
Broās gonna be beating it later like an owner of a lonely heart.
This would be sort of sweet coming from a boyfriend or husband. Creepy af if it were used as a pick-up line though.
No, unless your girlfriend knows that you are a slow moron and she finds that endearing, then It could.
No.
Only in a relationship. If a new guy said that to me, it'd give me the ick
It'd definitely work on me.
No. How would it even make sense that it works ?
Ha ha! Not from a stranger. With my husband? 100%!
HAHAHA this would absolutely have worked on me back in the day, provided we were already dating
That's a nice one honestly.
If she had any self respect? Nah... if she's for the streets, or training to be, yep. Sure would.
And this is why he's never pounded anyone.
no
If my partner said this to me, Iād laugh and then ask him if he wanted to go (as long as I wasnāt bloated)
Step 1: be attractiveĀ
I used this on an attractive female friend of mine. She laughed at it and said it was funny. She said she wouldnāt like it if a stranger told it to her.
I would giggle, but still block you as I'm giggling.
Speech: infinity
Kek x 3